#i GUESS its long idk its rambly and im trying to make sense of what we've seen

[readingwiththestars]

₊˚⊹♡ THE GRANDEST GAME

["Riddles are for people who enjoy playing,” .... “Do you consider yourself playful, Mr. Hawthorne?”]

| ✮ 4 stars |

THOUGHTS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [!!!!SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!] this is very long guys sorry

ok so *cracks knuckles* lets talk about tgg

!!warning i'm finishing this like four days after i read tgg so i might've forgotten things because reading until 2am and remembering what i read is apparently a hard thing for me to do!!

first of all.... JLB, you and i need to have a chat because that ending was not okay. you literally just left us with no answers. seriously. what the hell????? and while i wanna kick my feet and scream because we got two kisses and then you had to go ahead and ruin it in the span of two or three pages and give us that shitty ending.

i would like to point out one question i had through out the book, which was why was grayson playing? what was the point of that???? like seriously was there an actual need for him to play or was it just jameson, avery, xander and nash fucking with him? whatever it was it didn't make sense and just felt like jlb was trying to shove lyra and grayson into forced proximity so they could interact.

speaking of thatttt i love graysonlyra and rohansav (more thoughts on sav later) the banter the looks the touches the everything i love it sm omg AND AVERYJAMESON!!!!!!! THE CRUMBS WE WERE GETTING MADE ME SO HAPPY OMG!!! I CAN DIE HAPPY!!

i will say i feel jlb really did pull out all the stops for this book the different levels of everyone's connection and knowledge of how to solve the riddles/puzzles (i was literally CLUELESS) like how does one make all that connect. the level of detail was insane connecting books and characters together just weaving some kind of intricate web of characters.

and at first i did feel like the game felt really short but i think that was just my 2am dumbass brain forgetting this is only the first part of the game lol. i did kinda hope there would be more like running around and trying to solve things on the actual island not stuck in a house though but who knows whats happening in the next book soooo

it did get very confusing there with calla (who is fucking INSANE BY THE WAY!!! SHE TORTURED KNOX??? WTF????) and the whole calla lily thing with lyra and odette was confusing af. so its like calla (the person) has a connection with knox and brady and then a calla lily has a connection with odette and lyra (also kinda gray cause he knows abt it i guess)

and and and and im a die hard gigislate shipper (and brady daniels hater) so im praying that we get an enemies to lovers with gigi and slater where he's forced to be mean/hate or wtv because of *gags* eve and then its like oop no im breaking you out of here idc what eve thinks because i only care abt you. ESPCIALLY because gigi was talking abt how no ones ever looked at her the way jameson looks at avery throughout the book (SOMEBODY HIRE ME FR)

OK THATS ENOUGH RAMBLING ITS TIME TO FOR THE CHARACTERS

CHARACTERS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

lyra - ok i love her. she was such a good strong character it was so much fun to read about her interactions (with grayson 😏) she was actual so wife material but idk why i felt like i wasnt allll that into her character too much like i love her but didn't really feel connected with her?? idk she was a very good fmc to read about tho!! but i do wanna know about miles end and her whole connection with her dead dad (who btw is an ass who tf kills themself in front of a FOUR YEAR OLD???) and whoever's stalking here (honestly i had a whole ass thing thinking its ALL PROBABLY EVE LIKE SHE WOULDA DONE THAT MUCH RESEARCH OR SOMETHING or maybe eve was js there for gigi) but now i think it might've been something to do with alice. who knows honestly

gigi - this is my time to shineeeeee. if gigi has zero fans i am dead (and slater bc im delusional like that) i love gigi so much omg. she's my no 1 girl i love her. my girl just needs someone to love her fr she talks through out the book about how she wants to be looked at with so much love (she thought it was brady BUT NO EW) i loved reading from her perspective abt how she just wanted to prove that she was good enough to be in the game AND SHE IS!!! im still bitter about her getting kicked out of the game - AND IM NOT EVEN GONNA TOUCH ON THE WHOLE KIDNAPPING AT THE END (GIGISLATE ENEMIES TO LOVERS WHEN????)

rohan - marry me. thats it. honestly just marry me. u need to work on ur nicknames tho- it was super interesting to read about his way of think and the whole labyrinth thingy lol. there wasn't too much more about his backstory tho WHICH IM SO INVESTED IN FR. WHAT DO YOU MEAN HIS FIRST MEMORY IS DROWNING????

savannah - girboss fr. she could step on me and i'd say thank you. its really interesting to me how (obviously) she's been manipulated by eve and it'll be super interesting to see how jlb will play out her whole revenge plan. she's extremely driven which is admirable and a good characters (she's literally like a female grayson imo - which also reminds me of that one scene where she goes "i am grayson hawthornes sister" which made me smile so big fr)

there are so many characters oml

knox - ok so my buddy boy knox. broski, brozilla, broville, brother from another mother, u need a hug? i didn't really like him in the beginning tbh he was a moody lil girl working through his issues. but after a while when he warmed to gigi it was nice to see the softer side to him (which tbh wasnt for very long until oop trauma dumpppp) but seriously oml knox baby the scar???? imma find calla fr (jlb cant write new characters also why complicate the shit out of everything and have a calla lily be relevant to lyra and also have calla be a person???) i did like how sweet/soft he was with gigi when she fell though that warmed my heart.

odette - iconic grandma shit tbh. she was third wheeling the entire time and at some points actually seemed like she was shipping them but then two seconds later she was warning them? saying no? idk the whole 'seizure' thing seems faker than eve's lies. and the fact she instantly gave brady the watch after gigi said no. like um what about knox? idk if thats js my brady hate coming through here though so yeah idk if i trust her or not (bet everyone is working for eve except for gigi, lyra and rohan)

grayson - marry me. love me. choose me. pls. i'd do ANYTHING. my simping for this man aside. IT WAS SO GODDAMN REFRESHING TO SEE A HEALING GRAYSON. like yes. it made me so happy to see him admit he was wrong but also know that its okay to be wrong skdjhaasd. this is so short because i love him and cant write proper thoughts about him fr.

brady - *cracks even more knuckles* brady daniels....... you know i've always wanted to know what it'd be like to write a hate paragraph. i guess im finding out now. i hate him. literally. i have unbridled hate for this man - who by the way still shocks me that he's only 20 he acts like he saw the fucking first world war. its one of the reasons i never liked him like he sooo took advantage of gigi's smartness and kindness like HE DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING during the game gigi carried the entire team and when she refused to take odette's watch and then him instantly taking it. ICKKKK don't even mention how he lied abt his mom like dude just admit it you knew you were fucking cooked in that fight and the only way you could win was by lying. AND WHAT ABOUT THE WHOLE BOMBSHELL ABOUT HOW (i cant remember his name but the dude who raised knox, calla and brady) died??? and then being a little shit and dropping gigi's heart. like we get it u dumbass man child u think you're clever cause u can speak so many languages and read even more but NO. i was onto you, i never trusted your crusty old man ass. like he even touched gigi without her permission (on the stomach) which so gross to me, the dogshit under my shoe can do better than you brady. seriously. i hate him. i'm the leader and founder of the I HATE BRADY DANIELS CLUB. so thats at least something to sate my anger. help this got so long 😭

QUOTES ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [i'm putting like two because this already wayyyyy to long for anyone to actually bother reading.]

