#i also think tumblr just shot the quality so i'm going to scream

[carrotcouple]

My favorite thing about Ashiya Hanae is the inherent unsettling-ness of him that is actually not around that often.

[afreakingdork]

HOW LONG BEFORE KT GOES IM SCREAMING CRYING AUGH QUGH AUUUUGHHHHHHHHHH I JUST- NEED- SCREAM CRIES AND THROWS Up

Okay but can we talk about the QUALITY?? I’m not one for slow burn, I’m a one shot kinda person, alright? I’m horribly impatient and I like my stuff to happen soon. But THIS?!? Literally has me gripping the sheets and FEELING EMOTIONS?? Literally everything you wrote just… flows… it’s just so amazing that you’ve got me hooked.

I aspire to have this level of writing, and I wish I was as confident to post. That sounds a little back handed BUT I PROMISE I DIDN’T MEAN FOR IT TO BE. But just…. Wow… you’re literally so good. Tumblr fanfic writers are always the best I swear on my life.

I’m so nervous for Chapter 10 because I don’t know what to expect. WILL Donnie confront Leo? Will he even confront the reader? Also the person who mentioned reader turning it all on D and being upset that he’s ignored them (kind of a mutual ghosting, no? Idk I’ll have to reread which I do anyways) but that would be so interesting. I’m just… Also kinda wanting a physical altercation between Leo and Donnie👀 The idea that Leo KNEW D was there is just so… that’s so in brand.

Anyways, sorry. I’m just super excited and this consume my every thought and I’m hoping to draw something for this soon like the other person did WHO HY THE WAY IS SUPER COOL AND THEIR ART IS GORGEOUS???????

Ahhh the highest point of flattery is always someone liking something that they don't usually like. I can't believe I swayed you! I can't thank you enough for telling me! 💞

I'll say this: as soon as I'm done answering these sets of asks, part 10 is going live. We are in a for real count down folks. Just MINUTES!

I don't think it's backhanded. Everyone is on their own journey! No need to pressure yourself with someone elses. Just go at your own pace, but I would recommend just setting up a side blog if your nervous and just yeeting it out there. You'll have the anonymity and the sanctification of finally having done it!

As for the fanart? If you draw me something I will immediately owe you a life debt. unknownfanartist is an actual gem, but your art will be totally incredible in a different way! It's the whole two cakes thing and I am STARVING (but at the same time, please don't feel obligated that was just for the sake of the metaphor).

[000life-is-meaningless000]

The Concept of Racism is Incredibly insane.

nothing can get done with these stupid fucking feeling's.

I don't even understand why so many people are so utterly radical and fanatical about this, why there are armies of people so utterly unhinged, they're about as emotional as an erupting volcano over the topic they are a psychotic to an infinite extreme there's no limit to how emotional they get ?

🤨

nothing can be learned nothing can be natural ?

and if you look online did you research about racism you know you see is a shame game everybody is screaming shame as hot as they fucking can.

but as far as it going to stand the time and the concept and the context of racism it comes down to biology DNA nature and survival.

certain people looked at certain way and acted a certain way and constant repeated exposure and experiences of these type of people and to this day still get the same fucking experience it's just that Society shames the living shit out of it now.

I'm not saying era like the Jim Crow was anything positive it was a pure evil time period.

but attacking the knowledge of DNA and attacking nature and attacking history I don't think Africans really understand by how they scream racism that they themselves are by being racist.

let me just put it this way, they kind of shot themselves in the foot.

by constantly attacking white people for being racist they themselves don't realize they're being racist.

they themselves like a lot of them and I hear it you think that they say that you're not all the same but you apparently get a generalization of a stereotype of them liking rap and a lot of rap singers are African American, and many African Americans associate rap with their own people which is racist.

this is a minor detail of many goddamn things that Africans do a lot, because they because the word and the concept and the context of this thing became a problem when it wasn't a problem no one is being suppressed or hurt by this knowledge.

but we have to make it a fucking problem because America apparently doesn't have enough fucking problems so it's invent fake problems and whenever somebody busted on being a fake problem let's scream or throw it out get violent go crazy and fucking suicide bomb in the middle of the fucking Street 🤨 Rrrriiiiigggghhhhgttttttt, that's not the slightest bit on unhinged ?

