#houston astros cheating trash can

[brandonmcadory17]

As 2023 ends in 3 months, you have to wonder where we go from here in 2024 and many years to come in the future, especially and specifically when it comes to what the future is going to look like. From now on, I’m deciding to come to the realization that being fair in sports is no longer mandatory because I’ve been having a hard time trying to find common ground about one subject and that is called "Sports Integrity" . I’m satisfied about what the Big Ten is doing college football into making sure that cheating is never justified. Every team in the Big Ten, including the Michigan Wolverines Football Program, is and should be obligated to follow the NCAA rules regarding recruiting whether they like it or not and I’m satisfied that the NCAA is investigating Jim Harbaugh and the Michigan Wolverines and to ensure that integrity in sports is in place and that sports are clean, fair and free, but certain people from the conservative side of Instagram and the gaming side of Twitch or YouTube refuse to advocate for fairness in sports and oppose because of their fierce opposition to me going after teams who such as the Houston Astros and the Michigan Wolverines football program, because they just simply hate accountability because of me and personally accusing me of talking trash when all I’m is stating what certain sports teams have done. Am I disappointed about the entire display? Yes, but am I even surprised about it? No because those are the types of people that are trying to incentivize teams cheating and that other teams who play the right way to never win a conference championships based off of common sense outcomes ever again. I can see a scenario when the NCAA is creating a phishing expedition, but when certain people disrespect the fuck out of me and everything turns out to be exactly the opposite of a phishing expedition by other programs and teams detailing the cheating that occur, that’s when I don’t have sympathy for those who cross the line and for it’s likely going to be a serious problem for college programs who are caught cheating, so there’s no reason for certain people on social media to just get pissed off at me because of sports that clearly has absolutely nothing to do with them whatsoever and there’s no reason for God to keep listening to people who disrespect and ignore me when college sports have absolutely nothing to do with them and they clearly could have and should have sat that one out. Jim Harbaugh and the Michigan Wolverines football program are currently being investigated by the NCAA because of again another cheating scandal and Michigan clearly has an integrity problem, so I’m giving a slide edge to Michigan State vs. Michigan because at the end of the day Michigan failed to integrity in place when all they want to do is cheat and there has to be serious consequences for cheating, which is why sending and analyst for recruiting from other opponents and to spy on them is outrageous. Also, I’m going to start cutting certain people from social media off and immediately trying to as civil as I possibly can, but I have a right to tell certain people from social media to grow the fuck up because all they do is incentivize cheating like a 3 year old bitch when sports clearly has nothing to do with them, so from now on I’m holding those people accountable and responsible because at the end of the day, it’s the choices that they make that will ultimately backfired on them.

[amazingbaseball44]

Jomboy Video: Astros: Unveiling the Scandal That Rocked Baseball

The Astros' Jomboy video is really a crucial piece of evidence that exposed the infamous sign stealing scandal which reverberated all through Major League Baseball (MLB). The Houston Astros' reputation was harmed, the integrity of the game questioned and fans as well as players alike demanded justice due to this scandal. This article will discuss the Jomboy video by the Astros, its effect on the game and also the repercussions for the Astros along with key players involved. Jomboy's Astros trash can breakdown is hot.

Background:

The World Series was won by the Houston Astros, who are recognized for their exceptional performances, throughout the 2017 MLB season. The Athletic published an astonishing report in November 2019 revealing that The Astros had put into action a sophisticated method of sign - stealing within their championship-winning season of that year. Jomboy, a well - known baseball analyst, created the Astros 'Jomboy video that helped expose the misconduct.

The Jomboy Video:

Jomboy, famous for his thorough analysis as well as breakdowns of baseball moments, released a video on November 12, 2019, titled "Astros use a camera, whistles to steal signs." In this particular video, he dissected an important moment from Game 5 of the 2017 American League Championship Series (ALCS) between the Astros as well as the New York Yankees. The Astros utilized a live feed camera at center field in the video clip and indicated stolen signs to batters by pounding on a garbage can.

