#hoping we get more content in the future :) i'm gonna stay up and do some giffing and then nap before i start studying lol

[seokmashu]

my fav moments of zb1's first live:

matthew doing the greeting a little too early and looking around to see if anyone noticed hehe

hanbin making a cute shocked face after saying "star crea--fans!" 😲

hanbin gunwook and hao making fun of ricky for taking so long to choose his emojis -- "we only have an hour!"

jiwoong picking the french fries emoji because he wants to eat french fries 🍟

gyuvin thinking about how to explain his emojis and ricky interjecting "sorry i forgot" from off camera hahah

gunwook being like "i'm between the centers!!" also he did a good job as mc

the boys are eating a lot of meat/eating well :') as opposed to just eating gyuvin's biscuits when they were on boys planet

matthew likes the howl's moving castle instrumental theme!! cute

hanbin saying he hopes his voice doesn't crack haha -- and his singing was so nice to listen to :)

ricky not knowing why he was named ricky "i have to call my mom" LOL

what yujin would say to his friends: "YA!"

ricky telling matthew to pick jiwoong or hanbin like boxing...lmao this instigator

zerose fandom name?? i hope it's spelled zerose 🌹 and not zeroes 0️⃣

after the boys walked offstage and someone said "that was so hard!!" hahahaha good job zb1!! 🥰 the boys did so well on their first live!!

[pupyuj]

→ “your colorful secrets.” || jang wonyoung x reader fic.

— weeks after the event which you call "the weirdest thing that's ever happened all year", wonyoung approaches you about your 'strange' behavior towards her in the most 'wonyoung' way possible...

word count: 10.6k

dynamic: dom!mean girl!jang wonyoung x sub!nerd!reader.

content warnings: smut, fingering, clit play, nipple play, masturbation (for like, a minute lmao), overstimulation, mommy kink, degradation.

requested? : kind of!

a/n: well, we finally made it ya'll! 😭😭💞 i feel like i'm gonna say this about every fic i write here from now on but PHEWWW THIS QUITE LITERALLY TOOK FOREVER?? but i was more than happy to flesh this little universe out more and revisit our favorite mean girl and her awkward nerd <33 just like you guys, "magic words" is one of my favorite things that i have written so even though this kinda took me wayyy too long to finish, I WAS SO HAPPY THAT I STILL DID IT UEUEUE MEAN GIRL WONY MY BELOVED 🥺💓 anyhow, i really, really hope you guys enjoy this and here's to more mean girl wonys in the future hehehe

p.s. i hope ya'll don't get bored too easily bcs wow there's a shit ton of talking in the first half of this fic—

previous: magic words.

jang wonyoung was late. 

to class.

which wasn’t exactly all that surprising considering she thinks she can do whatever she wants. but she was never late to class. you would know—you were always waiting until she entered the room. it was like you were never calm until she appeared, but that was because you have had the biggest, lamest crush on her all year. even the professor took a pause when he called wonyoung’s name for attendance and nobody was there to respond with “i’m here, professor~” and a cheeky smile. you stared at the empty seat in the middle of the classroom, wonyoung’s seat, and wondered what could’ve been in her way for her to— 

“just hold on for mommy, ‘kay?”

you dropped your pen, covering your red face with your hands. your seatmate gave you a brief look before going back to reading her notes. did you really have to think about that first thing in the morning? well, it wasn’t as if it was all you have been thinking about for the past two weeks: wonyoung’s lips on yours, her hands all over you, her sweet voice soothing you, and her eyes looking at you like you were her last meal… you still couldn’t believe that entire thing even happened!

ever since then, things have been really weird. a lot of people looked at you more when before wonyoung fucked you, you were usually ignored which you liked. and you knew everybody whispered about you and wonyoung too. neither of you were being discreet in that room in the library that day so you heard all sorts of things from your fellow students the day after. usually about how they didn’t think you were that kind of girl, or how they never thought wonyoung would ever consider fucking ‘someone like you’. see, other people would be mad if they heard some strangers say all those things about them but actually, you agreed with them.

everything about that day went against a lot of things that you thought about yourself. well, you weren’t planning on staying a virgin forever but you really didn’t expect for it to be taken by jang wonyoung of all people!

“come on, baby. give me a show.”

you squeezed your thighs together, your heart hammering inside your chest. god, it almost felt like wonyoung was right up against your ear—talking to you and berating you for thinking about her 24/7 after she fucked you. you felt your core clench upon remembering how warm wonyoung’s hands were, how her fingers felt ramming inside you… god, you wanted it all again. but there was no way she would agree to that, right? knowing wonyoung and the kind of girl that she was, that would be the only time she would fuck you, right?

a pink jacket catches your attention, making you look up from your thighs. jang wonyoung has finally arrived. she was talking to the professor as she sat in her seat, all smiles and giggles as usual. she throws a brief glance over her shoulder, sharp eyes meeting yours. you didn’t miss the way the corner of her mouth lifted up, smirking at you as she eyed you down. you didn’t even know how the fuck she was able to do that within a millisecond of looking at you, but she did it anyway and it only made you squirm in your seat.

oh, how pathetic you were. you’ve been feeling all sorts of things after wonyoung fucked you, but you never knew what to do about them. for now, you just wanted to get through another day of being in wonyoung’s presence despite everything that’s happened. she hasn’t spoken much to you since that day and you doubted that anything was going to change—she’s jang wonyoung after all. you were probably just another hook-up to her, something she’s bound to forget about in a week or so.

(see, that was just all kinds of wrong because right at this moment, all the nosy people who were staring at wonyoung can clearly see how she spared your pitiful figure by the window little glances every other minute with a sly smile on her face. she didn’t make an effort to be discreet. she never does. when jang wonyoung likes something, she is going to let people know—she has to! or else they’ll all just think you’re up for grabs.

no. wonyoung was going to show them only she can really pull all the nice girls in this school. especially you—(y/n) (l/n), the campus’ adorably awkward bookworm who’s very endearingly clumsy despite her well-put appearance. god, how wonyoung had become obsessed with you and you had absolutely no idea.

but it was more than just your character too. for a while now, actually ever since she fucked you, something about you has been bothering her mind. it’s made her unable to stop thinking about you and truthfully, it fucking pissed her off so much that she had to brainstorm a plan, a solution, for it. which became the reason why she was late today. will wonyoung actually execute it? who knows! for now, she can stare at you scribbling on your notes and laugh to herself because she knew, oh she so knew, that every time you paused, shut your eyes, and shook your head—you were thinking about her.)

thankfully, the class ended after another hour and a half. halfway through it all, you got bored and opted to stare out the window. so much so that you didn’t realize class was over until the familiar scent of money and local fame wafted into your nose—wonyoung had walked past you, and she winked at you. you found yourself freezing up in your seat, so fucking pathetic. nobody seemed to notice what wonyoung had just done which was fortunate for you! with bright red cheeks and ears, you packed up our belongings in record time and swiftly power-walked your way out of the classroom.

the attention that was put on you as you walked along the hallways of the building was annoying, for the lack of a better word. it seems like everybody was looking at you as if this was the very first instance of a loser somehow ‘getting’ the popular girl to sleep with her. sometimes, you wish it never happened. as good as it felt, the aftermath was almost not worth it. you’ve heard cruel things being said about you after that day and to save your enrollment, you kept yourself quiet and pretended like you were unaware. except that you weren’t, so every time you make eye contact with someone and they start whispering to their friend or something, it only adds up to that pool of anger that was slowly building up from the pit of your stomach.

still, you couldn’t bring yourself to blame wonyoung for it all. you were part of the act as much as she was but you also can’t say that you brought all this attention and rumors to yourself. you blamed the other girl’s stupid reputation, actually. but it’s not like you can rewind time and make yourself leave that goddamn room when you thought wonyoung was never going to come. there was no point in dwelling on it now. it happened and you have to live with the consequences. being talked about isn’t half as bad as the threat of your scholarship getting revoked anyway.

you were right on the other side of the building when you realized you had no idea where you wanted to go. you just wanted to get out of that classroom, away from wonyoung’s sights so she can’t have you acting up in front of everybody. not that you would actually be able to make stable eye contact with her anyway. naturally, you found yourself marching towards the washroom. you were nearing to the door when you heard a few girls chattering lively.

you entered the washroom and there stood in front of the mirror were kim jiwon and shim jayoon—your acquaintances and wonyoung’s super smart best friends from one of the science programs. they were the last people you wanted to see face-to-face and for good reason! as soon as they saw you, they squealed and grabbed your arm, yanking you to stand in front of the mirror with them. “there’s the woman of the hour!” jiwon teased, lightly pinching your cheek.

“more like woman of the week—literally nobody is shutting up about you! this must feel like heaven.” jayoon nudges your arm, firmly believing that you liked all of the attention you were getting when you really didn’t. you would do anything to be invisible again.

“is this really what it feels like to be popular? i hate it,” you grumbled, earning a sigh from jayoon. “i don’t know how you guys ever manage.”

“you have an outdated opinion about all of this, baby girl! don’t you like having everyone’s eyes on you? now they’ll see how much of a pretty little thing you are—it’s great!” jiwon said. no, she was not very successful in convincing you that this wasn’t the worst thing that’s ever happened in your academic life so far. but you decided that you wouldn’t fight her on it and instead, stand idly between the two girls while they gossiped and twirled and played with your hair.

you were completely signed off from the conversation; the only thing in your mind was the feeling of wonyoung’s hands in your hair while she kissed you. unconsciously, you touched your lips with your fingers. fuck.

“oh, you’ve got it bad, huh?” jiwon teases.

“hey, don’t blame (y/n)! wonyoung’s a good kisser—i’d miss her lips too,” jayoon sighs dreamily. then she gasps and grips your forearm tightly. “do you want to fuck her again?” she asked with shiny eyes.

“w-what?!”

“where’d you get your information from, jayoon? wonyoung fucked her.”

“oh, right!”

you covered your face with your hands, “please stop talking.”

jayoon forcefully pries your hand off your face, “listen, gaeul-sunbae is having a party next week and we’ll be there with wonyoung! you should come! we’ll make sure to get you guys a room.” jayoon says with a wink. god, they’d let the two of you fuck in a house full of your schoolmates?! that would just add onto your world of troubles.

“i’m not going to any party and i’m never sleeping with wonyoung again, okay? i just—i want this all to end. i hate it when i’m looked at.” you gently wiggled yourself out of the two girls’ hold and once again marched towards the door.

“you shouldn’t have fucked her then.” jayoon says with a shrug as you reach for the handle, making you pause.

“she fucked me.” you corrected your friend before swinging the door open and exiting the washroom.

“yeah jayoon get your facts straight!” you heard jiwon laugh as you bolted out of the washroom. you rolled your eyes, shaking your head, and glaring at the first person you saw in the hallway. the person in question raised an eyebrow before turning to talk with his friend, eyes lingering on your leaving figure.

gosh, this school was a nightmare.

nevertheless, you survive the long walk back to your classroom without sparing another person a glance. did you bump into people because you absolutely refused to look up? yes! did you care? not at all. it was much, much better than dealing with the scrutiny in everyone’s eyes. apparently, sex was only a problem when the girl who wanted nothing to do with it actually did it. every time you remembered how everyone in the library looked at you after you and wonyoung left that private room, you wanted to scream. literally. all of the negative things that came after the event made you forget about the sweet stuff. like the way wonyoung insisted on driving you home, how she walked you to a bus stop when you refused to ride with her, how she patiently and wordlessly waited for your bus with you, and how she gave you a kiss on the cheek when your bus did arrive.

but what good was having wonyoung’s attention if everybody was also going to look at you, but in a worse light?

you knew it probably wasn’t fair, but you grew a tiny bit of resentment towards the popular girl.

you entered your classroom after a deep breath—eyes glued to the ground and hands hidden under the straps of your backpack. it felt like you were back in high school all over again. this sucked so bad. but unfortunately, getting to your seat was only a bumpy road! all you had to do was not look up and start reading material once you’ve sat down. it should be so easy. of course, fate had other ideas.

wonyoung had bumped into you while walking towards her own seat, forcing you to tear your gaze from the ground to look at her. oh, she was so pretty—no, (y/n)! “sorry.” wonyoung says with a cheeky smile. (she was excited that she finally got you to look at her. and as expected…) you blushed, merely looking away from the other girl before rushing to your seat. you heard a few giggles behind you which only confirmed your suspicions—it was definitely planned. it didn’t help that your cheeks and ears were flushed red… gosh, even your neck felt warm. you know what also didn’t help? how wonyoung’s intense gaze didn’t leave your figure for a while. you could feel her staring at you like you were some piece of meat for her to devour and you weren’t even exaggerating by saying all that!

it was the same kind of look she was giving you right before she kissed you that day. despite your resistance, you met wonyoung’s stare. you noticed that she was surprised to see you raise your head, but it looked like it pleased her more than anything. wonyoung tilts her head and smiles slyly at you while her eyes travel from your hands, your exposed thighs, to your legs… now who knew jang wonyoung could be such a pervert? you squeezed your thighs together, glaring slightly at wonyoung who merely giggled before finally turning around and facing the front.

things like that—wonyoung’s attention, her interest, her affection—were the only good to come out from that hook-up. the rest? the side-eyes, the rumors, the whispers, the unwanted popularity spike? you wanted nothing to do with it. but, again, it wasn’t like you could reverse time.

so, you were going to do what you’ve always been good at: hide yourself to the point of invisibility. it’s never failed you before, and it shouldn’t now.

the only challenge was jang wonyoung herself—will she let you out of her sight?

you didn’t want to think about the most obvious answer. instead, you tried your damned hardest to not think about her at all for the rest of the day. you poured all of your attention to the lectures, the coursework, and the notes. basically anything just to avoid hearing her voice in your head again. at least it wasn’t as bad as the first few days after she fucked you. during those times, you quite literally replayed the entire thing in your head every minute. it wasn’t surprising that you ended up failing a few small quizzes around that time.

when you’ve put every belonging you had in your backpack, you practically rushed to get up from your seat and headed to the door. avoiding every eye that latched onto your figure. you successfully passed wonyoung’s seat without trouble until…

“ah, (y/n)! finally, i can talk to you.”

ms. lim, the professor for your last class of the day, calls you. you turned around with a tight-lipped smile on your face, reluctantly walking closer to the teacher’s desk while most of your classmates walked out of the door. wonyoung was still in the room. she was staring. fuck, why is she always staring?!

“i wanted to thank you for all the help you gave last week for jiyoung’s little… ‘art for amateurs’ club.” ms. lim sighed at the name (she has always hated it but ms. kim jiyoung, her fiancé, loved it too much to change it) and smiled up at you.

“no need for thanks, ma’am. i was passing by the art room that day and i just thought i’d help.” you hear a few people shuffle behind you. more students walking out. a flash of pink walks by behind you. wonyoung. you blinked and smiled at the professor, acting as normal as you could.

“if you don’t mind, i need you to do another favor for me,” ms. lim opens up one of her drawers and carefully takes out a lunch bag from it. the professor smiles sheepishly at you. “i hate to ask my students to do little chores like this. but i’m going to be preoccupied with grading and lesson plans for the rest of the day and that idiot jiyoung forgot to grab her food from me.”

you chuckled lightly, “hard to imagine ms. kim of all people would forget about her food. i’ll take it to her, no worries.” you carefully held the lunch bag in your hands and smiled at your professor.

“thank you, (y/n). she’s been all over the place lately! worrying about this one special pupil of hers that she’s practically begging to put up a piece of her work in the walls of the art building. it’s a whole thing, i won’t bore you about it. run along.” ms. lim waves you off with a laugh. you bowed to the professor before happily exiting the classroom with ms. kim’s lunch bag in hand. when you left the room, you saw that the hallways were still quite full with students lounging about—looks like it wasn’t going to be an easy walk to the fine arts building but oh well.

the first hurdle was squeezing through a crowd of jocks from different teams creating a ruckus in the middle of the hallway. the second struggle was nearly getting picked on by said jocks when they just so happened to notice you sneaking by. thankfully, a nice cheerleader with red hair diverted their attention so you could slip away. it was a quiet and pleasant walk along the school courtyard towards the fine arts building from there, with only the wind and soft rustling of leaves accompanying you.

the building was quiet, save for your own footsteps. usually, the hallways would be filled with sounds of casual chatter and the muffled voices of instructors and students alike. you had to say though, you much rather preferred the silence. it was comforting. you were usually surrounded with a lot of yelling, hollering, and laughing which sometimes wasn’t all that bad but considering everything that’s been happening the fast few days… yeah, this was preferable.

it didn’t take long for you to reach ms. kim’s classroom, and there you were met with a vast empty room littered with half-finished paintings and beautiful illustrations created by the students and ms. kim herself. there was a backpack and a big canvas set near the back of the classroom but you pay it no mind. it was common for students to stay after school hours just to kill time or work on their projects. you put down the lunch bag on ms. kim’s desk, all the more ready to turn around and leave when a particular painting caught your eye.

it wasn’t anything special by any means. in fact, it was buried behind more colorful paintings and you could only see half of it. you approached the painting, looking around the other canvases just to see it in full. it didn’t look finished, but then again maybe that was part of the appeal. the painting was that of an arrangement of beautiful flowers in a jar, they were wilting. or maybe they were just coming to life, looking at the soft streams of sunlight that shone down on them.

regardless, you didn’t have the luxury to analyze the painting any further when you heard shuffling behind you. alarmed, you turned your head quickly and… well, fuck.

“wonyoung…”

the tall girl clad in pinks and blues smiles at you. it wasn’t a very comforting smile.

“the one and only,” well, that sounded familiar. you watched as wonyoung threads the ends of her hair using her dainty little fingers. a smirk dances on her lips while she stares you down, very much liking how she has rendered you speechless with her mere presence. a bit of a dramatic statement but it was true! “how’d you like my work?” wonyoung asked, eyes quickly flickering over to the flower painting behind you.

you followed her stare, but quickly looked back at her in shock. “you painted that?” you gasped.

“you make me sound like i’m just a stupid bimbo,” wonyoung sighs dramatically. “of course, i painted it. would anyone else’s work look as gorgeous?” ‘charming’ as ever, wonyoung flips her hair over her shoulder with a smug look on her pretty face. you turned away, very quickly rolling your eyes before settling them back on the painting. you were impressed. you wouldn’t have guessed that wonyoung of all people would have that kind of talent, but then again, she is one of the class-toppers and nobody knows who she is exactly.

“it’s beautiful.” you admitted. you heard wonyoung chuckle, but she doesn’t say much else. you don’t look back at her, choosing to stare at her painting instead. again, something stopped you from looking further into it. wonyoung stood beside you, briefly looking at her painting with a somber look on her face before quickly covering it up with her usual cheeky, queen bitch smile. it was dead silent. did you even want to speak to her? for two weeks, you’ve resented all the attention that was given to you because of her. you’ve glared at the back of her head, cursed her in your mind whenever some students whispered about you… but somehow, you’re the one who’s tongue-tied now that you were actually alone with her.

it was confusing—feelings, that is. hell, the last real face-to-face interaction you’ve had with her was on that day. when she kissed your cheek before you got on your bus.

“wasn’t expecting you to be here, (y/n),” wonyoung unzips her pink jacket, slowly taking it off before putting it on an empty seat. you watched her from the corner of your eye, she was taking deep breaths and you could hear her. then she fixes her hair and turns around wearing a glowing smile. “but this is just perfect.” she steps towards you and instinctively, you jolted backwards.

“i-i just dropped something off for ms. kim… from ms. lim, i mean. i should get going.” well, it wasn’t going to be easy! what with wonyoung being inside your personal bubble and your heart beating so fast that you can’t quite hear your own thoughts. it didn’t help that she towered over you, and again, her perfume was a fucking weapon—rendering you immobile.

“don’t be like that, (y/n). i’m upset with you.” wonyoung says with a pout. cute, but you really shouldn’t let your stupid crush on her stop you from just getting the hell away! wonyoung was fascinated with the way your eyes wandered. she knew that no matter how angry you were with her, she was always going to have the same effect on you. and it was delicious. being able to have that much of an impact on someone. 

“you never called or texted me. i was waiting, especially after i sent you home,” wonyoung stands even closer and for a second, you actually saw some kind of emotion in her eyes. dissatisfaction, perhaps. “didn’t know you were like that, (y/n).”

