#however i still think chifuyu and takemichi's friendship is the best

[chodzacaparodia]

So much time has passed and I still think about the scene where Takemichi said Chifuyu was the best friend he ever had, but Chifuyu didn't say the same about Takemichi.

Takemichi's words really meant a lot to Chifuyu, it's obvious how much it made him emotional. After all, Takemichi and Chifuyu really are best friends. 

But I'm sure at that moment Chifuyu thought of Baji, the best friend he'd ever had. And it was the thought of Keisuke who died that made Chifuyu unable to say the words "You too are the best friend I've ever had" to Takemichi.

Because he will always think that Baji, who changed his life, is that friend.

[spicysoftsweet]

Chapter 11

Masterlist

The days following the funeral had been extremely lonely for Kaksi. While she knew she wasn’t the only one who was suffering from losing Baji, she felt like she shouldn’t bother anyone, attempting to overcome her own grief by herself. Eventually, she decided to pay a visit to her best friend despite the fact that she hadn’t called or texted ever since the ceremony.

But that had only worsened things, adding to the loneliness and sadness as she returned to her place after learning that Kumi had left Tokyo just a few days prior. Part of Kaksi was hurt that she hadn’t given her any notice, not even bothering to say goodbye, but another part of her knew that it was for the best and could only wish her a good recovery.

She felt useless being unable to help her but she figured that if she couldn’t be there for Kumi she would be there for anyone else that needed her. One of those people happened to be Chifuyu - while none of them wanted to address their feelings outright, they found each other’s company comforting. Kaksi could never replace Baji, the Toman member remembered painfully when he was with her, but they would still share a laugh together from time to time.

It had always been evident to Kaksi that Chifuyu’s feelings for Baji went beyond friendship and she wondered if the first division captain had been aware. She hoped he did not, keeping Chifuyu so close yet so far seemed cruel to her, especially when Kumi had entered the picture. But that was none of her business and she didn’t exactly want to broach the subject of romance with her friend even if he did seem to want to be involved with that side of her life.

“Are you going to see Kazutora soon?”

Kaksi let out a sigh, knowing she would regret it if she didn’t.

“I guess so.”

“He’d be happy to see you,” Chifuyu reassured with a little smile. “Heard Takemichi and Draken are going to see him soon too.”

Takemichi.

Kaksi couldn’t figure why but it still bothered her that he was always so involved in everything that was related to the gang. While she had nothing personal against him (at least she thought so), she couldn’t help feeling strange about his role in all of this.

“Why is he everywhere?”

“Who?” Chifuyu asked, confused. “Takemichi?”

Kaksi nodded.

“He says he wants to be Toman’s leader,” he explained.

“What the fuck?”

Chifuyu laughed at Kaksi’s evident confusion.

“I know. He’s insane.”

“Why does he want to become Toman’s leader?” she asked. “He was a nobody months ago.”

“I don’t know,” Chifuyu admitted. “But he’s pretty damn determined to achieve his goal. Besides, Baji trusts him.”

Kaksi smiled at his last words but that wouldn’t be enough to convince her that Takemichi’s motivations and behaviour were normal.

“So you trust him?”

Chifuyu nodded.

“He’s weird,” Kaksi pointed out. “Don’t know if I do.”

Kaksi had good intuitions and she had learned in the past to always trust them. She needed to talk to Takemichi, there was clearly something she was missing in all this chaos. If someone was to be Toman’s leader after Mikey it certainly would not be Takemichi, she was convinced and even if it was, why would he want that?

As Kaksi wondered about that she was reminded of her previous conversation with him. Something didn’t add up once again - why would Baji trust Takemichi? They barely knew each other. While she knew Baji was as, if not more, intuitive and perceptive than her, there must have been more than linked them. Maybe there was something Chifuyu was unaware of? No, that didn’t make sense; she remembered Takemichi coming to Kumi and her looking for intel about Kazutora and Baji, as the Valhalla conflict had been brewing.

Takemichi really was a nobody and despite suddenly appearing in their lives, he somehow played a key role in the gang. Kaksi didn’t know why she felt the need to investigate him and thinking about it now, she realised that all the people she held dear were related to him. Perhaps it was out of desperation for something to distract her, but for her peace of mind, she needed to know more about him.  

