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lovelyjj · 9 months

Note

I love your writing. I’m not sure if this request is to angsty but I was thinking about jj and a reader who got diagnosed with cancer but can’t afford chemo, and she only has a small amount of time left but wants jj to move on without her. With the prompts ‘you need to move on’ ‘don’t leave me’ and ‘I can’t lose you’? It’s ok if you can’t do this one.

No Goodbye

jj maybank x reader

wc: 2.8k

| angst |

(not my gif)

The day was gloomy, the clouds were a dark kind of grey casting a darkness on the land. The sun was dipping below the horizon letting only the last remaining light being seen.

JJ was in the doctors office a nervous wreck. He was worried about the results of the biopsy. If it was good news the doctor would of called but they asked you to come in person to discuss the results.

JJ was practically pulling out his hair. He didn’t know what to think. All he knew was that his girl was in there and she might be getting life altering news. All JJ wanted to do was be there for you.

JJ’s breath hitched in his throat when he saw you walk out. You looked like you have been crying but you didn’t want JJ to see that. You did your best to try and hide it. You stopped crying and wiped your face so you were able to walk out looking some what decent.

Looking at JJ who was waiting for you made your stomach drop. You were going to have to tell him the news. Your heart throbbed because you were going to break his heart, which was the last thing you ever wanted to do.

You made your way down the hall and into the waiting room. JJ smiled at you hoping that by some chance there was good news. You gave him a weak smile in return but you didn’t want to give him false hope.

JJ waited for you to speak. You took a deep breath mentally preparing yourself for the conversation your about to have.

“I have Leukemia, blood cancer,” you stated sadly.

“What?” JJ stood there mouth agape with his whole world coming crashing down.

“The cancer is in my blood.”

“Is it treatable?” JJ asked.

“Yes but i can’t afford it.”

“So what happens now?”

“Well they said I could live for many years without treatment.”

JJ was about to break. He couldn’t even begin to think about you being gone. He couldn’t do it. He wouldn’t let his mind go there. The thought of loosing you made him go insane.

JJ sucked in his tears and said, “That’s a pretty good chance.”

“Yeah. I’m sure I’ll beat the odds.”

Your relationship with JJ was very special. The two of you loved each other very much. The love you shared could move mountains. You were always together. You had a closeness like no other. JJ always showed you compassion.

Now that you had cancer your relationship only improved. JJ was very attentive to your needs and he supported you a hundred percent. He took care of you and made sure you were as comfortable as you could be.

Despite having cancer you had a positive attitude. You wanted to remain strong for JJ.

The two of you decided to take a vacation. A small one just the two you. You wanted to get away and take your mind off things. The doctors said it was ok because you weren’t going far.

You took a road trip to Myrtle Beach. It was about a 2 hour drive from Charleston. JJ wanted to treat you to something nice because you deserved it.

When you arrived at the hotel you were excited. The room was big and fancy and you were pleased.

“This is beautiful,” you commented.

“Yeah it is,” JJ replied.

“Thank you for bringing me here.”

“It’s no problem baby.”

“Are you tired? We could take a nap,” JJ offered.

“Yeah maybe.”

You and JJ decided to take a nap to rejuvenate. Afterwards you would be ready to explore. JJ held you close, cuddling you and wrapping his arms around you. You were situated under his chin, face in his chest and legs tangled together.

When you woke up you felt refreshed. You gave JJ a kiss on his cheek to wake him up. He groggily grumbled something and tightened his hold on you. You nudged your nose with his and smiled.

“Good morning sleepy baby,” you spoke.

“Good morning pretty baby,” JJ responded.

“We should get up and do something,” you suggested.

“5 more minutes,” JJ mumbled.

Of course you granted his wish, agreeing to stay in bed a little longer, and bask in each other’s presence.

You decided to go on your phone and look up attractions. You found out there was an Aquarium and a shopping mall.

“Would you want to go to an Aquarium?” You asked JJ.