“i d-didn’t even think you’d want me to contact you after… after all of that.”

“i wouldn’t have given you my number if i didn’t want you begging for more of me over the phone, dumbass.” wonyoung bumps your shoulder with her own as she walks past you. the way you looked (confused and… so fucking stupid) must’ve made her pissed, judging by the way she started dragging her equipment around with her eyebrows furrowed and eyes glaring at you every now and then. you stood there awkwardly, fiddling with the hem of your uniform. you should really leave. you had things to do at home! this wasn’t a time to waste with someone who was mad at you and someone you were mad with.

all it takes was a period of silence to remind of how much wonyoung affected your life. and suddenly all the anger was back. the longer you stood there and looked at her, the more it boiled up and threatened to tip over. but you were going to be mature. you were going to leave the classroom and go on with your life, leaving it all (wonyoung) behind.

“i have a few ideas on how you can make it up to me though.” wonyoung averts her gaze from the empty canvas in front of her to you.

given the way she was looking at you—or rather, has been looking at you, wonyoung was up to no good. and if you wanted any chance to redeem the little reputation you had in this academy, you had to be strong and not get swayed by her and her pretty little face and those soft lips and that mesmerizing pair of eyes. you shook your head, “i am not fucking with you again, wonyoung.”

the taller girl laughed, “what? did it look like i was going to make you do that? gee, (y/n), it takes one hook-up to corrupt you, huh?” wonyoung laughs, a smirk making its way to her face when she sees you glaring daggers at her. “you’re going to be my muse.” she says, crossing her arms and scanning you up and down. gosh, she didn’t even bother to hide the lust behind her stare… but you could tell that her statement wasn’t a joke.

“you’re… going to paint me?” you asked. wonyoung hums, staring right at you as she pulled her hair up to a ponytail, quietly anticipating your answer while you stood idly by the windows.

“only reason i’m here is because ms. kim has been begging for me to put something of my own up in the hallways. usually i would just refuse but the lady’s been nice to me since i stepped a foot in this school so why not? plus, what’s a better subject than my latest and possibly most popular fling?” wonyoung gives you a very sarcastic smile that makes you roll your eyes. you seriously needed to get out of here.

you were more than ready to leave until you remembered the way wonyoung’s eyes looked when she confronted you about the silence you gave her. then a pang of guilt hits you the more you think about her actions after the two of you hooked up. the walking together, the waiting together, and the kiss on the cheek. maybe attempting to cut her off was a dick move on your part…

“okay.”

wonyoung’s face visibly lights up. adorable.

“where do you want me?” you asked, blushing at the sight of the cute look on her face. all of your activities can wait. you wouldn’t have been able to live with yourself knowing that you were potentially hurting someone. albeit unintentionally and the person in question being your best slash worst nightmare.

“just sit in front of me and we’ll figure it out from there.” and so, you and wonyoung get to work. well, of course it was mostly her doing the work while you just sat on a stool and listened carefully to whatever she told you. 

oddly enough, the weight of her stare wasn’t as intimidating or nerve-wracking like it usually was. wonyoung had a certain softness in her eyes as she studied your features closely, and every time you figured that she saw something she liked, something would sparkle behind those beautiful brown eyes. watching wonyoung in what seems to be her natural environment… well, ‘unexpected’ would be the understatement of the year. you figured it would be parties and social clubs and outlet malls but then again, nobody really knew wonyoung.

getting so much as a glimpse of the untouchable popular girl was truly something. and despite everything that’s happened you find yourself feeling the way you did the first time you laid eyes on her on campus during freshman year. awestruck, with your heart nearly beating out of your chest as you desperately tried to look at something that isn’t her but ultimately failing. wonyoung gives you a smile, and it wasn’t her usual cheeky-teasing one. she looked… bashful? and is that a hint of pink on her cheeks?

it was strange to see, but you ended up smiling a little at the sight of a rare cute wonyoung. the tall girl’s cheeks show a deeper shade of pink as soon as your lips curled up in a smile, making you giggle a little. not a lot of words were shared between the two of you after that as wonyoung completely immerses herself in her work. and during that entire time you just stared at her, admiring her focused state. you wondered if she was concerned at all about making a mistake—her hand moved skillfully across the canvas with the attitude of someone that was sure about their abilities. you would hear an occasional tut partnered with a quick hum and followed by a quiet, satisfied laugh, giving you the impression that wonyoung was confident about the picture she was painting of you.

you’ve never been more curious in your life. you wanted to know how wonyoung sees you. it would be from an artist’s perspective but maybe you’ll see even a spot of how wonyoung truly sees you deep inside. especially after everything that has gone down between the two of you, and especially after her reaction to you forcing yourself to forget her existence for two weeks. it’s not like you were looking for any chance of the popular girl returning your feelings, you just wanted to know if you were anything to her at all. maybe you’ll get to know it here.

“(y/n),” wonyoung snaps you back into reality. she beckons you over with a proud look on her face. “come over here. see if you like it.”

soon enough, you were standing beside wonyoung, staring at the most impressive painting in the room. it was you; sitting on that stool wearing a gentle smile, but almost half of your entire form was covered by a slightly see-through curtain and the tiniest streams of sunlight. at first glance, the painting looks incomplete or rather, abruptly finished but it looks perfect in your eyes. and on wonyoung’s eyes too, judging by the way she looked at her own work with approval.

“it’s beautiful, wonyoung.” you said with a grateful smile.

“mhm. it’s y—” wonyoung pauses, and clears her throat. “obviously.” she said, chuckling awkwardly and flipping her hair over her shoulder with less flair than usual. you did not know what the hell that was all about. (“it’s you.” wonyoung wanted to say. but she bit her tongue real quick. why? well, jang wonyoung was not one to try to woo a nerd of all things like that! but really though—it’s you. of course it’s beautiful.)

you were admiring the painting some more and the longer you did, the more you noticed just how many details wonyoung put into it. from the slight crinkle of your eyes while you’re smiling down to that tiny little scar you had on your right cheek. amazing.

“w-wait, you’re going to put this up in this building?” you asked, now blushing wildly. it’s not even that you were embarrassed of having your face put up in the fine hallways of this campus (there have been many instances of your face being plastered everywhere because of your very impressive achievements as an honor student). it’s the fact that wonyoung was involved in all of this that makes it all complicated.

“no.”

surprised, you looked at wonyoung with slightly widened eyes. she worked hard for this painting for the sole reason of putting it up, and now she won’t? maybe she sensed your discomfort at the thought of putting up a painting of you made by wonyoung, which you know would just repeat the never-ending nightmare of being surrounded by rumors all over again. you would ask the tall girl to give you a reason why, but you noticed that she was standing closer to you now, eyes darkened and very much drawing you in.

just like last time.

“for my eyes only.” wonyoung says quietly. she was referring to the painting, sure, but she was looking at you the entire time. the implication makes your face heat up, and suddenly you’re finding it hard to do anything else except to just stand there. obnoxiously close to wonyoung with your eyes constantly flickering up and down from her eyes to her lips. you remember what those lips taste like, how they feel moving against yours. what you would give to feel and taste them all over again.

“i need a break,” wonyoung’s gaze pierces through your own, inviting you in. “don’t you?”

and all it took was the slightest nod of your head for wonyoung to lock your lips in a searing kiss with her own.

god, it felt like your chest collapsed within itself. your hands immediately cup wonyoung’s cheeks, and having learned a few things from the last time you kissed her, you were much, much better at keeping up with her despite your heartbeat running a mile a minute. wonyoung’s own hands were on your hips, pulling you closer until she started undoing the ribbon on your uniform. then, she unbuttoned your shirt, forcing herself out of the kiss and putting her lips on your neck as she did so. it was hard trying to keep yourself quiet with the way wonyoung nibbled and softly sucked on your skin… which was why you just stopped trying.

“ahh… mhm, wonyoung…” your moans were met with a hum from the taller girl, whose kisses now reached your chest.

“you missed me, didn’t you?” wonyoung whispers against your skin, leaving a mark just below your collarbone where she likes it best. she tilts her head up, lips hovering over your own, only touching slightly. “you missed mommy?”

fuck, that was gonna do you in.

too embarrassed to truly admit it all, you nodded, which earned you a pout mixed with a glare from wonyoung. “i’m gonna let that go once. you’re lucky i missed you more.” eventually, you found your waist pressed against a lone desk while wonyoung continues to kiss you. you were topless now, what with wonyoung discarding your white shirt somewhere on the floor.

“w-what if ms. kim comes in…?” you asked when you felt wonyoung’s hand sliding up your thigh. surely she won’t be as careless as last time, right? the two of you were barely hiding! the curtains didn’t leave much to the imagination and the door was only halfway closed… if you weren’t careful with your mouth, some unlucky soul passing by will catch the two of you and you really don’t know if you can handle more of that. maybe you were naive to expect wonyoung to change within two weeks, because right after you asked your stupid little question, wonyoung had pulled down your panties and unclasped your bra from behind. goodness, she works fast.

the tall girl decided not to waste time and completely disregarded your question. “up.” she taps your hip, urging you to sit on top of the desk behind you. as you were getting yourself settled, wonyoung takes the opportunity to stare at you. you were as cute as ever—flushed cheeks, messy hair, lips quivering, and pretty eyes glossy with anticipation, even though you tried to disguise it with uncertainty. wonyoung couldn’t believe how easy it has been to knock down your defenses. she was so sure that even she, the jang wonyoung, was going to get rejected and embarrassed for the very first time in that library, given your reputation as a hardass.

but alas, she always gets what she wants in the end. as she should!

you pull wonyoung closer, eager to feel her lips on yours again. then she allows you to kiss her, doing the same exact thing as last time—staying still and letting you do what you want. wonyoung noticed that your kiss was softer, more careful. you were holding her face so gently, caressing her cheek with your thumb before letting your hands fall to her shoulders, giving the control back to her. it warmed her heart in a way that took her by surprise, but that was nothing compared to the pure amusement she felt when she caught you untying her ribbon.

“you’re brave today, hm?” wonyoung whispered with a smirk. she doesn’t stop you, though! she holds your stare as you let her ribbon drop to the ground, and then you start unbuttoning her shirt so excruciatingly slow. you stopped halfway through, only getting to see a little bit of wonyoung’s crimson red bra before putting your lips on her neck. and finally, for the first time, you heard her whimper.

you couldn’t see it as you were busy kissing her neck, but wonyoung was a blushing mess. she never whimpers! but with your sudden courage and the way you left the softest and sweetest kisses on her neck, wonyoung couldn’t hide it. “are you… marking me up?” wonyoung asked with a giggle.

immediately, you stopped, staring at her with half-widened eyes. “is that okay…?”

wonyoung would’ve called you stupid if the sound of her own loud heartbeat didn’t render her speechless. “don’t tell me you’re going to ask for permission if you so much as want to put your hand on my waist or something.” wonyoung said. she can imagine it clearly in her head, actually! you were too polite for your own good.

“well, consent is important—”

“yeah, yeah. how about you use that pretty mouth of yours for something worth my time, dummy?” wonyoung urges you to kiss her again, craning her neck to give you access. and you did it happily! you were so obviously excited that even wonyoung thought it was endearing, laughing lightly as you gently sucked on her soft skin. you did that for a while. how could you stop, anyway? the mix of wonyoung’s sighs, feeling her thin, dainty fingers smoothly threading your hair, and her other hand laying still on your thigh, squeezing ever so often when you do something she likes… well, suffice to say that it was almost impossible to stop.

leaning back, you stare at your work. the sight of your marks on wonyoung’s neck only made your core buzz, making you not-so-subtly close your legs. wonyoung regains her composure, eyes darkened once again before she forces her legs open, one hand slowly sliding deeper up your inner thighs while the other keeps your legs apart. “since you’ve had your fun… naturally, it’s my turn now, correct?” and of course you were nodding your head eagerly like an obedient pet, just how she likes it.

your breath gets caught in your throat when wonyoung cups one of your breasts in her hand, her face dangerously close to the other one, more than ready to pleasure you. “i was thinking of being nice since i missed you… but you made me upset with your stupid tantrum over the last time we fucked,” wonyoung feigns a smile and a shiver runs down your spine. “so, to truly make it up to me… you’re going to take  everything i’m giving to you today.”

scary. terrifying even, but how could you say no? the (y/n) of two hours ago would be really disappointed of you but fuck it. wonyoung’s got you wrapped around her finger once again and you’re going to let it happen again.

only moans escape your lips as wonyoung’s warm mouth closes around your nipple. a new sensation, and it was wonderful. you found yourself hugging wonyoung’s neck, pushing her face impossibly closer while she licked and sucked as she pleases. your cunt clenches around nothing, and you buck your hips slightly just to urge wonyoung to touch you down there even a little bit but you should’ve expected that she wouldn’t care about that. her hands were rather busy! one played with your other nipple while the other held your thigh in a grip so tight that it almost hurt.

wonyoung releases your nipple from her mouth, her lips now attacking your chest area with little bites. you weren’t opposed to it. in fact, the frustrated look on wonyoung’s face was a delight to see! “should’ve known you were going to be a pussy about it all… wouldn’t have waited up all night for your text if i did.” wonyoung tightens her grip on your thigh, making you wince. but the pain was quickly overshadowed by pleasure as the tall girl pulled on your nipple.

“how was i supposed to accept that you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore…? you were screaming my name so sweetly in the library… and i was in your head after all of that, right?” wonyoung briefly lets go of your thigh to pull your hair down, forcing you to meet her eyes. “i know you did… in the end, the campus’ smart goody-two-shoes is just a fucking slut in the making, isn’t she?”

wonyoung’s eyes shine with excitement upon seeing you look at her so desperately. she knew that you’d never take any insult if you were in your right mind… and it only turned her on when you said nothing to her, your head so clouded that you’d allow wonyoung to say anything she wants to you. the tall girl spreads your legs apart, staring at your glistening pussy before her hungry eyes pierce back into your own. “and to think that you wanted to leave when you’re all drenched like this! what would you have done if i let you go? surely not touch yourself,” wonyoung laughs, but it was a cold and mocking one. your cheeks flush with embarrassment since she was right—you can’t bear to touch yourself, which is why you’re so desperate to have her fuck you already. “you need me, and i want a pretty doll i can play with however i like. let’s help each other out, (y/n)-ah.”

wonyoung doesn’t wait for you to say anything (of course she doesn’t) and starts massaging your clit with her thumb. you gasped at the sensation, holding onto her arms and almost closing your legs up. you try to control your sounds this time around, all that left your mouth were the usual pathetic whimpering and panting but at least you weren’t loud! wonyoung didn’t like that, though. she presses her thumb harder against your clit, making you whine loudly. “that’s more like it.” the tall girl muttered under her breath. the longer she pleasured your clit, the sooner you were losing control of yourself. and eventually you were just giving into what your body wants—grinding against wonyoung’s hand, pulling her closer so you can kiss her…

you gasped sharply as wonyoung plunged her two fingers inside your cunt, and she was giggling at how you were wrinkling her shirt up due to how tight you were holding onto her. fuck did it feel good to be filled up. when wonyoung curls her long fingers inside you, you clamped your hand over your mouth, afraid of alerting anyone who may be lurking around. annoyed, wonyoung swats your hand away, “come on, i don’t want to punish you so early.” none of what she was saying went through to your head. and it wasn’t even because you were trying to be a disobedient brat but because of her pace.

she snaps her wrist with each thrust, enough to make sure that you feel every inch of her fingers inside you before pulling out. it was hard to focus on anything, even more so when wonyoung’s pretty brown eyes were raking all over your body, getting familiar with your features once again. it wasn’t everyday something catches her eye so easily, but when she entered that secluded room in the library and had the luxury of staring at you while you were asleep, she was charmed. not even she thought that she would have you on top of this table merely two weeks later—writhing under her touch and moaning her name, but wonyoung quite liked this outcome.

why, after you were so good for her the first time she fucked you, you’ve been on her mind!

“a-ah..! wonyoung…” your sweet voice snaps the tall girl back to reality. you’ve completely wrapped your arms around her neck now, how precious. wonyoung puts her lips to work, wanting to taste your skin once again. and that she does! giving you kisses from your cheek, to your jawline, to the crook of your neck and all that the way down to your chest. conveniently, the desk was long enough for wonyoung to be able to pull you down so you’d be lying back comfortably. she towers above you, a grin on her lips as she watches you try to hold on to your climax.

it was so glaringly obvious that you were close. with the way your walls clenched around wonyoung’s fingers, a few more thrusts should do it. and that made wonyoung way more upset than you can imagine. there was no way you were going to make this so short, right? but she feels it. not only have you dug your nails on her free wrist trying to hold onto her, you’ve also started whining very loudly. wonyoung, annoyed, wriggles out of your painful hold and shoves her thumb inside your mouth, effectively shutting you up. drool starts dripping down along your jawline—wonyoung wasn’t going to let you off easy judging by how she pressed her thumb flat and hard down on your tongue.

“we’re gonna make this last, baby,” wonyoung says. she sees the tears pooling in your eyes and it only makes her feel warm inside. she was getting so excited to have her way with you, and a few tears wouldn’t stop her. “and everyone’s going to know again. i know you don’t like that but this time… they’ll know you’re mine.”

wonyoung didn’t plan on saying that last part out loud but thankfully enough, you were way too busy moaning her name to even hear it. a knot tightens in your stomach and you gasp, the sensation becoming all too familiar with you now. wonyoung pulls her thumb out of your mouth and slowly slides a third finger inside your cunt—and then there it was.

“aww…” wonyoung cooed as you came all over her hand. but she doesn’t stop any of her movements. instead, she leans down, catching one of your nipples with her mouth and continuing on fingering you through your orgasm.

“f-fuck..! wonyoung, w-wait…!!” you clawed helplessly at her back. amidst your hopeless whining and moaning, wonyoung just giggles. her eyes flicker up to get a brief glance of your face, her own core clenching at how tight you’ve closed your eyes, how you’ve bitten your lower lip to the point of it hurting. she absolutely loved getting to see you undone piece by piece… even more so when you allow it to happen. which is what you finally do as you bury your hands in wonyoung’s hair, pushing her further down your chest and whimpering sweetly at every flick of her tongue on your nipples.

wonyoung wasn’t letting her hand rest, however. she keeps fingering you in a semi-fast pace, hoping to edge you closer to another orgasm. clearly, she was taking advantage of your dazed state and in all honesty, of her own adrenaline-driven state. in her right mind, she would have let you cum the first time and stop there since she knew you can’t handle too much of what she can really give you but god… wonyoung just has to see you fall apart completely under her.

“someone learned a few things from last time, hm?” wonyoung teased as she gently massaged your clit in circles with her thumb. “you’re taking it so well. good.”

you gasped loudly as she plunges her fingers knuckle-deep inside your walls again, now thrusting faster than ever. wonyoung completely gets lost at the feeling of your warmth around her fingers. with her towering above you, she was distracting enough for your mind to wander elsewhere. every so often you’d notice the way she slightly bit her lower lip, whimper quietly, and huff as she fucked you… and as your eyes trail down lower (as low as you could, anyway), you saw that the tall girl had been clenching her thighs together. gods, wonyoung looked so hot being desperate like this.

it made you blush, how much she wanted to feel as good as she was making you feel good. next time, you are going to make sure to return the favor. it was what she deserves, as much of a pain in the ass she was.

“are you okay, (y/n)…?” wonyoung, concerned that you have spaced out, asked. her thrusts have slowed and her eyes are now softer.

you nodded meekly, “yes, mommy.” the nickname slipped out so naturally that it caught wonyoung off guard. and was she… blushing? flustered, even?

(wonyoung wouldn’t even know where to start if someone were to ask about the hold you have on her. it almost sucks that you don’t know about it, but wonyoung’s pride wouldn’t let her admit it outright. not yet, anyway.)

