#i added an image description in the alt text which i'm pretty new at so feel free to tell me if it's ok or not!

[museofvoid-art]

Nothing to motivate you to draw like having something else you need to work on

Anyway here's Tanzanite, an old gemsona I made years and years ago that I suddenly remembered and wanted to redraw ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Original drawing posted on my main blog, if you're curious. It's fun to see how my art style has changed and improved :>

[existencebringsonlypain]

tag system below! any other info you need is in my description.

#existenceunrelateds - posts not directly related to the Owl House (most content lately)

#reblog - my reblogs. used in conjunction with other tags.

#re: tags or #re: prev - I'm responding to the tags from the previous reblog. Open their reblog to see what I'm responding to. Also, if a tag is prefaced by ←, that means all the previous tags are from the prev reblog, and all tags following it are mine. I may on occasion forgo the previous tags altogether, and if so, just hit previous reblog. If there are two, prev also uses this system.

#nutdealer posting - posts about or relating to undertale or deltarune, cuz my brain decided it wants to fixate on those. Dw, toh's staying, they just share room in my head, and the nutdealers are taking priority. This tag will not be used in conjunction with #existenceunrelateds, so if you only want owl house content, you can block both. I just don't want to complicate things for myself

#cephaloposting - I just HAAAD to go out and learn splatoon lore and now I'm in fairly deep. tag works the same as nutdealer posting, pearlina is adorable, I'm team Callie, Order and Future, and if Frye doesn't get another win before the game stops having splatfests I'm gonna be pissed.

#carbohydrate before you carbodiedrate - my new mutual/shenanigannery tag. don't ask. I'll almost definitely forget this a ton, so a general rule is if I'm reblogging to talk to mutuals or other people a lot within a short period of time, it'll be there. or if i'm replying repeatedly in the tags. or if spectator brings up bread again.

#negative - this one's been in effect for some time, but it was infrequent enough that I didn't think of adding it. This is not necessarily ANY negative post, more posts that could seriously affect someone reading them. Because of this, a good chunk of Palestine-related posts are tagged with it. Not all of them, though, only the emotionally devastating ones.

#personal shit - Personal shit. Usually doesn't apply to the occasional vaguepost or question, more complaining about situations happening in real life or asking for advice.

#geek figuring stuff out - I'm still pretty young. I won't tell you how young, but young enough that I don't know myself all too well. This tag may contain Gender Confusion, Romance Confusion (Or Lack Thereof), Sexuality Confusion (Or Lack Thereof (??)), Inability To Visualize Confusion (See: Aphantasia), and Medical Confusion (Dehydration, Malnourishment, and More!). Additionally, this is where most nsfw content will go, if it's not body positivity or sex ed. Or me reblogging thirst traps for my lesbian followers.

#existence is unhealthily obsessed with queso - I rate queso for some reason. Mostly going to be chains within just Florida, or southeastern USA.

alright so I'm entrenched in undertale and deltarune, which means I also tend to get homestuck content. I have no idea what the fuck homestuck is about but I know a lot of people love it and a lot of people hate it, so I jokingly tag any posts relating to homestuck with #cw homestuck. this is a joke and not intending to belittle any homestuck fans- I'm an undertale fan, I can't judge.

speaking of, any time I'm tagging posts with warning, I'll usually do two to four variations on #cw [xyz thing here]. I use cw much more often than tw, since it feels more inclusive to any reasons one might not want certain content on their dash. make sure if you've blocked the tw version of the tag, block the cw version as well.

Regarding accessibility and related things, I try to alt any image I post that is more than like. a cat photo for just my mutuals to see. If you would like me to add an alt to any of my posts, just ask!

I also tend to mess around with unicode a lot, to make fun emoticons or ᵗⁱⁿʸ ᵗᵉˣᵗ (plaintext: tiny text). I'm guessing screenreaders don't appreciate that, so I can plaintext my posts for you if you'd like. Usually these things will be in my tags, though, so it's not too important.

Related: If you notice I've somehow typed a comma in my tags, it's not magic, it's unicode! There's a unicode character called single low-9 quotation mark (U+201A) that displays like this:

‚

It looks exactly like a comma, and it works in tags! Feel free to copy and paste at your leisure, or add it to a keyboard shortcut like I did.

also sometimes I'll use whitespace characters to fine-tune spacing in my posts, for example to make italics look better than whatever tumblr's got going on. for example:

uncorrected: I don't like this (space between don't and like is too short, between I and don't too long)

corrected: I don't  like this (using varied lengths of whitespace characters, spacing is fixed)

tell me if that fucks anything up

[mayasaura]

Speaking of Gideon's unreliable narration about her fight with Harrow, that ties into one of my favourite elements of her character that I've never really seriously discussed: Gideon is afraid of her own anger, and what it might make her do if she lets it. It's a wonderfully subtle and sympathetic presentation of 'bad' anger, and what it's like to live with.

I didn't clock how real her tremendous fear was until I read her second, more detailed description of that fight she had with Harrow when they were children.

All images contain alt text. Discussion of canonical violence, including near lethal violence between children, under the cut.

Her first account is very brief:

It sounds like understandable mutual violence between two angry and hurting children. It's not until the second telling that I stopped to really consider why Harrow would attack Gideon with her fingernails when she was already a powerful enough necromancer to unlock the Tomb.

So let's look at Gideon’s second account of that fight:

Technically all the details match, she never lied, but in this telling it's not even close to a mutual fight. Gideon makes sure to point out that she'd had a significant physical advantage on Harrow, and lays out the order of events to show that she attacked Harrow in anger and attempted to strangle her—a method of violence for which clawing the attacker's face is the most common form of self-defense. And she was serious about it; serious enough that Harrow was incapable of walking away after.

Putting it all together, I'm pretty sure Gideon almost murdered Harrow as a child, and is very deeply ashamed of it. That's why she's tremendously afraid of using physical violence against Harrow in anger; she's frightened that she might do it again. She avoids talking or thinking about it, and frames herself to herself as someone who has never before hit Harrow, because she's afraid of what her childhood anger episode might say about her as a person.

And I want to be clear: It says nothing about her as a person. She was an angry abused child too accustomed to violence, and she badly lost her temper once. It was terrible, but that one outburst as a kid doesn't define her. Not to us as a character—which is why I like it as an element of the story—and not as a person, and she shouldn't have to be afraid that it does.

Because when it comes to Gideon's personality, that's the main impact the incident has: the lingering fear and shame. She skims over it in her account to Palamedes of that nightmare of a day, but I suspect her feelings about the fight are all tangled up in her bizarre-at-surface-level conviction that Harrow hates her because she killed Harrow's parents. She didn't really kill Harrow's parents, and logically she knows that, but it's so much easier to express her feelings by saying she did. Because her survivor's guilt is real and she does feel responsible for what they did, and she doesn't know how to talk about having hurt Harrow. Especially not then, when she thinks Harrow might really be a cold-blooded killer.

There are a few scenes and subtextual implications in Gideon the Ninth that gain more depth with this new element, but what I'm thinking about is the pool scene. When Harrow comes to Gideon and asks to be killed by her hand. With the added context of Gideon carrying the shame of having tried once, in anger when they were children, Gideon being able to let go of all their baggage to hold Harrow now and say 'no, no more violence between us' becomes Gideon giving herself permission to heal, too.