#i am VERY open about having had to 'prove i'm lgbt enough' because i am bisexual

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

We need to discuss the vagueposting. Ranting about medicpauling is valid and not the issue, however. It's miss p x merc, an older man/young woman, and there's been/are fans into heteronormative and straight up predatory dynamics. Hating it and wanting to avoid it is understandable.

But publicly gossiping on your blog to your followers about shippers' orientations based on the pairing and how they draw Medic, where its active creators on Tumblr cannot be counted on one hand, is not on. There's a difference between describing what demographics are attracted to a ship vs stating the few fanwork creators belong to it.

There were only two people in the tags last year you could be referring to. Assigning people straight vibes or trans vibes or gay vibes assigns stereotypes. It erases identities, and potentially ends with someone having to justify depicting non-het relationships and experiences by outing themselves or proving they're LGBT+ enough. I don't want to go through that, and neither should anyone else.

Literally what the hell are you talking about

[alottamoney]

This is very frustrating because you can't be messaged.Nevertheless I would like to share something very serious with you. These are strictly speculation. Firstly I would like to clear my position with Taekook.Long story short: I believe them.

Quite recently I stumbled upon a theory about Taekook's coming out process that seemed very logical to me.The summary of the theory is, the art that BTS has been releasing from the beginning,or from 2015-16 to be exact, have been quite evidently inspired by Taekook's journey from discovering themselves, to then losing themselves, to then finally be able to find their happiness and true-self with each other.From Stigma, to DNA,to FAKE LOVE.A lot of BTS songs are talking about a hurtful love filled with sadness.Also, the kind of songs Taekook listens to and covered from the beginning traces that journey from sadness to happiness.From the official songs,Singularity, The truth untold,Heartbeat,House of Cards,Whalien,Make it Right to name a few.It's justified to assume that BANGPD supports them and love them.But if it is so then why the separation from time to time?According to this theory it is to prepare the ARMY very slowly to getting used to Vkook.We have seen since 2017 taekook is used to promote the Album the most,to hype it up,and once the Album's released,it's the watchful eyes again.BangPd was very supportive of Jkwon,a kpop idol who likes drag.But he also told him that you cannot throw a stone into a still lake and expect everyone to be fine with it.It will take a long time to get the water to settle down.What bangpd is doing with Taekook is he is engineering a very long process of getting people used to the message of acceptance through messaging of their album,love myself,be yourself.He is creating a generation that is used to these ideas so that when that stone lands,there will be no ripple.

Now nitpicking time.Tae and BangPD share a mutual dislike for each other.It's not a secret.Because Tae made it obviously clear on many occasions. Everyone in the kpop world knows it.Starting from Taekook's relationship, V was being portrayed as a non-essential member.Idk if it was a coincidence,but taekook is the king of coincidence and the timing somehow matches.It got to the point where he had only 1/2 lines in a song. If you know Tae's journey, you would know and I'm not gonna elaborate the extent to which it was bad.I also get the feeling he doesn't like Kookie's personality(he doesn't respect him) because he has a psychological need for Tae built in him.The golden Child of BTS.If BangPD is supporting Taekook and engineering their smooth coming out,and taekook are in on it,then why do they seem displeased when separation happens?It has happened so many times that there is no other option to consider than them being unhappy with the situation.

My pessimism will take over from this point.It's about money in the end.I personally believe BangPD supports lgbt.Before elaborating on my point I want to present someone else's viewpoint who I had a discussion with.They are even more pessimistic than me.A bit hilarious too.According to them if BangPD really supported Lgbt he would not try to corner Tae like that.It's an unwritten code among lgbt that you hold each other's relationship up despite your personal things.According to them BangPD used all these messages for marketing purposes and used Taekook and the members as a gimmick for it.That's why he was okay with Jikook but not taekook.Tae did not like jikook happening on stage to the extent it was happening but it was given a free pass in the name of it being just a job.According to this person,an lgbt supporting person would never do something like that to a lgbt relationship.Scary stuff.