---

Takemichi had been surprised to see Kaksi, still in her school uniform, standing by his school’s entrance. His blue eyes widened as he caught her brown ones. Her face wore a neutral expression as usual and he couldn’t help feeling intimidated as she walked over to him. She didn’t smile or wave at him but she greeted him and quickly asked if she could have a few words with him.

Takemichi agreed and awkwardly, he and the taller girl walked together for a little while. They didn’t have a specific destination in mind but he figured they could just sit at the playground right around the corner and talk. He hadn’t seen her since Baji’s funeral and he couldn’t tell how she felt, finding Kaksi rather unreadable. He did however note that she looked more tired than he had usually seen her.

“What exactly are your motivations, Takemichi?” she asked suddenly, catching him off-guard.

He stayed silent for a moment, wondering what a good answer would be to that question.

“What do you mean?”

“A few months ago I had no idea who you were,” she explained. “Then suddenly you became the most talked-about person among my friends for some reason.”

It was true that Takemichi’s involvement with Toman had evolved very quickly and he felt himself sink deeper into its core every day. So Kaksi’s confusion was founded as someone who had watched most things unfold on the sidelines.

“And now I’m told you want to become Toman’s number one?” she continued, a frown on her face. “What is it that you know that you are not telling us?”

Kaksi’s voice wasn’t threatening in the slightest, but Takemichi couldn’t help getting nervous. There were so many things that he knew that he wasn’t telling anyone and the burden of his secret was getting harder to carry every day. Part of Takemichi carried the guilt of Baji’s death and while he had prevented Mikey from killing Kazutora, he had still failed his original mission.

It didn’t matter that Baji technically killed himself, Kazutora had inflicted to him fatal injuries that Takemichi failed to anticipate despite knowing more about the events that were meant to unfold than anyone else. He stayed silent. What would Kaksi think if she knew the truth? Would she hate him for failing to save Baji?

“What do you want, Takemichi?” she asked, filling the silence once again as Takemichi found himself unable to answer.

“I just want to save everyone.”

It felt good to say it but seeing the look on Kaksi’s face he realised that he had only confused her more.

“How?”

Takemichi didn’t know. He wasn’t smart, he wasn’t strong, and he was breaking too. Tears filled his eyes and he realized that the pressure was unbearable under Kaksi’s gaze.

“I don’t know, Kaksi,” he replied, tears rolling down his cheeks. “I have no idea.”

The girl could feel her vision blur as Takemichi started to sob.

“I wish I could save everyone too.”

Her voice cracked and she was happy no one was there to witness them.

“I wish I could have done something,” she continued, frustrated and tears falling uncontrollably. “I knew Kazutora was unstable but I didn’t know what to do. I should have insisted and talked to him the moment I knew what he was preparing. Baji…”

Kaksi, finding it hard to speak, paused for a moment. It was sickening to watch her like this, Takemichi thought, the guilt he felt amplified.

“Fuck I didn’t even talk to Baji. I just let him push me away like everyone else.”

“Please don’t blame yourself,” Takemichi begged her. “I’m the one who failed to protect Baji.”

Kaksi shook her head. Takemichi couldn’t have known how far Kazutora could go. But Kaksi did, as much as she loved him, she knew that Kazutora was never only the boy who gently kissed her knuckles. No, she knew there was a much more violent and aggressive side to her love. She had believed that it was under control, that she could keep him under control but she had failed.

“You didn’t know.”

Takemichi cried louder at those words. He wanted to scream and he did, unable to contain his feelings.

“I did,” he admitted, the words barely making it out. “I knew Kazutora would stab Baji and I couldn’t stop him. I couldn’t save Baji.”

He slammed his fist on the table they were sitting on and kept weeping. Kaksi’s eyes widened slightly, surprised by the sudden movement but more importantly by what he said.

“What do you mean you knew Kazutora would stab Baji?” she asked in horror and confusion.

“Forgive me, Kaksi.”

That was all Takemichi said for a moment along with repeated apologies. Kaksi asked him again, feeling her heartbeat increase. What did he mean?

“I knew Baji was going to die,” he started confessing.