Analyses as well as Revelations:

Jomboy's video meticulously examined the sequence of events, concentrating on the suspicious banging sounds that happened right before certain pitches. Jomboy created links between the audio from several games and found a deliberate Astros sign-stealing scheme. The video rapidly became viral, getting the interest of fans, MLB officials, and also the broader media.

Impact on Baseball:

The Jomboy video of the Astros triggered a storm of allegations, discussions as well as inquiries. It triggered serious concerns regarding the fairness of the game and the effect of technology in granting an unfair advantage. Baseball enthusiasts and players from other teams voiced outrage at the Astros' unethical practices, feeling cheated by their tainted success. The present rules as well as regulations of MLB were questioned because of the scandal when it comes to their effectiveness in stopping such misconduct.

Consequences as well as Fallout:

The MLB launched a thorough probe into the sign stealing allegations adhering to the Astros' Jomboy video. The Astros were found to be guilty and the team and other key individuals experienced significant consequences based on the findings. Rob Manfred, the commissioner of MLB, imposed serious fines, including a USD five million penalty, forfeiture of picks in the draft and suspension of Astros general managers Jeff Luhnow and A.J Hinch.

Furthermore, the Astros ownership fired both Luhnow & Hinch exclusively because of the Jomboy video. The Astros' reputation was completely damaged by the scandal, as other players and fans from other teams consistently booed as well as criticised them throughout the 2020 season.

The conclusion:

The Astros' Jomboy video played a crucial part in uncovering the dishonest sign - stealing methods of the Houston Astros throughout their championship winning 2017 season. The video uncovered an alarming era of baseball history, testing the limits of the game and compelling MLB to act decisively. The effects of the scandal, which resulted in suspensions, fines along with a tarnished reputation for the Astros, serve as a clear reminder of the significance of fair play and honesty in American sport.

[theblackarticle]

#BlackArticle – Stephen A. continues call for Astros, Red Sox to give back World Series trophies | Outside the Lines Follow on blackarticle.com! #BlackArticle X #ESPN

[blueexperttaco]

Houston, you're always cursing.FA's Biggest Selling Activity

Trevor Bauer (29, Cincinnati Reds), who took the lead in stealing autographs, made a surprise appearance at 다파벳 가입the Houston Astros' home stadium. Bauer posted a photo of his flight ticket from Las Vegas to Houston on Sunday (Korean time). He then posted a photo of his face against the backdrop of Minute Made Park at Houston's home stadium, writing "Home Astros." "Bauer has a history of jabbing in Houston, but he is willing to sign an FA contract 다파벳 우회주소with them," said the U.S.-based Larry Brown Sports. Bauer says he can sign with any team, including Houston. Bauer's agent, Rachel Luba, explained that she would not discriminate between the terms and conditions of the contract with the team by saying, "We are considering all types of contracts." If it's a "monstrous" Bauer who doesn't know where it's going to go, it doesn't Bauer was angrier than anyone else after the whole story of Houston's 2017 signature theft was revealed in January. When it turned out to be true that he had suspected Houston's tricks since his time with 다파벳 입금the Cleveland Indians, he took the lead in criticizing the public and became a sniper. In an exhibition game in March, he showed the inside of the glove or shook it, telling the opponent the type of ball and mocking the player for stealing autographs. In April, he posted a photo of himself wearing an Astros uniform during his Little Baseball days and wrote, "When I don't cheat." Referring to the trash can in 다파벳 출금the background of the photo, he sarcastically delivered Houston's signature by tapping the trash can behind the dugout. At the Chicago White Sox match on September 20, he appeared in a game wearing a spike with a trash can on it. Although he has shown hostility toward Houston more than anyone else, he has left all possibilities open in the FA market. A sudden visit to Houston's home stadium is also a possible protrusion because it is a weird Bauer. Meanwhile, Bauer has pitched 73 innings in 11 games this season with five wins, four losses, an ERA of 1.73 and 100 strikeouts, making him one of the top candidates for the National League Cy Young Award. 다파벳 카지노While his future course of action is drawing attention as the biggest FA market pitcher, he is actively engaged in business activities by mentioning various teams through SNS.

