#i actually feel like i'm gonna go insane today the poverty is hitting so hard
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there's literally no point for me to live here other than to get my degree cuz fuck this place everything is expensive nothing is even worth the shit ton of money i have to spend nothing ever no fuck this i am literally going to move to vietnam or another southeast asian country its cheaper to live there quality of life is better and food tastes good and won't poison you nearly as much fuck america i have enough money to go live out there for at least a few years i just need to get the fuck out i cannot DO THIS ANYMORE
#๐ง#and yes if i had a job that paid me enough most of my problems would disappear#but i can't work and i don't want to work#it makes me suicidal and depressed as fuck#and i'm in school full time i don't even have the capacity for a 15-20 hour job#and i would need to work around that many hours to have enough money#but if i were to work 20 hours and go to school full time i wouldn't even have time to enjoy using the money i'm making lmao#so there would literally be no point lmfaoo#capitalism is so twisted and wicked#either die of poverty or die from working so u don't fall into poverty#great choices we have ๐๐ฝ#A+#i actually feel like i'm gonna go insane today the poverty is hitting so hard#whatyever let me just disassociate for a few months till i get my internship and fellowship money plus financial aid refund#then i should have a decent amount to last me a while#if i don't go reckless#but i usually go more reckless when i have no money bc i'm spiraling#vs when i have enough for a while i spend it more wisely#bc i'm not spiraling and i feel stable and calm#so i don't keep spending money for adrenaline#and this is why i have to stay here i guess#to fight this bllshit#i can't run away ๐#i have to fight and make things better for us#i guess That's why i'm staying#not for the degree#that too but mostly this#plus i do love the culture and heart of my city#even though gentrification has ruined meaningful parts of it already#maybe i'll just move somewhere else in america
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