#i always complain he's a complete traffic jam of a character to write and this is fucking why

[snickerdoodlles]

Tawan's just an idiot who thinks he's a femme fatale. this makes it really easy to understand his character motivations and actions. but it becomes a fucking bitch to write his POV, because the sheer number of mental hoops, twisty logic, and doublethink he has to engage in to live in his femme fatale reality is unreal.

[itsclydebitches]

YYH Recaps: Episode 1, Surprised to be Dead

Hello, all you hypothetical readers! It's a beautiful spring day and I have a free afternoon ahead of me, so what better time to start another massive project while I guilty stuff my other WIPs deep into the depths of my hard drive? Yeah. Iffy life choices aside, someone mentioned a few weeks back that they'd love for me to recap a show I have more positive things to say about than negative (RIP RWBY) and ever since Netflix announced that their live-action adaptation of Yu Yu Hakusho is in the works, I've been itching for a re-watch of the anime. With the RWBY hiatus underway, it seemed like the perfect time to fulfill both desires.

Before we begin though, I'd like to touch on a few things that are going to influence this project.

First, YYH is near and dear to my heart. Written by Yoshihiro Togashi in the early 1990s and later adapted for an American audience by Funimation, I had the pleasure of experiencing this story five different ways: as a serialized tale in Shonen Jump, a binge read when I had the money to buy the manga, tiny snippets of the anime on Adult Swim late at night — don't tell my parents ;) — as an after-school treat on Toonami, and then years later as a re-watch when I introduced it to a friend (who, in turn, blessed me by having us watch Fullmetal Alchemist next). I used to keep a Hiei bookmark in everything I was reading, the spirit gun made it into our witch-wolf-space adventures on the playground (middle school was wild), and there was a long period of my life where I tried very hard to teach myself to stand with my hands behind my back, precisely as Genkai does. Spoiler alert: I failed. So to say I love the series is... a little bit of an understatement. I bring this up simply as a way of demonstrating that there's more than a bit of nostalgia attached to YYH for me and that will inevitably cloud my reading of it. How can it not? So that's just something to keep in mind as I work through a series that, like any having hit its 30th birthday, has its outdated, flawed, and other questionable aspects.

Second, but very much connected to the first point, is that these are pretty casual recaps. I summarize and extrapolate, focusing primarily on plot and dialogue (but with the occasional cinematography aspect tossed in). I'm not conducting research on the cultural history here — something that will come up at least once in this episode — I'm not arguing an overarching thesis, and I've never been someone who focuses on the author/production/trivia of a series. I'm here for the story as the story is presented to the viewer. If you've read my RWBY Recaps, this will function precisely the same way, with the only difference being I'm engaging with a finished text as opposed to an ongoing one, so there’s a lot less, “Maybe ___ will happen” theorizing going on. 

Third, I obviously recommend that you watch the show yourself (you can find it on YouTube!), but you don't have to know the series to follow along. As these massive paragraphs attest, I tend to be both detailed and verbose, so we'll be covering every major plot point — and most of the smaller ones too.

Finally, I'm working from the dub. I know, I know, the horror. But it's what I grew up on and, honestly, I think it's superior to the sub. YYH's dubbing is in a class all its own and to this day there are very few shows that compare to it. Trust me, it's a good call.

That's enough of the boring chit-chat though. Let's get started!

Our very first episode "Surprised to be Dead" opens on a crowded street. We see lots of traffic, people going about their business, and a pedestrian crossing sign that, crucially, turns red. This is our normality and, like in every genre story, you need to break that normality at some point so that the protagonists can go on their fantastical/supernatural/science fiction journey. YYH eases us into things by first breaking the normality of an everyday afternoon: there's a screech of tires, quick shots of a man pushing a child out of the way of an oncoming car, and then his back is hitting the windshield. We begin this story with a horrible — but otherwise mundane — car crash.

Now, these flashes alone have a fair bit to unpack. Despite later getting a brief shot of the man's scared face right before he's hit, the moment's focus is really on the child. He's the one foregrounded in the initial, slow-mo shot. He's the one who appears in color while the man is kept in shadow. This isn't just a hit, it's a rescue. The camera is also careful to follow the soccer ball this kid was playing with (more on that later in the episode), with it flying through the air as the man is hit and bouncing to a stop in the street, acting as the dramatic finish. It's childhood! It's innocence! It's play on a sunny afternoon! And it's all gone wrong.

This moment is chaotic and even a bit confusing. Not in the sense of what's happening — that is quite obviously a guy being hit by a car — but who the victims are, how precisely this came about, or even why we're meant to care about this beyond a generic capacity to feel for other human (fictional) beings... that's all removed. And it works. As the crash takes place, the camera pans across the stunned crowd and we, the viewer, become a part of that crowd. They don't know what precisely is going on either. We're all just horrified onlookers as a sudden tragedy takes place. We're all watching the same show.

So everyone realizes this guy has been hit. People are staring in shock and someone calls for an ambulance. We see the driver fall to his knees in the street, distraught, shakily saying, "I didn't mean to..." It's a very serious and emotional scene that —

— is immediately tempered by this guy waking up, complete with a cute 'pop!' sound effect when he opens his eyes.

This is YYH's brand, this Very Serious Circumstances skillfully interwoven with casual indifference/comedy. It's admittedly far from a unique brand, but it's an excellent choice given that this is the same attitude that will drive 99% of our protagonist's interaction with the world.

Speaking of said protagonist, our guy wakes up, opens his eyes, and realizes that he's floating. There's a great, disorientating shot from his perspective where everything is upside down, causing him to nearly fall out of the air. Well would you look at that, he's as confused as we are. It's our audience surrogate!

A narrator says, "And so it all begins. This boy's name is Yusuke, he's fourteen years old, and he's supposed to be the hero of this story. But oddly enough, he's dead."

Game of Thrones might have made it popular, but YYH did it better.

(Yeah, yeah, I know one death kick-starts the journey and the other is a shocking twist. Just let me have this.)

Now, it's a weird introduction, right? At least at the end. The announcement that change has occurred, a name, an age... that all checks out. But "supposed to be the hero"? What the hell is that “supposed to” mean? Our narrator gives us the easy, surface answer: "But oddly enough, he's dead." We're capitalizing here on the audience's expectation that death ends a character's journey and though they may have been a hero previously, they can no longer be one moving forward. That function within the story has passed. So it's this intriguing question of, "What kind of hero do you have when that hero is dead from the start?" but as we'll see soon, there's an additional meaning here of, "How can Yusuke be the hero?" As this premiere sets up, Yusuke doesn't act like the hero is “supposed to” act. 

Until he saved this kid.

But right now he's just confused: "Okay, this is weird. Stupid weird."

Two EMTs arrive on the scene and are hilariously useless. You know how in any medical drama a doctor will stop CPR after a couple of seconds because obviously you're not going to spend half the episode on realism? Well, that's this only a thousand times worse. One guy just looks at the kid and announces he's fine except for some bumps and bruises. Meanwhile, the kid is sobbing.

"Well, at least one of them is," replies the other EMT, because I guess he can tell Yusuke is beyond hope without taking a pulse or anything? "I hate cleanup," he complains as they load his body onto a stretcher because that's? An empathetic response to have??

