#i am entirely weak for royal writing

[seetangus]

Oh how about: Reader loving Azula throughout her mental health crisis and still visiting her in the asylum. So, as she heals, she realizes how much she loves the Reader… and maybe through the story, you could see her reactions to certain things like if R talked about another girl like Ty Lee or something, Azula would feel jelly but doesn’t understand why or if R talks about Zuko she may think she’d like Zuko more like their mother…

idk but it’s sounds fun and I know you are awesome at writing so I bet it’ll be good!

Healing - Azula x reader

[Masterlist]

Azula x gn reader, no warnings

1.897 words, I hope you like it! :)

The metal door closed audibly, its movement making the torches close to it flicker. They barely spent enough light to make things visible in the cell. Now you two were alone.

Azula sat in front of you, tied to a metal chair in a straitjacket. It was a humiliating treatment for a princess, you thought. Still, your heart felt great relief from seeing her again after several months of waiting. It had been difficult to convince the new fire lord Zuko and his comrades to let you visit Azula, as you were considered dangerous due to your loyalty to princess Azula that you had maintained even during the last days of the war. But here you were, finally seeing her, the one your heart ached for, again.

“Hello Azula. I am happy to see you again.”, you said truthfully but very quietly. You did not dare asking her how she felt. Seeing Azula, who had always been so confident and strong in a weak and broken state like this intimidated you.

You could not make out what Azula was thinking. You had been told that she had for some time behaved like a raving maniac, screaming and trying to attack anyone who came close to her. But that phase seemed to be over now. It was obvious Azula was mentally still in a very precarious situation, but right now she was rather calm. At least it seemed like she was.

“What are you doing here, y/n.”, she asked. Your heart jumped at hearing her voice, even if it sounded differently than before. What she said did not sound like a question, but you still answered: “I wanted to see you.” Quieter, you added: “Maybe you need someone to talk to.”

A small silence followed. You could tell that Azula was, even if it had been months, still very stressed and angry about her defeat against Zuko. Still, with a heartwarming effort, Azula tried to initiate a peaceful conversation by asking you about the current situation of the fire nation and other wide-ranging topics. You happily answered all her questions. The conversation got more concrete when she asked about her old friends. Ty Lee, Mai, Iroh and even her brother Zuko. All the ones that had betrayed her. You told about their new positions and how they behaved. You also told her that, as you had remained in your position in the royal palace even after the changing of the fire lord, you were somehow reconnecting with some of them, even if it went slowly.

While listening to you, Azula increasingly looked lost. You would have expected her to be angry at the traitors taking her place in the hierarchy of the fire nation, but she seemed to worry about something entirely different. Nevertheless you talked with eachother until the visiting time was over and the guards ordered you to leave. You also realised your eyes hurt because of the dim light in the cell - it must be painful for Azula to stay here all day.

Having left her cell, a guard told you that they had feared for the worst and were surprised at how calm Azula had been with you. You couldn’t imagine why that was either.

< • ◇ • >

A few weeks passed until your next visit. In that time Azula had changed much; you were told she was still a bit unpredictable, but her violent outbursts had ended completely and she was overall more stable. That had led to the guards daring to attach extra torches to the walls of her cell, finally making the room brighter so your eyes didn’t hurt anymore. The whole atmosphere was different this visit, it was less depressing.

This time you greeted her a bit more confidently and with a smile. It would have been hard not to smile when seeing your loved one feel better. She also looked better than last time - her hair looked less messy and she did not have bags under her eyes. You were genuinely happy it went uphill with her, and you didn’t hide it:

“Hello Azula, you look beautiful today!”

Your warm greeting seemed to have catched Azula off guard; you could see she hesitated a bit before answering, and you even saw her blush a bit, but surely it was only the warm light of the torches combined with your own feelings that made you imagine it. Azula wouldn’t blush. Once Azula answered though, she did so with her old attitude: “Of course I look good, y/n. Did you expect me not to?”

That might not have been the most welcoming and thankful answer she could have given, but at least it proved she really felt better, more like back when she wasn’t here. Ah, you couldn’t wait for when she would boss you around and insult anyone else again like in the good ol’ days.

But enough of the dreaming, back to reality! Azula simply made you tell her anything that you thought might interest her. She said she TRUSTED you on choosing the right topics. That was obviously a very unusual thing for her to say but you took it as a compliment and started speaking, mostly about how things changed under the rule of her brother and how the people she knew behaved. Every time you spoke about Ty Lee or Mai you could see her eyebrows furrow and she did not comment again until you changed topics. When you mentioned that Mai and Zuko were a couple, her whole face lit up and she interrupted you, exclaiming: “Ha! That’s fantastic! Isn’t it great, y/n?” You agreed but Azula suddenly feeling happy for her brother genuinely confused you.

Anyhow, Azula soon seemed to become annoyed by the things you told her about the people she knew. After some time she simply cut you off and said: “Yes yes uncle Iroh’s new tea shop is interesting and I should care but I want you to tell me more about yourself.” At first, you were dumbfounded, but since she seemed to really be interested (and also since it was impossible not to fulfill any request of hers anyways), you talked about yourself for the rest of your visit.

Some time later, the guards opened the door and told you to leave. You had already said good-bye to Azula and turned to go away, but she suddenly made a harsh move with her head, loosening a few strands of her hair that now dangled down. “Oh y/n, before you leave, would you be so kind and fix this?”, she purred with unusual kindness, inevitably making you feel butterflies.

Hesitantly, you turned around and lifted your hand to her beautiful hair, gently brushing it back into place. She just smirked triumphantly and let you leave. You couldn’t put into words how heavenly you had felt that moment, despite the stares of the guards.

After you were gone, Azula thought about what had happened. Why had she done this. Making her hair messy on purpose to ask you to fix it. Not that it hadn’t felt good, feeling human touch after months of deprivation had actually felt awesome, she just genuinely did not know why she had suddenly felt the need to get your attention. And why did she feel so hurt when you talked about Ty Lee or Mai? She did not like not knowing the answer to something, so she was determined to get it the next time you visited.

< • ◇ • >

You did not let Azula wait for long. As quickly as the harsh regulations of the Asylum allowed, you returned. According to the guards, who prepared you for the visit, Azula had been behaving much better: there had been no angry outbursts or attempts to harm anyone at all since your last visit.

Luckily for Azula, her good behaviour had led to an even greater improvement in the furnishing of her cell: the torches had been replaced with lanterns who emitted a brightness that somewhat resembled daylight, making it much more bearable to stay in her cell.

“How do you feel, Azula?”

“I’m well, y/n. Actually, it is very relieving that you are here now, because I can finally ask you some very important questions.”

Naturally, Azula saying your name made you feel butterflies. She sounded almost like her old self again. “I’m happy to answer anything you ask me.”, you assured, excited about what questions she could have for you. You looked at her expectantly.

She also only looked at you instead of asking questions. Well, she did not just ‘look’, she seemed to have… found something on you that interested her very much. More than any question she could ask you.

“Your eyes look very happy, y/n.”, she suddenly said.

You had not been prepared for that. Your eyes widened, making Azula grin. It was not her usual grin, though. It seemed like this grin was not fueled by self-absorption and superiority as it had been until now, but rather Azula seemed to be genuinely happy, feeling real joy. You had never seen that on her before, so naturally you were very happy for her! And for yourself, for being able to witness such a beautiful moment and being part of it.

“Oh I wish the visits weren’t this short.”, Azula said, her gaze still venturing in the depth of your eyes. You were a bit confused. “Azula, the visit has just started - we have plenty of time. Also, I will come back soon! As soon as possible!”, you quickly assured.

Azula tried getting closer to you, but she was restrained by her chains. You had both almost forgotten about them. “Y/n, I do not only want to be with you during visits.”

You were speechless. All your blood was gathering in your head and your voice decided this would be a good moment to give up. “A-azula … I want to see you more often too…” you mustered up all the courage you had. “In fact”, you gulped, “I feel pained in every moment we are separated from eachother.”

Azula smirked and lifted her nose up, making her look as powerful as before; she was clearly enjoying you being flustered. But there was something different, something new in her eyes. Something that had not been there a few months ago, and that had grown each time you visited her.

“You like me, y/n, don’t you?”

Azula lowered her head, and it seemed like there even was a bit of worry or insecurity in her voice when she asked again: “You do, right?”

“Yes Azula, I do.”

You wanted to hug her, caress her and hold her close, but knowing that the guards would rush in and restrain you, it was better to remain sitting. You did not hold back expressing your affection verbally, though.

Azula was, like always, the first one to regain her composure, and you tried to do so as well, although it was not easy.

“Well, it’s settled then.", Azula said.

“... What’s settled?”, you asked, unsure of what she meant.

“When I get out of here,'' Azula answered, “I will arrange that we see eachother much more often than we currently do and that the royal family welcomes a new member. And now tell me again how much you love me, y/n.”

[gourmetofglut]

The Mischaracterization of Ferris: A thread analyzing Re: Zero's most misinterpreted and overlooked character.

Note: This is a re-edit of a thread I wrote on Twitter. I recently decided to start using Tumblr a bit more. Since I've also been wanting to back up most of my threads, I figured I might as well move everything here. This is the first re-edit I'll be posting on this site. It was one of my favorites to write, so I hope it's enjoyable!

Side story spoilers for the entire thread. Arc 8 spoilers in the speculation section (will be marked since so many people aren't caught up).

For novel readers of Re: Zero, Ferris stands as one of the most divisive characters in the fandom. Considering his poor utilization in the anime and his role in the story within Arc 3, it's easy to see why.

On one hand, Ferris is one of the most outwardly aggressive characters toward Subaru in Arc 3. He makes no secret of his disdain from the start and consistently throws jabs at him every opportunity he gets. This behavior can certainly leave a negative first impression.

On the other hand, Ferris is quite a fascinating character who serves an important role within the narrative of Arc 3. He doesn't let Subaru off as easy as everyone else, which is exactly what makes seeing him grow respect for Subaru satisfying.

Whichever opinion you hold, that’s mostly irrelevant today. Instead, I will be simply discussing his character and his role in the story, as well as arguing in favor of many of his merits that people overlook.

Ferris's primary role is similar to all the Royals Candidates' knights: serving as a foil for Subaru. I've explained the similarities between Subaru and the other knights before, but to sum it up as quickly as possible all 3 of them represent a version of what Subaru could be.

Reinhard is a version of what Subaru could've been if he were the typical isekai protagonist, Julius is a lot more complicated but he’s essentially what Subaru could've been if he were granted enough power to face his enemies on even ground, and Al is Subaru if he had been just a bit unlucky in where he had been sent; becoming someone who struggles to care and abuses his powers to the fullest.

Ferris is much the same, though it can be argued he parallels Subaru the hardest, except for maybe Al. The resemblance on paper between the two is uncanny. They are both physically weak men who often don't fit traditional gender roles and have the sole desire of helping a woman they love to achieve her dreams of becoming a Royal Candidate, no matter the personal costs to themselves.

To do this, they use an extraordinary power unique to them (in Subaru's case RB, and in Ferris' case his magic that is relative in power to an authority). Their need to rely on others for victory is a source of immense mental turmoil and often leaves them full of self-loathing.

They place immense value in the lives of others, even those who have or will harm them, to the point that they are willing to be harmed to help them. Seeing others casually disregard the lives of others serves as one of the things that anger them the most.

They are both prone to obsessively possessive behavior and have sometimes even directed it towards the one they love. This often leads to them getting in trouble due to their jealousy.

There are more similarities I could point out, but you get the point.

Where am I going with this though? Ferris is clearly a parallel to Subaru, but what does he represent regarding him? Put simply, I believe Ferris is meant to represent what Subaru could've been if his parents were just a bit different.

Parent and Child is one of the most crucial chapters for informing us about just the kind of person Subaru is. Perhaps the most important piece is how it helps us understand just how much of his current personality is a result of his father. Subaru not only looked up to him but actively mimicked him to achieve his goals. The pressure of the surrounding world caused him to default to trying to be his father instead of who he truly was. Subaru's parents weren't perfect. In fact, they were very flawed people. Regardless of this fact though, they are responsible for many of Subaru's positive traits.

The same is true for Ferris and his shitbag of a father. If you were to ask any novel reader what Ferris' defining trait as a character is, they would probably say anger or bitterness.

This isn't surprising, as that's how he typically acts towards everyone except Crusch and Fourier, even when it comes to friends such as Julius.

I would argue, however, that this is merely an act he defaults to when he is stressed or angry, similar to Subaru's mimicry of his own father.

During his bitter moments, such as his cold statement to Subaru as he leaves Crusch's mansion in Arc 4, Ferris is merely defaulting to what he has learned to be the best method of dealing with his stress...a method that is eerily similar to how Biehn sometimes acts in EX 1.

Whether Ferris acknowledges it or not, his attitude at his worst moments makes him come off like his father. He can be cruel, sometimes even callous. He shows intense rage when he doesn't get his way and attacks the part of his opponent that is most vulnerable.

This attitude can blind him to the point that he can even hypocritically act racist towards Emilia. Ferris' entire life has been defined by discrimination. In the face of someone he should know has faced many of the same issues, he once again acts almost exactly like his own father.

It was in the middle of a mental breakdown, but that does not excuse him just like it does not excuse Subaru.

Speaking of his parents, it's also notable how their inability to connect with Ferris parallels Naoko and Kenichi's struggles with Subaru.

Ferris' dad is a bombastic, loud man who was (once) well-respected and causes many of Ferris's issues through his actions and Ferris' emulation of him. His fatal flaw in the end was that he could not understand Ferris, similar to how Kenichi could not fully understand Subaru.

Ferris' mom, on the other hand, fully understood the distress he was under but did not have the confidence to interfere or make a change as Ferris wasted away, similar to Naoko's inability to help Subaru when he most needed it.

That's not to say Kenichi or Naoko are even a thousandth as bad as either of those two, but their struggles with their child deeply parallel each other.

Back on track though, I want to highlight a bit more of Ferris' parallels with his father using perhaps the most damning example.

This specific scene is from "The Saga of the Great Crusch-sama Begins." When faced with his mother, whom he hates so much, he attempts to stab her in the chest. Crusch gets caught in the crossfire causing Felix to freak out and unlock his water magic to save her.

What can at first be written off as just a unique origin for Ferris' water magic gets recontextualized hard in EX 1, where it's revealed his father killed his mother in the exact same method.

It's such an eerie similarity and something that I feel gets overlooked too often when discussing Ferris.

As shown in scenes like the one above, Ferris often projects this image of hatred, bitterness, and malice. It's easy to write that off as just the kind of person he is as so many often do...

...but there's obviously more to it than this. There is far more to Ferris than his mimicry of his father.

Ferris doesn't allow himself to be vulnerable very often in the story. Only when he is with Fourier and Crusch, as well as when he is in the most intense moments of crisis, does he show who he actually is. Stress is the best test of character after all.

The best example to me? His confrontation with the father he so often emulates.

If Ferris was actually as vindictive as he so often outwardly acts, how would you expect him to react to the death of a man he hated so much?

Wouldn't he taunt him? Wouldn't he make his last moments a living hell? Wouldn't he crow in pleasure at his agony? Would you be able to even blame Ferris if he made Biehn's last moments hell?

You would expect that...but that's not how he reacts. At that moment, watching as the man who tortured him so much dies an awful death, he just shows sadness. He thinks about the possibility that they could've just worked things out. He just wishes that things could be different.

Despite everything his father had done to him, despite all the rage at the world Ferris projects, the moment he is put into a scenario he likely dreamed of he can't help but feel pity that this was the only route he could take. He never wanted to hurt even Biehn of all people.

And this, I believe, is Ferris's actual defining trait underneath his persona of cynicism and bitterness: kindness and a greater love for life than perhaps anyone else in the series.

Ferris's power, as Fourier once said, is the kindest in the world. At his core, Ferris is just as kind as his power.

Think about it. Despite Ferris's words, what is the thing that upsets him most?

People who waste their lives. Whether it be Subaru, Fourier, a random Vollachian guard, or even Witch Cultists...Ferris can't bring himself to watch life be thrown away. It just hurts him, regardless of how horrible the person is.

