#i HAVE written a 'deleted scene' so maybe i'll post that hmm...? it needs all the context though.

[non-un-topo]

Just got a wave of affection for my horse OCs... as in, the random horses that appear in my fics

[sothischickshe]

11, 17, 20!

11. What do you envy in other writers?

This is gonna sound cheesy, but jealousy is something that I try to, I guess, actively dismantle for myself? For all things, not just writing.

Like, there have defffffinitely been times where I've read stuff and been like WELL THAT'S SO FUCKING GOOD, I CAN'T DO THAT, WHAT'S THE POINT. but I think that's transitioned into WELL THAT'S SO FUCKING GOOD, I APPRECIATE IT!!! I WONDER IF THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN LEARN FROM IT? IF SO THAT'S COOL! OR MAYBE IT'S JUST VERY DIFFERENT TO HOW I WRITE, AND IF SO THAT'S COOL TOO!!

And I mean, stats/kudos would be an obvious one, but I reallllly think that's mostly stopped having an impact on me? As in, I love kudos obvi, but I don't really pay attention to anyone else's, and I tend to see my stories as weird lil snails in competition with each other?

That said, here are some things I do get a bit jealous of sometimes:

Writers who have the sense to write an idea down when they have it???

Writers who can actively work on multiple stories in the same period

Writers who can respond to comments in a sane fashion????

Writers with a computer that works (I should just back everything up! And get a new one?! But it's so shit! I cannot face the task of trying to back everything up???)

Writers who can write things normally??

Writers with a strong sense of smell

Writers who are yanks and therefore don't think it's fucking batshit to use adjectives where adverbs should clearly go???

17. Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?

I mean, I'm certain that readers must perceive my stories differently to me, they are not me (well one of them is, I spose)! And readers are surely not a monolith? I would expect an array of perceptions!

I think there's often a fair bit of ambiguity to my stories, and I feel like that works for gg? Particularly cos I tend to write quite tight single pov, often unreliably, but also bc stories are ambiguous. I reblogged a Neil Gaiman post a lil while ago but fuck if I can find it or if I would be able to link to it if I could, but it was basically about how there often isn't an answer, that the ambiguity of the story IS the (point of) the story, and I think I broadly agree with that?

Like sometimes im deeply hinting at things that aren't stated and the ambiguity is mm I guess intentional but there's an answer I intend. And other times... Idk that's just the story and I can't say there's a distinct meaning or reason for the thing, it's just sposed to be vague - interpret how you will!!!

I don't know that I can speak to how any readers (other than I!) interpret me.

Hmm well I don't know if this would be surprising in terms of my writing/motivations but it kind of ties in with the above: when I'm thinking through or working out or then writing a story, I'm just thinking about it as a story. Like yea there are logistics, like how do I get a to do b, or into a better fucking mood so they stop yelling, but it's not really about how to convey parallels or comparisons or character notes. That stuff mostly comes in the edit. So when I write it, I often have no idea why stuff is there. I'll just be like I KNOW I NEED A SENTENCE WITH AN ICE CREAM, or whatever. and when I come to type it up im often like what the fuck is this for?? And I have to fight hard against deleting it!! And then when I'm editing I'll be like ohhhh this is here as a contrast to all the shit about the HOT PIES (or whatever), dang I'm glad I left this in!!! OK time to double down on or emphasise this somehow!!!!

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

Afghff this is so hard cos I wanna yell about time 3 but I haven't even written any of it yet 😂

I'm gonna pull out something a lil silly, but @mego42 reminded me of an example in bdtn and it's something I do a fair bit, which is these ludicrous juxtapositions.

The one in bdtn is when rio asks Beth to watch Marcus for a bit n is like OI DON'T GIVE HIM LOADS OF SUGAR, and then Beth's like hmm should I make cookies with the kids?? (also that includes her thinking something about not starting something you can't finish 😇)

There's one in dirty dirty game where Beth just walks off from rio in the mid of a convo cos she can't be bothered with it, and v shortly after is musing on how he doesn't understand how conversations work 😂

I just like stuff like that cos it's not exactly textual but the placement makes it funny? I hardcore think that Beth is allergic to listening to anything rio is trying to say at almost any time, and that they're both absolute fucking hypocrites. It's also the kind of thing that I think a reader might not consciously notice, but I think bits like that kind of sink in and impact the experience of reading something??