Honestly this scene is wild.

Yusuke is understandably upset that he's, you know, dead and all. He starts hounding the EMTs who, unable to hear him, just go about their business of taking the kid and his body to the hospital. "You think you can just do whatever you want because you have that stupid uniform on? You can't just write me off. Listen to me!" and Yusuke tries to punch one of the EMTs in the head, resulting in him floating right through.

What a great way to introduce your protagonist's personality. We see here that when things go wrong Yusuke's default emotion is anger and it starts creeping in even before he thinks the others are ignoring him: "Stupid weird." He has problems with authority — "You think you can just do whatever you want because you have that stupid uniform on?" — is used to others listening when he gets angry — "You can't just write me off!" — and is poised to use violence at the slightest provocation. Yusuke is a guy who, right now at least, is ready to punch first and ask questions later.

As Yusuke floats back up into the air and the ambulance drives away, he finally cools down enough to try and think his way out of this. "It's not like this is the first time you've been in a jam,” he thinks. Yusuke recalls that yeah, something was different about today...

...he actually went to school.

Catch me laughing that this idiot boy equates the weirdness of him dying with going to school. Good lord. 

Anyway, this jumpstarts our flashback. We open on a generic, anime middle school (that always feels like a high school to me) where the principal is calling for Yusuke through the loud speaker. Oooo someone’s in trouble! We follow a young girl up to the rooftop and she gets a classic hair-blowing-in-the-wind moment to  establish that she's our love interest. Meet Keiko Yukimura.

Keiko finds Yusuke hanging out and immediately starts lecturing him for trying to chew gum and refusing to wear the boys' uniform. "Oh, give me a break, Keiko. I look better in green." Note that it's here we learn her name and it's an easy, casual way to introduce it. I bring this up because Yusuke's introduction via our narrator is very much... not that. It's an on your nose statement about his name, age, and importance to the story, and if you're just starting the show in 2021, it might come across as a rather armature move. Like something out of a kid's show, perhaps. Yet here we see that this was a deliberate choice, considering that YYH is capable of introducing character information naturally when it wants to.

This moment also tells us that Yusuke cares a great deal about his image. More on that in a bit. Because Keiko isn't finished her list of grievances yet, going on to say that his attendance record has hurt their entire class, hurt her as class representative, and if he keeps going down this path he won't even graduate middle school. "Sometimes I think you don't care about anyone but yourself and then you don't even do that right!"

They're legit complaints. Too bad Yusuke is busy looking up Keiko's skirt.

Yeeeeah. Sadly, this is common for anime, particularly a 90s anime like YYH. Even presumably more progressive series like My Hero Academia feature characters like Mineta, whose entire personality is being a pervert, and the creation of abilities that "require" kids/young women to be scantily clad. See: Yaoyorozu. YYH is no different in this regard, with various forms of sexual harassment functioning as a shorthand for how much Yusuke secretly likes Keiko. "Boys will be boys," right? Obviously not. 

Like so many others series, the creators get away with it because they’re framing it as a bad thing. It's totally fine because look, Keiko slaps him! This is  teaching the viewer how wrong this behavior is. Never mind that this is clearly an established habit between them, that Yusuke laughs off Keiko's discomfort, and that the whole scene is meant to be funny for the viewer. That's the real purpose here; it’s not a PSA on harassment. 

That, and to establish the long-suffering love Keiko has for Yusuke in turn, largely stemming from a life-long friendship. "Dumb boy! He hasn't grown up a bit since he was four years old." We see that Keiko's early interactions with Yusuke have given her insight that others lack. As she heads down from the roof she runs into two girls hiding around the corner, too scared to come out lest "the great Urameshi" set his sights on them. Isn't Keiko terrified of what he might do to her? "Or worse, what others might say of it?" Like any classic high school middle school setting, one's reputation is king. Yusuke cares about how others see him — maintaining that tough boy attitude — and the girls care more about what the rest of the school might think of Keiko's interactions with him than the presumed harm Yusuke could do to her. They heard he can summon 2,000 men with just a whistle and that he "kills for fun!" But that means nothing in the face of people talking about you. Despite being one of the most popular girls in school, Keiko is the outsider here via her disinterest in what other people think.

The animation changes here, giving us a good look at how the girls picture Yusuke: tough, scowling, surrounded by shadows, and backed by an entire army.

In contrast, we've already seen what Yusuke is really like.

Keiko laughs the image off too. Yusuke is more like a "lamb" than a killer and besides, he couldn't order around two people, let alone two hundred. "He doesn't have many friends."

"That's not what I heard," says one of the girls. 

"Yeah," goes the other. "I think we would know." 

Again, rumors rule here, with whispers in the hall considered more reliable than someone who interacts with Yusuke on a daily basis. Keiko doesn’t have a hope of changing their minds. 

Oh, as a side note, I love that they gave Keiko Miyazaki-esque hair. It's very emotive.

Yusuke escapes outside where the principal is still calling for him to report to his office. He overhears a conversation around the corner and we cut to two boys, one of which is showing a wallet off to the other. He explains that some bully tried to rough him up, but he said he was Urameshi's cousin and the bully took off, dropping his wallet in the process. The guy's friend is impressed, but what is he going to do if Yusuke ever finds out he lied? Not to worry, he says, that "blockhead" would probably think it's true even if he did somehow hear.

Yusuke, obviously, does hear about this and he, also obviously, does not believe this guy is his cousin. He looms ominously and they scurry up against a wall, terrified and offering him the wallet as an apology.

"You think I want your money?" Yusuke yells.

YYH is, in many respects, a rather simple story, but I appreciate the hints of complexity in these otherwise straightforward interactions. It's not that this guy used Yusuke's name to steal a wallet, he used it as a form of protection against another bully — a far more sympathetic motivation. It's not that Yusuke's fearsome reputation has resulted in any genuine respect because once people think they're safe they reveal how little they think of his intelligence — he's a "blockhead." And Yusuke, though intimidating and violent, is not your average, schoolyard bully. He doesn't care about money, only the insult and the damage this guy using his name might have done to his reputation. There's a little more nuance here than you might otherwise expect.

Also, note how dark the boys' standard uniforms are and how much they blend into the rest of the world. Yusuke, as our protagonist, stands out in his bright clothing. He was right, he does look better in green!

So he's ready to clobber this kid when one of the teachers arrive: Mr. Iwamoto.

Iwamoto demands to know what's going on, but the boys are too terrified to rat Yusuke out. Noticing the wallet on the ground, he assumes that Yusuke was after their money, something that greatly offends him: "Whatever!" Iwamoto goes on to say that, "No good weeds like you should have been plucked a long time ago," making it clear that he considers Yusuke a hopeless case. The positive aspects that Keiko sees, as well as the complexity the viewer sees — to say nothing of his introduction of saving a kid — aren’t considered here.

Notably, Iwamoto exists in part to show us what Yusuke could become. Not a teacher (he's obviously not attending school enough for that!), but a cynical man who is cruel for cruelty's sake. Yusuke is already barreling down that path, ignoring Keiko's advice, terrorizing other students, trying to punch EMTs, etc. If his life (or afterlife...) hadn't changed through that accident, this is the kind of person Yusuke might have grown up to be, and we can see that clearly in the visual parallels between them. Dark haired men dressed in green who scowl with ease and toss out cutting insults. Yusuke is staring his future in the face.