But all Kaksi could do was cry harder as she listened to Takemichi’s secrets. He did not think anymore, telling her everything from the day he was meant to die, to Naoto, to Hina, to all the events he was able to change, to the guilt that crushed him and to his helplessness regarding Baji’s death.

By the end of his explanation, both of them sat quietly. Takemichi felt good for having gotten this all out of his chest but now he had to deal with how this could possibly affect Kaksi. Despite her initial shock, Kaksi figured this was way too serious for Takemichi to lie and it did explain how he had climbed Toman’s ranks so quickly and why he was so persistent. She felt a little guilty for thinking that his intentions could have been bad before they had talked.

So she apologised to him and reassured him that Baji’s death was in no way his fault and acknowledged that the weight of the responsibility he held was crushing.

“What are you going to do now?” Kaksi asked, having dried her tears.

“I’m going to go back to twelve years in the future.”

“Do you think the future will be fixed this time?”

“I hope so,” he said with a little smile.

Kaksi stayed silent for a moment.

“I don’t want anything bad to happen to him anymore,” she said, eyes filling with tears again. “I’ll help you protect Mikey.”

Mikey who she hadn’t talked to in weeks. How terrible she felt, the memory of their fight still fresh in her mind. Takemichi smiled at her, the love Kaksi held for Mikey was always so evident to him but was it as evident to her and Mikey? He couldn’t tell but he hoped he could offer them the happiness they deserved.

Takemichi kept the girl company for a while longer and she promised his secret was safe with her before bidding him goodbye. They weren’t sure they would see each other again before Takemichi next time leapt, so she told him she would be meeting Kazutora and watch out for Mikey as much as she could.

This definitely wasn’t the motivation she had expected Takemichi to have but maybe she had been wrong about him. Takemichi was strong in his own way and a lot of people counted on him. She hoped he would be fine.

---

As days passed, Mikey remained on Kaksi’s mind, but he was usually quickly joined by Kazutora. What was even meant to happen to him? As much as Kaksi wanted to be angry with him, she couldn’t. She missed him already and she knew this was only the start of their troubles but what even was left of their relationship? She was unsure.

Chifuyu said he would be happy to see her and he had also told her about the rage and renewed energy that had taken over Kazutora when Mikey had hit her. She knew he still cared and she did too, so very much. Kaksi’s feelings for Kazutora never faded but she worried if he would ever believe that. All he seemed to think about was Mikey.

Kaksi didn’t know what to expect, making her way to the detention centre. She could feel tears blurring her vision at the thought of Kazutora and her being separated again as well as the reason why. He carried so much guilt that she was worried about how this would affect his fragile mental health more than anything.

She followed the police officers leading her to face her ex-boyfriend nervously. As soon as she saw him behind glass windows she couldn’t prevent her tears from falling. Kazutora watched her quietly, his own eyes filling with tears at the sight of her pain. They didn’t have that unfamiliar glimmer she was scared of and they displayed sadness more than anything else.

What could he ever say to make all this better? He didn’t think there was anything that would.

All Kazutora felt was guilt and regret. He had killed one of the most precious people to him and hurt the dearest to his heart. Kaksi was too kind to visit him especially after what he had done and accused her of. He hadn’t expected her to visit him, he hadn’t expected anyone. He had already felt like he had used all his luck when Draken had delivered Mikey’s message to him, therefore seeing the face of the girl he loved truly felt like one last blessing before his punishment started.

“Kaksi,” he started. “I’m so sorry.”

She didn’t say anything, drying her tears instead as Kazutora’s fell down his cheeks.

“I won’t ask for your forgiveness. You have every right to hate me.”

“You know I could never hate you, Kazutora,” she said with a sad smile.

He didn’t say anything for a moment, then murmured, “You should.”

At that moment Kazutora wished that Kaksi had moved on with Mikey. He didn’t want to be a burden to her anymore, she didn’t deserve any of that.

“How long are they expecting your sentence to be?” she asked, nervously.

“Ten years.”

Kaksi clenched her teeth at the thought, the words repeating in her head. She wanted to scream in frustration but this was probably the best outcome, she was aware. So she decided to hide her distress, not wanting to worry Kazutora.

“It will be lonely without you,” she said. “But I’ll wait.”

Kazutora’s eyes widened in shock.

“What?”

