#hurt Gale Cleven

[heretoobsessstuff]

Hellooo sooo 👀 the fic i posted a snippet for a few days ago is finally here haha. Behold the sappiest corniest hurt/comfort fic you’ve ever read. It’s also posted on ao3 here if you prefer to read it there!

Title: What else can I be? All apologies

Summary: Gale’s repressed guilt of leaving John behind manifests as a nightmare. John comforts him

“Go on, I’m right behind you,” John said quietly. Gale nodded once and turned to walk towards the wall, eyes fixed ahead. John was right behind him. Gale’s heart was pounding, and his hands shook as he held them tightly in fists by his side. The distance between him and the wall seemed to drag on forever. Why wasn’t he reaching the wall?

Panic set in and took over his whole body. His chest, throat, and legs felt numb. Something bad was about to happen; he could feel it in his gut. His body knew it. Something was about to happen.

“Don’t shoot—don’t shoot!” John yelled. His voice shook Gale’s entire body. Gale turned around and saw John wrestling with the German guard, holding his gun on both sides, pushing him back with impressive strength.

“Go, Buck, get out of there!” John yelled again, his voice rough from exertion. Buck felt like his body was no longer in his control. He took one last look at John and jumped over the wall, leaving him behind.

The moment he was over the wall, he heard it—the gunshot. Loud and sharp. His ears rang with the sound. He slid down the wall, his body hitting the ground with a thud. He held his breath, feeling like hours had passed before he finally mustered the courage to get up on his knees. His hands gripped the edge of the wall for support as he pulled himself up to look back, and once he did, he couldn’t look away.

There, on the wet, muddy ground, lay John. Lifeless.

Gale didn’t know how it happened, but before he knew it, he was hovering over John. It felt like he was watching himself from a distance as he dropped to his knees and grabbed John’s shoulders, running his hands frantically over his arms and chest, trying to find where he had been hit. Trying to fix this somehow.

“John, John, can you hear me? Open your eyes for me, please!” he begged, desperate when he finally saw it—a hole the size of a penny right in John’s chest, in his heart. Blood oozed steadily. He took off his scarf and pressed it against the wound, pushing hard. John’s eyes flew open at the pressure with a loud yelp. The scarf was immediately soaked.

“It’s alright, John. It’s alright, just—just hold on for me. Just hold on,” Gale begged again, his voice shaking and wobbling with each word. He looked up from John and looked around frantically. He couldn’t see anyone. No German guard, no American prisoner. Bile rose in his throat as he yelled, “Crank? Brady? Somebody help me, please!”

Tears leaked from his eyes, falling onto John’s face. John looked at him dazedly, his breath coming out in little whimpers. His hand came up to bat at Gale’s weakly.

“Hurts,” he grunted.

Gale gripped the scarf tighter. There was blood everywhere—John’s blood, painting Gale’s hands, arms, and clothes red, smelling sharp and coppery.

“I know, I know. I just need to—just need to press. It’s going to be alright,” Gale said, his voice hitching on a sob. His hands shook so hard he couldn’t grip the scarf properly anymore. He looked around frantically again, hoping, praying for someone—anyone—to come, to fix this. He couldn’t lose John like this.

But there was no one coming. Deep down, Gale knew it. There was no sign of Crank or Murph or Brady or Demarco. They were all gone, leaving him alone to watch John die.

“You left me behind,” John gasped out, his voice barely audible. Gale felt his heart drop to his stomach, cold settling deep in his bones. He could say nothing as he watched John grip the hand that was holding the scarf against his chest. His blue eyes looked dark with pain and betrayal. Gale remained silent, his tongue feeling heavy and numb in his mouth.

“You left me to die,” John croaked, breathing harshly as his hand gave Gale’s one last squeeze before it fell limp, his head falling back onto the dirt. Gale watched in horror as John’s last breath left his lungs in a choked exhale. He was gone.

John was gone. Lost somewhere Gale could never reach. He was gone and he hated Gale for it. Gale had betrayed him. Had let him get shot. Had left him alone to die. His grip on the wound wasn’t strong enough. He hadn’t held onto John tightly enough and now he was dead. Look at what you’ve done. His brain screamed at him. You were a coward. You have lost him forever. The light in his eyes is gone forever and he died with nothing but hatred for you. Nothing you could ever do will bring him back.

****

Gale woke up with a gasp. The sheets had woven around him like a cocoon. He gripped them tightly and thrashed around to fling them off of himself. He reached to his right blindly. Expecting to find a warm body fast asleep. To find John there. It was empty. Sheets long abandoned and cold.

The feeling of all consuming grief was immediate. It gripped him by the throat and closed his airway. Gale felt outside of himself. The room was floating around him and the edges of his vision threatened to turn black the more he gasped for air. His brain was struggling to pinpoint where exactly he was. A hotel room or behind the wall?

He couldn't remember anything. He couldn’t remember where he was anymore. His heart was too fast, pounding against his ribcage. He clawed at his chest, willing to control his breathing. The cold devastation of being left alone, abandoned by their men was wrapped around his lungs like a vice. You left John behind and he died in your arms.

He couldn’t get enough air into his lungs. He grasped his shirt as he breathed in short strangled exhales. His heart was too fast, almost like it was jumping out of his chest. Maybe he was the one who was shot in the chest. Maybe he was dying. The thought was chilling. He was dying. Drowning in John’s blood. This was it. That’s how he would die. Cold and alone and hated by the only person he had ever loved-

“Gale? Can you hear me?”

The strong voice cut through the haze. A hand reached towards him and pulled him out of the abyss he was drowning in. Distantly he could feel something or someone grip his shoulders. Shaking him. He could hear himself gasping for air but his body refused to cooperate.

“Gale? I need you to breathe darling. Can you do that for me?”

He was trying. He wanted to tell the voice that. But it was difficult and his lungs felt like they were on fire. The voice was familiar and warm and soothing. It sounded like John.

You idiot! His brain screamed. John is dead. Maybe I’m dying too. He thought again. That’s why I can hear him.

“You’re not dying. You’re alright. We’re home. We’re safe. Just breathe.” John’s voice said. Gale felt a hand on the back of his neck. Felt it running over the little hairs at the base of his neck that were damp with sweat. He choked on an inhale. The other hand grabbed Gale’s where it was clutching his chest. Thumb running over his hand in slow strokes. The touch was grounding. Home safe he repeated to himself. He felt air enter his lungs as he struggled to slow his breathing.

“That’s it. Good job, darling. Just breathe”

Somehow against all odds, John was here. Calling him “darling”, holding him and comforting him even after Gale left him behind. Even after he went to hide behind the wall like a coward and left John to wrestle with the armed kraut. John was the one who was itching to escape, instead Gale stole his opportunity to run ahead of him, leaving him there. Gale was overcome with a guilt so strong and sudden he felt bile raising in his throat. His face twisting as he was hit with a strong wave of nausea.

“You gonna be sick?”

John asked, reading Gale’s expressions like an open book. He nodded miserably as John moved him around so his legs hung over the bed, hand still gripping Gale’s.

“Okay. It's alright. You’re okay. Just hold on to me”

Gale could barely make out the words being said to him over the ringing of his ears. He tried to swallow down the nausea as he felt hands under his knees and around his back. Lifting him off the bed with ease. Carrying him towards the bathroom.

“There. It’s alright. I got you.”

Gale’s knees buckled immediately as he was gently lowered to the ground. John pressed against his back firmly to steady him as Gale reached out to grasp the toilet bowl. He fell forward as he heaved. Tears were pricked his eyes as he coughed harshly and heaved again.

