#i actually wasn't sure if florence would beat them this year

[sassypantsjaxon]

Oh yeah, I forgot to actually post my Spotify wrapped. For the fourth year in a row

Bastille.

In case anybody's wondering just how much bastille. Other people's heartache is a bastille album. Alok and lost frequencies are only there for their bastille collabs. I listened to one album and not one, but two singles more than I listened to any third band.

[blackbutlerfandomnerddomain]

WHY DID THIS TAKE A LONG TIME BUT HERE I AM NOT I WAS GOING TO DO A FIC BUT THAT'S TAKING A WHILE THANKS TO MY CHROMEBOOK BEING WEIRD AND GLITCHY MAYBE OR IS IT TUMBLR BEING GLITCHY WHO KNOWS SO HERE ARE THOSE HEADCANONS I DECIDED TO MAKE YOU OF THIS SUPER RANDOM AU HEADCANON!!

Lol that picture of Vargas, Sam, and Crowly is the best

Mrs Felmier and Vargas were young when they met, and way too stupid. Kind of had a summer break romance type of love in which she wasn't sure is she wanted more while he believed he wanted to marry her

She broke his heart kind of harshly after he made her feel she's special and didn't want to believe, only after he left town did to return home from vacation did she find out she was pregnant.

Marja was open to letting her in after her family kicked her out and her and Marja's son grew to love each other and got married, telling the town the child she gave birth to afterwards is his even though the town had doubts due to her. . . history

My ocs of Epel's siblings Basile and Aicha (I would share their pages but WeHeartIt is dead now and I'm salty) were actually Mr Felmier's twin nephews but were taken in and adopted by them after his sister and her husband died tragically and raised the two as their sons

They decided to only tell Epel and the twins the truth of their origins once they're old enough

Vargas was pretty beat up about his vacation romance and worked hard on his physicals education which helped a lot and slowly led to him today

He hasn't heard a thing about Angelika (Epel's mother) since then

Epel was just having a normal day being a NRC student, getting annoyed by Basile and Aicha's pestering love as they are also a year higher than him, work is normal, and he's doing great in his P.E. class and his Magshift games!

Then the most feared or exciting thing of all came to happen: Parent Day

People were working hard impressing their parents, Crowley arranged the families to have good service in the hotels they'll stay at in town and things were set and good!

Epel was proud to show off his skills to his parents, guiding them toe Vargas to talk about P.E. scores and his skills in club when Vargas and Angelika pause and stare at each other

Epel asked her afterwards and she told him everything, including the possibility that Vargas' his biological father

Epel gets hurt and runs to Pomfiore where he ended up crying into a hug on Vil in which he turned to Rook, "Rook, get the wine glasses someone's hurt."

The three drank (they check if it's legal where Epel's at and were given an okay) and Epel told them everything he was told

Vil was pretty much "Oh damn that's heavier than I thought it'd be"

Epel ended up throwing up on Vil's bed

Epel spend the next day which was parent shadow day avoiding Vargas who at this point sensed something was up after knowing Angelika was his mother

Finally Angelika pulled Epel aside and they talked more and after Epel consented she went to Vargas and explained to him Epel's his son

They both fought hard having Epel still in Vargas' classes and being part of the Magshift Club when Crowley was informed of the news so no one beside the staff and the closest of Epel's friends know of Epel's origins

The aftermath was awkward but soon the two grew a steady relationship and Vargas started to properly get in Epel's life

After a long while Angelika and him talked more and started a pretty calm friendship of split custody

Vargas gets invited to apple picking now

I'd like to think their relationship now is more like Baloo and Mowgli from Jungle Book but if Baloo is actually more responsible and less lazy

In this AU James (Vargas' nephew he took in) and Ash (Trein's step-child) are dating so now Trein is seeing Vargas and Epel more on supposed calm dinners.

