#i also haven't planned out my life n i constantly wanna guck up every good thing!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dalish-empress · 7 years ago

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god i wish i could tell ppl how i rlly feel but everyone’s too caught up in how good i’m doing n how i’m recovering n they only know a tiny part of what i’ve been through lmao. n my moms finally starting 2 be happy again n i can’t disappoint her by telling her all this lmao. so i guess i’ll just die. like everyone knows i’ve been sick but they all just think its depression n anxiety bcs of my parents divorce n bcs i was bullied in high school lmao

#'hey mom i know u think i'm doing better n in some ways i am but i still have untreated trauma from being abused my entire life #yeah also my exes raped me n threatened 2 kill myself if i ever let n one of them #themselves*#did so u know tga rlly fucked me up #also bcs of my daddy issues i've been w grown ass men since i was a teen which rlly fucked me up too #oh yeah also i have struggled s notbinly self harm #as everyone already knows but alcohol #abuse too!!! all before the age of 16 so u know where already starting great here!#i also haven't planned out my life n i constantly wanna guck up every good thing!!#bcs i don't believe i deserve happiness n safety so i constantly seek out things i know will fuck up my progress lmao!!!#personal #abuse m //#rape m ///#self harm m ///#like if it wasn't for my social anxiety that was rlly bad in my mid teens i would have been so fucked rn #rlly kept the rest in check

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