It was as crazy as it sounded. Kaksi would wait for him again.

“I’ll wait for you,” she repeated. “I can do it.”

Kazutora wondered if those words were meant to convince him or herself.

“Kaksi,” he begged. “Don’t do this. I don’t want you to wait for me.”

Those words hurt her.

“What am I supposed to do then?” she asked, voice breaking and tears blurring her vision again.

Kaksi was tired of everything she had ever known falling apart. Baji was dead, Kumi was gone and despite her promise to Takemichi, she didn’t even know if she could fix things with Mikey. She didn’t think she could handle Kazutora leaving her too. Ten years would be torture without him but the idea of one day reuniting with her boyfriend was enough right now to comfort her.

He didn’t know what to tell her. Kazutora had already harmed her so much he wondered if having a proper breakup now wouldn’t be best for her. But seeing her cry despite trying to stay strong he couldn’t afford to break her heart a second time.

“Kaksi, I don’t want you to waste any more time for me,” he explained. “Ten years is a long time. You can’t wait that long, especially not for me.”

The girl took a moment before answering.

“I’m not giving up on you, Kazutora,” she said, a new wave of determination overtaking her. “You said you wouldn’t ask me to forgive you but why? Because you don’t think you deserve my forgiveness or because you don’t want to earn it?”

Kazutora’s sandy eyes widened. Of course he wanted to earn Kaksi’s forgiveness. He would do anything for her.

“Because I don’t think I deserve it.”

“Well that’s up to me to decide, Kazutora,” she replied, her voice colder.

Despite wanting to argue, Kazutora stayed silent.

“If you feel guilty, then fix your mistakes,” she told him. “Get proper rehabilitation and let me help you once you’re out.”

Kazutora gave her a sad smile.

“I will.”

It was a promise that he couldn’t break, he thought. Kazutora hoped that despite her words, Kaksi would move on. He hoped she stayed away from Toman, made new friends, fell in love and pursued the career she wanted to. Whether she was there to welcome him or not when he would come out didn’t matter. Her feelings would fade; they had to. The idea of her moving on with Mikey felt like knives in his stomach but he would not blame her for any decisions she would make without him this time.

“Promise you’ll be happy for the next ten years,” Kazutora demanded.

Kaksi couldn’t guarantee that.

“I’ll try my best, Kazutora,” she said with a little smile.

He smiled back at her before leaving, their meeting ending.  

---

Kaksi couldn’t tell if she was satisfied with their conversation or not but she would be welcoming Kazutora back into her life in ten years, that was a promise to herself. She wondered what other promises she was going to have to make and if she would be able to keep all of them.

The most urgent one was probably watching out for Mikey but in order to do that she needed to mend their relationship. Having been kept busy with school, she was struggling to find the right moment to talk to Mikey and the fact he wouldn’t answer her texts only made her more anxious. What if it was too late? What if he just didn’t want to see her again?

This would not be surprising after their last interaction. She hated that she would rather run away from her problems than confront them head-on. Still, she found some free time on a Saturday afternoon to pay a visit to Mikey.

He beat her to it, however, and it was with confusion that she had found him on his CB250T waiting for her not too far from her apartment block, a Thursday afternoon as Kaksi came back from school alone. She made her way over to him, rather nervously despite it not being visible on her features. Mikey’s deep black eyes didn’t leave her and while he realized he had missed her terribly, this was not what he came to tell her.

They greeted each other more awkwardly than two friends should, but a lot of things had changed since their last interaction.

“I wanted to apologize for what happened at the junkyard,” Mikey said, bowing in front of Kaksi. “I’m sorry I hurt you while you tried to protect Kazutora.”

Kaksi’s brown eyes widened.

“I know you didn’t mean it,” she reassured him. “It was an accident.”

“It doesn’t matter. I hit you.”

She watched as Mikey remained in the same position.

“I forgive you, Mikey,” she told him, not wanting him to feel guilty about it anymore.

He stood straight again, his face expressionless before walking back to his bike. Despite sincerely feeling awful for what he had done to Kaksi he couldn’t help remaining angry. The day Baji died, Mikey would have had to kill Kaksi if he had wanted to kill Kazutora - this was how much she loved Kazutora and not him. This was a selfish thought considering everything that had happened but that realisation hurt Mikey.