I just find it an amazingly deeply overwhelmingly stupidly plus insane that the human race has invented a concept to where I said biology nature history and everything else in contacts of things act like a certain way because they are what the fuck they are is a bad thing to think about it just shows how far Humanity has drifted from sanity.

it also goes to show how far Humanity from intelligence I don't think people really think that shit through.

if you want to go around and say that people are utterly racist you also have to make sure you keep yourself from not being racist you are not allowed to associate any kind of trait attribute or quality to anyone anywhere ever otherwise you automatically have made yourself racist you're also not allowed to do this thing to animals or to aliens anywhere in the universe.

yes, I said aliens because they they are also a people, mother fuckers don't think this shit through.

so now now that Humanity has scared the living shit out of itself of being as unhings as fucking possible with the whole racism God damn thing anyone that now wants to explain what a Gray Alien acts like or how a reptilian acts like it's now literally being fucking racist because of the stupid fucking concept !

you're not even allowed to explain any alien the universe now because the idiot race called Humanity is is too worried about fighting racism which is simply fighting knowledge !

My Fucking Tumblr account is probably get in trouble for literally being too Fucking Scientific and speaking taboo truth, Offend's Everybody pisses them off !

I don't really give a shit because if I get in trouble for speaking the goddamn truth you don't agree with that's tough fucking shit.

The light Shines and it doesn't give a Fuck of the Darkness don't like it.

truth hurts and I came to bring the pain.

😎

no one no one's not allowed to prove or show anything of nature you're not even allowed to think about a dog, dogs are the race called canine, if you think of a dog has certain qualities or traits are attributes of strength so now you're being racist towards the fucking dog

🤦🏻‍♂️

if you have a belief and a trait that says that birds fly just the fact you think about birds fucking flying, you are thinking in a racist fashion, you're applying trait attribute or qualities to a specific race in birds are a fucking race they are the race called Aves !

Humanity shot it self in the foot with the stupid fucking concept of racism, and I mean it's a stupid fucking concept !

it races and started off with do not disclude an individual because of its people or a good portion of people with a certain stereotype of them being assholes give the individual a chance, and I want 100% support that, within fucking Reason !

but like I said Humanity didn't stop there Humanity had to make sure it took this concept and weaponized it to an infinite extreme and then they exploited the shit out of it and they don't realize they shot themselves in the fucking foot and shut themselves in the fucking face

🤦🏻‍♂️

Humanity really suck's a comprehending consequences for the reactions the really good at being motivated to do something they suck it understanding the domino effect and the consequence of Anything, They Ever Fucking Do Ever !

[mouseonvenus-main]

I posted 4,266 times in 2022

That's 1,937 more posts than 2021!

50 posts created (1%)

4,216 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@thesassiestcolor

@kadethecat

@lostglassguitars

@mahiihi

I tagged 2,096 of my posts in 2022

#dr - 355 posts

#laugh rule - 206 posts

#writing - 182 posts

#ut - 123 posts

#fnaf - 122 posts

#mc - 109 posts

#sonic - 75 posts

#loz - 71 posts

#mp100 - 56 posts

#welcome back to me screaming - 45 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i know that its an important thing to a lot of people and probably a big inspiration but whyy there are soo many other things to talk about

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

No wonder afton never got caught the police would never be able to piece together the lore

63 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

#4

Decided to redesign RWBY's Atlas arc outfits

maybe click for quality idk

[ID: digital illustrations of Ruby, Weiss, Blake and Yang from RWBY. Ruby wears a gray dress shirt underneath a black corset; red arm warmers; a black skirt with red frills, a rose faintly printed on it; black boots; her red cape; and her hair is also down. Weiss has her hair in a loose pony tail over her shoulder. She has a light blue capelet with a red bow; a white dress with black frills; long black gloves; and red leg warmers. Blake's hair is cut short and wispy, she wears a black scarf; black arm warmers; a gray wide-neck shirt with diagonal black stripes; black jeans; gray boots; a light purple cloth on her hip. Yang wears a dark brown coat with a fuzzy gray collar--the body is short but the sleeves go all the way down, her yellow gauntlets tucked underneath them. She wears tan baggy pants with yellow knees and a purple bandana tied near her ankle. End ID.]