“You’re alright. Just need to breathe. Slowly. Just breathe. In and out. You’re alright.”

You’re alright John’s voice kept telling him. It was comforting. Gale let out a shuddering breath as he felt a hand rubbing his back soothingly. In and out. Gale tried to focus on the voice. On the gentle touch on his face and hair. He felt a weight pressed against his spine, holding him in place. In and out. More air filled his lungs. He reached out blindly towards the voice and felt his hand being grabbed in a warm grip.

That’s when he felt it. His hand pressed against warm skin. He could feel it against his palm. Thump thump. Strong, quick, John’s heart beat against him.

He let out a small gasp, hand shaking where it rested against John's chest, feeling his heartbeat. He kept his eyes closed, willing himself to breathe. It felt like hours had passed when his nausea finally receded and he started to calm down.His brain worked slowly through the haze, becoming aware of his surroundings little by little. He moved slowly to let himself sit on the floor, back resting against the toilet seat with John’s grip steadying him. Pieces of the past few days started to come back to him in slow bursts of memory. He remembered now. He had gone to sleep that night and John had slept next to him. He had been okay. Alive. Just hours ago. He was here, talking to him now.

“John?”

He whispered, wanting to make sure he was there. That he was real.

“I’m right here, Gale. Can you look at me?”

Gale shook his head petulantly. He didn’t want to look at John and see the disappointment, the hurt, the betrayal in his eyes again. He felt John huff out a nervous breath as he rubbed up and down Gale’s arm.

“Alright darling. Take your time okay? I’m right here when you’re ready”

John tried to sound reassuring but Gale knew him better than that. John sounded scared. Worried. Gale didn’t want John to feel scared ever again. He opened his eyes slowly, squinting against the harsh bathroom light as the room swam into view. He blinked bearily as his gaze fell onto the man in front of him. John was crouching on the floor, eyes looking sad and glassy with unshed tears. His curls looked wild and messy, sticking up on the top of his head as if he had been tugging on them. He was sporting a deep frown as he looked on with a concern Gale didn’t think he deserved. He still managed to school his features into a small smile as he locked eyes with Gale.

“There you are. You back with me?”

John asked softly. Pushing Gale messy hair out of his face and forehead. Gale couldn’t look away from him as he lifted Gale’s hand from his chest to press a chaste kiss against his knuckles.

Gale nodded. Biting his lip when he felt the beginning of a lump already forming in his throat.

“Okay. You’re okay. Let's just sit for a minute.”

John said, reaching behind Gale to grab a tissue and wipe Gale’s mouth gently. Before Gale knew it a cold glass of water was being pressed against his lips and he took a sip instinctively. The cool water felt nice against his dry mouth so he took another sip. His hands shook too much as he attempted to take the glass from John but he just batted his hand away. Murmuring a slow “I got it” as he held the glass against his lips.

You don’t deserve this Gale’s brain supplied harshly. The lump in his throat threatened to choke him as he reached out to press his hands against John’s chest again. He needed to feel him. Needed to feel the steady rise and fall of his breaths and the thumping of his heart again. Needed him alive and breathing.

“John”

Gale felt like John’s name was the only thing he could say right now. His voice sounded rough and faraway to his own ears. John gave him a worried look as he covered his hand with his own.

“I’m right here”

He assured him. Gale just looked on. Palm still firmly pressed against John’s chest. He almost died and I let him. He felt like he was going to lose it any second.

“Gale?”

He had been Gale tonight. Not Buck. Not John’s Buck. He couldn’t remember the last time John had called him Buck. The realisation hit him like a freight train. Maybe John did hate him. Maybe he wanted his name back.

“I’m sorry”

Gale choked out. His voice sounded rough and hoarse. His eyes finally spilling over as he lost the last remainder of self control he was desperately trying to keep. Tears were streaming down his face and into his cheeks and neck before he could do anything to stop it. He knew he had opened the gates now and once he started he couldn’t stop. John’s gaze softened in sadness, his hands coming up to wipe Gale’s tears away gently. Gale was talking before he could say anything.

“I let the kraut shoot you. Right here. Right in the chest. I ran and hid behind the wall like a fucking coward”

It was as if a dam had broken inside of Gale. It was like months of repressed guilt and fear that John secretly hated him finally caught up to him. A loud sob erupted from deep within his chest, more following immediately as his face crumpled. Maybe later he would feel embarrassed about all of it. Waking up from a nightmare and asking John to carry him to the bathroom just to dry heave and end up weeping like a child on the bathroom floor. But right then he couldn’t find it in him to feel anything other than desperation. Desperate for John to forgive him.

“I was all alone and I watched you bleed to death and I didn’t do a fucking thing. You hated me for it ”

He felt pathetic. You were the one who left him there, the snarky voice in his head said. Now he’s the one who has to comfort you for it.

“Hey, listen to me, Gale. None of that is real. None of that happened. You remember that. I’m here and I’m alright. It was all a bad dream”

John gripped Gale’s shaking shoulders, thumbs rubbing on his skin in small soothing patterns but the words couldn’t make it through the thick fog in his brain. He grabbed John’s face in his hands. Shaking terribly as he cried.

“I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry John.”

He needed to tell John. Needed him to hear it. To see how sorry he was. John’s mouth was turned downward with sadness. He opened his mouth but Gale was speaking before he could say anything.

“I still left you behind. That part was fucking real.I will never forgive myself for it”

Gale could see the moment understanding washed across John’s face. They had been over this before. Gale had woken up from this same nightmare so many times and had told John he was sorry every single time. John had always comforted him. Told him there was nothing to be sorry for. Assured him that they were both here and they had made it. It had always numbed Gale’s pain temporarily. But Gale knew, it was like putting bandaid on a puncture wound. The relief never stayed. It always ate him alive. Lived in the dark corners of his mind constantly, waiting for the right time to strike but this time was different. Gale felt inconsolable. He felt like he needed to beg for John’s forgiveness. John held Gale’s hands on his face tightly. Tears clinging to the corners of his own eyes.

“Gale, listen to me. You didn’t leave me behind. It was my choice to stay behind and I would do that a hundred times over. I swear to God Gale there’s nothing you have ever done in your life that you need to apologise to me for.”

Gale squeezed his eyes shut but it did little to stop the tears. He pulled his hands out of John’s grip to press the heels to his eyes. Guilt and panic was making it hard for him to breathe. To think. He needed to do something. Needed to say something before he lost his mind.

“No, no I need to- I need”

Language was escaping him and Gale couldn’t stop crying. His breathing was coming out ragged and forced. He felt like the abyss was back to swallow him whole. John took hold of his wrists. Pulling them away from his eyes and holding him firmly.

“What do you need?”

John asked. Sounding desperate. Gale bit his lip hard enough to draw blood. Tasting the saltiness of his own tears.

“I need you to forgive me. Tell me you forgive me. Please”

“Gale-“

“I can’t live with this anymore, John. It’s killing me.”

It felt like a relief to say it. To admit it to John that this was eating him alive. For a second John looked like he wanted to argue and keep telling him there was nothing to forgive like he had all those times ago. He opened his mouth to say something but stopped. Gale felt more and more desperate by the second. He was looking at Gale as if he could see right through him. As if he could flip through his brain and read his thoughts like a book. Gale had never loved him more for it.

“Please. I need you to-.”

John let out a shaky breath at the plea. Leaning forward to grip Gale’s shoulders tightly and pulling him close. Forcing him to listen.

“Okay Gale. Fuck I forgive you okay? Look at me.”

Gale did.