Just like Subaru, Ferris wants to help everyone, even if it costs him so much. The pain that he feels when he is unable to do so is immeasurable, as Subaru himself states in Volume 8. He is struggling with the same realization as Subaru: saving some people is impossible.

So where will this lead? What does this have to do with the themes of the story? Well, to answer that, I’ll have to take a little diversion to talk about one of the more…difficult topics involving Ferris.

Ferris and his relationship with gender is something that I feel a lot of the fanbase is really fucking weird about. Even ignoring the pretty deep-rooted transphobia in a lot of discussions involving him (he isn't trans, but he is heavily trans-coded and there really shouldn't be so much of an issue in letting people read into that), there's a feverish desire to deny that his status as a person not conforming to gender norms matters at all. All too often, people reduce it to just a fetish or something to make jokes about.

The reason this is such a bafflingly stupid take though is because of how blatant the importance is to anyone who has read EX 1. Even Tappei himself has stated that many of the things he wants to do with Ferris could not be done without this aspect of his character.

Ferris's non-conformance is part of a promise made with Crusch. Ferris took on her femininity while Crusch took on his masculinity. It's a promise between the two that proves their devotion to one another. It's the ultimate symbol of their affection for one another.

In Aganau IF Ferris dresses and acts more masculine, precisely because his connection to Crusch no longer exists.

I'd also argue it's why he continues to dress as he does even when Crusch no longer has her memories, desperately holding onto the literal symbol of the bond between them.

However, unlike Crusch who seems to love who she is both when taking on more masculine and feminine traits, finding a balance between them; Ferris can't do the same. He sees it merely as a means to show his devotion rather than something he does for himself.

He constantly expresses that it is all for Crusch and Crusch alone. If anything he seems to resent his inability to fulfill any kind of masculine role, as shown once again in his conversation with Biehn in EX 1.

When pushed to finally unleash all his true feelings to Biehn, what does he bring up as the main reason for his resentment? His abuse? His coldness? His murder of his mother? Any of the innumerable unforgivable things Biehn has done to him?

No. Ferris points at his body. He anguishes over his skinny arms, his inability to wield a sword, his lack of muscle, and his lack of fighting prowess. He hates his lack of masculine features and how he's unable to live up to his idea of what Crusch's knight should be.

He literally sees his masculinity as something stolen from him by his father; leaving him so empty that he needed something else to fill that void.

Crusch gave him something to fill that void. Crusch gave him a way to live. Crusch filled his soul...but he still resents what he "has" to be.

Now does that mean he resents Crusch? No, of course not. But he does resent that this is the only thing he can do for her; the only person he can be. Deep down, he doesn't seem to want to be the way he is, and instead of trying to change that he gives in to despair.

He's stuck in that hatred, in that desire to meet Crusch's expectations, and in that moment where a starving child begged to be released and was finally brought into the light. In many ways, he acts like a child.

This is quite literally represented in him preventing himself from going through puberty; a symbol in many stories of transitioning from childhood to adulthood. He sees his current form as a shackle whether he realizes it or not.

Now does that mean that Ferris should disregard his femininity entirely? Throwing away the representation of his love for Crusch and something that has defined him for so long seems as self-destructive as staying stuck. What's the solution? Where is his arc going?

Well, before that, I want to cover one last thing before I have to delve into Arc 8 spoilers. There's a bit of a side tangent I want to go on.

With everything I've been able to point out up to here, it's clear that Ferris is a remarkably complex character. There's so much to read into and talk about.

So why is he so hated?

He's so similar to Subaru, possibly the most popular character in the novel fandom. Despite all the claims of him being the worst and me highlighting his character's flaws, he hasn't done anything more morally dubious than the vast majority of characters in this series, even when he was pushed to the edge. This is especially true when compared to some of the most popular characters like Subaru or Roswaal. Hell, characters even more directly belligerent than Ferris like Priscilla don't get half the hate (though Priscilla's perception has...its own issues).

Why does he get disregarded so often? Why is he often treated as shallow fetish fuel? Why is he just reduced to being an asshole in every discussion that involves him?

Well, I have a few I can point out.

The first is, most obviously, misinformation. A large portion of the novel reader base has not read Arcs 1-4 in the LN and has very warped views of some of the characters in that section of the story. Ferris is just the most blatant example.

I can't count the number of times I've heard people just blatantly lie about or exaggerate what Ferris did in Arc 3. From the "mana bomb" that has LITERALLY no basis in the text to the "brainwashing" scene treated as a comedy bit that is exaggerated to hell, people go out of their way to interpret him in the worst light possible.

Many of the people who haven't read those sections then see Ferris's ribbing of Subaru in Arc 5 and then run with those pieces of misinformation; spreading it to the point that many believe some blatant lies to be fact.

The second is simply that a lot of people in the fandom don't read the side stories. I don't particularly blame a lot of these people, as there is a lot to get through, but there are a lot of people who take advantage of this for...certain reasons.

This leads to the third point...shipping. Ferris suffers from "Die for our ship" syndrome (https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DieForOurShip…). A lot of people like Crusch x Subaru and Crusch loves Ferris so that ends up being more than enough for some people to hate him.

That's not representative of even close to every Crusch x Subaru shipper, of course, it's just a notable trend that it's hard to pretend doesn't exist with some of them.

All of these factors often go hand-in-hand with the final factor: the fandom's immense double standards when it comes to certain characters.

I'm not going to go into deep detail with this as it would distract from the main point of the thread...but you know what I mean if you've interacted with the community for a significant period of time. It also doesn't help that many of the same people in this category tend to be incredibly bigoted.

Ferris isn't the only character subjected to these double standards, as characters like Emilia and Ram often face similar purposeful misinterpretations, but his frequently unfair critiques have affected his reputation negatively perhaps more than any other.

This isn't to say that this is all true for everyone who hates Ferris. There are numerous reasons you may just not be interested in his character.

However, I feel it's dishonest to pretend Ferris isn't often targeted far more than other characters for often lacking reasons.

With that out of the way, I can move on to the last thing I wanted to cover in this thread. I have established a lot here, so I want to speculate about the future.

From this point forward there are unmarked Arc 8 spoilers, so...you can't argue I wasn't careful. I don't blame you at all for leaving now and I thank you for reading my ramblings.

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Are you still here? Ok, let's start.

With all of the above established, I want to return to the question of where Ferris' arc will go in the future. My belief? I think it will be something similar to what Pre-Amnesia Crusch has already realized, with Felix’s closest parallel in Subaru being close to doing the same.

Crusch, as I mentioned before, has found balance in the two aspects of her life. Throughout the story, she switches seamlessly between the two without a second thought. She is comfortable and happy with both parts of herself.

Subaru is also on a similar path. He feels most comfortable in embracing his feminine side, idealizing it through Natsumi. All his confidence is channeled into that persona, while the other two aspects of his personality (his main self who has all the self-worth of an abandoned puppy and his child self who is representative of his more masculine traits) are imbalanced.

Arc 8 seems to be going in a direction where he realizes how important all of these aspects of him are. All 3 have flaws. None of them are "complete," just pieces of the coherent whole that is Natsuki Subaru.

I believe a similar thing will happen with Ferris.

He will need to find a balance between Ferris, his feminine side that has defined him for so long, and Felix the masculine identity he craves. He needs to find a role that makes him as happy as Crusch was, accepting who he is while striving to become who he wants to be.

I don't expect that to be easy though. In fact, I think the path to get there will be immensely messy and self-destructive.

The idea of Ferris having a breakdown or lashing out has been well-foreshadowed throughout the story. He has had numerous smaller outbursts and has displayed similar problems to Arc 3 Subaru when pushed to an extreme. There's a large amount of toxicity in him that will rush out, sooner or later. It will likely take similar levels of suffering to force him to get a grip, possibly hurting Crusch in the process.

Who do I believe to be the trigger for this? My best guess is Capella.

It is quite possible Capella freed Sphinx and recreated her arms initially. Why would she do this? Why not? We're seeing firsthand how much of a monster Sphinx can be with the Sacrament of the Immortal King. Why wouldn't someone like Capella want something like that under her control?

Of course, Sphinx is almost certainly dying soon. Capella will need a replacement, and who's the only other potential user of the Sacrament? Ferris.

There's also the idea that Capella may have poisoned the Royal Family and, most importantly, Fourier. If Capella does become the main antagonist for Ferris, that could serve as motivation for him to want her dead regardless of his own reservations about killing.

Adding onto this is the fact that shapeshifting is a power with a long history of being associated with identity issues. Tappei likes making his antagonists strong narrative foils to his protagonists, so it would be interesting to contrast Ferris' identity issues with the potentially strong identity issues of Capella.

Finally, there's a lot of potential for her tragic past to parallel Ferris' past, with many implications that the Royal Family may not exactly have treated Emerada the best. The idea that the Royal Family may have locked her away is not implausible and it could make their connections even stronger.

Whatever that breakdown leads to, I expect Crusch and/or Subaru to be the one who snaps him out of it. This will likely be the catalyst that forces Ferris to find a balance. He'll need to let go of things like his self-blame over being unable to help Fourier, his internalized hatred of his current identity, his idealization of Crusch, and his need to save everyone. Ferris's love will finally allow him to grow and change into a person who is the middle ground between his desires and his true self.

After all, that's what Re: Zero is truly about: love and growth. Almost every character reflects this and, if my interpretation of Ferris is right, he could embody that theme just as much as Subaru himself does.

He could be a shining bastion of what this story is all about.

Of course, this is all just my interpretation and speculation. If you disagree with it, feel free to. I just hope I was able to make you appreciate Ferris a bit more/changed your mind on how much potential his character has.

I wish whoever is reading this a nice day!

[alexanderwales]

I've started playing Persona 5 Royal, my first Persona game, because it was ridiculously cheap on Steam. Back when I had GamePass, I installed it but never played past the opening, which I think is a bit weak. I'm about 20 hours in, through the first two palaces, and I'm not sure that my opinion is going to change too much, but I'm registering it now just in case (with some spoilers for the first fourth of the game):

I think having a division between the physical world and the mental world, which is physically represented, is super cool. I used it in Dark Wizard of Donkerk, and am overdue for using it in something else. Psychonauts did it too. Inside Out as well. I will always love this concept.

I don't think I like the gameplay. The last major JRPG I played was Final Fantasy VII Remake, and I thought the same there, so ... I don't know, maybe just a whole genre that I don't have that much of a taste for. It's mostly the random inventory items and pointless mob fights that I'm frowning at.

Severe lack of harmony between the battle stuff and the story. The mob fights have fuck all to do with infiltrating someone's mind. There's stupid elemental shit. The mob designs are interesting but mostly disconnected from each other and any theme.

So far, the psyche stuff has been surprisingly shallow, given that it's the main focus of the game. First palace was a gym teacher (Kamoshida) who's abusing students (physically and sexually), and sees the high school as his castle, but ... I don't know. I wanted more. We're literally walking around inside a character's mind, why is the character study so shallow? He should have layers, like an onion, each more horrible than the last. Kawakami is the other teacher we know best at the start, and there's no sense of how he views her, whether she's a sex object to him, or a non-entity, or someone he's worried about, or what, and I kept expecting that narrative beat to happen. I don't know, I think my fanfic would just radically change the entire palace concept so we get ten times the interplay between real world and mental world, and so we can turn these characters inside out and see all their gross bits.

I wish that Joker spoke more often. He's not really a blank slate protagonist, but there's very little personality there, as much as I'm trying, and that means that other characters are driving the plot and scenes and in general being more interesting than him. This is just a matter of personal preference, and a place where I definitely depart from what the average JRPG enjoyer likes.

I generally enjoy the slice-of-life elements, and to a lesser extent, the time management, though there's a part of me that's just screaming that I should be looking at a guide to maximize values. And if I do that, I'll no longer be playing the game, I'll just be watching scenes and doing inputs. I am definitely not playing this game twice, so if there's a difference in endings, or a big chunk of content I might miss, so be it.

It's relatively low on the anime shit that I hate, though there's still plenty of time for me to be disappointed. The way they're handling Ann is ... kind of not great. She was sexually harassed and then immediately after they have this whole "nude modeling" plot that's played for laughs and titillation, and it's possibly just a me problem here (avoiding spoilers for now), but "girl who was leered at and sexually pressured by her gym teacher being then jokingly pressured by her friends to do sexual stuff she's uncomfortable with" is ... not how I would write it. (The answer to "how I would write Ann" would certainly be pretty long, and I haven't finished the game yet, so maybe it gets better, or gets given more meat in the hangouts or whatever.)

There's still time, but I sort of assume that we're just never going to go into the minds of the protagonists, which is a shame. Tons of possibilities there, and I think if they were going to explore any of them, they would have done it by now. I guess I feel the palaces are underdeveloped enough that I probably wouldn't be satisfied by how they treat the protagonists anyway, but it's what I would have done. Let me see a physical manifestation of how Ryugi feels about his alcoholic father. Let me see Joker's defiance. Let me see Ann's self-image. Show me links between these characters, the differences in how they see the social web.

The frame story for the game is an interrogation by the cops, and I am not a fan. Half the time they're just yanking me out of the story I was in the middle of to signpost "hey, this guy is important". Possibly this will all payoff later in some interesting way, like halfway through the game we reach the "present" and the frame breaks. I usually like that. I've had thoughts on the interesting ways the frame story could be used, and so far they haven't used it in those ways. (Also, there's a bit of weirdness where ... I am pretty sure that I was fighting shadows and using powers outside the Metaverse? Unless the interrogation is actually taking place within the Metaverse. Unsure whether I can register a prediction on this basis, or if there are just more mechanics/wrinkles later on. So far, the interrogation taking place within someone's Palace doesn't seem like it would comport with the rules/expectations that have been set up, but there's still time. I'd prefer not being spoiled if there is a clever payoff or twist.)

This game is apparently 100 hours long, which means it's going to take me forever to finish it. I am enjoying it in spite of any quibbles above, but I'm also feeling like it's only 80% of the game that I want it to be, partly down to execution and partly down to personal preference.

[blaisenova]

ermmmm like i dunno if you're still doing requests buttt could you do like kustard but it turns to dustard

that dynamic always interested me but i never see much about it :3

anon, has anyone ever told you that you're a genius?

the kustard to dustard pipeline is WOEFULLY UNEXPLORED. WHICH SUCKS BECAUSE IT'S SO FUCKING GOOD. so, naturally, i was REALLY excited when i got this ask. yippie!!! an excuse to write fun fucked up dynamics!!!!!

this one is pretty tame. i can't think of any warnings you might need other than it being like..... long and, obviously, kinda angsty. it's fluffy in the end tho. but that's what you get when you ask me to write i guess LOL

thank you all for the requests btw!! i was NOT expecting so many after the kist fic, but i am pleasantly surprised and am trying to chip away at them as quickly as i can. spat this one out in a few hours, so it might not be my best work, but i'm happy with how it turned out either way :)

as always, the link to this fic on ao3 will be in the reblogs once it's posted, if that's your cup of tea (as it is mine LMAO)

i hope this feeds you well anon. thank you for the ask <3

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was undeniable that the multiverse was an entirely cruel and ruthless place.

Or, at least, that was what Red had wholeheartedly believed up until he’d met his other self, in a universe that was so very unlike his own. A universe where the typical LOVE of any given passerby was nothing higher than 1; where Sans and his brother were kind to one another in public; where there was so little need for the royal guard that the worst Sans got for sneaking off to Grillby’s during his shift was a slap on the wrist. It was difficult to believe that a place like that could exist – that it could be self-sustainable, since, logically, their weakness should have led to their downfall – and even harder to look at it as anything more than a childish fantasy that had yet to find its catch.

Initially, Red hated Sans. 

It felt ridiculous, looking back upon it – in the moments when his head lay in Sans’ lap and gentle fingers traced over his scars like they were poetry written in a language Red had never bothered to learn, and he wondered what Sans saw in him that he hadn’t seen; wondered if this was what it felt like to love himself – but it was the truth. It had taken him a while to understand that the circumstances in which they’d grown were enough to turn them into two different people; that hating Sans wasn’t so much like hating himself, or what he could have been, as he wanted it to be.

Really, Sans was so unsuspecting that Red had been foolish enough to let his guard down, forgetting that then was when feeling was the most liable to appear. 