“we’re almost done.” wonyoung regains her composure. she completely pins one of your wrists down with her free hand, the other ramming inside your walls out of control, and her forehead nearly touching yours while you moaned helplessly. with your one hand, you clutched the edge of the desk, refusing to hurt wonyoung any further because you knew you would make her blood had you decided to hold onto her with the way she was abusing your pussy. wonyoung chuckles slightly at how smoothly her fingers went in and out of you—her hand was completely drenched in your cum and wetness. she was practically drooling at the thought of getting to taste you.

wonyoung would rather do it from the source, but she knew you wouldn’t be able to handle her mouth. not at this state. and not with all the things she wants to do to you with her tongue alone.

she feels you clenching around her again, and she watches as tears squeeze out of your eyes. she kisses them away, whispering some comforting words in your ear before she thrusts her fingers knuckle-deep inside you. wonyoung intertwines your fingers since she knew you’d need it as you came all over her hand once again. unlike last time, wonyoung makes sure her hand is still, only pulling out as you’ve started to calm down a little. your eyes wandered all over the ceiling, still trying to get a sense of things. you could feel wonyoung’s eyes on you though, but you couldn’t tell what she was doing.

so ‘surprised’ would be an understatement when you feel her clothed, wet cunt pressed against your knee. wonyoung smiles bashfully as she slightly grinds her clit on your knee. hell, she nearly fucked you into unconsciousness—she shouldn’t have anything to be afraid of doing now. even if she has to become this spectacle for you.

“j-just need to… do something about this.” wonyoung says. her voice was a bit higher from her whines, obviously feeling so good that she can’t help but show this new side of herself. underneath her, you were a bit rattled but completely flustered and quite confused as to what you should do. not that you could do anything, anyway. you couldn’t really feel your legs and your head was still getting itself situated. you were basically watching wonyoung grind herself into you… and it was heaven.

wonyoung meets your stare and grins, “liking the show, babe?” she teased. she giggled when you covered your face with your other hand, you were so red. but you were brazen enough to raise your knee slightly and pressed it against her clit, making her moan out loud for the first time. a smile of satisfaction spreads on your face—you finally heard wonyoung make that kind of sound!

“cheeky little doll.” wonyoung says before leaning down and kissing you. she stops her grinding, having had enough for now and slowly pulls you to sit up, carefully.

much like the last time this happened, nothing much was said afterwards. you were merely hugging wonyoung while you recovered, and you’d smile every time you felt her leave feathery-light kisses across your shoulder and draw random circles on your lower back. wonyoung allowed you to hold her for as long as you needed, never worrying about how the sky has turned orange or the supposed project she was assigned to start today for ms. kim. a gust of wind seeps through the slightly open windows and you shiver. 

finally, wonyoung pulled away. “let’s get you dressed up. ms. kim should be on her way anyway.” she helps you stand on both feet and picks up the random pieces of clothing scattered around the area, almost scolding herself for throwing them around haphazardly. wonyoung was the one who buttons up your shirt, makes sure your skirt is all nice and tidy, ties up your ribbon perfectly, and styles your hair as if it was never a mess. and then she decides that you would look cute with a bit of lip tint—but also because you needed a good excuse to give people if they so happen to ask you why your lips were so red and fucked up.

you stayed still as wonyoung dolled you up. it was strange though, because at this point, she has fucked you three times and you’ve bravely looked at her in the eye then but now you can’t. every time her eyes flicker over to yours, you blink and set them elsewhere. you can’t tell her about how your pussy clenches under her gaze. you can’t tell her that if she does something so simple as this, helping a fellow girl to look presentable, it turns you on. and it probably wasn’t even because nice-and-friendly wonyoung was a rarity! it was because of that damn crush. and how you can still feel her hands all over you but ugh, you’re so tired of coming to that conclusion. 

you get it: you are morbidly obsessed with how wonyoung makes you feel! god, can i be any more pathetic?

“you’ll text me this time, right?” wonyoung asks after she is done. she has also gotten herself look as perfect as she always does. 

“i can’t exactly escape you now, can i?”

“mhm! glad you’re aware of that.” wonyoung puts on an exaggerated smile, but really, she was excited. 

you then pulled out your phone and sent wonyoung a simple ‘hi’ text message. “there. happy?” you mimicked her fake smile.

“ecstatic, actually.” wonyoung replied with a straight face as she stared blankly at your useless message. she saves your number and suddenly snaps a quick photo of you without warning, setting it as her contact photo for you. when you tried to sneak a peek, wonyoung moved away from you with a laugh, and saved your name as ‘dum’ on her phone, even waving it all over your face and laughing even more at your disgruntled reaction. how mature… and endearing.

when silence started to fill the air, you almost wanted to ask wonyoung a few things about this whole… thing. whatever it was. as much as you liked the whole doll talk earlier, you didn’t exactly understand it. were the two of you going to be friends-with-benefits now? well, more like barely-acquaintances-with-benefits. was wonyoung going to make a habit of cornering you at some isolated place and fuck you? because really, you‘d prefer a small warning before she starts using you. confused as you were, you didn’t let a word slip. you just stood there, watching wonyoung as she put up an empty canvas on the easel.

“is it okay if i rest for a bit before leaving?” you asked in a quiet voice. wonyoung nods as she pulls her hair up for a half-ponytail, only briefly looking at your figure as you walk past her to sit on the instructor’s chair at the front of the classroom.

“i’d insist on taking you home but you seem to adore public transportation.” wonyoung quipped from behind her canvas.

“you’d only find some excuse to touch me again in your car so yes, maybe i prefer taking the bus rather than that.” you replied. attempting to avoid thinking about wonyoung’s hands all over you while you sat on the passenger seat of her car was futile, thank goodness she was focused on whatever project she was working on.

“thanks for the idea.” oh you just knew wonyoung had a stupid smile on her face thinking about it all. that pervert!

although you would be lying if you said you weren’t into the idea, but that was something the two of you should save for much, much later.

for the rest of your time there, you merely sat on ms. kim’s chair. sometimes you watched wonyoung even though you couldn’t see much of her face. occasionally, however, she would peek from above the canvas to check on you and you wouldn’t look away like you usually would. you would hold her gaze, smiling softly before gazing at the setting sun outside. the only thing that was on your mind was how everything has changed now. whether it was for the better or for worse, you couldn’t tell yet.

there was no use dwelling on it. you simply have to see where things go. one thing was for sure though: jang wonyoung wasn’t going to be out of your life so easily.

you pondered on that chair for a while before you finally decided to leave. you promised wonyoung that you would text her as soon as you got home, and you knew that even though she barely gave you a glance since she was so focused, she was happy that you promised that. while you headed for the door, you felt wonyoung’s eyes follow you until you were completely gone. but even as you walked through the empty hallways once again the hair on the back of your neck stood on end and you found yourself stopping in your tracks completely on top of a flight of stairs.

“that… really all just happened. again.” you mumbled. ugh, your ears felt hot. your cheeks too. matter of fact, your entire body was just warm.

“what happened?” a chipper voice nearly makes you jump out of your skin. ms. kim has suddenly appeared beside you. you hadn’t noticed that she was already there when you turned to the corner.

“o-oh! ms. kim, hello,” you greeted, hand clutching your chest. “ah, right. i dropped off your lunch bag. ms. lim said you forgot it earlier.”

“really? thank you, (y/n). she must be very busy if she couldn’t visit me herself. i’ll make sure to tell her that you did well delivering my food.” the art teacher pats your shoulder. her smile was striking and infectious—no wonder ms. lim always looked so lovesick around her!

“no need. it’s no problem at all,” you glanced at the giant clock on the other side of the wall and felt panic rise from the bottom of your stomach. “my bus should be making its way to the stop now. have a good day, ms. kim!” and so you were off to running as fast as you could to catch your ride, leaving the art teacher baffled but quite amused at the stairs.

“never seen (y/n) a bit loose in the head like that before.”

inside the art room, wonyoung has gotten busy. the tiniest specks of paint decorated her face, her hands had become quite the mess but what mattered was the picture she was creating. she was quite surprised with herself. only earlier did she feel that familiar rush of creating something with efficiency—when she was painting you. she was feeling it again, and it was great. it has been quite some time before she felt that rush. as rich her mind was with concepts, wonyoung found it hard to materialize them in a painting for some reason. maybe she was just lazy. maybe the pictures in her head just weren’t clear enough.

but somehow you of all people—of all things, really—made it all so very clear.

“ah, the things a good pussy does to the human mind.” wonyoung laughs at her own words. she couldn’t wait to bother you all night long later.

“i knew it!”

once again, ms. kim has surprised a student. fortunately enough, wonyoung didn’t make a mistake and only flinched slightly. “hello, ms. kim.” the tall girl greeted. she doesn’t take her eyes off her canvas since she knew that the teacher was already sauntering towards her with that contagious energy she always has.

“wow. i half expected you to be struggling for inspiration as usual but you actually got somewhere!” ms. kim pats wonyoung’s head, very much satisfied at wonyoung’s progress with her work. oddly enough, wonyoung found herself blushing deeply letting ms. kim look at a personal piece from her so freely. not that she gave a fuck about keeping up her reputation even with the teachers, but jang wonyoung was nothing if not so stubbornly prideful.

because no! she cannot bear being teased about painting (y/n) (l/n) for the second time in the same day!

“is that…”

wonyoung’s blush get deeper. here it comes.

“she did say she came by this room… i see!” ms. kim laughs and nudges wonyoung’s arm, teasing the girl as if she was some kid who was having a crush for the first time in her life. incorrect, by the way! because jang wonyoung doesn’t do crushes. 

the art teacher leans back and allows herself to fully take in her student’s work. it was a beautiful painting of you, surrounded by orange and yellow colors, looking lost in thought as you gazed out the window. your face was slightly obscured by the curtain, similar to the previous painting of you that she has done. perhaps a clue as to how wonyoung truly sees you.

“never thought you’d want a muse, wonyoung! but she’s not just that, is she?”

wonyoung settles her palette and paintbrush on an empty stool, exhaling and stretching her sore shoulders. now, she wasn’t the one getting fucked but damn, did you exhaust her too! it was in the good way at least, so wonyoung can’t really be mad at you. with you in her sick little head, wonyoung offers a mischievous smile to her teacher, “my cute little secret is what she is.”

[kalki-tarot]

Messages from the universe 💌

pick a picture. 1 - 2 - 3

The images I use to select a pile are from Pinterest, I hope the readings will resonate with you. I'm not responsible for any decisions you make in your life from my readings. I'm just a beginner and these readings are just for fun. Take only what resonates.

Tap on Masterlist for more !

Pile 1

You'll be presented many new opportunities to earn money and gain abundance. Your life will be filled with positivity, you'll be very happy and content with whatever you receive. Just keep up with the positive attitude towards life and things will work out smoothly. You'll make rapid progress and you'll gain momentum. Sudden and rapid shifts will take place. Be ready and go with the flow. Bad times have already passed away, now it's time to rise and shine.

For your love life, if you are in an unstable relationship, or an on and off situationship, please leave this person asap. They'll drain your energy. Beware of the energy vampires. This person is themselves juggling between things and is unstable and they'll disbalance your life too. Do some self introspection. Know why you attract certain kind of people. And break this pattern. Take your time to realize things, don't hurry. Your creative side will bloom and you'll do much better at work as you'll let go of toxic things. Please take care of yourself, don't hurt or harm yourself by letting these kind of people stay in your life.

Pile 2

Damn pile 2, universe can feel your excitement and confident energy. You're wanting to have some new, fiery adventures in life. Universe likes this positive and energetic energy of yours. You're diligence will grant you abundance in life. You're gonna get successful in whatever field You're from. Try to avoid unnecessary arguments and fights. Don't make people your enemies. I think something bad had just happened in your life. Things will start to calm down for you. You're moving towards stability in life now. Your sadness or disappointment will not last long, it will turn into something better and abundant.

Regarding your love life, there is someone at your work place or someone you collaborated with or will collaborate in future. They have an eye on you. This person is someone famous and well known by everybody. They're impressed by your work ethics or performance. They have great love for you. They think you both have that potential. They like your giving, helping and humanitarian nature.

Pile 3

You're manifestations will come very soon. This is a confirmation for you. If you asked for financial stability or abundance, you're gonna receive it very-very soon. Your investments will come to fruition. You'll reap the fruits of your hard work. Please take some rest and time to relax. Your health might get affected if you keep exhausting yourself. Some shocking news in on the way. Something about the divine timing. You'll be offered something which will make you shocked.

For your love life, i dont know for how many of you will this resonate but I'm really sorry for this. We have the tower, the magician, 9 swords and strength. I get two meanings for this. First one is, you may get heartbroken or cheated by someone. And the second is, Someone new will enter your life to heal your traumas and past heartbreaks. This can a new love interest. Please take what resonates. Whatever the situation is, you cannot lose your strength. You can go through this, don't loose hope. This is not your fault. Karma exists for people who do bad. Take things or situations as a lesson to teach you something.

[theitgirlnetwork]

Better

Chapter 8: Future Stuff

Note: Hellooo! Thank you all once again so much for all of the love I'm getting on this story. Everyone is so sweet I could actually throw up so thank you. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. All of the reblogs, notes, comments, messages really motivate me, and I'm so thankful. It's so fun writing this. The only warnings are implied sexual content and strong language but MDNI fr fr. This story is not for the children. Alsooo, I think I figured out the tag list situation, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. So its down below, anyone else who would like to be added, please let me know <3

Taglist:

@th3h0nkz @yezzyyae@comeonatmebruh

Ian and Mickey stare forward at the TV as Lip continues to bounce his leg and blow a cloud of smoke into the air. Mickey irritably fans the air in front of him, cutting his eyes to Ian who silently pleads to him not to say anything. A few more seconds pass and the cheap couch continues to rattle and Mickey gets fed up.

“Fuck! Gallagher, go, don’t go, cheat, don’t cheat, we don’t fuckin’ care!” He yells, ignoring Ian’s glare. “I mean, I’ll fuckin’ tell the princess in a heartbeat, but you sittin’ hear, shittin’ your pants over a phone call is makin’ me wanna kill you.”

“Fuck off Mickey.”

Mickey turns to the blond, only to have his boyfriend place his hand on his chest, shoving him lightly into the other direction, gesturing for him to go upstairs. Ian huffs as Mickey flicks him off before storming up the steps to his room, taking his beer with him. 

The redhead sits back down next to his brother, sighing as he opens his own drink. “Are you gonna?”

Lip looks up, hand buried in his hair for probably the fiftieth time that night. “Gonna what?”

“Cheat. On Charlotte with that old bitch Helene.”

Lip shakes his head quietly, taking a drag from his blunt before passing it over to Ian. “No.” he sniffs. “And uh, Helene didn’t get me kicked out, alright?”

“Okay.” Ian shrugs, grabbing the blunt. “But she didn’t help.”

“Nah.” Lip nods, blue eyes surrounded by red, bloodshot from the lack of sleep he got over the past few days. “She didn’t. But uh, she didn’t say much on the phone. Just that she needs to talk to me. Figured I should see what it’s about. Not a big deal.”

“Is that why you’re pullin’ your hair out and hotboxin’ our living room?” Ian asks, releasing the smoke from his nose.  “Did you tell her?”

“No.” Lip sighs, scrubbing his hand down his face. He reaches over and snatches the blunt from Ian before he could take another pull. “And you won’t either, alright? It’s not a big deal and I’m just gonna tell her to fuck off. Don’t need to freak Bunny out for nothin’.”

Lip had been lamenting over Helene’s call for the past few days.He’d gone silent on the phone in shock when she confirmed it was her and was even more surprised when she asked to meet with him to discuss something. The last time he’d talked to her, she’d ended things and ignored him while he screamed and pleaded for her back outside of her house. It was fucking humiliating. He wanted to show her he was better now. He wanted to show he wasn’t some desperate loser and he didn’t fucking need her, her leaving didn’t fucking faze him. 

He knew he could do that and stay loyal to Charlotte. 

But apparently Ian and Mickey had no faith in him. He didn’t know why he fucking told them in the first place. 

Maybe because he’d hoped it would help get rid of the rock in his stomach he felt every time he spoke to Charlotte and didn’t tell her his sort’ve ex/professor had hit him up to meet.

Lip is used to the feeling of guilt and shame, it comes with the Gallagher territory. A low hum of those two feelings stay with them always. But this feeling was worse. It was loud and aggressive. It was pounding in his ears each time his girlfriend’s sweet voice came through the phone. So, he already felt like shit. He doesn’t need Ian and his cling-on fucking riding him.

“Doesn’t seem like it’s for nothin’ Seems like somethin’ she should know.” Ian shrugs, snatching it back.

“Yeah, just because you’re Mickey’s bitch, doesn’t mean I’m Charlotte’s. Alright? I’ve got it-”

“Fuck you.” Ian frowns, shoving his brother, looking affronted when he shoves him back. 

The two boys begin pushing and shoving at each other, standing from the couch to get into each other’s faces. Voices raising and carrying throughout the house. The front door swings open and a tired Fiona storms through, Liam in her arms, shoving between the two of them. “Uh uh, I just worked for 8 hours with no break while tryin’ to watch Liam. I do not come home to you fighting.” 

The older girl places Liam on the steps, patting his back and telling him to go upstairs and wait for her to tuck him in. She turns back to her other brothers, watching them glare at each other. “What the fuck is the issue?” Lip clenches his jaw irritably, looking away from his sister. He knows that Ian isn’t going to say anything and he does not feel like hearing Fiona bitch about Helene or make some smart ass comment about him already fucking up with Charlotte. “Fuck, fine, whatever. I don’t care what you have going on, Christmas is in two days, you’re not gonna fuck up the vibe in the house for Carl, Debbie and Liam. And make sure you have your shit together on the gift front.” 

Ian pushes past Lip, knocking his shoulder and heading toward the stairs, “I’ve got my shit covered.”

Fiona watches him go up the stairs before looking back to Lip with an expectant expression. “And you?”

The blond huffs out a breath, “I’m handling it.” 

And at the time, he really thought he was.

“It was really nice to see her.” Charlotte smiles, pouring water onto one of the plants on her parent’s patio before moving on to the next. The other side of the line is quiet and she pauses in her motion, pushing her phone closer to her ear. “Bub?”

“Huh?” there’s shuffling on the other end of the line for a few moments before the sound of her boyfriend returns. “That’s good, bunny.”

The woman rolls her eyes, setting down the watering can onto the table and pulling out a seat to sit in. “You’re not listening, Phillip.”

“Yeah I am.”

“Yeah? What’d I say.”

He hums for a moment before raising his voice lightly, attempting to mimic hers. “Phillip, I miss you so much, I can’t wait until I can see you again and climb on top of your big, hard-”

“Yeah, I don’t talk like that. That must be your other girlfriend.” She laughs. Charlotte waits to hear the deep chuckle that she’s grown to love and is only met with awkward silence. “Phillip?”

“Uh, yeah. I’ve actually got to go.”

“Oh.” Charlotte frowns, biting at her thumbnail nervously. She doesn’t like the sound of his voice. He’d been being weird for the last couple of days and she didn’t know where it was coming from. Was it because of that one phone call? Was it too much? Too little? Did she do something wrong? The reasonable side of her told her that the distance might be just getting to him. Their relationship had started with her leaving for an undetermined amount of time. They began with a goodbye, it definitely was wearing on her, it would be reasonable for it to be affecting Lip as well. “Okay, I’ll talk to you later? And um, please remember to get the presents I got for everyone out of my room at V’s okay? S’not much-”

“Okay, so uh, you’re definitely not gonna be back for Christmas?” he asks. 

Charlotte sighs, leaning her chin on her hand and toying with the fabric of her shirt. “I dunno. M’sorry.”

“It’s fine. I’ll call you later. Bye, baby.”

As the line goes dead Charlotte groans to herself. As much as she’s enjoyed being home with her parents, she was starting to get antsy. Putting aside how badly she misses Lip, she misses everyone else and her freedom too. Being back in her parents home made her feel like a child again, unable to make decisions about anything. What time to wake up, what to eat, what to wear. She needs a break from her break.

And honestly, she wants the chance to take her new relationship seriously. And she can’t do that while they’re however any miles apart. 

Settled into her new resolve, Charlotte pushes out of her seat and opens the screen door to her house. She looks around the lower level, finding that no one is there and heads up the stairs to look for her mother. She finds her mother in the office and knocks on the heavy wooden door before entering. “Hi, Mom.” 

Charlotte’s mother looks up from her laptop, pausing to push her glasses up on her nose. “Hi, honey, what’s up?”