For now he walks off with a final shot, "You shouldn't talk. It makes you sound stupid." This time Yusuke makes it to the school's entrance and tries to enjoy his second attempt at chewing gum, but someone hits him in the back of the head.

"Okay, somebody's DEAD — ah. Sorry, old man."

"That's Mr. Takenaka to you."

Our principal has finally left the office and hunted down Yusuke for himself! Putting this interaction immediately after the one with Iwamoto allows the viewer to compare them. Yusuke might be irreverent towards his principal, but it's clear there's still some kind of respect between them. Yusuke only starts threatening because he doesn’t realize who hit him and once he does realize it's Takenaka, he immediately apologizes. That "old man" comes across as a teasing insult and Yusuke allows himself to be briefly dragged back towards school, rather than throwing a now classic punch. In turn, Takenaka cares enough about Yusuke to try and keep him on the straight and narrow. He utilizes Yusuke's preferred language — violence — but in a casual way, nonthreatening way: slight hit to the back of his head, noogie, pulling him along by the ear. 

It's the sort of physicality we're used to seeing in media between a parent and child who are outwardly antagonistic, but actually share a deep bond. Takenaka is also careful to frame their return to his office as a "discussion," not a punishment, and offers Yusuke tea along with the conversation. Whereas Iwamoto considers Yusuke to be a "weed" that should have been plucked from their school long ago, Takenaka is determined to help Yusuke bloom.

If we're continuing the flower metaphor :D

Yusuke isn't in the mood to play along though. He gets away by using a fake ear, startling Takenaka when it unexpectedly pulls free. Yusuke escapes the school grounds and Takenaka, suffering a back twinge from his fall, can't chase after him. Poor guy. I understand that pain lol.

Yusuke heads home where we're introduced to his mother, Atsuko. Most notable in her first shot is the soft lighting that highlights her looks. We're not told how old she is here, but I believe she's around 28 — and she looks it, if not younger. Given that Yusuke is 14, that means Atsuko was a mom at his age. This is a quick and subtle way to tell us about Yusuke's home life. There are more overt details in this scene — it's at least lunchtime and Atsuko hasn't left her bed yet, she demands that Yusuke make her coffee instead of greeting him, it's all meant to imply (before we actually see) that she's an alcoholic — but her age is another way to highlight the broken household here. There's no partner in sight and she clearly had Yusuke as a teenager. He hasn't had a strong parental figure to take care of him. If anything, Yusuke is taking care of Atsuko here.

"Oh great, mother of the year!" basically sums things up.

Atsuko wants to know why Yusuke isn't in school and he says that everyone is pissing him off today, particularly with their preaching. "Dear, if you hate preaching so much you should live on your own... but you can't do that, can you?" Alongside a rough upbringing, Yusuke is suffering from the common problem of being trapped in a dead-end life. He hates his school, his town, and coming home to find his mom hungover. Yusuke has no prospects and, outside of one principal, no one who is actively working to help him find some. Even the little things he hates, like being preached to, are unavoidable because if you want to live on your own, that requires money. Good luck pulling that off as a middle schooler whose only skill is street fighting!

Yusuke walks off in a huff, literally shouting in a street about what a bad day he's having (and hilariously scaring off pedestrians in the process). His shout brings trouble though. A couple guys appear to ambush him, their boss close behind. The music increases the tension, Yusuke's expression is serious, and we even get a Dutch angle thrown into the mix. 

For any who don't know, the Dutch angle is a popular film technique to establish that something is wrong. There's tension in the scene, something uneasy is at play, and the world is now literally off center. It's perhaps most famously used in Do The Right Thing to establish the friction between an Italian-American pizzeria and the predominantly African American neighborhood it's based in.

But it's also used a great deal in horror as a way to say: yup, shit just got real. Scary real.

This Dutch angle introduces a character you may not appreciate at first, but absolutely should: Kazuma Kuwabara.

He's initially the comic relief and that's clear in his introduction. Within seconds we move from that intimidating arrival to, well, seeing him. To be clear, I've got nothing against redheads with big chins, but compared to Yusuke's design, Kuwabara is meant to be the funny looking one. His threat level plummets the moment we get a look at his face, especially in a series that will occasionally use looks as a (supposed) measure of intelligence. 

Also, Kuwabara is dressed in light blue so, like Yusuke, we know he's important!

Any assumptions that his appearance isn’t meant to imply a goofy, embarrassing personality are put to rest when Kuwabara starts rambling about how they last time they fought Yusuke just got a cheap shot in and he'll definitely win this time. Yeah, he won't. Yusuke is thrilled by this diversion though and we get a shot of him looking almost as creepy as Keiko's friends think he is. Whatever else might be said about Yusuke, he is absolutely a monster in a fight.

Which we see here. If anyone picked up the series without knowing this was a fighting anime, they'll realize it now. Yusuke's choreography is stylized to show off his skill: he disappears with a 'whoosh' and dark lines to suggest inhuman speed,

attacking Kuwabara with a knee to the face, utilizes flying kicks, lands perfect, precision punches, and ends it all with the toe-tip landing we've come to expect of all powerful fighters. Kuwabara never even got a hit in. 

Happy as a clam now, Yusuke wanders off whistling and Kuwabara's friends are left to pick up the pieces. AKA, his likely broken bones. I love that they're legit friends though and not just nameless goons for the sake of giving Kuwabara a small gang (though their names won't come up until later). "That makes 0 wins an 156 loses!" one of them cries, trying to get Kuwabara to stop ending up in the hospital, probably. We establish that Kuwabara is The Most Dramatic Ever when he pulls his broken body into a seated position, shouting, "No! I almost had him that time!"

Then he passes out.

Kuwabara, honey, you obviously did not almost have him, but god bless you for the outlook. The most optimistic thing on this Earth is a well-loved Golden Retriever, but Kuwabara comes in at a very close second.

With his dream to one day beat Yusuke in combat established, we cut to Yusuke wandering the street where the episode opened. "Okay, I'm remembering" he says in a voiceover. "After that I met the kid."

The soccer ball reappears as it rolls to a stop at Yusuke's feet. He grabs it and immediately starts yelling at the kid. Horrible protagonist, right? Well, Yusuke is trying to instill in him the danger of using this street as a playground, a worry the viewer already knows is 100% justified. “Listen, kid, that’s dangerous! There are cars going by that will splatter you into the pavement!” It's one of those quick moments where we get to enjoy Yusuke's duality: he's someone who is nearly making a toddler cry, but for rather understandable reasons. He's got the right idea, but needs to go about it in a more mature manner.

Which is precisely what he attempts to do. Sort of. Yusuke changes gears, though whether it's a more "mature" route is certainly up for debate lol. He tries entertaining the kid instead, raising and lowering the soccer ball to reveal goofy faces.

When these fail to impress, Yusuke goes full out by stuffing the ball into his pants, pushing his nose up with a pair of chopsticks he got from god knows where, and generally just putting on a display.