Also I still love my headcanon Crewel's Trein's long lost son and I ship him with Crowley and Sam so-

Sorry Trein-

Epel started to call him "Pops" while he still calls Mr Felmier "Pa" or "Dad" but not during classes

Vargas now has two centers of his universe with James and Epel ^w^

Vil feels like he gets a headache when Epel goes "You can't blame me for being rowdy, I have wild genetics!"

Angelika gave him a stern talking afterwards though

In mine and @gay-salt-amber's AU Deuce's mother and Vil's dad started dating and EpelDeuce is a thing so sorry Vil-

MY SISTER GAVE ME THIS AND IM FREAKING OUT!

Ahem

So I made Epel's mum a bit of a "wild child" daughter of a farmer who was forced to marry after getting knocked up

Dad?

. . .

. . .

. . .Vargas being Epel's dad-

Oml I need your hcs on this

[ma-gic-gay]

Leaving a former assassin turned mob boss alone with his thoughts and anger about his... Whatever him and Carly are, since that seems to change every ten minutes going through what she went through, is a stupid idea. Especially for two hours.

It's either that or confront the fact they've kissed and had sex in the same 24 hours.

Not exactly the most friendly things to do.

This is exactly what he's not supposed to be thinking about, yet it's what he's thinking about while he's sitting in a chair at the hospital.

Turns out that when he's not doing illegal things, he can actually have time to think and not freak out about the cops finding out what happened. Time to think about them and how he doubts they'll ever go back to normal. A one night stand is one thing, a kiss after you get kidnapped and raped is a completely other thing.

Go figure, the one person who he could willingly discuss this with is the same person who he can't right now.

Maybe talking about this with Sam would work?

Nope, scratch that. Even though she's moved on from their relationship, they're not that close of friends and really only hang out for their kids sake.

If this was a year ago, he'd say he should go to Sonny, since he can't go to Carly about it. But then again, if it was a year ago or if Sonny hadn't vanished, been presumed dead long enough for even Carly to believe it (which meant he, by extension, believed it finally as well), last night never would've happened. Not in a million-

Alright maybe it would've happened but he doubts it. After all, a year ago, he was with Sam and Carly was with Sonny.

Does this count as a betrayal, sleeping with her? Not like conceiving a child on his biological brother's grave with the woman who's the reason he's dead. Or knowing that your best friend is in love with someone but sleeping with her anyways out of horniness.

Maybe he's still a little bit mad about those things.

Or a lot bit mad.

Thinking of all the times Sonny's betrayed him is definitely not helping the fact that anger is just about the only emotion he's feeling right now. Notably, that comes with the exception of confused and that one's only because he's seriously confused about what the hell him and Carly are right now.

Just thinking about what she must be going through right now... It makes him so furious he could take someone out for even mentioning the word. Or something negative even in the slightest bit about her.

That last part might be a telltale sign he needs to do an evaluation of his feelings for her but after this. Probably should right now, but he doesn't want to.

Even the mention of what happened to her, which is spreading through the hospital like wildfire (whoever spread that information first is on his shit list and that is not a good place to be), makes his blood boil.

Cyrus did that to her, he decided to treat her like an object. Like she's some disposable thing, that after he had his fun with her she'll be killed to hurt his business competitor. And the fact that he'd managed to scare her, that he'd managed to do something so difficult he thought it would never happen again unless something happened to one of her kids or him. That part makes him want his head on a stick outside his front door.

And the only reason he did it is to hurt Jason, to make him feel hopeless and in despair and angry and hurt. The only reason she went through that is because of him. That's the worst part, for him, that he's responsible for her going through that, that it's his fault. Even though he knows that's not how it went down, that he's not responsible for Cyrus's actions or her kidnapping and rape, that's sure as hell what it feels like. It feels like everything's getting blurry, like the lines he had drawn in his life are bleeding into each other.

Keep her safe, that was always his number one rule. Even if it meant getting hurt himself (which it normally did), keeping her safe has always been his priority. It's why he tries, unsuccessfully, to shelter her from the mob.

When she needed him, really needed him, he couldn't do that for her. He wasn't there when she needed him the most, when she needed him to save her and get her out of that situation.