84 notes - Posted February 20, 2022

#3

I'm back into fnaf in 2022 so have some Mike designs

See the full post

264 notes - Posted January 30, 2022

#2

I'm back into fnaf in 2022 so have some Mike designs

(yes this is a reupload I like this version better)

[ID: 2 images of 4 bust illustrations of Micheal Afton. The first shows a younger Michael, wearing a smiling foxy mask and long shaggy hair, he is crying under the mask. The next shows him as an adult, frowning slightly and wearing a security guard uniform, he has ear-length, full hair. The next image shows Mike presumably post-Sister Location, his hair white at the ends and at the roots, clutching his shirt and looking at the viewer with a wide-eyed, horrified expression. His eyes are fully black with white pupils and there are black scars over his eyes leading to the corners of his mouth. The ends of his fingers are black. The next drawing shows him with all the same characteristics, except his hair is fully white, he wears a face mask and a vest and a dress shirt. He is shown frowning as he pulls off his neck tie, bandaids on his hands. End ID.]

319 notes - Posted February 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Is this interaction at all possible from a timeline, lore or logical perspective? No but I drew it anyway

I just think they would be friends (yes I've heard the theories leave me be)

[ID: two sketches of the crying child from FNAF 4 and Gregory from FNAF Security Breach. The crying child wears a striped hoodie and dark, curly hair, Gregory is in his normal design with a striped polo shirt, straight brown hair and a band-aid on his face. In the first image, there is a full-body shot of both of them facing the viewer with their hands links. Gregory frowns as he points a flashlight at the viewer while the crying child looks wide-eyed and worried, clenching a fist to his chest. The second image shows close-ups of both of their faces, the crying child looking at the viewer with a worried expression and tears on his face and Gregory with a wide-eyed, confused expression as he looks at the viewer. The crying child stands slightly behind Gregory. End ID.]

906 notes - Posted January 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[seungstarss]

HI HELLO 💓 i think you're such a fun person to talk to and I was wondering if you have any tumblr moots you're close with? im new on here so idrk how to find some not only good quality blogs but people who are as friendly as you!

Hi anon! I'll recommend you some really amazing written fic writers bc they need lots of support and feedback, so I hope you enjoy their fics because I personally love them!!

@maiverie HELLO LIKE MAI IS REALLY AMAZING, and plus you said someone friendly too? So yes mai is so so fun and she's a great writer!! Her fics are really intense and always has me on the end of my chair. "Open sesame" was saur good like I was just screaming every chapter so def check out her works!!

@wonvelvet how can there be a rec list with yeonie amirite?? Literally another godly writer??? Like I was her fan even before I started writing here 😱 she was literally the first person I followed after making this account! But her fics are amazing, every single one of them!! Her language is just perfectly formulated and her descriptions are just beautiful. She sets the mood perfectly with her words and gosh it's just fucking amazing

@jaeyunverse raven is just 🤩 chefs kiss at writing!! Her hee fic "always been you" is UGH UGH UGH I WILL NEVER GET OVER IT!! plus she had an smau on her previous blog and it was SO FUNNY??? I think I saw a post where raven said she may post it on her new account (RAVEN CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG) but def look out for that!! Oh also!! There was this one sunghoon one-shot where he k*lls the main character (it sounds vulgar im sorry) but IT WAS SO GOOD H E LP

@hyukaas oh my gosh, Mira is cannot go missing on a list like this!! I'm sorry but her jungwon fic literally started my whole jungwon bias wrecking me thing??? HELLO??? It was amazing?? HURT ME SO BAD BUT ⁉️⁉️⁉️ THAT IS THE WHOLE POINT?? like the way won talked really just hit and hurt me like a bitch 😭 anyways Mira has an smau as the sequel of the fic and it's just as intriguing!! Oh and also her sunghoon fic is gold (tsundere hoon HITS DIFFERENT)