He hadn’t expected to fall in love with the laugh – genuine, unabashed, and lacking all of the gruffness of his own – of someone whose humour was just as terrible as his own.

He’d been far too blind to realise how incredibly endearing it was for someone to wake up and allow themselves to be bleary and half-asleep, cuddling into his arm without even meaning to, even if it meant opening themselves up to being easily picked off.

In allowing someone into his blindspot that he’d believed to be too weak or foolish to use it against him, he’d failed to remember that it was the softest words that cut the deepest, when they would bleed him dry so tenderly and lovingly that he couldn’t even think to fight against the bloodloss; when, instead, he’d lean into the knife and ask them to twist it. The wound was soul deep, and the soul’s wounds could not be so easily ignored.

Though, it was a small price to pay to hear that raucous laughter over jokes that weren’t even funny. Trivial, really, in comparison to soft smiles and gentle touches that moved slowly just to prove to him how tender the world could really be.

“Earth to Red.”

A soul for a soul; a life for a life. They gave one another all of themselves, promised each other that it was enough, and it was. For once, it was, just to be soft.

“Come in, Red.”

There was gentleness in the multiverse, hidden until it was allowed in.

Tiredly, he bat away the hand that waved in front of his sockets, only to grab it by the wrist and pull it back down, firmly, on the crown of his skull. With a laugh, the fingers scratched gentle circles into the bone, and Red hummed happily at the feeling, allowing his sockets to slip shut as he lay against Sans’ legs.

“Where’d you go, space cadet?”

“Nowhere,” he grumbled, sighing softly as he fully relaxed into the touch. “Must’ve dozed off.”

Again, there was that laugh, and Red’s soul fluttered. “With your eyes open?”

“It’s a little known talent of mine,” he hummed.

“Gee, must be handy,” came the response, and amusement never sounded so beautiful. “You’ll have to teach me sometime.”

“Nuh uh,” and he couldn’t stop himself from snorting. “It’s genetic.”

“Ah, damn. Guess we gotta add that to the list of differences.”

“Guess so.” His breath hitched as the hand on his head trailed downward to cup his cheek. His browbones furrowed, ever so slightly, and he felt himself go tense.

“Hey. Look at me.”

After a moment, Red opened his sockets, and there was no sight more welcome than the face of his lover. Each time he saw him was like the first, and Red drank in each of his features as if they’d disappear at any moment: smooth bone, unmarred by chips and cracks; eyelights that glowed softly in dark sockets, like how he imagined fireflies might; ever present, gentle smile that smoothed away his worries. Oh, to be so untouched by cruelty. He’d do anything to keep it that way.

“‘Sup,” he breathed, and Sans’ smile widened as he snorted.

“‘Sup,” he returned. His thumb ran circles over his cheek, and Red leaned into the touch. “You okay?”

With a snicker, he rolled his eyelights at the question. “Super duper.”

Despite himself, Sans laughed too, but, still, pressed on. “You sure? You were spacing out pretty bad before. Like, way out in deep space,” he emphasised, unnecessarily. “No planets around, just stars. Way beyond our galaxy. Uncharted territory. Where no man has gone before.”

“Alright, alright, I get the picture” Red interrupted, though not without chuckling. “‘M okay. Was just thinking.”

When Sans’ head cocked to the side, Red couldn’t help but grin. “About?”

“Uranus.”

At first, his sockets simply narrowed, confused, then all at once, “Ura– Oh. Alright, perv. Har har.”

But, he was laughing, and Red was, too, like it was the funniest joke in the world despite it not even being funny. Maybe it didn’t matter, if Red was the one to say it; if Sans was the one to laugh. Maybe, then, it could be good, even if it wasn’t, really. The sound of their laughter, something shared and sacred, was what Red imagined it might feel like to hear the birds chirp when the sun rose and turned the sky whatever colours it was supposed to when it drove the night away. He hoped that it was blue, like Sans’ favourite colour, but the pictures in his textbooks were too faded to be sure.

When he tuned back in, the laughter had tapered off.

“You do that a lot, y’know,” Sans noted, almost absentmindedly, and his hands turned back to trailing shapes on Red’s skull.

He grunted at the feeling. “Do what?”

“Go to space,” Sans said, simply. “Or… somewhere else. That I can’t reach.”

Red frowned, closing his sockets to cut off the dull thrum of agony he felt in his soul whenever Sans’ smile didn’t reach his eyes like that. “I do it less than I used to. It used to be better, somewhere else – anywhere else – but ‘m not so sure anymore.”

“Where would you wanna go?” he asked, in a whisper. “If you could go anywhere. Anywhere at all.”

For a moment, Red considered. The answer would have been easy before – the surface, of course. Where Paps and every other monster longed to be – but access to the multiverse had opened up options that he’d never known existed. If he could conceive of a place, it surely existed, somewhere. Any place. Anywhere. Anywhere at all. But, if kindness was so thoroughly hidden, why should he want to look for it anywhere else?

“Think I’d rather just stay here,” he hummed. “With you.”

Maybe he should have questioned the way that Sans’ hands stilled at his answer. Maybe he should have opened his eyes; looked at his face; seen his expression; known what it meant.

But, he didn’t.

“Geez,” Sans breathed, with a laugh that sounded breathless. “My answer feels stupid in comparison.”

“Yeah? What’s yours?”

“Anywhere else. Anywhere at all.”

In hindsight, Red should have known it was too good to last; too good to stay good.

A universe where the typical LOVE of any given passerby was nothing higher than 1; where Sans and his brother were kind to one another in public; where there was so little need for the royal guard that the worst Sans got for sneaking off to Grillby’s during his shift was a slap on the wrist. It was difficult to believe that a place like that could exist – that it could be self-sustainable, since, logically, their weakness should have led to their downfall – and even harder to look at it as anything more than a childish fantasy that had yet to find its catch.

Of course, there was a catch. 

There was always a catch. Every childish fantasy grew tainted with time, like the innocence of children was stripped with age. Every fairy tale book grew weary and old, pages yellowed and frayed. Every picture faded, until you couldn’t be sure whether the sky was blue or grey.

But, you hoped it was blue anyway, and maybe that was your mistake.

It was undeniable that the multiverse was an entirely cruel and ruthless place. That was what Red wholeheartedly believed. Maybe, after all, there was a reason that love and LOVE were spelled the same.

Try as he might, though, Red could not hate him.

It felt ridiculous – in the moments when hands clamped around his neck like a vice, choked by the grip and the grief that came with it, as if the two were one in the same, and they would both cry, both tremble in fear, or fury, or something worse, and Red would think that this was what it was like to hate himself – but it was the truth. It had taken him a while to understand that the circumstances in which they’d changed were enough to turn them into two different people; that hating Dust wasn’t so much like loving himself, or what he could have been, as he wanted it to be.

Really, Red had underestimated Dust as he had been before; had assumed that kindness meant the incapacity for cruelty.

And, in allowing someone into his blindspot that he’d believed to be too weak or foolish to use it against him, he’d failed to remember that it was the softest words that cut the deepest, when they would leave scars so deep that all he could think of was how much he missed the feeling; when he’d search for the knife and throw himself against it. The wound was soul deep, and the soul’s wounds could not be so easily ignored.

Before, he’d thought it was a small price to pay. Trivial, really, in comparison to what he had to gain from it. As if it were a simple transaction as opposed to something living, and breathing, and ever changing; as if he would never have to be the one who was tender; as if that made it anything less valuable.

“Red.”

A soul for a soul; a life for a life. They gave one another all of themselves, promised each other that it was enough, and it was. Just as before, it was. Harsher now, but Dust had taught Red to be soft, and Red would teach him what he’d forgotten.

“Red.”

There was gentleness in the multiverse, hidden until it was allowed in.

With a jolt, he came back to reality to a slap on the face, not hard enough to hurt, but more than enough to be startling. He frowned, but, nonetheless, took his hand by the wrist and guided it to the crown of his skull. Hesitantly, as if spurred on by some muscle memory, the fingers ran in gentle circles across his bone, and Red hummed in approval at the feeling as he lay against Dust’s legs.

“Where’d you go?”

“Nowhere,” he mumbled, unconsciously leaning into the touch. “Must’ve dozed off.”

“With your eyes open,” Dust said, and it wasn’t a question. “Freak.”

Immediately, Red snorted. “Guess we gotta add that to the list of similarities.”

Despite himself, Dust laughed; the sound short, subdued, and nothing like the laugh he’d fallen in love with, but something about it made his soul flutter, nonetheless. “Guess so.”

After a moment, Red opened his sockets. Each time he saw him was like the first, and Red drank in each of his features as if they’d disappear at any moment – as they had before – smooth bone that crackled and buzzed with magic, refusing to be underestimated; eyelights that glowed brightly in dark sockets, like how he imagined neon signs would on a city street in the middle of the night; a face shrouded by shadow, as if it was saved for him alone to see. In the end, he’d been marred by cruelty despite Red’s best efforts, but he was beautiful nonetheless.

“‘Sup,” Dust mumbled, and the edges of his mouth quirked up in an attempt at a smile.

Slowly, Red lifted his hand and, ever so gently, cupped Dust’s cheek, pausing when his breath hitched, but, with the same caution, Dust leaned into the touch; barely enough to be noticed, but Red noticed. This time, he saw. “‘Sup,” he finally returned. “You okay?”

“You’re going to disappear,” Dust whispered, and his voice broke on the words in a way that made Red feel hollowed out. “You’re going to go somewhere else. Somewhere that I can’t reach. Like you do when you go to space. It scares me.”

Browbones furrowed, Red ran gentle circles across his love’s cheek, staying silent as Dust took in a shuddering breath to continue; a quirk Red had grown accustomed to.

“I remember what you told me before,” he said, and his hand came up to desperately hold Red’s to his face, like he might forget it was there if he didn’t make sure. “That you did it because it was better to be somewhere else – anywhere else. Do you want that now? To be somewhere else? Away from me?”

“No,” Red said, and the lack of hesitation in his answer surprised even himself. “I don’t want that.”

Again, Dust’s breath hitched, and he frowned, like the answer wasn’t enough, and, maybe, it wasn’t. His fingers threaded between Red’s, and, when he clutched onto his hand, Red squeezed back, holding him with desperation to match. Dust laughed, a breathless sound. “I’m not the person that you loved.”

Scoffing, Red rolled his eyelights at the notion. “Of course you are.”

“I’m not,” Dust insisted, and something about it was a plea.

“Then,” he breathed, “I love you. This you.”

And, with a breath that was cut off with something that sounded suspiciously like a sob, Dust leaned forward – over Red’s body, as if to trap him – and pressed his chest against Red’s. His ribs fluttered with each breath, and Red guided his stuttering breaths with deep inhales that interlocked their ribs with each one. His hand remained stuck to Dust’s cheek, and he squeezed gently, relieved when Dust squeezed back to let him know he was still here; in this reality, not another.

“Breathe,” Red commanded, soft; soft, like he’d been taught. “I’m here.”

Dust took a heaving breath – deep, frantic, like he’d been drowning – and, in a voice that sounded so much like before – reminding Red once more that this was the person he loved, despite the change – he whispered, “Where would you wanna go? If you could go anywhere. Anywhere at all.”

The question made him sputter, for a moment. Then, with a breathless laugh, “Seriously?”

“Please,” he pleaded, so what could Red do but answer?

The answer would have been easy before – here; here, just like before – but, despite how they fought against it, things had changed. Did that mean his answer had to change? That his longing had to shift, too? The multiverse was infinite. If he could conceive of a place, it surely existed, somewhere. Maybe even somewhere that Sans stayed Sans, but would it be the same? Any place. Anywhere. Anywhere at all. But, if kindness was so thoroughly hidden – had been ripped from Dust’s grasp with the signature ruthlessness of the multiverse – then why shouldn’t Red be it? Like Dust had been for him, before.

“Think I’d like to stay here,” he hummed. “With you. Still.”

And, this time, Red noticed the way that Dust’s breathing slowed to a stop; felt the way that his magic crackled between his joints; how something wet slipped between their fingers on Dust’s cheek; knew what it meant.

“Okay,” Dust whispered.

“What about you? Where would you go?”

There was a pause – a moment as Dust inhaled once more; held Red’s hand tight, but oh, so gentle – before he managed to answer. “Here,” he said. “With you.”

[eatmeandbirthmeagain]

hello! a little fic request I’ve been thinking on, not pressuring you to write it or anything, just wanted to share.

the y/n is a hot tempered foreign princess who got married to Baldwin when they were both children. she’s very energetic, straightforward, man-like in her character, but has to adapt to fit in the court of Jerusalem and also to „suit” her husband’s calm manner and the fact that he’s ill doesn’t help.

she’s unhappy about it; maybe even tears a little during the wedding, but doesn’t let anyone to think she may be vulnerable (mostly because she understand that that can be used against her in the future after Baldwin dies). but over the time she finds herself drawn to Baldwin because, well, unlike her teachers, he lets her study and play chess with him. he cares about her desires and interests. he also respects her, not just like a woman but as a friend, and a clever one. maybe some of her advice on the politics is used by him at some point (which would be absolutely unrealistic, but really, we’re talking historical romance with a leper king here…). a cute detail would be him gifting her a weapon of some sort to protect herself because he knows how she doesn’t like being treated like she’s helpless. bonus points if he says something romantic and or pathos’y about it.

did I write this whole oc story as a multiple chapter fanfiction in my head? yes, I did. am I going to finish it? absolutely no. but I’d love to read your interpretation!

♧ "Princess" - King Baldwin x Reader ♧

♧ Angst ♧

A/N: Hello Anon! So sorry for taking so long to write this, ive had so many requests. I'm not sure if this is what you had in mind but it was my interpretation and I hope you like it! I dont really like how it turned out as your request had so much detail and my writing does that no justice, but I hope its okay ☺️! As always, this is based on the film Kingdom Of Heaven, not the real historical figgures. This is also set pre-film. Enjoy!

TW: Leprosy

At thirteen years old, marriage was the last thing on young y/n’s mind. But yet, here she was. Soon to arrive in the city of Jerusalem, to be wed to a boy she had only ever met a handful of times.

Baldwin the fourth. The leper, who's mother just so happend to be ready to find him a wife at the same time her father was ready to find her a husband.

She sat in silence for the entire journey, this was uncommon for her. She usually always had something interesting to say or something to observe with curiosity. But as per request by her father, from now on she “had to act like a proper lady. No more of this ridiculous 'masculine' behavior”.

“You will be wed to a king y/n” he had told her. “You must stop acting the way you do. No king will be allowed such behavior from his wife”. 

Her attempt to keep to herself for the journey had been successful so far. She remained silent and still. Just as her mother taught her. “Just how a lady should be”. 

As the city came into view, y/n felt tears begin to burn her eyes. She would never again be allowed to explore the wilderness on her fathers land, or read every book she was allowed to have from the library. She surrendered herself to a life of boredom and suppression. 

Once exiting the carriage, she was greeted by the royal officials as well as the king's mother.

“I am so pleased to finally meet you young lady" she greeted her with a smile "you shall make a fine wife for my son” . Y/n thanked her and was ushered off quickly to prepare her for the hour of the wedding.

Y/n held back tears as servants worked busily around the room. Dressing her in beautiful garments, jewelry, and makeup. She was distraught. But she dare not cry. They could not see her so weak.

----------------------

The events proceeded and y/n barely even looked at the boy she was marrying. She could not bring herself to make eye contact with the man who would rule her life forever.

They told her to smile. “No man wants to see a lady disappointed on her wedding day” the king's mother had told her before they entered the church.

Baldwin himself was nervous about this day but just enthusiastic. Unlike y/n, he was looking forward to being wed to a young woman. He did not want just a wife to serve him, but a companion too. Someone who he could speak to about all kinds of things. Someone who would love him as much as he loved them. When he saw her, she looked beautiful, but sad. Very sad.

He hoped she was not sad about marrying him. Perhaps his illness deterred her from wanting to even be near him.

But she was still beautiful. She was 14, just like him. He could not take his eyes off her. He had met her a few times before, and she interested him deeply, even though they barely spoke. He more so just watched her play and talk with the other young people from his bedroom chamber window, longing to join them if it was not for his illness.