So Yusuke cares very deeply about his reputation... but only when it comes to those who are an established part of his life. Keiko, Mr. Takenaka, and the other kids at school all need to maintain a particular image of Yusuke, one that he's carefully cultivated. But random pedestrians on the street? Who cares about them? Let them talk.

This shows us that Yusuke does indeed have priorities over his own, selfish goals. Namely, the happiness of some kid is more important to him than looking "cool" for a bunch of strangers. Lots of characters with Yusuke's surface attitude would sneer at the idea of degrading themselves for — their words — some brat. But Yusuke, as we constantly see, actually does have that heart of gold. “Well, if all else fails I can still make kids happy.”

Although... I'm not sure what to make of his display itself. I have the distinct sense that there's something prejudiced here that I'm not able to fully articulate, what with the chopsticks, slanted eyes, bald head, and the like, though to be entirely frank I don't have enough knowledge of Japan's history to say precisely what it might be. Or, really, whether it exists at all. Just something to chew on.

What I am sure about though is the importance of having the child label Yusuke as monster — "Yeah, monster! — but in a delighted manner. Yusuke is indeed some kind a monster, someone who disappoints adults and terrifies his classmates, a demon fighter on the streets too, but here that identity is reworked into something positive.

Having successful secured a laugh, Yusuke tells the kid — calmly this time — to go play elsewhere. The toddler stares up at him with the blank expression only kids can manage.

Well, kids and whatever headspace I'm in after writing these metas.

To absolutely no one's surprise except Yusuke's, the kid does not go elsewhere. Instead, he continues kicking the ball down the street, causing Yusuke to exclaim, “Dammit, what’s the use? The kid can get smashed by a car for all I care!” Liar, liar. 

The picture becomes desaturated as the kid kicks the ball and it flies into the street, time slowing down to show it landing precisely in the middle of the road. Yusuke again yells for him to stay put, but when has a toddler ever listened? He begins to walk into the road as our driver arrives, speeding, swerving, and paying more attention to the girl at his side than what's in front of him.

This time, we see the accident from the front with both Yusuke and the kid presented equally.

There's a cut to black and when we return we're in the present, Yusuke floating above the policemen now investigating the scene. “So that’s it? I’m roadkill?” As Yusuke realizes he's dead, specifically that he's a ghost, a voice goes,

"Bingo! Bingo! You win the prize!"

A woman has appeared who is quite obviously othered by the standards of the episode so far. Unlike the greens, blues, and browns of the series' modern clothes, she's dressed in hot pink kimono with blue hair to match. She's also, you know, floating on an oar.

“I didn’t expect you to figure it out so quickly," she says, referring to Yusuke's revelation that he's dead. Apparently, those who meet unexpected and/or violent ends tend to take some time coming to terms with their demise. It's a nice acknowledgment of Yusuke's intelligence in an interaction that's otherwise... not great for his self-esteem.

Meaning, this woman is about to drag him lol.

She introduces herself as Botan, pilot of the River Styx and guider of souls to the afterlife. You might also know her as the Grim Reaper.

(Hey, RWBY fans: I originally wrote that as Grimm Reaper 🤦‍♀️)

It's an claim Yusuke takes issue with because 1. Botan is too pretty to be the Grim Reaper and 2. If she was really some god of death she'd be taking this much more seriously, not laughing and saying, "Bingo!" For the audience this does two things. First, it acknowledges our own expectations and validates them. Yusuke's world isn't so far removed from our own that he takes Botan's looks and personality at face value, he also expected a skeleton with a scythe. So don't worry, all the weird stuff in this series is weird to our protagonist too. They'll be explanations. Or, even if there’s not, you’re not wrong for being surprised. 

Second, it sets up the very common theme in YYH of undermining those common assumptions again and again and again. We've already seen it with Yusuke, wherein characters who look and act a certain way are, supposedly, destined to be that person and nothing more. Yusuke is meant to be just a "weed," a dumb, violent, angry loser who goes nowhere in life... but we already know he's more than that. Botan is supposed to be scary and serious, but she says nah, I want to be cute and bubbly instead. No character in YYH embodies who they're "supposed" to be when you look past those surface characterizations. They play the part of archetypes — and do keep certain parts of their expected personalities — but they're also far more well-rounded than that. Which yeah, is something most people expect from any story nowadays, but YYH is particularly adept at making you think you're watching Simple Show A only to turn around and surprise you with More Complex Show B.

It's great, trust me.

So Yusuke is pissed that Botan isn't adhering to those expectations, in the same way that he works hard to validate others expectations of him. He doesn't know how to deal with someone challenging his world view yet. Rather than angering Botan though, she just nods and says that this response makes sense for him. “Rather than being scared, or surprised, you yell a lot and tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about." Taking out a notebook, she quickly summarizes everything we learned in the flashback — minus Yusuke's complexities: he's fourteen, in middle school, is ill-tempered, violent, hates authority, and is a horrible student.

Typically, Yusuke responds by getting angry and trying to snatch the booklet out of her hands, only for Botan to pull it out of his reach, laughing. The tables have turned! Rather than being surrounded by people who cower at Yusuke's imposed authority, he now finds himself faced with someone who laughs at his transparent attempts to take control of the situation.

Calming down, Yusuke wants to know if the kid he saved is really alright and Botan offers to let him see for himself. That offer produces Yusuke's first, genuine smile.

They fly to the hospital where a doctor is in the process of giving the kid a clean bill of health, his mother crying with relief. 

That's enough for Yusuke. “Alright, Botan, I’ve got no regrets, so you can take me to hell or wherever it is I’m going.”

That tells you all you need to know about Yusuke's self-worth, despite his bad boy attitude. His life is a dead-end as far as he can see and most of those around him haven't done anything to dissuade him of that idea. He says he doesn't care if the kid lives or dies, but then instinctively saves him. Post his death, Yusuke doesn't have anything he considers a regret, or anything he'd like to do before he leaves, like saying goodbye to a loved one. Oh, he's also pretty sure he's going to hell and has resigned himself to that without a fight.

Uplifting!

Botan just laughs though, saying that she's actually here to offer Yusuke an "ordeal" that could bring him back to life. See, he wasn't supposed to die today — let alone die saving a kid — and frankly they don't know what to do with him. It's another neat summary of what we've already learned: Yusuke is a far more complicated case than the afterlife assumed and now, when push comes to shove, deciding whether he belongs in heaven or hell is... muddled.

There's a fantastic story there about the problems with an afterlife that reduces a person's entire life to a few surface characteristics recorded in a book, refusing to acknowledge the context of their situation, or their capacity for change. “Run someone with your credentials a thousand times and they never would have saved a kid like that." Except, of course, Yusuke did save him, so those "credentials" are suspect, to say the least. However, YYH is not a story that explores these issues. Instead, I recommend you watch this!

Rather than being upset at the afterlife's low opinion of him (because let's be real, Yusuke shares it), he latches onto a little detail Botan let slip. If he wasn't supposed to die today... then was the kid?

Mmm... no. Actually, without the chaos of Yusuke jumping into the road, the driver would have swerved at the last second and the kid would have not only lived, but actually come out with one less scrape.

So Yusuke is obviously upset by this news! I would be too!! Holy shit, hang onto the "it's the thought that counts" message with everything you've got.