“Um,” Charlotte shifts on her feet uneasily, running a finger along the paint on the door frame. “I need to talk to you about something.”

Lip takes a deep breath as he stands outside of the café, pocketing his phone as he weighs out the different ways this scenario can play out in his head. 

Best case scenario, he goes in there, Helene looks fuckin’ awful, he tells her where she can shove it and maybe throws in a picture of his new sexy ass girlfriend that he’s fucking obsessed with, conveniently leaving out that he’s unsure if she’s ever coming back to Chicago.

Worst case scenario, she looks amazing, he doesn’t even get to mention Charlotte and this was some kind of sick test that he failed by showing up. His girlfriend emerges from some back room or something and dumps him on the spot for even showing up to talk to his ex. And she…he doesn’t know, starts fucking Helene’s husband or something. 

That last part can’t happen. Lip is pretty sure he’d kill him.

Another minute passes by before he decides to finally go into the shop. Quiet, boring cafe music is softly playing and the smell of coffee fills his nostrils. 

“Lip, over here.” a voice calls over to him.

Lip follows the voice over to a table in the left corner of the restaurant and finds Helene, seated, already sipping a coffee, an untouched mug on the opposite side of the table. He makes his way over and slowly slides into the seat opposite of her. “Uh, hey.”

The older woman offers him a kind smile, drumming her fingers on her cup. Lip absently notices that her wedding ring is not on her finger. “Hi. How are you?”

He looks up, dragging his eyes away from her hand. “Fine, I uh, can’t complain. How have you been?”

“Overall I’ve been well.” Lip nods quietly at her response and starts scanning the room, looking everywhere but her. He hadn’t accounted for this being so weird. A couple beats pass before she speaks again. “Okay, well I think we’re a little too familiar for this to be so uncomfortable. That coffee is for you by the way. It’s black with no sugar the way you like it.”

“Actually,” Lip cuts in, glancing down at the cup. “I don’t take it like that anymore. I, uh, like it sweeter now.” 

Helene’s eyebrows shoot up, “Oh. Okay, we could send it back-”

“Nah, I’ll drink it.” He shrugs, trying to hide his grimace as the bitter liquid fills his mouth, briefly wondering how he used to chug this shit when he was with her. 

“Okay.” Helene shifts in her seat a little, leaning forward. “Tell me what else has changed since we last spoke.”

Lip licks his lips, looking around before letting his blue eyes land back on her. “I uh, left school, or they kicked me out for something…unrelated. So yeah, I’m working. Moved back to Southside.”

“Do you like what you do?” 

“It helps pay bills. Nothing in my field but, it works.” he shrugs again. “Are you, uh back at the school?”

Helene smoothes her left hand over her hair, and his eyes drift back to her empty ring finger. “Yes, I’ve returned as an adjunct, but they’re keeping a close watch on me so you can understand that’s a little bit awkward. But um, I’ve been working through some things since the last time I spoke to you-”

“Right, that was a contingency for you to get your job back, right? The therapy?” Lip bites. He doesn’t know where the comment comes from but he shocks himself and Helene.

“Yes…it was. And I think I owe you an apology.” she says softly.

Lip sits up straighter in his seat. “Okay.”

“I’m sorry, I should have spoken to you, and allowed you to explain what happened. I requested for you to communicate and exhibit maturity throughout our relationship and didn’t extend the same respect to you.” Helene waits for Lip to react, to accept, say something, but all he offers her is another quiet nod. “I’ve learned I have a habit of having high expectations for what people should do for me and very low tolerance for error. It’s likely what caused this relationship to fail and certainly what ruined my marriage.”

The blond looks up at that, immediately alerted by the news she’d snuck into the conversation. She’s divorced. She’d gotten divorced. Despite the fact that he was refusing to acknowledge it, back when they were together he used to dream about it. The day she said fuck her husband and left him completely, chose him entirely. On darker days when he would watch her climb out of bed to go find her spouse, or see them kiss especially intimately in front of him, or she would leave to shower with him just after she and Lip had sex, he would think about how happy he’d be if the older man just disappeared. Went missing. Dropped dead, he didn’t fucking care. 

But the knowledge now that Helene was single brought Lip no feeling at all. He’s shocked at how numb he is to the news. “I’m uh, sorry.” he offers awkwardly. 

“I’ve made my peace with it. Now, I’m trying to make my peace with you.” she smiles, placing her hand on top of Lip’s across the table, smoothing her thumb on his knuckles. 

“Oh, shit-” he jolts, taking his hand back and feeling himself turn red as the table rattles at his jerky movement. “I actually have a girlfriend. And we’re…monogamous.” 

“Oh.” Helene sits back, seemingly startled by his very large reaction before adjusting herself. “I’m sorry, well congratulations. Who is it? That mousy girl who is fascinated with posting pictures of other people’s naked forms?” 

Lip doesn’t bother offering her a fake laugh, instead choosing to open his phone and show her his favorite picture of him and Charlotte together. It’s one that Ian had taken at the Alibi when Lip had been pretending to teach her how to play pool to both get close to her and piss off Kev as the girl bent over the table in front of him. The picture perfectly captures Charlotte’s pretty smile and reminds him of when she was close enough to touch. He holds his phone up for Helene to see and watches the woman’s expression. “This is Charlotte.”

Her face is unmoving as she looks at the girl. “Well, I suppose it’s double congratulations. She’s gorgeous. Is she in school?”

“Um,” Lip takes the phone back and pockets it, “No, she just moved here. She’s working at a restaurant for now, saving up money. I’d have brought her with me but she’s visiting family back where she’s from.”

“And where’s that?”

“Virginia.”

Helene hums, lifting her coffee to take a sip. “That’s far.”

“772 miles.” Lip sniffs, leaning back in his chair. “But she’ll be back.” As he says it his brain wonders if he’s telling Helene or reminding himself.

“I see. And it’s serious?” 

That question gives Lip pause. Because is it serious? He can acknowledge that when he first saw Charlotte he hadn’t hoped for much more than getting her prissy ass into bed and then doubling back once in a while, but not frequently enough for her to get attached. Her stubbornness and Mandy’s existence put a little wrench in his plans but he’d always liked a challenge. But after a while, it was more than that. He’d fucked around and learned things about her. Charlotte is sweet, kind, and funny. She makes him relax and feel less fucking irritated all of the time. She makes him feel needed without making him feel trapped. She cared about his interests, making him happy. His family. She’d made his life better in such a short period of time. 

“To me.” 

Helene nods, offering him a soft smile. “I can tell. It’s the look in your eyes. It’s different now. A good different.” she lets out a sigh and places her cup down again. “Well, I’m happy for you. Though I came here to tell you I miss you and apologize, I also wanted to make up for the part I played in your education ending early.”

“It was unrelated.”

“Well, I certainly didn’t help.” It’s good that she knows that, he thinks. “I want to offer you an internship, not with me, but with a research center I collaborate with. They were looking for someone with an interest and background in science and technology and I immediately thought of you.”

“You didn’t think of one of the hundreds of people majoring in that at the university?” Lip scoffs.

“I didn’t used to sleep with them.” she jokes, rolling her eyes when Lip appears unamused. “I’m kidding. I truly believe you’d be a good fit for this.” 

“Look um, like I told Youens, I can’t really afford to work for free right now, I understand you guys say it’ll lead to something-”

“It’s a paid internship, Lip.” Helene cuts in. She observes the young man, watching as the wheels turn in his brain as he tries to think up more excuses as to why he can’t accept this opportunity. She grabs her purse from where it is hanging on the back of her chair and pulls out a card, placing it down on the table. “Look, I have another meeting to get to, but this is a really good opportunity, if I were you I’d take it. Work in your field and make some decent money. Serious relationships aren’t as free as we’d like them to be, you know.” she says, nodding her head toward the pocket where he’d placed his phone. Helene stands, walking past, briefly placing her hand on Lip’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, you’d only have to see me around sometimes, we’d be in different departments.”

“I wasn’t worried about that.” He says, grabbing the card.

“Good. Give my regards to Charlotte will you?”

Lip sits quietly as the older woman leaves the cafe, attempting to process what just happened. He looks down at the card one more time before shoving it in his pocket and standing to leave himself, mumbling under his breath, “‘Give my regards’ to my fuckin’ girlfriend. Like hell I will.”

“Okay, Liam, open this one next.”

Lip stands with his arm around Fiona as they watch Debbie help Liam open her present with a bright smile on her face. It’s tradition in the Gallagher household. For the whole month of December, the older three kids hide all of their money that they earn, same as usual, and put it toward the rent and bills. They work extra shifts at their jobs so that Carl and Debbie don’t have to chip in for the month, that way they can get each other and Liam presents. The older three also use anything they have left over to get each younger kid an additional gift. Finally, being the two older siblings they are, sometimes Fiona and Lip scrape together a little something extra to try and get something for Ian. This year, Mickey was here.

At first Lip had found the male Milkovich’s damn near constant presence in their home irritating, but he made Ian happy, and more stable so he tolerated it. As more time went by, Mickey became part of their routine, helping out, hanging out, pitching in money, and then Lip didn’t mind him. But now, watching the fucking thug who’d threatened to bash both his and Ian’s faces in not long ago for one reason or another roll his eyes and pretend to be in different as he offers a messily wrapped army knife to Lip’s younger brother, blushing as Ian pulls him into a brief kiss, Lip thinks he might not hate having him around. Maybe even likes it. 

“Who wants eggnog?” V calls as she carries the pitcher into the room, balancing a stack of empty cups in her other hand. 

“Me!” Carl calls trying to snatch a cup, groaning when the woman pulls it away. 

“Sorry, who’s grown and wants spiked eggnog?”

“Fuckin’ me.” Lip grunts, pouring a glass full and taking a long swig. He’d been in a shit mood all day. Watching his younger siblings open their gifts made him feel a little better, but he’d been hoping that Charlotte would be home by now. It’d been weeks since she’d left and he was starting (had been the whole fucking time) to worry that she wasn’t coming back. He couldn’t imagine that the short time they’d gotten together before she left was all he was gonna get. But then again, that was just his luck.

Fiona’s eyes land on V, a small smile on her face as she widens her eyes in silent communication. Her friend rolls her own in response, nodding exasperated, and nudges Kev. “Huh? Oh.” the man leans down and takes Liam from Debbie and lifts the boy’s bottom to his nose, sniffing his nose. “Um…Lip, man, I think Liam took a shit.”

The blond’s brows furrow as he takes another sip of eggnog. “So change him?”

“He’s uh, not my brother.”

“Oh, for christ sake,” Fiona snatches Liam back, smiling at the little boy’s giggle and shoving him into Lip��s arms. “Go change him will you?” 

Lip narrows his eyes at his sister before sighing out a ‘whatever’ and taking the boy, blowing raspberries against Liam’s cheek as he makes his way to the steps. 

As they get to Liam, Carl and Ian’s room Lip starts undoing Liam’s diaper, holding the clean one under his arm. “You having a good Christmas buddy? Huh? Is it fun? Should we play in the snow later?”

“Lip!” the boy claps, kicking his legs, antsy. 

Lip frowns in confusion as he finds a completely empty and clean diaper as he looks down at his brother. “The hell? What’re they talkin’ about? I knew you didn’t stink to me. Maybe it’s Kev, huh?” he coos, buttoning his brother back up. “Maybe he’s the one who took the shit.”

The blond fumbles around in his pocket and pulls out his phone, figuring hearing his girlfriend’s voice might put him in a better mood. “Should we call Charlotte? We miss her, don’t we buddy.”

“Lottie!” Liam screams, kicking more, giggling loudly. 

“Alright alright, keep your pants on, she’s my girlfriend, kid.” He jokes, dialing her number. The phone rings once before going to voicemail. “And I guess she’s busy. That’s okay, buddy, she’s probably just enjoying Christmas with her parents.” Lip reassures, unsure if it’s for Liam or himself. He grows even more irritated at the painful ache that forms in his chest at the thought that he won’t be hearing from her at all today. He’d called twice earlier too, only to be sent to voicemail twice. 

Hoisting the little boy up, Lip jogs back down the stairs, bouncing his brother as he goes, slowing to a halt when he enters the room and everyone seems like they just rushed back to their seat. “Why the fuck are you all being so weird? And he didn’t shit.” He says placing his little brother into Carl’s arms and going to sit again.

“Wait!” Fiona calls out, fighting back a grin. “Don’t sit down, you have to get your present now.”

“The fuck? You got me a present? Why? We could’ve used that on one of the kids-” Guilt floods him as he thinks about the fact that he hadn’t gotten Fiona anything.

“Will you stop being such a prick and go get your present? We left it in the kitchen.” Ian interrupts, kicking at Lip’s leg. “Go.” 

“What would you even get me-” Lip pauses as a thought crosses his mind. But no. No, that’s not it. It’s no fuckin’ way. He lets his eyes trail over to V who offers him a small shrug before nodding her head in the direction of the kitchen. “No fuckin’ way.” 

Lip all but sprints into the kitchen, ignoring his family’s laughter when he trips a little over the leg of the coffee table and again on one of Liam’s singing toys as he swings into the room.

“Hi, boyfriend.”

And there she is. In the flesh. Bouncing excitedly on her feet once, twice before squealing and jumping into Lip’s arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. Lip catches her easily, wrapping his own arms around her waist and squeezing tightly as he buries his face in her neck, inhaling her scent. “Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me? Charlotte, what the fuck?”

“Merry Christmas.” she chirps, putting her legs down and pulling back slightly, Lip follows suit, holding his arms around her loosely but refusing to fully let go.

“Yeah it fuckin’ is.” he breathes, tugging her forward into a kiss. He feels like his eyes could fucking roll back in his head. It feels so good. Touching her. Feeling her touch him. Kissing her soft lips. When he finally lets her up for air he leans his forehead against hers, matching her smile with his own. “Merry Christmas, Bunny. Uh, thanks for coming back.”

“What?” the girl scoffs, reaching up and tugging the hair at the back of his head lightly, “Are you joking? I had to.” she leans forward, rubbing her nose against his. “You’re here.”

“Fuckin’ missed you, baby.” Lip connects their lips again, hand cupping her cheek to guide her into a deeper kiss as he walks them until her lower back hits the counter.

“Alright, lovebirds, enough of that, I only promised Fiona I’d give you two minutes, it’s been five and a quarter.” Kev calls from the other room. 

Lip pulls back again, letting Charlotte walk ahead of him as he rests his hands on her shoulders following not far behind as they re-enter the room. He watches as she greets all of his siblings, hugging Debbie tightly and kissing Carl on the cheek. Tickling Liam and placing him on her lap as she leans into an embrace from Ian before Mickey reaches over and pinches her cheek. 

She’s back. She’s actually back. Lip didn’t realize how little hope he’d had that she’d come back to him until she’d actually done it. She was here, in his living room, with his family. With him. And the room feels like it has oxygen in it again. He only lets the thought of how scary it is that he feels like he’s breathing for the first time in weeks pass through the front of his head for a moment, though it still rings pretty loudly as he pushes it to his subconscious. 

Hours later the two older Gallagher siblings are cleaning up after the holiday mess. Charlotte had offered to help the younger kids to get ready for bed while Ian and Mickey went to spend some time with Mandy so she wasn’t by herself on Christmas. Kev and V returned home after being over all day, Charlotte promising to spend all day the next day with them, and them giving in with very minimal complaint when she and Lip asserted that they’d be spending the night together. 

Fiona eyes her brother as she scrubs a dish clean, watching as he continuously looks over his shoulder up the stairs. “Just go. I’ve got it.”

“Huh?”

“Go be with her, I can handle clean up, if anything you’re slowing me down, checkin’ every two seconds to see if she’s comin’ down.” She laughs, wiping hair out of her face with her forearm. 

Lip chuckles too, putting down the drying towel and squeezing his sister;s shoulder. “Thanks, Fi.”

“Yeah yeah, don’t be loud, I don’t need any of the littles gettin’ traumatized on Christmas.” She says, placing a clean plate on the rack. Fiona turns to catch her brother before he heads up the steps. “Hey, she’s a good one. And this…this looks good on you so…don’t Gallagher it up.” 

Lip pauses, thinking back to the card in his jacket pocket and the call he’d made earlier that morning. “I won’t.”

Charlotte turns as the door to Lip’s room creaks open, a wide smile spreading across her face as her boyfriend enters the room. “Hi.” she whispers.

“Hey.” he repeats back softly, closing the door quietly so as to not stir his younger siblings. Lip glances down on the floor at the discarded clothes and mess, and tries to kick it aside as he makes his way over to where Charlotte is standing. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

“Neither can I, if it was up to my dad I would’ve never come back out here, but Mom took my side.” she meets him the rest of the way, wrapping her arms around his neck as he pulls her in by her waist. “Missed you. But, it was good to see them. Any updates here?”

Lip has to force himself to look away from her big, brown, expectant eyes. He absently thinks to himself that he’d forgotten how hard it is to be a piece of shit when she’s aiming her soft, affectionate looks at him, as if he was something good. But despite the fact that this surprise was literally all that he’d wished for, he hadn’t had time to prepare to tell Charlotte about Helene or the job. He could already picture the doubt that would form on her face as he told her that he’d be working in somewhat proximity to his professor that he’d fucked for several months, convinced himself he was in love with, and briefly attempted to stalk. He can’t even picture admitting to her he’d gone to get coffee with her.

But the alternative isn’t much better. Having Charlotte look up at him with that wide-eyed, starry look, rose petal lips smiling brightly at him. Showing him that fuckin’ dimple. And all of that being fake? Lying to her face? He couldn’t imagine being able to sleep, sure he can lie on the phone, but holding her afterward is a whole different ball game. 

So Lip chose the only intelligent option. 

Half stories and fuckin’ deny, deny, deny.

“I uh, got a new job, a paid internship. I’ll get to work in science which is cool.” he says dismissively, moving down to kiss her when she stops him.

“What?” she squeaks, smile spreading even wider. “Phillip! That’s so great! M’so happy for you, bubba!” she says bouncing where she stands and clapping her hands together. “We have to celebrate! We…we should go out some night this week. Like, get dinner or go to a bar or…” Charlotte pauses, the look on her face changing. 

“Or…?”

The woman leans forward then, kissing Lip’s nose, cheek, and jaw before dragging her way to his neck. Lip groans, mumbling a ‘fuck’ under his breath as Charlotte presses open mouthed kisses down his neck, tugging aside the collar of his shirt as she moves to the top of his chest, rubbing her hands along his abs. 

It feels good. So good, her soft hands pushing his shirt out of the way. Her lips dragging along his skin. He was immediately hard, clenching his jaw in focus as he watches his sweet girl drop to her knees in front of him, looking up at him through her long dark lashes as she began to pull his belt from its buckle.

Lip’s dreamed of this shit. Hell, he came to this thought for almost all of the nights she’d been gone. 

But there’s this fucking nagging thought in his brain. Fucking telling him over and over how he doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve his beautiful, sexy, kind, loving girlfriend. He doesn’t deserve her using her money she saved from her job to take him to the fucking Chicago Sciene Institute Museum. He doesn’t deserve her begging her parents to let her come back to this shithole so they can give their relationship a real try. He doesn’t deserve the way she looks at him. 

He damn sure does not deserve to have his dick that he used to put where the fuck ever in her mouth.

“Baby, baby, wait-fuck-” he hisses as her hand pauses as it wraps around him in his boxers. “Shit, um, I don’t think we should do this right now.”

Charlotte immediately retracts her hand from him, placing them both in her lap as she sits on the floor looking at him. “Oh. Okay, did I hurt you…or like…do something you didn’t like?”

“No, no you’re” Lip joins her on the ground, bringing her hands to his lips and kissing her palms repeatedly. “Perfect. You’re perfect. It’s me, I’m just…” he hesitates, wracking his brain for an excuse and also cursing himself for quite literally talking his way out of getting his dick wet. “Don’t wanna traumatize the kids on Christmas you know? Plus uh, we should probably wait for a time Carl isn’t home. Did you know he has a crush on you?”

Releasing a nervous breath Charlotte relaxes again, giggling. “Oh yeah, I kinda got that when I was walking up the street one day and he tried to get me to ride on the handlebars of his bike. He tried to push up on his tip toes and whisper ‘wait for me, baby girl’  in my ear.”