“Yeah I’d love to,” JJ replied.

The two of you left your hotel and made your way to the Aquarium. It was a big place full of all kinds of sea creatures.

“Look at the sting rays,” you pointed.

“Woah those are sick!” JJ expressed.

You and JJ walked around the aquarium hand in hand looking at all there was to see.

“Are you having fun?” you asked.

“Yes i’m having a blast, but i usually always have a blast when I’m with you.”

“Your sweet,” you smiled.

“How you feeling?” JJ questioned. He couldn’t help but worry about you. He only wanted to keep you safe and healthy.

“I’m great,” you said truthfully.

“Good.”

There was a seating area that looked over a glass filled with fish. The two of you decided to sit down and gaze at the sea creatures.

JJ threw his arm around your waist pulling you close. You rested your head on his shoulder, breathing in his scent, letting it wash over you and calm you down.

The aquarium was beautiful and you were glad you decided to go.

“You know I fall more and more in love with you every day.” JJ hummed.

“Your so sweet, I love you to the moon and back.” You smiled.

JJ kissed the top of your head. The two of you looked at all the fishes in awe.

Then you got up and walked some more all around the aquarium until you saw every inch of every attraction.

When you got back to the hotel you were both tired. You decided to lay down together on the hotel bed. JJ was playing with your hair looking at you lovingly.

“Jayj?”

“Yes, sweetheart?” JJ replied.

“Can you promise me something?”

“Maybe, what is it?” JJ asked.

“When I’m gone I want you to spread my ashes in the ocean,” you looked at JJ sincerely.

“Y/n. Don’t you dare talk like that,” JJ hissed.

“What? I’m just planning ahead,” you shrugged.

“You shouldn’t be planning just yet, but your gonna make it, I know it,” JJ insisted.

“You can’t know that for sure,” you countered.

“Maybe, but I believe in you,” JJ smiled.

“JJ…”

“What?“

“I don’t want to give you false hope,” you expressed.

“Your not,” JJ replied.

“Listen JJ, I’m just trying to save you from major grief,” you stated.

“I don’t need saving I’m in it for the long haul,” JJ explained.

You sighed, deciding that you didn’t want to argue with him, so you placed a kiss on his cheek and turned around in his hold and went to bed.

The next day the two of you went shopping at the mall. The day after that you watched the sunset together at the beach. Next you took a walk on one of the golf courses. Eventually your trip came to a end and you had to go back home.

The two of you weren’t that excited to return back to reality. The vacation was much needed and gave you a nice escape from the everyday pressures. You did however have to go back to worrying about your cancer which both of you dreaded.

When you arrived home, JJ made it his mission to make sure you get to do everything life has to offer. And you got to because of him.

——————

You were at the pier after you guys got some ice cream. The weather outside was perfect. It was a nice day to walk along the pier.

“Wanna try mine?” you asked.

JJ opened his mouth you fed it to him.

“Yummy!”

After you were done with your ice cream JJ started chasing you. You giggled as you ran away from him. When he caught you he scooped you up and spun you around.

JJ set you down and you looked at him lovingly. JJ was your whole world and more. He was your safe place and number one person. He was your rock and shoulder to cry on. Without him you don’t know what you would do with yourself.

“Jayj, tell me a secret,” you asked.

“What kind of secret?” he responded.

“Any secret,” you replied.

“Ok. I’m madly in love with you.”

You couldn’t help the big smile that took over your face. “No I mean a real secret.”

“Hm ok let’s see. One time at school I went to the bathroom to smoke a joint and when I came back the teacher asked if i was high. I told her yes and then she sent me to the principals office. Instead of going there I walked home.” JJ finished his story smiling.

“Are you for real? That’s hilarious!”

“Now you got to tell me one,” JJ smirked.

“Ok,” you took a deep breath, “I’m afraid of sharks.”

“Wait seriously?!” JJ asked.