Now my elaboration : BangPD is not necessarily protecting Taekook or BTS,he is protecting his investment. He wants to engineer a smooth path for their coming out but only under his term?I know before military it's unthinkable and even after that, my opinion is Taekook are not the declaring in a statement type couple.They prove by actions,not by words.That's why I am a bit confused as to what pd's thoughts are regarding Taekook future.All I know is that Tae does not like it when someone instructs him how to behave in his own relationship.He's been throwing middle fingers left and right to whoever can see.If they are not on the same page with Pd's plan for them,then....what?On a sidenote: I am sure JJK and KTH1 mixtapes are getting delayed due to profit sharing issues.You just know they are going to break every record out there.V said in 2019 that his mixtapes were ready for release that year,and he wanted to see how ARMY react to it and then he uttered something very interesting"It's going to be delayed anyway"..then he laughed in the brattiest way possible at the staffs while spoiling 😂 BH couldn't get that sweet sweet money from "Sweet Night".Going back to my previous point,it really seems like everything is connected to money.Does BANGPD want a situation where if Taekook have to come out,whether by accident or something else,he can be there to take advantage of the situation?Like saying he supported them all along,and the money will come in as support for them pours in.Idk how that will a viable situation.For one, Tae will consider eating poison before agreeing to letting PD use his personal relationship for circus,and it's fair to assume BangPD knows it.Then what about the possibility that PD really is like a strict parent,who wants the best for his children even though his methods are torture.Did he think taekook not being a couple was in their best interest?Taekook's interest/BTS' interest?Like I said, I personally believe pd supports lgbt.He doesn't like Tae's personality,his rebellious streak.I could be wrong but would his personal dislike move him to create tough situation for taekook even though he supports lgbt.It seems unlikely because wouldn't it create unhealthy environment within the group,pd must have known this.Or did he think it's just a teenage romance,one push and it will break easily.All of these possibilities because all I have gotten that TK are not happy when their relationship is micromanaged.

Now there's Lisa in JK's Vlive correcting his steps in Euphoria.Guess we are all delulu at this point.I really think that was Lisa though.Don't ask.I'm sorry for this long ask.Please share with me what you think.

Hi anon, I'm happy that you shared your views on Taekook. My opinion on this topic might be disappointing but I'll share anyway.

First, I don't have a coming out theory because I don't think any BTS member would willingly reveal any sort of romantic relationship because of the fan frenzy around them.

I don't analyze MVs, lyrics, and such because these things involve a lot of input from a lot of people: producers, composers, lyricists, designers, stylists, choreographers, etc. It's much more than just BTS sharing personal stories and trying to find clues about the members' private lives from them is a pointless venture according to me. The covers and song recommendations made by Tae and Jungkook in the earlier years, like you pointed out, have more weightage in this regard.

About Bang and his relationship with Tae and Jungkook: I think there is a large gap between fandom perception and what has actually been shown. While I don’t think Tae is Bang’s bias, I also don’t think he dislikes him or is out to sabotage him. It is even possible that him “favoring” Jungkook does not extend beyond his potential marketability. He seems indifferent for the most part to them as individuals. Assuming Tae and Jungkook are in a relationship, I agree that maybe Bang did not take it seriously until he had to. He could also have done a lot more damage than just separate them on screen or cut them out of content so I don’t think he micromanages them outside work (or may he tried and Tae and Jungkook are just that inseparable🤷🏻‍♀️). He might even consider it beneficial, not in a direct financial manner but in that it makes them easier to control and monitor- two less NDAs to worry about. It doesn’t help that Tae and Jungkook are also very erratic in a way that can’t be attributed to company micromanagement. That could explain some inconsistencies, they’re also figuring it out (and they’re a bit dramatic about it in my opinion).

Jokwon hasn't said anything about his sexuality explicitly, I don't know if this counts as an example of Bang's support of the LGBTQ community but he seems open-minded enough and he hasn't said or done anything homophobic. Tae and Jungkook though are part of his biggest cash cow so, while he might not be homophobic it's not a stretch to assume he has different standards for them vs Jokwon who isn't signed to his label. About using the members and Jikook as a gimmick, I think that is simultaneously complicated but also not that deep and it’s probably a separate discussion; in short, I don’t think Bang is thinking farther than taking advantage of and promoting a popular (easier?) ship but it seems to have affected the relationship of the members involved (Disclaimer: I don’t think that all permutations and combinations of relationships between the members have a possibility of being “real”. I don’t think it’s an everyone loves everyone situation.)