Kaksi watched him, even more, confused by his behaviour than when he had first appeared.

“Mikey, wait!” she exclaimed as he started his engine.

She quickly walked over to him, not wanting the conversation to end here.

“I’m sorry for what I said the last time we had lunch together,” she told him. “I di-”

“There’s no need for you to apologise,” he cut her off, coldly. “I know you only care about Kazutora.”

Kaksi looked at him in shock. This was far from true and it angered her to think Mikey believed that.

“This is false,” she protested. “How could you say this?”

Mikey took a moment before answering. He didn’t want to argue with her but this was probably the best way to make sure she would never talk to him again. While it was true that Mikey’s feelings had been hurt, this wasn’t the only thing that drove him to cut Kaksi out of his life so abruptly. Things were getting far too dangerous these days and even he was unsure about Toman’s future. For her safety, he needed to push her away even if it hurt both of them.

“What am I to you, Kaksi?” Mikey asked.

What was she supposed to answer? She didn’t have a clear answer other than her friend but before she could say anything, Mikey spoke again.

“I don’t want to be Kazutora’s placeholder.”

“This is not what you are, Mikey!” she replied, growing frustrated. “You were never Kazutora’s placeholder! You are my friend.”

“Then I don’t think I want to be friends anymore,” he said, the pain he felt was imperceptible at surface level but palpable at his very core.

Kaksi stood in silence and Mikey decided he didn’t have anything else to tell her. So he left, the noise from his engine filling the girl’s ears as he drove away, accelerating as if that would make it all go away. Maybe Kaksi loved him as he loved her, maybe she didn’t. No matter the answer though, Mikey knew he had to keep her safe and that could only be possible by exiting her life, as heartbreaking as it was.

Mikey didn’t drive back home, instead, he kept wandering the streets with his older brother and his childhood friend in his thoughts. What would they think of this?

There wasn’t any other solution, was there?  

---

Heartbroken over Mikey, Kaksi realised that it was one by one that she was losing her friends. The wound Baji had left her was still too fresh and she wondered if loneliness wouldn’t be better, after all. She had spent the following days visiting Kazutora while she still could but his trial had ended quickly and his sentence had already started now.

After that, it felt like everything had started to slow down. Despite spending most of her time studying, Kaksi’s days seemed endless. She didn’t talk to any remaining Toman members except for Chifuyu but she had the feeling that eventually, they would be parting ways too very soon. She assumed Takemichi had time leapt since the last time she had seen him he hadn’t even returned her smile.

She also noticed Chifuyu avoided mentioning the gang at all around her and it became obvious that something was wrong. Kaksi wondered for some time, maybe too long, if she should investigate by herself or not. Eventually, she had decided to talk to Mitsuya, one of the most reasonable people she knew and although he welcomed her warmly and didn’t hold it against her that she hadn’t talked to him in a long time, he only gave her a warning.

Like Chifuyu he looked too exhausted for a middle schooler and it appeared to her that he had matured even faster if it was even possible for someone in his predicament. All he was able to tell her was that Toman was changing and he was confused as to where all of this was heading. She tried to get some answers to her question but Mitsuya told her frankly that she would be better off without knowing.

So it was Yamagishi that she had recognised on her way to cram school that had given her more details about what she wanted to know. As expected the few rumours she had heard were true. Toman had gotten bigger and that involved more trouble, Kisaki was now one of the most influential members and all that mattered now was blood and money.

Kaksi had tried to know what all of this meant exactly but Yamagishi told her that his position didn’t allow him to disclose more information. He had given her a warning too but with new irritation, she had cut him off and left. She didn’t know what to do. Was there anything she could do? In a few months what used to be a kid's playground had turned into one of the most dangerous and feared gangs of Tokyo.

As much as Kaksi still cared for some of its members, she knew when to give up on a pointless battle but before doing that she had to try one last time to spare those she loved.

“Chifuyu, you should leave Toman.”

The boy stayed silent for a moment.

“It’s not that easy,” he told her.

“But it will be harder if you wait.”

“Don’t worry about me, Kaksi,” Chifuyu reassured.

He should know that was impossible.