@jayflrt we're not moots but I just wanted to include her bc ofc we cannot forget the queen! Her fics are just.... I have no words. You're just gonna have to read and see because bestie you're up for some story binging!! Not only are her written fics amazing but "sugar daddy" is my comfort smau 😭 Alice is just SO FUNNY. And when I say her humor is actually elite.... I mean it with my whole ass chest okay. Like EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER CRACKED ME UP SO BAD 😭😭😭 I JUST LOVE HER WORKS!

[forestwater87]

I'm screaming. I just realized this was the legendary Forest Water from Ao3, the creator of the fandom last names Santos and Greenwood, and I didn't know all this time?! What?! I can't actually believe it. Your stuff is legendary! I really enjoy your fanfiction, and you're a great creator. Any advice for a fanfic writer who starts to write a Gwenvid longfic? Any tips on how to become a sucessful fandom memeber? Sorry this is so long, I just really enjoy your work!

These two happened to dovetail really nicely, so I wanted to respond to them in a single (very long) post. I’ve talked a little about getting started writing in the past, but specifically about writing Gwenvid? That’s a little different, and interesting to explore.

I think, anyway. But I always find Gwenvid interesting.

1. Thank you! 

I don’t consider myself especially famous or special -- certainly not anymore, when my updates to my flagship fic are annual at best -- so it’s a little weird that there are people looking at me like that. However, it’s also really touching and encouraging, so I’m at a loss for words. Not sure how to respond to such kind comments, so . . . you know, thanks.

2. Writing Gwenvid -- especially longfic

Here’s the thing: There isn’t a single fic I’ve written that I expected to become long. The first “Tigger & Eeyore” was supposed to be like 5 chapters and then ballooned into 14 and a sequel (which it’s now looking like is going to explode into its own sequel, so yikes). 

There’s a reason they’re called plotbunnies: they multiply like crazy. So if you have a single-shot idea or shortfic that you’re not sure will have legs, just start writing it. It might end up wrapping up rather quickly and you can move on to the next idea without it hanging over your head, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it becomes something much larger totally organically.

Also, keep your plots kind of . . . vague? At least, in my experience I’ve found that helps. A generic idea of the world you want to build and a couple set pieces (i.e., major conflicts or story beats) gives you room to play around without pressure to make it “add up to” something. I’ve never written a fic that had a story in the first 4-5 chapters, and that’s how I like it. It’ll . . . just sort of materialize, while you’re exploring the world.

I mean, if you want to write a tightly-paced epic with a twisty, intricate plot, then you’re going to want to find an author who does that sort of thing. My stories tend to be a lot more meandering.

OH! Also get really flowery with your language. Eats up word counts like Wheaties.

Okay, but Gwenvid specifically: if you want to be mostly canon-compliant, the big thing is that we only see them in the context of this one improbably long summer. There are years of story before and after that point that we’ll never get to see, and I think it’s really interesting. (Especially the before part; I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone write a “prequel” to Camp Camp, but how fun is that idea???) When it comes to “fill in the blanks” fanfic writing, it’s really nice to have a story, relationship, and world with so many blanks. There’s a lot you can do just by writing about what they’re up to the rest of the year.

As for AUs: go nuts. Fucking go wild, you funky lil person. Groundhog Day. Ghostbusters. Lost in Translation. Movies that don’t star Bill Murray, probably. Find a straight couple and make them Gwenvid, and go goddamn bonkers with the possibilities. Find a world with Gwenvid-like characters and make them Gwenvid. The possibilities are literally endless. 

3. Fandom engagement and being a BNF

Huh. Not sure where to go with this one.

Like I said, I don’t consider myself much of a BNF (that’s “big-name fan,” for those of you who might have a life outside of tumblr) -- certainly not anymore. And honestly, becoming “popular” in this economy fandom isn’t . . . necessarily going to be super easy.