“Do you hear me? I forgive you. I forgive you”

Gale saw a lone tear travel down John’s cheek and fall into his hands. He closed his eyes against the sheer sense of relief at hearing those words. John forgave him. He felt the pressure and the grief and the feeling of impending doom weighing his shoulders down suddenly gone and lifted. He felt himself go limp as he fell forward with exhaustion. John didn’t waste time pulling him into his arms and wrapping around his body tightly.

“Thank you” Gale murmured into his skin. Over and over again. His body felt shaky and spent. He buried his face in John’s neck. It smelled like John. It smelled like home. John rubbed up and down his back and his arms. He kissed his jaw and his hair and forehead and neck and everywhere he could reach.

Gale wanted to continue. He wanted to tell John he’ll never get over that wall. That he’ll never feel not guilty about it. But he didn’t find it in himself to speak. John said he forgave him and Gale believed him. Always had and always would. He rested his cheek against John’s shoulder. Feeling himself calming slowly the longer John held him. He sighed out a deep exhale and let John hold up his weight. His body feeling drained but coming back to himself. John was still holding him tightly. Almost like Gale would fall apart if he let him go. Gale’s hazy brain registered that he had probably really scared John pulling a stunt like that. It had been a while since he had a nightmare that bad. He needed to say something. Let John know he was okay now.

“I’m okay”

He croaked. He sounded unconvincing even to himself. He felt John nod against his head and started rocking them both from side to side. The motion was surprisingly soothing. Gale closed his eyes.

“Gonna take you back to bed. Is that okay?”

John asked. Barely waiting for a response. Gale felt too shaky to even attempt to stand on his own. Not trusting his legs to carry him. He sighed out a quiet “okay” and he was lifted off of the floor swiftly, hands under his arms like he weighed nothing. John wrapped a comforting arm around his shoulders, walking him to bed. He felt weak, emotionally and physically drained but filled with a profound sense of relief.

“You should sleep, you’re exhausted ” John said softly, helping Gale settle back onto the bed. He pulled the covers up around him and sat down beside him. Gale felt shivers running through his body as he reached out a trembling hand to grasp John’s wrist. He could feel his fingers shaking against the warm skin.

“You okay? What do you need?”

John asked. Reaching out to run his fingers through his hair. Gale managed a small smile

“Just you”

John’s lips turned upwards into a fond smile Gale always loved. He immediately felt relieved to see it.

“You have me” John replied, wasting no time to get into the bed himself and pull Gale to his chest. One hand cradling his head and another wrapped around his back. He reached to wrap his arms around John’s waist. Fingers snaking up under his shirt to rub against his skin. John felt tense. Gale wanted the tension gone and the worried frown to disappear from his face forever. He leaned up to leave a soft kiss on his throat and felt John let out a quiet breath, face buried into his hair as he breathed in.

“God, you scared me. Took me a while to get you out of it this time ”

Gale wanted to apologise but was speaking again before he could say anything.

“You’re shaking. Are you cold?”

He didn’t wait for a reply before he reached out to grab the blanket Gale had kicked off the bed and draped it over both of them. Gale sighed in content as the warmth of it embraced him.

“‘M good now”

Gale said. His face fit perfectly under the column of John’s throat. The sheets felt damp from Gale’s sweat and tears. He swallowed thickly. He wants to tell John he’s sorry again. I’m Sorry for being so broken. For needing your comfort constantly, even though what you went through was worse than me. I’m sorry you had to wake up to me screaming and throwing up so many times this week. I’m sorry you got shot down thinking I was dead. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you were captured. I’m sorry-

”I'm sorry I worried you” he said instead.

He felt John huff in annoyance.

“Stop saying sorry”

Gale huffed a small laugh. Feeling lighter than he had all night. He felt John smile into his hair and then, as if he could read Gale’s mind, he said

“I love you, you know that right? Love you more than anything. You’re what kept me alive. Through everything. You were the only thing I wanted to make it back home for.”

Gale felt his eyes burning with tears again so he closed them and just held John tighter. He didn’t need to say anything. He knew John understood him.

“We’re alright. We’re safe. Everything’s okay, Buck. I’m here. Try to get some sleep now, darling”

Gale hummed. John had called him Buck. He sighed in relief, letting sleep take him as he dozed to the sound of John’s heart beating. Alive.

[euph0riacc]

JOHN EGAN/ GALE CLEVEN

hurt/comfort: ongoing fic

“You’re scaring the men.” Buck says to him one night, when his face is pressed against the back of his neck, far too close for it to be casual.

“I’m scaring myself,” John admits, into the cool night air. It’s easier when it’s like this. When he can pretend that he’s talking to himself instead of the man who’s safety he’s built his life around. But even that is gone, was shattered when his foot made contact with brittle ribs. Just another way that this war has changed him.

John used to be a man who wanted to protect, above all else. Now he just wants to hurt.

**

OR: what if John really did lose his mind, even if only for a moment. Would it change anything?

The long awaited Suicide Stalag Fic! I’ve got most of the fic written out now so it should be updating every few days! Let me know what y’all think. It’s intense.

[avonne-writes]

I noticed bucky has a scar above his lip that you can only see when he decides to shave his mustache down, I feel like that would be gales favorite spot to kiss him. or any of his scars from the war really, as if that alone could heal all the wounds that they both carry inside from it all 🥺

(Someone please send me a photo where I can see it 🥺)

Yes, you’re right, they both like to kiss each other's scars to comfort the other. It’s always a gesture that means "I love you. I'm here. I want to help you heal. I will hold you if you need." ❤️

[lazicalm]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Masters of the Air (TV 2024) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Harry Crosby (1919-2010), John Clarence "Bucky" Egan, Gale "Buck" Cleven, Howard "Hambone" Hamilton Additional Tags: writing of pain and agony, baby croz back at it again, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Kinda, Not Canon Compliant, Song: Ravens (Mount Eerie), me vs dialouge Summary:

Nobody was coming to save him- no holy being of light, or the sorrowful brown eyes he saw in the crowd watching him as he was led- like a lamb led to the slaughterhouse, walking into the butcher's knife with its head bowed expectantly.

[majorbuckegan]

prettier than a peach (john "bucky" egan x reader)

In which you're his favorite nurse, and John Egan tries his hardest to win your heart.

Words: 1.8K

Warnings: Bucky Egan is a warning all on his own. Fluffy, fluffy fluff.

Disclosure: Please do not copy my work on any other sites. I will be posting this here & on ao3 shortly. This fic is based on the characters brought to life in the Apple TV series Masters of the Air, not the real people the characters were based on.

Note: Peach!Reader is going to make many appearances, I'm going to make this a series. Without further adieu, enjoy.

It all started on a Saturday morning. It was early—really early. You hadn't really expected to have anyone walking around near the infirmary, but at half past 0300, you heard the sounds of heavy footfalls, with slurred speech and another low voice arguing.

 You get up to look out the window, and not a second goes by before the door swings open. You recognize the two men instantly: Major Gale "Buck" Cleven is half dragging Major John "Bucky" Egan into the infirmary. 

"Morning, ma'am." Major Cleven's blue eyes zero in on you immediately, and he offers you a kind (and apologetic) smile. "My buddy here had a bit too much to drink and got himself into a scuffle with some guys at the bar." 

Your gaze flickers to Major Egan, studying him with a calculating gaze. He's going to have a black eye, you notice, and he's holding onto the left side of his ribs. It's not the first time you've heard of the Major getting into a fight, but it's the first time it's happened on your shift. 

"Alright, Major." You're addressing Egan now, coming to his side to support his left side. "Let's get you settled in bed so I can take a look at those ribs." 