"you will come back to me, or i will make you come back to me." - grayson

"Beside Avery, Jameson was looking at her like she was the sun and the moon and the stars and eternity, all rolled into one." - gigi

"give me your eyes sweetheart." - grayson

if you're here at the end of this *APPLAUSE* i commend you on getting through that kilometre of my shit thoughts. have a piece of cake 🍰

[crguang]

ahajsksbywpqp sat guess who has 2 tests in the same week in the same class next week. Not very fun for me. anyway I was think abt Kafka (honestly when am I not is the real question). See if it wasn’t Kafka in ur au and I was r I would definitely turn her in for the money, but I unfortunately think I might like Kafka just like a little bit ig so I don’t think k would be able to do that .

Reread part 3 today is her fingers twitching bc she wants to shoot something or is it just bc Kafka and her fingers. Ok thats not what I meant but also…what I meant was that she works with her fingers a lot I wish she used them on me instrument, guns, etc. we still haven’t gotten an in game Kafka appearance w an actual violin, it probably won’t happen but I’m still holding out. And she’s the highest threat level possible for a criminal but she STILL commits petty theft. She is so I saw someone say that the stellaron hunters were all siblings, Kafka and blade are like the older siblings that have to drive/pay for everything, silver wolf is the gamer (so original) and firefly is the youngest. Wish they had more in game interactions, or like they had synergy, meta wise, since canonically they’re one of the most tight knit groups.

oh also your inbox must be full as fuck so it’s fine if you don’t reply to everything, esp bc you answer a lot of stuff, and even tho someone already said this ur rlly great to talk to ur thoughts are always more coherent than mine. And we all get to simp over hot fictional women together.

ngl I might start playing ptn, like I’ve been seeing screenshots and…wow, I don’t think I have enough storage tho. I think the two types of characters I usually like are tiny mentally ill ones and hot evil women, so…

im so sorry my messages are always so long btw, I keep rambling 😭

-🌠

aaaa study well and good luck for your tests!!! hope you get a good grade and if u dint i will hack i to your prof’s computer and change it for you

im with you entirely, if it was anyone else in that story i wouldve already called the cops LMFAOOO kafka gets privileges because shes hot and my fav unfortunately… for the finger thing, i think its just one of her quirks! in her idle she mimics playing the violin and like you said she has very dexterous hands (even mentions it in a voice line) so i think she’d absentmindedly move them around when her mind is elsewhere. this is the kind of overthinking i was talking about, when i map out a character in my head i think about the most irrelevant stuff that dont matter😭 but imo they add to her charm a little and make her a rounder character, idk. AND YES i love that her crimes go from suicide inducement to petty theft shes so ridiculous hfjfhdhfj that time in her character story where she just walked in a store and took clothes off the rack then left in front of everyone… shes funny as hell😭

i see the SH as family too! silver wolf and firefly are sisters to me, and both of them are def kafka’s little sisters. i think silver wolf is the youngest though, she even gives off sassy youngest child vibes. i wish they could work together too, having them all in one team would be so nice. but it’s also cool that each of them has a speciality, it makes sense for the work they do

my inbox is full i think i have around 70 asks rn…😭 but to be fair a lot of them are veryyy old i just havent gotten around to cleaning up my blog yet, i’ll do it at the same time i change my masterlist and actually make it pretty to look at. i usually try to click on notifs as soon as i see them but like i said, i just forget to type my answers </3

and omg. anon. if your type is mentally ill and hot evil women ptn is literally the game for you. there is an abundance of mentally ill women in there, trust me… like there’s every kind of character you could want in that game— you could give me a specific type and i could find you a character that matches it, you should definitely play. and if you do, do it before the second anniversary ends (starts around mid/late-october) bc trust me you are gonna be upset if you miss shalom :/

dont worry abt ramblingggg i love talking to u and answering every point it’s really nice!!

[lividjungle]

how would you define bi-gay in your experience?? asking bc it might be something im interested in as far as defining myself but idk bc i havent seen many ppl actually talk abt their experience and how it feels bc theyre usually just having to deal with assholes who are freaking out over someones identity that has literally nothing to do w them,, srry if youve answered smthn like this b4 btw

i havent gotten an ask abt it before its fine ^_^ i will say though that labels like mine can mean wildly different things between people and my reasonings for labeling myself this way . there is a LOT of variety within "mspec gay" communities as people have dubbed them and my experience may be completely different from someone else's. as someone who also went thru the same struggle of not knowing if it fit my only advice is to try it and see how you feel, because thats how i got here and i just in general hold the belief that if youre thinking abt a label theres probably a good reason behind it, even if you dont end up sticking with it in the end

anyways im putting my ramble under tha cut becaus it might be long. i like talking. yayy frolic

if something here does not make sense please be nice i am just generally Not very good at speaking, especially when it comes to explaining shit like feelings on stuff, and also i have a headache

my label as a bi gay man specifically stems from the fact that the way i experience attraction to men feels distinctly different from the way i experience attraction to women, but also not distinct enough to define it in a more concrete way like aesthetic or romantic attraction (the latter of which i do not experience). it's a very weird feeling and something i just kind of know rather than something i can explain. its also partially that i dont experience attraction towards those groups in equal amounts, and that feels significant enough for me to not feel completely comfortable calling myself only bi, because i feel as though that frames my attraction to both groups as the same amount, i guess? and that also ties back to feeling as though the way i experience attraction to those two groups is different

i briefly considered calling myself both gay and straight because i think its extremely funny (shoutout to people who do that. you're so real) but i like the label of bi more. i couldnt really give a reason for this other than it just feels more accurate

im still figuring out this specific aspect of my identity and how exactly things feel "different" outside of a weird nebulous feeling of them being different for no apparent reason but for right now this is what i've settled on calling myself and its helped a lot. but again a lot of people will have many different experiences with these sorts of labels

[suw4]

sorry, i have not been looking at my drafts. i cant bring myself to write. i dont find it enjoyable as of late. i didnt want to make this post for a lot of reasons but like,, i wanted to inform yall this. i dont want to say im discontinuing all of my works because yk i rather please yall than myself. and i never wanted to be those writers where they just discontinued something that their readers considered good. before i was a writer, i was a reader. so it was heartbreaking to see no updates. and i understand that feeling as a reader.

ive set such high standards for myself. write longer stories, trying to perfect my english and make my stories more interesting and not repetitive. i guess i dwell on that a lot that i find it really infuriating. lately, it felt my english has gotten worse. so theres that. my stories felt off. in summary, i suck at writing now.

idk what else to say so imma start rambling here.

i love yall readers. god, i really do. you lot made me feel good about my writing. im so glad that everyone (well, at least most) liked it. im also so glad that i helped other people through my stories, influenced them to write their own. it was a huge honour, honestly. i feel good. i felt good. its just frustrating now that i cant bring the same energy anymore.

going pass that, i feel bad for the ones that have requested and i have not written anything yet. or more of i did write something but i couldn't continue it. there are requests from like 2yrs ago that i havent finished. just imagining them waiting for years while i wrote other stories feels unfair. idk maybe i think i just feel a lot.

okay most importantly. am i going to discontinue or not?

i dont want to. there are so many stories left in my drafts that i long for everyone to read. im just holding onto hope that someday in my heart, my love for writing would come back. and i fucking hope it does.

my other works, like the sickening blame. that book is so infuriating, i swear. i had written that because i was inspired on a what if scenario that i wanted to write. but ive never gotten to that point cause the story felt like it doesnt make sense. (or more like, i didnt plan shit and i just started writing while going with the flow). at that point, i was writing, thinking the reader is an oc and not as you, the reader. which i know some people dont like. but i still kept it up because there are readers who likes that book (im rambling again oops)

😔😔😔 i hate this ok thats it.

