#i added henry's name to the prompt i hope that isn't cheating lmao

[henrysfedora]

@barbaro-supremacy this took me so long to write when i saved your ask to my drafts tumblr ate it. like, its gone, anyway

#13 "There's no shame in crying, I promise" - for henry/vito

from here

I'm sorry this took me so long but i hope it's decent, i hope you like it! i've tried this prompt so many times but i'm finally happy with this one so i hope you are too :) and if not well then.. shit lmao

this got long whoops - also forgive me if their dialogue sounds off. and we're post henry chop :) but he lived bitch.

Winter, of course when he had finally felt good enough to stand, to hold himself up right it was winter. Cold, barren streets and grey skies that blocked out the sun. He was sick of Empire Bay’s lack of colour, especially in this part of town, he was sick of the tapping of his cane, an object he realised was to stay by his side for the rest of his life and he wished that weren’t so. For the thing, the person, he wished to stay by his side forever, was the person he was about to apologise to. 

Oyster Bay, Marty’s old apartment, a place he wouldn’t have to visit if things went right.  

Henry knew, no matter how it would go he would see Joe after this, but right now he needed to see Vito. Henry knew he had failed the both of them, he knew that he could recognise the feeling by now, but he needed to talk to them each alone, to have their undivided attention once more, either for the final time or for one of the first of many more to come.   

He didn’t know how long he stood there for, at the start of the stairs, only a couple metres from Marty’s door, which was now Vito’s of course. Of course it was Vito’s, who got him stuck in the can with Brian? who ignored Marty? He looked up at the second set of stairs, soaked with rainwater and dripping onto the concrete below, his uncovered eye squinting when a drop of rain hit his cheek; his clothes were soaked and the smell of wet cotton filled his nose. He could’ve gotten a cab, but that would’ve meant a shorter trip and less time to think. Though now, he realises, he’ll have to walk through that door looking like a wet, lost dog. Pathetic, he thought. 

He grimaced when the tap of his cane was louder than he wished it was, he made his way up the stairs slowly, one at a time, when finally he stood in front of the door. And suddenly he felt as though he were back bleeding on the concrete again, it was hard to breathe and no matter how hard he tried to fight his throat kept constricting. His cane wobbled slightly, reaching for the door he tapped it - too soft the first time - so he did it harder: knock, knock, knock.  

Did he regret it already? He couldn’t.

He wiped his temple where he felt a raindrop trailing down it, quickly, positioning his arm by his side, calmly, balanced. 

A chain from the other side of the door tapped against the wooden frame, Henry knew he just had to breathe, no matter how hard that was when the door opened, and a man looked at him with eyes filled with sorrow and wear. There was no sunlight to lift that familiar dark shade of blue, none to make them shimmer, but there wouldn’t need to be sunlight if Joe were here instead.    

“Hey Vito..” A dull grey knife of agate on dark impenetrable walls of sapphire. 

“..Hey Henry.” Dark sapphires on the black cotton of a three piece suit that looked too alike to another, “What do you want?.. Jesus you’re soaked.” His voice was coarse. 

A ghost of a smile,  “Yeah. I just want to, talk.”

Silence. Was there ever a fear of silence, he wondered. There must’ve been. 

Vito nodded towards the living room down the hallway to which Henry slowly made his way in, his cane such a loud thing against the wooden flooring. It echoed off the walls and back into his ears as though thunder had occurred, it threatened to rupture his ear drums. Henry was surprised a little, the radio wasn’t on nor the TV, Vito must’ve been sleeping, that was whatever he did when, well whenever, whenever he could.    

When he turned around to look at Vito, he stood there still, turned away from him pressing the door closed. Henry’s thoughts were confirmed when he finally noticed Vito’s attire when he turned around, even when he throws things on to be presentable at the door, his heart aches. Simple slacks, a dress shirt that fitted him perfectly, its top buttons undone and collar wide, where smooth, unscathed skin used to be. 

“Well, what did you want to talk about, Henry?” 

Henry looked up from the now scarred and uneven skin, and his heart sank. Sapphires were finally on grey agate. He couldn’t meet both of Vito’s eyes like he used to be able to in the past, but that did not prevent him from admiring their beauty even if he could only view them with one eye.  

Well he thought Vito would know, “I wanted to talk about the deal.. About..” About what. About everything, about nothing, all of it, none of it. “About.. How you were right, it was a horrible idea.” 

Those sapphires looked away, “Well it was, Henry.”

“I understand that now Vito, I do..” 

Silence, once more, so familiar yet still so uncomfortable. 

“I get it, Vito.” Henry, shook his head in disbelief at himself, “I get it now.”  he did, he’d been thinking about it the whole walk here, he’d thought about it the entire time he was bed bound covered in bloody bandages and stitched up like a fucking child's toy.  

