#i always thought izuku fell first and bk didn't really but DAMN U OPENED MY MIND

[blole-hack]

max omg, yk the nickname situation regarding katsuki and izuku as toddlers, well?? forgot that katsuki also literally only cared that izuku couldn't read as well as he could ("you mean you can't?" directed at izuku, glancing back at izuku, really tightening his izuku goggles as much as damn possible). and that even if in that situation katsuki was just looking for attention from his peers and to tease izuku, that means he was specifically enthralled by izuku's attention and also implies that he subconsciously thought izuku was worthy of attention from him and wanted a reaction out of him. and THEN katsuki then proceeds to continue using the nickname for izuku whilst hiding under the flimsy false pretense that he thinks izuku's dumb and useless which we both know is him being full of shit. i'm not even exaggerating when i say my boy is and always has been obsessed. i'm. having so much brainrot rn

edit: FOR CONTEXT for what i will say below READ @justawhoresblog 's post here first

OlivER Oh my god YEAHHH YOURE RIGHT QJDJWJJSW

HES SO ATTENTION SEEKING

in some way he does want izuku to admire him, because he wants to show that hes better than him *at stuff* and only him.

like "can you do that izuku? lol u cant"

its not just "hah u suck" but also "hah izuku im better than you, seE"

to connect with the recent chapters;

Man, his feelings for him really run deep and complex

He wants izuku to think that he's better than him, because he wants Izuku to look up to him and think he's great. Which means he wants Izuku's attention, subconsciously even since he was a kid.

Hes afraid of izuku surpassing him, because hes afraid of being left behind by izuku. He's afraid of that because he wants to be with Izuku. But he's also scared of Izuku which is why he wanted to push him away,, but that's exactly why he's afraid of izuku surpassing him. So he also wanted Izuku to back down and be afraid of him instead, but it also gets complicated because he also wants Izuku's attention.

Maybe its because deep down he really thinks he isn't good enough. No matter how arrogant he looks he really has a twisted sense of self worth. Deep down he really seeks Izuku's approval, which ties into (his almost final moments-)

He wants to be perfect as how everyone expected him to be, but its more important to him that

He also kept comparing himself Izuku, but that makes sense because you want to make someone you deem awesome admire you, and since they're awesome to you you want to be better than them too, especially with all the societal pressure in MHA.

in the words of Lil Nas X, "I wanna fuck with those I envy. I envyy-"/j im sorry

AND NOW HE DOESNT WANT TO BE AHEAD NOR BEHIND DEKU

he FINALLY ACCEPTED THAT HE JUST WANTS TO BE BY HIS SIDE

FUCK BEING BETTER AND BEING THOUGHT OF AS A BIG DEAL THAT THE STRONG WANTS TO FIGHT AGAINST

Fuck being better than deku

in SHORT WOW bakugo has had bakudeku angst longer than deku???

and also MORE PARALLELS

Since Deku's admiration to Bkg and All might both foil and parallel one another

Bkg's admiration to Deku and All might also both foil and parallel one another (the desire to surpass them...but deep down actually really looks up to the other? i mean it was obvious in the case of All Might but he DID keep it suppressed and hidden) but idk thats a topic for another dayyy OR for someone else to cover since I'm too shy to write actual metas

AND THIS may BACK UP THE CASE FOR DEKU NOT BEING MEANT AS MALICIOUS AT FIRST! And the other scenes and in the "de-izuku" moments because he subconsciously refered to him as such in times he didnt have bad feelings towards him anymore. It might have just started as a way for Bkg to get attention from him.

For (younger) Bkg, everyone else was already, by default extras compared to him. It is by default that he's better than everyone else. It is only Deku (and kind of All Might and other adults but they arent peers so it doesnt count) that he ACTIVELY TRIES TO PROVE he's better than him. And thats because he sees something in him. (which is obvious now in hindsight now that he explicitly said how he feels but man was i dense THE SIGNS WERE THERE ALL ALONG)

Also man rewatching some parts of the Bkg vs Uraraka fight

the reason why he was so passionate about defeating her is partially because of deku right

"Don't underestimate me" he told her. But iirc he kinda had no reason to besides *looks at deku*

how he thought Deku was looking down on him. man i didnt even cover that yet

one's thoughts abt how someone they like feels about them gets warped by their insecurities

an added oof the balance of all of BKG's complicated feelings. Its precisely that he thought that someone he wanted to like him ACTUALLY looked down on him made him so upset at deku right?????

RIGHT

WAIT

if thats NOT GAY WHAT IS WHAT ISSS-