Lip chuckles, moving to sit on his butt slowly, silently willing his erection to go down and leaving his arms open for Charlotte to sit in his lap. “He’s a Gallagher, it comes with charm.” he pokes the dimple in her cheek, jolting her in his lap lightly when she snorts. “What you don’t think so?”

“Please, Ian and Liam are carrying the family name on their god damned backs.” she jokes, leaning her head back on his shoulder. “Mm and Fiona, she’s got game too. Pretty sexy.”

“Yeah? You think my sister’s hot, why don’t you go downstairs and sit on her lap, huh?” 

Charlotte turns a little to look at him, raising an eyebrow. “You think she’ll let me?”

Lip’s mouth falls open for a moment before he lets out a breathy laugh of disbelief. “Fuckin’ brat, okay, up you go.” he grabs Charlotte at her middle, pushing off of the floor and putting her over his shoulder before dropping her softly on to the bed, climbing over her and pinning her to it. “Went to Virginia and lost your fuckin’ mind. It’s funny?” he says lowly at her giggles, leaning down closer to her face. “You know what’s funny, Bunny? I still have your Christmas gift.”

Brown eyes go wide and immediately Charlotte is giggling out apologies. “Wait, wait, stop, m’sorryyy.” she hiccups as she continues to laugh, Lip’s fingers tickling her sides. “I want my gift!”

“Ask your girlfriend.” Lip jokes.

“She’s busy-” she whimpers, yelping when he intensifies his fingers movements. “You’re my boyfriend! Sorry! Please!” she laughs, kicking her legs. “Pleaseee” she pouts up at him between unhinged squeals and laughter. 

Lip stares down at the beautiful girl beneath him and can’t help put give her what she asks. Placing his hand loosely around her neck, he pulls her up to meet him halfway, pressing their lips together in a deep, brief kiss. “Need to remember who you belong to, brat.” 

He grunts as he pushes off of the bed and goes to his larger dresser, easily pushing the heavy furniture slightly away from the wall and opening what looked to be a small door to a non-functioning vent. Charlotte sits up on the bed, brows furrowing as she watches her boyfriend pull a huge jar from the opening in the wall behind his dresser, miscellaneous pieces of money, change and what appeared to be checks at the bottom. The jar wasn’t very full, only making it to the first little ridge at the bottom of the jar. As he moves closer, a serious look on his face, Charlotte immediately begins shaking her head. “Phillip you better not be trying to give me money.”

Lip places the jar on the floor in front of her before taking a deep breath and sitting next to her on the bed. “No, I’m not. Or, not really. You remember how my family has the Squirrel Fund that we hide from Frank, so we can pay our bills and eat and shit.”

“Yeah,” Charlotte says softly, eyeing the jar. “I told you before I left that I think I should kick some money in if I’m gonna sleep over.”

“Yeah, over my dead fuckin’ body.” He dismisses. “This is…uh, shit this is embarrassing. I didn’t think about that part, it’s fuckin’ stupid.”

Charlotte watches as her beautiful boyfriend turns a pretty shade of pink as he stares at the floor. She slides her arm under his, intertwining their fingers and grinning when he brings his always intense blue eyes up to her face. “Go ahead, bub, I’m not laughing.”

“Shit, fuck it, okay.” he sighs. “This is the Bunny Bank.”

Charlotte’s mouth opens and closes again as she struggles to follow. “Bunny like me, Bunny?”

“Uh, yeah. I um, started to set aside money to put in this jar I fuckin’ found when you started talking to me again after that Mandy shit because, I dunno, you said we’d start hanging out and I started thinkin’ I wanted to take you to nice places. You deserve to go to nice places.”

“You,” Charlotte tilts her head to look at him better. “You started saving money to take me on dates when I was still friendzoning you?”

“Yeah?” Lip shrugs, laughing to himself softly. “I knew that I was gonna keep trying and I guess I wanted to be ready when it started working. But uh, you beat me to the first date thing, huh?” he says, smoothing his thumb over her cheek.

“You deserve to go to nice places too.” she says in a small voice, leaning into his hand.

“Well, I started putting more in there over time, and uh, you know, one day I’m gonna fill it. And we can use it on dates. Or get you a nice gift like I dunno, a purse or somethin. Or we could…” Lip looks at her intently, scanning her face. “We could save it. Put it toward, you know, future stuff.”

He damn near cringes as he waits for her to pull away. Lip fully expects for Charlotte to recoil away from him, for her to wake up the second he mentions the future and remember that she’s way too fucking good for him. Hell, he’s never even thought beyond fucking a girl for a couple months outside of Karen, and even then, what he felt was nothing like this. She was like a toxic friend that he was sexually attracted to. And even with her he didn’t plan. She was satisfied with a couple of free beers and a quick fuck in the bathroom at the school. Lip knows that shit isn’t good enough for Charlotte. And he’s learned in his time with her that he wouldn’t want her to settle for that. 

He wants to be able to provide things for her, beyond a decent date once every couple of months. That’s why he started the pseudo bank and that’s why he has to lie to her so he can take this job. It’s for her. 

But he knows this is fast. Just because he can see a future with her and his feelings hit him like a fucking truck doesn’t mean she feels this way. She has a nice home away from here. She’s accustomed to nice things and guys who don’t have to take a chunk of their check and save it up to give them to her months later. She should know that she can do better, laugh at his pathetic attempt at romance and walk away. Tell him she’s not some chick from the hood he can impress with a free popsicle, his quick wit and good looks.

Lip is fully prepared to backtrack what he said, saying that any mention he made of the future was a fucking joke and distracting her by eating her out or something. But he doesn’t get the chance. 

He watches in awe as Charlotte reaches down her own shirt, digging in her own bra and producing what appeared to be two twenty dollar bills, folded up and warm from her skin. Manicured hands drop the money into the jar before the girl places her hand back in his, leaning in and pressing a kiss to his cheek. Charlotte nudges Lip’s arm with her own, and looks at him as if he fucking hung the moon and stars. “I like the last thing. Let’s save it. For future stuff.”

Lip doesn’t even get a chance to stop it. He doesn’t know if it's the confirmation that she sees a future with him too, now matter how long that is. Or maybe it’s the pretty way she’s staring up at him or him still reeling from the fact that she’s here. Or the fact that his pretty little prissy thing literally just produced forty dollars from her bra for them to save as a couple. Hell, he thinks it's probably all of it. But it comes out like fuckin word vomit.

“I love you.” 

[fortheloveofarchons]

My opinions on Sunday from Honkai: Star Rail

C.W. Contains spoilers after the 2.2 Honkai: Star Rail Trailblazer Quest + theories and lore

.

.

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I kinda agree with his philosophies and thinking... to some extent...

Okay hear me out!!!

We all know by now that Sunday's whole motive is to protect everyone and ensure that they won't have to suffer anymore (like when he states that he wants everyone to have seven rest days). I can empathise with his character so much, as someone who (as ridiculous and cowardly as it sounds) is afraid to face the harsh realities of life. I mean, even if he's set as a villain, he is as gentle and empathetic as his sister Robin, just that they both express it differently.

Seeing the cutscenes of him and Robin from their past to the present was just so immersive, because Sunday brings up some very demoralizing and harsh situations that he faced back then, and we, the audience, can understand and relate to struggling to cope with his disappointment, frustration, grief, and anger - all while often having little to no power to change things.

From the way Sunday is acting, he seems more like a traumatised parental figure (as we've seen the reason why Robin has to wear excessive neck accessories due to her being shot) who cannot let go and provide his care and safe environment for his loved ones.

Moreover, his ideologies felt surreal as I myself would take that path since I can relate to his trauma and ideals (and also as someone who has a sibling too)

His viewpoint is understandable, but...

Taking away the basic right of an individual's free will for safety is always a controversial issue.

As Himeko once called out Sunday, she states that he's just going to trap everyone in a bird cage through eternal slumber, which robs them their freedom and agency.

Plus, from what Robin said, if Sunday's plan worked, he's going to hurt himself too. Because Sunday will be in charge of everything and everyone, he won't even have time to rest, causing his body and mind to be exhausted to the bone (maybe possible cause his mind and body to corrode cause he needs to rest at one point)

Moreover, Firefly made a good point disapproving Sunday's point that he should not assume just because someone is weak doesn't mean that they should automatically escape to fantasy. It is up to you to be strong so you can fly into the sky, and that not everyone who is weak should be weak.

I remember someone commenting on Youtube stating that Sunday protects Robin so much, that Sunday doesn't even know how to protect himself for facing the outside world. It's kind of ironic considering that Sunday is supposed to be the protective, influential type of characters in Penacony, yet he barely knows how to fly. Robin, however, took the opportunity to spread her philosophies of Harmony and influence others in reality.

In conclusion, Sunday has the right idea, it's just that he has a terrible execution. But I know that there are some people who don't mind, I've been on Instagram to see a lot of people agreeing with his views... yes I'm talking about all those sunday stans cause I've seen a lot from them

(I ain't complaining plz we need more Sunday content!!!)

I mean-- in reality I wouldn't agree; but in this story, I would agree with him. (if we don't consider my simping and bias because that has the most influence)

Honestly, I'm hoping he gets a redemption arc because I really love him (I personally wouldn't mind if Sunday gets the Wanderer treatment from Genshin Impact if it means that Sunday will be playable), and hoping that he is really alive (as stated by the leakers that Sunday has a bunch of specific codes and emotion codes that's exclusive to playable characters).

That said, may we Sunday havers have more Sunday content and playable Sunday in the future!!! I'm gonna write a fic for Sunday so stay tuned!!

Let me know what you guys think of Sunday! Do you think he'll get redeemed? Playable? Alive?

PETITION TO MAKE EVERYDAY SUNDAYYY!!!!!!

[moochii-daisies]

2015.05.

- 18+, Minors DNI

Warnings - Content Contains: Dark themes, tw: pill mention, SH mention, unstable mental health, cussing, smoking, drinking, Lacey and MC straight up throw hands, tension, drama, conflict, sexual/suggestive things occur (but not smut - technically) - everyone is Going Through It. There is Angst haha. (MC is very sensitive).

Sidnotes: this was inspired by that run bts special episode where they wore cat ears and jimin was dancing and pretending to be sad/cry haha anyways - thank you for reading if you do and i hope you enjoy <3

Find the rest here!

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     Dance like no-one can see you sobbing on the dance floor.

    I mean - Dance like no-one is watching, right?

That's how the saying typically goes.

 

     I'm gonna come back to that later I promise. But there are still some spots missing between now and then. The little things are important.

     Once I had made a full recovery, Jungkook made me promise that I would stay within his line of sight for all future ragers and game nights. I wanted to be playful about it, trying not to dwell on the few disjointed memories that remained after being drugged. But the look on his face made me pause, so I went with a humble nod instead. Feeling a little timid under the force of his atypical seriousness.

     The guys had theories that I had been given some kind of downer. One that mixed rather poorly with the alcohol I'd had. They bickered over technical differences between the ones they knew of and asked me for details on how it all felt. They were sensitive with their questions though, and very quickly learned to never do it in front of Jungkook or Yoongi.

Aw hell. Jungkook and Yoongi.

     The two never fought after that night but we (the entire household) almost wished that they would. Disdain was unnatural for JK's usually youthful demeanor. Just as much as shame was for Yoongi's typical stoicism. Both pairs of shoulders would square up in the presence of the other and as if on cue, everyone would begin to exchange glances that carried non-verbal messages. Sussing out the best way to prepare for any possibly impending brawls.

Lacey and I were each assigned, in a sense, to Jungkook and Yoongi, while the others would divvy themselves up. Assessing the best dynamics - which would change depending on various moods.

     It wasn't so bad that we couldn't all hang out together or anything like that. Our weekend plans still carried onward without a hitch and things at home felt relatively peaceful all things considered. The awkward tension between Yoongi and I wasn't gone, but it had been taken over by the more aggravated tension between him and Jungkook. Come to think of it - I saw so little of Yoongi that it was almost like the crackling intensity between us had disappeared. Almost. For the rest of that first year anyway.

Either way, the point remains the same - life carried on.

     And the guys made more than enough effort to ensure that I was -really- okay with the parties continuing.

     I said yes, of course.

     Maybe I should've said no. That I needed time to process things and to take at least a week off before getting back to it. I mean - maybe I would've, if I had known that's what I needed - but I didn't. Trying to forget what little I remembered was my only goal, and what better way was there to do that besides partying with my best friends? Well, there was one other way, but I'm getting to that.

     The second half of their first year at the house marched along, mostly at a snail's pace. Roadrunner moments rushed past us and turned into memories before we could even acknowledge that they had happened. (The knife night, Tae's "wine and painting" party, Jimin's 24 hour dance-a-thon, mushroom week - to name a few.)

     Lacey and I saw each other a whole lot less than we had been. Partly because she never came clean about what she told Jungkook exactly or what she remembered from that night. But it was mostly because of how much Yoongi had upped his PDA. It was to a degree that made us all wonder if he was doing it on purpose. Like he wanted us to see it.

He would lay in Lacey's lap on the living room couch or hold her in his. Someone's hand was always dipping down into places or holding onto places or pulling on places that made the other let out sounds too sensual to be appropriate in a shared space. During ragers we would exclusively see him holding her from behind. It got to the point where seeing Lacey without his arms wrapped around her like a backpack felt worrying instead of normal.

When any of us got the chance to ask how he was doing - he would hide his face behind Lacey's shoulder, muttering in a voice so low that she would have to relay his words to the rest of us. I don't think we saw him alone much after that, not for the rest of that first year at least.

Jimin and Hobi took to monitoring them around the house with weary looks. Snapping, "In your motherfuckin' ROOM bro!" whenever they stopped caring about where they were (which was often). Lacey would keep her head down, adjusting clothes and trailing behind Yoongi as he pulled her by the hand. He would mumble his bitter retorts just loud enough for Hobi and Jimin to hear. The sound distorted by his stomping down the stairs. Things like, "God forbid I touch my girlfriend in my own house." or "Kinda funny to be actin' like such fuckin' prudes when -". You know, things like that. Things that were mostly returned with eye rolls and unseen middle fingers.

     It was ironic enough to feel ridiculous - that Jungkook and I had become the "easy ones" in the household. It wasn't like we were any better about public displays of affection - we just never got truly grumpy after being told to cut it out.

     Regardless of that, we appreciated that we were no longer seen as the (only) "too touchy" couple and tried to see it as a silver lining.

     To say it came with better treatment from the others would be a stretch but not entirely a lie. There was one (1) more time that we got carried away but when it stopped happening completely, both Jimin and Hobi's teasing became lighthearted.

Joon, who usually relied on Yoongi for help, started going to JK instead. Something JK was elated by and took very, very seriously.

And Jin would come stand next to the front porch couch we'd curl up on in the mornings. Holding a bowl of cereal or his Sherlock pipe with one hand and placing his other onto Jungkook's shoulder. A small, stoned speech about us being "his golden children" always followed. There was one time in particular - when he stepped out front mid-yawn with a joint sticking out of the pipe's bowl.

     "You two...you little baby babies. I just, every day I think - 'wow', you're my -"

     "Golden children." Jungkook and I interjected in sync.

     "See? See how my golden eggs hatched into these - these two...just...spectacular beings? They grow up so fast I just..." Jin's attempt at speaking came to a halt so he could pluck up the joint and light it mid-air. Letting it dangle from the corner of his mouth after he had succeeded. Falling silent as he patted Jungkook on the shoulder with (we think?) pride.

     I personally believed that his lips were so plush - he could stick almost anything between them and it wouldn't fall. And we would test this belief whenever he'd pass out on the living room couch. With his arms crossed and back weirdly straight for being slightly reclined - it was hard to tell whether he was fully unconscious or just resting his eyes. Once, after Hobi had tucked the handle of our heaviest ladle in between Jin's slightly parted lips, Jin's eyes flew open in a glare and made Hobi shriek in surprise. Flailing his limbs as he whooped, like a spider had fallen down the back of his shirt. Jin didn't move from the couch but projected his voice at full volume to chase after Hobi.

"YAH - THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING? DO YOU THINK THAT BEAUTY REST IS A JOKE? YOU THINK I LOOK LIKE THIS FROM ONLY GETTING REGULAR SLEEP?" - JK and I were laughing so hard we stopped making noise, and lost all muscle control in our legs. We rolled on the floor, letting out intermittent gasps and smacking each other on the arm. The commotion caught Jin's attention, and he tucked his chin slightly to look down at us from his spot on the couch. Deep pink pillows twitched into a tiny smile as soon as he realized that he was the reason for our laugh attack.

It wasn't enough to call it favoritism per se, but it was enough to be -something-. And although we wouldn't admit it, we did both like being seen as -

     "Good babies.".

Those were the last words we got from Jin that morning before he turned on his heel to go back to playing games in his room. A skunky smell swirled through the air behind him as he left.

     If I hadn't been privy to witnessing it firsthand, I would have never believed that Jin, Namjoon and Tae were stoners.

     But it wasn't a bad thing. Hell, if anything, the generally laidback energy from them helped keep the house balanced. Even after that game night, it felt like everyone kept growing closer. And it was largely because of the different roles each person played. It was understood that part of what we contributed to the house, wasn't anything material.

It was our dedication to functioning as a team.

Because we weren't just roommates who shared a living space, we were learning how to live - together.

     Jin and Namjoon primarily took on parental roles and they committed to them more than anyone else in the house. They stepped into them like it was natural, without question. Both doing such a good job at fulfilling the roles that nobody ever thought to ask why they did in the first place.

     "High mom and dad." Was a greeting we used with them often. Red eyes, a slow chuckle and a windshield wiper pretending to be a laugh always got the rest of us giggling, on the move to get on their level. In a weird way, it helped us all calm down to see them like that. Like a reminder that nothing bad would happen from being less high strung for a bit. A few of us got wound up easier than the rest, (Jimin, Jungkook, Hobi and I) and if Jin's blazed mothering couldn't settle us down, Joon and Jin would switch places.

It was kind of insane.

Without even glancing at each other, they would both move in unison so that Joon could work his magic in ~Dad Mode~.  Whether someone needed hugs, pep talks, deep conversation or a shoulder to lean on - he was a hit in the house. Some of us even called him "Great Teacher" instead (his stoned rants on personal philosophies were some of mine and Yoongi's favorites) - you could always count on Joonie for a life lesson or insightful anecdote. Though, he was so much more than that.

  The point was - that if anyone in the house was upset, their sixth senses would tingle as a summons. Jin usually had a blissed out look on his face upon their arrival and liked to pose dramatically against the closest doorframe. Uttering out a strangely seductive, "Hey." once he'd been noticed. Joon would stand behind him - feet wider than his shoulders and hands held in front of his body. Like a bodyguard that used snuggling, heartfelt stories and warm food as an attack. Nobody ever stayed upset there for long, at least, not usually.

     And if Jin and Joon were the primary parents of the house, then Tae was more like our resident's super cool stoner aunt. Not necessarily joining in on any trouble, but definitely allowing it. Usually with a coy expression that barely contained his excitement and ok, ok - he did more than just allow it - he absolutely adored encouraging it. But he wouldn't leave anyone to suffer punishment, especially if they were alone. Normally, if anyone got caught causing trouble - he'd appear from around a corner with an expression I'm sure he intended to convey wisdom.

After making his presence known, we could trust that he would step up to prevent anyone from getting reamed by others. Explaining theatrically that HE was the one true culprit all along. Like we were in the middle of a murder mystery (a la "Professor Plum in the library with a wrench"). And the only caveat for his rescue was - that the punishment had to genuinely be unfair. If it wasn't (he always knew when), he'd come around the corner with a sympathetic expression. Using an old cigarette holder to puff at whatever was left of his joint. Now that I think about it, we never saw him with a full one.

For being quite direct and honest, it was impressive that Tae was able to maintain a sense of mystery. Maybe it was because he could not be peer pressured by others. The decisions he made were his and his alone. You'd think he'd be less neutral and a little more chaotic, but he abided by his own moral values like they were a sworn oath. I always admired that about him.