“Yep. That’s why when we go surfing I get really scared and just watch instead.”

“Oh my god, i’m so sorry,” JJ apologized

“No don’t be I enjoy watching you surf, brings me peace.” you replied calmly.

“I can’t believe I didn’t know that,” JJ laughed.

“Well now you know,” you gave him a small smile.

“You want to know what else i’m afraid off,” you began.

“What?”

“Dying.”

“Oh baby. That’s not gonna happen any time soon,” JJ comforted.

“You never know,” you voiced nervously.

“Maybe I don’t know but i’m gonna be with you every step of the way,” JJ concluded.

“Thank you,” you gave JJ a hug.

——————

Then what JJ didn’t expect so soon was your decline. You were in bad shape. You were declining and getting worse. The doctors reassured you and JJ that they were doing everything they could. JJ wanted to remain strong for you, no matter how hard it seemed.

You were admitted to the hospital a few weeks later. The hospital was far from homey. It made you feel depressed, but you tried to keep a smile on your face for JJ.

JJ was with you every step of the way. He was always there. He’d sleep in uncomfortable hospital chairs which you told him he can sleep with you in your bed. He refused something about giving you space but you insisted.

To pass the time the two of you would talk or watch TV. You were getting weaker and weaker so you decided it was time for the inevitable.

“JJ,” your voice came out pained.

“Yes baby?” JJ responded.

“I don’t want you to watch me die,” you whispered.

“Don’t talk like that, you’re going to live. If anyone can beat this it’s you.”

“I want you to live your life to the fullest without me,” you spoke softly.

“Baby please,” JJ begged as his eyes filled up with tears.

“You need to move on,” you stated firmly.

“I don’t want to move on,” JJ cried.

“JJ please don’t make this difficult.”

“I’m not trying to I just am having a hard time processing everything.” JJ choked out.

“I love you but you have to let me go.” you explained.

“Y/N please don’t do this,” JJ pleaded.

“I’m trying to save you from suffering later on,” you delicately said.

“I don’t need you to protect me. I’m in this for the long haul,” JJ expressed.

“I need you to listen to me. Please. I want you to forget about me. Let me go. I don’t wanna break your heart by dying.”

“Baby-“

“No JJ i’m serious. I want you to move on without me, please.”

“I’ll try,” JJ’s voice betraying him.

Despite what JJ said he had no intention of moving on. You were his whole world. He wanted to be with you every step of the way.

JJ was at the hospital constantly. It was like he never left. JJ went to get some food and when he came back you were asleep.

JJ went up to you and stroked your head. “My baby girl,” he whispered.

You stirred a little bit remained asleep. JJ was staring at you in awe because you were prefect in his eyes. You were his angel.

“Please don’t leave me,” JJ whispered.

JJ was thinking about what life would be like without you. He begged his mind not to go there but he couldn’t help it. He would be devastated. There would be no life without you. You were his whole world, without you there would be no point.

“Jayj,” you whispered.

“Yes, baby,” JJ responded.

“You shouldn’t be here.”

“Yes I should be. I should always be here.”

“I want you to move on,” you stated seriously.

“I’m not ready for that. I can’t lose you,” JJ cried.

“You haven’t lost me yet. I’m still in love with you, I just want you to move forward,” you expressed.

“I’m not going anywhere, til death do us part,” JJ replied.

“Come here,” you opened your arms for him to jump into.

JJ breathed a sigh of relief and accepted your request. He got onto your bed and slid in next to you. He tucked you under his chin and you both hugged each other.

The two of you were in your own little world, enjoying each other’s presence. JJ held onto you like his life depended on it. He didn’t want to let you go.

JJ reluctantly went home to shower and change and rejuvenate. When he came back to the hospital he was waking down the hall when he ran into your mom.

“Hi JJ,” your mom spoke.

“Hi, mrs. y/l/n, how is she?” JJ responded.