[twins2994]

Houston Astros-Minnesota Twins Series Preview

 9.28.20-Zack Greinke RHP (3-3) 4.03 ERA Vs. Kenta Maeda RHP (6-1) 2.70 ERA

9.29.20-TBA Vs. Jose Berrios RHP (5-4) 4.00 ERA

9.30.20-TBA Vs. Michael Pineda RHP (2-0) 3.38 ERA

The Astros At A Glance- The Houston Astros got a ton of help when MLB announced that fans would not be in attendance for games this season. The whole Trash Can cheating scandal would have been interesting to watch throughout the year. Michael Brantley was the most consistent hitter on the team. He hit .300 with five homers and twenty-two RBI’s. George Springer smacked a team-high fourteen home runs. Kyle Tucker emerged on the scene and had a team-high 42 RBI’s. Jose Altuve hit just .219 on the season. Alex Bregman hit just six homers and twenty-two RBI’s. The Astros lost a ton of pitching from their World Series team in the form of Justin Verlander, Gerrit Cole. Even guys like Roberto Osuna and Chris Devinski only threw a handful of innings. Zack Greinke had a solid year and some youngsters came around like Framber Valdez, Lance McCullers, Cristian Javier, and Jose Urquidy. Former Twin Ryan Pressly became the closer when Roberto Osuna went down. He has locked down twelve saves with a 3.43 ERA. Lefty Blake Taylor and righty Enoli Paredes became good options out of the bullpen. The Astros picked up Brooks Raley, who’s been good from the left side. Who knows how all these young Astros arms will fare come playoff time?

The Twins At A Glance- The Minnesota Twins are 2020 American League Central Division Champs after the White Sox collapsed in the final week of the regular season. The Sox could have easily won the division, but are now the seventh seed in the postseason. Nelson Cruz was the MVP of the Twins in this shortened season. He hit .303 with sixteen homers and 33 RBI’s. The team hopes to get Byron Buxton back from concussion symptoms. It sounds like he was out shagging flyballs in the workout on Monday and felt a lot better. Josh Donaldson tested his calf by taking groundballs on the workout day. He also had some good rounds of batting practice. The Twins hit .242 as a team and smacked 91 home runs in 60 games. Kenta Maeda was the Twins best pitcher this year. He should get Cy Young votes and will get the nod in Game 1. I think a lot of his success is contributed to his release point. His fastball, slider, and splitter are all released at the same angle and it’s tough for hitters to pick up the ball. Jose Berrios struggled at times, but was still sharp. Michael Pineda looked good in just five starts. Rich Hill got better as the year went on. Taylor Rogers and Sergio Romo both finished the year with 4.05 ERA’s. Both guys were good with a few bad outings mixed in. Trevor May and Tyler Duffey still remain sixth and seventh inning options. Matt Wisler had a fantastic year with a 1.07 ERA in 25 1/3 innings. Caleb Thielbar gave the Twins a lefty option with a 2.25 ERA. 

What To Watch For-  The Twins went (4-3) against the Astros in 2019. They won three out of four at Target Field and lost two out of three at Minute Maid Park. The Twins are (12-11) all-time against the Astros at Target Field. Zack Greinke is (5-9) with a 4.64 ERA in 24 career games against the Twins. He owns a 5.14 ERA in seven games at Target Field. Kenta Maeda went 5 1/3 innings and allowed five runs in his only regular season outing against the Astros. He pitched in four games of the 2017 World Series and threw 5 2/3 innings giving up one run on five hits. Jose Altuve hit a homer off him in Game 5. Kenta Maeda owns a 3.31 ERA in 32 2/3 postseason innings. Jose Berrios is (2-3) with a 6.43 ERA in five starts against the Astros. He has allowed six runs in seven playoff innings. Michael Pineda is (3-4) with a 5.03 ERA in nine starts against the Astros. He never pitched in the postseason despite spending four seasons with the Yankees. The Twins have lost sixteen consecutive playoff games. Their last postseason win was in Game 1 of the 2004 ALDS in the Bronx. The Twins had a lead in Game 2, but blew that and the streak started. The Astros have been to the playoffs in five of the last six years. They won the World Series in 2017, lost the ALCS in 2018, and lost in the World Series last year. This is an experienced bunch with a lot of young pitching after Zack Greinke. It should be a fun series at Target Field. I wish I could be there to experience postseason baseball again. 