for the ones that are still here, i love yall. you guys are precious to me. bye

[starhvney]

another love letter to your subject 3 series. cuz. im obsessed. “dilf” “real” is my favorite interaction . ever. i love the relationship between aphmau and reader! like the older/younger sister they never had. its really sweet to see how they care about each other and stick together, even if they met not too long ago (and dont remember eachother). the contrast but similarities are so sweet i just love seeing them together. you pointed out in chapter 1 that “It was like her anxiety had overpowered yours, making you somehow feel a sense of guardianship over her.” and i think it describes them perfectly. cant wait to see how aaron and reader interact as well. theres a lot of ways you could write their relationship and im exited to see how you do! ein too tbh. hope reader sets him straight 🫶 (gives him the ivy treatment. watch gene pull up again like guess what quality i got the photo in. guess.) and the moms!! i think a mom trio makes more sense than a duo but. thats just me. they are soooo silly. zane noticing(?) the tears in readers eyes at the end of and a dinner…… my maternal instincts are acting up towards every character in this series lowkey. and our dad (trying to) give us a switchblade. and the moms exclaiming that it IS in fact on sight if anyone messes with their girls. catch THEM giving ein the ivy treatment. our dad and garte are recording w gene if you look closely. sorry none of these thoughts are in order i just need to ramble.

me reading this after spending my day at work wondering if my story building and planning was bad or not 😭😭😭 thank you so much

it genuinely makes me so happy that people are liking the fic so much, i’ve put a ton of effort and time into it so far :,) you made my day with this it means so much

i really wanted to write the characters having meaningful and trusting relationships that go deeper than surface level, so i’m really glad that’s coming across like i hoped!! i personally highly value platonic relationships and i really love writing about them!! plus i also want to make the adults way more reliable and involved than they are in the show. for as insanely protective as they act and are described, they don’t do a whole lot of… protecting and involving themselves?? idk i just feel like there should be more of that

[foggymud]

WELCOME TO "Raw Ingredients" ep.1!! the game show where we take ur fav cookie. And dive deep too figure out what swims beneath the calm waters of the lotus paradise

today we have the newest adition to oven break, thats right the one the only the cutie!POND DINO!! or pondy for short!

So where to start? Lets see....well for one pondy isn't what they seam,there not a gummy dinosour like the ones we've seen before! They are actualy inspierd by the forget-me-not [or fmn if i ever refer to it again] flower! The name was changed in traslación for what ive heard leading too pond dino to be what we know them as!

Pond dino is also one of the few cookies with the slit eye design! While not exclusive to dragons this trait is ussualy shared among them excluding lychee [wich May play into there potencialy sucubus inspierd design, next ri might be on em ectualy]

wich further reinforces there relevance to the dragon story! And longan there self says that pondy is the only foil to there plan,more on that laiter.[side note: not all slit eye or slit like eye cookies are in the image showned]

Another thing worth of note is pondy's shape and body design, as a New born baby dino it makes sense there small stubby and chubby,but a weird thing is that they where born with not only super long "hair" that seams too twist rather then sway as well as a flower that-

APARANTLY IS EATHER SENTIENT OR APART OF THEM???? Wich all of this leads me too belive this is all apart of there boddy, meaning pondy has 6 limbs [huh kinda make sense why there with lotus now] one set of back and front flippers + the hair flippers.

and finnaly in terms of the design we have pondys color palet! Its quite simple being made out of the face tone, primeraly 2 to 3 shades of blue, some cream yellows for the eyes,flower,and tummy, as well as white for extra detail and purple for the eyes,2th layer of the flower and.....segmentación on the chest?? Im not gonna try to understand why a nonbinary they/its new born lizard that already looks quite femenet needed boob segmentación on there upper body so lets just move on.

As ive not seen the hold story i won't be able to talk much about the lore but looks like there isn't much to cover? They where born from an egg that showed up in a place where "ancient magic once held sway" if i had to guess the lotus palace or the lotus lake its self as it did have quite the amount of magical things besides lotus there self, such as lesser dragons wich while not new as we've seen them all over the place, the little elfs that worked for lotus alongside the hydrangean cookies, and that time longan sent there despicable me looking eye balls there so yeah theres a lot of magic.

And if you remember i did say i was gonna talk about longans "the only foil to my plan" line earlier so lets start with this final segment!, i belive what this line refers to is that there atempts at destroying cookie kind might not be that eficient if life [aka pond] can still emerge from it, they sunk an entierd palace and possibly flooded a hold island and jet a cookie was borned from this destrucción, longan seams to know what this implies as while still a baby pond thretends there hold plan just by existing somhow, maybe will see somthing simmilar to pond in the future, eather other babys from the ananas and pitaya islands [maybe lychee as well idk how bad there island is as the longan break out starts deep below the surface], some kind of figure or presence in history, or maybe a New legend? Who knows!

Side note below if you wanna read

Hi thanks too anyone who reads this far into the post! Even thru my crazy theories and endless rambles y bad grammer, i hope it was understandable to some degree. If you have anything that i may have forgot, got wrong, and even wanna add or share what you think on anything regarding this post feal free to inform me!. Anyways hope this was a ok post at best as i hope to do more like this in the future as it was tons of fun for me even if im not trully sure on how to takle this

[astronautical-v]

Dumping almost every thought i have about the dwemer in an incoherent ramble because i have too many ideas and nothing to do with them. I have only played skyrim and know some about morrowind and read up on a ton of lore so im probably way off in a lot of places

Was thinking about the "fifteen-and-one sacred tones" that the dwemer mention and im trying to think. What the hell does that even mean? Obviously its reminiscent of the "eight-and-one" divines which implies its something to do with the aedra and daedra. So its either the eight divines (since talos wasnt a thing yet) and eight of the daedric princes OR all sixteen daedric princes. Since there just so happen to sixteen of them (as of then. Ithelia wouldnt have been known by them or anyone else around that time anyway). But then that begs the question, whos the "and one"? Whos the outlier? Im guessing either sheogorath or malacath. Sheogorath bc hes the daedric prince of madness and therefore the least predictable of them all, but also because sheogorath is also jyggalag, making him different from the rest of the daedric princes, as well as the fact that a mortal can become sheogorath just as tiber septim could become a god. Malacath because he used to be trinimac, and trinimac is present in im pretty sure every elven pantheon, and the dwemer, despite not believing in the divinity of the aedra or daedra, are very much elves, and would probably have known about trinimac just because of other mer. If malacath used to be a god, then it would make sense that the dwemer would consider him to be an outlier. Supposedly even other cultures dont always see malacath as a real daedric prince either, and malacath himself has to do with those who are scorned, othered, etc.

The dwemer probably viewed the daedra and aedra as nothing more than energies, the tones that make up the world (or something like that), but focused less of the divines and more on the daedra because the daedric princes are MUCH more present and involved on mundus than the aedra tend to be. The dwemer simply did not believe they were anything worth worshipping, or even considering to be above them. They recognized the power that they had, though, which is why they were called the "sacred" tones. I guess. I dunno. Alternatively, it was the eight divines and 8 daedric princes, but i dont know which of them they would be.

And regarding the term "fifteen-and-one", i was wondering what the 16 tones could possibly have an equivalent to in real life. I also wondered how they programmed any of their machines to do what they wanted, then somewhat jokingly came to the conclusion that they used some kind of dial-up and transmitted data via sound. But then doing a bit of research i found this:

16 tones. Crazy. Wow. Felt like i hit a revelation. Unfortunately i dont understand how that stuff works so i was reading a whole lotta words and not absorbing that much of them (i am not technologically adept). But the mention of radio was also really important because theres plenty of proof that the dwemer DID in fact have radio technology. Theres an item called "dwemer coherer", and a coherer is a really really old form of radio communication that basically only really worked for morse code messages and kinda sucked at it, but it was radio. And thats huge.