You are wholly unprepared for the absolute human hurricane that is Major John Egan.

"Tryin' to get me in bed already, doll?" His words are slurred from too much alcohol, but his voice is deep and husky, and you hate the way it makes you shiver. "I don't even know your name."

Major Cleven sucks in a breath and rolls his eyes. "John Clarence Egan." That accent drawls his friend's name, and his tone is very much annoyed. "You're in the presence of a lady—a nurse—for crying out loud. Behave."

"Oh, c'mon, she walked right into that one." He insists, "She thought it was funny. You thought it was funny, right, doll?"

Stormy blue eyes are suddenly fixed on your face. It's almost like time stops for you; of course you've seen him around before, but the moment you really look into his eyes, it's like you can see your whole life ahead of you. He's quiet now, just watching you, and he finds himself absolutely anamored with the delicate blush working its way onto your face.

"It was a little funny." You admit it, but you don't meet his eyes again. You're too afraid of what you'll see on his face, because while you're falling hard and fast at first sight, he's only flirting with a woman. That's all it is to him, you're sure of it.

His chest is warm when you open his jacket and roll up his shirt. You have to ignore how beautifully masculine he is on order to focus on your job. Your eyes flicker to his abdomen, and sure enough, there are wicked bruises starting to show on the skin that covers his ribs. You're pretty sure they're not broken, but you have to be sure.

"This may hurt." You warn him, your fingers prodding gently at his side, and he hisses quietly under his breath. You don't feel anything out of place, but he'll definitely need a few hours of rest and something to ease the pain.

"Your hands are freezing." He grumbles, and before you can say anything, he's got both of them in his much bigger, warmer hands. "There, that's better."

"You're unbelievable, John Egan." Major Cleven speaks up from behind you, his tone more exasperated than anything else.

You carefully extract your hands from Major Egan's, and you try to ignore the way he pouts when you're no longer touching him. "I'll keep him overnight for observation, Major Cleven. Make sure he rests and heals up a bit."

Major Cleven looks strangely relieved, but still, he frowns. "Are you sure? I can handle Bucky; I don't want him causing you any trouble."

His gentle demeanor makes you smile. "I appreciate that, Major, but I've dealt with far rowdier men than Major Egan here. You go on and get some rest; I'll handle this."

Major Egan looks irritated that you and his best friend were talking about him like he wasn't even there. "Just call me Bucky. Or I'll take John." He tells you, his tone demanding, his lips pulled into yet another pout.

"You behave yourself." Major Cleven points a finger at him, his face stern. When he turns back to you, he offers another warm smile. "You might as well call me Buck, too, since you're saving me from trying to sleep in the same room as that one while he's drunk."

You offer your name in return, and you offer a comforting smile as you shoo Buck off to bed.

It's quiet for a moment after the other Major takes his leave. You wonder if the alcohol has made Major Egan fall asleep. You're surprised to see his eyes open and staring directly at you when you turn around.

"Can't remember if I've ever seen you around before." He says, his words still slightly slurred as he speaks. You can't recall ever having heard a voice like his before. Gravely, warm and steady, even with alcohol in his system. "I'd remember that face; you're so pretty."

"And you're drunk." You answer, turning away before he can notice that you're blushing. You've dealt with flirty airmen before, but this is the first time it's really gotten to you. "Get some rest, Major."

He's quiet for a moment, and you're grateful for a reprieve from the flirting as you mark the log book with a pencil. The only noise for a few moments is the lead scratching against the paper as you write.

"I'm gonna call you Peach."

When you turn back, his lips tug into the most heart-stopping smirk you've ever seen. "You could just call me Nurse." You point out, and for some reason, that only seems to egg him on.

"Well, I like Peach. You're prettier than a peach. Sweet as one too; look at that blush." You're sure you've forgotten how to breathe.

"You're a menace." You answer after you've finally gotten a hold of your emotions. "And it's early; you need rest. Sleep."

"How about a goodnight kiss first?" You almost toss the log book at him. Almost. "Just one on the forehead, and then I'll sleep. Scout's honor, Peach."

You sigh, your eyes darting over his face for a moment. Sure, he's a flirt, but you've never heard of him ever harming a woman. So you walk over to his bedside and lean down.

His forehead is warm, an errant curl tickling your cheek as your lips press against his skin. You feel him shudder under the touch of your lips against him, but then his breathing evens back out as you lean away.

"Alright, Major, you got your kiss. Now sleep." He doesn't miss the way your eyes flicker to his lips and away again, but he does as he's told and rolls over onto his side.

After he falls asleep, the morning is quiet. Your shift at the infirmary ends at 0600 and the nurse who comes to relieve you doesn't seem surprised to see Bucky there. She rolls her eyes and huffs a laugh as you explain how he came to be in a bed in the infirmary.

He's shifting awake as you're leaving, and his blue eyes have just enough time to focus on your retreating form before you're gone. He was a little saddened; he'd been hoping for one more kiss.

Outside, the air is still cool, and the sun is just beginning to peek beyond the horizon. The inky blackness of the sky is lightening to a shade of blue that looks like Major Egan's eyes, and God, you have to stop thinking about him. You really didn't need to get attached.

You pass Buck on the way back to your quarters, and he waves at you with one of his dazzling smiles as he passes. He's wearing his uniform, and you know that means he'll be out in the sky soon enough. You return his smile and wave happily.

Exhaustion sweeps through you as you enter your quarters, and you make quick work of taking your hair pins out and wiping your makeup off. By the time your head hits the pillow, sleep pulls you under. The only things on your mind as you fall asleep are dark curls and blue eyes.

***

Hours later, you blink awake. There's still sunlight flittering in through the curtains over your window, and you sit up to stretch your arms and shoulders. It had to be close to dinnertime, and your stomach rumbles as you slip out of bed and dress in your uniform. Sometimes you missed your dresses back home, but you always felt a sense of pride in your olive drab skirt and jacket. You make sure to swipe on your Victory Red lipstick before you leave.

Placing your cover under your arm, you slip out of your barracks just to come face-to-face with a man. Not just any man, either.

"Peach!" He's still loud, his face wide and warm and friendly. His breath smells like the peppermint gum he's chewing, and his eyes are clear. "Don't think I didn't see you slip out of the room before I could ask for my morning kiss."

He's smiling so brightly that it's like looking at the sun. He's all white teeth and dark curls and blue eyes, his cover tucked under his arm. He's got a single flower in his free hand. You've never seen someone look so devastatingly beautiful.

"Major." You greet him, and it's a good thing you didn't put on blush when refreshing your makeup because your face is hot now. Just from looking at him. "What brings you to the women's barracks?"

"I told you, Peach. Call me Bucky. Or John." His grin never falters. You want to kiss the corner of his mouth, nip at the jawline. He's got so much energy and vitality, and your heart beats so loudly that it's a wonder he can't hear. "Well, I came to offer you this gorgeous flower I found on my way over here and ask if you'd like to dance with me tonight."

You'd forgotten all about the party tonight. A crew completing their 25th mission—you hadn't really planned on attending, but you find yourself very tempted to go. "I'm not really the party type." You admit that, and that dims the light in his eyes a little. You regret the words immediately.

"Just one dance." He steps in closer, taking up more space. He's so tall and broad-shouldered; the man takes up so much room that it makes you feel small in the best way. "For your favorite patient? After all, you did give me a good-night kiss. That's gotta count for something."

Your mind rewinds to that moment, when he was fever-warm and shivering under your lips, when you'd wanted so badly to let him kiss you all over. If you weren't blushing before, you sure are now. "Alright, Bucky," You have to ignore the way he lights up when you use his nickname. "One dance."