Also, don't think too much about the fact that the afterlife apparently knows exactly what will happen to people, down to how many cuts they accumulate in an accident. Also, don't think too much about where the afterlife foreseeing the crash begins and the unexpectedness of Yusuke interfering ends. That way lies madness. This will never come up again, so just let it go.

Sorry, 2013 me hijacked the post for a second.

As said, Yusuke is understandably upset by this revelation and as he fumes I'm reminded that this series likes to pull some amazing expressions.

Botan reiterates that it's all fine because Yusuke can come back to life. Weren't you listening? He should feel honored, in fact, considering that an offer like this only arrives every 100 years or so. Well, that explains why all of humanity isn't grappling with people coming back to life on the daily. One person every generation isn't going to cause much of a stir.

However, instead of jumping at the chance Yusuke announces that Botan is just like the teachers at school: she doesn't know what she's talking about. “You said yourself my life was kind of pathetic, right?” he says, going on to explain that everyone will be happier now that he's dead. His school won't have to deal with his behavior, Keiko won't have to nag him, and his mom will be able to party whenever she wants. It's a win-win for everyone involved. 

Hmm, this feels familiar. 

Don't worry, Yusuke doesn't need to experience a whole alternate reality to get the message.

“I’m sorry you feel that way at such an early age," Botan says and she is sorry, because despite her teasing nature that's a legitimately horrifying thing to believe. Yusuke won't budge though and after a little back-and-forth Botan leaves, telling Yusuke he should think it over while visiting his wake. She'll come back once he decides what to do.

“Do you have worms in your ears, lady? I did decide!” but Botan is long gone.

We cut to that night where Yusuke has indeed decided to attend his own wake. Maybe because of Botan's advice, maybe because he's just morbidly curious. We’re not given insight into the decision. 

Atsuko is a mess, to put it mildly, not dressed for the occasion and sitting slumped against the way, staring vacantly as the guests offer their condolences. Yusuke is surprised by the fact that his entire class is here, but quickly writes them off when he sees two of the boys laughing. I'm on the fence about this detail, which I'll unpack in just a second.

First though, Yusuke sees Keiko exiting the house, inconsolable in her grief. She collapses on the ground with her two friends trying to offer comfort, despite the fact that they had nothing good to say about Yusuke himself. Good on them.

Before he can think too long on this though, Yusuke is distracted by Kuwabara's arrival. Unlike Keiko's crying, he expresses his grief through yelling. Specifically, yelling at Yusuke. For dying. For daring to "run away." His own friends are physically holding him back as he charges into the wake, screaming, “Who am I gonna fight now, huh? Who am I gonna fight?" It's not really about the fighting, of course. At least, not the fighting alone. "You’re supposed to be here for me," Kuwabara finishes, the punch he's thrown at Yusuke's photo going limp and catching his first tear.

You know, for all the  goofy expressions, this show really is gorgeous. Just wait until we get to the fight animations.

Kuwabara's reaction is why I hesitate to write off the classmates like Yusuke has. Granted, we have no reason to believe that they care for him as Kuwabara does — they're nameless background characters defined only by their terror of "the great Urameshi" — but it's still a split second taken out of context. We don't know what they were laughing at, or if laughing is a part of their grief. God knows I personally laugh at the most inappropriate moments. If you tell me someone has just died there is a very good chance I will laugh awkwardly as I try to process that. It’s just a reflex. All of which I bring up not because these side characters are important, but because Yusuke's perception of his own worth is. The point of each of these moments is to show that those around him have always cared for him, even if Yusuke didn't notice. It's nice to think that extends to his classmates too. The variety likewise exists to show us how people grieve differently, with Kuwabara's friends not understanding that this is how he's working through the trauma: “This place is for mourning!” He is mourning, even if his way of mourning isn't as socially acceptable as Keiko's. So if screaming and throwing punches is valid, crying is valid, staring stoically in a drunk stupor is valid... why not laughter too?

Not likely, perhaps, but possible.

As an additional possibility to chew on, watching this premier again, it struck me how more emotional Kuwabara's scene is compared to Keiko's. Don't get me wrong, crying and calling Yusuke’s name gets the point across, but it's two seconds of generic grief compared to a much longer scene rife with intensity. When Kuwabara arrives the music swells and everyone is forced to pay attention to him. His grief is loud, violent, and given symbolism with his fist and the photo. There's more effort put into his reaction, frankly, so it wouldn't surprise me if fans started shipping them after this. That grief combined with an "enemies to lovers" possibility is a pretty potent mix. To be clear, Yusuke/Keiko is the (oh so obvious) canonical endgame and in the fandom Yusuke/Kuwabara can't compare to another slash ship that will turn up later, but this is a good example of how writers can craft some Very Gay Scenes without realizing it. When you have the girl crying prettily for a second and the guy absolutely losing his mind over Yusuke's death, questioning his purpose now, his support network, and then collapsing in grief... don't be surprised if your audience goes, "Oh hey, maybe they'd be a good couple instead."

But I digress.

The only people who are unquestioningly happy about Yusuke's passing are Mr. Iwamoto and his co-conspirator, Mr. Akashi. You know Akashi is another bad guy because he has bucked teeth and "ugliness" is an easy way to code for evilness. YYH is not immune to those mistakes :/

These two are really something else though, standing in the middle of a wake and claiming it's “too bad that car wasn’t big enough for them too," referring to Kuwabara and his friends. Wow! What stellar members of the academic community. Iwamoto goes on to say that Yusuke dying at least accomplished something good. Not, mind you, saving the life of a child, but rather looking good for their school's reputation. Akashi agrees, but says it's likely Yusuke only accidentally saved him while trying to steal the kid's lunch money. Remember, that accusation of theft is the one thing Yusuke has said outright that he does not do.

He's pissed listening to all this — wouldn't you be? — but knows by now he can't do anything about it. In another fantastic shot, Yusuke hovers his hand over Iwamoto's shoulder, desperate to grab him, when Takenaka's arrives there instead.

“What do you suppose is more disgraceful? That boy showing his misery, or your insensitive and idiotic words!”

HELL YEAH. You tell 'em, Mr. Takenaka.

Yusuke gets his third shock of the night at this passionate defense. Takenaka leaves the teachers to go pay his respects, but admits to Yusuke's picture that he just can't speak well of him. He was surprised to hear that Yusuke gave up his life for another and it's a fact that he acted selfishly. Though he doesn't say it in as many words, Takenaka explains that he's not grieving because Yusuke was a good person, but because it's so clear to him that he might have been. “Why didn’t you stay? You could have made something great out of yourself.”

Normally, "Why didn't you stay?" is just something for the living to grapple with, as the dead obviously don't have any say in what happens to them. But Yusuke does. It's here that the lighting grows soft again and Yusuke considers Takenaka's words. Keiko and Kuwabara grieve for who he was, but Takenaka grieves for who Yusuke could have been — someone that might still exist if Yusuke decides to undergo this ordeal.

Atsuko adds fuel to the emotional fire, breaking down and hiding her face in her knees.

Finally, the kid Yusuke saved arrives with his mother. Because yes, Yusuke saved him in every way that matters, considering no one else knows — or will know — that he'd have lived anyway. I like that the show doesn't allow that knowledge to undermine the emotion of their arrival, or what Yusuke’s act meant to them. 