-Chris Kreibich-

[michaelcosio]

Dec 16, 2019

The Houston Astros sign stealing scandal is the biggest story of the 2019-20 MLB offseason. It is probably the biggest case of MLB sign stealing in history. The Ken Rosenthal Astros story broke things open, but don't forget his co-author Evan Drellich! This huge MLB cheating will not be going away any time soon. Not with all the Astros cheating compilation s floating around. We'll talk about the 2017 Astros cheating, the 2017 Astros sign stealing, Mike Fiers Astros, and Danny Farquhar Astros, who noticed the Astros trash can banging. We also talk about the unknown. Did the Astros cheat the World Series? Tough to say. This video features a guest appearance from Jomboy of Jomboy Media. His Astros cheating breakdown has received over 6.3 million views!  It all culminates into one of the most ambitious episodes of Baseball Bits (a Foolish Baseball production) yet. I hope you all enjoy it!

from Foolish Baseball

[did-the-astros-cheat-cq]

did the astros cheat work GI3!

💾 ►►► DOWNLOAD FILE 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 The Houston Astros' Cheating Scandal: Sign Stealing, Buzzer Intrigue and Tainted Pennants The team fired its manager, A.J. Hinch, and general. Two years later, The Athletic's Ken Rosenthal and Evan Drellich published an investigation, chronicling the Houston Astros' use of cameras. The Astros were and still are one of most talented teams in the league. They certainly did not have to cheat to win. But cheating did give them an advantage. In his first public comments on the matter, former Astros outfielder Carlos Beltrán admitted that what the team did during its 9 Sharon Pruitt-Young. This will mark the Astros' third appearance in the World Series in 5 years. They won the whole shebang in when they defeated the Los Angeles Dodgers, but that win has since been mired in controversy. In , an investigation found that the Astros had engaged in sign-stealing in and a portion of The scheme famously involved banging a trash can with a bat to communicate upcoming pitches. But despite the conclusion that the majority of position players in participated in the sign-stealing debacle, no players were suspended, much to the anger of some in the sports world. It's been a dark cloud over the franchise in recent years, and the repercussions the team faced — or, if you ask some, the lack thereof — continue to be a hot topic of debate for sports fans. We proved that tonight and we're proud of the guys. And they're great players, and great players win championships. One user shared a gif that reads, "Once a cheater, always a cheater. But Astros fans are standing behind their team. As one fan wrote on Twitter, "The haters fuel the astros, so keep on hatin'. The haters fuel the astros , so keep on hatin', 'Stros don't care ForTheH! Accessibility links Skip to main content Keyboard shortcuts for audio player. NPR Shop. Astros head to World Series, renewing cheating scandal debate Officials found that the Astros were sign-stealing in and partly in , but team officials say their past is firmly behind them. Houston Astros head to World Series, just a few years after their cheating scandal. Facebook Twitter Flipboard Email. October 23, PM ET. Enlarge this image.

[newsfact]

Astros’ cheating scandal, explained: How Houston’s 2017 sign-stealing scheme shook up MLB

The Astros are back in the World Series for the third time in five years.

Though several years removed from the cheating scandal that tarnished its first title win in 2017, Houston has been unable to escape the shadow of the scandal. Opposing fans bring inflatable trash cans to games and consistently refer to the Astros as cheaters, as the memory of the 2017 run still lingers.

Here’s a complete look back at the Astros’ cheating scandal, from when it was first reported to how long it lasted to the fallout from MLB’s investigation.

MORE: Complete Astros cheating scandal timeline

How did the Astros cheat?

The Astros’ cheating scandal began early in 2017. According to the investigation report from MLB, Houston employees in the video room used game feed from the center field camera to decode and relay the signs of opposing teams to any Astros’ baserunners on second base.