Regarding the radio stuff, i do think the dwemer had actual telepathy but that they also used radio. I think maybe their telepathy just wasnt as long range and probably like using a walkie-talkie but with their minds. Idk. I think the only way that kagrenac couldve used "the calling" to affect EVERY dwemer ever is if it was some sort of direct mental connection, and if every dwemer had that ability it would explain how it worked. Maybe kagrenac just amplified it somehow bc of the heart. And it would explain why yagrum bagarn wasnt affected, because if it wasnt some sort of telepathy then whatever kagrenac did with the heart would have simply had to affect every dwemer regardless of where they were. But since yagrum wasnt in mundus at the time, the calling never reached him, so he wasnt affected, and i just think that means it had to be telepathy. Idk im not explaining this point well but i hope it makes some amount of sense.

With that all said i think if they did have telepathy i also think their ears would be pointer and more mobile. Like radio antenna. Just because its fun to think about. They can "tune in" and out of other peoples... callings? I guess? Idk. They probably used radio primarily for longer distance communication.

With all the stuff about sound, it brings me to the falmer. I dont know why the dwemer did that to the falmer and im not sure if they were already all fucked up by the time the dwemer disappeared but im pretty sure they werent. But thinking about that thing in eso that they just had a huge machine that could make people go crazy and even mind control them, as well as in skyrim on solstheim that guy who was losing his mind over some weird dwemer thing under his house that emits a really deep sound if you listenclosely and ignore the steam pump sound (though i have no idea what "fire from the deep" could possibly mean, other than dwemer lived underground and had forges. Idk), their usage of tones was really for everything. They could probably hear a wider range of frequencies than other races and observed the effects of those frequencies on other people. Consider how old structures and machines irl produce very low frequency sounds that can and do affect the mind.

The dwemer very much could have used infrasound in their own technology for various reasons, but its probably what made the falmer what they are today. And, also likely, that the lack of maintenance of machines and whatever (since all the dwemer disappeared and automatons can only do so much) caused them to go "out of tune" and probably produce more infrasound that is impossible for anyone other than a dwemer to hear, which would have greatly affected the falmer mentally. Thinking about how gelebor notes that the falmer seem to have a "rise in intelligence" recently is probably because the falmer in the forgotten vale are so far from any dwemer ruin that they arent being affected by the infrasound they produce. Im sure infrasound alone wouldnt have caused such a huge chance in a whole race but this is also fantasy magic world so im saying this all as the dwemer had some elder scrolls world equivalent of it. The falmer developing sensitive hearing was maybe a way that their bodies tried to adjust to the infrasound so as to not be driven completely insane by it, along with aiding their navigation while blind.

And since this is fantasy magic land, this all also reminds me of string theory. The theory that everything that ever exists is made up of little one-dimensional strings, closed or open, that vibrate. And well sound is a vibration and theres a connection there that i havent fully understood to think through but it would help explain why theyre so atheistic in a world where gods are very much real. They just think everything is a form of energy that they are trying to figure out how to harness. And they succeeded in a lot of ways. If everything is made of vibrating energy, or tones, then you can simply make other tones and do stuff with that. Does that make sense? I dont know how to explain exactly what i mean. They probably had tone tech that helped them with excavation and whatnot. Breaking stones with sound. Idk. You can even shatter kidney stones with sound. Its pretty cool.

Also i think the dwemer ate a lot of mushrooms as their primary cuisine. It only makes sense. Living in places that have mushrooms everywhere. Probably how they knew about the toxic mushrooms that blind you if you eat them. Also they had a mushroom farm in blackreach.

I like to imagine the dwemer singing. Thats probably not how they did tonal architecture stuff but its fun to imagine they could do that vocally anyway. Idk

Uhh i dont think i have anything else i remember thinking about tbh. Im so interested in how their tech works and what they used it all for. Worldbuilding type of stuff. I dont know what to think about the soul gems or whatever the hell is going on with kagrenzel or the lexicon in avanchnzel. But yeah

[pidgecv]

early morning ramblings///

posting this for funsies

pidge talks about romance as horror for far too long and makes no sense in the process 2024 colorized

relationships as a vessel for psychological horror has always been something that fascinates me. take killing stalking for example. a viscerally disgusting and terrible work of horror fiction that i honestly find really compelling conceptually. now did SOME of the fandom™️ completely miss the point and just go “omg yaoi” yes, they did. and yeah the story is like,, not my thing exactly in execution i didn’t finish the comic itself. im not the biggest fan of gore and it crossed my personal line into shock horror (got a bit too into the wrong kind of uncomfortable) but it’s all preference. however, the inherent horror of things like stockholm syndrome, or the idea of a frankenstein being infatuated with his monster not because of who they are but because he made them are both SO interesting. imagine a person loving someone who they have manipulated and abused past the point of humanity. not romantically necessarily (though yeah that’s totally a thing, that all-consuming fascination being misunderstood as a sick romance) rather like a personal project they’re absolutely obsessed with. their creation. except that creation has feelings as well. or maybe in extreme cases, used to at least. problem is it’s difficult to write platonically, since a lot of that stuff can come off as romanticizing abuse and it’s a very delicate topic. deffo easier to have someone eat their own arm and call it a day. going back to stockholm syndrome, in a way it’s a removal of agency (which is a staple of horror media lol). so the horror could be applied both ways, the obsessed and the obsession. the monster and its twisted creator. the inhuman and the inhumane. idk it’s just so damn interesting. it gets complicated and tricky to pull off, but horror doesn’t mix well with cut corners. i may try and expand on this sort of idea but in a far less extreme way for the swapverse. absolutely nothing romantic, in fact i headcanon (or i guess canon?) both versions of cleo as aroace (fully, not just somewhere in the middle of the aroace spectrum but completely disinterested in romance and sex repulsed) ((mostly just wanted to explore familial and platonic bonds without having to consider any sort of romantic stuff)) (((yes s!cleo had a boyfriend pre apox. it was qpr, they were both aroace but were besties for the resties and were gonna marry for tax purposes))). but i’d love to pull off a platonic obsession. jo would absolutely obsess over her work. she would be so proud of herself for creating cleo. living (debatably) proof of her skill. her magnum opus. every success of cleo’s is actually jos, but also every failure is taken the same way. jo sees it as her own failure, and takes out that selfish anger on cleo or even V sometimes. cleo struggles with her humanity. she was one of the first infected. not patient 0, but one of the first. early enough to have been institutionalized and studied at least. and jo has twisted her memories so much that cleo doesn’t know anything about herself except that she belongs to jo. she’s property, a dangerous weapon. that’s what makes their deaths so poetic. jo dies at the hands of V, through her own weapon. because while cleo hit the detonator, it was V who rigged the bomb. Cleo and jo depend on each other so much. the way you need the sword to cut but the sword needs you to polish. to sharpen. even to forge. of course V is the only one who survives. cleo was never going to be able to live without jo and vice versa. they weren’t friends. they weren’t family. they were something else entirely, something torturous and hateful and tragic. a dynamic of lies and manipulation and cruelty. they died as they lived, together. while the original final lives cast was threatened by the new world, they managed to overcome it by being a team. in the swapverse, the outside world was never the threat. they dominated the apocalypse, thriving compared to the og crew. but they were torn apart from the inside, and they couldn’t overcome it. yet another reflection of the original cast. i was gonna type more but hit tumblr limit goodnight fazgang

[nerves-nebula]

how did you get your au to be so popular

i wish to follow in thine footsteps of getting lots of questiond (i have crippling asd and beg to be given permission to infodump)

lol but like seriously, how long'd it take for you and also you got any tips? kay thats really it haha thanks 🙏 😭

oh mannn i dunnoooooooo. this aint my first au and tbh part of the success just comes from the fact that tmnt is like. a really big fandom, cause of all the iterations and how old the story is. i had a few similarly abuse-focused AU's for the owl house, and then i was obsessed with sun wukong & jttw for a solid few months there. (sorry, rambling, to get back on track-)

its not like i TRIED to be popular (feels like a weird thing to call myself. popular?? lmao i have like 5 friends) i just didnt avoid it either by like, idk, not tagging or w/e. I mean you basically just have to make stuff and keep making stuff forever. people will find it eventually, even if its only a couple of them who really engage in it.