“Well, I can’t do that. I know you won’t talk about it but Toman changed,” she replied, voice louder as her frustration built up. “These are not people you want to be involved with.”

“I’m aware but I know what I’m doing.”

Chifuyu remained calm but this wasn’t how he felt. He appreciated that Kaksi looked out for him but he could never leave Toman. This was Baji’s legacy and if it wasn’t him, then who would fight for its sake?

Kaksi chuckled, but it was bitterness and pain that had her speaking this time.

“This is what Baji thought too before fucking dying.”

Chifuyu clenched his fists, his patience running thin.

“What do you think you are going to achieve by yourself?” she asked, her words pointed.

Chifuyu’s jaw tensed even further.

“More than you ever will, Kaksi.”

She wasn’t hurt by those words. Chifuyu was right, all Kaksi could do was run away. But some things weren’t worth fighting for.

“I know what all this meant to Baji,” she said with teary eyes. “But he is dead, as painful as it is and you will end up joining him if you’re not careful, Chifuyu.”

This hurt but Chifuyu didn’t expect Kaksi to understand.

“Well then I hope I do,” he replied, coldly. “I’d rather die trying too hard than not trying at all.”

Kaksi chuckled again, a sardonic, almost soulless sound.

“Living then dying for someone that could never return what you gave to them looks painful.”

There was a pause as Chifuyu let those words sink in, and considered exactly how much Baji may have understood his feelings.

“If this is what you think this is then you should leave,” Chifuyu finally answered, angry and hurt.

The girl stayed quiet and decided she had said what she had to. Maybe she had been too harsh, maybe she hadn’t been harsh enough but this was as hard as she would try. She liked to think she was devoted to the ones she loved but she figured she had been wrong. If Chifuyu wanted to live for the ghost of his past then so be it, but this was something Kaksi refused to do.

Still, there was something she was afraid of and that was regrets. Walking away from Chifuyu after warning him was something but giving up without trying was something else which was why abandoning Mikey for good felt different. While he was the one who had ended their relationship, Kaksi thought that maybe she hadn’t been insistent enough. So it wouldn’t be without having him hear her out that she would put Toman behind her for good.

---

Waiting for Mikey to open the door of his home felt like the last goodbye. How stupid Kaksi felt for having told Takemichi that she would help him protect Mikey. Who was she kidding? She was never a hero. Maybe loneliness, grief and sadness killed her empathy or maybe she was just tired, she wasn’t sure.

When Mikey finally opened the door she was afraid he would immediately close it again but he didn’t; his deep black eyes studied her instead. He looked different, to say the least, while his features hadn’t changed, like Kazutora, there was something unfamiliar and slightly frightening about him now. Kaksi had anticipated this, however. She wondered if it was really a stranger she faced now?

“Can we talk, Mikey?” she asked, in a neutral voice, hiding her uneasiness.

“We have nothing to talk about.”

As straightforward as ever, Mikey was ready to close his front door but Kaksi stopped him, blocking the door with her hand and foot, begging him to listen, for once.

“I thought I was clear, last time,” he warned. “Get out of my sight.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Mikey?”

She didn’t expect an answer, she just needed to get her frustration out.

“What are you even doing? Quit pushing me away!” she barked at him. “I just want to help you.”

“I don’t need your help. I don’t need you.”

Mikey’s tone was icy and he remained unimpressed by Kaksi’s outburst. This was so unlike her, he thought still. She was always so calm and composed but he figured that too many things had been testing her patience lately, one of them being him. Her expression remained unchanged at those words and he wondered if it was defeat that he saw in her eyes.

“What a fucking joke Toman is,” she told him, a bitter smile on her lips. “A new age for delinquents? A gang that’s all for one, and one for all? What happened to that? Did it just die with Baji?”

Mikey’s eyes widened slightly but it was almost imperceptible. With one swift movement, he pushed away Kaksi’s arm and had her stumble back.

“Don’t talk about things you don’t understand,” he snapped at her. “And mind your own fucking business.”

“Fuck you,” Kaksi yelled at Mikey, using all her strength to push him away from her before walking away.

She didn’t want to cry, she was too furious to allow that. Kaksi had so many things to say but she figured it was better to run. Clearly, there was no reasoning with any of her friends.

She did what she could, she would never try again.