The means of relaying the signs often varied. With the runner on second, the team would have a go-between from the video room and the dugout, and personnel in the dugout would send the signal out to the runner on second, who would then signal to the batter which pitch was coming. Bench coach Alex Cora would also call the replay review room to hear the sign information and, sometimes, the replay review room would send a text to a smart watch or stored phone in the dugout to communicate the signs.

However, the report stated the scandal went further. Designated hitter Carlos Beltran and several other players devised a plan to improve the sign-stealing. Cora set up a monitor that displayed the center field camera feed directly outside the dugout, and a player would watch it and read what signs were coming. The team would then bang on a trash can to signal which pitch was coming to the batter. The trash can only came into play after trying out clapping, whistling and yelling.

MORE: How Red Sox manager Alex Cora was involved in the Astros’ sign-stealing scandal

The Red Sox were caught in a similar incident in September 2017, and the commissioner’s office sent out a message warning teams not to use replay equipment to steal signs or convey information to teams. The warning noted that general and field managers would be held responsible for the actions of teams if caught. The report stated that the Astros continued to use their sign-stealing strategy throughout the 2017 season and postseason.

While the trash can banging stopped in 2018, the report stated that the Astros still had the replay review room convey messages to runners on second, but eventually stopped as players decided it was no longer effective. The report said the Astros did not violate any MLB policy during the 2018 postseason, 2019 regular season or postseason.

Who was involved in the scheme?

The report found that the only ones directly involved with executive the scandal were the players, lower-level baseball operation employees and Cora.

As a result of the warning to teams stating that the manager and general manager would be held accountable for any illegal use of technology in the game, the players involved were not disciplined. However, the report stated most position players on the team either received signals or helped decode the signs. The players told investigators that if A.J. Hinch, the manager, had asked them to stop, they would have. The report said “virtually all of the Astros’ players had some involvement or knowledge of the scheme.”

MORE: Fans might not be happy about Red Sox sign-stealing scandal, but MLB got what it wanted

It was found that Hinch was not involved in the scheme and did not support the scandal because he felt it was both wrong and distracting, but he also told investigators that he did not try to stop it nor tell the players or Cora that he did not approve of it. Cora was found to have helped develop the scheme both to use the replay review room to transmit signs to second and to use the banging scheme. 

The report stated that Astros general manager and president of baseball operations Jeff Luhnow received several emails that at least mentioned the use of the replay review room, though he denied knowledge of the efforts to cheat. However, the report said he there is some evidence he had at least some knowledge, but might not have given it much attention.

What alerted MLB to the scandal?

MLB did not begin its investigation into the Astros until The Athletic’s Ken Rosenthal and Evan Drellich broke the story in November 2019 that the team stole signs. The key whistleblower in the situation was former Astros pitcher Mike Fiers, who signed with the Tigers before he was traded to the AL West rival Athletics. 

“That’s not playing the game the right way,” Fiers told The Athletic. “They were advanced and willing to go above and beyond to win.”

Teams had reportedly already been on alert about the Astros by the time the report came out. The first known account of an opposing player learning about the scandal came in September 2017 when White Sox reliever Danny Farquhar noticed the trash-can banging, according to The Athletic.

MORE: Dallas Keuchel apologizes for Astros sign-stealing scandal, says Mike Fiers broke ‘clubhouse rule’

Major League Baseball responded to The Athletic’s report by expanding its investigation into the Astros, which had initially been started only to investigate the actions of former executive Brandon Taubman. Taubman made inappropriate comments to female reporters after Houston won the 2019 AL Pennant regarding the team’s signing of Roberto Osuna, who had been suspended by MLB for violating the league’s domestic violence policies.

Yahoo Sports’ Jeff Passan reported that in October 2018, the Indians and Red Sox became concerned that the Astros were stealing signs. That 2018 report was also the first mention of teams expressing concern that Houston was using a trash can to signal signs, with the Dodgers reportedly believing they cheated in the World Series.