The mom tells her son to pay his respects and the kid thanks Yusuke for saving him, and for "making faces." He clearly doesn't get what's going on here. This is confirmed as the two leave and he asks his mom if he can play with Yusuke again tomorrow. “I know some people sounded angry at him, but he’s really nice!" 

They're probably just crying because they want to play with him too, he thinks, which just makes his mom join in. Everyone is crying in this club tonight.

Those words are the cincher for Yusuke and with a brief montage of all the grief he's witnessed, he makes his decision.

We cut to later that night where Yusuke floats above the city, admiring the moon. Botan reappears and he asks, “Have you ever not known about something that seemed obvious to everyone else?” Yes, everyone has experienced that at one point or another. She asks if he's made his decision and Yusuke agrees to try and come back to life.

Emotional revelations out of the way, we're allowed another tone shift as Botan yells with joy, speeding off and causing Yusuke to grab hold of the end of her oar, lest he be left behind. Cranky as always, he demands to know where they're going. "To the spirit world, of course!" They're off to see someone who can explain the ordeal and give Yusuke the tool needed to complete it. Just hang on and enjoy the ride.

Thus ends our very first episode! Ah, the nostalgia. This is part one of a four arc series, with the anime cutting out a lot of the filler stories found at the start of the manga — a smart decision, I think. They primarily do the work of teaching Yusuke what he learned at the wake, so if you can accomplish that as quickly as the adaptation did, all the better. Especially since Yusuke needs to grow a great deal beyond the basic understanding that people might, sort of care for him, and that work will occur primarily through a job he's going to take on. The series isn't really about his death and it's not about an attempt to come back either — it's about what happens once you get that second chance. So this is the setup, but it's important setup all the same.

No need to skip ahead though. I've blathered enough for one recap. I hope you enjoyed and I'll see you when the writing gods next bless me with energy! 💜

[zwei-the-penguin-with-a-pen]

‘Stars’

So, this one isn't going to be much of a narrative story, really, just an account of my experiences meeting the cast of RWBY at NebKon. I'll try and make an actual story out of it, but no promises. You guys know, ZweI is a bit of a spazz when it comes to stuff like this.

ANYWAY, two days before the Kon our saga begins!

"ZWEI!" I hear after roaming the bus station for more than a few minutes. I look across the street and lay my eyes on Regular-Sized Jimmy. I say 'regular-sized' because in some circles I'm known as Little Jimmy. This Jimmy doesn't actually know me by either of those names and calls me my real one, but that isn't really anyone's business but mine.

So I grab my bag and haul across the street once the crosswalk lights permit me, and before I can even get in the car Jimmy begins to complain. This, that or the other, just general Kon stuff and things. This wouldn't be a problem if we hadn't had to drive all around Omaha during high-ish traffic and do fifty thousand errands even though one of us just got off a damned day-long bus ride.

RSJ's errands include picking up the Bobb, one of the housemates, bringing her to Omaha Oriental THE COOLEST SHOP KNOWN TO MAN BY THE WAY IF YOU EVER FIND YOURSELF IN OMAHA YOU SHOULD MAKE THE SCENE so she can acquire Kon supplies, a phrase which here means 'all manner of Asian junk food', and stopping at Lowe's for something or other for RSJ to finish his cosplay.

Finally, we make it to their house. My bestie is still at work, most unfortunately, but the wonderful Mick is home. She'd stayed home sick from work, which is never a good thing to have to do, but she felt better by the Kon. Good times to be had by all. After a hug and a few words, I go straight to 'my room' which is in disarray because it's only a storage area.

Mick apologizes for not having the room cleaned and ready for me, and I tell her to do no such thing. Also, I have just realized, as in just now at the time of this writing, that I'm writing in present tense. It fits well, even though I don't like the style, so I guess I'll keep it just this time.

Around 11, my bestie texts me that his occupational imprisonment has ended. I'm so glad he'll be home soon. Once he makes the scene he knocks on my door and proceeds to crash into my bed. Hang time ensues, as it's easier to stay awake with him talking to me. The rest of the roomies are quieter than I'm used to, so I had been dozing off here and there.

DAY BEFORE CON! RSJ works frantically to finish his cosplay, enlisting much help from Mick and at one point trying to recruit me. I inform him that I'm terrible with a paintbrush and would do more harm than good. Ooh, did I mention the Bobb bought takoyaki and shared with us? Good stuff, as far as fried balls of cabbage and octopus go. That was the night before. Anywho...

I try and get a jump on my writing challenge, knowing full well the Kon will swallow all my time the next three days. Bestie has work again because EFF BUCKY AND HIS CONVENIENCE STORE I mean what? I said no such thing! How dare you incinerate that I can't use big words!!

Sorry... not sorry at all. WAHAHAHAHA

FRIDAY, FIRST DAY OF CON!!!

Get packed, stop for breakfast at two in the afternoon, and suddenly we're at the Kon.

And I see cosplay before we ever even park the car. A Garnet from Steven Universe walks by us and we cheer for them. A Doctor Mercy, like from Overwatch but not in her battle gear, parks next to us.

We finally make it into the hotel and I'm completely mystified. There's cosplay everywhere. Did I mention this was my first nerd convention? I go to the check-in area and show my three-day pass to acquire my t-shirt. Then, whatever my bestie and I try to do after that repeatedly becomes entirely derailed as I become enamored with every other cosplayer that walked by me.

RWBY cosplayers seem to be the order of the weekend. I see more Noras and Yangs and Rubys than anything, but there are Torchwicks and Neos and even the occasional Adam. As the Kon goes on I see more Blakes, which is never a bad thing as she's my fave, and Jaunes and Rens and PYRRHAS. I miss my waifu. It's a shame she was murdered, but it was destiny or something.

She was based on Achilles...

Bestie and I make a couple of panels, including 'Walking in Godzilla's Footsteps' which is basically constructing a city out of cardboard boxes and destroying it over an over again. We meet Avatar Aang and Toph Beifong as well as Lord Raiden and even the real Nora Valkyrie. She worked on the Kon staff and was ALWAYS in character. Someone even asked me if she was Samantha Ireland because she had the voice down so well

She wasn't. I tell you, SHE WAS THE REAL NORA! She escaped into our world and wreaked havoc upon us. Unfortunately, she didn't break my legs. Oh well, maybe next time.

Next panel we make is Voice Acting 101, featuring Erica Lindbeck and Arryn Zech. MY BAE IS IN THE SAME ROOM AS ME YOU GUYS! And she's talking to Barbie, apparently. Yep, Erica Lindbeck is the voice actor for Barbie. Every time you see those Target holiday commercials, THAT'S MY GIRL! Also, we find out that Arryn is a massive Digimon fan. Ah, can I count the reasons I love this woman?

The first RWBY signing is right after this panel. We make the scene to find that the line has wrapped around two hallways. After nearly two hours of waiting they close the door on us. We never even got close. Good thing they were signing all three days.

Bestie and I make a short trip to Runza. Good eats, by the way. 12/10 would recommend. When we get back, we finally go to the hotel room and release most of the stuff we've been carrying and decide what we're to do next. I decide to take a rest before whatever the next panel I'm interested in, and I ended up crashing until after midnight and missing it. I catch up with bestie around 1:30, and we make the IT'S 2 AM AND WE'RE STILL GOING panel.