“She’s gone, I’m so sorry,” your mothers eyes filled up with tears yet again.

“No she can’t be gone I never got to say goodbye,” JJ cried.

“She left this for you sweetie,” She handed him a envelope.

It read: To my sunshine boy

It was in the same loopy letters as your handwriting and it brought JJ to tears.

To: My Sunshine Boy

I want you to know that you made my life worth while. My time spent with you was some of the best times of my life. I cherish everything that you have done for me. It was an honor being your girlfriend. I loved you more than I’ve ever thought possible. More than anything. The amount of times you brought me joy or made me laugh is uncountable.

You are a ray of sunshine on my darkest days. I will never be more thankful for whatever higher power gave me you. When I’m gone I promise to wait for you in the afterlife. Please don’t be too heartbroken when I’m gone. I hate to of made you upset.

I want you to fall in love again. I want you to fall in love with someone else and have your heart belong to them. I want you to live your life to the fullest and live with no regrets.

I hope you know how proud I am of you, for all your accomplishments. I’m proud of you for standing up to your dad. You were given a shitty deal of cards in life but you are so much more than what you were dealt. Im so grateful for having you in my life. I don’t know what I would of done without you.

You are the most driven, and hardworking person i’ve ever met. You are amazing human being who is strong and loving. Being loved by you was one of my greatest memories. I can not thank you enough for treating me with respect and kindness each and every day we were together.

You have made me the happiest girl in the world. Being with you has been the highlight of my whole life. You have been my guardian angel and I can’t thank you enough for taking care of me.

Thank you for being the best boyfriend a girl could ask for. You are the love of my entire life.

all my love,

y/n

JJ was balling his eyes out by the end of your letter. He couldn’t believe you were gone. He refused to accept it. He couldn’t let you go even though he knew he needed to.

The past few weeks have been really hard for JJ. His house was a mess, empty beer bottles littering the floor. He really let himself go. He didn’t see a point in trying anymore. What is life when the love of your life dies.

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brotherwtf · 3 months

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Modern Clegan at the beach for the first time!

Sure, John lived on Lake Michigan and it is big, but it doesn’t compare to the ocean

And poor Gale hasn’t seen a larger body of water than Pathfinder Reservoir

oh I'm already weeping! this is gonna be adorable!!

John takes Gale to the coast (maybe Myrtle Beach bcs I love SC) for an anniversary or honeymoon or smth

They stay at a beachside hotel or house or smth, and Gale is perfectly content to just sit on the porch or balcony and watch the waves

Don't tell anyone, but Gale is hopelessly afraid of the beach and the ocean but doesn't want to damper Johns fun

John is stupid (as per usual) when he's at the beach, trying to bury Gale in the sand and standing in Gale's sun where he's laying. He'll play in the sand like he's seven, making piles of sand or sand castles, or just straight up digging a hole just to entertain himself

Gale is anxious every time John tries to drag him in the water, finding an excuse to stay on the safety of the beach

John finally gives him those puppy dog eyes that Gale can't resist, and he's forced to overcome his anxieties and venture into the ocean

John holds his hand the entire time, whispering comforting things to Gale as they reach deeper water. They get about waist deep before Gale has to stop, holding onto John's arms until his knuckles are white.

While John may have been goofing on the beach, he's serious while they're actually in the water. He knows Gale is nervous about this, so he doesn't goof off as much

Once Gale starts to get more comfortable in the water, basically loosening his vice grip on John's arms and taking a couple of steps away from him, John starts acting a fool again

He splashes Gale with water and Gale gives him a stern look before immediately splashing John back. They get into a "fight" of splashing water at each other until John finally calls for a truce and brings Gale in for a wet, salty kiss

They watch the sunset from the beach, holding hands and laying on each other on their beach towel.

Once night falls, Gale and John walk along the beach together and let the waves lap at their feet, kissing each other lightly periodically and holding hands the whole time

this was very cute to write about lol. lmk y'all's hcs for this!!