[freedomforthewin]

Do You Want to Build a Snowman? (Part 3)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Content Warning: Betrayal by a best friend, sexual harassment, and implications of sexual coercion.

———————Four Years Later———————

“Guess what?” John asked excitedly as he came up to his mom, his hands holding both sides of a large sheet of paper.

“What?” she asked, smiling at him.

“I got an A+ on my amusement park design!” he said, showing her the design he drew, which also had the grade written on it.

“That’s great, honey!” She took the picture and held it with one hand and put her other arm around him, pulling him into a side hug as she looked at the drawing. “This is really good, John.”

“Thanks. I’m going to show it to Katarina,” he said happily. He took the picture and turned to head to his sister’s room.

“Wait, honey,” Mrs. Egan called out. John looked back at her.

“Katarina isn’t doing too well right now,” Mrs. Egan said, her voice quietening.

“Why? What happened?”

“She and Drake stopped being friends,” Mrs. Egan said solemnly.

“What?!?! But…why?”

“He wasn’t a real friend. He was just pretending to care about her.”

John stared at her, appalled. “Why would he do that?”

Mrs. Egan hesitated before carefully saying, “Some people are just like that.” She hoped he wouldn’t press for more. He was a bit young to know the details.

“That’s not a good enough reason,” John grumbled, angry at Drake.

“I know, sweetie. I know.

“Just leave her alone for now. I think she just needs some space to deal with this. You’ll see her at dinner. You can tell her about your amusement park project then.”

“Okay.” He calmed down and thought for a moment. “Can you help me make some sugar cookies to help her feel better? Those are her favorite.”

Mrs. Egan smiled warmly at her loving son and agreed. It was Friday after all; he didn’t have school the next day.

They went to the kitchen and set out the ingredients and supplies. Mrs. Egan preheated the stove as John greased the cookie tray. Then John poured and mixed the ingredients as his mom supervised. A few minutes later, Mrs. Egan stepped in to mix, knead, and roll out the dough. Then they took glass cups to use as round cookie cutters. After they put the tray of cookie dough in the oven, John wiped up the counter as his mom did the dishes. When he was finished, she had him go continue working on his homework, and she finished the rest of the dishes. When the cookies were ready, she took them out of the oven to let them cool, and then she left the kitchen.

John came back a little later to check on the cookies. When he saw they were ready, he put enough cookies for Katarina and himself on a plate, got another plate for himself, picked up some napkins, and headed to Katarina’s room.

———————————————————————

Katarina had her textbook for her Scene Design class open and was trying to focus on what she was reading, but her mind kept drifting back to Drake.

How could he do this to me? We were friends for so long. We had cared so much about each other. I did at least; I though he did, too.

Her breath hitched, and she placed her hand over her mouth. Her eyes narrowed in pain.

We had been there for each other. I thought surely there was no way he would do this to me. No way would he end up being one of those guys. No way would he do this to his best friend.

Her eyes filled with tears. She sniffled, and then she reread the text from her friend Louisa.

Oh my God! I hate him. Guys are just…ugh…Seriously, how pathetic is it that when guys get older they need to be taught to see girls as people instead of objects? It’s not a hard concept to understand! I’m so sorry Drake tricked you into believing he was different but then did this to you. It would have been bad enough for him to do this to any woman but to do that to his own best friend? That’s beyond messed up.

Her message brought a sad smile to Katarina’s face.

———————————————————————

John knocked on the door.

“Cassie?” he called, referring to Katarina by her nickname. “It’s Bucky.”

“Do you need something?” he heard Cassie ask. Her voice sounded a little shaky.

“Mom told me about Drake,” he said. “Can I come in?”

“This isn’t really a good time, Bucky.”

“I know you’re upset, Cassie,” Bucky said. “I’m here to help you feel better. Please let me in.”

She didn’t answer.

“Please?” Bucky pleaded.

That did it. He had abandonment problems from the Gale situation. She didn’t want to worsen them by refusing to let him in, too.

“Okay, you can come in.”

Bucky opened the door and saw his sister at her desk, turned away from him, her head bowed. He heard her take a deep breath and slowly exhale. Bucky closed the door and walked to her.

He set the plates and napkins he was holding onto the desk and placed his hand on Cassie’s shoulder. Cassie let out a hitched breath, and after a few moments, her sad eyes met his solemn ones. Bucky gently pulled her to the bed, and they sat down on it. He wrapped his arms around her, and she clutched him, a sob escaping her lips.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

She sniffled and took a few shaky breaths.

“What did, what did Mom tell you?” she asked, a slight tremble in her voice.

He told her, and she confirmed it.

“I don’t understand,” she said brokenly, a tear falling down her face. “He had always seemed like he cared. I don’t understand how he could do this to m-me.”

John pulled her closer to him, holding her tightly as she cried. He rubbed her back as she sobbed, his heart breaking from her pain.

How could Drake do this to her? John thought, upset. He was supposed to be her best friend. He was supposed to care about her.

He just comforted his devastated sister and didn’t let go of her until she eventually calmed down.

“I can’t believe it took him years to tell you he didn’t care about you,” John muttered.

“He didn’t actually tell me. I figured it out.”

“How did you figure it out?” John asked.

“He kept pressuring me to give him something he wanted. Something inappropriate. I said no, but he still kept asking. Over. And over. Again. I realized he wasn’t treating me with respect and wasn’t going to, so I ended the friendship.”

“I’m sorry,” John said morosely. She gave him a sad smile.

“What was it that he wanted so badly from you?” he asked quietly.

“He,” Katarina started before she let out a harrowing laugh and shook her head, realizing how this was going to sound to her little brother, “he wanted me to send him pictures of me without any clothes on.”

“What?!?!” John was horrified.

“Yeah.”

“He’s weird!” John muttered in contempt, his 10-year-old face in a pout, which made Katarina burst out laughing.

She decided to play into it.

“Yeah! He is weird.” She smiled at John.

“Why would he want that?”

“A lot of guys get like that when they get older,” she said, her smile fading. “These thoughts start to come into their heads, and they start wanting to see girls like that.”

John made a disgusted face. “I hope I don’t want to see that when I get older.”

Cassie smiled at him before looking down. She thought about telling him it’s normal for a lot of guys to like stuff like that and that that’s not wrong, but she decided against it. He was only 10; he was too young to understand that.

“Either way, forcing and guilting girls into showing you pictures of themselves naked is bad,” she said quietly.

“I’d never do that.”

Katarina smiled gratefully at her brother. “I know. And not all guys would do that.” She paused before sorrowfully saying, “There are, however, a lot who do pressure girls into doing inappropriate things and don’t take “no” for an answer. And treat girls like girls are objects instead of people. And mistreat girls.”

“But why?” he asked worriedly.

She shook her head. “They choose to become like that.”

“That many guys?”

“Yeah.”

“Am I doomed to become like that?” he asked, scared.

Katarina thought carefully before saying, “Only if you choose to.”

John was silent at first before he nodded firmly. “I won’t.”

She nodded back in acknowledgment.

“You always have a choice in deciding who you want to be. Sometimes there might be…obstacles…that make it harder to be who you want to be, but that’s all they do: make it harder. They don’t eliminate your ability to do better. They don’t eliminate your ability to be who you decide you want to be. You still have a choice. And if you need help to do better, you can choose to get help.”

“Okay.”

Katarina smiled at him and wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her back.

