#hoping praying to god this doesn't make people angry but if it does feel free to block me i don't mind and i really dont want to argue

[devondespresso]

writing my silly little fic and again im struck with how much opportunities they missed by pretending the s2 stancy breakup wasn't messy, specifically for Nancy's guilt about barb and forcing herself to grow up too fast

like s1 Nancy spends one night being a stupid teenager goofing off at her boyfriend's party and staying over to get spicy while Barb goes home. then she later realizes Barb disappeared and died that one night she was letting go and having fun. this is widely recognized trauma for her and informs a lot if not most of her actions through the rest of the show

in season 2 she's feeling the weight of it more around the first year anniversary. steve trys to help by taking her to a party to forget for a little while and 'be stupid teenagers' for a night. a perfectly set up parallel already

the way the show wants it to go, we get the bullshit argument, they fight, allegedly break up at some point, and nancy sleeps with Jonathan. later steve tells her to go with him and we're supposed to read it as Steve stepping back so jancy can happen. we're supposed to be seeing this as a happy ending.

but with the material we're given this would have been the perfect place for an emotional repeat of season 1 for nancy. she and steve go to the party and pretend to be stupid teenagers for the night. but oh no! nancy lets lose too much, lets herself relax and drink and dance, and the next day her boyfriend's pissed. hes saying she said things she never remembered saying and its hurt him and she doesn't know what to do. and kids around school are talking about them breaking up at the party, and that fits with Steve's anger she saw, so they must've broken up right? it sucks, even if she wasn't in love with him, that'd be the worst way to break up with someone (especially if she's confusing platonic and romantic feelings or convincing herself it has to be romantic when she really just values him as a friend)

and then she doesn't have time to work it out, she needs to go with Jonathan to avenge barbs 'disappearance' to give her family closure. She's got a lot of conspiracy shit to do and its stressful. so when murray starts going off about how she's not really in love with steve, how she actually likes Jonathan and he seems to like her back. they finished a lot of the hard work with the conspiracy stuff, she can let her guard down and have a quick good night.

then the next day is chaos. demodogs and labs and will being possessed. It a rough fucking day. Steve tells her to go with Jonathan while they get the mindflayer out of Will, civil like they're on good terms so she does (and thank god she did because that was rough and they needed all the help they could get)

and then everything's fine again, with the upside down. and it looks like she handled things better this time, was about to relax occasionally and still made it through.

except apparently she and steve didn't break up. he thought it was just a few fights, that they put their shit aside for the apocalypse and now they can work things out.

and it could ruin nancy. a year later and she's still hasn't learned her lesson, that letting her guard down hurts the people she cares about, that relaxing and having fun makes her lose people. its her fault for the messy breakup with Steve and its her fault that barb is gone. she's the reason she's lost friends close to her, 2 for 2, and now she only has Jonathan left (and what do you know, season 3 has her conflict with Jonathan and in season 4 she's not let anyone else get truly close to her and fred still dies)

you see what i mean?? by having conflict magical resolve itself in the background we loose so much powerful, painful character drama for her. our girl who thinks she has to keep the world around her up solely on her shoulders because she can't handle the loss of her best friend in season 1. Nancy who desperately wants to be normal and have people she loves but keeps losing them, through factors both in and out of her control, but feels like everything has to be her fault just because some things were.

and to be fair, that story is still present in the show. its there and definitely compelling, but it could've been even more so. i feel like if maybe there was less 'nancy has to be a strong independent girlboss' in there (abd it's definitely there, they want to make a point of making her a Strong Woman Character so bad) and she was allowed to have mistakes acknowledged by the narrative, this is the direction it would've gone. She could've been an excellent example of well written women who are strong and awesome through their own right instead of the narrative trying to make us like her

[the-genius-az]

imaginary war AU

The posts about the ATLA kids having various mental illnesses and developing a real-life roleplay of the 100-year war doesn't wanna leave my head, so have some headcanons =] (this is gonna be long so buckle up)