She played more with the young boys than she did with the girls. Always full of energy and life, always talking and laughing. But now, she looked different. As if the light had been drained from her. 

--------------------

When the wedding was over, the young king and queen got acquainted in the boy's chambers. She still seemed very quiet and unsure about his presence.

“Are you alright?” He asked her the second they were alone. “Yes your highness” she replied in a small voice, very different to the excitable tone she used to have. She sighed and lowered herself onto the small couch, turning away from him to look at her hands.

Baldwin thought for a moment, but then remembered that his mother requested he chose a wedding gift to present her after the affairs.

“I have a gift for you,” he said happily, lightening the mood.

He noticed her eyes light up a little at the comment. “You do?”

“Yes, would you like to see it?”

Y/n nodded excitedly, a smile forming on her face for the first time all day. The boy stood and disappeared behind the red, satin curtains that covered the large windows. He returned a few seconds later with something behind his back and a wide smile.

"I had to hide it, so my mother did not see what I chose for you" he explained. This peeked y/n's intrest greatly.

“Alright, close your eyes, '' he told her, the smile still plastered to his face. Y/n shut her eyes with anticipation. When he told her to open her eyes, she was lost for words. In the young king's bandaged hands, he held a shining silver sword with a pale pink ribbon tied around the handle.

Her eyes widened and stared at the sword for a long time before taking it in her hands to admire it. “Do you like it?” he asked, cautiously, hoping he had not offended her.

“Baldwin.. I love it!!” she exclaimed with a grin, jumping to her feet and wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him into a tight hug. The smile returned to his face and he put his arms around her waist.

“Now you can defend yourself my love. No wife of mine will be left vulnerable, even if there are men to protect her. She will defend herself, because she is strong.” His words filled the queen with happiness and hope. Perhaps her father was wrong after all and she could remain as herself. At least in the presence of her husband. 

-------------------

From that day on, they were inseparable. Unlike y/n’s tutors and parents, he allowed her access to his entire private library so they could study and read together. He allowed her time to herself, so she could do the things she loved without anybody telling her how to behave.

He quite often went as far as to seek her out for advice on political issues, not allowing her straightforward intelligence to go to waste.

Overtime, y/n became used to her duties as queen, but as much as she learnt to fit the role, she treasured her time alone with Baldwin. He cared about her interests, her desires. He respected her, more than anyone else ever had. They played chess together as well, each game being a delightful battle of the mind.

He saw her as not just a wife, but as a companion and an intelligent one at that. And for this, she would be forever greatful.

[hystericstar]

I see you’re looking for writing requests 👀 may I suggest mirror sex with Sidon? That plus a size difference is just 🤤

Mirror sex is my weakness omg 😭😭

Y'all have SUCH good ideas 🤭🤭 I also added to it a little so I hope you don’t mind.

cw: doggy style, riding, mirror sex, size kink, reader gets Sidon a lil extra worked up, fingering, praise, fem reader, Sidon is dominant 🤭

! MDNI !

"M-more please!" You begged, wanting him to rock his hips into yours again. Harder, faster, anything but the slow agonizing pace he had initially set. 'Because I don't want to hurt you' he said. Maybe it was payback for jokingly calling him ‘your majesty’ all day, something that you did to get back at him whenever he did something silly with you. He hates when that word comes out of your mouth. If anything, he always said that he should be the one calling you that. To him, he was your lover full time. He loves his people but sometimes it just felt like the royal thing was a side hustle. But no matter what the case was, you just knew he was enjoying it. Enjoying the sounds of you begging for him to bring you as much pleasure as you could handle.

"So small..." He couldn't help but breathe against you. Truthfully, that wasn’t really it. Although he had forgotten the playful banter that filled his life earlier, and he admitted that your pleas made his chest swell with pride, it was the sight of him absolutely towering over your small form in the mirror that he was enjoying the most.

"Look." He pressed a hand to your chin, gently directing your gaze to the reflection in front of you. You made eye contact as he sat up, pulling you out of your previously bent over position and directing you to sit on him instead. "How cute." Sidon cooed while his hand moved to rest over the bulge in your tummy. “It’s like you were made to fit me.” He chuckled, flashing his signature smile at you through the mirror.

You averted your gaze down to his hand. As if you weren’t horny enough, he just had to go and point out how absolutely stuffed full you were. Sidon took hold of your hands and rested his head atop yours. “I know what you want pearl, but I can’t give it to you unless you use your words.”

You were defeated. The rasp in his voice was the cherry on top as you whined. “Sidon, I want you to fuck me. Please?” That’s what he wanted to hear. “Your wish is my command my love. However, there is one condition…” Your breath hitched when you heard the proposition.

“Look at me.” Your eyes obediently shot up at the order. “I’ll give you what you asked so nicely for, but you are to maintain eye contact with me the entire time. How’s that sound?” His authority made your mouth water in anticipation, the only response emanating from you was a pathetic ‘mhmm.’

“Good girl, that’s it.” He lifted you up by the waist and rocked upwards into you when he moved you back down. Your brows furrowed and your mouth was left agape. His movement progressively grew faster as the seconds passed. Once more, a hand moved to feel the bump on your stomach move up and down, before trailing lower to rub circles into your sensitive folds. That simple action was all it took for tears to build in your eyes.

“Look at your stomach love. I want you to take in how big I am compared to your tiny little hole. And that little hole is all mine. You like that, don’t you? Letting me have you all to myself while you take me so well.” His voice did nothing but echo through your head. Everything was so erotic. You could see how he was basically using you like a toy, moving you up and down while rutting into you, simultaneously filling the room with sounds of repeated skin-to-skin contact.

“A-ah! Yes! Im yours! All yours your majesty!” The sentence spewed out of you in the form of a wail. As soon as the word ‘majesty’ left your pretty little mouth, something in his eyes changed. In an instant, you found yourself laying on your stomach with your hips in the air. Sidon was on you with his chest pressed flush against your back and breath fanning against your ear. Yet his harsh movements never faltered.

“It appears you’ve forgotten my name. Perhaps I’m fucking you so well you can’t think straight? Oh well, I’ll simply just have to remind you, love. Not that I’d mind of course.”

He abruptly pulled out, watching you squirm and whine, trying to buck your hips back into him for more. The coil in the pit of your stomach was starting to fade way much to your displeasure.

“Don’t worry, all you have to do is say my name and I’ll reward you. Now, what’s my name, sweetheart?”

“S-Sidon” your breath was ragged and you could barely speak. Sidon wasn’t nearly as satisfied with your response. He put his hand against your neck and forced you to look up at the mirror. “Look at me when you say it. What’s my name?” “Sidon.” A finger rubbed at your clit slowly. “That’s better, but I want you to say it louder. Try again.” “Your name is Sidon!” This time it was a moan. “Louder. If you’re so insistent on calling me ‘majesty’, then I’ll ensure the whole kingdom hears you.”

“Y-your name is Sidon!” You peered into his golden eyes, raising your voice as best as you could all the while he started quickly fingering you. “Who’s making you feel this good?” “It’s- hah… it’s you Sidon!” The coil from before came back and grew tighter than last. “Thats it. Come for me my pearl.” After a few seconds, the coil snapped and your thighs quivered. He fingered you through your orgasm, taking note of the way your eyes rolled back and your lashes fluttered.

He allowed you a moment to catch your breath before speaking. “Beautiful. I hope you’ve still got energy. I’m not done with you yet. You can scream louder and you know it. Also, you didn’t look at me when you came.” That cheeky bastard-

You did NOT get a wink of sleep that night.

~《☆♡•°•°♡☆》~

tbh I kinda got distracted with the whole ‘louder’ Thing and I hope that’s not too obvious 😭😭

thank you for requesting!

[redleavesinthewind]

elliot's 2023 fic wrap up

2022 version

alright friends it is once again time for me to review the (many) fics i read in the previous year and try to write a more or less concise rec list of my absolute faves (i wish i didn't have to chose but heh i'm not gonna subject anyone to 332 fics in 1 post - also wait only 332 fics? that's like. over 100 less than last year, what the fuck. anyway)

okay now first the part that interests no one but me (yes you may skip this) and that's the numbers part! i'm not making a whole elaborate spreadsheet to then not throw around cool numbers. anyway.

i've read around 4,932k words in 332 fics across 18 fandoms. that is much less than last year, and yeah, i've been generally less productive in 2023 but we don't have to talk about it. at least i have more variety of fandoms this time (let's ignore that it's only 2 more and also that from fandom 13 on there's only 1 fic per fandom)

i started out the year strong with 847k words across 72 fic in february (followed by 753k across 42 fics in january, and 621k words across 63 fics in march). it goes downhill for the rest of the year. eh it wasn't my year so what! 2024 is gonna be more filled with fic reading again!!!

my top 3 fandoms are so entirely unsurprising to me i am almost disappointed in myself. when did i become so predictable. top fandom is young royals with 166 fics! congratulations young royals, you are a very persistent hyperfixation, you didn't peter out after 2 months like i expected. Spot number 2 is taken by avatar the last airbender with 41 fics! giant leap there, but it's also funny because i fell into an atla rabbit hole late 2023 (as i do every few years) and it still got up to 41 fics despite uni not allowing me to read last semester (uni is evil). Same as last year, spn takes third place with 38 fics. speaking of persistent hyperfixations.......... *big sigh*

and that is it the boring part is over let's go to the fun section LET'S REC SOME FIIIIIICCCCSSSSSSS (under the cut)

JANUARY

bet you you'll ... (noraverse) (series) by @gh0sthugs | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 52k words

a kid fic!! and such a sweet one too! i'm kinda weak for kid fics ngl, and nora is so sweet and wonderful, and the relationship that slowly forms between wille and simon is beautiful and comfortable. this whole series is just such a good time

spreadsheet notes: ah to fall in love with the dilf next door who also happens to be the ex crown prince of the country

A Royal Intervention by AnxiousAnaconda | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 18k words

erik is being such a dumbass in this one. like, he means well, but he's kinda messing up and pissing people off (understandably). it's nice to get a view on erik that's not portraying him as this perfect guy though, and the fic is actually so much fun to read. and hey, the prime minister of luxembourg gets mentioned, which i was kinda waiting for in yr fic ngl

spreadsheet notes: big sigh... erik you fucking idiot. stop listening to august. also shoutout to xavier bettel apparently (edit: this aged poorly, fuck xavier bettel)

and each slow dusk by @if-fortunate | young royals, wilmon | mature | 49k words

okay. ooookay how do i even begin with this one. ohhh boy. okay. so. world war three. wille gets stuck in bjärstad with simon, many many things happen, it's about finding hope in a horrible situation and trying to live life despite everything falling apart around you. it's incredibly well written and something about it just has me in awe

spreadsheet notes: i don't know what it says about me that this is without a shadow of a doubt the best fic i have ever read in my life

Put Me Back Together and Take My Heart by @notalotgoingonatthisinstant | young royals, wilmon | mature | 50k words

i once again don't know what to say, this one is sooo good. simon is suffering and both wille and i hate it, but... but wille is there for him and ugh, they just... they just can't be apart. a story of reconciliation and healing from both physical and invisible wounds, and of making the right decisions for yourself

spreadsheet notes: ugh. UGH. my guys. MY GUYS. yeah let's go blackmail the queen

Department Six by @thisdiscontentedwinter | teen wolf | gen | 4k words

a fun short one about stiles and danny working for the fbi and being delightfully weird and mysterious

spreadsheet notes: HILARIOUS i'm in love with outsider pov always

FEBRUARY

There Are No Wolves in California by @thisdiscontentedwinter | teen wolf, sterek | gen | 5k words

you know, sometimes you see a fic you know is going to hurt you, and you've never clicked on anything faster. this is definitely one of those fics

spreadsheet notes: let's be wolves today yeah well derek what if i just break down and cry instead

you got my body, i got your body by @prince-simon | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 9k words

this one's technically part of a bigger series (which, definitely read that one too), but i'm highlighting this one cause... damn... this made me feel things... like, gender things... which is really weird cause wille's gender in this is very much different from mine BUT STILL

spreadsheet notes: how almost 9k of pwp gave me so many gender feelings i will never understand

Changing Channels: Queer Premiere by @emeraldcas, @fellshish | spn, deancas | gen | 27k words

this might actually be one of the funniest fics i've ever read. dean and cas are so stupid (affectionately) and all the crossovers are delightful (bonus that i knew all the other shows). everyone go read this it's gonna be the best time

spreadsheet notes: mel and fells have genuinely outdone themselves this is the most hilarious shit i've ever read

Catalyst by @stretchoutfics | young royals | teen&up | 3k words

a backstory for boris! this fic is within a series of other side character ficlets, but this one has a soft spot in my heart

spreadsheet notes: AAAAHHHH HE KNEW ABOUT THE RECKLESS DRIVING BUT DIDN'T BRING IT UP but also... him being a gay man trying to help the queer crown prince navigate his sexuality that's kinda nice actually, like boris understands at least a bit

The most beautiful boy by lovelysarcastic | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 88k words

there's something incredibly grounding about this fic. the way it develops, the way wille rationalises his thought processes, the way the relationship between wille and simon develops... this fic just kinda sucked me in and spit me out again feeling... content and calm and... it's just... this fic is so beautiful

spreadsheet notes: dude i love this so much??? they're both so stupid??? i love them???

MARCH

All's Fair in Love and Hunting by @badjoices | spn, deancas | mature | 20k words

they're playing gay chicken but also are being incredibly competitive and stupid about it, and i'm just sorry about the shit sam has to witness. so many shenanigans in this fic

spreadsheet notes: they are both so stupid omg

["mi cotufita" started sharing their screen] by @omar-rudeberg | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 60k

so... this is a follow up to one of my favourite fics and it is a delight. very horny but also very sweet? and also for some reason there's porn. fun times! oh, and this fic made me cry. it really has the range

spreadsheet notes: how are they so horny it's so funnyyyyyy, but also if i were wille i could never look linda in the eyes again

A Light To Guide You In The Dark (Warmed By The Fire's Glow) by 80shairmetal | stranger things, harringrove | teen&up | 19k words

this is just... people taking care of each other out of the kindness of their hearts. finding comfort in strangers who become family. growing and helping each other. there's such a beauty to this one

spreadsheet notes: this is just..... comfort

did you see the love in my eyes, oh were you gazing through this disguise? by @tooindecisivetopickaurl | young royals, wilmon | mature | 67k words

fake dating my beloved. they're so in love with each other but they're pretending not to be while pretending... to be? i'm obsessed with them. but they're so respectful with each other and cautious of boundaries and they really are best friends who also happen to be obliviously in love

spreadsheet notes: love a good fake dating au they're so stupid i love them

flash like a setting sun by @playedwright | 911, buddie | explicit | 22k words

because you only realise you're in love with your best friend when you're scared you're losing him. that's the fic. and it's beautiful

spreadsheet notes: oh this is sooooo beautifully written and ugh just <333

Other people's secrets by @sflow-er | young royals, walty & wilmon | mature | 239k words

yooooo hello? so first off this is an outsider pov on wilmon which i am always obsessed with anyways but the focus isn't just on them, this is henry's story. it's a beautiful story about how friendships form and warp and change, how feelings manifest in different ways, how decisions and actions have consequences. it's an incredibly mature take on post-s1, and it's probably my favourite of the year. also ace representation!!!!

spreadsheet notes: ace henry my beloved <33 also love seeing wilmon from an outside perspective! such a good, well thought out fic with lots of healthy comminication <33

APRIL

if i stare too long by @brawlite & @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger | stranger things, harringroveson | explicit | 191k words

i haven't seen st s4 (and probably won't watch it) but that definitely won't stop me from reading harringroveson fic. i mean, who wouldn't look at those three and immediately want to see them together. the way their dynamic is written in this fic is peak, i don't even know what more to say. i also very much trust these authors with billy, and again i wasn't disappointed. there's just something in his head that's intriguing.

spreadsheet notes: this whole fic is such a vibe it makes me feel of hot summer chillin

MAY

Rewrite the Stars (series) by @in-amor-veritas | young royals, wilmon | mature | 137k words

definitely one of the highlights of the year, simon's whole life in new york... those scenes, they just show such a wonderful life simon has built for himself, and his relationship with wille doesn't change it, but he manages to fit in (after, you know, fun rom-com drama shenanigans). also. this is a kid fic. kid fics are my weak spot. rasmus is my new favourite little guy. also shoutout to luis best side character ever

spreadsheet notes: YELLING i love this fic sooo much it is everything

Where The Wind Will Carry Me by @1-life-to-give | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 49k words