The naked picture thing is enough, she thought. He doesn’t need to know about the other thing Drake kept pressuring me to do. John’s too young to know. Oh God, I probably shouldn’t have told him about the picture thing in the first place!

Alright. It’s okay. It’s okay. What’s done is done. He saw me upset; of course he’d want to know why. And I was too upset to keep it in. It’s okay. What’s done is done.

Now it’s about keeping things real but age appropriate. This obviously wasn’t enough of a puberty and sex talk, but I think this might be okay for now. He’s only 10.

She tightened her arms around Bucky, and he did the same to her. She rested her head against his shoulder.

All the tricks of the trade that Drake pulled to try to get me to do it with him…I hate him.

I wish all guys chose to do better. Too many choose to be slaves to their desires. That’s so weak of them! How could they choose to be so freaking weak?!?!

She stayed in her brother’s arms a little longer. After she pulled out of the hug, she looked at the cookies her brother brought. Her lips curled into a smile.

“Mom made sugar cookies?”

“Both of us. I know they’re your favorite, and I wanted to help you feel better, so I asked if we could make them.”

Katarina was touched.

“Thank you so much, Bucky. That was really nice of you.”

“You’re welcome. I brought some extra ones so that I could have some, too.”

“Okay.”

“And Katarina?”

“Yeah?”

“You didn’t deserve what he did. You deserve better than him.”

The older sister smiled appreciatively at him.

“Thank you, John,” she said softly.

He smiled back.

They started eating the sugar cookies as they talked about school. Katarina showed John a painting she had made for her Scene Design class, and John thought it was really good. John then told her about the A+ he got on his amusement park drawing. She congratulated him and asked to see the design. He went to go retrieve it and then happily showed it to her. She was impressed with it.

They continued to talk about school and funny moments that had happened in their classes, some of the little things in life that made it worth living.

When Katarina seemed like she was better, John got ready to go. He took their plates and napkins and then kissed his sister on the cheek before leaving.

———————————————————————

John was on his way back to his room when he saw Gale’s closed door. He paused, staring at it.

It had been a while since they had last spoken. Since he had even seen Gale. After that last day, John had just stopped trying with him.

Gale’s silence when John had asked him if he wanted to play anything with John had stung. They had been best friends. John hadn’t done anything to Gale; there was no reason why Gale should have wanted to avoid him like that.

John kind of wanted to just walk by the door, like he had done the past four years, and say nothing. Gale had made no effort to see him, so clearly Gale was fine without him.

Right?

But maybe…just maybe…ugh. John didn’t know.

Then he thought of something. John had wanted to play with Gale when they were younger, but playing with Gale meant Gale would have had to leave the room. Maybe, for some reason, Gale had just not wanted to leave the room.

Maybe John could try something else. Maybe he could try talking with Gale. Talking about anything. Maybe he shouldn’t ask Gale about leaving the room or ask what was going on though. That might get him to push John away again. But maybe, if John just talked to him like normal…

It was worth a try. As upset as he had been, he still had been missing Gale.

He went up to the door and knocked.

“Who is it?” he heard a voice call.

“It’s Bucky.”

“Bucky?” Gale went closer to the door, surprised. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to know how you are doing.”

“Oh…I’m…I’m doing fine…How are you?”

“I’m okay now,” Bucky said, settling himself on the carpeted floor, his back against the door. “It was hard earlier. Cassie was crying.”

“Why? What happened?” Both boys were fond of her.

“Her best friend kept pressuring her to do something inappropriate. He wouldn’t stop, so she ended the friendship.”

Gale groaned. “That’s horrible.”

“Yeah. She was really upset.”

“I’m sorry that happened to her.”

“I am, too.”

“What did he pressure her to do?”

“As crazy as this is going to sound, he wanted her to send him pictures of herself naked.”

“What?!?!”

“Yeah!”

“He’s weird,” Gale muttered.

“I know, right???”

They continued to talk, the tension between them slowly dissipating. Bucky was so glad to finally be able to interact with him without getting pushed away.

“I have to go,” Bucky said after some time, regretfully. “It was good to talk to you, Buck.”

“It was good to talk to you, too, Bucky.” A hint of longing crept into Buck’s voice, though he tried to keep it at bay. Bucky heard it though.

He wanted to ask Buck what was going on, why he wouldn’t come out. But Buck had just started interacting with him. He didn’t want to do something that might make Buck push him away again. So, as hard as it was, John held his tongue.

Meanwhile, Buck bit his lip, trying to keep himself composed.

He had missed Bucky so much. He badly wanted to tell his best friend what was going on. But he couldn’t.

God, this was so hard.

Bucky laid his palm against the door. Buck, feeling that, laid his palm in the same spot on the opposite side of the door. The two of them stayed like that for some time, separated by a door but together in heart.

“Bye, Buck,” John then said softly.

“Bye, Bucky,” Gale answered back, trying, but failing, to keep the pain out of his voice.

John closed his eyes sorrowfully and stayed in place for a few more seconds. Then he took his palm away, looked at the door for a few more moments, and then walked away.

Gale kept his palm there just a little longer before he lowered it.

[johnslittlespoon]

Tough And Sweet (Like You And Me)

Ch. 12: 'We Go So Good Together'

[WC: 191K | Gale Cleven/John Egan, College AU, The Bikeriders AU, Age Gap, Emotional Slowburn, Hurt/Comfort, Porn With Plot, Set in 2005]

College student John Egan ends up in an old pub on the other side of his small town, where he has a chance encounter with biker and mechanic Gale Cleven. His life is forever changed.

[AO3 LINK]

[joeyalohadream]

💕☀️Joey's Masters of the Air Fanfiction Recommendations - Part 1 ☀️💕

Being part of a fandom that is small, yet so incredibly talented has been such a breath of fresh air for me. My reading list has been a mile long (and growing every day!) for far too long and I've recently been making more time for myself to simply read. And I wanted to take some time to shout out some of the wonderful stories and authors that I've really enjoyed lately.

All of these recommendations are Clegan stories because that is what I personally most enjoy reading. But there are other blogs and talented authors out there that write for all sorts of pairs in the fandom that I encourage people to engage with!

Adding a cut because it’s a looong post!

☀️ The Bucks in a Boat by magic_glow (not sure if the author has a tumblr!)

Explicit, Post-War, Falling in Love, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort

This is an AU based on the movie The Boys in the Boat (starring our lovely Callum). The plot follows John returning home from the war, where he still served as a B17 bomber pilot. But he enrolls in school and times are tough, so much like in the film, he tries out for the rowing team for the free room and board. Where he meets, and immediately forms a strong bond with, Gale Cleven. The author manages to keep the characterizations true, while still making them their own. They manage to incorporate almost every Mota character in a meaningful way and I especially love the sweet friendship between John and Brady in this one. It deals with the trauma of War and life and also displays a beautiful sense of camaraderie as they form as a team and learn to lean on one another. It’s wonderfully written and the world building is phenomenal. The pace is perfect and the story is compelling and John and Gale’s connection is explored with care. This is my current ‘comfort fic’ and I look forward to reading how it all develops. (And the title is so cute!)

☀️ He may be the Reason by c_goldthorn (@c-goldthorn)

Explicit, Mutual Pining, Romantic Comedy

This a modern au based on the movie Notting Hill and I recommend this one, whether or not you've seen the movie! As someone who has never seen the movie, this fic is my first experience with the plot and I'm loving every minute of it. The author infuses humor and care and love into her stories and you'll fall in love with all of the characters in this one. It's romantic and sweet and angsty and the longing is palpable. I am always patiently waiting for me. (And she has a couple of side stories in the universe posted as well that are very sweet!)