Azula

-16 yo

- (paranoid) schizophrenia/schizoaffective, childhood abuse (cPTDS)

- a machievillian

- hallucinates 90% of the time, she's always in her own world

- when not, she's a very quiet, closed off person

- admitted at 11 after suddenly snapping at her mother leaving

- firmly believes the anti-pshycotics/any pill they give her is the same poison her mother 'gave to their grandfather'

- Azulon died a natural death without Ursa's intervention

- Has a god complex

- fully believes she's 'Agni' at times (a deity from her imaginary world)

- every time the sun shines on her or it's sunny outside, she makes sure everyone knows her 'bending' is completely pure (meaning she attacks everyone close enough)

- she has martial art knowledge and uses it against the nurses

- Ty Lee and Mai are the only people she feels like she can trust (her mental state will collapse even further when Ty Lee and Mai leave)

- has no hope of getting better

- 24/7 supervision

- Zuko is both her ancor to reality and the reason for her hallucinations

Zuko:

-18 yo

- cPTSD, HORRIBLE anger issues (intermittent explosive disorder/disruptive mood dysregulation disorder)

- Goes into blind rage often

- random hallucinations and delusions

- knows Azula is struggling but oftentimes cannot make himself care enough to help her or just talk to her normally

- Azula's hallucinations hurt him, so he gets aggressive and very snide (that makes Azula's hallucinations worse, and his 'charater' in her world be her enemy)

- cares for people, but holds grudges for forever

- Iroh helps him regulate his anger when he visits

- getting better slowly

Ty Lee:

-15yo

- synesthesia, hyperactive ADHD, depression

- doesn't know that Azula's imaginary world is a product of her illnesses

- plays along because she thinks that everyone is just bored and has a game going on to fill in the time

- Talks a lot

- a child of abusive domestic labor

- she both ran away from home and tried to commit suicide to escape her parents

- is getting better and will get released soon (every nurses dreaded day)

Mai:

-17yo

- Alexithymia, social apathy

- she either refused to comply with her parents for whatever reason so they sent her here or she put Tom-Tom in danger

- does no give a FUCK about what the nurses say (she's either very uncooperative or does the exact opposite of what was asked of her)

- feels wronged all the time

- prods at Zuko because he's 'free entertainment' when he gets angry

- when bored out of her mind, she listens to Azula's blabbering or pisses off Zuko

- plays along when alone with Ty Lee and Azula

- no signs of getting any better, but the nurses have no reason to keep her in the asylum except her parents paying to keep her there

*Quick background break about the monks before I talk about Aang!*

- the Avatar is a diety they believe in, kind of like how Shaolin monks believe in Buddhism

- it's a very gated community

- only family members or very few handpicked people can join the monastery

- it's basically Shaolin monks but less hardcore on discipline and performance

*Anyway back to the charaters*

Aang:

-14yo

- god/savior complex, religious psychosis

- believes he's the Avatar and will bring peace and balance to the world

- for some reason, Ozai is his nemesis (he's seen him maybe twice when Ozai visited Azula)

- gets very aggressive and irritated when Ozai is mentioned or if he sees him

-keeps most of his routine from before his admittion (meditating, exercising, praying...)

- always freaks out so hard when his hair starts to grow back that he has to be immidiately shaven (if not, he gets either aggressive or paranoid)

- wishes to cure others with his 'Avatar powers'

- no chance of release, but he is usually allowed to roam freely without supervision

Toph:

-13yo

- anxiety, childhood abuse victim

- got in trouble with the authorities and got sent to the asylum after trying to harm security at the juvenile prison she was in

- both sad and happy she's away from her home

- rebels all the time

- youngest person in the asylum

- Is vary of Azula ever since Azula tried to attack her

- sometimes plays along the 'war' (usually on the opposing team as Azula) just to have an excuse to talk shit to Azula straight to her face

- was incredibly sheltered (like in canon), but her parents ignored her even more

- has an avoidant attachment style

- bounds of extreme coldness or rudeness against people she considers friends

- probably will get released, but she attacks nurses/gets worse whenever her release date gets close

Katara:

-19yo

- I don't think she would have any illnesses that would land her in the asylum

- I think she'd be a med student/nurse

- cares for the girls

- has a way of getting Azula to take her meds, Ty Lee to settle down...