I mean, don’t get me wrong! The fandom isn’t dead by any means; people are still writing, and still being read. But if you look at the track record over time:

Average kudos counts of Forestwater’s fics by year:

2016: 574

2017: 277

2018: 79

2019: 60

2020: 50

(if you ever wondered why I had a serious emotional crisis about the quality of my writing and general popularity in 2018 and 2019, that drop should tell you a lot)

Now, some of this is certainly my fault. The most important thing when it comes to fandom success is engagement: the more you write, the more attention you’re going to get. If you can stick to a regular update schedule, you’re going to be on the front page and in the top of the tags, and people will see your stuff and be more likely to read it. And attention is self-generating, because the more kudos and hits you have, the more people are going to check out your work just to see what the big deal is. So getting laid off and deeply depressed, then not updating at a time when the fandom was already beginning a pretty steady downward trajectory anyway . . . was not my best move in terms of relevance.

And engagement doesn’t necessarily have to mean updates, by the way! (Though you should update regularly if you want the attention.) Sharing headcanons, answering asks, starting fandom drama and ship wars . . . that’s all the kind of thing that establishes you as an authority; even if people think you’re wrong, they’ll think you’re someone whose opinion is worth disagreeing with, if they see you mouthing off in the tags enough. 

I’m not confident this is a good call, but Snowqueens Icedragon didn’t get massive fandom success by not starting flame wars, is all I’m saying. 

If you have the spoons to answer questions, people will want to ask them. No one wants to talk to someone who won’t reply to them. The most popular artists and authors are always going to be the ones who interact with the fandom the most. Higher output, more attention, more praise. I’m not saying it’s fair -- in fact, it very well might not be -- but that’s the nature of the beast.

Also, play to the fandom. Camp Camp fans want to see dadvid. They want to see dan/vid. They want to see Max-centric content, and they probably want it to be angsty. They want to see self-inserts dating David. If you can give them some of that stuff (none of which is inherently bad, to be clear, nor is it inherently good; it’s just what’s popular, and tbh if you can cram it all in one fic that’d be amazing), you have the benefit of giving people exactly what they want. 

To be clear, don’t write about things that don’t inspire you; aside from it being a soul-crushing endeavor, it’s noticeable when someone’s heart just isn’t in it, and it’s even harder to keep those regular updates. But if the things you’re passionate about happen to be the things the fandom really wants to see at the moment, then you’re much closer to riding the kudos train, my friendo.

But here’s the thing: even if you do everything right, you might still get screwed.

Some of this is just due to the fact that Camp Camp is always a dead fandom in the off-seasons, and we don’t know how long this current off-season is going to last. Hell, we don’t have to look at me for this:

This is “How to Foster an Asshole” by emiartse. It’s one of the fandom’s most popular fics, with a whopping 962 kudos. Hot damn, look at that engagement. That’s a fucking fic right there!

This is the sequel, which has 122 kudos. Nothing to sneeze at, to be sure -- I think we’d all be delighted to have 122 kudos -- but even the general tendency of sequels to have less attention than a series debut doesn’t entirely explain such a precipitous drop. And emiartse is doing everything right! This is dadvid! And momgwen! It’s just as well-written as the first; it’s not like we suddenly experience a decrease in quality or anything. It came right on the heels of the first one ending, and the updates have been more or less like clockwork, in keeping with the previous story.

So what changed?

Well, HTFAA was first published in 2019, right on the heels of Season 4′s finale and when fandom hype was pretty high. HTAAA was published in September 2020, during this whole “world pandemic and every political disaster all at once” thing that’s got us all fucked up -- and especially, during a period where we all knew Camp Camp wasn’t coming back for the year, and maybe not ever.

It’s . . . not a great time to be a writer for Camp Camp if your goal is popularity. I mean, it’s never a great time to be a writer if your goal is popularity -- consider the tragic difference in notes between ellohcee’s gorgeous art and their equally-excellent writing just for comparison -- but it’s especially tough now. If you really want to be a huge name in the fandom, my suggestion is to travel back in time to 2016 and establish yourself as the pioneer of something (seriously, it can be anything; there was basically nothing in the fandom at that time. Every idea was a new one). 