We roam around a bit longer after that before retiring to the room for all of two to three hours of sleep.

SATURDAY! The RWBY signing for this day is stupid early, so we leave the room by 8 and make the scene, and there's already a bit of a line. We end up in line behind a Penny, a Nora and a Ruby that are all friends. This Nora becomes known as 'Nora with the Hammer' because she had a Magnhild prop that was twice her height. Also, I need a title to differentiate from Duct Tape Nora who I met the day before and had an incredible cosplay.

Behind us are a couple fellow muggle folks, and Bestie gets to talking with them about My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I pop in and out until they start talking about RWBY, at which point I spazz. Naturally. Oh yeah, the line finally starts moving, and before long we can see the doors of the room. Omaha D was the room in question.

Sometime during this wait, I see two professional cosplayers dressed as Ren and Pyrrha and beg for their picture. This happens a lot with different cosplays. Before much longer we're in the room and I can hardly contain myself.

Lindsay Jones notices my bestie's Rainbow Dash shirt and proclaims for the whole room to hear that RAINBOW DASH IS BEST PONY! Bestie warns her that she's in a gigantic den of nerds and that saying such things could start a rumble. She's Lindsay, though, so she should be fine.

I come next, and she thanks me for supporting the show. I tell her it's shaping up to be my favorite anime but that it will be tough to top Yu Yu Hakusho. "Excellent choice! I love Kuwabara!"

"HE'S ON YOUR SHOW NOW! OF COURSE, YOU LOVE HIM!!" I shriek as she signs my sketchbook and the poster for my niblings.

Kara comes next, and I mispronounce her name. She says nothing about it, instead lightly complaining about how the staff wants the signees to cut conversations with the guests short and that her favorite part of signings is the talking.

I'm swiftly approaching my bae, you guys. I'm shook that I'm this close to her. I'm clutching my drawing of her for dear life. Bestie mentions that we went to the VA 101 panel, and she apologizes. He goes on to mention the Digimon thing, saying that he's also a superfan.

"Ooh, Bob's Burgers!" Is the first thing Arryn says to me, noticing my favorite shirt. She asks where I got it after she signs my things, and even asks for a picture of it. THERE'S A PICTURE OF ME ON ARRYN ZECH'S PHONE YOU GUYS!! I'm still shook.

She mentions her boyfriend, as his name is Bob, and I say that I used to watch his show, The 100, but I lost track of it because I'm terrible at watching shows. "So, I made you something..." I say, passing her the picture.

SHE WIGS OUT THAT I DREW HER! "WHOA! SHUT UP! THAT'S SO SWEET OF YOU!"

"I'm sorry I made your eyelash game so strong, but I'm glad you like it!" And then I ask her for a picture. And my soul leaves my body as I snap the photograph.

On to Barbara, still buzzing hard from Arryn. Barb makes puns at my bestie, as he made a joke about the Yang cosplayer a few people in front of us. "DUDE, YANG'S ABOUT TO MEET YANG! tHE UNIVERSE WILL IMPLODE!"

"Yeah, especially if they start cracking jokes..." I mention. Barb signs us and makes puns at us. Lovely times.

And finally, we reach Elizabeth Maxwell. In addition to Winter Schnee, we find out that she voiced Lady Urbosa from Breath of the Wild. Bestie tells her that she's her favorite Gerudo. I get an Urbosa poster for her to sign, planning to give it to Bestie. She notices my shirt and we talk Bob's for a minute.

And our mission is complete, so we make our way to the nearest eats we can find. After filling our faces we find our way to the vendors' block and proceed to spend more money than is humanly necessary. Soon we catch up with RSJ and Mick at a panel on cosplay fabrics. Later we catch the RWBY Q&A, and times are great until that business with that one guy that is not our friend.

We also see Her Majesty the King leaving the bar as we're heading into the jam with Bard and friends. THE BARD LET ME PLAY HIS GUITAR! WE JAMMED SO HARD YOU GUYS! So did everyone in the place. It was a beautiful time, it really was.

On Sunday, Bestie got signed by Todd Haberkorn for a friend of ours, and as he waited he found a Weird Al cosplayer WITH AN ACCORDION! Dance party shenanigans ensue, naturally.

We catch up again later and make the 'How'd We Do' review panel and Closing Ceremonies. We're super bummed that the Kon has just ended. We eventually make it back home, and I crash on his floor before I realize what's going on. The next afternoon I catch a bus back to Louisiana, still spinning from everything.

So yeah, that's how Remnant was made... or something.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I MET MY BAE!!!

*makes heart eyes for forever and a week*

\/\/\/\/\/

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Day 18: A VA dressed as their character

For once, I have more than a rant for this day. XD

But yeah, meeting them all was glorious.

Oh yeah, i’m finally caught up. Well, i will be when I finished the next fic. Formal wear. Hmm...

[jenmedsbookreviews]

Can four pictures really sum up my week? Well, if I’m being honest they come pretty close. Reading, paperwork, sunny skies and traffic jams. That’s what I’ve been up to. The sunny skies makes a nice change. Well … not a change exactly, it’s becoming quite repetitive now, but hey – we mustn’t complain.

So how has your week been? Good? Good. I had a pretty awesome one by all accounts. Monday, despite being at work (boo hiss) I had a pretty fabulous day as I was Netgalley approved for one of THE books I have been most anticipating all year, the first in James Oswald’s brand new Constance Fairchild series, No Time To Cry. Now I was in Dublin training on Monday so I started reading it in my lunch break. Carried on reading it in the airport where I was only disturbed by a small false fire alarm, boarding the plane and driving home. I know! Annoying right? Carried on reading when I got home, finished around two a.am. I am completely gutted now as reading it so quickly means I have ages to wait for the next book in either series but by ‘eck. It was good. Sooooooo good. This was my only Netgalley this week, but that’s no bad thing lol. And as I arrived home to a signed copy of The Reckoning by Yrsa Sigurdardottir courtesy of Goldsboro Books too, the day was pretty good all in all.

Tuesday was a work day (boo hiss) but I crammed in some reading in the evening, even though I was absolutely shattered from my early morning book binge. Wednesday was a little more exciting as I drove down to London for an early morning (six a.m.) appointment the following day, Whilst there it felt only polite to head along to the London launch for Louise Voss’ The Old You and Doug Johnstone’s Fault Lines. The sacrifices one makes for blogging huh?

A fabulous evening in the gallery of Collyer Bristow on Beford Row in some wonderful company. So nice to catch up with old friends, Vicki Goldman, Joy Kluver, Jacob Collins, Anne Cater, Karen Cole, Mary Picken, Barry Forshaw and Marina Sofia. I met Daniel Pembrey who is lovely, and of course it was a chance to say hi to the lovely Karen Sullivan again and also the effervescent Meggy who was in her element and perhaps more than a little high on chocolate cake ;), One of the biggest surprises of the night was seeing Thomas Enger there – totally not expecting that but just shows what a fab team the Orenda guys are as he flew in all the way from Norway to give his support to the launch.