#mota #clegan #buck x bucky #john egan #gale cleven #asks

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huardrad · 2 months

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Bring your four-legged friend to the beach in this single family house that sleeps 12 comfortably across from the sand! This 4 bedroom rental has its own fenced-in backyard for added peace of mind. Find information on pet-friendly beach houses in North Myrtle Beach via the website https://www.mbpfr.com/

#Important Specifications About Dog Friendly Rental Houses North Myrtle Beach

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salomano · 2 months

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Highly Informative Details Regarding Vacation Rental Houses Cherry Grove

Bring Fido along on one of these Vacation rental Dog friendly houses Cherry Grove and experience North Myrtle Beach as a family. Pets are welcome with a refundable pet deposit. All About the View is an oceanfront home situated in Cherry Grove in North Myrtle Beach and ideal for last-minute getaways or last-minute vacations. Close to many popular attractions and amenities, All About the View makes an unforgettable oceanfront home to stay.

#Pet Friendly Beach Houses

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hotelbooking · 2 months

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Super 8 By Wyndham Myrtle Beach - Market Common Area Super 8 By Wyndham Myrtle Beach - Market Common Area offers a range of sports facilities that cater to both relaxation and fitness enthusiasts. Whether you want to take a refreshing dip or engage in some invigorating activities, this hotel has got you covered. Start your day by taking a plunge in the indoor pool, where you can enjoy a leisurely swim or simply unwind by the water. The pool area is beautifully designed, providing a tranquil atmosphere for guests to relax and rejuvenate. If you prefer to soak up the sun and enjoy the fresh air, head to the outdoor pool, where you can bask in the warm sunshine while cooling off in the crystal-clear waters. For those who love the beach, Super 8 By Wyndham Myrtle Beach - Market Common Area is just a short distance away from the sandy shores. Spend your days building sandcastles, playing beach volleyball, or simply lounging under the shade of an umbrella. With the hotel's convenient location,...

#Super 8 By Wyndham Myrtle Beach - Market Common Area #HotelKDM #hotel #travel

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rentalleaf · 11 months

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At Rental Leaf, we've curated a list of the best private balcony rentals and oceanfront hotels in Myrtle Beach, SC, and North Myrtle Beach to help you plan your dream coastal getaway.

#oceanfront hotel with a balcony in North Myrtle Beach

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legitalicat · 4 months

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Appalachian Sihtric takes you to the beach - drabble

AN: Thank you to Foxy for asking for this scenario!

Collection masterlist here!

Spotify playlist here!

Summary: After a life time of never leaving the mountains, you experience the beach for the first time.

CW: Fluff

Pairings: Sihtric Kjartansson x reader

Word count: 835

You didn’t know what to expect from the beach, truly. You had never been, living in the mountains all your life, and being perfectly content staying there. Mostly.

There had been a small piece of you that always craved to see the ocean. You just felt like you had to know. Some of your friends from college had a fear of the ocean and what lurked below the surface. You, however, could never have been bothered by it.

When Sihtric approached you a few weeks ago, telling you he longed for a break from work, it seemed good a time as any. He had been to the beach before, courtesy of his grandparents when he was younger. You had always been invited, too, yet your parents never agreed to it.

You were ten miles out from Myrtle Beach. The entire trip had been spent listening to Sihtric’s favorite Spotify playlist, stopping for snacks whenever you had the slightest grumble in your stomach, and watching the way he drove. His knuckles white from gripping the steering wheel to keep from road raging, his dimples etching themselves on his face every time he realized you were more excited the closer you got.

“Is that the ocean?!” you asked him excitedly as you drove over a bridge that spanned across an inlet.

“Kind of,” he said, chuckling a bit. “It’s brackish water. Where fresh water meets salt water.”

“Oh,” you said, pouting a bit as you sank into the seat a little.

“Hold on, baby, let me change lanes. Then you can see the ocean in the distance a little,” he said.