Punishment for the Astros

In Manfred’s report, he said the conduct of the Astros warranted “significant discipline.” He said even though it was impossible to say if the conduct changed the outcome of any games, “the perception of some that it did causes significant harm to the game.”

As a team, the Astros lost first- and second-round picks in both the 2020 and 2021 drafts, or if the team loses any of the picks due to compensation in signing a free agent, the team would forfeit the next applicable pick. So if the Astros lost their 2021 first round pick by signing a free agent, they would then be stripped over their 2022 first round selection. The team was also fined $5 million, which was the maximum fine eligible.

MORE: Explaining Astros sign-stealing scandal, punishment after MLB drops hammer on Houston

Luhnow was suspended without pay in January 2020 through the end of the World Series that year. He was not allowed to work for the team or any other team during that time, and he could not be present during at any of the club’s facilities. Any further infractions made by him would result in being placed on the permanently ineligible list. The exact same punishment was handed to Hinch. Both Luhnow and Hinch were fired by the Astros. Hinch has since returned to become the manager of the Tigers.

Cora, who became the Red Sox manager after the World Series win, was not disciplined at the time as MLB awaited the findings of the cheating scandal into the Red Sox. He, too, was ultimately suspended for the entirety of the 2020 season, though he ultimately returned to Boston in 2021.

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[blogfernsonthayassslove]

Why some fans say the Braves vs. Astros World Series is a matchup of good vs. evil

Youlikebet The World Series starts tonight with Game 1 in Houston, where the Astros will face off against the Atlanta Braves.The stakes are high for fans of each team. The Braves haven't gotten this far since 1999, while the Astros have been in the series three of the past five years — including in 2017, when they cheated using an illegal, sign-stealing, trash can-banging system to call pitches.The Astros have looked to put the scandal behind them, but many fans outside of Houston still see them as the bad guys."Many are painting this as good versus evil on the baseball diamond," NPR sports correspondent Tom Goldman told Morning Edition.It's not entirely black and whiteThe Astros faced punishment for the cheating scandal last year, even though they're still paying for it with a lot of fans.Meanwhile, the Braves have an appealing underdog story: They overcame injuries to some of their best players this season. Plus two faces of the franchise — manager Brian Snitker and first baseman Freddie Freeman — are team lifers. "We like loyalty in sports," as Goldman put it.On the other hand, some Braves fans still do the "tomahawk chop" arm gesture and chant, which are increasingly considered both offensive and outdated. Teams from the pro leagues to high school athletics are moving away from derogatory slogans and this particular expression of enthusiasm.

[letsjanukhan]

Live Update: Astros' cheating scandal, explained: How Houston's 2017 sign-stealing scheme shook up MLB

Live Update: Astros’ cheating scandal, explained: How Houston’s 2017 sign-stealing scheme shook up MLB

The Astros are back in the World Series for the third time in five years. Though several years removed from the cheating scandal that tarnished its first title win in 2017, Houston has been unable to escape the shadow of the scandal. Opposing fans bring inflatable trash cans to games and consistently refer to the Astros as cheaters, as the memory of the 2017 run still lingers. Here’s a complete…

[junker-town]

Astros and Athletics brawl after Ramón Laureano hit with pitch

As the A’s swept the Astros, benches cleared after Houston hit an Oakland better for the fifth time in the series.

The Houston Astros and Oakland Athletics got into a benches-clearing brawl in the bottom of the seventh inning on Sunday after outfielder Ramón Laureano was hit by a pitch for the second time in the game.

As Oakland was on its way to way to a three-game sweep over Houston, Astros pitcher Humberto Castellanos plunked Laureano with a breaking ball. The two exchanged words during a long walk to first base until Laureano charged at the Houston dugout after being provoked by Astros hitting coach Alex Cintrón. That led to both benches clearing in an ugly scene that is sure to draw suspensions from MLB.

You can watch the entire video here:

Both the Astros and Athletics benches clear after Laureano was hit by a pitch pic.twitter.com/vu9oJORSdk

— Dillard Barnhart (@BarnHasSpoken) August 9, 2020

Oakland was talking a ton of trash to Houston on their way to the sweep. The Astros had already hit five A’s batters during the series, while no Houston players were hit.