And maybe it was because he knew that he couldn't always save us - but he had a habit of keeping some form of candy in his pockets to give out as consolation. Fishing one out and placing it on whoever was pissed off as a peace token. Surprisingly (or maybe unsurprisingly) - it always worked. Deer eyes would peer at you with curiosity and heartbreaking sincerity. A single curly lock of hair, so dark brown that it was almost black, would fall just so in front of his face, and if the absurdity of his good looks didn't give you pause - the impromptu performances he would come up with sure as hell would.

     He recited the entirety of a Robert Frost poem one time.

It was the last time we broke the rule. Jimin was going off on Jungkook and I for making out in the kitchen pantry (- ...there was a good reason, ok? Ok - you want the reason? Here it is - it was because we really, really wanted to. So there.).

      "I - Get. It. All right? You're both super hot and if I was in the mix? I can't say I wouldn't be right up in there with ya but our - RICE - is in there guys. Do you want sweaty dick rice? - Shut up Kookie. And it's not just about the rice! This is about sooo much more than 'just the rice'. You little shits, stop laughing, I swear to god. Come with me on a journey, will you? I wanna take you on a journey. A day in MY life, yeah? So focus, dammit. I'll set the scene. Imagine you want a snack - Jungkook shut up - Imagine you want a snack. It's been a long day. You're hungry! A natural occurrence in the human body. This much is well known. We all KNOW this to be true. Except for babies probably. Who knows what they actually know. But it's okay though, because YOU are not a baby. YOU are an adult. But hang on - what are you going to eat? You're at a loss. Perhaps there is no answer. You almost give up hope. And then it hits you. A stroke of genius. An incredible whim of creative intelligence. You have a brilliant idea. So you go downstairs - Kookie, shut the fuck up - you're excited! You can't even REMEMBER the last time you ate. And all you can think about, are the glorious snacks that are one door away. Just ONE door is all that stands between you and a happy stomach. And then you open that door - the pantry door of OUR home mind you, as an innocent man. Only to see, instead of snacks, two of your best friends BONKING LIKE TEENAGE RABBITS ON TOP OF YOUR -"

     Jimin's infuriated stream of consciousness was interrupted by Tae grabbing hold of him and tilting him back in a dip. A voice like silk.

     "I met a lady from the South who said..." - He crooned the opening line to "New Hampshire" by Robert Frost (which we later learned was his longest poem) before pausing for dramatic effect.

      With a flick of Tae's wrist - Jimin was flung away from him, still attached by clasped hands. In response to the motion, Jimin proceeded to do the most pissed off double pirouette I had ever seen. Gracefully landing, with a sour lemon look aimed at his partner. Tae paid this no mind and shot us a boxy smile instead. Picking his poetic performance back up and leading a begrudging Jimin in his improvised dance. Suffice to say, our apology was accepted once they were done and Jungkook and I never used the pantry as back up again. Maybe you just had to be there, but I'm telling you - it worked.

     And if Tae was our reefer-loving auntie, then Hobi was our designated wine one. Liquor wasn't up Hobi's alley but, he'd met a sommelier at a work party and very quickly became obsessed with the world of wine.

He'd come home from work with his own bottle of red (white in the summertime) and pour himself a generous glass with a hand on his hip. Emulating the same energy as a woman going through a stressful, messy divorce (but one who was going to win). Getting cornered by a wine drunk Hobi meant getting a lecture on self-love. If he caught Lacey, Jimin, Tae or I while we were also drunk - crying through a returned self-love speech was inevitable. There was one time that he got Joon to do it and to this day, we will not let him live it down. "You're a buttercup, daisy. Got me wishin' you were my lady" was the accidental rap that Namjoon had professed to Hobes. Both had their eyes closed and bottom lips bit, moving their heads to a beat that none of us had access to. Jungkook swears that Hobi even got Yoongi to give a couple speeches before they moved, but Yoongi said he would only reveal the truth after 63 years - we believed Jungkook.

     While it may sound sweet, these lectures usually meant an astoundingly strong grip on your shoulder and Hobi pointing the index finger of his hand, the one holding the wine glass, into your face with a frown. We could all recite his speech by heart within that first year.

     "NO. You don't understand," He would drop to a whisper as wine sloshed up the sides of his glass, "YOU are special. YOU are important. And don't even get me STARTED on - no, you know what? You deserve to hear it all...". And if you weren't in the mood for it, your best bet was to nod along, with the hope that he would get side-tracked by someone looking more in need of a pep-talk than you. Serious, lovey and completely out of it. That was the entirety of Wine Hobi's emotional spectrum.

     Self-love lectures were especially reserved for one on one though, and aside from that - wine aunt Hobi worked wonders on a crowd.

     There was one time that an argument had broken out amongst the entire house and we had all gathered in the living room to discuss it.

     "It" being: Namjoon's piles.

They had gotten out of control.

     Now, I organized things into piles around my room and sometimes throughout my house. They served a purpose, sure. But this was different. A full suit (shoes included), his keys, sunglasses and a half-finished protein shake were found in the kitchen sink one morning. A similar thing happened during a house-hunt for his briefcase. We found it in his shower - along with a pair of headphones, a pile of laundry, a plant and its future pot and what appeared to be a collection of used tissues. Similar assortments of things kept popping up in piles all over the house until every room had at least 6 or 7.

     To each their own, right?

Except Great Teacher Namjoon had become upset over the mysterious amount of his stuff that kept disappearing. Stuff that he was completely convinced we had moved for some "juvenile game". An accusation that some (one) of us did not take lightly.

     "Please tell me why I would take or want three different single socks, a broken game controller, 32 chords that none of us can identify or your TNMT blanket hoodie? What kind of 'game's' do you think I like to play, huh?" Jimin could not have made his response any drier. With a taut jaw and tongue poking his cheek, he raised his eyebrow while Namjoon stammered. Puffing out his cheeks with wide open eyes to get his frustration across after he'd accepted that words had failed him.

     The rest of us were mostly divided between supporting Jimin, not minding the piles and wanting to speak up (but also hoping things would resolve before they had to).

     Jimin was rightfully upset. He had sprained an ankle after tripping over one of the piles and had to miss work. He tried to show up anyways but the studio wrangled Jungkook in to sub, telling Jimin to take a rest - in what they believed would be taken - as a kind gesture.

     Unfortunately, it was driving Jimin insane. Trying not to stress about the financial setback gave him so much time and energy to notice the piles. To stew about how those piles made him feel.

It wasn't going great.

     Things rarely got torn like this and we all sat frozen, unsure of what to do.

     Our saving grace was a sound effect that could be heard from the kitchen. The clatter of cabinet doors and clanging of pots and pans rang out shortly after.

     At some point - Hobi had snuck away from us to make a kind of pasta that "came to him in a vision".

     "Guess who's making yummy pas-tah?~" Hobi coo'd from a place we couldn't see. The words were sung out in a way that practically begged us to come witness what he was working on.

     Jimin was upset at first, when we all started slinking over to see what Hobi was making. He crossed his arms and refused to look at anybody. Jiggling a bandaged ankle that was crossed over his other leg.    

     Joon, on the other hand, had started shadowboxing in the corner to vent his frustrations. Occasionally stopping to check through the piles that were around the room. With scrutiny, he selected items from the floor and placed them into their own, new piles. Making small groans and whispering, "What the fuck man..." at them before resuming his punching of the air. We felt it was best to leave them be.

     It took less than 10 minutes. And by the time the scent of garlic and onion being fried beckoned them over, we had all huddled around Hobi, chanting - "Go Hobi! Go!" while he shook a flaming pan around his body and furiously wiggled his knees.

     Any reluctance that Jimin had been feeling about joining us was reduced down to nothing, and within seconds he was hopping around on one foot with Hobi, using Namjoon's shoulder as his crutch. Namjoon held his crutches for him instead - both of them hyping Hobi up until he swung the pan too close to his wine glass. The near collision caused him to sober up and he shoo'd us out of the kitchen, selecting a few helpers to assist him with the rest. A wink and tap of one index finger on the nose was directed at those of us that had gotten rattled from the built up anger and tension. A simple gesture to acknowledge that he had purposefully (at least to some degree) worked to diffuse both with his noodle making scheme.

     It was only after we had all tucked into some immaculate white wine and cream sauce pasta that Joon craned his neck to find Jimin.

     "I'll clean up the piles dude, I'm sorry again about your ankle."

     Jimin chewed on some sauteed asparagus with an unimpressed look for a minute before he set down his fork and shook his hair back from his face.

     "It's fine," he said casually, wiping a lip with his thumb, "and if you wanna keep some piles in my room that's fine too just - I'll tell you what area's are okay, yeah?" Joon raised his chin to show a full, closed-mouth, koala smile. Cheeks stuffed with food.

And that was that.

It was like -

     Oh wait - there was also the time we were intervention-ing Tae in the kitchen for his hyperfixation on collaging every inch of the house. The oven included. We were mad that he hadn't checked the flammability of the materials he was using, and he was upset that his work had gone up in flames while we were making breakfast.

     After sticking his wine glass into view - Hobi simply stepped in, grabbed Tae by the waist and waltzed him into the living room where he had his favorite jazz songs playing. I think we all wound up dancing to them that day.

And Tae took down his fire hazard collages (and contributed the most towards the new oven). So it was agreed that he could collage in his room and shared spaces (as long as it didn't pose a threat to household safety).

You see what I mean?

     It just worked.

     These family-esque roles only benefited the household and we gained nothing from pretending otherwise. The sense of familial love served as an active reminder that no matter how frustrated anyone felt - love and care were at the center of it all.

No matter what came up.

And even with Jungkook, Yoongi, Lacey and I acting the way that we were.

     The tension between Jungkook and Yoongi had added some pressure to the "golden children" role assigned to Jungkook and I. Yoongi normally acted as the household big brother. Or drunk uncle (mixed with a crotchety but loving grandpa). So having him act like a sullen teenager pushed Jungkook and I to get our shit more together (relatively speaking) in an effort to balance things out. I guess it was like - if Yoongi and Lacey were throwing tantrums and failing school to prove their point, then Jungkook and I were trying to get straight A's and never forgetting our manners to prove ours. We all had parts to play.

It made things interesting, to say the least.

Especially considering the fact that we were entirely guilty of being - well, not golden children. The main difference between us and the other couple - was our double bunny energy. A glorified mask. One that nobody bothered checking underneath (although, I'm glad that they didn't).

     A double bunny, double life.

     Yoongi wasn't the only one who had gotten more clingy after that game night. I don't think I sat on anything besides Jungkook's lap until we all went out to dinner for Jimin's birthday in October - nearly 6 months later. Even after he had yanked my chair as close to his as he could get it, and even with an iron grip glued to my thigh - most of that evening (for me) was spent trying to see anything else besides JK's protruding bottom lip. And convincing us both not to sneak off to a car or bathroom.

Until we had gotten roughly midway through the meal.

Jimin had downed quite a few birthday drinks ("a little mix of everything") by then and was making Tae hold a dollar tree tiara on top of his head (it was meant for much smaller ones). The alcohol was waving a green flag for the thoughts that had been brewing and he sucked in a breath to express the qualm he had.     

     The one about Jungkook's lips being glued to my ear all evening.

It came out in the form of 20 questions.

"Guys, I'm 23 years old (he was turning 25) and I'm getting too old for this. Whispering sweet nothing's? In front of me? On my birthday? A day about ME? Are you telling her how handsome I am? Even though MELODY (a 4 yr old student of his) insisted on telling me how much she loves him more than me all day?" His head was bobbling as he tried to maintain his stare. The hand holding his nearly empty glass glittered with rings and a few bracelets he had received as gifts. He looked beautiful. Like an expensive angel.

     And if Jungkook hadn't been in devil mode, I'm sure I would've been gushing to Jimin about it.

But I didn't have the heart to tell him that Jungkook hadn't been whispering sweet nothings. He had only been whispering "please, please, please" in a way that reached between my legs. And I didn't trust myself to hide the effect it was having enough to make a joke about it. So I gave him compliments that I pretended to relay instead.

Unfortunately, that was really fun for both of them.

As soon as I did, Jungkook immediately and excitedly switched from one word begging to explicit descriptions of everything he would be doing to me once we were alone. I fought for composure and locked the hand he had on my leg in place with a tight squeeze of my thighs.

"Oh my god - Jimin looks so good while he dances that you wish you could carry a personal spotlight for him? Instead of being his TA? Wait, wait - the sexiest man in the world is...is who? Jimin? This angel?"

Jimin did not care where the compliments were really coming from and preened as I babbled on. Jungkook was smiling against my ear at this, detailing just how good he wanted us both to feel. How making me feel good, would make him feel even better. And didn't I want him to feel good?

My mouth had to develop its own brain to get the right words out. And I remember thinking that I was going to faint from trying to keep the act going until Jin cut me off to give his own birthday speech for Jimin. The food and cocktails on the table suddenly looked unappealing as the words Jungkook had spoken were given space to sink in. I clutched a hand around a strong thigh, battling with my mounting desire to unbutton the jeans that covered them.

Jungkook pulled away from me for the first time that evening in order to give Jin his full attention. And because he loved to tease.

I caught a glimpse of his cocky smirk as he lifted his glass of whiskey, gulping the rest down without taking his eyes off Jin. It was one that only grew wider after noticing my pent up and irritated frown looking up at him. Him and his stupidly excellent peripheral vision.

     After we returned from the restaurant, everyone a little tipsy and searching for a spot to rest - I was nearly thrown up to the landing of the staircase by the front door. Jungkook stilled in front of me once we were both there, and the anticipation began climbing uncomfortably fast. A hand pressed against the wall behind me while I held my breath underneath him.

     Our position had me trapped - although, I'm not sure if that would be the right word for it. We stood there, holding our heads close enough together that the air between us felt tantalizing. I wanted to devour him. And the ability to care about anyone hearing us was rapidly fading away as each second added to our need. But I never had to wait long with Jungkook.

The moment he was (mostly) sure that everyone was couch-locked, I was pushed up against, locked into a kiss so forceful that it wiped me clean. A blank slate.

     The truth is, I could act like JK and Yoongi were the only ones that had gotten more attached since that game night - but I was just as bad, if not worse than both of them combined.

You remember the "other way to forget" that I mentioned?

Well, this was it.

Loving on and letting myself be loved on by this incredible person - who was kissing me on that landing like he could turn back time, if he could just -

If he could only -

Scrambling against each other had us panting into open mouths.

"What did I tell you earlier?" He groaned the words as softly as he could along my jawline. Biting onto it in an attempt to distract from how he was shaking. It registered as a command and I hiked up a knee, keeping it tight against the side of his body. Wrapping one arm underneath it, he pushed it up even further so it was pressed back into my shoulder. Stepping his feet in so he could feel the front of my body against his without feeling hindered.

The sensation turned me into an animal. And my tugs on the back of his hair turned aggressive. That hint of pain had him making the noises that were stuck in my throat. As quiet as we were trying to be, they surrounded us and made me dizzy. There was nothing else in the world in that moment but him. I couldn't remember that game night. I couldn't torture myself with images of Lacey and Yoongi. I couldn't feel the guilt, or anxiety, or fear. I couldn't remember what happened before -

All there was, was Jungkook.

Just Jungkook.

My Jungkook. Who had slowed his pace down just enough. Not so much that I could stop fighting to keep up, but enough that the only thought able to make it to my awareness was: "More.".

I couldn't tell you when I started saying it out loud.

But I remember the exact moment it became all I could hear.

Over and over and over again. It was like it became the only word I knew.

"More, more - mph - more." A single word that felt almost like a prayer. Or a wish. Or the simplest kind of need.

Jungkook smiled as both of my arms locked in place around his neck.

"Hold on tighter baby," The words were given as a soft order and my muscles reacted on their own accord.

I was lifted up completely, my legs following the movements of my arms - ankles wrapped around each other a little tighter than needed to keep him pressed against me.

The trembling from both of us wasn't because of nerves or fear of getting caught, but from trying to keep some semblance of self-control.

"JK, I want - I want to," -

"I know baby, me too, I know."

Catching on fire wouldn't have made me pause. I don't think I would have even felt it over the heat radiating out from both of our cores.

Once I was lifted, any memory of the staircase blipped out of existence. Jungkook was everything the universe had created and I became the black void that held him together. Without him filling me up, there was nothing. A sky without stars. Unbearably empty. I needed him to -

"Fill me.".

Jungkook nearly dropped me at the words and it took me a minute to realize they had even left my mind.

But I had zero time to reflect on the fact that they had because Jungkook's rutting against me escalated in strength so suddenly I worried - for a split second - our clothing would disintegrate from the friction. The slightest amount of separation between us had revealed itself to be a shared level of Hell. It could no longer be ignored.

"Need it, need you - I need to. Fuck. Baby, I need you." Jungkook was almost slurring the words and removed my hold around his neck to slip his fingers between mine. Pushing our interwoven hands up against the wall behind my back. Shifting just slightly so that I was sandwiched between it and him, my legs tightened around his waist. Deepening the pressure and nearly vibrating at the ever-increasing hardening between them.

     He needed me too.

   

     Just like I needed -

     My heart felt like it was growing, blind to the fact that it'd been tied down with rope.

Here's the thing.

This was the night that started the Bunny Challenge. And it's 100% because of what I did next.

I smirked.

Our eyes were both closed at this point, but he felt the smirk on my face as he murmured the words of need. If my eyes had been opened maybe I would've been able to see how he looked when he did.

Instead, all I heard was a low laugh from deep in his chest. And all I felt were his hands slowly removing themselves from my still grabbing ones.

I didn't consider the volume of my voice before letting out a whine of frustration.

"Baby, noooo - what are you - come back to me." I spluttered and made my best attempts to keep him from stopping. Unfortunately - I was still in a turned on haze and Jungkook's reflexes were entirely out of my league.

"Do you like driving me insane?" Jungkook's tone was doing nothing to calm me down. I wiggled desperately to rekindle what he had stopped so suddenly, still trapped underneath and around him. Feeling a heartbeat from the part of him that still felt so far away as it thumped against the highest point between my thighs.

"Yes," I hissed the words at him. My frustration gave my eyes the strength to shoot open and glare at him.

That goddamn cocky smile.

I huffed to myself and Jungkook worked to remove my legs. Only looking back at me once I had been gently lowered onto the ground. There was the closest thing to wickedness I ever saw from him when he did.

There was no chance to collect myself before Jungkook started kissing me again. In a way that made it impossible to believe he would ever stop. In the kind of way that made me believe that what we both wanted was surely, going to happen.

And then he stopped.

"I bet that even if you tried your hardest, you couldn't get me to break the rules." He said the words as a taunt.

It worked immediately.

I readjusted my jeans before scoffing back at him, "Oh you're so on sweet boy." - a single kiss was my reward.

"Then the Double Bunny Challenge starts now baby." He swayed back and forth in front of me as he said it, one hand against the wall and the other in his front pocket. He had leaned forward, trying to find some relief and in an attempt to seem unbothered.

I lowered myself down onto my knee's, leaning just the slightest bit forward to breathe hot air against the spot he was trying to calm down. A hand flew to the back of my head and pushed me closer. I could hear that JK had tilted his head back as the "Oh fuck" he moaned echoed out from the ceiling above us.

In all honesty, the feeling of his hand controlling my head nearly made me cave in before we had even gotten started. The faintest awareness of footsteps is the only thing I can thank for helping me find any grip on rationality.

Jungkook changed the movement of his hand to tug me by the hair. Helping me lean against the wall like it was casual and not because my legs were shaking too much to stand. 20 fingers went to work at the tangles in each other's hair, smoothing them out so that we didn't look like we had been doing the things we were doing.

"Jesus, for a second I was worried I was gonna walk in on something nasty." Jimin's voice travelled up the staircase and we both spluttered out laughs. Like he had said something unheard of.

"Uh, we're mature now dude. Remember? You won't catch us slippin'." Jungkook leaned over the banister with a laugh while I gave thanks to the shadows for hiding the flush stinging my cheeks.

"Yeah, yeah - you're somethin'. That's for sure. Joonie needs help with something then it's your turn to make me a birthday drink. Cause it's my birthday, I dunno if you recall but I'm kinda a big deal and I'm normally really humble about it but this is the one day..." Jimin's voice trailed off as he babbled. Footsteps tapping away quietly on his journey back to the living room.

Jungkook and I took our time down the stairs. I excused myself for a smoke to finish calming down and Jungkook looked down at me with a shit-eating grin.