☀️ one way, or another by hart (@blixabargelds)

Explicit, Kidnapping, Strangers to Lovers, Getting Together

Okay, so literally everything that she writes is fantastic. No one quite hurts Gale like she does (lol) and it's done with care and reason and it's beautiful to read. This story though, it's hard to find words to describe it. It's a modern au where Gale orchestrates his own kidnapping (for reasons) and John is the kidnapper. A truly unique plot that is executed so perfectly that I read it twice in one weekend. It's angsty, especially as Gale's circumstances seem to get more and more bleak, yet there is this light, romantic air to it throughout because of the dynamic the author creates between John and Gale. It's FUN. And reading should be fun. It's truly a masterpiece and you'll be hooked from the first paragraph.

☀️ before you say 'cut', wait five more seconds by phlegmatic (@irregularcollapse)

Explicit, Actors AU, Workplace Relationship, Sharing a Bed

She is one of those gold standard creators in my opinion. Not just in the Mota fandom, but just in general. The way she tells a story is captivating and you get the sense that every word written is there for a specific reason. The care she puts into the craft is evident and appreciated and while I’m too shy to have ever really interacted with her, I’m such a huge fan. I could rave endlessly about her work, but onto the specific story I’m recommending! This story follows Gale, an up and coming actor that gets his 'big break' when he's cast as one of the leads in a big movie. He's starring alongside John, who is already an very established name in the industry. They fall into bed (and never really leave for long) and along the way, start to fall for each other. It is clear that this universe the author created means a lot to them. It is so authentic and focused on acting as a craft, as an artform and I learned a lot about the industry from reading this. The turmoil, buzzing under the surface, that Gale feels about his career and his future is so palpable and so vivid, I felt the anxiety along with him. Her version of John in this story is one of my favorites. He's sweet and raw and brash and caring. I really could gush forever about this one. The characterization is so impressive, they're them, but they're also hers and they're layered and real and beautiful. Honestly, just go read it. You'll understand why I rambled and still couldn't manage to say anything eloquent.

☀️ Packages and Pet Names by youllneverrecme (@recmeidareya)

Modern Setting, First Meetings, First Dates, PTSD

Any pet name you could possibly imagine John using for Gale, this author has already thought of them (and more!). In this one, Gale is a war veteran and John is his local UPS driver. I went into this one thinking it would be a silly, funny, sexy story (and it is!), but it also so much more than that. It's tender. And it's sweet and it's gentle. The way this author writes Gale is beautiful. He feels so real to me. The care and thoughtfulness that clearly went into his background as a Soldier is very important to me. And watching him open himself to new things, to John and to love? It's been a wonderful journey to be on. And John in this? Absolutely amazing. He's funny and sharp and soft and he cares about Gale so much. I am genuinely enjoying watching them fall in love in this and I can't wait to read more. Every one should be reading this.

☀️ just stay with me (baby stay with me) by bcoflove (@bcolfanfic)

Teen+, Modern Setting, NYC, First Kiss

This story is so sugary sweet. The author has created a 'Cornerstore AU', on tumblr and posted a fic on AO3 on Super Bowl Sunday and I'm a little obsessed. Gale moved to NYC and ended up in bad living situation. But he finds solace in visiting a corner store where John works. I'm in love with this version of Gale. He's unsure of himself and he's awkward and he's so sweet. And John is a force of nature. Funny and kind and in Gale's corner. I hope the author is inspired to write more for this au, because I'd read a 100,000 words of this.

☀️ Driving In Your Car (I've Never Felt Safer) by Thetrystingtree (@alienoresimagines)

GA, Mutual Pining, Boys in Love, Fluff

One of my favorite things about this authors writing is that it always feels a bit like I’m reading poetry when I read her stories. There’s a lightness, a beauty to the way she weaves words together. It’s vivid and authentic and I can clearly picture the settings and feel the emotions in her stories. This story in particular is such a sweet premise. Gale is tired and John drives him around base in the jeep to allow him to rest a bit. The other night, I was lying in bed and I wanted something calming and gentle to read before I fell asleep. So I went to this authors page and found this story to reread because I knew her words were what I was looking for in that moment. It's sweet and funny and, just like all of her stories, always the perfect bedtime story.

☀️ I Won't Go Where You Can't Follow by stars_remain2 (@stars-remain2)

Teen+, Whump, Violence, Protective John

If you know me, you know I have a weak spot for Gale whump and John being protective and this story has both in SPADES. It is a canon-divergence, looking a what if? scenario where Gale doesn't go over the wall and is punished for his escape attempt. He's beaten while John is forced to watch and it's brutal and painful, but so well written and so beautifully explored. The way the guys rally around Gale to help him get through the march, the way John cares for him, the way Gale is so self-sacrificing...it's all woven together into a fantastic story. The cliffhangers are killing me, but I'm hanging on because it's too good to stop. And I just know some supreme comfort is coming after all of the hurt.

☀️ Looking for Eight by VoluptuosPanic (@weimarweekly)

Explicit, Modern Setting, Rodeo AU, Repressed Feelings, Love

I'll embarrass myself if I go on to much about this fic because it brings me such joy. John is bronc rider and Gale is farrier. In this modern au, they met and spent a few days together on a road trip, years ago and then they reconnect at a rodeo. This story is so calming and so gentle and so tender it will melt you into goo. The authors style is so unique and beautiful. Her words flow together in a way that honestly reminds me of water running over river rocks in a stream. I swear I have a dopey smile on my face while I read each chapter (and then reread it). This fic is breathtaking and wonderful and just one of my favorites I've ever read. I've never read a sweeter version of Gale and John. They're so tender with each other I could melt into goo just thinking about them. Read it!

☀️ cicada season by Swify_Fox (@swifty-fox)

Explicit, Modern Setting, PTSD, Past Child Abuse, Therapy

Oh, Swifty. A fandom staple and a masterclass talent. This fic is no exception. A modern au where Gale is a Phd student, working on an intense thesis breeding a rare breed of frogs and John is a contractor, hired to remodel the house Gale lives in with Crank and Marge. The research that went into this is evident and impressive and makes the story that much more compelling. Gale is practically made of barbed wire in this (for good reasons I dread to learn) and he's so three-dimensional. Each chapter begins with a therapy session for Gale as he works through trauma from his childhood. It's such a well crafted story in every aspect. John and Gale's dynamic is so fun and contentious and full of potential for something more. I'm in love with this one. You can feel the care that went into this one and every word you read means something special. Rachel's mind is truly a marvel and you are missing out if you haven't given this one a go yet.

This was fun! There is so much talent in this fandom and I have been having such a good time reading. As I was making this, I kept thinking of more and more, so I'm sure I'll be making another one of these at some point. 💕

For now though, I'm taking a little break from Tumblr. I'll still be writing and reading and posting on AO3, but I need some time off from social media for personal reasons.

Just wanted to spread some love before I disappear for a little while ❤️

[storiesfromafan]

Rumours - Buck x Reader

A/N: okay, this is my first attempt at good old Gale 'Buck' Cleven, so please be nice 😅 And I am sorry in advance if its not that good haha.

Warnings: angst, possible grammer and spelling mistakes

Prompt: “You think I wanted this to happen? You think I, of all people, wanted to fall in love with you”

Tag list: @strayrockette

When you signed up to be a nurse during the war, you had been scared of what you would see. And see you did. Many times you questioned why you did it. But meeting both Buck and Bucky, you understood why. They were funny and sweet guys. Buck the more level headed one, while Bucky was a wild card. You never know what he would do. You did what you did for them, and men like them. They needed someone that was like home while doing what they did and through this war.