AND THEY WERE ACTORS PLAYING LOVE INTERESTS. do i have to say more? the tension guys the TENSION. also erik's side-plot i'm in love

spreadsheet notes: hopping up and down like a hyperactive chihuahua EN I LOVE THIS

Your love is my turning page (the t4t wilmon as girldads au) (series) by @willesworld | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 17k words

i know i know another kid fic BUT!!!! t4t wilmon. makes it automatically superior. i'm not even kidding, add trans characters and i will like your fic (that i probably already like a lot) aroun 300000000 times more. but also this series comes for your feelings. it hits

spreadsheet notes: i am weak for t4t wilmon AND them having a biological child there's something so beautiful about it like that could be meeee ; siiimon i need to hug him and i need to hug wille they're gonna get out of this i prommy ; recovery and one step forwards a hundred steps back, but they made it there in the end ; they were so happy :((((

JUNE

A trace of dew by nuncflore | elden ring, this is too complicated | gen | 13k words

very elden ring-esque writing style, wonderful representation of whatever the hell is going on in the lore. hehehehehhe fucked up family ehhehehehe DIVORCE. my friends are so talented :))

spreadsheet notes: CAP I AM EATING YOU

Hanging from the Ceiling by @spicymiilk | spiderverse | teen&up | 6k words

for like. a week after i saw the new spiderverse movie i made miles 42 my entire life. that also meant reading this fic. and damn did this fic hit. i am still thinking about it

spreadsheet notes: i need more miles 42 content he is my favourite guy ever

The Darkest Little Paradise by @yourdemiurge | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 79k words

*holding you at gunpoint* read this fic. read it now, in this moment. you are not gonna regret it. believe me when i say you NEED this fic, you really do. doesn't even matter if you've seen yr or not. you're gonna thank me later

spreadsheet notes: THIS IS INSANE I CAN'T BREATHE MADY WHAT THE FUUUUUCK

JULY

Protected (series) by bastuba | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 69k words

hey do you ever read a fic and you just feel. so incredibly grounded because something about the characters feels grounded? like, they aren't grounded, but they still give off that vibe? idk how to explain this properly but that's this fic. also wille and simon cook together (i haven't read all parts of the series yet btw)

spreadsheet notes: incredibly grounded very mature how is wille like this ; i'd be like wille, always complaining about the heat ; they're soooooo. idiots. getting tattoos for each other ; i too would come out on a podcast about food ; SAFE SEX

AUGUST

The Season of Rebirth by @notalotgoingonatthisinstant | young royals, wilmon | mature | 30k words

part of a series, but i'm picking out this one specifically because it's soooo sweet!!! the title fits the fic so well, like yes it is the season of rebirth, but simon and wille's relationship is also rehashed in a very cool way, this fic is like one giant easter egg, i love it so much!

spreadsheet notes: wille taking the season of rebirth to recreate their early relationship, i am obsessed with him he's such a dumbass romantic

The Upgrade by @groenendaelfic | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 13k words

it's about the moment simon realises who wille is. that's why this fic is here. i mean of course also because it is very good, but mainly because of that moment

spreadsheet notes: the moment simon realised who wille is i am wheezing

Right Where You Left Me by @armandgender | spn, deancas | explicit | 94k words

if you're wondering why this fic is on my 2023 list instead of the 2022 list.... well that's because it took me almost a year to read the last chapter, and in terms of how my spreadsheet works, that makes it a fic i read in 2023. anyway. if you haven't read this fic yet, what are you even still doing here. click on that link right now. you want complex emotional situations? intricacies of ill-advised marriages? you wanna pick through abusive behaviour and encourage infidelity? well you're at the right place! also this has one of my favourite jack characterisations ever. it also made me go on multiple rants

spreadsheet notes: I FINALLY FINISHED IT AAAAHHHH I LOVE THIS FIC THE CABIN THE CATS JACK!!!!!

Alejito y Marimar (series) by th0ughts | red, white, and royal blue | teen&up | 18k words

OBSESSED WITH THIS DYNAMIC YOOOOOO. seriously the friendship between alex and martha is an expansion of the rwrb universe that is much needed, trust me

spreadsheet notes: the friendship i didn't know i needed in my life <333 ; they're just chillin!!!

SEPTEMBER

Change of Address (series) by hearmerory | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | mature | 134k words

okay. oooookay. strap in for this one, it is a lot. emotionally. like yes zuko is autistic, yes yes yeeees, i agree, also azula is treated like an actual person with actual mental issues, she deserves to be treated with care and this author definitely does that! this is the kind of series that makes me want to disappear in it, but it's also the kind of story i need breaks from, because it is so heavy (definitely check the tags for this one). zuko's relationship with sokka is written so thoughtfully and iroh is characterised incredibly and the author even included ursa in a way that didn't undermine everything that happened in the series before she appeared again. i can only recommend this one!

spreadsheet notes (there's lots of parts to the series, so this one is long): hhhh if i were ms jamieson i would have snapped after two days probably ; be nice katara!!!!! he's nervous ; i need to murder ozai ; and i need to murder zhao as well ; iroooohhhhh he should have just. taken the kids with him that first time he noticed something off ; yeah i think there was a reason why iroh never took zuko to the movies ; ozai needs to suffer ; i need to destroy ozai. violently and painfully ; iroh is the best uncle ever, zuko deserves all his kindness ; azula...... you don't have to fight for affection, it's not a competition..... they love you ; iroh should have taken her with him the first time around, she was like. 10, he could have just picked her up or sth ; ..... hakoda you idiot ; IROH BACKSTORY IROH BACKSTORY ; sokka and the plan that changed his life <3333 ; they are so soft with each other ; they all deserve all the therapy and support and yes sokka obviously you have adhd get with the program ; URSA??????? also i am living for sokka and azula's dynamic they are everything ; i don't. i don't understand her. i don't fucking understand her how could she not want her own children. how can she talk about them like that. like she knows them she doesn't know them she LEFT

Every night my teeth are falling out by @sulkybender | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | mature | 9k words

i was in need of some good zuko angst and oooohhh boy was i lucky to find this author. PEAK zuko angst. this fic in particular is very dear to me because it explores how mental illnesses would be handled in a world where there's practically no resources to help. i think we need that more

spreadsheet notes: yes well. how DO you deal with a schizophrenic fire lord in a fantasy world? (you stay with him and support him that is how)

OCTOBER

for years or for hours by @ghostinthelibrarywrites | the witcher, geralt/eskel/jaskier | explicit | 52k words

listennn i love myself some good polyamory fics, and this is the first fic i read for this ship and now i am OBSESSED with them. but this fic in particular.... the concept alone, like. what do you do when you thought the man you love was dead for 800 years, and then when he comes back you have another man you love. the answer is simple. polyamory. the two men you love also love each other. perfect coincidence.

spreadsheet notes: YO the concepts of witchers in modern times alone is sooo cool but adding in everything else? hello yes?

this is a love story by @achillestiel | supernatural, deancas | mature | 3k words

listen, i've never seen fleabag, but that's not the point. this is intriguing and funny, that's the point

spreadsheet notes: fucked up families and you want to fuck the priest hell yeah

The road not taken looks real good now by @stretchoutfics | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 90k words

it's not even the wilmon part i love about this fic (i very much enjoy it of course don't get me wrong) but wille and his kids. like, i don't want to spoil anything but like. wille's interactions with his kids are so important in this fic, and they're written so well. like, emilia is my favourite character in this, i kinda wish there was more with the kids honestly. this fic is definitely a highlight of the year, and to get back to wilmon, i do love how they're portrayed in this fic, how their dynamic plays out, and specifically how certain decisions do not depend on simon

spreadsheet notes: no but. the care put into this story. i can't--

NOVEMBER

Averno (series) by @sulkybender | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | mature | 12k words

a fascinating take on a fire lord zuko that was never part of the gaang

spreadsheet notes: HE JUST DESERVES KINDNESS but also he's a little fucked up WELL NO WONDER GIVE HIM KINDNESS ; i mean.... what makes a monster really ; well then let's get him out of his cell shall we (also hiiiii suki hello <3333)

Half Awake in Our Fake Empire by @hmslusitania | 9-1-1, buddie | teen&up | 34k words

another kid fic!!! but in a different fandom this time!!! seriously, giving buck a child fills so many of my life's needs it's ridiculous

spreadsheet notes: THEY'RE A FAMILY (thank you for giving that man a child)

a soldier (who carries a mighty sword) by @ghostinthelibrarywrites | the witcher, geralt/eskel/jaskier | explicit | 92k words

everything about this fic is wonderful!! the world(kaer morhen!!)building, the developing dynamic between geralt, jask, and eskel, ciri and yenn, the conflict, jask as a teacher!!!! aaahhhhh!

spreadsheet notes: they're my new favourite guyssss this whole fic is so cool, what they've done with kaer morhen <3333

Will We Last the Night by CSHfic & VSfic | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | teen&up | 143k words

this fic asks what if sokka had been stuck with zuko since the end of s1 and delivers a delightful answer. this is the adventures of zuko and sokka (and sometimes iroh) travelling through the earth kingdom. shenanigans ensue

spreadsheet notes: i am obsessed with this i'm just. i know it was only shortly but their life in ba sing se. obsessed

DECEMBER

Grudge Match by @catcas22 | elden ring | gen | 17k words

i'm not entirely sure how to explain this. it sure is an elden ring fic

spreadsheet notes: i don't even know what to say. this is ridiculous and brilliant and stupid and genius all at the same time. hell yeah suburban demigods

Lonely Digging by @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger | stranger things, harringrove | teen&up | 3k words

this is hilarious. go read it to unlock intense life-threatening flirting

spreadsheet notes: best way to flirt billy's doing everything right

***

(quick note: i’ve tried to find everyone’s tumblr handle, but i’m aware that not all the authors have tumblr/have it on their ao3, however if i somehow missed someone, i can go back and rectify that!)

if you’ve made it all the way down here i am giving you a kiss <3

[izar-tarazed]

Welcome!

What this is: This blog is mostly dedicated to my Elden Ring OC Izar (and well, her companion Ensha – more about them below). There might also be other content (other games, DnD 5e, writing) unless I’ll feel the need to create specific sideblogs for that (unlikely, I lack the energy).

What I do: I’ll mostly share screenshots, headcanons, storytelling, and writing snippets. (Here's my tag list!) While this is not a pure RP blog I very much enjoy RPing, so feel free to shoot me a prompt/starter whenever you like! (For more information regarding RP, flip through the Stargazer's Cookbook over here!)

Who I am: I usually go by Malinche; over 30, she/her, living in Europe. Not a native English speaker, so bear with me if I say strange things. Expect occasional ramblings about the glory of freelance life, and know that there is never enough coffee.

Izar Tarazed, Tarnished Astrologer

Izar barely remembers anything from the time before her awakening in the Lands Between – just her name and what she knew of the stars. However, the stars above the Lands Between are different, their lore mostly lost to her, so she gathers stories and bits of information wherever she can.

Her most treasured possessions are her telescope and her map-making tools.

Whenever she gets the chance, Izar will sit and work on her celestial maps, preferably beneath the golden light of grace, trying to figure out constellations and their possible meanings. Working on her maps also calms her down and helps her focus.

She’s often more driven by her astrological curiosity than by the ambition to become Elden Lord – she’ll confront Rennala mainly because she wants access to the library of Raya Lucaria, and Radahn because she wishes to set the stars back in motion.

Izar relies mostly on her sorceries – the Comet and Night Comet are her favorites – and only starts improving her skills with melee weapons and a shield when Ensha insists on teaching her.

Personality

Izar is a little geek when it comes to astrology and will talk about it with neverending enthusiasm. At a new place, its (potential) view of the night sky is usually the first thing she’ll check.

She values the friendships and alliances she makes, being protective of those she cares about; that might be both her greatest strength and her greatest weakness.

Upon meeting someone for the first time, she'll rather be calm and cautious, but much more confident, cheeky and bubbly once she feels comfortable.

The fact that she doesn’t remember who she was before bothers her more than she lets on.

Izar soon realizes that she isn't as ambitious about taking the Elden Throne as she maybe should be. Her true dream is running the Academy of Raya Lucaria and turning it into a welcoming place where knowledge is not hoarded but shared.

When upset, she can be pretty defiant, sarcastic and snappy.

Sir, That’s My Emotional Support Skeleton

Izar spares Ensha’s life when he attacks her at the Roundtable Hold.

This leads to them being sent out on a mission together to track down Latenna (which, of course, doesn’t go as planned). While they start out deeply suspicious of each other, teaming up only reluctantly, they eventually come to trust each other and, despite some challenges, become close friends, which leads to certain tensions considering his loyalty to Sir Gideon.

(I’m not entirely sure what Ensha is, but I’m leaning way more into the headcanons of the somehow animated armor/actual skeleton with some kind of relation to the ancient king mentioned in the description of the Royal Remains set, rather than just being some guy with a skull mask.)

Ensha will often travel with Izar, having her back and finding picturesque dungeon walls to lean against and ponder how on earth this careless astrologer can still be alive. (He's exaggerating, of course. Izar can definitely handle herself ... most of the time.)

Ensha tends to be more wary of others than Izar is. He's extremely perceptive and quite good at reading people (and finding things). He often encourages Izar to put in the work to improve her skills, and be more disciplined about her goals. However, he's also surprisingly fine with engaging in all kinds of mischievous shenanigans with her.

Since Ensha doesn’t speak, their communication process is a little rocky at first but improves once Izar gets better (and eventually good) at understanding his sign language. From then on, they'll often have some partially silent banter going on, and are able to communicate subtly if the situation calls for it.

Izar is also able to sense Ensha's emotions to a certain extent (more on that headcanon here).

[styrmwb]

I beat Persona 5 Royal

aaaaaaa AAAAAAAA a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a

a

Knocking another game off the list of games I should have played a long time ago, and this one is just... so so so so good. Ever since I booted it up I was absolutely absorbed into the game the entire way through. I don't think I really had Persona in my sight until Joker was announced for Smash a while back, and then this game was always like "I really need to at least interact with it like I have every other character in Smash", but that obviously took a while. I am glad I waited though, cause from what I've heard, Royal is just objectively the better experience. For what is my first entry into the series, it completely hooked me and I am in for the rest (and also SMT but that's later)

Gameplay

Turn! Based! RPG! Of course I'm gonna fucking like it I love turn based RPGs. But like actual shit, there's two aspects to this game and I love them both.

Battling/Hanging out in the Metaverse is very fun. All turn based needs to really pop off in the modern day is fun options, and I feel as though I am given that. Baton passing alone is all I really needed, as it makes me think of the optimal order to take down each enemy for the best result. I absolutely loved the magical elements used. Like yeah you got the classic Fire, Ice, Wind, Electricity, but then you also got fucking Psy, Bless, Curse, and my new favorite of all time Nuke???? I love Nuke so much it's such a cool concept! They each have like, their own unmentioned counters/duos which is super cool! Also Almighty goes incredibly hard. Then you add on the buffs and debuffs. I FREQUENTLY used all of them and felt like they were critical to fights which is awesome. Combine these two for technicals, certain statuses making a weakness when hit with certain elements, it's just such a joy and it makes battles where I can actively use all of these something I look forward to (and then when you have a stupid bullshit fight and your name is Okumura, I hate you forever and I'm going to date your daughter in revenge, FUCK that fight eternally it was the only boss I actively disliked).

The other half of the game is your slice of life student simulator. The other half of the game is also like crack, and I swear they put demons in the game cause something would possess me whenever I got to roam the world. Despite the limited clock, I relished managing my time. I loved thinking of who to spend my time with, when to focus on skills rather than confidants, how to optimize my Mementos trips, knocking out an entire Palace all at once so I could have maximum time for the rest of the month, it was so addictive! It really came to a head in the Royal Third Semester section where I literally created saves and calculated if I had enough time to do everything I wanted to, and finished it on Literally the last free day. Also, when like 75% of your game is writing, it helps when the writing is good, and I absolutely loved reading everything, but maybe I'll talk about that more later.