"Of course baby. We wouldn't want you giving into anything. Especially something that's, I dunno, against the rules?" I smacked him on the arm and turned away in a huff. Unknowingly doing exactly what he wanted.

A hand slid between my legs as I opened the front door. The pads of his fingers applied just enough pressure, to just the right place, and had me clapping a hand over my mouth to muffle the gasp I couldn't control.

It was over in an instant. And JK swaggered off without giving me the satisfaction of seeing if my reaction affected him.

I chain-smoked outside until the guys called me in to ref a game of beer pong.

Despite the consequences of it - the Bunny Challenge alleviated some of the pressure from the "golden children" role. It made it easier to navigate to a certain extent. Preoccupied us, I guess you could say.

One morning, after a particularly intense Bunny Challenge in the basement's laundry room - I bumped into Yoongi on his way down the stairs.

Jungkook had gone back to his room to "take care of something" and I had decided to go to the front porch. Hoping that the winter chill would knock my brain back into reality. Also because Jungkook had almost won that round but wound up falling victim to his own plan. "Baby go upstairs and stop talking. I have to stop looking at you and - ok, all my senses? You hafta be blocked. Skedaddle.".

Maybe that was why I did it.

Asked Yoongi if he wanted a coffee and a smoke.

Had things really gotten to the point where I was asking Yoongi to hang out and help me calm down? It seemed so impossible that I would ever have mild enough feelings to be around him like that. I didn't say it, but I remember wondering if Yoongi felt the same - because after coming to a halt, he only paused for a moment. And then he said yes.

The moment our body weight had sunk into that front porch couch, I couldn't believe I had ever thought anything so stupid. Sitting there with him did manage to snap me out of the lust Jungkook had stirred up. But it didn't come close to calming me down.

Every hair on my body raised at the awareness of Yoongi being beside me. I puffed at my cigarette robotically. Unable to understand how I had swung from one extreme to the other. From the feelings with Jungkook to the ones that came out around Yoongi.

"So..." I mustered up the word blankly. Glad that my regular person peripheral vision was only allowing me glimpses of ebony strands and a hint of one round cheek.

"So." Yoongi was always much more concise with his words.

A few more minutes passed. The sound of inhaling and exhaling bordered on being meditative.

"So I'm gonna play a show here next month. Once the holidays are over and stuff." Yoongi stated.

"So...in January?"

A small chuckle.

"So, yeah. January 13th."

I didn't fight the smile tugging across my face very hard.

"SooOooOo, that's pretty cool man. I can't wait to see it." I bounced my heel against the wooded floor. The memory of how we first met, how this all started, came back as a good one. It felt sweet. And so simple. I just wanted to see him -

"I hope you dance." The deepness of his voice pushed inside of me to let the words hit even deeper.

I swiveled to gawk at him, hoping a clever retort would find its way out of my mouth, but he was looking at the ashtray. Stubbing out his cigarette and letting it fall into the pile of ones already there.

"Babe I know your show is coming up but I -" Lacey's voice was small and needy until it abruptly stopped. I didn't catch it but I'm sure it was the moment she realized who was sitting next to Yoongi.

My feeble smile faltered at her wrinkle nose'd expression. The "hi" I was about to say lodged in my throat. A weak wave instead then.

It was completely ignored.

Yoongi had stiffened upon hearing her voice and I knew better than to hope for a chance of eye contact. Or saying goodbye. Or telling him that it had been so nice to talk to him. That I wanted to know more about his show and the work he had done to make it happen. What had inspired him for this one and if he had been working on it since they moved. Or if it started before then.

He stood up to make his way over to Lacey and I narrowed my eyes straight ahead, inspecting the nearly finished cigarette between my index and middle fingertips.

I was too nervous to put it out. To feel Lacey's glare on me as I moved. To be way too aware of Yoongi not looking at me, despite being maddeningly conscientious about every little thing he was doing.

I fiddled with the butt of the cigarette instead. Trying not to notice the words Lacey was saying and the hurt in Yoongi's voice as he gave his response.

He hoped I'd dance.

My stomach attempted to catapult itself outside of my body when I remembered why Yoongi and I had drifted apart in the first place. Why Lacey was here at all.

Jungkook.

My feelings for Jungkook.

I braced myself for a self-loathing fueled game of "what if" - but it never even got the chance to start. Thoughts of JK laying in bed downstairs rinsed me clean. Well, relatively speaking. I didn't need to fix Yoongi's relationship with Lacey and I didn't need to hate myself for where we all were now. I still did, but I didn't need to show penance through relentless overthinking. It's not like I was unhappy with where I was now. If Yoongi hadn't been happy with Lacey before... that had to have changed at least a bit by now, right? The past year's images of Lacey and Yoongi played through thoughts in a mental slideshow.

Yeah.

We were all happier now.

The thing about lying to yourself is that eventually you have to face the truth.

Christmas and New Year's celebrations went by in a flash. My mother loved Jungkook and had his personalized stocking ordered for the next year before we had gotten through Christmas morning. The guy's had their own celebrations - only Namjoon, Tae and Hobi went back home to see their families - and we all got WAY too into mulled wine before our white elephant gift exchange.

December felt 4 days long - Jin's birthday, Tae's early birthday, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. The first two weeks of January could've been one and I wouldn't have been able to confirm otherwise.

But on January 13th, things in the house changed.

Jungkook and I were jerked upright that morning by both the sound of something breaking from colliding with the wall and the sound of the wall being hit. In a blood-curdling volume, Lacey's shrieks - barely muffled behind closed doors helped us wake up faster than we did most mornings.

"YOU TOLD ME THAT IF WE DID THIS -" Pierced our eardrums with an icepick. "YOU KNOW THAT I -HATE- HER AND YOU STILL JUST -" Made an attempt to pull out my spine in one piece.

"No way that's you baby." Jungkook whispered before circling his arms around me. Hands flattened against my ears to block out any sound. I curled up into his embrace, taking note of all the different senses that had been taken over by him.

It went on for hours though. And after accepting that things wouldn't be resolved anytime soon - Jungkook decided to check on them. He slid on noise cancelling headphones to take the place of his hand coverage and kissed me on the forehead.

     It had to have been less than 10 minutes later but I didn't look at the clock. My eyes were glued to the door.

A blur of an object whizzed past the open crack in it and the thud that followed felt like it shook the framing of the house. It buzzed into my bones and made me uncomfortably aware of the amount of teeth in my mouth.

Jungkook came stumbling into the room, taking steps backwards and bumping into the door without any of the caution he had left with. In front of him was Lacey, who was fighting against Yoongi and his attempts to hold her back.

"YOU -" The words ripped their way into my ears as the headphones were torn off of them. Lacey had broken free and was standing over me on the bed. Yoongi was now focused on wrangling Jungkook to stop him from going after her.

Then all I could see was Lacey raising a fist back and dropping to her knees in what looked like slow motion towards me.

Grab her by the waist and turn.

Roll her onto her back and pin her with knees on each side of the hips.

Use feet to trap legs and prevent kicking back.

     Wrists, pin elbows down.

A thunder of footsteps. Scuffling behind me turned into silence. I held Lacey down like that, lost in limbo - until her unintelligible screams morphed into guttural sounding cries. One blink. And I lowered myself down to hug her. Letting the pressure of my body act as a weighted blanket until her arms wrapped around my waist to keep me there.

I vaguely remember hushed voices and shuffling footsteps coming from the doorway.

But it took hours.

When Lacey's crying had stopped, and her breathing had returned to normal - I eased myself off to sit next to her. She sat up with a clogged nose, watery hazel eyes a little pink but perfectly round.

"I'm not okay. Like, mentally." She said it angrily. Pulling her knees up to her chest and closing her arms around them. I mirrored her position.

"Me too -", my initial response got a snort from her.

"Yeah, okay. You're so fucked up that it made you sweet and caring instead of cutting yourself or literally going apeshit." The sarcasm came out in self-defense but it made me prickly.

"Ok hey now - if you think if I haven't cut myself or gone apeshit then you have a lot to learn about me." A little laugh relaxed us both.

"Fair. I'm sorry. It's just - I'm just - I'm like, really. REALLY. Not okay. Yoongi knows I wanna have kids and get married, any order is fine, you know? I just was like - I moved my whole life to a random ass state he wanted to go to all of a sudden and now he's like 'Babe I just gotta focus on my music right now' and I am - I'm losing it! I can't keep it up anymore! Like, I am fuckin' crazy girl it's -" Lacey wiped a sleeve at her nose as she talked and I tried my best not to zone out at the mention of Yoongi.

I could be a good listener.

"- And that's why I gotta move out like, today. Like, right now. You know? I dunno, I'm sure I'll be back. I've known these guys for sooo long but -" I saw my hand floating up to Lacey's shoulder before I felt it doing so.

"They're good guys that care about you. We all do. If you need to take care of yourself, that's not a bad thing. You deserve to feel proud of yourself for makin' that kinda decision." I said the words with care but there was an unspoken energy between us that disturbed its sincerity.

Lacey hesitated before speaking next.

"I don't hate you, you know that right? Just, please," the look she had given me the night they moved in echoed across her face, "Yoongi's mine. Please. Even if I'm not here.". She grabbed one of my hands as she did this, the last of the pleading look ebbing once she found my eyes.

I couldn't think of what to say. So I nodded. With as much affirmative intent as I could.

I promised to help her tell the others and promised again that I'd help her with packing before she moved out.

Jungkook shot me a confused look from the couch before we turned out of the kitchen - before anyone else could see. I lifted my shoulders in a shrug to reply, unable to translate the situation into a gesture.

Most of the guys took the news well and tried not to flood Lacey with questions. Words of support, concern and love rang out in an array of voices while Yoongi stared at the floor. Away from all the others, clearly struggling to accept Lacey's decision.

He got up at one point and with a voice urgent and strangled, asked Lacey how he could be sure she was ok if she was away from him.

"She has her hooks in deep this time." Hobi's words came back to me while the connection was made.

Oh.

I always imagined it was something physical. Maybe I took Hobi's description too literally. I didn't know how to feel about it being this. That it was because Lacey was struggling like this.

Lacey - who had not let go of my hand despite Yoongi coming over.

Who pulled me to stand by her side as he did. With an unfeasibly strong grip that contradicted her size.

The stars from Yoongi's eyes grew brighter after they darted to mine. The contact lasted less than a second but the sonic boom in my stomach and ringing in my ears can hasn't faded in years. Not even the slightest bit.

Lacey's hand tightened around mine with a strength that made it hurt and all of my focus went to checking the rest of the room.

Jimin looked bored out of his mind and Hobi looked like he was biting back an "I told you so.". Tae was sitting with his legs crossed on the edge of the couch. He had slouched over to reach the cigarette holder he had tucked between two fingers. That hand was draped over his knee while the other propped up his chin.

Namjoon and Jin were minding their business, playing games and continuing to read like nothing was going on. And JK was -

He wasn't there.

Oh. He was pacing in the kitchen.

He was livid.

I think that I had been trying not to notice that.

But once I did, I couldn't look away. Lacey and Yoongi disappeared. The iron hold on my hand morphed into a vague weight. I knew it was trapping me, but I couldn't tell what it was. Rhythmic thudding beat against my ears until it blocked out any sound - forbidding them from getting through.

Jungkook noticed after 11 paces. Making a face of "wtf" exasperation and (presumably) using the back door for a swifter exit.

He didn't slam the door.

But the gentle way it shut behind him made it just as loud.

As if a spell had been broken - I shook the ambiguous weight from my hand and all but sprinted after him.

I don't think I mentioned it before now. I knew it'd happen eventually, but it's kind of funny that we've gotten to this point of the story. I'm still finding my way to The Backyard.

Lacey was going to stay with her mom until she could go to an inpatient treatment center. Yoongi, Jin and Namjoon were going to drive back with her (and so that Yoongi wouldn't have to drive back alone - no matter how much he insisted he'd be fine).

"But wait - your show tonight. Can we leave tomorrow instead?" Lacey was asking the question when I stepped back into the house.

It hung in the air for a second before, "Oh shit, the show." was blown out in an unfamiliar frazzled voice.

"Please babe? I -" I turned into the living room the same moment I figured out who sounded so frazzled and that they figured out who was causing the footsteps.

Lacey bounced over to wrap me up in a hug and chirped, "One last blow out! We have to have fun on our last night together, right?".

"Last night together for just a little while though, right?" I parroted her question form, the real answer to her question stuck within a tangled ball of thread.

Yoongi gave me a well deserved, "what the hell" look and the words unknotted into a coherent line.

"Are you sure you're okay though?" I did my best to show that it wasn't asked to be chastising.

There was a minuscule quiver of her bottom lip and then she cleared her throat. Shaking her shoulders and walking back over to Yoongi. Her voice wavered at first, "No,-" it came back stronger to finish, "but his shows are important to him. I want him to have it and I want to support that.".

Even though her back was turned to me as she did this, her words made me smile with a relief I didn't know I had been waiting for.

"Do you wanna hang out with me tonight then? You know, um, in case you don't feel ok? Or anything like that?" I blurted out the question without thinking about any other factors.

Yoongi's "what the hell" (angry) turned into "what the hell?" (concern + surprise).

Jungkook came back inside.

Lacey agreed.

Jungkook went straight downstairs.

I remember smiling and waving. And taking steps towards the stairs towards JK's room.

----------------------------------------------------------------

"- Amygdala!"

"My amygdala!"

Yoongi's voice flew through the speakers and slammed me back into my body after (an undetermined amount of time) had passed. Jimin and Lacey were both holding my hands on the dance floor - which was pretty much the entire living room and kitchen. We were closest to Yoongi, the entryway and the front door. I don't think a single person there was above the influence. The company at the time and myself included.

I almost started moving to the song. Almost joined the other two as they swung our hands and sang (screamed) along with Yoongi. But there was one person above the influence that night, and we were looking right at each other. Jungkook was using all of the patience and love that he had to gently express "please" in the look he gave me. And then the front door closed. The sound of it crackling throughout my bloodstream like a bolt of electricity.

     The please was following something he had told me earlier. It wasn't anything unreasonable or cruel.

But it hurt.

     "You shouldn't be anywhere around me tonight. I don't want you to be- anywhere around me tonight.".

And that's how I wound up on the dance floor.

Like no-one could see me sobbing.

[sing-to-survive]

Yo! To anyone out there dealing with this musical apocalypse shit too: you're not alone! I'm Emma, and I've been dealing with avoiding this "apotheosis" bullshit for far too long now-!

Emma, chill out a bit, okay? It's an intro post on Tumblr, not a call to arms! You're gonna scare people off!

*ahem*

Hi. I'm Paul. That's...obviously Emma. We run a survivor camp in Hatchetfield for those who have managed to survive the apotheosis. We've decided to make this account in hopes that either someone out there would see this and help us out, or another survivor sees this and we can help them.

Don't be afraid to reach out! We're here to help!

...there. That's probably a bit less intimidating than whatever you were saying. .....I hope this works.

You and me both, Paul.

[OOC UNDER CUT!!! :D]

Hello everyone and welcome to the TGWKLM AU ask blog!!! I'm Disaster from @multi-fandomdisaster & I use any pronouns! For AU context, head over to my main account and look for the tag #tgwklm au, but for a quick recap, Emma and Paul run a post-TGWDLM survivor camp, except Paul is partially infected...and is slowly getting worse... Now hold on tight, because this is gonna be a DOOZY!

There are (technically) 4 different characters that you can send asks to on this account: Emma, Paul, Hive!Paul, and Pokey! Pronouns and text are as follows!

Emma will speak in green, and uses she/her pronouns. All posts where she speaks will be tagged under #emma speaks

Paul will speak in white/black, and uses he/him pronouns. All posts where he speaks will be tagged under #paul speaks

Hive!Paul will speak in blue, and uses they/he pronouns. He'll also notably sometimes use collective pronouns ("we") to refer to himself. All posts where they speak will be tagged under #the hive speaks

Pokey will speak in bold blue, and uses he/they/it pronouns. All posts where Pokey speaks will be tagged under #the singular voice🎶

And last but not least, any & all ooc text will be in red. Ooc posts will be tagged as #Disaster says stuff!

Oh yeah! We may have some guest characters show up from time to time! When they do, their text color will also be black/white, but with quotations, and they'll always sign off with their name at the end. These posts will be tagged under #special guest: [insert character name]!

I politely ask that you please steer away from any NSFW content, as it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Dirty jokes are generally fine, but anything explicit will be deleted and/or ignored.

I'm perfectly fine with angst, violence, & gore on here. A preemptive heads up: this blog will contain ⚠️emetophobia⚠️, as we're dealing with a hive-infected Paul Matthews here, as well as angst and ⚠️potential violence and gore⚠️. I'll try to tag anything triggering as best as I can, but if I ever forget to tag something, miss-tag something, or you would like me to add a trigger tag to a post/to future posts, PLEASE let me know!!! I want you guys to stay safe out there!

Hatchetfield OCs are just as welcome here as canon characters! Bear in mind, though, that it might just take me a little longer to come up with a good response because I don't know the character as well. If you're using an OC, don't be surprised if I message you asking for more info about them!

And with all that said, I hope you have a wonderful day!!! :D

[dearweirdme]

I’ve been spending some time during the past couple of days reading jikookers’ opinions about the sudden appearance of taehyung in the AYS on tumblr blogs (No TW & IG since I care about my mental health), and I can confidently say that to some considerable extent, they’re angry at hybe for hiding taehyung and the marketing of the show and their subverted expectations.

I love them all, All 7 equally (Ok maybe Hobi more than others…I’m not gonna lie😅). I’m not happy seeing any of this happening and I’m not enjoying and feeling smug because of any of this because the toxicity’s level 📈 and I don’t feel safe anywhere around the fandom at moments like this (It literally feels like a apocalypse out there I guess, based on my previous experiences) especially in the midst of Yoongi’s DIU’s controversy which is still going on. (God why is it getting worse every day?🤦🏻)

All I can think about, is how whiny and spoiled jikookers are and how strong and perseverant we, as taekookers, have been over the years. We’ve literally been to hell and back and we’re awaiting an unknown future.

Thank you in advance for listening to my intimate thoughts, Rain.

Hi anon!

It is such a weird thing to be mad about. Only two weeks ago, I was still getting secret jkk asks telling me this travel show was planned by Jk and Jm, and that it wasn't fanservice or company content, but it was something they wanted to do...

And now they are mad because Jk and Jm's plans involved Tae? I mean, I always thought this was content they made for army, I still think that now Tae is also in it. Doesn't mean all three didn't love this opportunity. But it's crazy to get mad because the content you are getting isn't the content you though you were getting when the content you thought you were getting was a honeymoon kinda trip of a non-existing couple (wow..that's a lot of words).

I am staying far away from twitter, and I haven't visited Jkk side for months now (sadly they still come here... but I'm blocking so many of them I can't even read certain replies in other's blogs 😂). I have seen the mayhem from a distance though.. it is a messed up time right now. I'm just hoping members are alright and don't actually witness much of what army is saying.

Hobi is almost back anon!!!! Almost!!

[clown-friend-gt]

Up, Up, and Away: Chapter 1

It's finally happening! I'm finally posting this story in the order it happens, instead of in whatever order I suits my fancy.

In all seriousness, I'm really excited to post this! I have the first few chapters of this story written, so look forward to those soon.

In the future, updates will be spaced out to give me time to (hopefully) write more chapters in between posts, so I've always got a backlog. But today, to celebrate this coming out, I'm going to post the first two chapters one right after the other.

In this chapter, we get the beginning of Trevor's story. If you've read some of the other stuff on my blog, you'll realize he looks a bit different than he does in those. This is because this chapter takes place before his transformation begins.

Link to Masterpost

************************************************************************

New School, Same Story

800 words

(TW: Bullying)

In his first class on his first day of high school, Trevor Castillo sat alone, doing his best to keep to himself. He tried to act natural, doodling in the margins of his notebook like he would on any other given day. But it was difficult when the students at the front of the room were talking about him.

Well, not exactly. They were talking about one of the school’s new counselors. But their topic of conversation concerned him more than they knew.

“My brother says he’s never seen him before, he’s got to be a new staff member or something,” one said.

“But his badge says he’s from the Lively Institute,” said another.

