#i already have people who value me but emotionally that's not sinkin in
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So. Turns out he hates me (in part) cause I'm the reason he's here
#cause i 'trapped him in my miserable little life'#like ummmmm no offense but you don't actually think if i had ANY control over it it woulda been _you_?#......he took offense#i mean i guess technically he's not wrong he is here cause i need him but#actin like it was intentional? like i specifically wanted him here so he has to experience firsthand the shit he's put me through#as payback#made sure i know he still doesn't regret a single thing he's done to me. as if i didn't already#to him i'm the one who took _him_ away from _his_ life#what do i even say to that?? technically he's not wrong#n whether i meant for somethin to happen never mattered to him#you could always try to make the best of what you're stuck w/ instead of actively makin everything worse but......#i guess the vindication is more important#'ohh of course you woulda rather had your little bf here' like yea? obviously? why does that piss you off so much#also he's not my bf but you know that you just wanted to be condescending#never gonna understand how he's gonna get jealous about someone who isn't even here when he literally hates my guts#i don't want you but no one else can have you either kinda mentality#i guess he don't want me thinkin i have some kinda value aside from my body to someone n not need him anymore#i already have people who value me but emotionally that's not sinkin in#n i guess if i fell in love n was actually loved back i'd be givin someone a part of me that's only ever been his#five minute long groan#can you like. try not bein like this#it's kinda funny though it's so fucking backwards. i took away everything he had? i trapped him here??#i'm makin _him_ feel these things?#babe you only feel em cause _you're_ makin _me_ feel that way n we share a goddamn brain#wrap your head around that one maybe#spdrvent
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