You shot up, straightening your back. You tried to avoid pressing your face against the window. When he got into the right lane, though, you couldn’t help it. Nose pressed fully against the glass, you took in the sight of the ocean on the horizon.

You stayed that way until you got past the point in which you could no longer see the water. After a small detour to grab a watermelon and some other fruit at a roadside stand, at Sihtric’s insistence, you made quick work to the hotel.

Walking into the hotel, a building so unbelievably fancy that it felt a lot like you were out of place, you could smell the ocean. You never knew you could smell the beach. You were practically vibrating with excitement.

Should you get up to your room and unpack? Yes. It wasn’t happening, though, considering Sihtric had to keep his finger looped in one of your shorts’ belt loops to keep you from sprinting full speed towards the water.

“Okay baby, we’ll go grab the suitcases in a minute. First, you are going to go feel the ocean,” he said, grinning like the Cheshire Cat as he lead you towards the hotel’s beach exit.

“Really?!” you basically shouted.

“Yes. Couple things, we’re going to do this for a few minutes cause you don’t have sunscreen on. But also, sand is stupid hot so be careful,” he told you. “Walk in front of me, yeah? Just, stay close don’t run off.”

You nodded eagerly and began walking in front of him. Though you reached back and held his hand in yours. Your hands trembled in his grip as he grabbed his cell phone and turned the camera on.

You took off your sandals as you got to the end of the little walk way, on the precipice of feeling the sand for the first time. It looks soft and beautiful. You had read so many creatures found their homes in the sands, partially feeling nervous about creating home renovations for them that they did not ask for. And so, Sihtric gently urged you forward until you took your first step.

You could feel the sand squish in between your toes. It was hot, the sun baking it and that heat burning the soles of your feet, but you had never been so grateful for such a feeling. With a little hop and a skip, you began pulling him eagerly towards the water.

It was only when you stood just out of reach of the tide that your turned to face him. There were tears in your eyes from being overwhelmed in the best way. Truthfully, there had been no preparation you could’ve given yourself. Everything was so wonderful.

“Go on, love. You’re almost there,” Sihtric said softly, never letting your hand go.

A nod, a breath, and a step. The water rushed over your feet, washing away every grain of sand. It fed your soul in ways you never knew you needed. The tears could no longer be held back, and you started sobbing a bit, crying to your husband about how amazing this all was.

You showered him with a million thanks, hugging him to you tightly just after he put his phone away. He whispered loving words in your ear, promising you he would bring you back four times a year if that’s what you wanted.

><><><><><><><><

Taglist: @foxyanon @zaldritzosrose @thenameswinter99

If you want added to the taglist, let me know!

#appalachian sihtric #sihtric x reader #sihtric kjartansson #the last kingdom

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emphasisonthehomo · 2 years

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idk if you've talked about this before or not, but how would you think it would go down if steve and danny met at an earlier time in their life, maybe early transitioning stages still for danny?

Ooohhh I have not spoken about this, but this is an interesting concept.

An au of an au, I guess. If Rachel never decided to hit him with her car. OR if she did, then one where they never got Serious, and fizzled out after she went to England.

When Danny's like 22 and still Very Cognizant of How To Pass. His voice has started to change, but not that much. He's starting to get body and facial hair, but not quite at the level he will when he's a little older. If he's clean shaven and not careful about how he speaks and behaves, he occasionally gets clocked and it's terrifying.

And then idk spring break? For Convenience's Sake. Let's say spring break at *spins the wheel* MYRTLE BEACH. Because google says that's a popular spot on the east coast. Danny goes w/ a bunch of Queers™ he's buddies with, and like half of them have blue hair and pronouns, it's Tucker Carlson's nightmare.

Who else also happens to be at Myrtle Beach? Why Steven McGarrett and a whole mess of baby sailors. Freddie is going to wear a neon green tank top the entire time and yell HOOYAH at strangers. Catherine's ready to fucking go HOG WILD. Pun intended.