Last bit that I'm gonna expand on why I love more later, but I was NOT expecting this game to be a monster collector. Regardless, I loved the flow of collecting new guys, then seeing what I could fuse together to obtain.

Characters

I! Love! This! Cast! I love them to the bottom of my heart! The best way to make me love an RPG is by making me care about the core group to the bottom of my heart and I do. When I write these, I mean the tag of game ramblings literally cause this is all just stream of thought, so I have a feeling this is gonna be the longest section. Sorry in advance.

The Phantom Thieves of Hearts is a name that goes incredibly hard (and I wish they didn't make me name the group separately cause I just stuck with the default anyways (I'm a default daniel)), and a group that I hope keeps their group chat open for the rest of their lives and is always friends.

Ryuji is my fucking BOY. I don't care if he's an idiot and needs to keep his damn mouth shut sometimes, I'm ride or die with that dude for life. I thought his backstory as a former track star now dealing with his physical disability and ruined record was really interesting, and added an extra layer to the usual delinquent + stupid best friend energy. In battles, I would bring him in when I needed to smash shit, cause he does that Very well. Captain Kidd is a sick design and namesake, and I really wish I could have kept the basic design.

Morgana :) kitty (despite what he says). I'll admit, he's not my Favorite of the bunch (this does not mean he is bad! B tier is still good, but it is ultimately below A and S!) as his bits of I'm NOT A CAT and Lady Ann~ didn't really hit it for me, and I didn't usually use him in battles, as Joker tended to take over the wind damage role (although I always used him for healing outside, or in harder battles), but I cannot deny that he's a very good companion. It was nice to have your little buddy always by your side. He's with you when you're playing games. He's cheering you on while you eat a big burger. He lays on top of you at night like a cat is best at doing and he confides his secrets in you. I get why he had his moment of weakness and insecurity, but if that was me in there, I'd be giving Morgana as much love and appreciation as I could.

Ann is so strong, both story wise and game wise. Seeing her rise up against the constant bullshit she has to deal with, from the teacher, her best friend's struggles, and other models, was inspiring, and I rooted for her constantly. I essentially always had her in battle, with the magic SP usage down passive, her fire damage being usually relevant, and her buffs/debuffs being Very useful. Ann was the goat in the whole playthrough. I almost chose her as the romance but sadly I held out and was rewarded for doing so. Also, her third awakening Persona SLAPS

Yusuke is... probably my least favorite member of the group. Again, not bad. Not hated. Just least favorite. I rarely ever used him in battle, but his up to evasion did very much come in clutch. I couldn't really mesh with his love for the arts, but that's mainly on me over the actual writing of the character I think. I did, however, really appreciate the fact that he was clearly struggling in life and had a group to back him up. I also quite enjoyed his literal starving artist shtick. Poor guy, let him eat the sushi and have more than sugar water and slice of toast for dinner.

Makoto is amazing. Such a sudden turn around from stuck up student president to the MVP of the group. Her design is so cool, I loved the biker aesthetic, the fist weapons, the fucking motorcycle! Her role as someone to bring thoughts and logic to the group, as well as the connection to an "antagonist" with her relation to Sae was very needed. I wish her confidant storyline focused a little more on her, but that's ok. The girl's an absolute badass, and a joy to have in the group. She was another essential part of the team, usually being my team buffer, but also nuke damage is goated (again it's like, my favorite element in this game). Plus both of her showtimes are amazing lmao

Futaba is my little sister, and deserves a hug. Her palace is absolutely heartbreaking, and it is something that makes me so so glad to see what happens to her afterward. Seeing her grow from a severely traumatized teen wanting to die to someone that enjoys and loves life and her friends makes me so happy. She didn't deserve ANYTHING that happened to her. Gameplay wise, once I started to get her levels up and max her confidant, she absolutely came in clutch, and somehow always consistently gave me whatever support I needed. I also quite enjoyed her constant nerd references that came really close to lawsuits (she straight up said gym leader)

Haru :) <3 I love Haru. The moment I saw her, acting like a dramatic masked hero, and then she fuckin pulls out an axe and grenade launcher, it was over. I've seen a lot of people lamenting her screen time, and while I do wish she got more, it certainly didn't stop me from enjoying her character (although maybe Royal helps that?). She's sweet, silly, caring, soft, and somehow brutal. Like Kirby in human form. I feel like she really got it rough out of the party, her dad getting assassinated, and still having to deal with the burdens of a company, but she still made it through. She's the best. Gameplay, I feel like she very much came in clutch with her Psy affinity constantly comboing for technicals, and her reflect spells protecting Joker from dying. Fuck you Okumura and the stupid fiancee you picked I'M GONNA GIVE HARU THE BEST LIFE EVER TO SPITE YOU

Akechi is interesting. The moment I see this fucker, my brain connects him to Light from Death Note. I'm constantly waiting for him to hit his villain arc. Then he joins the party, and I'm surprised! Oh shit, that's the second big rpg I've played this year that has a surprise party member I didn't know about! How cool :) Then pancakes happen, and I realize the game sucker punched me into forgetting that THE DUDE WAS SUS AS FUCK FROM THE START THE BASTARD! I really enjoyed him in the third semester though. Completely dropping the act, and powering through full of anger and spite regardless of his inevitable fate. Akechi is a cool character. I didn't use him much in battle, but he was great for big physical/gun numbers. Also Loki is a sick ass Persona.

Then the last member, Sumire. i do feel like she felt... a little forced in? Like I could definitely tell she was extra Royal content. I wish she had more scenes with the group, and longer playability. Regardless though, I still enjoyed her character. A story of someone dealing with self-esteem and aspirations of death really hits close to home, and I loved seeing her accept herself, still walk forward in life, and thrive, finding a group she belongs in. I can't say much gameplay wise cause she just wasn't there for long, but her big physical moves were very appreciated in the final battle.

Now everyone else. The other confidants were very enjoyable. Sojiro is like, EASILY the best one out of the whole group. He's my actual literal dad, and I wish Joker could have stayed with him cause fuck his real parents, if no one got me I know Sojiro got me! I also really enjoyed Iwai I'm just a sucker for dad type characters. While I don't really fuck with the whole maid-master shit, I did still really like Kawakami too. The only one I didn't really care for was Ohya. I just like... couldn't lock in with her or her story line (we love Lala though!) Everyone else, even Shinya, I wanted to see through their story, and was excited for each bit I got. (Shoutouts to Yoshida, the ONLY good politician. This is how you can tell this is a fictional game)

The villains as I look back, aren't exactly the peak of characters compared to most of the list, but they were still enjoyable. Kamoshida was the perfect introduction, an absolute scumbag the game made sure you would hate, and someone that set the tone for me of what the rest of the game would look like. Like, once I noticed the middle name of his boss fight being one of the princes of hell, I got really excited. Madarame and Kaneshiro were fine, I more appreciated what they served narratively over their actual characters. Okumura is a piece of shit and I hate him forever (but jokes aside there was something very cathartic about a game presenting a CEO as a cartoonishly evil pile of garbage), and Shido I felt was a nice way to tie everyone together, having connections to everyone from the start. I can't really call Sae a villain per se, but I will put her here anyways. I thought her palace was super cool, and her turn from antagonist to support was appreciated. Yaldabaoth I think was a cool reveal character, and an awesome classic JRPG ending, but overall I think I appreciated Shido more.

Now since this is Royal, the real MVP is Maruki. I love this dude. I appreciated him at the start, a therapist character I feel like, isn't something super common? I loved how much it seemed like he genuinely cared about people. And that was his whole deal, even to the end. He wasn't a bad guy, he honest to god cared about people. Like yeah, he wasn't doing anything the right way, and even his outfit being like a bishop or a pope showed that he was Not there mentally, but he was such a cool character. A hurt and sad man who lost too much, wanting to prevent others from feeling the same way. I think he especially makes me appreciate how the Phantom Thieves' methods don't kill, because it gave him a semi happy ending. Now, I think I've rambled about characters long enough, but again, I did really enjoy this whole cast.

Story

I think the fact that I played this game at this time in my life rather than when it came out is nothing but a benefit, because the story of a group of people hurt by society fighting back against the shitheads and taking down the corrupt really hits different (although it does have a bit of an FFVII effect where the mass popularity and marketing of the game kinda goes against the original message, I can't help but think of the possible Okumura or Kaneshiro in the background). But regardless. I was locked in the whole way through. Most of my love for the writing of this game comes with the characters and their interactions and stories, but that major theming of rebellion, fighting for the people, just sits well in my heart.

Like I mentioned before, this was my first Persona game. It also feels weird to like, Say this, but I am a big fan of Jojo as well, Part 4 being my favorite. Persona hits that same itch, that slice of life setting, a group of high schoolers having fun, enjoying their life, but also fighting against the people harming their city and way of life. It's like, a venn diagram that's a circle (I've heard 4 is even more similar and I'm looking forward to playing that next).

The writing felt very modern, like whoever was behind it was in tune with what they were portraying. The dialogue, the subjects, things that felt real, even if they were caricatured or something like that, I could see that this was a real world, and I really appreciated that.

The Look. The Vibe.

Holy fuck this game is aesthetic incarnate. The style imbued into every single pixel; the menus, the transitions, the bits where the model of like Joker, or Iwai, or Takemi moving around; the ransom letter aesthetic with the flat colors and everything MY GOD it's such a good looking game!

The music is an essential part of this as well. There's a joke I've seen occasionally (it might just be exclusive to a community I'm in but I could be wrong) that Persona 5 invented jazz, and I'd believe it honestly. The soundtrack feels like, perfect background music. It's usually not the Highlight of the scene (save for any vocal track stealing the show), but it's ALWAYS the enhancer of any moment. I can feel the stress of battle, I can feel the chill vibes of a rainy day, I get hyped when we're stealing a treasure, etc.

This game is an A+ class example of style, making any activity you're doing enjoyable.

Hoo Boy.

I mean. Fuck. I don't think I've felt this entranced by a game in a good while. VII Rebirth was up there for sure, but something about Persona just felt addicting.

Something I really really really loved about this game that I couldn't quite fit anywhere else, but makes me super excited to check out the rest of the series, is the usage of mythology. Mythology is sick as fuck. But what really got me hooked, is how EVERY sort of mythology was used. You got your classic Greek and Egyptian. You have plenty of Japanese Yokai, but then you also have gods and monsters from like... things that people still actively worship??? From religions that are in my head as "religion" and not "mythology". Seeing angels and demons from Abrahamic religions, Hinduism, Buddhism, and even seeing some old Zoroastrianism in there? Also like, to bring it back to the start, using mythical creatures from everywhere! I saw European monsters, Celtic creatures, American cryptids, the whole thing was so cool! This alone is a huge part of what made me addicted to this game. I wanted to keep seeing just where they would pull inspiration from, and I was constantly surprised and overjoyed, reading the backgrounds for everything, and going to look up where some of them came from, trying to guess what else would be next. I genuinely cannot wait to play more Persona and later Shin Megami Tensei to get more of this kind of stuff, but also I think I need to take a break so I don't get burned out hahaha

I loved my time playing this game. I can see why it's so loved. Sure, there were a couple things that I wish hit my heart or I connected to a little more, but overall I am very satisfied with my experience.

9.7/10. Great characters, great concept, amazing style and super cool inspiration. Some things just needed a little extra to really hit home for me for a perfect 10, but still an experience that will stick with me.

[o0anapher0o]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for tagging me @meraki-yao. I am very happy at the oportunity to shamelessly plug many, many of my fics :D Let’s do this!

How many works do you have on ao3?

47

What?! When did that happen? And how?

What’s your total ao3 word count?

502,199

Weirdly less surprising, even thought hat number is completely unreal.

What fandoms do you write for?

Interview with the vampire (2022)

Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries

Red White and Royal Blue

Star trek: Deep Space Nine

And I have one teeny tiny Thunderbirds fic

Top 5 fics by kudos

Somewhere I have never travelled (ds9)

Petal by Petal (ds9)

Your most frail gesture (ds9)  

Watch that man (rwrb)

Personality (ds9)

I feel like I should count the first three as one, since it’s literally parts 1, 2 and 3 of a trilogy.

Surprising how fast my first rwrb fic got up there.

Do you respond to comments?

Always, usually a bit rambly. I love talking to people about my writing :D

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Puh, that’s a hard one. I’m such a happy endings girl. My instinct was one of my iwtv fics, but they’re more angry than angsty lol, so I’m saying it’s between Of all untruths the truest is you (iwtv) and Do no harm (ds9)

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Your most frail gesture ends with a wedding, though actually I like the accepted proposal in Petal by Petal more.

Do you get hate on fics?

None so far (knock on wood).

Do you write smut?

No. A lot of my fics make it clear sex is happing but I don’t write it and I haven’t really any urge to.

Craziest crossover

My TayNick character crossover New Information. Also my only crossover so far, but that’s a side note.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. Hopefully having all my stuff archivelocked will keep it that way.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

YES! Someone did a translation of Do no harm into Russian. Only one of the coolest things that ever happened to me (though I would have preferred to be asked beforehand rather than simply be presented with a link).

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. I’m not entirely sure how that would work, but I’d be open to it.

All time favourite ship?

Why do people insist you have to have one favourite over everything else? No, I’m an adult, I can have as many OTPs as I want.

What’s a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Beneath Lucifer’s claws. I love this story so much, but I have it in me to finish it. I also have an old ATLA fic I love to bits, that has really neat bits but I was such a different person when I wrote it, it would need a complete rewrite and half of my favourite scenes don’t really work anymore.

What are your writing strengths?

I’ve been told my pacing is good. And I think I’m quite good at characters voices right when it comes to fanfic.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Punctuation. And I definitely suffer from ‘why use a period when I can use a comma’ disease XD. Scene transitions always feel clumsy to me, I don’t know if they read like it.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Oh, there’s an essay. If I were to give general advice I’d say, avoid it. It’s fun to read when you speak the language and annoying if you don’t, having to look up stuff all the time interrupts the reading flow. It’s even more annoying when you speak the language and the author clearly didn’t.

I’ve seen it done well once, where it was used so the characters couldexchange information because that was the natural thing to do for them, while keeping it a secret from the reader. That was neat. 'But even that could be done by just saying 'he said something in [language]'.

First fandom you wrote in?

Published or not? My first published fic was Jack’s Desk for mfmm. But I also still have fifteen year old supernatural and vampire diaries fics in a notebook somewhere. The world wasn’t ready yet.

Favourite fic you’ve written?

Something unstoppable and Somewhere I have never travelled. Neither of them came out the way I thought they would but I love how they ended up so much.

tagging @sapphosewrites @xenobotanist and @nalyra-dreaming

[liangxinn]

untitled fantasy/royalty AU

For someone who supposedly doesn't care much for writing royalty AUs, I sure have a lot of them in my WIPs... including a King's Maker AU which I really really want to see through to the end ><

Anyway, I found this abandoned draft for a different fandom from 2019. Looking back at my writing from 4 years ago sure was an Experience, but I didn't want to immediately throw up at least, so I consulted the oracle (Twitter) and decided to tidy up a little excerpt as a SVT/Minwon fic. Here's the basic gist:

Elven princes Mingyu and Seungcheol are shocked to discover that their late father has named Mingyu his heir instead of Seungcheol, the eldest

Newly appointed captain of the royal guard Wonwoo is assigned to protect Mingyu (spoiler: they do not like each other lol)

To avoid taking the throne, Mingyu pledges himself to the god of the hunt, joins a band of hunters (I'm thinking performance unit), and leaves for six years

He returns to the kingdom when a mysterious affliction sweeps the land, turning the people into demon-like monsters, and has to work with Wonwoo to investigate...

I actually have the entire story plotted out, and I am more than happy to answer any questions if anyone's curious to know more! You can find 3.2k of one of the early chapters, mostly unchanged from the original draft, below the cut ^^

//

Mingyu's sleep is fitful, leaving him tossing and turning and tormented with snippets of strange dreams.

He walks for an age along the secret corridor, only for it to lead him to his father's room when he exits through the trapdoor. Just the sight of it, unopened since the king's death, stirs up a sick feeling in Mingyu's stomach. He doesn't know what possesses him to press his palm against the wood, only that it feels like fire trying to burn the skin from his hand. Of its own volition, his other hand drifts up as well, and he watches, entranced.