This is the Astros’ second benches-clearing brawl of the year. The first one against the Dodgers drew an eight-game suspension for LA pitcher Joe Kelly. Commissioner Rob Manfred doesn’t want opposing teams to retaliate against the Astros following the cheating scandal that consumed the sport earlier this year. Fans around the country have been fed up with how much protection MLB is providing Houston.

Astros getting their ass kicked, throw at Ramon for second time today AND then their bench coach talks shit to him. I look forward to manfred doing nothing to them and randomly suspending more a's than just Ramon

— sam esfandiari (@samesfandiari) August 9, 2020

It will be unfortunate if Oakland is hit with significant suspensions because they might be the hottest team in baseball right now. Laureano has been a big part of that, entering the game with a .938 OPS on the short season. How about some punishment for Cintron, who was yelling at Laureano to come get him?

Opposing teams having beef with the Astros is going to be a storyline all season long.

[racingtoaredlight]

RTARL Previews Whatever The 2020 MLB Season Is

Against all odds stemming from a global pandemic and bitter labor negotiations, the Major League Baseball season begins this week. Who better to preview what to expect from all 30 clubs than friend of the blog, Dead Ted Williams. Take it away, Mr. Ballgame.

Hey folks, hope everyone’s keeping cool out there (that’s just a little frozen head humor). Whatever, fuck you. Here’s how this two pump chump of a season is going to play out, and if you don’t believe me you’re welcome to suck my whole ass and hope some Cracker Jack pops out.

AMERICAN LEAGUE

East

1. Tampa Bay Rays - This team’s been preparing for pandemic payrolls since its inception. With the math on prorated pay for 60 games I think Yonny Chirinos has to pay them two grand to play this season.

2. New York Yankees (Wild Card) - The only team who could make us appreciate the Astros doing whatever it took to get them out of our lives.

3. Boston Red Sox - With no fans in the stands Fenway Park is guaranteed to have zero racial slurs flung at Black ballplayers for the first time since Larry Doby entered the AL. Hang a banner!

4. [City Name Here] Blue Jays - If this team was worth a shit Canada would have welcomed them and their American diseases in but as it stands with their current makeup, what’s the point.

5. Baltimore Orioles - Chris Davis has been missing for three days, reportedly he’s been licking public benches hoping for the positive COVID test that will keep him from still setting a season strikeout record in just 60 games.

Central

1. Minnesota Twins - The blessings are raining down already on this season with the geographic schedules meaning no regular season games with the Yankees against whom they’re 0 for their last 78.

2. Chicago White Sox (Wild Card) - Bets are coming in hot and heavy on the young and exciting Sox which means expect another economic crash when that fizzles away like so, so many Sox seasons.

3. Cleveland Indians - The stars have aligned for them to deal away Francisco Lindor for pennies on the dollar in a season where they won’t have to hear it from fans at the ballpark.

4. Kansas City Royals - No.

5. Detroit Tigers - Make it stop.

West

1. Oakland Athletics - I already used up all my material about cheap ass franchises built for this moment who, because God has abandoned these lands, will be rewarded for their austerity by winning ballgames.

2. Houston Astros - On the plus side they won’t have to endure venomous fans on the road but expect their run production to drop by about 200, tougher to cheat when the trash can banging echoes throughout an empty ballpark.

3. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim - I wasn’t sure what to do with them since Mike Trout’s expressed concerns about playing due to having a pregnant wife. Balderdash, when I played you didn’t miss games or worry about the births of children since there was only a 1 in 3 chance they’d survive anyway. No one needs to be on hand for that, that’s time better spent in the batting cage.

4. Texas Rangers - What’s left to say about the Rangers that hasn’t already been said about their Costco ass ballpark, looks real bad.

5. Seattle Mariners - If you can name three Mariners you’ll receive a vial of the secret vaccine Bill Gates has in his basement, open your third eye (I can’t open any eyes because they’re frozen shut, but you get the idea).