AND CONSUME ART!! not just fandom stuff i mean whatever floats your boat, books (audiobooks in my case) movies comics- that's important to!! take note of everything you like in stories, write it down if you wanna. oh yeah and be pretentious (by which i mean, read symbolism into everything that you want to)

What I'm doing on this blog is basically what I was doing my entire life anyway, (drawing, making up stories, doing character design shit) except now i have people interested in it.

i really wasnt confident enough to do fandom stuff until like, first year of college tbh. at that point the owl house was like the main thing i relied on for any sense of relief cause my life was BAD bad haha.

OH ALSO I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING YOU'RE MISSING HERE:

(i have crippling asd and beg to be given permission to infodump)

I've got this BAD IRL, but the thing i remind myself is that this is MY BLOG and if someone doesn't wanna hear my rambling they can LEAVE. ALWAYS INFODUMP. ALWAYS RAMBLE. if attention is what you want then I'd suggest just genuinely talking about what you're passionate about, and if no one is asking you then ask yourself!

like, make a post that starts with "hey do u guys wanna hear about how much of a mess my three headed character is?? no?? TOO BAD HERE wE GO!!"

i really don't have a ton of advice hahhh this is all very ramble-y and im basically just telling you what I do. most of all I think it's important to like, not TRY to be popular tbh. don't try to be popular, try to make what you like the most and what you'd wanna see other people make- and that stuff will draw in the kind of people whose attention matters the most.

which is easier said than done i guess if you crave attention but its sooo much better than worrying about followers or something i promise.

like, if I wanted to be popular I wouldn't have advised myself to talk about incest and sa and all the shit that I do. but i dont wanna be popular, I wanna get the attention of people who ALSO like those stories and i want to explore themes of abuse that those people ALSO want to explore.

LONG STORY SHORT: I DUNNO MAN.

[bruce-wayne-simp]

Ok yall im about to watch Remainder (2015)

I love how when i started my Sandman obsession i was like 'ok but we arent gonna get obsessed with Tom Sturridge' and now here we are. Ive watched Pirate Radio like 3 times and now im watching this

Disclaimer: idk what exactly this movie is about. Ive read a synopsis before but that was a while ago and i forgot what it was so 🤷‍♀️

The rest is under a read more, so, incoherent rambling ahead (hopefully). If not ill just be yelling abt how pretty he is i guess

Spoilers ahead

Oh god its starting aaahhhh

Hes panting....

So he's walking around frantically (but not like. Panicked) with a suitcase

Ok he left his luggage and now something fell-

HOLY SHIT he just got bashed in the head by something falling

How is he not fucking dead that was BRUTAL

Oh ok so hes basically dead??

Oh no hes awake actually

3 minutes in and this is a rollercoaster already jesus

Ok so he's in the MRI end he's remembering something

Ok creepy old lady

HE'S SPEAKING AAAAHHHH

Oooh he's scraggly here. Long hair and a beard

Ouch i feel bad for him :( he got tea and then fell while carrying it back to the bed

Did he rip the phone cord out of the wall on purpose

Ok tbh this is getting kinda tedious

Ooooh wait now its getting interesting

Ok so hes in the phone booth bcs he accidentally(?) pulled his phone cord out of the wall and this guy is impatient and wants to use the phone but gives up and goes away.

Then these two guys pull up in a car and are trying to get him out of the phone booth. The guy from before pulls out his phone and starts recording and one of the two guys reveals he has a gun. The guy recording manages to spook the two guys off.

Tom (T. Sturridge's character) gets out of the booth with the help of the recording guy, looks at him intensely and calls him Christopher. Chris gets kinda freaked out bcs that's his name and Tom somehow knows it.

INTRIGUING. Which is great bcs i was about to skip forward

Oh shit now there's some lady in his house

He knows her??? Ok

Also he did rip the phone out of the wall on purpose

Oh thank god hes getting a haircut

Oh also btw hes getting a settlement for the accident which is 8.5 million pounds but after taxes and stuff itll be like in the hundred thousands. The catch is that he can't talk about it. Which to him is all well and good bcs he doesn't remember anything about it.

Its kinda implied by this point that there's more to this than just an accident

Aww he's talking to the lady (idk her name and at this point we don't know his either) and he says he remembers her. He specifically remembers seeing her right before the accident (which we saw earlier), he remembers her smell and remembers kissing her or someone who looks like her

They're in the lawyers office and GOD is he pretty here

I noticed the way he moves his hands kinda oddly in The Sandman and i wondered if that was a character choice but i think he just Does That?? Idk we'll see

Im so confused. What??

I'm even more confused

How dare he look pretty with blood on his face looking pathetic in the subway

Oh shit thats a little complicated

So he went to this guys house where hes having a halloween party. The dudes name is Greg(??) and knows our guy. We find out the lady's name is Catherine and she is Gregs wife. Our guy is kinda agitated and trying to leave (for some reason) and Greg keeps pulling him back. Greg drops that she is/was his wife and that shes a liar and our guy pushes past him, goes into the bathroom amd vomits in the sink.

"Blizz. I think youre bad at explaining. None of this makes sense!" Exactly. Im even more confused

I have faith this will all make sense soon. We are only 30 mins in.

Is this just a 'this movie' thing or a British thing?? Is everyone this impatient all the time?? First hes in the phone booth for literally 5 seconds before someone tells him to hurry up. Now hes in the bathroom for maybe like 1 minute before people are like 'hey hurry it tf up' like CHILL yall

Ok nows a good time to mention this. He keeps having visions/flashbacks of this little boy in a red and blue coat and a creepy old lady

Oh shit that was intersting. Ok so he had a vision of walking around his flat and he winds up in the stairwell and he sees the old lady. She says something and he cant make it out so he asks 'What?' and she looks kind of up and next to him and the little boy is right there. The boy holds a hand out, our guy closes his eyes and he opens them to find himself still in the bathroom.

Wild. Ok. Im a bit more intrigued than confused now

Ok he was in the bathroom for an hour apparently. Theyre justified in yelling at him. But he also suffered severe brain damage so 🤷‍♀️

✨️arts and crafts time✨️

Catherines back!

He's kinda wary of her after his convo with Greg but she shows pics of herself in Oxford (where she said she was going) then they start bantering a bit and he says theyve had this conversation before and asks if she remembers and she says no :(

They're kissing aahhh

Oh shit Greg called her

He threw her phone at the wall and told her to get the fuck out

Hes not having a good time. Tbh he never was

Ok so he made a cardboard house during his arts and crafts time. For what? I have no idea.

Ok he lifted up the top and now he just destroyed it. Forget about the house we hate the house

Ok actually don't forget about the house he's calling realtors to ask about the house he recreated

Use a laptop you loser ❤️

OOOOH OKAY

So remember the vision he had in the bathroom?? THATS THE HOUSE HES LOOKING FOR. THE HOUSE HE WAS IN IN THE VISION. IT WASNT HIS FLAT.

Ok i think i get it? Hes having these visions and he remembers things and hes trying to recreate the memories and figure out what the visions are

Ok also i like the realtor guy. Hes working with him to figure out what the place hes been seeing is. Down to the old lady and the little boy.

