#i also just got really pissed because a anti endo followed me??

[francicide]

might go slow on posting , my mental state is declining a little again . Bit of a rant in tags ?? idk

[justanothersyscourse]

I think this blog is blocked by fewer people that have heard the rumors and lies going around. I hope you'll read this. There are three sides to every story-- yours, theirs, and the truth.

I deserve to get my side out there so people can make informed decisions about who to follow or block, or whatever it is you need to do. It's okay not to support me, but do it for the right reasons.

I also run sysmedsaresexist, and I'm currently being accused of harassing a minor and sending random ass asks left, right and center.

Listen, if you got an ask where the person didn't say, "this is SAS," it's not from me. I HATE asks. On the rare occasion that I send them, I always tell people who I am. I am well aware that I'm a controversial figure. I want people to know who they're interacting with when I talk to them. I am old. It's important that I'm honest with the people I interact with. A lot of people really stepped up to support me, but I would like people to stop. Unfortunately, it's doing more harm than good.

With every one of these messages people send in support of me, the rumors get worse.

I want to defend myself, but I don't know how.

Send a vent to a vent blog that just actively lied about me? They won't post it. (They didn't, I just checked)

So I'll post it myself. You can make your own decision. All posts I've made on the topic are linked here (it's 5, compared to the DOZENS AEV has posted)

This will be my last post on the topic, and I hope that the people spreading these rumors will leave me alone. You've done more damage and harm to me than you know, and without any remorse or apology.

Ask sent to @anti-endo-haven :

I'm SAS and I'm so hurt.

I have not sent ANY anons to AEV, at all, at any point. I have not ASKED anyone to help me in this,

I made 5 posts. They have made about 50 at this point, all cruel.

The first was to AEV on their first post, which was NOT as rude as people say. I said, look webmd and mayo clinic isn't going to hold up to some of the articles that endos are throwing at us. Try some of these. I said, look, you're going to get really tired of hearing the same endo arguments. Here's some points you can throw back at them.

NOT TO MENTION THE MISINFORMATION IN THE POST. Dissociation is only trauma based? Incorrect. Maybe you should reconsider whether you're ready to be in these conversations.

That response was hidden.

The second post, I was correcting an endo that DID wasn't a trauma disorder. I tagged AEV and said, "see, you can be nice about corrections, and these are the kind of sources you should use."

I was blocked.

THIS IS WHEN I CHANGED LABELS. I was so disappointed in the community that I said fuck that, that's not what I want to be, I don't support this behavior. That's another person that AEV turned pro endo. Good job.

Then I saw the anon saying I was an endo. I used my other blog to POLITELY say, "This isn't true, please stop posting about me like this." This post is still on JAS, I didn't delete it like people are claiming

The fourth post was me making my own public post saying, "this child is throwing a tantrum over corrections. Now l'm pissed and I have to make my own public post so people don't believe those lies." This was the first rude post. I called AEV a blemish, and here's why.

I just made a MASSIVE post about dissociation that is actively being spread within the endo community now. All because I changed my label. I don't care if you all want to block me, but don't pretend that you're all doing anything to help by making bad resources for an audience that already believes the same stuff (all these new antis). Now all the new ones are spreading the same bad sources that don't hold up, and we all (yes, you, me, them, the next CDD system in line) look bad for it.

AEV couldn't provide a single source that said DID WAS trauma based, only "usually" trauma based. AEV actually made antis TURN PRO ENDO, because they used so many sources that said "usually". I offered him sources that said it WAS trauma based.

I'm not kidding, you can find the people that changed sides on sophieinwonderland's blog. This is what happened. I don't need to be polite as pie to people inadvertently harming the CDD community, but I certainly wasn't rude about it

My final post, the fifth post, on the subject was the sad one. "My main was leaked." There are people that stalk my blogs. They send me threats and long asks about the things they'd do to me if they found me. When sophie first came to tumblr, I'd get asks about what people wanted ghost to do to me. In the past, every time a new doxxer comes out of their gross hole, I start getting doxxing threats. l've had people get close to my area.

My main being released means those people are one step closer to actually finding me. It means I'm now getting these kinds of messages in my only safe space.

And the anon who sent my main admitted it was done maliciously. We had a falling out like two years ago, because their asks were getting creepy. When I APOLOGIZED TO THEM for ever hurting them because of my own avoidance issues, and told them that on this post, their response was, "well I enjoyed sending them so fuck you." If I ever find that post deleted, I've got a screenshot. You were NOT a minor at the time, you're an adult.

... Nice, really mature. You're definitely safe for minors.

Hey, also, minors, if an adult you just met online calls you "my kiddo", don't respond with an ovo face. Run.

Adults, if you call a minor your kiddo and they're like, owo really, I'm your kiddo? Fucking run.

Anyways.

I haven't said anything since. What can say. My main is out and I'm getting threats on it. Currently. Not "in the future," like the person said. It's happening NOW.

What do all you people want from me? I AM trying to leave you all alone. Stop saying such terrible things about me, godDAMN. I am not harassing minors. I don't want to harass anyone.

WHAT DID I ACTUALLY DO WRONG? I don't understand.

You're not the good guys you think you all are.

Not anymore.

I don't know that you ever were.

[sophieinwonderland]

I think most people who don't like your satire blog don't have enough literacy to comprehend satire, which is not surprising, given we are on the piss on the poor website.

Also, forgive me if I'm wrong everyone, but I don't think it is ableist for you to have a satire account pretending to be an anti-endo either. I don't see people complaining about analog horror or media saying that they trigger unreality, and wouldn't those type of media trigger more unreality than your account making fun of how stupidly people debate? But again, I might be very wrong.

How many genres and types of art would just go away if such simple things stopped us from doing things? I'm saying that as a system who suffered a lot with paranoia and very easily believed in conspiracy theories and stories less than true in the past, and who now knows how to avoid these kinds of stuff to avoid spiraling.

But I do think they complain about you more because you are a controversal figure. Sure, just because I follow you doesn't mean I agree with everything you say or think, but just because of that doesn't mean that everything you do is evil. Can't people see people normally? - Nightmare Sans

I also feel like there's a sort of dangerous sanitization of the internet going on here.

The thing about recognizing satire and sarcasm is that it's a skill. Yes, like all skills, it can be impaired by disabilities. But I also find myself thinking that if you don't expose people to situations where they have to engage with critical thinking, you end up with a world where NOBODY has these types of skills.

It used to be common practice to not believe what you read on the internet. This was something drilled into people's heads from childhood. But I feel like this is slowly being lost.

My host grew up with a mother who was deep into conspiracy theories. He believed a lot of them as a child too. Then when he got older, he realized how many of these were wrong and laden with misinformation, and learned to be more critical of information in the future.

Without those experiences, I don't think we would be who we are today. I don't think we would have the skills to assess as well whether a sources is reliable or trustworthy.

Similarly, if a young person grows up in an environment where every instance of sarcasm is accompanied by an "/s", it's probably going to make it even more difficult to recognize sarcasm in the wild.

And it's also probably going to make it more difficult to recognize trolling as well. See the number of people who seemed to think there was even a possibility that system-facts took their life. (Before their ghost started haunting people's inboxes.)

I guess, more than anything, I just really want to encourage people to be skeptical of what sources they trust, and to pay attention to red flags that may indicate when someone is being less than sincere.