Will Bang or the company try to take the credit if Taekook are outed by accident? The way they act, I feel like they are pretty confident that no such thing will happen. In the very minute chance that it does, I think they'll wash their hands of Taekook and let them fend for themselves. I don’t think they’ve done the groundwork to benefit from such a situation nor do I think they are making it easy for Taekook. The narratives put forth in In The Soop and other content do the opposite of cushioning the blow. There’s no overall consistency and it’s really hard to predict how such things will play out, so I don’t know if they have any plans centered around Taekook right now much less back when they discovered that Taekook might not be typical bandmates. 

I'm not sure what you meant by that last paragraph but why Lisa?

[downwithwritersblock]

I'm a 13 yr old bi writer in a very homophobic country. I wrote a couple of stories (personal+vent), and my dad wants to publish them. He is v v homophobic and my stories have many lgbtq+ characters (he hasn't actually read them yet.) I don't want to change my characters sexualities, but people over here get killed for being lgbtq+ or even supporting them. I wanna make it more subtle without actually erasing their sexuality, any advice? And can I just have some general writing advice as a minor?

I want to start off by saying that I am sorry. When I first started writing, I was just a bit younger then you are now, and I was about 15 when I first started realizing that I wasn’t straight. Now here I am, years later, a grown adult, and I am still too afraid to share my stories with my family, and I am even more afraid to come out to them. My circumstances arent any where near as harsh as yours. I live in California, in the U.S, and for the most part, we are pretty chill on the homophobia here, at least in my experience, and while my parents arent extremely homophobic, they still tend to look at LGBT+ very differently. I know the worse thing that could happen to me if I came out is that my parents start to look at me differently, but that still terrifies me, but If I am scared, I can’t possibly imagine what you are feeling. So I want to give you some pieces of advice that I wish people would have told me when I was your age.: 

1. Your writing is yours. You don’t have to show it to anyone, you don’t have to publish it, if you want to keep it to yourself, then that is fine. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. If your dad is persistent in wanting to get your writing published, find good reasons not to; Tell him they arent complete or that you arent finished with them (that’s what I tell my parents when they ask to read my story), tell him that you want to wait till you’re older when you have more experience and confidence and more possibilities. Make up whatever excuse you have to. If you don’t think you are safe to publish them, then don’t. It’s not worth your life. Nothing is worth your life. 

2. If you really do want to tone down the LGBT+ themes in your writing, it’s easy; First, avoid all romantic relationships. That’s the dead giveaway, try not imply anything either, leave it at friendship, or up to reader interpretation, and if anyone asks, you could tell them it’s just a friendship. Don ‘t explicitly say anyone is a member of the LBGT+ community, you can imply it, if you have a bi female character, and you want to calmly express that she is bi, let her check out another female. If anyone asks, chalk it up to her admiring another girl, or that she’s jealous of other girls beauty or something. I’ve used this one a few times as well. Leave everything kind of vague, don’t get too specific. Make everything so it could be LGBT+ rep if looked at a certain way, but to most, it would just be friendship, or closeness, or something. I often find that while it’s disgusting and harmful at times, heteronormativity can also be lifesaving. Most straight people will automatically assume things are straight until given too many clues to say otherwise. Use that to your advantage. 

3. Writing is hard. When I was 13, I thought writing was going to be this easy thing, I thought you just made up characters and scribbled out a little story about them. I had no idea how hard writing actually was, and it shows. If I go back to look at my writing from that time, it shows how little work I actually put in. Give writing all you’ve got. Take your time with it. Build your characters and your world and your plot as much as you can. Save all the resources you can find. People make writing out to be easy but it’s not, and you can’t let that derail you. Keep going. Take it as a challenge. Keep writing no matter how hard it gets. 

