#i am absolutely gutted by the implications of this mod in the context of the story

[plumawolf]

The Fallout Who Regenerated mod adds so much more to the story of Fallout 4 than I first thought.

For context, I haven’t played much of the game myself. I dabbled in it a bit a few years ago, didn’t progress all that much, but I know the story because of playthrough and general curiosity. But recently I’ve had major Doctor Who brainrot again, and only just found out about Fallout Who Regenerated. I thought “A mod for a game I already have where you can repair and fly your own TARDIS? Sign me the fuck up!”

Yes, flying the TARDIS is cool. The new Doctor Who themed tracks added are just *chef's kiss.* Go look them up on youtube.

But holy shit.

The premise of this game is already so angsty. But here’s a bit of how I imagine my character’s experience from her pov went when I started a new game with the mod installed. Beware: this part is long and will contain spoilers for both Fallout 4 and Fallout Who Regenerated.

My husband has been murdered, my son kidnapped. I’ve been frozen for who knows how long. I get out of the vault, desperate to see my baby again. Right away, I see Codsworth, still trying to clean a house that’s been abandoned for what he tells me has been two centuries, and he gives me a holodisk from my husband. I don’t listen to it immediately. I'm too desperate to find at least one other person in this desolate hellscape. But I pop it into my Pip-Boy anyway, for later.

I find a stray dog, the first friendly face I've seen in this place that isn't made of metal. I find the Minutemen not long after when I follow the sound of gunshots. I help them out with the raiders, defend against the Deathclaw attracted by the gunfire. The old lady with them says she’s psychic and that my son is alive, and I’ve never been much of a believer in that kind of thing, but I’ll take anything at this point. We all head back to Sanctuary, a not-so-merry band of survivors armed only with pistols and a rifle scraped together out of junk.

We arrive back at Sanctuary and set up camp. It's not much, but the little life returning to my old neighborhood gives me some comfort. I am not alone.

I'm cleaning out the root cellar of another wrecked house, searching for anything that could be scrapped and repurposed, because we still need a way to purify water. And that is when I hear it. Whispers, in a language that I don't understand, but I get such a familiar feeling. Something compels me to look down at the shelf I just searched, really look at it. And there, glinting in the dim lamplight, is a golden pocket watch, and a silver key.

Curiosity overwhelms me. The key looks rather unassuming, but the pocket watch is decorated with many circular designs, overlapping and intertwining in intricate patterns. It feels familiar in my hand, and is surprisingly warm to the touch. The whispers grow louder, and it's almost as if they're inside my mind itself...

The moment I open the pocket watch, it's as if I'd been looking through a pinhole my entire life, but someone has just ripped it wide open. And I remember everything.

I am a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey, in the constellation of Kasterborous. I came to this planet to hide, hide so well that I would forget my true identity. It takes a few moments to recover from the sheer flood of memories and information, but when I am, it's like I've been reborn. And the first thing I must do is find my TARDIS.

It's not hard to hook up the TARDIS key to my Pip-Boy so I can create a homing signal to its location. Anticipation clogs my throat, my hearts beat faster as the signal gets stronger. I rush past the other settlers, ignoring their worry and questions. And I see it. I see it.

The Chameleon Circuit is completely busted, judging by the exterior, which has reverted to the generic silver cylinder shape. But when I open the door for the first time in centuries, I can feel her in my mind. She hums, pleased to see me again after so long. As I check on her systems and assess the damage (and there is quite a lot), I find myself smiling again. In fact, as I step into the TARDIS depths to look for the instruction and repair manuals (I always lose the damned things... an infinite ship with infinite possibilities, but I'd never thought to use any filing cabinets...), I feel almost giddy. I trail my hands along the walls, passing by rooms I haven't visited in years.

Finally, I reach the library. It's much more bare than it used to be - the TARDIS had to clear quite a lot of space to preserve her systems while I was away, mostly due to the damage she sustained upon landing. When I approach the writing desk in the middle of the room, I see that the TARDIS has already taken the liberty of presenting the instruction manual, in holodisk form for my convenience. I smile and thank her for it. She hums jovially in return.

However, when I open my Pip-Boy, there is already a holodisk inside. My stomach sinks when I remember that it is the one that Nate, my human self's husband, intended to give to me. Against my better judgement, I play it. When it is over, Nate's "We love you" and the last of Shaun's gurgles leave me feeling hollow. I feel the vastness of the TARDIS. Vast, but so very, very empty.

Even after I repair my TARDIS, I cannot leave. I will not, not yet. Because even though I am my true self again, that human version of me still grieves so deeply for her murdered husband, and cares so fiercely for the son that she lost. Even though I am not his mother anymore, I still feel the love that she felt for him. I cannot run away from this. I must find Shaun again.