“Well you should’ve understood it before,” Vito shrugged, “before all of this, why didn’t you listen?” 

“I did listen..” Henry swallowed, he did.. but he ignored it, didn’t you, “I thought it would be fine in the end Vito. We deserved somethin’ good.”

Vito’s brows furrowed as he looked at Henry again, “Somethin’ good? What do you mean somethin’ good?” something fierce was etched into his eyes. 

“Money, Vito. You’re in this shithole, you deserve better than this, like you’ve always said, like you’ve always wanted, a place to call your own.”

“Money? and so what? You’d just been accepted into our family, Henry, was that not enough for you?” 

..it was enough, “But you two deserved more..”

“Henry that night was the best night me and Joe had had for weeks, we had everythin’ we wanted, we already had somethin’ good, we had you..” Vito stared, “And then you ruined it.” and Vito stared, “You pushed your luck.” 

His cane wobbled again, “I didn’t want to ruin it, Vito. I just wanted to do somethin’ good for you.. For you and Joe.”

Vito shook his head, “I thought you said this was all about business Henry and nothin’ to do with friendship.” Vito scowled, “Because you know that’s really what it feels like, that's what it felt like then.” 

“It isn’t just about business Vito, I know..” Henry repositioned his cane to regain his balance, “I.. care about you. And if I pulled this off you would’ve been able to get a new house or at least an apartment somewhere that was better than this..” 

“Well if you really cared about that Henry you would’ve listened!” 

“I did listen, Vito! I did! But-”

“No.” Vito stepped closer until he was looking down into Henry’s eye, “No more fuckin’ but’s, if you really cared Henry you would’ve listened and you would’ve thought, you would’ve really thought about what you were draggin’ us into.”

“I did.. I had been thinkin’ about it for weeks. Because this was supposed to be it Vito, somethin’ good, somethin’ great-” 

More creases were forming in Vito’s face, “All that time.” 

“I was doing somethin’ for you and Joe, Vito. Somethin’ that would repay you for what I’ve done.” 

Vito shook his head again, "You had all that time to think it through.."

"Yes and I thought about it in the back of my mind constantly Vito, I thought about it every night and every day because it had to be fuckin' good enough-"

“Stop it!” 

“No! I tried to repay you and Joe! And I still need to because I fuckin' failed! I have to.” Henry reasoned.

Vito balled his hands into fists, “You didn’t need to do anythin’! You don’t need to do anythin’!” 

“Well I clearly do! You said in it the car back during the deal, I've put you through so much shit, Vito, don't you think it’s about goddamn time I do somethin’ to make up for it? So let me!” 

Vito grabbed him by the arms, “You are enough Henry! Why don’t you get it?!” he shook him a little whether he meant to or not.

If it weren’t for the pain in Vito’s voice he wouldn’t have been able to tell he was crying through the blurriness of his own eyes. 

“It’s my fault you’re here, Vito. I just wanted to do somethin’ right for once.” god was it not already humiliating enough to have to apologise for his foolish behaviour, to cry in front of him too. He sniffed and straightened his posture, “How am I enough? When everything’s my fault?”   

“Because I love you you stupid fuck.” 

Henry wasn’t sure if he could still breathe. 

“And I’ve loved you from the beginnin’. And I forgive you, for everythin’. I do.” 

..no, he couldn’t. Henry covered his eye, wiping it with the back of his hand. How could he forgive him? After everything he’s done?

When he could just see clearly again he looked up at Vito who looked the same as him, tears falling down his face and meeting at his chin. He couldn’t recall if he’d ever seen Vito like this before, not just upset but completely heartbroken. 

Vito held out his arms. 

Henry let go of his cane, and then clung to him, "I fucked up I know, I know.” He held Vito around his shoulders as though there would never be anything to hold onto ever again. “I’m sorry,” as if he would never hold Vito again, “I’m a fuckin’ disgrace, a dishonourable son, that's what they would say.” he pulled back to wipe his tears.

Vito shook his head as he put his arms around Henry and pulled him close again, “There’s no shame in crying Henry, I promise..” his lips pressing into Henry's hair. "We aren't those guys."

Henry pulled away hesitantly and placed his forehead against Vito’s, “You were right.” he sniffed again, "And I'm not goin' to be this stupid ever again."

Vito smiled, “Good.”  

Henry couldn’t hold back a little laugh, it came with a smile.  

Vito's smile dwindled, "You can talk to us Hen, about anythin', anytime."

Henry nodded, more tears falling down his face, ones that Vito wiped away.

“Come on," he pat Henry on the arm gently, "let’s go see Joe, he'll understand too.” 

Vito's smile returned to its former glory and once more there was sapphire blue on grey agate, but this time those sapphires glimmered.