Also we find out more details. The old lady cooks liver all the time to the point where our guy can smell it upstairs and puts her trash out whenever our guy leaves his apartment. Theres a guy who composes music and our guy can hear it upstairs.

Like hes professional and obviously a biy weirded out but hes not just like. Dismissing him out of hand

Also id youve seen The Kissing Gifs, this guy is the guy he kisses later on

The realtor guys colleagues find the house within like. Minutes and our guy is THRILLED

"I want you full-time, all the time." "Im not cheap." KISS ALREADY, DAMN

Oh shit it's those two guys from the phone booth

Oh ok so he wants to literally recreate the visions. He bought the complex he was seeing and he described the lady and the other dude so the realtor guy can move them in i guess?? And hes having construction workers make it EXACTLY as he saw it.

This man has Issues. Thats it thats the movie(?)

Oh my god he's having it recreated down to the fucking CATS on the roof. Jesus christ.

This part is hilarious

Ok so they tied the cats down to the roof bcs they were falling off the roof (horrifying). Our guy sees this and is like 'wtf no' so they have this amazing convo

Naz: These are the last cats we have

Tom: ...so?

Naz: So if they fall we'll be cat-less

Tom: Then we'll get more cats- why are we even having this conversation?

Like it's awful but funny as shit

Realtor guys name is Naz (we just found out)

(The cat handler quit btw)

Jfc he's like. Inspecting the people who are moving in with Intense Eye Contact

Oh my god hes like. Ordering this guy to do nothing but compose music that has ALREADY BEEN WRITTEN day in and day out and start over again and again

Holy fuck this is so Wild. There are people in line who literally have their faces covered (bcs i guess he doesn't know what they look like????)

He just told this lady that there's a broom closet but he doesn't want her to ever use it. But she needs to think about it. WHAT THE FUCK

"You will notice there are some rooms that have been left blank. Like the masks some of you are wearing. You're not less important, you're just less specific."

Hey. Hey Tom. Do you take constructive criticism? How about you use that small fortune and go to ✨️therapy✨️

Greg's a bit of a douche

Wow this is creepy as shit

He's going into the house and everyones in place recreating the vision but its just so... produced.

Hes micromanaging the SHIT out of this

HE WANTED TO MAKE THE LITTLE BOY APPEAR AGAIN. HE TOLD NAZ THAT THE BOY APPEARS WHEN EVERYTHING'S RIGHT. I WAS WONDERING ABOUT THE LITTLE BOY

Also the old lady fell when she was doing her thing and it knocked him out of seeing the boy

Christopher (the guy from the phone booth) seems chill.

Also Toms proposition is weird but not like. Actively malicious. He told Chris that he wanted him to stay at the phone booth. The longer he stays the more he gets paid. Also that the phone will ring and he gets paid if he answers it

We have 50 minutes left in this fucking movie

Oooohhhh hes sleeping with some random lady to try and recreate a memory i think

OH he's trying to recreate the memory with Catherine but without Catherine

Nooo those guys got Christopher :(

Naz is a real one

Oh god hes recreating Christophers death. HES PLAYING THE ROLE OF CHRISTOPHER HIMSELF

He had the guys use an ACTUAL TASER on him

Naz was like 'youre not using an actual taser' and Tom was like 'then go home' and i guess Naz decided to stay lmaooo

He threw up afterwards bcs being tased is Not Fun and was like 'again' and Naz (who is very sweet) was like 'i don't understand why it's necessary to hurt yourself'

Once again, NAZ IS A REAL ONE

Theyre still doing it again tho

Nvm he walked out of the phone booth and immediately collapsed lmao

Oof the lady he has playing Catherine is Over It

'I won't hurt you' he says as he has his hand around her neck

Men will do literally anything other than go to therapy

He scared the living shit out of her and now she's just reciting her lines on autopilot to appease him

To his credit, he feels bad about it (bare minimum)

Nvm about that actually

Sir you just traumatized some random lady bcs YOU can't deal

Oh fuck

Ok so the two guys got him

Apparently he stole the suitcase he had in the beginning of the movie before the accident and they wanna know where it is

Which is a problem bcs Tom can't really remember anything

Oh shit they're torturing him abt it

Oh wow that house is super fucked up

Literally everyones waiting in place and Tom and Naz are just. Upstairs.

They've been frozen for OVER AN HOUR

Tom's just. Watching tv like he doesn't have a dozen people frozen in place downstairs.

Wealth really does fuck you up huh

Ok bcs of Reasons theyre reenacting a bank robbery. Don't ask me why. I know why but i just don't feel like explaining it

Is Naz a realtor? I don't think he is actually. I just assumed. Sorry Naz.

At least he has a lot of stuff to put on his resume now? He could make a killing in theatre. That's basically what he's doing now is stage managment

Omg in this scene he looked like Dream for a second there

See, he wants it to feel real, but he's producing it every step of the way

THEY KISSED

Holy shit

Ok so. Basically he wants to do an actual bank robbery.

The hyperrealistic set isn't enough. If im hearing him correctly he wants to do an actual, honest to god bank robbery with real guns and everything at the actual bank where it happened

Without the actors' knowledge

Guess who works at the bank? Catherine.

This is so fucked up

What the fuck

Holy shit Tom shot him

What a psychopath

Oh my GOD

He just shot all the actors

THE KID IS REAL

Oh my god oh my god oh my god

WHAT THE FUCK

IM SHAKING WHAT THE FUCK

BRO YOU JUST KILLED 4 PEOPLE

NO FUCKING WAY

ITS STARTING OVER AGAIN

Its over oh my god

Final thoughts: Just... im speechless. What the fuck. I dont even know what to think. What a trip. It starts off super slow but damn. I might rewatch just to figure out what the Fuck but thats not high on the priority list. I might watch Like Minds next??

[nailgunstigmata]

how did you get over comp het and realize you are a lesbian? (i have no clue how comfortable you are talking about this sort of stuff so please feel free to just ignore this <3 sorry if it feels like prying)

no worries at all!! ill be honest and say that i still struggle with comphet/a feeling that im „faking it“, almost a kind of sexuality imposter syndrome if that makes sense, but for me what has always helped is to just try to think of the whole thing objectively, if that makes sense? one of the main things for me personally (and i feel like i can only rlly speak from my own experience here so im sorry if it isnt too helpful fhdjdb) is that im just not attracted to any men irl, especially not attainable ones. i can also just never see myself in a relationship with a man and being happy, like i can see it with a woman!! i guess it kind of depends from person to person but for me it was realizing that i can think a man is attractive/has attractive physical features but also not personally want to be with them romantically and that feelings like that are normal and something many lesbians have.

kind of an occams razor situation where its like hm i feel like i should be in a relationship with a man but it doesnt make me happy and i dont have any desire for it. the thought of marrying a man makes me upset in a way i cant explain. but i have crushes on women and the thought of marrying a woman makes me happy….ok well yeah that doesnt sound straight at all.

comphet is such a vicious cycle but at the end of the day the only one who can truly know your identity is you!! and sexuality is a confusing thing and something a lot of people struggle with. you can always switch your label if you feel more comfortable with something else, or you dont have to label yourself at all! but i also get the desire to find „your place“ if that makes sense.

sorry this is kinda rambly dhsjdb but honestly what helped most for me at the end of the day was realizing that comphet exists and doesn‘t invalidate your sexuality, and its also not something you have to be ashamed of!! its natural and fine to revel in exploring things in fiction/fantasy that you wouldnt want in real life and its equally natural and fine to have had relationships with men and for those relationships to maybe not even having been that bad! comphet is annoying but it exists and it doesnt invalidate you, and honestly hearing that from other lesbian, having them tell me that its okay and doesnt take anything away is probably what helped me most!

i havent reread this in some time but this really helped me out when trying to figure my identity out!! you probably already know it if youre questioning, but just in case fhdkdb

also sorry this took me so long to answer i just kept trying to think of something that would help and then procrastinated dhdjd this is the best i can come up with but i hope it maybe helps the tiniest bit? idk fhdjdb

anyways i wish u the best anon!! i hope you figure stuff out <3

[svankmajerbaby]

✨️🎀🎈💞💝🕯🎙🤲💌

!! thank u so much for the ask. i love talking about writing......