- very calm and friendly but pretty easily irritable (Mai annoys her all the time)

- got attacked by Zuko so bad she had to take a month long break

- Azula is the reason she's in therapy (both because of how Azula's deteriorated mental state makes her pity Azula and because Azula verbally berates her all the time)

Sokka:

-21yo

- a nurse

- takes care of the guys

- only one strong enough to hold Zuko down when he has one of his fits

- Zuko's #1 caretaker

- a beloved nurse even though everyone swears he gets on their nerves

- Him and Toph are best buds

- was the first one to see Azula out of her hallucinations as she was roaming the asylum (he still wonders how the confident and prideful Azula is the same person as the hollow and quiet girl he found that day)

I dont have any specific headcanons for Suki and Yue so tell me yours if you have any

Might do a part 2 about my hc about how the 'war' works

-Squid

I don't want to write so as not to ruin this beauty.

Please send your other ideas, Squid.

[khaire-traveler]

Can gods be disappointed in you? Not in a sense of doing something bad bad but like failing to be strong for yourself? Because I feel like I've let my god down this whole weekend by being super stressed and anxious about something that wound up not even happening. My friend playfully put it into my head that this thing came about right when I decided that I wanted to venerate this particular deity and while I don't personally want to accept that this happened, I grew up in a cult that I am still working my way through my RTS and the mindset to immediately blame myself is very strong. But can gods be disappointed in us for failing? I tried, I really really really tried to reduce my anxiety and tried distraction, pep-talk, and logical deduction but none of it worked and I was too afraid to pray out of fear that it might make everything worse. I was also told not too recently that because I have religious trauma that I shouldn't even be worshipping deities until I am fully healed but I feel like that can't be right.

Hey, friend, thank you for trusting me with this ask. 🫂 I hope you don't mind me answering this publicly; I feel that others can learn something valuable and important from your situation in a positive way.

So, let's address the question itself first, then I will address the rest of your ask, ok? The answer to the question is unrelated to your specific situation; I will explain why later.

Can gods be disappointed in you over little things?

The short answer is yes. Like us, gods feel a wide variety of emotions - anger, joy, sorrow, etc. They can be disappointed; I've had it happen before myself, actually. But disappointment is not as bad as people make it out to be. Sure, they can get disappointed, but they still love and care about you. They still want to watch you thrive and excel. Plus, just because they may be disappointed doesn't necessarily mean you always did something wrong; it just means you chose to do something they disagreed with. They're not going to punish or harm you for making your own decisions; that's the whole point of having free will. So, can the gods get disappointed in you over little things? Yes, absolutely, but it's nothing to worry too strongly about. Everyone has disagreements at some point. What's important is overcoming those disagreements.

Here's why I don't think your gods are disappointed in you

Gods will NEVER be shitty about mental illnesses. They will NOT be angry with you for struggling with a mental illness, nor will they blame you for it. Unlike some humans, the gods understand that mental illness isn't something we can control, and even when we try our best to cope, sometimes the illnesses can overwhelm us. They would never be angry at you, or anyone else, for that. You were struggling a lot with your anxiety, and I bet, more than anything, your gods probably wanted to be able to help and comfort you. They care for you and your well-being. Even in our worst moments, we can turn to our gods. Remember that, ok? They are here to help humanity in its struggles - both as a whole and individually - and they're not going to be upset with you for being anxious. 🫂