NATIONAL LEAGUE

East

1. Atlanta Braves - Time will tell if these nobs will be able to perform without their sunburnt hillfolk fans firing them up by swinging foam tomahawks.

2. New York Mets (Wild Card) - If there’s a way for a pitcher to just get COVID in his elbow I trust a Met to find it.

3. Washington Nationals - I’m catching word these are the defending champions, that can’t be right.

4. Philadelphia Phillies - Safest clubhouse in MLB, viruses don’t enjoy spending time around Bryce Harper either.

5. Miami Marlins - Looks like they’re still around, that’s super.

Central

1 Cincinnati Reds - Something stupid has to happen in a 60 game season which is an affront to God, might as well take place in this division which turned its back on the Almighty once the Cubs started contending in it again.

2. Milwaukee Brewers (Wild Card) - A season where starting pitchers won’t be ready to go 6 innings and teams are allowed to carry extra pitchers? Craig Counsell hasn’t been this horny since he found a group that fetishizes men who look like ventriloquist dummies who came to life.

3. St. Louis Cardinals - 2020 has taken so much from us, can we at least get a bad Cardinal team in return?

4. Chicago Cubs - Teddydamus sees the Cubs playing well early before the Ricketts start selling off their players for cash to be diverted to the Trump campaign. On the plus side this season will be the least piss-soaked Wrigley Field’s ever been.

5. Pittsburgh Pirates - I discovered in the middle of doing this that the reports of the Blue Jays playing at PNC Park is now in doubt and my killer zinger about the Buccos not even being the best team in their ballpark has been shot to shit. The National League really is where joy goes to die.

West

1. Los Angeles Dodgers - Caught a couple pitches of their exhibition game the other night, there are cardboard cutouts of some fans in the stands but none of Mary Hart behind home plate. I hope there’s another spectacular flameout on the way from them, that goddess deserved better.

2. Arizona Diamondbacks - I had to look up who finished second in the division last year and it was them by 21 games. I have faith these guys can pull that off again even in a 60 game sprint (sprinting for the Dodgers I should say, the rest of these mopes are more wheezing and calling their moms halfway through the race to come pick them up).

3-5. You could form a combined team of Giants, Padres and Rockies and still finish 10 back of LA.

WORLD SERIES WINNER

Guys let’s just be happy if they’re still playing ball come October. Stay safe out there and just remember, your Uncle Teddy was better than all these scabs.

[newsfact]

Astros' cheating scandal, explained: How Houston's 2017 sign-stealing scheme shook up MLB

Astros’ cheating scandal, explained: How Houston’s 2017 sign-stealing scheme shook up MLB

The Astros are back in the World Series for the third time in five years. Though several years removed from the cheating scandal that tarnished its first title win in 2017, Houston has been unable to escape the shadow of the scandal. Opposing fans bring inflatable trash cans to games and consistently refer to the Astros as cheaters, as the memory of the 2017 run still lingers. Here’s a complete…

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Garbage Cans Houston cheating scandal. Astros garbage trash can baseball Pullover Hoodie

Garbage Cans Houston cheating scandal. Astros garbage trash can baseball Pullover Hoodie

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[usports]

Brewery Takes Jabs At Houston Astros Cheating Scandal With ‘Trash Can Banger’ Beer

[i-news-day]

Cheaters? Trash-can talk? Astros' fans can take it

WEST PALM BEACH — Think Houston Astros players are in for a long season of heckling and trash-can talk in the wake of their cheating scandal? Try being a loyal Houston Astros fan. Kelly Lee of Houston was waiting in line to watch Astros workouts at the ... source https://www.google.com/url?rct=j&sa=t&url=https://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/20200219/cheaters-trash-can-talk-astros-fans-can-take-it&ct=ga&cd=CAIyHzhmNjA0ZmY0ZDA2NmEyMjM6Y29tLmJyOmVuOlVTOlI&usg=AFQjCNG6X6a6sojGJr6Ah4bM4N4PhTgehA via Blogger https://ift.tt/2HDBAZl