Mingyu pushes lightly against the door, hears the snap of splintering wood. A voice escapes through the cracks like scalding steam, and he pushes harder. His father's sharp words rush back to him from weeks, months, years long past. A heavy ache settles over his body, throbbing dully in the places where he could not be forced into the mould they made for Seungcheol. Pain lances across his cheek, but whether it's from the flames or a blow meant for his brother, he can't tell. The door collapses beneath the pressure, and he disappears into the flames.

He wakes, gasping, and sleep claims him again.

At a coronation, a crown is placed upon Mingyu's head, so heavy that it threatens to crush him. Hundreds of eyes bore into his flesh, picking like crows at every part of him they can reach, ripping him apart with their scrutiny. His own eyes dart around frantically and land upon Queen Consort Hyeyoung only to find a cold, insincere smile. Seungcheol is somewhere among them, flashing in and out of sight.

Mingyu tears the crown away in repulsion. When he hurls it to the ground at his feet, it shatters as if it were made of glass instead of precious metals. A moment passes, then the crowd erupts into raucous sound. He has displeased them. They surge upwards from their seats in a writhing, screaming mass. They call for his head. They call for his blood to be spilled.

He wakes, feels the prickle of those eyes on him, and shudders.

By now, the sun has begun to rise, throwing weak light into the room. Mingyu had gotten just a couple hours of sleep at the most. His body struggles against him, forcing his eyelids to droop and demanding more time to rest. Just as he's about to succumb, a sharp rap on the door seizes his attention.

Mingyu knows exactly who it is when the person enters before he even has the chance to respond. His brother slips into the room with those distinctive footsteps of his, dark eyes alight with excitement and the corner of his mouth curled upwards in amusement. He perches on the edge of the bed, yanking the covers away when Mingyu tries to bury himself underneath.

"You got caught last night," Seungcheol says, mirth laced in his tone. Mingyu rolls over to throw a glare in his direction.

"Good morning to you, too."

"Was it him? That Captain Jeon?"

Mingyu scowls at the mention of Wonwoo, having forgotten his existence momentarily. Seungcheol takes his stubborn silence as confirmation. In a more serious voice, he asks if Wonwoo found out about the passageway. Mingyu mulls it over for a moment before deciding that Wonwoo shouldn't have been able to figure out how he left castle grounds. He must've traced his path by some other means.

"I have a guard, too," Seungcheol sighs, flopping back onto the bed and across Mingyu's legs, ignoring his squawk of protest. "His name is Vernon. He's quiet, but he seems like a good kid. Must be capable if he became a guard at his age. He thinks quite highly of Captain Jeon."

"Good for them," Mingyu remarks sarcastically before he can bite it back. He shoves his face into a pillow to avoid the intrigued look Seungcheol sends his way.

"What, don't you like him? He was pleasant enough when I met him. Surely you've heard that he's the youngest captain in the history of the royal guard."

Mingyu refuses to answer. There is silence for a long moment, which borders on suspicious, then Seungcheol says in a sage-like, all-knowing tone, "Oh, I see. You fucked him."

Mingyu's expression cycles between outrage and disbelief before deciding to settle on embarrassment, to his dismay.

"Hyung!" he hisses, springing upright to hurl a pillow at his brother's head and shoot a look at the door as if Wonwoo could hear them from outside. Seungcheol blocks the pillow with ease, the sound of his delighted cackling quelling Mingyu's outburst. There hasn't been very much to laugh at as of late.

"There's no need to be embarrassed, Gyu-yah. Come to think of it, he's exactly your type-"

"I did nothing of the sort and I have no desire to!" Mingyu fumes, even as a giggle of his own threatens to escape him. He's painfully aware of the incriminating heat rising to his cheeks and ears, but he can't help the smile that tugs at his mouth. The roguish grin he receives in return is more than worth it.

Seungcheol has been run so thin lately, what with the burden of kingship dumped upon him in such an abrupt manner. And now, it may turn out that all of his efforts over the years were for naught. Mingyu reflects on what the queen consort told him last night, and dread fills his stomach at the very thought of having to take the crown. The vision of the coronation from his dreams flits to the front of his mind.

"How have you been, Mingyu?" Seungcheol asks softly as he pulls the pillow onto his lap and rests his hands atop it.

"Hyung," Mingyu begins with a heavy sigh, "did you know about the will?"

Seungcheol's gaze slides away. "Yes. I saw it the day before it was posted in the city centre."

"I don't blame you for keeping it from me, but how are you... alright with this?"

"The king's will is law, Mingyu-yah. I know this, and so do you."

"It doesn't make sense! Why would he name me his successor over you? He barely acknowledged my existence for twenty years and yet he left the entire kingdom to me? I don't believe it. I cannot believe it."

"Father took his reasons with him to the grave," Seungcheol says with grim resignation. "The only thing that we can do is follow his wishes."

"It should be you, hyung. It was always meant to be you. I'm not worthy," Mingyu finishes with a miserable sigh.

"I thought you would say something like that. But honestly speaking, I think you're just as capable of being a leader. Don't be so quick to undermine your skills."

Though Mingyu knows that Seungcheol is trying to be reassuring, he can't help but think that his brother sounds just like Queen Consort Hyeyoung. A product of her teachings, he supposes.

At Mingyu's skeptical raised eyebrow, Seungcheol gives his shoulder a light squeeze as a comforting gesture. "We'll figure something out. I'll still be here to help as much as I can."

Regardless of Mingyu's faith in his ability to lead the entirety of the kingdom, it simply isn't right for him to take the crown. Not when Seungcheol is the eldest, not when he has spent much of his life preparing for the inevitable day of their father's death. Despite having no choice but to take up the role of heir, Seungcheol has a true interest in the responsibilities of kingship. The life of a king has never appealed to Mingyu in the same way.

Seungcheol rises to his feet, tossing his pillow lightly at Mingyu's face and startling him from his thoughts. "Get dressed. Let's go to breakfast."

"Don't want to," Mingyu whines in response. "Can't we stay in here?"

It's definitely not because he doesn't want to face Wonwoo and be reminded of his wounded pride. Not at all. He's simply too tired to go all the way down to the dining hall and he'd much rather have breakfast in his room without having to take a single step outside, where Wonwoo is standing right now-

Mingyu yelps as the pillow makes contact with his face for a second time, more forcefully than the last. In his serious, all-business voice, Seungcheol insists that he comes down to have breakfast with Queen Consort Hyeyoung, so Mingyu acquiesces with a grumble.

"Choi Seungcheol, you are the rudest elf I have ever had the misfortune of meeting." 

"I know you love me, dearest brother."

Mingyu's exaggerated eye roll threatens to earn him a third smack with the pillow, so he leaps out of bed under the pretence of getting dressed and shoos Seungcheol out of his room. After he's cleaned himself up and made an attempt at taming the bird's nest that is his hair, Mingyu scrutinises his reflection with a critical eye.

He's visibly tired, his under eyes stamped with dark half-moons. His mouth is set in a displeased line, his shoulders are hunched, and his eyes are too full of worries. The image staring back at him doesn't look at all like a king, not even when he tries to picture a crown on his head. Its phantom weight pushes his head down, forcing him to break his gaze from his tired reflection.

Seungcheol always resembled their father more, anyway.

//

Breakfast is doomed to be a sombre affair as soon as Mingyu and Seungcheol enter the hall, followed closely by Wonwoo and Vernon. They slide into their seats across from Queen Consort Hyeyoung under the sympathetic eyes of the staff present, and Mingyu resists the urge to steal a sideways glance at his father's empty place at the head of the table. He almost prefers it this way.

The last time they all had breakfast together must've been at least four years ago, when Mingyu and Seungcheol were only sixteen. He barely remembers what it was like, though it isn't a particularly fond memory to begin with. It was around that time Mingyu took to having his morning meal alone in his room or the gardens. Immersed in his studies, Seungcheol wouldn't even come to eat sometimes either.

When Queen Consort Hyeyoung greets them, her slight smile doesn't quite reach her tired eyes. Mingyu meets her gaze, and the knowing look he finds there is enough to make him break eye contact to stare at his plate. A welcome distraction comes in the form of food brought out by the kitchen staff, who he thanks courteously.

Queen Consort Hyeyoung and Seungcheol begin to discuss an upcoming trade meeting with one of the western nations, so Mingyu helps himself to a roll still warm from the oven. After a liberal application of butter and honey scented like the local flowers, he bites into the soft bread, relishing the satisfying sweetness. Honey spills over his fingers and threatens to turn into a sticky mess. Perhaps he was a little too generous.

"Prince Mingyu," Queen Consort Hyeyoung calls to him. "What do you plan to do today?"

Before he even has the chance to open his mouth to respond, Mingyu feels a shift in the air, something odd that makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up. And before he even has the chance to even furrow his brow in suspicion, it happens.

The sound of shattering glass pierces the air, followed by a soft thud. The razor sharp tip of an arrow impales an orange perched precariously at the top of the fruit bowl, sending it flying off the edge of the table. Mingyu tracks it with his eyes as it rolls in a wobbly line to stop at Wonwoo's feet. A note written in black ink is tied to the shaft of the arrow like a mockery of a white flag.

A violent chill races down Mingyu's spine when he realises that the arrow had flown straight through the space between his and Seungcheol's heads. There had barely been a beat between the moment that he'd felt it twist the palace magic and the point of impact. He would've been dead before his mind even processed the window shattering.

After the last shards of glass have settled, the dining hall is silent. No one dares to move an inch, all eyes glued to the arrow which interrupted their morning meal. Slowly, carefully, with tension lining his body, Wonwoo leans down to pluck the arrow free and straighten out the message. Mingyu can see that his jaw is clenched, his knuckles pale with the intensity of his grip.

"I will come for what I am owed," Wonwoo reads out in a grim tone. His eyes flicker to Mingyu, then Seungcheol.

A murmur erupts throughout the room, pulsing in waves of concern. To their credit, none of the staff panic or dissolve into hysterics, though the palpable tension sits heavily on Mingyu's shoulders. He shares a sideways glance with Seungcheol as Queen Consort Hyeyoung says in a dangerously calm and even tone, "A perimeter search, if you will, Captain Jeon."

Wonwoo strides out of the room with a curt nod, still clutching the arrow in his hand. The remaining guards band closer towards the three of them left sitting frozen at the table. It makes Mingyu's chest constrict with snake-like fear, the kind that suffocates hope. Such a blatant threat, a direct attack. Mingyu and Seungcheol aren't the only ones left of the royal bloodline but they're certainly aware now of the bright red targets stamped upon their backs.

Queen Consort Hyeyoung clears her throat pointedly, and the maids, startled into action, bustle about using spells to gather the broken glass shards and dispose of them safely. A shield is put up across the empty frame in the meantime. The arrow must've been enchanted to break the protection on the window, powerful magic to counter the intensive safety measures woven into every single brick of the palace. It will take some time before a replacement is ready.

"Who would dare do something as bold as this?" Seungcheol asks in a low voice as Queen Consort Hyeyoung speaks to the guards. There's something almost like incredulity in his tone.

"I don't think they were acting alone," Mingyu murmurs back.

"Sounds like it has something to do with Father."

All this talk of an assassination plot has sapped Mingyu of his good mood, filling him with anxiety instead. But still he wonders, why? Whoever it was had both the resources and the opportunity to kill either of them in that moment, perhaps even both. So why go to the trouble of revealing themselves and their intentions in such a brazen manner?

Mingyu casts his gaze down at his half-eaten roll, regretful now that his appetite has entirely vanished. The honey has soaked into the bread and formed a golden sheen, but not even that enticing colour is enough to assuage the sick feeling in his stomach. He nudges the plate away with some reluctance.

"As I was saying," Queen Consort Hyeyoung begins in a slightly tense tone. "Prince Mingyu, what are your plans for the day?"

"I was... actually hoping to visit the city centre."

"Absolutely not."

Mingyu cannot say he wasn't expecting to get shot down immediately, but it does nothing to quell his disappointment. His dismay only deepens when Queen Consort Hyeyoung contemplates a total lockdown of the palace until the threat has been eliminated. If there's one thing he hates, it's being confined. The urge to protest is too compelling to push aside.

"My lady, we're playing right into their hands. Whoever was behind his, they want to create fear-"

"Prince Mingyu. Your safety is no trivial matter."

"I refuse to be afraid," Mingyu insists, all too aware of how stubborn he sounds, how he's playing a dangerous game with the line that marks defiance. "I will not stay shut up in the palace and wait for someone to kill me."

The warning Seungcheol gives him in the form of a kick under the table reminds him to keep his tongue in check, though he doesn't pay it much mind after that. He's not ready to back down on this just yet. Queen Consort Hyeyoung shows no indication of her thoughts except for a slight, almost imperceptible, flaring of her nostrils.

"Very well," she begins in a steely tone. "I don't doubt that you can take care of yourself, Prince Mingyu. But Captain Jeon will accompany you at all times, and I want a tracking spell bound to you."

Dissatisfied with these conditions, Mingyu clenches his jaw. He loathes the thought of being monitored at every step, but he recognises the immense leniency Queen Consort Hyeyoung is showing in allowing him out of the palace in the first place.

"Of course, my lady," Mingyu concedes quietly as he bows his head in respect. He's given a sunset curfew which he agrees to without any resistance; the idea of being out at night with a potential assassin in their midst is none too appealing. At that moment, Wonwoo returns with a steely expression.

"We weren't able to find anyone, Your Majesty," he reports, his deep voice tinged with frustration. "But we did catch a faint trace of magic. I've got someone looking into it."

"Thank you, Captain Jeon. I trust you will keep me informed. In the meantime, please accompany Prince Mingyu during his visit to the city centre."

The incredulous look that crosses over Wonwoo's face would be amusing if not for the tension still throttling the room.

//

"I'm beginning to get the impression that you are quite stubborn, Prince Mingyu," Wonwoo remarks dryly, leaning against the wall with his arms folded. "Foolishly so, one might even say."

Mingyu raises an eyebrow, but otherwise remains unaffected by the obvious bait.

"Think what you like about me, Captain Jeon," he shrugs even as the urge to retort does a tantalising dance at the forefront of his thoughts. He shoulders his satchel and sets off down the corridor without waiting for Wonwoo. The way that Wonwoo falls smoothly into step right beside him is something Mingyu will have to get used to.

"All I'm saying is that I don't think it's very wise for future King Mingyu to be so insistent on leaving the palace, especially when someone wants you dead."

"There won't be a problem as long as you do your job," Mingyu replies airily, shooting a sly sideways glance at Wonwoo. "Are you implying that you're incompetent, Captain Jeon?"

The sight of Wonwoo's face scrunching into a scowl might be the most satisfying thing Mingyu's seen all morning.

"Let me make this clear, I am your guard, not your mother-" Wonwoo begins in an irritated tone, but Mingyu stops walking and effectively cuts him off.

With narrowed eyes, Mingyu says, "I'd watch my tongue if I were you, Captain Jeon. I may tolerate the less than appropriate way you speak to me, but others certainly will not."

There is a moment in which Wonwoo holds his gaze firmly, expression unreadable. It's rather tense, and Mingyu finds himself unable to look away from those sharp eyes. Then, Wonwoo seems to relax a little.

"My apologies, Your Highness. I misspoke," he murmurs, and though Mingyu doubts its sincerity, it's better than nothing.

[darkpoisonouslove]

For the fic ask!

🤩a WIP snippet about or with dialogue from Valtor

😔published lines or a section of a fic that was super sad, angsty, or difficult to write?

🤩a WIP snippet about or with dialogue from Valtor

Well, I swore I'd never post this and now here I am. *sigh* This WiP has given me perpetual brainrot and I am weak.

Betrayal. It was all that was left in her world. One after another, her life had turned into a series of betrayals. Her crown had betrayed her with the promise of power it did not hold. Her husband had betrayed her for another woman. Her own dignity and self-control had betrayed her to a sight she’d confidently refused to dread.

“And to think the only thing I had to do to make my wife enjoy herself was sit her in a chair where she could watch me fuck the woman I love,” Valtor’s voice made it through all the raw sexual energy suffocating the room.