Now addressing that comment at the end

You can worship gods while still healing from religious trauma. Whoever told you that you can't doesn't know what they're talking about, simply put. How do I know? I have religious trauma, and I worship a lot of deities. I also know many pagans and polytheists with religious trauma who currently worship deities and are still healing. Does religious trauma make it hard to worship deities sometimes? I think so, yes, but that doesn't mean you're not allowed to worship them or something. People struggle with things sometimes and that's ok - that's natural. Sometimes working through that struggle can actually be a big part of healing from the past. You are more than welcome to worship your deities, ok? Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. You belong within this community as much as the next person, and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you worshipping your deities while healing from religious trauma. So, please, feel free to pray your heart out to your deities. Talk to them as much as you want, make as many offerings as you'd like, spend as much time with them as you can - worship your gods, and do so freely with the knowledge that you can. No one can take away your right to worship.

-

I hope this helped to reassure you and ease some of your anxieties. Thank you for trusting me enough to answer this ask. I hope you take good care of yourself, and have a wonderful night/day. 🫂🧡

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

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A post shared by snoopdogg (@snoopdogg) on May 26, 2020 at 10:01pm PDT

One of my new passions

This latest with one cop on a niggas neck and one on his lungs and another on his legs while he was handcuffed.

Has me black out murderous rage against all 4 cops present.

I wish our society felt safe enough to attack racist bigots that abuse their power to murder for no cause.

Had those people standing around been able to attack those police and save that man... I don't blame them. I feel sorry for the sight they saw. But I know I would have.

I wish more people had the courage to be crazy like me and do what it takes to save a life.

As i said i don't blame them, many times I haven't been brave as i wanted to be.

I'm thankful they were courageous enough to video this way justice can be served. I read one person did talk back and advocate.

I wish we had the mob mentality to save his life.

Tree informs me the one standing to the side kept calling for backup to help the victim.

Tree does inform me the victim whom died was indeed an ass hole whom I would have killed myself but I would also have killed all three cops.

Thus it's a racist and crime of hypocrisy from those cops... What it was is they were all working together and they had the store call when he was in Just to kill him. As I suspected it was full blown murder. Nothing less.

Tree says they were all laundering drug money together. The 4 police.

The one holding the legs and the one standing alone didn't really want to kill their accomplice. The one standing realize he would be next and so he tried to stop the death of the victim. Tree informs me.

That is all the information tree says we need to know.

I feel if it's an off duty job they should done it without their uniforms. But they chose to represent the Minneapolis, Minnesota police as white men and kill a topless black man in handcuffs while completely defenseless against whom he thought was his friends.

Tree says "to prove they were tough"

I think it's more than that. I think they were trying to prove black lives do not matter and they wanted to prove that all people, no matter their color but most especially African American, are powerless and they have all the power. And theyre invincible. Its far beyond being tough, it's being Godly.

And tree and i spoke about how the man was shirtless and while i couldn't see much of his body due to the car, it looked like he did work out and was buff. And as Tree points out as i did see as well "it took four of them to take that strong black man down" "So it didn't prove they were tough but weak and surly not godly but pompous asses wearing the orange style masks." Says tree and i quote exactly

It makes me angry. I would screamed that at them. How weak they were. As a young person I would pulled them off and fought them.

I feel so much rage, I probably would now.. They would be lying there bleeding and I would look around and go "huh. Oh. Look what I did" then walk away quietly as they lied to themselves it didn't happen that some fst broken hearted lady with bad hips and back whom can barely walk knocked them all out in less than 30 seconds and didn't even really notice she did.

The purse i have today is small but it is an elegant and nicely built hard sided purse. If I was there i would hit them in the head at least 90 mph and knocked them the fuck out and caused internal bleeding like I did Denise then kicked them to cause it to burst all in less than 30 seconds. My body in auto mode and i would feel nothing. No pain. Only strength from God in heaven. And my parents, that are true angels would protect me from danger. So i could walk away free and clear without a broken purse.

It only takes one person. Not a mob mentality. But I wish we had that. I wish we all had that goodness from God that causes us to black out with rage against injustice.

I know tree tells me the victim was Zulululu and y'all know i hate them. But it isn't the point. The point wad the actions of the police.