They took you into their circle. Making it hard to say no to their company, which you were grateful for after a long day after being on stand by, as those injured came in for treatment. The hurt and broken men you saw, it was heartbreaking and soul crushing. Yet you did your job. Helping Doctors and tending to those in recovery.

Over time you found yourself having a silly crush on Major Cleven. And when it turned to something more – love – you thought yourself foolish. He had a sweetheart back home, waiting for him patiently. So you put those feelings away, in a box which you locked and hid the key.

Unfortunately, a few of the other nurses, ones who you think fancied Bucky more than Buck, had it out for you. For rumours started to make the rounds about you and your affections. The way eyes would watch you as you entered a room. Silence falling between those that had clearly been conversing before your arrival. And then when you heard what they were saying, it hurt. It hurt because these people, whom you thought highly of, had tarnished your reputation.

“She's trying to steal another woman’s man, how shameless".

“I heard she's thrown herself at Major Cleven and Major Egan. It's why she's always with them".

“I always thought she had no morals. She’s always too friendly with the Doctors".

That was just some of the stuff you'd heard. So you took to distancing yourself from everyone. Only being present during your shifts, meetings or at meals. Otherwise you were in your quarters, walking around the base or going into town. It was lonely being separate from everyone. But you didn’t want to stir any new gossip.

Currently you were taking a walk around the base, enjoying the nice weather. You had been over worked the last few days, having a moment like this was just what you needed. In the distance you could hear the air crafts being worked on. But other then that, it was quiet. A contrast to back home and where you lived.

If only your peace was to last. Coming up behind you, as you were looking off into the vast open area and the blue sky, was Buck. He looked worried as he studied you. It felt like forever since he had spoken to you. He was concerned about you and how you were taking the rumours going around base. Ones which he and Bucky had been working to clear up.

You heard the rustle of grass from moving feet. But you remained where you were, waiting to know who it was. You had a fifty-fifty chance on knowing who it was, though you hoped it was Bucky.

“Hey" came Buck's soft voice. And squashing your hopes on Major Egan.

“Hi" you replied, still not turning around.

There was a moment of silence between you both. You hoping he wasn’t here to talk about what people were saying. While Buck was trying to think of how to say what he was thinking. He wanted you to know he didn't believe what was being said, that he knew you were a nice and good woman who didn't deserve this slander.

“Look, about what I've heard” Buck began, making you stiffen. “I don't believe what anyone has been saying, you know that right? You're not that kind of woman".

You nodded your head slowly. “W-what have you heard?” You asked, not entirely wanting to hear his answer.

Placing his hands on his hips, Buck looked down, unsure if he should answer your question. “Let's just say what I heard, I didn't like. And both myself and Bucky have been doing our best to shut it all down".

That was when you turned around, a sad but thankful smile on your face. Seeing your face and how worn out you look, it pulled at Buck's heartstrings. He could see you were tired, but that was due to the busy last few days. But also he could see the toll how this whole rumour thing was taking on you. When you distanced yourself, it broke his and Bucky's hearts.

They had come to enjoy your company, and your spirit. The three of you always finding something to talk about or laugh at, though it was usually at Bucky's antics. He never understood how women could be so catty. But in some cases, men are just as bad.

“Everything will be alright" Buck said, looking you in the eye. “Give it a few days and it should start to go back to how it was...”

You frowned. “I'm afraid the damage is done Buck. Even if people aren't saying it, they'll be thinking it. I'll be surprised if I don't get pulled in for a meeting over it...”

“Bucky and I will stand up for you".

“That might not be a good idea. It may only make it worse" your voice weary, eyes falling to the ground.

“But none of its true, right?” He questioned, hoping he sounded worried and not accusing.

You should have said no right away, though it might have given him the wrong idea. But the prolonged silence didn't help either. You avoided his eyes as Buck tried to meet them. You turned away from him and wrapped your arms around yourself.

“(Y/N), none of its true...?” Buck repeated himself, now with worry.

You sighed. “No...except for one thing...”

Buck moved closer to you. “What is true? You have to tell me so I, Bucky and I can help".

Thinking he was going to place a hand on your shoulder, you flinched, taking a few steps back. “I-it's embarrassing...and childish...”

Buck remained silent, urging you with his eyes to go on.

You sighed. “I-it's my feelings...for you" you ended on a whisper.

But Buck still heard it. He had heard how some women had gossiped about you being in love with him. And he had found it ridiculous. You were friends, that was it. So he had thought. But now, from your admission, those women had been right. Which didn't help the unease he was feeling over it all. He felt angry that they had spread your true feelings. Feelings you had kept to yourself, never acting on. Unlike some women he had seen. They were more shameless then you.

“I see...” he stated, voice calm and gentle.

“Yes...now you know how silly I am" you started, feeling tears rise in your eyes. “How silly I am to be in love with you. When I know I shouldn't".

“It's alright" Buck said reassuringly. “It happens...”

Those words hurt, like a slap to the face. Like he was trying to play it off, or sweep it under a rug. Like it didn't matter. Well it didn't, but some kind of assurance would have been nice. But in stead, Buck was keeping you at arms length over it. And it sparked different emotions in you; anger, frustration, hurt and sadness.

“You think I wanted this to happen? You think I, of all people, wanted to fall in love with you” you said with a strained voice. Tears in your eyes, which you were managing to hold back for now.

The look on Buck's face was like pity, how his eyes looked guilty and in despair. “(Y/N)...” his voice soft and weary.

“No Buck, don't" you held up a hand. “I don’t, can't hear it". A tear escaped and ran down your cheek. “I don't want to hear your kind words, as you let me down...I know you have Marge. And I shouldn't have let myself get carried away with being around you and Bucky. But you were both nice to me, the company that I needed. Yet I let my feelings get away from me...”

You dropped your hand, your shoulders slouching slightly as you looked down. Unable to face the gorgeous Major who'd stolen your heart. From the dashing smile, to his warm heart dancing with Meatball, and everything in between. Major Gale Cleven was the man of your dreams, but he belonged to another. A woman that Buck spoke fondly of on the nights when you had to bunker down as bombs went off near by. A woman that made you feel less than in just about every way, except being a nurse during the war.

“Marge is a lucky woman...” you stated with a small laugh. “You're lucky to have a woman like her waiting for you back home...no doubt you'll both be happy" you voice dropping at the end.

It was silent after that. You having said your piece, something that shouldn’t have been aired out, if it wasn’t for the other nurses. Buck was quiet because he was processing your words. Which struck a cord in him. And dare he say that he felt for you. Over this time together, bonded in the worst way, he had grown closer to you. He sort out your company and spirit, especially after returning from a mission that was tough. He revelled in your sunshine. Seeing you like this hurt his heart.

Neither knew what to say after all that. Buck had opened his mouth and closed it a few times. Hoping when he would go to speak the words would come to him, but there was nothing. He should have agreed with you, and said he appreciated your affections. But he couldn't. Because a small part of him liked this, and wanted it from you. And even a part of him at one point had entertained the idea of you.

But he let it be just that, a thought. He had a girl back home waiting, a sweet thing who wrote him letters and cared. Could he really lose that? Or juggle both? No, he wasn't that kind of guy. Yet Buck had feelings for you, that weren't entirely friendly.

“F-forget this ever happened Buck...” you said softly, so softly that Buck wondered if you spoke at all.

And with that, you took your leave. Heading back to your room. Back to solitude and your thoughts. It wasn't great, but its all you had till either people stopped being asses. Or the war was over. Which ever happened first.