4. Don’t let anyone tell you that you cant. I don’t care who it is, or what reasons they have to tell you that you shouldn’t write, do not listen to them. When I was a little kid, I used to sing all the time, I loved to sing, and everyone encouraged me to do so because I was a kid and it made me happy. My parents even thought about sending me to singing classes. Then one day my big sister told me that I wasnt as good as everyone said I was, that they only said that so they wouldnt hurt my feelings. After that, I lost all confidence in singing. I never took those classes, I never felt comfortable singing in front of people. It was years before I sang in the car with my own mother without feeling uncomfortable, and it’s still bad. I have a full mental breakdown if I try to sing in front of people without lyrics to sing along to, and being a theater student, that meant musical season kicked my ass every year. I know that was a long, unnecessary story, but my point is, people, no matter who it is, are going to tell you stupid things. They could mean to bring you down, and it could just be an off-hand comment, but you can not let it get to you. Take everything as a challenge. If anyone ever doubts you, prove them wrong. Never stop doing something you love, just because of something someone says to you. 

5. You’re young. You have a lot to learn. Don’t deny that. No, I am not calling you stupid, the opposite actually. When I was your age, I thought I was so damn smart for my age, I thought I knew everything, I thought I was above what people could teach me. That was stupid. I wish I had reached out to people. I wish I had asked people for help, for advice, for guidance. I wish I had the confidence to ask people for help when I needed it, but I never did. You did. You had enough confidence to come into my inbox and ask me for help. Keep that confidence. Find people you can trust, make friends in the writing community, find mentors. You might think you don’t need one, but trust me, growing up in the writing world, you will find a lot of moments you are going to wish you had someone you could easily reach out to for help. You are not stupid, don’t let anyone tell you are, especially because of your age. But avoid the mistake that I made, and realize that you are naive, and that you do have a lot to learn. Writing is an ever evolving trade. No one is a master in writing, thinking that you are is only going to mess you up, and ruin your confidence later on, and weaken your ability to learn and grow later on. Trust me, I know. 

6. Don’t cater to anyone. Do not write what other people want you to write. Write what makes you happy. Write for yourself first, other people later. Write the story you want to see in the world. Write something you would want to read. I guarantee you if you would like to see that story, then so would other people. I spent a  long time trying to write what I thought people would like to see me write, and that resulted in me not liking my own stories. I hated my own stories, I was bored with my own stuff, because I wasnt writing what I liked to write. 

7. Practice! Practice! Practice! The best way to grow in writing, just like with any other art form, is to practice. Find writing exercises, keep journals, play with prompts, Make short stories, try poetry, try song lyrics, Just write. 

8. It wouldnt kill you to read a book. Read books of every genre, read poetry, read plays, read novels and autobiographies. Read. Reading can help inspire you, and can help give you basic writing guidelines, and it could help you find your style. The kind of books you like to read? Guess what? That’s the kind of writing you should be doing. If you love mystery novels? Guess what you’ll have loads of fun doing? Hate romance novels? You know the kind of genre to avoid trying to write then. Dyeing for a good horror fantasy book? Write it yourself. (Also, side tip: Your favorite books? Get two copies if you can. For many of my favorite stories, I have two copies if I had the opportunity. Why? Annotation of course. I break them down. Like a puzzle, find what I like about them. What I don’t like. What works. What makes them so good to me. It adds fuel to my fire.) 

9.  This isnt completely about writing, but it is something I wish someone had told me: Your life is so valuable. I know you said people in your country can be killed for being or supporting LGBT+ so I just want to remind you to be careful. Don’t do anything that could put your life at risk, please. I struggled a lot at your age, for many different reasons. I wish someone had told me that my life was valuable. That my future is worth living for. Hell I wish I had someone to tell me that now. Look, the future is a wild thing, and you never know what it has in store for you, but I promise you, it’s worth finding out. I promise you that If you want it to, and if you try hard enough, the future can be a great place. You just gotta fight for it. You gotta fight to see it. I don’t know if that’s something you are struggling with, but just in case you are, or just in case someone tries to convince you that publishing your stories the way they are would be worth it, I need to say that: Do not do anything that could get you hurt. Do not risk it. Save them, save your stories for a time in your life when you can publish them they way they are meant to be. You’ve got a long life ahead of you, and you’ve got a lot more stories to write. Don’t let anyone or anything keep you from that. 