✨ What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

-hmm theres a point in which i have to tell myself not to worry about likes or comments bc what really matters is me getting the practise and exercising my writing muscles and having fun with it... But. i do wish i could get more ppl into my toy story fic. its got a whole bunch of wonderful comments and kudos and stuff, i just feel so proud of it and writing it came so easy and i poured so much of my love into it, i really really wish anyone who loves these characters would read it too.

🎀 give yourself a compliment about your own writing

-english is not my first language so grammar isnt often The Best, but i take a lot of care with using words and expressions as correctly as possible, and I try to always spell words right (i dont think ive ever confused loose and lose, for example, which ive seen confused a few times). some descriptions of spaces are particularly well done, at least to my own criteria, and the song choices are fun (or at least fun to write and picture in my head).

🎈 describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

- honestly, ive no idea. i think i get verbose, and i write long dialogue scenes. i overuse the — to lead into another thought, because thats kind of like how my mind works. i try to be "cinematic" in my writing and always start a scene with a description of a place, its lighting and its sounds, like im used to when writing scripts. and i got the sense that usually the characters often ramble and go on long discussions about stuff that maybe normal people wouldnt just start out discussing so strongly. but honestly id much rather someone else outside my own perspective told me what my writing is like, i would trust them more than my own opinion.

💞 what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

-the characters!! everything is important, and stuff like grammar often jumps out first for me... but i need to enjoy how the characters are written, and feel like theyre real people with genuine motivations and interactions. i dont mind too much if theyre not super alike to canon, as long as they feel true to the core of their personality and values.

💝 what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

-i was surprised to even get comments on my barbie frankenstein one. i loved writing it and it came through so easily and comfortably, but even though i had used that moderately popular meme of reimagining barbie as a gothic protagonist as inspiration i didnt really think it would be anything but something i liked to picture existing. i was so happy to see people enjoyed it too.

🕯️(there are two questions with this candle emoji symbol? i chose the first one, idk why theres two) was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

-the tiff fic :'^) ive always liked writing sorta dark stuff, ever since i was little, but this was on another level. sometimes i felt (and still do) feel a bit awkward bc i really do push myself to write stuff i feel a bit embarrassed or shocked by, but i do think that if i want to be a better writer it does me good to make an effort to depict stuff that makes me uncomfortable and seek to write it in a sense of finding a way to both make if effective and relatively tasteful (or at the very least in-character).

🎙️which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of?

- i have never heard about pod-fic before, but i guess i can imagine what it is (wonder if its like an audiobook, or if it has sound effects and the like??). i would love to listen to an audiobook of the barbie frankenstein fic mostly bc i would love so so much to hear the dramatic literary dialogue ive written in kelly sheridans barbie voice. also now that i think about it i have no idea what the creature would even sound like... that would be an interesting challenge.

🤲 what do YOU get out of writing?

-practise writing in english, a sense of accomplishment (when i get to finish something!!) and every once in a while some strong validation in the form of ppl liking what i write... all of it is super valuable to me, especially practise and the push and drive to finish stuff to upload, but the validation in particular just really hits that dopamine in my brain i guess

💌 share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

-its from the glen and glenda fic im halfway planning! i got a few dialogues written and some scenes sketched out, but its still a long way to go. im very excited about it tho! ive grown to really love the versions of the twins ive made in my head. hopefully theyre faithful to their screen depictions while also adding a bit more depth and character building ive wanted to take them through.

[sizhui]

hello angie :DD i am currently reading through your character study again! its very comprehensive so i hope to be able to get as much as I can out of it. also hehe ive noticed a pattern in what sorts of things you seem to enjoy writing about, from what ive read it seems wen kexing n ah xu (idk his name sorry) remind me somewhat of the mother n father from when she calls them down to dinner or perhaps wilfred (fogot) n his husband... but theres not so much erm downer here? anyways i like those things so im glad u can write about things so viscerally !! also i thoroughly enjoyed how u use settings, ghosts n hauntings to explore wen kexing's character. im not sure how much of these images are present in canon but from what i know of cn novels i wouldnt expect it to be too far from canon!

ill put the rest of my response under the cut !

it was very romantic i felt :) particularly the bits about like. letting go and becoming human, becoming properly tangible with ah xu. sort of accepting the incomprehensibility of their becoming if it makes sense? it was so very romantic to me.i particularly enjoyed the bit about gallows and ghosthood and houses? idk it was just so romantic it brought me to tears!! like it is about love!

i dont really know what the ghost or valley is but i enjoyed that u developed it overtime. also i enjoye dhow the story transitions, from wen kexing alone physically n w his thoughts to the ah xu entering his life, filling his memories n changing him. its good for the tone.

like i got the vibes that wen kexing is a ghostly gloomy man. he seems sorta cynical and forsaken but desiring deeply to be whole i think. the heaviness of his burden was conveyed well. from the visceral n shocking scene of eating his fathers corpse a complete inversion of natural order i guess and love . he feels very trapped, always struggling but not quite able to get there alone. i also found ig a struggle within him to just die lol or Not.

particularly i feel wen kexing's decision to cut down the forest in his heart, his perception of himself as a dying tree, among one of the ghosts (being haunted n himself haunting) rlly emphasise that he is stuck and this death looms ever forward

ALSO AAAAH PHYSICIALITY!!! i liked that how its used.. being able to be touched by others to confirm you are a living thing or believe you are but now

anuyways sorry this was long n rambly n nothing but really!! it felt like such a nice love story somehow!!

thumbs up i liked it !! :D r u watching anything next

HELLO DEAR LAB!!Thank you SO MUCH for such a long and thorough and beautiful analysis of my story, i let out a funny sound of joy like 10 times while reading it!!!!! Your perception of the story is pretty much exactly what I was trying to convey with it - i feel a little proud of both of us, and blessed to have a reader as wonderful as you!

In the novel there is a fraction of people called "ghosts" who live in that valley cast away from society, but it's never really explored what that status MEANS for them so this was my take on it - in a way it's canon compliant, but most of the ideas came from my crazy overthinking hehe, I'm really happy you enjoyed! I'm very happy you perceived this story as deeply romantic, because that was the goal - writing about painful things like suicidal ideation, haunting and eating your father's corpse (he does actually do that in the novel OUCH) and having it still be a love story... There is definitely a lot of struggle to Just Die in Wen Kexing. Like Ah Xu explicitly wants to die in the novel and everyone always talks about that, but i also perceived the same in Wen Kexing and felt that that was one of the reasons they were able to connect and wanted to write about it. I'm happy you were able to get such a good grip on his character from my writing alone! I also usually avoid writing about physicality so I'm glad it fit in well here and served the story well !