Danny splurged for his own hotel room, because he knows how his friends operate, and he's not interested in navigating any socks on the door situation. He’s here to party and get laid, he’s not gonna deal with a roomie. No fuck you Brayden, get your own room or share with Amethyst. This is gonna be his first spring break post top surgery, so he’s – he’s probably not gonna go topless. He does still hate the beach. But being hot and humid without having to wear a binder? Fuck yes. This is also gonna be his last Spring Break before he graduates and goes to Law School and he has to idk be More Responsible or something.

Steve’s gotten his own hotel room for many similar reasons. He’s seen how Freddie gets about trying to Eat So Much Pussy, and he isn’t interesting in being an unfortunate witness to such escapades. Besides, Steve also has plans to Eat So Much Pussy, and maybe. You know. Maybe suck a dick or something. At least make out with a dude, he thinks. Maybe these gay thoughts can catch him. Maybe he’ll let them.

Anyways, what I’m saying is that Steve and Danny’s rooms JUST SO HAPPEN to be right next to each other. The kind with an adjoining door. And the hotel isn’t the classiest, but it was the nicest they could get that was still close to the bars and reasonably priced. And lo, Danny and his friends and Steve and his friends JUST SO HAPPEN to check in at the same time.

They do that thing where they make eye contact with each other in the elevator. And Danny’s on edge because yeah that guy’s good looking, but he’s also wearing a t shirt that says Annapolis on it in big letters. Steve meanwhile saw Danny come in with a bunch of obviously queer people and is like okay. There’s a hot guy who I think is definitely maybe probably also into dudes.

And they bump into each other again at the bar, and spend almost the entire night dancing around each other. It’s just a bunch of drunk college students interacting. (Brayden is trying very hard to fuck Freddie and Freddie is straight boy oblivious.) You know who’s not being straight boy oblivious? Steve.

Because Steve’s doing his smooth dog schtick, even if he maybe hasn’t gotten that moniker yet. He’s flirty and charming and it’s driving Danny up the fucking wall. Like Steve keeps brushing his hand across the side of Danny’s waist or his lower back under the guise of passing by him to get to the bar. And Danny is like ‘okay if this is gay chicken so be it’ so he starts flirting back kind of aggressively, but instead of getting all deer in headlights about it, Steve looks so genuinely pleased at Danny’s attention.

Danny: “… Shit I’m gonna fuck this sailor, aren’t I?”

Steve: “… Catch me now Gay Thoughts.”

If they didn’t have hotel rooms right next to each other, if Danny didn’t know for a fact that he’s basically neighbors with this guy for the rest of the break, he’d just suck Steve off and deal w/ the sexual frustration of not getting his. Because telling random (presumably closeted jfc, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is still in force) people about the trans thing is UHM terrifying.

But when Steve leans in close and whispers “Let me walk with you back to the hotel,” in Danny’s ear, and he’s so fucking tall and hot and clearly ripped, and he’s got nice hands, Danny’s just drunk enough to be like “…yeah.”

And because of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell they both go to their separate rooms. Steve immediately goes ‘knock knock knock’ on the adjoining door. Danny can’t believe he’s gonna do this, but at least if something goes Wrong he can probably run back to the other room and lock the door real quick.

So, he opens the door, and Steve starts kissing him basically from the get go. Kisses Danny deep and purposeful, and shit, shit Danny didn’t think this through.

“Wait, wait, wait-” Danny stops him while they’re both still standing in the open doorway.

“Sorry?” Steve’s panicking just a little, because he thought that this is what they were doing, but now Danny’s stopping him and oh no.

And Danny just blurts out “I’m trans?”

Fuck. That wasn’t supposed to be a question. He’s. Very drunk.

“I’m trans,” Danny repeats. There. Gotta say it with conviction.

Steve just kind of blinks at him, because he’s also Very Drunk and uhhhhhh what?