I really hope that helps, and I wish you the best of luck with everything. If you ever need anything else at all, please don’t hesitate to ask me. My inbox is always open! 

[mewtymew]

I guess this is my second coming out post? So, I'm bi. 😎

It's taken me a long time to get here, but this last year has given me many experiences that helped me begin to accept that I may be bisexual. One such experience that pushed the line for me was actually very recent. The 2017 Portland Pride Parade. Most of my life I've identified as heterosexual, but began to question things at about 12 or 13. Then it became I'm straight with a thing on the side.. I didn't know what to do with these other feelings. At that time, I felt I wasn't worthy of calling myself bi because I wasn't sure if I could actually love a woman (emotionally and physically). I'm still not, but I sure know now that the attraction is there. It's not a promiscuous thing either. It's just there. Last I was on here, I was identifying as heteroflexible/bi (which I still feel a part of and love all mah little flexies). I've reflected on my feelings a lot while I was gone, and although it's an ongoing process, I'm learning a lot more about my sexuality and where I stand. It's still difficult though because my feelings for women seem so fragmented, yet I'm totally confident in my attraction to men. Like I will get crushes on girls that feel very different and less intense than the ones I've had on men. I've learned over the years that bisexuality isn't 50/50 in love, attraction, and physical relationships. So I'm starting to understand my attraction to women, and potentially other genders, better. The thing is, despite these feelings and doubts, I think I'm quite a bit more attracted to women than I previously believed. I'm finally having those "look back on life moments and connect the dots and omg heteronormativity has affected me!" moments. I'm becoming more comfortable with calling myself bi, and the 2017 Portland Pride Parade was like a slap in the face. I've been to a few parades in the past but always came as an ally. I remember just wanting to be as supportive as I could, and shoving my own questioning aside for the sake of being a good ally, or whatever. Recently, I've also had a lot of "oh snap, am I bi??" Moments. Despite that, I went to the parade thinking it'd be like all the other times, with the exception that I was more in questioning and not quite attending as an ally. My boyfriend accompanied me, being fully aware of my questioning. He's in the same boat. Things started out pretty normally, in regards to myself, but then something happened that had never happened to me at these parades before. I just stated crying like a baby. I felt so overwhelmed. The amount of love and happiness in the air was intoxicating. There were bi pride flags mixed in with all the other flags. There were bi groups in the parade. Our mayor was even in the parade, and seeing him there supporting the lgbt+ community of Portland made me cry even harder. My boyfriend just held onto me even tighter. My last relationship was an abusive one that ended in a lot of biphobia that made me feel like I had to prove I was straight, and that my attraction to women was not big enough to "qualify" as bisexual. Honestly the word bisexual didn't come up much. When I was brave enough to tell him I didn't love him or want to be in that relationship anymore, he used my questioning and lack of interest in him to accuse me of being a closeted lesbian. Because you know, I couldn't possibly not want to be with you because you're abusive. It's because I don't like men. Sure.. Anyways, the support and acceptance of my current boyfriend and the open atmosphere at the parade had me crying hard. It dawned on me why this hit me so hard. The realization that it is ok for ME to be bi and that I don't have to prove my sexuality to anyone. I'm just as bi as the next bi person. No two bisexual people are the same. Sexuality can be very fluid, and maybe there will be a time in my life when I find myself even more interested in girls. Although I'm in a relationship with a man, my attractions have not changed. I'm bi no matter who I date. I'm also monogamous as hell, and I hope my current relationship lasts a long time. Hopefully forever. Doesn't make me any less bi. I'm so happy I can finally begin to accept that. It's still a bit of a slow process, but I'm grateful to my boyfriend, and the lgbt+ community of Portland, OR. for making me feel safe enough to accept myself. This has been bottled up for quite some time, and unfortunately I'm closeted in real life. The only ones who know are my boyfriend and anyone at the parade who didn't mistake me for straight (I didn't have any pride stuff on but no one was like oh hey you're an ally). I can't come out to the rest of the world though until I can fully accept myself. The parade however was like WAKE UP YOU'RE BI! I needed that slap in the face