Please don't apologize for this being long because that made me very happy, and it's definitely not rambly and nothing, it's everything to me! Thank you, dear Lab, for reading my work with such care ♥️♥️♥️♥️

P. S. IT ALSO MADE ME HAPPY THAT U CONNECTED IT TO BSCTTD . EVERYTHING ALWAYS COMES BACK TO IT.

[wambsgansshoelaces]

HEY GIRL OMG I HAVENT CHECKED ON YOUR BLOG IN LIKE SOOO LONG I MISSED YOU

this is all so irrelevant but I finished school like a week ago so I'm like free forever (I'm doing externals next year so like this is my last period of freedom before becoming an academic slave to the education system)

Also hallway crush update. So like 2 weeks ago on a random Saturday I wake up and I get a notification on Instagram and its a message from him and so obviously I'm like dying and dead and decomposing and so I wait 17 minutes and I finally open it and it's this dumb fucking reel of this girl with a dog and he was like "look, it's you" (he uses punctuation over text which okayyy come here you cuteass nerd) now obviously I have no idea what the fuck that means, is he saying I look like a dog??? (Keep in mind this is the first time we've ever texted so huhhh) and so I'm like "bro what 💀" and he says that he meant the GIRL and not the dog. Which okay, yeah, that makes sense. But then again we literally do NOT talk. Like EVER. The most contact we've had before then was all the post-exam debriefs where my friends and his friends are talking about wether the answer to question 18 is 3.5 or 3.6 (we go to a "gifted" school so really we're all just a bunch of nerds) ANYWAYS NOT THE POINT. the point is that this was all so fucking random. Also the girl does NOT look like me. I asked some of my friends and even my mom and they all said that she does though so 💀 anyways I tell him that I don't really see it and he goes "look in the mirror. She could be your sister" and so at this point I am dumbfounded by this man's nonexistent texting skills and im like "well maybe she is ill have to check" and bro LEAVES ME ON READ 💀💀 which totally sucks but like it's fine I guess. Now I do have an issue here and that is that there's this girl in his class and I do think that he may be into her. My friends from his class say that they talk all the time and I see how he is around her, then again she DOES have a boyfriend (and a reputation of stringing every single breathing male along) but I'm worried that he likes her 😔😔 ANYWAYS I do hope that we're in the same class next year 💀💀

Fuck I've been rambling for so long I'm sorry this is literally a fucking newspaper 💀💀

AAANNYYYWAYS HAVE A GREAT NIGHT/DAY QUEEN AND EID MUBARAK BYEEEE

AAAAA I MISSED YOU OMGGGG

don’t even worry I love reading these leave whatever you want in my ask box I love it 🫶🏽

I read all of it and girl idk I’m just gonna say he likes u because we manifest here >:( I have no idea how relationships or anything work LMFAO but I do think ur both cutie patootie together bc like he’s trying even though he’s not chronically online and that the universe will make things right and u’ll get together and fireworks and everything JDJANFNFN but seriously I believe in u I hope ur summer is sosososo good and that u guys hang out or something !!!! go get ur mans bae ily stay safe smooch

[intergalactic-chameleon]

rambling train of thought

oddly vulnerable for me 2 admit but i admire transmasc ppl a lot and think they r cool and wanna be their friend. transfemmes too. just trans ppl in general i fucking guess lmfao. but transmascs in particular bc i really admire the particular way that they practice / express masculinity

on a related note, this is why i know im somewhere on the trans spectrum bc i admire trans ppl too much to not be one myself, yknow. still frustrating tho bc i feel like everyone sees me as a cis girl and i just wanna be like Hey Um ACTUALLY I Have A Rich Inner Life… I’ll Have You Know… just bc im a girl doesnt mean that’s all i am, i dont relate to a lot things typically prescribed to women, im super duper queer, etc etc

also lots weird back and forth in my head between identifying as a woman purposefully but also on a variation of technicalities. and also wanting to look like a boy, but a very Specific vision of one that i have in my head, and also lacking the want or need to “pass.” very confusing to say the least.

i got a binder recently and i remember thinking to myself “am i getting anything out of this.” part of that definitely has to do with the style of binder i got, which doesnt do that much when u got big tits like i do (i need to get a tank binder sometime). but ive been trying to understand how i feel about my chest, and my body at large. basically, i dont hate my body. i dont. i dont even rly experience gender dysphoria atp. often, i even love my body. it’s attractive. but my body makes me feel frustrated because i feel like i only have so much control over what it looks like. esp bc i dont rly want breast reduction/removal or hormones. i see an attractive man/masc and experience a mixture of reactions. attraction. lust. jealousy. a tinge of sadness. agitation.

again, i really dont hate my body. i just wish i could do more with its silhouette and shape it to my liking with ease. im rly short (4’10”), have big boobs, small frame, curvy figure, long hair… all these things i enjoy or at least am okay with, but put em all together and that’s all anyone can ever see: a woman. and being a woman is cool, and i identify with it. but no matter what it never feels like enough for me. i break out of that box as much as i can because i cant stand being so limited. like if i can so easily be a woman, why cant i so easily be a man (so to speak)? i most aspire to be a fag, tbqh. in my own way that is.

idk if any of this made sense lol

[arsenicflame]

@napneeders thank u and i am so sorry this is about the nerdiest and nichest thing i will ever write, and is interesting information to exactly one (1) person (me)

(as a reblog because a bitch needed a word count and also. all information to be taken with a grain of salt this is just what i remember from researching it like 8 months ago)

essentially, staying a neckline is a technique used (mostly in 'couture' sewing) to stop necklines gaping away from the skin! (i think its a really fun name because. you are making it stay) usually you would use this in low cut garments, deep v's, anything that has a 'tricky' neckline- if youve ever worn a dress and had it fall away from you as you lean down, this technique prevents that!

theres two ways to do it, as far as im aware- theres the 'proper' way- which if im remembering correctly is a pretty old technique (i think its in one of my victorian sewing texts), or a more modern way, thats way quicker but isnt as fancy or whatever (also probably wouldnt last as long)

the proper way to do it is pretty simple, if time consuming- you take a strip of (straight grain fabric? i think? maybe even grosgrain ribbon) and cut it a little shorter than your neckline, then pin it at the start and end, easing in the neckline to be the size of the strip (i think you would do this by fractioning it all up, going halves again and again until its well divided) youd then go in and hand sew that all down, catching only your inner layers- you dont want so much easing in it that the outer layer puckers at all, just so that the inside is a tiny bit smaller to encourage it to curve with your body.

the more modern way uses elastic- you really do the same thing, cut it a little shorter than your neckline + hold the elastic under just a touch of tension as you sew it to the inside of the neckline, and it'll ever so slightly ease the outer fabric in as it unstretches. its far quicker (and easier to do by machine id guess) but you have less control and obviously, elastic is prone to perishing over time. to me the elastic way makes more sense though because itll have more flex and better hug to your body as you move soooo????

You could! as far as i understand, do this to any garment, not just one youre making!! because its an. additional technique, rather than a fundamental one (i am just making up these terms), itd easy to.. add... it to things after the fact! you can also use it to cover raw seams if you want id imagine

i actually ended up not needing to do this in the garment i was making because my pattern drafting was that good but its definitely up there on my list of techniques to try!! (im actaully not sure why i didnt need to on the dress, it was low at the front AND the back which is just a fucking nightmare honestly- im guessing its because i used a super stiff/structured lining? or my bias binding on the neckline essentially did the same thing???? idk)

(i am going to also take this opportunity to show off that dress because im shameless- best viewed at low res so take this photo i took of the cat from halfway across the room, oh the dress is there too. theres a lot im proud of on this one, but even more want to redo, but thats for another year day)

if you want actual information on this technique and not just half remembered ramblings from a person that never actually did it, i believe the best instructions i read were in 'Couture Sewing Techniques', and that it might be in 'Authentic Victorian Dressmaking Techniques' also, but im not sure on that one

girl help [i am experiencing an overwhelming urge to talk about my Interest, but have nothing to talk about]