There was that word again. Love. That was what Valtor had told her. His commitment to her meant nothing all because the royal librarian had stolen his heart. Amongst other things. He might have given Samara a ring and a crown but he’d given his love to Griffin. Amongst other things.

“Excuse me?” Her nails dug in the expensive silk of her dress.

It was no matter. He’d buy her another one if she tore it to shreds. He’d buy her anything – fabrics and jewels finer than the librarian had ever seen in her life. Not that she needed clothes or trinkets when she had his lust and his heart.

Samara didn’t need replacements either. A tasteless affair would never leave visible traces on her appearance.

“Your thighs are squeezed together, your breath hitches just barely and your pupils are dilated enough for me to make it out all the way from the bed,” Valtor's words slapped her in the face harder than he was clutching at his toy. She couldn’t draw enough air to dispute his insanity even if her decorum allowed her. “You’re aroused. Tell her, Griffin,” his hand tugged on the purple hair to direct his mistress’ gaze to her.

Griffin moaned like her life depended on it. She barely looked at Samara, as usual. She kept her eyes to herself – not out of humility or decency. If that were the case, she’d stifle her voice too. The entire palace could hear her making obvious the disrespect she and Valtor held for Samara. One more reason for Samara to hate her and stagger when the feeling wasn’t there.

😔published lines or a section of a fic that was super sad, angsty, or difficult to write?

They're shorter so I'll give you two, both from Smolder:

"She hadn’t had the will to leave the prison she’d called home before Oritel’s warmth had overwhelmed that of her inner flames. She hadn’t had the power to protect Oritel from the dark magic twisting his own until it’d frozen in his veins and killed him. She hadn’t had the heart to leave Daphne’s side and incinerate his murderer lest her daughter figured out that her presence didn’t amount to much more than her absence did. Her mother had seized the opportunity to take over Daphne’s schedule and life when Marion hadn’t had the presence of mind to care for her own child. She didn’t even have the voice to speak up and reassert herself as the only parent Daphne had left."

This was hard to write both emotionally and from a technical aspect. I think you can tell why it was so heartbreaking to put it together but, honestly, wording this almost killed me. For one simple reason - I don't have a name yet picked out for Marion's mother and I didn't want to bother with it but that left me maneuvering with the words "mother" and "daughter". It's still a little messy for my liking but I think it's comprehensive, at least.

And the other snippet:

"The liquid inside the chalice was blue – the color of a flame burning too hot, ready to reduce her insides to cinders. The light coming from the cresset glimmered on the surface like a flickering sun blinding Marion. She couldn’t tell if her fingers would brush cold metal or colder magic but running away was not an option. She had to pass this test, had to come out on the other side despite feeling like a small speck of ash drowning into the sea of a potion held up against her."

Again, wrestling this into words was a struggle. Especially the last sentence. I don't know, I don't think I really had a very good idea of what I was trying to accomplish with this at first and that led to getting tangled into several different threads that I could follow with it. At the same time, I somehow had a very specific vision of it (the part with the liquid reflecting light mostly) and that added to the hardships because I had to mold my stray thoughts into a particular shape. I am more satisfied with how this one turned out, though!

[porcelainmortal]

20 questions for fic writers

thank you for the tags, @firenati0n and @myheartalivewrites!

How many works do you have on ao3?

Nine

What's your total ao3 word count?

72,997

What fandoms do you write for?

Red White & Royal Blue ❤️🤍💙

Top five fics by kudos:

it happened on a lake

handy for a handyman

a brit in brooklyn

when the curtains call the time

falling in a 5+1

The way that my handyman!alex series tapers off in kudos highlights how many people read the first part but have yet to read the rest!!

Do you respond to comments?

Yes, I try to respond to all of them! I appreciate that people took the time to comment, so I like to take the time to let them know it.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

None, happy endings only for my boys. 😁 Technically, being enough ends on a bit of an angsty note, but it's just a short snapshot of a moment in their lives, so it's not really the end of the story.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

They all have happy endings, but it happened on a lake looks into the future, so we get to see where they will end up. (Also there may be another chapter coming of this but shhh you didn't hear that from me.)

Do you get hate on fics?

Not really. I did get one comment on my angsty multi-chap that said Henry was pathetic. I thought that was mean, he's just Henry going through a hard time. And one comment on another fic that pointed out an editing mistake (which I appreciated) but then didn't comment on the fic at all. Like... is that all you took away from this? 😢

Do you write smut?

Yes. I sure do. 😆

Craziest crossover:

It's not technically a crossover, but it's also not *not* a crossover; the song of alex & henry has FirstPrince discussing The Song of Achilles and the similarities between them.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, not yet. But I'd be open to it!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I don't know how good I'd be at that. But it happened on a lake exists entirely because of @rmd-writes.

All time favorite ship?

Alex & Henry, hands down.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I don't know if I could completely abandon a WIP. I have some fic ideas that I have written a couple of paragraphs for that might not get fully written, but I don't consider those to be WIPs. They are really just slightly fleshed-out ideas.

What are your writing strengths?

I have surprised myself with my ability to write sexy, flirty banter. I think I learned from reading all the best fic writer over and over again. When I am writing Alex and Henry, it just flows so easily. I feel like conversation in general is fairly easy to write; sometimes I have to force myself to add in some exposition.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I am not good at world-building. I don't have a ton of patience for setting a scene or explaining things. I want to get better at those things, so I was thinking of challenging myself to write a fantasy au or a historical au. I'm just so afraid of getting the details wrong. As a perfectionist, it can be hard to work past those things that make me uncomfortable.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I love to read it - and thank goodness for Google Translate - but I haven't written any because I don't speak any other languages besides English. I am learning French so I might throw some of that in eventually, but if any native Spanish speakers want to offer their services so I can throw some of that in for Alex, please let me know!

First fandom you wrote in?

Twilight, when I was 21. Don't judge me. 😅

Favorite fic you've written?

Ah, I don't know! They all have such a special place in my heart. But honestly, my handyman!alex series has been incredibly gratifying. Not just writing it, but the comments that I've gotten on it.

That said, the Big Sad fic that is still a WIP is going to be something special, I think.

No-pressure tags for @cha-melodius @iboatedhere @orchidscript @clottedcreamfudge @cricketnationrise

And whoever else wants to play!

[shion-yu]

Day 27 - Hypnosis (Alt 19)

Sometimes it's better to forget. Whumptober 2023! I’m using the @ailesswhumptober's prompt list. This story is about my OC Rey - here’s his profile if you’re so inclined: https://toyhou.se/23741197.rey (And yes this is the last one I forgot to post lol.)

On Rey’s eighteenth birthday, there was no party. No coming of age celebration. No announcement was made to the papers, although there were certainly unofficial ones reporting on the anniversary of the twins’ birth. Many of them noted that Prince Allistor had been out of the spotlight for years now while Princess Moira’s upcoming wedding was well publicized. The average citizen didn’t have the time to care all too much about royal life, but a good number did - especially the tabloid press. There were reports that Rey was dead, that he’d gone mad, or even that he’d done something to deserve being locked away in a tower for the rest of his life by the royal family.

To an extent, the rumor about being locked away wasn’t entirely false. Rey was unable to leave his bedroom in the castle, but it was for his own good. Otherwise Clerval was sure he would kill himself - either consciously or unconsciously. Ever since Rey had come back to him after two long years away, he’d been different. He’d never been charming, per say, but Rey had been able to hold his own very well before he was kidnapped. Now, he seemed to have lost all sense of himself and the world around him.

He wouldn’t eat or drink without being forced - that was the most pressing issue now and the thing that convinced the King and Queen that drastic measures needed to be taken or else they would have to accept that Rey was going to die. The boy hadn’t spoken a word in a week other than fevered ramblings when he was half asleep. He couldn’t answer questions and didn’t follow commands. He was simply a shell of a person, unable to mentally escape from whatever prison he’d been held in for far too long.

Hypnosis as a medical treatment was not standard, nor was it encouraged in the kingdom for obvious reasons. But Rey’s parents had exhausted every traditional means of trying to cure their son of his catatonic state and they had run out of other options. The head doctor worked tireless hours to ensure the method was perfected - as perfected as something that had never been done and recorded before could be - waiting until he was confident enough to try it on Rey.

“He might still remember some of it,” the doctor warned. “Or it might not work and he could remember all of it. I could erase too much accidentally. I don’t know if he’ll forget how to do things like read and write. And who knows how long any of this will last.”

Despite all of this preface, the decision was made to try anyway. Rey’s eighteenth birthday was spent getting his memories wiped of the past two and a half years. All they could do was hope for the best. Rey’s twin sister Moira was in the room as it happened, staring disdainfully at her weak brother.

Rey slept for an entire month. It was touch and go for a while; maybe he’d never wake up. Clerval was his most frequent bedside companion, holding Rey’s hand and stroking it in the hopes that someday, he’d see those bright blue eyes open again.

Finally, one day, they did. Rey was very weak and didn’t speak right away, but he was awake and that was enough to fill Clerval with much needed hope for the future.

It took time for Rey to begin speaking, another several weeks. When he did, his voice was very hoarse and quiet - but that was more than welcome. Besides, anything was better than the feral screaming he’d been doing before he had gone completely silent. The first thing he said to Clerval after regaining his voice was, “Where am I?”

“You’re in your bedroom, Rey. In the castle. You don’t remember?”

“No, I remember,” Rey said, shaking his head. He seemed to be sleepy, but sure of himself. “Who’re you?”

“Clerval. Your best friend.” Had Rey really forgotten him? Clerval felt like he couldn’t breathe until Rey spoke again.

“Oh yes,” Rey said. “I knew that too.”

Clerval’s eyes filled with tears and he took one of Rey’s hands in his own. “Are you really back with me, Rey?”

Rey looked confused, half-asleep. “Did I go somewhere?”

It had worked.

[dulcewrites]

What do you think of Alys? There are lots of rumours surrounding her, but I think we both know how men used to write about women who refused to play the victim in patriarchal society and actually achieved something. She was Queen of Harrenhall after all. But what is more disturbing to me is that some people say that she used Aemond for her own goal which was to climb on social ladder and give birth to royal child. I just can't help but think yep, she was supposed to be happy that she will spend her entire life as bastard serving her family which contained father who surely treated her poorly (since when bastards are treated well to begin with? Apart from Jon and Sand Snakes obviously) and his wife who surely wasn't happy about having to see the living proof of her husband's cheating and half brothers Harwin and Larys who most likely didn't care about her at all. Look how men who really work hard to better their position within Westeros society even though they weren't much influential from the beginning of their life, managed to climb really high due to their intelligence, wit and dedication - Varys and Littlefinger. And yet they are called masterminds, their morals are questionable but still their ability to achieve things because they were smart is impressive. They serve first and foremost their own interest, but when men does it, it's alright but when women they are condemned to hell. When a woman called Alys Rivers has ambitions, most likely doesn't want to spend the rest of her life as servant since she did it for like 30 years and has every right to have enough of it, aims for something better, doesn't play damsel in distress even for a second - she is evil, seductress, femme fatale who will help Aemond descent into darkness in order to gain something from it lol the level of misogyny is so high I just am shocked people still think like this where this mentality should be gone long ago

I think the conflicting way people speak about alys comes from 1) the extremely weird way she was written in the book (f&b in general is not good but that’s another discussion for another day) and 2) the very binary camps people put women, and through that, female characters into.

If she is a victim of her circumstances, she must be the right kind of the victim. If she “rises above” (which in of itself titers into misogyny bc why is it either she was ‘strong enough’ to pull herself up by her bootstraps or she was too ‘weak’ not to), it must be in a way the audience finds palatable and of their liking. People are extremely uncomfortable and frankly very nasty when women do not show responses to trauma in the way they like. Hence why people are fucking awful when it comes to Alicent.

If people want to see alys as some seductress that’s their prerogative. I think that is a very shallow and weird way to look at a woman who probably went through sexual trauma in her life. Same with people thinking Aemond is going to assault her. Once again, very odd to theorize that someone who in show canon was assaulted himself is a r*pist. I personally find the she got pregnant then sent him to his death on purpose argument not only weird but also.. lacking any sense. If she was trying to secure the bag, why on earth would she want to essentially kill the one person who could confirm they were together and the baby is his???Now I’m of the belief that Aemond was going to fight Daemon regardless but the notion alys put it in his head bc she knew he would die is frankly nonsensical to me.

I think alys is indicative of her time. It’s why I think her story, along with nettles and maybe even Sara if they include her, are important. The surface level way she gets talked about and sometimes erased in this fandom is a literal representative of how bastardy for women plays out. The fact that people want these three women wiped from the show is so wild to me. Another convo we will eventually have is how gross it is how this fandom treats the people that actually represent them. You are not a targaryen.. you are the smallfolk

Idk if this answered your question. I feel like I’ve answered this before in different ask and I always regurgitate the same stuff. I may not be making sense lol. I like Alys. I’m excited for alys. Here’s a shameless plug of how i truly see her

[chesthighwater]

by thé way. wips roundup that absolutely no one asked for

first of all in the daudmartin brainrot corner we've got

sequel to bctbk, as promised. i have a major "plot" point planned, and then it might go one of two directions... we shall see :3c

the high overseer martin/assassin daud fic that i've posted a few excerpts from. essentially daud manifests himself into the abbey suggestively asking for ~spiritual guidance~ (lol) and things escalate from there. this has to get finished at some point because its like one of the first things i started writing for them. it deserve to see the light of day

a mildly humorous high overseer martin/spymaster daud fic. kind of a challenge for myself also- i find spymaster daud hard to imagine, and am not that used to writing daudmartin where they're not constantly trying to one-up/double cross each other/at each other's throats flirtatiously. presumably will not be nsfw (or at least, i'm not planning on it, but i make no promises. can't know where the ol inspiration will take me).

oh heres another high overseer martin thing! who wouldve thought! this time with Responsibility and Abbey Politics and Decisions. and working through issues. so many fucking issues. this one is actually actively in the works so ill leave it at that for now ;>

daudmartin pwp with genuinely 0 plot. like, negative plot. this thing defies plot. i can barely even tell you if it's an au or what, i might sprinkle a few nonsexual sentences in if i'm feeling generous but that's it. other than that it's literally just about martin being very quiet during sex and daud trying every trick he has in his book (which admittedly isn't many) to change that instead of like, communicating

augh speaking of plot-defying pwps. "what if overseers had (some appropriate equivalent to) confessions". there is some lore in here obviously but the entire point of it is confessional dirty talk. i dont KNOW

[REDACTED] pwp which im not even gonna advertise itll just appear one day and if you find it you found it

mostly unplanned ideas that i might flesh out: sokolov portrait thing. some dunwall noir stuff purely for martin in a cassock reasons (and sexualising religious guilt reasons. if i knew anything at all about priests i'd be working on this much faster). something involving the outsider appearing to martin (this might just get absorbed in a more well fleshed out idea at some point). martin Suffering More, because i want him in a situation where his wit fails completely (more desperation! more excuses! i am weak for this i really am.). something involving some more Action- fighting together against an acute threat? i think there should be more fighty martin out there. i am the change i want to see in the world

(not including the various snippets for the eternal serkonan vacation au which i already laid out there)

in the thief crossover brainrot corner (i bet you forgot i allude to thief crossovers in my description!)

also a sokolov portrait thing, but i have it way more planned out. corvo really, really wants garrett to sit in for a portrait (especially now when he's officially the empire's shadiest most mysterious spymaster ever). he reluctantly agrees, but Under One Condition.

a sort of relationship chronicle via heart lines. definitely starts with corvo's diplomatic mission and possibly ends with some happy dh2 era content. obviously i have the heart lines planned out.

possibly something involving more political intrigue/royal drama type stuff? i'm lucky enough to have access to someone who can give me some really good examples/plots if i fail to come up with anything myself.

(this is just a thief thing but i have had a viktoria/lt. mosley thing running around my brain for AGES. i want to explore how their relationship develops so bad. i know they have literally one interaction in canon but they are my blorbinas and i have mentally expanded their backstories so hard the story is basically begging to be written at this point)

anyway if you read this unreasonably unnecessarily long post i love you. i am sending you a kiss. wanna get married