No matter how you frame it, what he's doing is beating himself up for something that he knows to be his fault. Maybe if he'd been there, sent someone else to deal with Florence and stayed at the house with her, he wouldn't be dealing with this right now. Maybe then, she wouldn't have been kidnapped and raped.

"Jason?" Britt asks him, noticing he's zoned out. "She's fine. Carly's not pregnant and we gave her a pill just in case to prevent against it. She doesn't have HIV or any other STD's, I ran a full test. As far as I can tell, her uterine health is great right now."

"Thanks, for the update," he thanks her, remembering where he is. "Can I, uh, can I go see her?"

"Yeah, the sedative wore off and she's been complaining and crying for a few minutes. She's in room 3115," she tells him, noting the relief and pain on his face. "You doing okay?"

"What matters right now is whether Carly's okay or not." Jason answers her quickly and his feet take him to the room she's in, somehow. He doesn't even know this hospital that well.

That's new.

"I woke up a few minutes ago and they told me they were looking for you, where were you?" Carly asks, aggravated.

"I was in the lobby," he tells her, wiping away her tears as they come. There's a look of relief on her face through everything, which doesn't surprise him in the slightest.

"Why didn't they let you in before the sedative wore off? I thought I'd been taken again, I was yelling for you," the blonde complains.

"Apparently I'm a hard guy to find."

"You have seven black shirts, seven pairs of blue jeans which you haven't replaced since the 90s, and a leather jacket. That's pretty much all you ever wear. I can't remember the last time you wore a suit. Or a shirt with any color in it at all. How hard could it be to find you?"

"You're just saying that because you always know where I am. It's a sixth sense of yours."

"True. Maybe it's time to spice up your wardrobe with some colorful shirts. We could start with blue and then ease into colors like yellow or white eventually," she suggests cheerfully.

"Carly," he warns. "I like my clothes."

"I know you do, but you need more variety in your life, Jason," Carly argues.

"You keep life interesting enough, trust me," he assures her. "I'm sorry for what happened to you tonight, you know that, right? It's my fault, if I'd gotten there sooner or I hadn't left you alone, this never would've happened."

"No, it's not. Cyrus would've gotten me another way, or he might've gone and snatched one of your kids. Danny, Scout, Jake, they don't deserve that. Neither did I, but if that happened to one of your kids? You wouldn't be able to live with yourself and he could've killed them easier. At least with me, I'm alive. Severely traumatized, but alive," Carly says, hugging him gently as to not hurt herself.

"Yeah but if I'd been there to protect you-"

"Then he would've gotten to you another way or waited until you went to sleep or went back to your dull apartment where the only piece of decor is a moss bowl. I'm a target, alright? We've known this for years, and what happened to me is not your fault. It's as much my fault as it is yours. No one deserves what he did to me, not even that dirt bag himself, and you cannot blame yourself."

"He did this to you as a way to hurt me!"

"And if Sonny were still around it would've been as a way to hurt Sonny. He hates me, alright? Cyrus hates me so much he wanted to hurt me, just as bad as he wanted to hurt you. It's not your fault that he's a monster." She attempts to help him see that it's not his fault, but he doesn't.

"The only reason you know about this business is me. Practically every bad thing you've gone through, Carly, is because of me by extension," he tells her, feeling a tear slip out of his eyes.

"You didn't force me to be a part of the business, Jason. Hell, it was your worst nightmare. I made that choice for myself, to marry Sonny and, when he died, helping you run his territory. I knew the risks and I did it for me, for you, for my family."

"For me?" Jason asks, confused. "How do I factor in?"

"How do you factor in? You're my family and you needed help. Of course I was going to help you! Even when you tried to talk me out of it," the blonde continues, smiling widely.

"That help could've come with Max or Milo or someone else."

"And there's a reason it came in the shape of me. You trust me more than them, even with this business," she smiles.

To be continued when school ends because FUCK IT'S BACK NO

@ryleighjosephine