Now take the same 4 people. The black guy and the 3 white guys in an alley all in sweat pants and wife beaters and tattoos. I wouldn't care. Because it would represent their relationships. They were all co-conspirators in money laundering and in cahoots to be in a friendship, all 5 of them regardless of color.

Putting on their uniforms changed all of that.

When I'm meeting with kidnappers. Money laundering. Murderers. Usually I am the only girl. The only Madame. The only Mob Boss Type that is female.

So apply gender to color... Im just one of the guys. Im not there to have sex or be raped. Usually they try but usually one of the others get jealous or i have a real protector to stop it from happening.

So apply color to gender. I'm just one of the guys. The victim of African American decent is no different than the ones of European. If one of the guys tries to kill me then they do and i can fight back. Same with color. If 3 white guys pounce a black guy he has the right to fight back

It is about context.

As a girl if i try to kill one of the guys they have a right to fight back

If an African American tried to kill an European American like myself the European has a right to fight back

But making it a cop vs criminal when the cops are criminals as well becomes a totally different scenario.

If I saw 5 Zulululu all standing in the alley and they are marked (these were not and wouldn't be as they are non violent [or were] and were just drug dealing and not human trafficking) and 1 was black and 2 was Asian and 2 were white, i would kill them all equally. The same exact 5 guys in any clothes including police uniform marked for kidnapping or rape. I would killed them all equally.

However in this situation that did actually occur. I would have saved the black man. Because of presentation.

Doesn't matter he's Zulululu. Or he laundered money. Its the presentation of 3 white cops killing one black man.

I see people. Bodies. I dont see alien race.

I see race of human skin and cultural differences and abuse of power.

So I would have saved the victim despite who he was.

Now May be I would found out after he was a human trafficker and if he was released at home, I would then go murder him in cold blood myself after saving him. IF that was the situation and i found out the TRUTH after wards. I would realized i made a mistake

If the media made a fuss, i would admit to it.

As part of the CIA and part of a Pentagon task force by default, I am allowed to do such things. Legally. As a military operation.

So, I'm not speaking as a private citizen. Or just a regular random person.

I'm not speaking as a police officer -- it is Illegal for police to do such a thing.

But as part of the military I am allowed

My mortgage company doesn't require me to pay my mortgage because i am listed as a MIA/POW. Location unknown.

Which means i have military status. As part of the military and as a counter head in the CIA.

MIA is missing in action due to amnesia and my physical handicap and disabilities like walking and standing.

POW is prisoner of war. As you all noted on the T.V. and here the aliens are trying to play "capture the queen" which is me. And currently Nathaniel and Denise have me as a POW.

Location unknown. Means they don't know my ability to focus or what I can do. What Alice in Wonderland Rabbit Hole I'll pop out next.

So i don't pay the mortgage. The mortgage says its okay. We will hold onto it. When the military and government can find you and save you, they will give you money you can pay.

Because as a MIA/POW. Location unknown. I do not receive a paycheck. So, the mortgage company understands that when i am found then there will be a large sum of payments waiting for me to be paid out. My monthly paycheck. They hold it for me in hopes i will be found and returned home. In the event of my death, the mortgage company is promised to be paid what is owed from my payments owed to me with permission of my next of kin.

This occurs with will MIA/POW. Location Unknown in the military and contractors that may have been kidnapped that work abroad.

So it is a nice perk.

To be tortured and held captive. In Hell to find out you have all your paychecks waiting and your home? Its pretty fucking amazing.

So that's pretty much all there is to say

Of course thank you for saving my house. I sure prayed a lot about it. And begged for mercy.

And I'm sorry for the people who witnessed the murder of a black man. And I'm thankful it was recorded and no one else was hurt.

At least you know the truth about him. And I hope that does squelch a little of that rage. Hopefully it gets illegal drugs off the streets. That shit is bad.,cocaine and heroin. I hate that shit.,but not as much as human trafficking

Of course I'd kill a bitch on herion pretty fucking fast