So . . . what do we do when we can’t be popular? Maybe you don’t want to chain yourself to a strict update schedule, or write the twelve-thousandth iteration of the most popular fandom tropes, or you exist in 2021 when everything is terrible and no one cares about a web cartoon series. What happens then?

4. Do it anyway.

I know, I know -- that sounds hella cheesy. “Write because you love it, not for attention” is one of those statements that everyone rolls their eyes at, because seriously? Please. What’s even the point of sharing something you write if no one reads it?

Well . . . because you made it. Because it’s something that wouldn’t exist without you, and because even though there are such a tiny number of readers in a very small, very dead fandom -- those people still exist. And seeing what you wrote will make them happy. And if they have the spoons, they’ll let you know that you made them happy, which will make you happy.

I haven’t updated my major fic in a year -- haven’t updated any writing in several months. But what keeps me going is the excitement that my ideas bring me, and the pride I feel in watching them come to life. It’s like giving a gift to someone; I get really nervous and giddy whenever I post a sentence.

And does it suck when it feels like your present goes unappreciated? Yeah. If you write the first chapter of your awesome long-form Gwenvid fic and it gets like 5 or 3 or even zero notes, that’s a huge bummer. That hurts a lot, and it can crush your self-esteem worse than even the most vicious hate. But your fic isn’t going to just be around for the few hours or days that you’re watching the engagement. It’s going to be there, growing as you update it or just sitting happily in its tags, and someone is going to find it.

Your story is going to be someone’s favorite fic. I promise. 

And hell, let’s make it my favorite fic! 

If you post something -- you know what, even if you post something in a trope or ship I hate, or a fandom I’m not in, doesn’t even have to just be Camp Camp; times are hard right now and we gotta support each other -- send me the link in a personal message. (Don’t tag me, I won’t see it. I never see anything on this terrible, terrible site.) I’ll like it; I’ll give it kudos. I’ll probably even share it*, because we’re going through the lean times in this fandom. And we’re writers, so the lean times are extra lean; it’s the bone-and-dust times. 

*Okay, but I reserve the right to not support someone’s work that makes me very uncomfortable. I’ll share things I don’t personally stan, but I’m not gonna platform your “why Hitler was good, actually” essay disguised as a fanfic or anything. My 6 followers deserve better.

Write something that excites you, and then tell me about it. If you need help brainstorming, tell me about that too. 

I might not have the spoons to keep this up for a prolonged period of time, but I’ll do what I can and you’ll do what you can and together we’ll . . . idk, do something. I’m losing the thread of my great inspirational speech here.

Uhhhh TL;DR let’s just do the dang thing. If we fail we all fail together. Yay team!

[kmclaude]

Omg Claude,that freaking Tiefer vampire au is the kind of shit I never knew I needed so much!! I can't thank you enough for writing it! Also,while we're at it I'd like to ask you something. I'm also writing a story that contains lots of rape but can never bring myself to write it down as raw as I want to,since its a sensitive topic for me. How do you manage to write it so 'brutally' as that,like describing those terrible actions and all? Anyways thankxs as always and hope you're getting better!

Thank you so much! I kinda needed it too...

I hope you don’t mind me responding publicly -- I’ve noticed any reblogs from you never seem to actually show up in my activity outside of post notes so I don’t really trust tumblr to actually handle sending a reply, plus I think that’s a good question and one that can help others too.

Full disclosure: I have been writing brutal stuff since I was thirteen, publicly, but wrote and drew some fucked up shit even before then and admittedly, I just am not bothered by reading or writing fictional depictions of rape or murder (Exquisite Corpse is a blast that other friends of mine -- hardier friends! -- have been like OH GOD at certain scenes.) It just doesn’t bother me. Movie and TV show depictions, eh, sometimes they squick me, and of course I can feel emotion reading or writing a scene, but writing terrible things really doesn’t bother me. 