"What?"

“… I don’t have a dick.”

It’s not the best way to explain this, but it’s what Danny’s beer addled brain comes up with, when he’s got a beefy navy cadet all up in his space. Steve doesn’t seem put off by Danny’s explanation, which is good. He just kind of blinks at Danny some more and then says:

“You don’t have a dick.”

“I don’t have a dick.”

Fuck.

This is awkward.

Danny’s made a mistake.

But then Steve just goes “Oh good, I’ve never sucked a dick before, I was worried I’d be bad at it.”

Danny’s about to. He doesn’t know. Tell Steve ‘well of course you’ll be bad at it’ because unless you’re some kind of cock sucking savant, you’re not going to be good at it on the first try. But it gets kind of lost because Steve just kisses him again. And again. And again.

And Steve does, in fact, get to Eat So Much Pussy. Danny practically sucks Steve’s soul out through his dick.

The next morning, they wake up hungover and sore. They go to waffle house. Then they go back to those adjoined hotel rooms, and do it all over again sober.

Instead of spending Spring Break in a drunken stupor, they actually spend it (mostly) sober fucking like rabbits or tangled together in bed and drowsily talking. They go through an improbable number of condoms. Steve’s 21. He’s got the refractory period get wild with it.

And then they just kind of. Stay in touch. After.

Steve goes back to Annapolis, and Danny goes back to Princeton. And they text and call constantly. And it turns into this weird ‘fuck buddies but also best friends but also long distance’ kind of situation. Steve goes on and becomes a SEAL. Danny goes to law school and then doesn’t become a lawyer.

They don’t see each other in person often, but when they do it’s usually like no one ever left.

Steve doesn’t have much of a relationship with his father. He’s not currently on speaking terms with Mary. So, when he’s got leave? He’s in New Jersey. He doesn’t go home to Hawai'i. He goes home to Danny.

Steve has his casual thing with Catherine, and yes he and Danny are also casual, but it’s Different from his relationship with her. And sure Danny also dates, but if Steve calls Danny up and is like “I’ve got 48 hours of leave in Manhattan” Danny will basically drop everything to go meet him there.

(Freddie refers to Danny as Steve’s ““friend”” quotation marks included, even after Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is repealed. Because they’re not dating, not really. But they’re, you know, Close.)

Steve goes off and does classified bullshit that he can’t talk about, and when he’s stateside Danny holds him in the long nights when he can’t sleep.

When Danny's PI cases get too gnarly, when Tilly doesn’t make it home, Steve bullies Danny into a gun range and teaches him the ins and outs of shooting.

And it turns into this Thing, where they both are Convinced that it is only ever going to be casual between the two of them. And they just circle each other. Because Steve is a moron, but he’s also Danny’s best fucking friend. Because Danny’s a loudmouth, but Steve still isn’t going anywhere else when he’s got leave. And they fuck, and they argue, and they kiss soft and slow, and Danny makes Steve pancakes, and Steve knows Danny’s preferred brand of coffee, but somehow? They never make it to the point of talking about actually defining their relationship.

It goes like that for years. For over a decade.

And then Hesse.

And then the funeral.

Danny flies out, for it. Steve doesn’t know why he wasn’t expecting that. Danny had never met John, only ever knew Steve’s father second hand from the (very) rare occasions Steve had spoken about him.

They’re both on a time crunch.

Danny’s heading back at the airport, when Governor Jameson drops the offer for a task force in Steve’s lap.

Danny’s making his way through security, when Steve’s breaking into an active crime scene and getting into an argument with Detective Hanamoa.

Danny’s sitting by the gate, when he gets a call from Steve, asking if he can stay in Honolulu a little longer.

And Danny doesn’t hesitate, when he says “sure thing, babe.”

EDIT: Part II

#aron's fic #trans danno #au of an au #i will say that coming up w/ an au w/out grace feels Weird

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