Book wise I picked up a signed copy of Fault Lines (I already had The Old You from earlier in the year at the Orenda Roadshow in Warwick) and an arc of Good Samaritans by Will Carver, an arc I have been rather jealous of having seen arriving with all my blogging compadres.

Driving home from Tottenham on Thursday was pure hell. Hell I tell you! Left at three and, with a series of delays, accidents and general nonsense to contend with, plus a very late breakfast stop at four thirty p.m., I finally arrived home just before eight. You’d think I’d be unhappy about that right? Well normally I would be but I managed to finish an audio book and then, when you arrive home to a massive parcel with your TBC auction wins in it, well you can’t stay in a bad mood for long can you? Such a wonderful sight to see.

What was in it? Well … Random, Snapshot, Cold Grave, Witness The Dead, In Place of Death, Murderabilia and The Photographer by Craig Robertson and The Unseen, The Price, The Harrowing and The Book of Shadows by Alexandra Sokoloff. Oh, plus some Ferrero Rocher and a Bloody Scotland t-shirt. Tidy.

Friday it was back to work and some rather dull but essential meetings and a lot more spreadsheet work. You’d think I’d be flagging by this point, and normally you’d be right, but an email from the lovely Karen Sullivan put a big smile on my face and not even talking coffee pods, cost centre reports or proof of delivery capture could get me down. More on that later in the week 😉

Saturday and Sunday … well a little walking and more reading plus a whole lot of review writing. I’m a little behind. Unlike my actual behind which is currently anything other than little hence my need for all the walking, even in this heat… saw some cygnets down a the local canal basin though so that was nice. And the books I have been reading are awesome which is also nice 🙂

Book purchase wise I was quite good really. For me. No new audible, just the one Netgalley above and only three book purchased, two pre-orders and one free short story. They were The Night She Died by Jenny Blackhurst; Death’s Door by Paul Finch and No Further Questions by Gillian McAllister.

Books I have read

No Time To Cry – James Oswald

Undercover ops are always dangerous, but DC Constance Fairchild never expected things to go this wrong.

Returning to their base of operations, an anonymous office in a shabby neighbourhood, she finds the bloodied body of her boss, and friend, DI Pete Copperthwaite. He’s been executed – a single shot to the head.

In the aftermath, it seems someone in the Met is determined to make sure that blame for the wrecked operation falls squarely on Con’s shoulders. She is cut loose and cast out, angry and alone with her grief… right until the moment someone also tries to put a bullet through her head.

There’s no place to hide, and no time to cry.

Oh my life how I loved this book. Constance ‘Con’ Fairchild is a brilliant new protagonist who I am looking forward to getting to know. Very different in tone and style from the Inspector McLean series, it still bears James Oswald’s natural style of a twisted and complex story, with just a hint of something … supernatural, captivating characters and feisty determination. He may give his leads a very privileged start in life but he never quite lets them get comfortable. Loved it. And if you’ve not read any books by Mr Oswald yet, this is a great place to start. I’ll be reviewing later in the year, may do a taster review later in the month (ebook publication is late July) and you can preorder your own copy here. Do it. you know you want to.

…

The Killing Habit – Mark Billingham

How do you catch a killer who is yet to kill? We all know the signs. Cruelty, lack of empathy, the killing of animals. Now, pets on suburban London streets are being stalked by a shadow, and it could just be the start.

DI Tom Thorne knows the psychological profile of such offenders all too well, so when he is tasked with catching a notorious killer of domestic cats, he sees the chance to stop a series of homicides before they happen.

Others are less convinced, so once more, Thorne relies on DI Nicola Tanner to help him solve the case, before the culprit starts hunting people. It’s a journey that brings them face to face with a killer who will tear their lives apart.

Mark Billingham has a real knack for taking real life cases and spinning them into an occasionally gruesome, always compelling, what if kind of scenario. The book starts in an almost surreal way with Thorne tasked with capturing a cat killer of all people, and ends in a way no-one could have foreseen, Gripping, action laden and with the wonderful pairing of Thorne with his exact opposite, Nicola Tanner once more, this is irresistably good. I’ll be reviewing soon but you can get your own copy here.

…

A Patient Fury – Sarah Ward

When Detective Constable Connie Childs is dragged from her bed to the fire-wrecked property on Cross Farm Lane she knows as she steps from the car that this house contains death.

Three bodies discovered – a family obliterated – their deaths all seem to point to one conclusion: One mother, one murderer.

But D.C. Childs, determined as ever to discover the truth behind the tragedy, realises it is the fourth body – the one they cannot find – that holds the key to the mystery at Cross Farm Lane.

What Connie Childs fails to spot is that her determination to unmask the real murderer might cost her more than her health – this time she could lose the thing she cares about most: her career.

This was my first Connie Childs book, although I have the others on my kindle waiting patiently. I know I’veprobably missed quite a bit in Connie’s first outings but I have to say i really liked her, a determined officer, stubborn even, who is not willing to let things go just because she is ordered to do so and who has great instincts which she knows to trust. A harrowing case involving the death of a child puts the whole team on edge. Clever plotting, excellent writing and a guarantee I’ll be back for more. I\ll be reviewing as part of the tour later in the month but you can buy a copy here.

…

Dancing on the Grave – Zoe Sharp

In one of the most beautiful corners of England, Something very ugly is about to take place…

A sniper with a mission… a young cop with nothing to lose… a CSI with everything to prove… a teenage girl with a terrifying obsession…

There’s a killer on the loose in the Lake District, and the calm of an English summer is shattered.

For newly qualified crime-scene investigator, Grace McColl, it’s both the start of a nightmare and the chance to prove herself after a mistake that cost a life.

For Detective Constable Nick Weston, recently transferred from London, it’s an opportunity to recover his nerve after a disastrous undercover operation that left him for dead.

And for a lonely, loveless teenage girl, Edith, it’s the start of a twisted fantasy—one she never dreamed might come true.

A standalone CSI led thriller this involves a high profile murder, a killer on the loose with a very unstable young woman at his side. High tension, high action and with brilliantly drawn characters this is another top class read from author Zoe Sharp and highly recommended. I’ll be reviewing on the tour later in the month but do yourself a favour and bag a copy here.

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Four books – not too shabby all things considered. It’s been a busy week. Less so on the blog but I am meant to be slowing down…

The Note by Andrew Barrett

A Meditation on Murder by Robert Thorogood

Death on Dartmoor by Bernie Steadman

After He’s Gone by Jane Isaac

Guest Post: Robert Dugoni – Author of A Steep Price

The week ahead is pretty full on. I’ve a few blog tours starting tomorrow with The Death of Mrs Westaway by Rith Ware and A Summer Scandal by Kat French; How Far We Fall by Jane Shemilt and Gone To Ground by Rachel Amphlett.

I’ll also be taking part in an exclusive cover reveal on Wednesday so do stop by. I promise you that you really want to see this. Love it.

My week will otherwise be made up of work, reading, reviewing and – wait for it – actual writing. Yes, you read that right. No more messing about. I will be writing. Eek. No pressure.

Have a fabulous and hopefully sunny and book filled week all. See you on the other side.

Jen

Rewind, recap: Weekly update w/e 01/07/18 Can four pictures really sum up my week? Well, if I'm being honest they come pretty close.