#hoping it isn't bleading

[princemick]

i dropped like what im guessing is a 30 kg trashcan on my toes tonight so thats how I am

[mursakisstuff]

I've seen lots of pics of them either in Manga or a fan art but this one.. I always stop at this one..

Sebastian never shows vulnerability or even slightest show of affection, feelings were never his strong suit, not that he ever needed to, his actions are enough for anyone to know what and who really matters to him, their life is always risky, the young master is always ready for whatever threats await him, Sebastian understands this very well, but sometimes he slips, times like when a disaster is averted by sheer luck and none of them is dead not that he can die but Ciel can..

Moments like these he slips, his mind fixated on an old memory of a cold young body he almost failed to save, moments when his mask is cracked and all Ciel's insults are answered by silence, Sebastian who is always vocal about their little game of salty witted conversations would not even look at him staring at his hands, calm on the outside but in the inside there is a storm knocking his walls down, Ciel was in danger and he wasn't quick enough, what's his use if he can't do the one thing he was summoned to do, no, not summoned, that was a long time ago, it's not a job anymore he reminds himself, his foolish self, so fond of the child he accepts to stay and serve, not for a promise of his soul but for a hope to make him human once again, he is too old to care for his but Ciel he is just a child, no one has to go through this fate like he did and especially not Ciel, but.. But maybe he is getting weak or letting his guard down, maybe Ciel would be better with someone else, someone who is stronger than him, someone who won't froze on seeing how close call it was, yeah maybe it's time to leave, a butler who can't protect his master isn't worth his salt

He doesn't seem to notice that he is no longer standing any more but rather kneeling on the floor in front of a worried Ciel, his young master worried! That's something you don't see often, he is now calling his name demanding him to look at him at once, now that's more like him

And Sebastian does, of course he does, expecting to be faced with anger he finds concern, oh he was talking outloud, and now Ciel will ask him to leave, no such weakness was ever tolerated, he surly knows, he taught him that.

"Would you stop that already! You're one silly demon indeed, talking to yourself like that, it's irritating and completely ubsurd, no one is leaving"

"But.. You could have been killed because of me!, how could you.. how can I..?" why can't he see that it's his fault? Why is he not angry with him like he should be!?

"Bleading to death and could barely move and expects himself to be able to get to me in time! Are you an idiot, Sebastian? And, no I'm not angry at you, I'll be if you don't stop speaking like that, I can take care of myself and of course I know you can't always be there, what do you think? I'm not some damsel in distress, so collect yourself at once" He never saw Sebastian like this before, it's not like he didn't face worse before but it was the first time that Sebastian wasn't there, first time since that day, oh..

"Sebastian, look at me please"

Wasn't he looking? Oh, he looked down again, staring to his useless self, he looked up slowly and there it was, the smile he is doing all of this to perserve, a small faint one but warm one too

Ciel is smiling at him with his hands stretched out to him and without thinking he leans into his touch hugging him tightly like if he doesn't he would fade away, but Ciel doesn't fade, he is there with hand around him comforting him, if that's what would it take for Sebastian to calm down, he would let his walls down as well, taking off the mask just this time, even people like them need reassuring and Sebastian was always there every time he had one of those nights so why wouldn't he be there for him too, after all they're bound to each other.

"I'm not going anywhere Sebastian, I promise"

And Sebastian believes him, not just for this night, but for the rest of their lives, he will always believe him, Ciel is safe and he is alive, he didn't fail, he can finally breathe.