Given that, and given that its a sensitive topic for you (heck a sensitive topic in general), I very much recognize that my go to advice -- that is, practice! Read examples! Practice some more! Power through! Go hog wild! -- is maybe not the best advice to give. I don’t want you or anyone to do anything purposefully injurious to their mental or emotional wellbeing -- I may like and advocate for pushing boundaries but I ain’t out here going “lmao trigger yourself cuck” you know? That ain’t chill.

So, I’m gonna try and find some work arounds, something that might be better than simply telling you to practice and posting the Shia LaBeouf Just Do It meme

(Obviously, I’m gonna mention some semi-graphic scenarios -- this is a question about writing rape scenes after all.)

You say your issue is writing it “as raw as [you] want to” -- what constitutes as raw to you? Is it writing out every little moment like a play-by-play in high-definition detail? Because yes, I admit, that may mean you have to just power through and it often seems that way but you can narrow in on some details that aren’t tied to the sex part of it all. 

For example, if you’re writing a scene where character A rapes character B on a barnyard floor, you can focus in on the feel of straw and dirt under the character, the burn of splinters in their hands and knees as they try to get away or in their back that get pushed in deeper with every movement, the stink of animal feces and of sweat, the sound of flies buzzing and heavy breathing -- it’s all gross tiny details that are all zeroed in on but dissociated from the action itself so you don’t have to write about the minutiae that is genitalia or penetration or in-depth sexual violence and your readers will still be, well, grossed out, disturbed, etc. It’s writing the sex scene by writing mostly around it even as you take your readers through it.

Or is your idea of raw more atmospheric and subtle, something that can be conveyed with the right words or the right narration choices that still hit you like a ton of bricks? You don’t need to write it all out like its a dissected fetal pig in an Anatomy and Physiology classroom to get the grossness or horror across. There’s writing the scene with a detached, almost clinical air, which can be really disturbing (it can also, admittedly, backfire into unintended hilarity so it’s a tricky beast.) There’s also just, rather than dragging it out, honing in on a few snapshots of brutal imagery to carry you through the scene. Think horror movies, how sometimes you’ll get a glimpse of the carnage or the monster without any money shot -- it’s effective without doing too too much. However, both of these require that, yes, you write all or part of some sexual acts which may cause difficulties.

Alternatively, fade to black scenarios or scenes where the situation is disturbingly apparent, that forces us as readers to imagine what happened, can be powerful without demanding that any of the sexual acts be laid out. If we see character A drag character B into a barn and latch the door and the scene pulls out to the stillness of the barn exterior that’s unperturbed save for muffled screaming and sobbing and then the next scene cuts to character B in their bathroom scrubbing dirt from their face and pulling straw from their hair and damaged or ripped underwear, well, that second scene tells us what happened in the first and can be chilling on its own, no sex required. It may work easier as a movie scene or comic panel but it can be done in the written word.

(Sidebar: I don’t know what language you’re writing in, but I have friends whose first language isn’t English but speak it better’n most English speakers and they’ve mentioned they find sex easier to write in English than their native language. Maybe it’s our curse words? Fight me, fuck and cunt are the best words, quality words. If you’re multilingual, writing in a different language might help create a much needed distance.)

It’s tough and there’s no easy solution. Unfortunately, like most writing issues, the solution is practice practice practice and read, I guess -- but then the last thing I want to tell you is “oh hey, just fucking trigger yourself, that’s a great plan!” Like no! No, not great! But I think it all hinges on what you find rawness or brutality to be and what your limits are and working within those limits (or, if you feel yourself able to, breaking those limits as you see fit and feel comfortable.)

My way of brute-forcing past my boundaries and pushing myself isn’t everyone’s way -- and heck I’m sure there are things I’ve written that if I went back and read, I’d be like “slow down there Jeffrey Dahmer let’s take a chill pill” you know, so I’m not even saying it’s the right way! It’s just a way and I think it’s a matter of figuring out your way as a writer.

I hope that helps and good luck!