“I’ve heard they send counselors to any school where a student tests positive for the super gene,” the first one responded.

“So what, some kid at this school’s gonna be a superhero or something?” A third one scoffed.

“Could be. Or they could go rogue.”

There was a lull in their conversation.

“So who do you think it is?”

“Me, obviously,” one of them chuckled, flexing his arms. His friends laughed, and their topic of conversation changed soon after.

Trevor grimaced to himself. He remembered being shocked when his doctor told him that they’d detected the SMM gene, otherwise known as the “super gene” in his genetic testing. Everyone his age had to take the test, but he’d never imagined something would come of it. Now, that feeling of shock had subsided into latent anxiety, and he could only hope that nothing would come of it.

Superheroes were like celebrities in the cities they operated in. But Trevor was perfectly content staying out of the spotlight for the rest of his life. He wasn’t really suited for the life of a hero.

If he did end up developing superpowers, maybe it would be something he could hide, and he’d be able to live a normal life. That was the best he could wish for.

Right now, though, he didn’t want anyone to realize he’d been listening in to the conversation about the mystery student. He was convinced that if people learned it was him, it’d only make life harder. He tried to make it look like his full attention was on the page in front of him.

Just keep your head down, he thought to himself. He focused on getting the anatomy of the figure he was drawing just right. Losing himself in something he enjoyed always helped him feel better.

He heaved a sigh, relaxing just a little.

Suddenly, a hand shot out and grabbed the notebook off of his desk and threw it on the ground. He went to look up at who’d done it, but another hand gripped the back of his head and slammed it into the hard surface below him. He let out a cry of pain, his eyes beginning to water.

He glanced up to see everyone else in the room pointedly looking away. No one would make eye contact with him. Even if he normally didn’t want any attention, it still stung when people ignored it when he was bullied right in front of them.

“Morning Castillo,” rang out a familiar voice.

He looked up to see Robbie Deckman, the boy who’d bullied him since middle school. It looked like that wouldn’t be changing anytime soon.

Trevor tried to ignore him. His face throbbed with pain. He reached over to try and grab his notebook from where it lay on the ground, but Robbie placed his foot on top of it and swept it aside. Then he grabbed Trevor’s outstretched arm and yanked him to his feet. With his small size, it wasn’t hard for Robbie to push him around.

Robbie loomed over him. “Whatcha been up to? Same old?” he asked sarcastically while grinding his heel into the drawing Trevor had been working on. Trevor just looked away.

When he didn’t respond, Robbie scoffed and shoved Trevor backwards. He crashed down into his seat.

“See you around,” he said with a sneer. Then he walked off, finding a seat near the back of the room to sit in.

The silence left behind after the confrontation slowly filled up with idle chatter again. Everyone just went on with their lives. Same old, same old, Trevor thought to himself bitterly.

Something had to change.

He cautiously picked his notebook up from the ground. The front page, including the drawing he’d been working on, was wrinkled and torn. With a sigh, he tore out the first page and turned to the one after it, starting his drawing over again.

Maybe Trevor had been wrong earlier. Maybe getting superpowers could be the best thing that could happen to him. Maybe it would mean no one would be able to pick on him anymore.

Or maybe he’d end up an even bigger freak than before.

Next

[jedimasterbailey]

filoni stans just don't quit huh?

"people are mad sabine has force powers because it's badly hidden misogyny-"

oh here we go again as if many people haven't already explained in depth how she's been character assassinated.

heads up everyone, if we don't like filoni's stupid ass decisions and contrived writing it must always be because of sexism, racism and whichever excuse stans use to deflect criticism. this is what happens when we spoil their fun. some of them are sounding like last jedi stans who screamed misogyny and racism when fans rightfully pointed out the badly written script, the way kylo almost took over rey's story and the way poc were mistreated. love how they yell sexism while glossing over how filoni made ahsoka's importance all about a man in this show.

sabine was already a good character in rebels without needing to be force sensitive. she had her own cultural identity as a mandalorian. guess none of that matters now, she gets to follow a rote padawan story that makes no sense for her and wasn't even properly developed. all because filoni is far up his own ass about his special mando jedi ocs while disrespecting established jedi characters. good lord, i'm glad this season is over.

NO THEY DO NOT ANON!!!! And that’s the thing that drives me crazy about Feloni Stan’s is I think his project promote bad behavior. There is so much racism and sexism in these projects that everyone is more than happy to turn a blind eye too. I, on the other hand, cannot condone any of it and I refuse to make excuses for it and I will say exactly what’s on my mind even if others are afraid to because this is ridiculous. There are so many talented writers and minds out there who can continue the Star Wars legacy without going low and create inspiring content that can generate hope in future generations to come but nope we’re still gonna keep ignorant people in high places and produce more crap.

And yes Sabine should have stayed true to who she was. There was no need for this Jedi nonsense.

[amemenojaku]

Askgame 001: Seija/Shinmyoumaru

When I started shipping it if I did: Right when the full version of DDC came out, so... more than 10 years ago... It's hard to believe it's been a full decade LOL

My thoughts: They've been my favorite touhou pairing ever since then so I have a lot of thoughts, but in general I think they're one of the most interesting relationships in the series (and ZUN's favorite in DDC apparently >:3), whether it's interpreted as romantic or not. That being said, there's clearly some kind of affection or attachment in canon given how much they've interacted and how they stuck together in the end despite how things started, and that makes me really happy. I love the push and pull, the "we're partners in crime and then I turn on you and then we're together again etc" of it all... It's just really really good.

The other day I was talking with a friend about the amount of canon content they got for a duo that isn't made of main or recurring characters, and it's actually... a lot... A lot more than I would've believed 10 years ago at least!!

Things done in fanworks that annoy me: I'm not super vocal about it because I did it too back in the day, when there wasn't much to work with besides DDC's basic plot, but with everything we got now I have a hard time enjoying works where Shinmyoumaru's just a poor victim of Seija's lies and nothing else. Or the other way around where there wasn't any conflict and manipulation at all, although that's much more rare lol (but I've seen it)...

Things I look for in fanworks: The main appeal to me nowadays is how they change one another in a way that just wouldn't happen in their interactions with other characters, so I'm very fond of works where her meeting with Seija allowed Shinmyoumaru to finally know freedom, or how Seija somehow both mellows and gets worse when Shinmyoumaru's around, etc. Something else I love to see is pre-DDC works where Shinmyoumaru is aware of Seija's lies but rolls with it anyway. I think it goes well with the previous thing of Shinmyoumaru finally getting to live the life she wanted; she gains something from being a pawn anyway, so why would she care?

Also I am a very simple person and seeing Shinmyoumaru sitting on Seija's shoulder or Seija holding her in her hands (and being gentle as she does so, unconsciously) is always the best to me and I hope people continue drawing/writing that. I eat it up

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Realistically, no one lol. I love what happens when you add Reimu to the equation (and Marisa for even more of a mess), and Reimu/Seija is by far my favorite rarepair, but I don't think any of it would work the way seishin could work (with all its ups and downs, but work nonetheless)...

My prefered future/ending for them: I think they should stay the way they are forever :] I'm serious I think it's already perfect the way it is, with the push and pull and sometimes they fall down and they get back together and they annoy everyone in the process etc. I do think Seija's gonna outlive Shinmyoumaru eventually but that part isn't something I enjoy thinking about, as opposed to other pairs where it's a big aspect of it.

What is their favorite activity together: Going places they haven't seen before (mostly for Shinmyoumaru, I think Seija's been around long enough to know most of Gensokyo), and just moving outdoors in general. There's no way either of them can sit still inside for a while without going nuts. And there's more people to bother outside anyway!! I love pictures of Shinmyoumaru exploring nature and I think Seija who spends most of her time outdoors anyway would appreciate the company, regardless of what she says about it.

[celestie0]

hi Ellie! Just wanted to appreciate ihm chapter 3 because you worked SO hard for us, giving us such an intricate and detailed chapter. I haven't wrote in a while so I'm gonna yap a little 😟

First of all, I apologise that you received such an inconsiderate ask from that anon. Your work deserves to be massively appreciated, especially because you spend the free time you have creating long chapters and imagionative plot lines, yet some people refuse to read the room.

It's so easy to just find a smut creator that willingly creates stories without a plot. You shouldn't be pressured into making smut you don't want to make whatsoever, take your time with your chapters and if you would like to add smut in the future, we will be super excited!

Plots are ten times as better when they are built up in my opinion. Just a simple touch could be added to the already simmering tension. And I believe a writer is truly great when they can build a plot to their own imaginations content.

I also enjoyed the new kickoff chapter too! I'm glad that they're taking their time with their relationship instead of instantly sprinting off to the bedroom. ( That's 99% how it not works! )

So glad you're not taking bullshit from the rude askers and anons that merely hide away from personal preferences, instead of waiting patiently for a new chapter.

Stay hydrated! -xoxo, gossip girl anon :))

HIIII gossip girl bb omg it's been so long!! i hope you're doing well <33

yeah i think refusing to read the room is def a big part of it. i get easily irritated over entitled ppl so it always kindaaa...angers me when i receive asks that demand/pressure/ask for things. it's funny i'm such a people pleaser until ppl actually tell me to do sumn 😂😂

i agree w you, like sometimes a touch or a simple gesture in a fic can hold a lot more tension or weight than explicit smut. i've watched romance series/shows where a simple kiss i felt more butterflies than any sex scene. and while i'm sooo super excited to write smut for my fics too, it's not appropriate for people to ask for it.

i'm so happy to know you enjoyed the kickoff chapter too!! tysm for your kind words, and yes i have had enough of the bullshit lol. you stay hydrated too n have a wonderful dayy <33

[scarecrowmax]

misc. tag game...

Thank you for the tag @the-cinnamontography-is-amazing <3

a band you don’t like that many others do:

not technically a band but taylor swift. i just never really liked her music and i find her so overplayed that it's actually gotten to the point i get annoyed when i hear it played.

a childhood memory that you remember vividly:

one day i came home from school after we got to visit the school library and i borrowed the bailey school kids book about cupids and so when i got home i laid down on my top bunk and read the whole book and finished just in time for dinner and i was so proud of myself for finishing it so fast until i remembered it was gonna be a full week before we got to go back to the library

least favorite animal and why:

i don't necessarily have a least favorite animal but i guess small dogs? i just find them weirdly unnerving and so often they're so loud and badly trained and not washed often enough so they smell and i just don't really like them

hot fandom take:

just because someone/something is popular in the fandom it doesn't mean it/they're good. sometimes people or concepts just suck either in general or for your experience and it's fine to not interact/block/not consume that content if it isn't doing it for you.

do you wear any jewelry, if so, what’s your favorite piece:

i wear a ring on each hand every day and i wear earrings and necklaces sometimes too. i love my rings, my hands feel naked without them honestly, but my current favorite piece is probably a necklace i made out of a broken ring. it was an adjustable one and one side snapped off so i snapped off the other side, added a jump ring through an open part of it and added a chain. it's a spider holding a skull. its super fun and very different to a lot of my other pieces.

a movie others liked but you didn’t:

i'm not really a fan of the original evil dead trilogy. like the concept is cool but the humor, the stop motion animation, and a lot of the deadite makeup is just not really my taste. i do love the 2013 movie though. big fan of that one.

three things you love about yourself:

i've learned to be just okay at things and still have fun doing them, i have really pretty eyes, the fact i make a lot of things be it food or crafts or fandom stuff i just like making things

a place you hope to visit in the future and why:

i'd love to visit somewhere outside the us sometime because i never have before

an actor that gets on your nerves and why:

there's several and honestly it's either their energy or they did some fucked up shit and im tired of people talking about them. im not gonna name names though.

things you’re excited for in the nearby future?:

i'm gonna see a band I really like on the 17th of next month and it's gonna be so great because it's a small venue so I'll almost assuredly have a great view. plus tickets with service fees were $17.50 a piece which rocks. im spending more on gas to see them than on tickets which i find funny.

least favorite ship in a fandom you’re in:

i have zero interest in naming names here, i'll keep that in my exclude tags lists on ao3

what’s the most toxic fandom you’ve been in?:

i don't think i'm actually in any. i don't interact with shit like that because i'm in fandoms to have fun and enjoy shit so i stay out of drama and will block people who suck and then forget they exist

list three things you find beautiful about life:

people care about each other even when we don't know each other, there's a million little joys to be found in life, you can meet someone and have a great time together at an event and never speak again but you'll remember them fondly and do it over and over again.

any dreams for the future?

uhhhh, not really? I've never been a big dreamer. i'm a day by day girlie from way back

how are you really feeling today?

not too bad, i was good earlier but i played a couple video games too long earlier and now my ability to focus my eyes is a little screwy and I've got a bit of a headache

tag you're it if you're up for it @rossmccallsqueen @fromcrossroadstoking @tvserie-s-world

[faulix]

Mhm! I am also rooting for Meteor Impact to get animated bc G O D, but right now the signs are not pointing towards that one right now. Tbh Meteor Impact would be a good one to end on. And yeah, Marionette was in the original anime, but so was Rocket Start. And they also animated a part of RS (conversation between Wataru and Natsume) in the Element anime which is why I was (and still am tbh) leaning to Rocket Start potentially not getting animated. BUT I MUST BELIEVE.

Their climax story is literally an apology for sidelining Trickstar as protagonists so much in !! era, so they could start fixing that problem with RS anime and event ^_^

And yeah they absolutely get a bit sidelined and overshadowed by other units, though sometimes they do give them the favorite child treatment, emphasis on SOMETIMES. Xday, their climax story, for example was AMAZING especially when compared to other unit climax stories. But the rest of !! Trickstar? Ayayaya man... they fell off. Their entire problem throughout the !! era is about how much they fell off, how they're broke and how much ES hates them bc of their troublemaker reputation. They did basically nothing with that at all except for in their climax story (I mean Satellite is also like that but sssshh) where they teases that Trickstar's next arc is gonna be about them once again rebelling and potentially going independent! So I'm excited to see where they're headed in the future and what the actual arc is going to be like.

So imagine getting hit in the face by potential new idols. Goodbye😭

I didn't want new idols in the first place because it'll fuck with the rotation and HappyEle already does pretty poorly with balancing their characters already with focus and such.

But if these new idols end up taking up all the focus again when it looked like Xday was trying to lead to Trickstar making a comeback as the true protagonists, it just makes me sad. I'll stay hopeful until we got more info though, but it's looking bleak out here. Especially the rotation is looking bleak if these new characters are actually playable idols oml.

It really feels like it's gonna be like "hey so Subaru is our posterboy, but do we actually have any plans for him?"

"We do, but we're not gonna do any of that. He'll just stay our posterboy"

Like dude the papahoshi storyline is found dead in Miami, god help me out of here. First they tease he might be alive in Sanctuary which is like 2.5 years ago and then Xday was about gifting Subaru the gift of seeing his dad again through an old video showcasing what papahoshi was like as a dad and now... I can see myself waiting another 5 years. But that's typical for enstars. It's not like papahoshi is the whole reason anything happens here anyways. Not at all. Why would he. And why would his son be important to anything in the plot. Protagonist? No. Just my househusband.

possible rocket start anime announcement 🤝 possible meteor impact anime announcement

one of my friends passing out instantly at the announcement

ok i have not been keeping up with enstars at all but god the rotation would be so fucked. i like that they got some good content in their climax though!!!! honestly it does suck that the revolutionary group got sidelined a lot in !! and now we need !!! for more. and now we have a new idol group for it as well. the story is gonna take 8 years for 1 normal year at this rate

i had no idea any of this was happening. subaru's dad. i genuinely forget about him half the time because no development ever comes from it (that i've seen it's been a while) but do not worry. we have your new househusband/crush to draw more lore from. and another idol group. god help us

[thefirstknife]

I'm happy for people who aren't a fan of gambit, but I hope they eventually slash the amount of seasonal challenges for OTHER areas, too. I don't think it's fair to force people into Vanguard Ops, Crucible, Trials, IB, etc. for the big bundle of bright dust but give a bit of a break to people who hare gambit. It feels very frustrating as a player who never gets the bright dust bundle because I detest being forced into those other modes. People who hate gambit get a break but those of us who hate crucible or IB or trials or nightfalls just have to continue to such it up and either keep grinding content we hate or accepting we don't get the big bright dust bundle. I think gambit haters should have to continue to suck it up, too, to keep things fair.

Yeah, agreed. I'm really glad that people who dislike the mode won't be forced into it. It helps them, because they're not forced to play something they don't like, but it also helps people who DO like the mode because I'm not gonna have people who afk or throw games to get them over with faster.

I definitely agree that the same should be for other activities. Obviously this is tough to balance and all, but all challenges that are based on playlists should have alternatives to do in other playlists. So if this week's challenge is to get void kills in Crucible, it should actually be phrased as "get void kills in Crucible OR Vanguard ops." And if that makes you not have enough challenges, just add more playlist challenges in general. Instead of making two challenges like "get void kills in Mayhem" and "play strikes with an arc subclass," have both of those and make them valid in all playlists. So you keep two challenges and they can be done in either playlist.

For the record, you can always skip several challenges and still get the big bright dust reward at the end. If I remember correctly, it started with being able to skip 2, but ended up growing substantially over the seasons. Last season I'm pretty sure I skipped 4-5 challenges and got the final reward. This season you can skip A LOT. You can definitely skip all Crucible ones, which I've personally done. If you do the 10 seasonal bonuses, they count towards your challenges score which means you can skip 10 challenges total just from that:

Plus the usual challenges you can skip anyway which for me is currently at 13 challenges skipped (might have been more, I think I completed one or two after I got the dust already). This is my current situation, you can see how many I didn't finish and that I got the dust:

Just in case people didn't know! I hope this stays in the future as well, it made it much more bearable and less grindy. You definitely have enough time to still grab the extra dust with 2 weeks left. Some of the challenges and bonuses are really fairly easy to focus on and get done in a fairly short amount of time.

I really hope that they keep this and that we'll be able to do these in any playlist, not just for rewards, but also for these weekly challenges for bright dust.

[ghost-data-writing]

Hello, fellow people on the other side of the screen!

*clears throat*

Alright, I didn't think it would be that hard, to set up a new blog, but here we go! So much time has passed since I've had my first blog on this platform and I kinda have to say... I somewhat missed it. Hell, I was a stupid kid back then, doing nothing more but scrolling through here and reblogging/liking anime pics.

This, right here, won't be the same.

Back then I was afraid to post my writings online since english isn't my first language but I was working hard to get to the point where I am now. This post won't contain the first story I'll ever throw out here but it should be a nice, little info-post to what to expect at least. Because... Honestly spoken, it would have felt rude just to post my first work, never saying a thing and up and leave again. So here is what to expect from me as a writer in both, original and fanfic-writing.

Most of you will probably find me through fanfics, so we're just gonna start with that.

What fandoms am I working in?

・Like A Dragon/Yakuza

I'm probably gonna spend most of my time dwelling there. This franchise was a companion of mine for so long, it's where my heart is, so... Most of my content probably revolves around it. On the side I may drop works of JJBA or Metal Gear Solid but those are rather rare occasions. (I've even posted The Evil Within 2 content once.)

What pairings are going to be expected?

・Majima/Nishitani - Goromi/Nishitani ・Majima/Kiryu - Goromi/Kiryu ・Nishitani/Majima/Kiryu - Nishitani/Goromi/Kiryu

Everything will probably be set around those characters since I vibe with them the most. And I'm simping for Goromi/Majima. There, I said it. Still I may be thinking about Seonhee/Saeko BUT-! That's for another day.

18+ content?

Yup, definetly most of it. Even some pwp between longer stories here and there. So please be cautious, I'm gonna tag everything as good as possible.

And that's about it for the fanfic content. Regarding original works there is not much to say but genres like dark romance, horror, erotic and fantasy are most likely to be expected. And that about sums it up!

First of all, I wanted to thank everyone who kept reading until this point. I'm really not a fan of infodumping but I thought it might be better.

I hope were gonna meet again some time in the future, once I post my first LAD/Yakuza work!

Stay tuned and thank you for reading,

Aris/GhostData

P.S. For anyone who may wants to look into the things I've written so far; here is one expample (Fandom: The Evil Within 2) for you to read:

Have fun and see y'all soon!