#hoping everyone else is safe
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So early days hhau question... did Grian and Scar ever consider that there might be other hermits in this world too?
We know ultimately there wasn't, but they thought they were alone before they found each other, right? So would they think there's a chance or did they not want to think about that?
-🎀
It’s absolutely something they considered, and ultimately hoped to be wrong about.
But truthfully, Grian and Scar didn’t have the luxury to spend much time with wistful thinking of reuniting with any other hermits when they first found each other. Grian was weak, on the verge of fever and suffering from blood loss, while Scar was just scrambling to survive— to allow both of them to survive.
I think if the thought did occur to them, they snuffed it out. Because the chances of finding someone else friendly while tucked away hiding? Not looking so good. They’d be much more likely to find a familiar corpse.
It’s much easier to just imagine they’re alone.
In many ways, they both wish they were truly alone.
That the other didn’t have to be stuck in this hell with them.
#I wish you weren’t here scar… but I’m glad you are#from the fic I believe<3#hhau#link answers#ribbon anon#when they talk about the other hermits it’s as if season 9 started without them in their minds#hoping everyone else is safe#and will someday find them#hopefully#maybe#until eventually#they don’t believe in rescue anymore
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If I had a nickel for every time a SMP server was ending due to unprompted circumstances and the characters were all being doomed by the narrative to tragedy, but Philza Minecraft the man he is, somehow scourged up enough to give his cubito a happy ending despite the circumstances, I would have two and thank god the streamer decided to give something hopeful considering how miserable everyone else is
#dsmp#qsmp#philza#i honestly am so glad because everyone else is having their characters get raked in muck and shit rn#and emotionally I don't think I could have handled everything if my favorite cubito was also being fucked over as well#was everything perfect no but look at least crow man is eeping with his children (and hopefully Missa) and they are together#in a safe place being taken care of by a powerful goddess and away from the Feds that have tormented them for the last year#honestly the best ending we could have hoped for with the circumstances so I will take it as it is really#i am being positive here alright#especially with fit's bittersweet sad hopeful narrative right over yonder today#saph rambles
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Wow....wow....wow....
#hsr spoilers#idk what to feel anymore#i thought 2.1 turned my brain into mush i was clearly naive#i followed the quest through a playthrough and i'm already having an existential crisis#wonder how everyone else is doing#it's relieving to know that aventurine is safe but sunday.............#will need extra time to organize my feelings and thoughts for him#now don't misunderstand the quest made me love him even more it's just... his story really is sad#i sure do hope they give him closure and a chance#my favorite moments has to trailblazer gaining the harmony path and the last cutscene where robin saves sunday :(#you can't enjoy the penacony story if you play with a speedrunning mindset#take breaks and let the acquired information soak#and the fact that there's still more left phew...#harmonysan.txt
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The amount of doomerism I've heard from fellow usamericn zoomers/millennials around me is starting to drive me fucking insane.
"We're all gonna die, it's hopeless, it's not worth doing anything. This is our penance as human beings/[insert other guilty identity]"
You know who you guys fucking sound like? Fucking Evangelicals.
Yeah it's fucking scary and big, I'm not trying to say it isn't. But what the fuck is your plan??? Sitting down and dying?? Are you really telling me that this world is not worth you even fucking trying?? That you're just gonna party it out until your miscellaneous end game apocalypse arrives?
This isn't the rapture. The apocalypse is a false concept. People have been living through "apocalypses" every day of their fucking lives for all of human history, especially during the past 400 years. Get up and stop the suicidal idealization of your own tragic death. Our lives in the first world are built off suffering. To lay down and say we don't have any power is to reject the duty we have as beneficiaries of that suffering.
If you are so convinced you're going to die young then die trying instead of baring your fucking throat.
#going to r/collapse pisses me off because some people are genuinely trying to do community gardens and become more self sustainable#and others are like “the third world is done for at least im safe for the time being in the first world :((((”#the “third world” isn't your fucking sacrificial lamb for climate guilt. acting like it's over for billions of people when people are tryin#to survive and innovate and prepare and help themselves is fucking selfish#and moving away from the usa may help you but everyone else is still fucking there and the us will still suck resources from everyone else#the same people who don't vote in anything and then go “oh well it was a given” when shit people get in office like babes you could've done#something about that#climate change#sorry im just pissed today. my housemate keeps saying stupid doomer shit like “hope i die before it gets too bad haha”#like we are both puerto rican don't you think our homeland is worth saving???#to be clear it doesn't have to be extreme action! its something im fighting through too#learning how to be more self sufficient outside of capitalism also conveniently means a more sustainable lifestyle!#and im not perfect at all i want to do more#but im so sick of people just accepting this shit and saying it like its a fucking joke#i get it is a coping mechanism and trust me i get sad too but like jesus christ people are eat the rich until its time to actually#think of a plan or what a survivable future might actually fucking look like and how we help each other get as close to possible.#whatv compromises we have to make until one day it's not a compromise but a goal#and yeah it might not work but i don't want to obliterate any chance of it either#what's the quote from the sophie video? “people can visualize the end of the world more then the end of capitalism”#doomerism#climate justice#gen z#generation z#millennials#climate
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my mom keeps listing off things i need to do and accusatorily asking why i never do anything like art anymore n i am just. so exhausted. ive never been more tired i just want to burrow myself in the earth n disappear in the cold dirt
#i dont have energy for art and i honestly never have#ive never been creative#drawing sucks everything out of me and it takes me hours what it does other people a few minutes#i wasnt built for it either maybe#everything about living is so difficult for me#i cant even b loose and doodle#it doesnt happen#how can i think i was made to live when i cant even make art#silly joyful moments everyone else can#nothing feels good to me#except being with my boyfriend#im scared im gonna ruin everything#if not already w the way i look#then with how useless n empty n just snapping at everything to go away i get when im lost those bad things#ive never felt safe with anyone before so maybe itll be different but still im Scared#& on my own . its always the same its always tainted w that ache that dirty stain on everything that hits like nails being driven into me#i cant go shopping#i cant listen to music#i cant feel the sun on me or listen to birds#i cant look at water#i cant go grocery shopping#i cant even hear the sound of metal cutlery#only 1 second and im gone#lost in the agony n dizziness#i want to think i can escape it i can get better#but i dont know if i can#or how much false hope i can keep forcing myself through#it always comes back to me#no matter how much i hide n avoid it all#because im the problem
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Happy Baltimore Pride, the parade starts in 3 and a half hours and I'm already exhausted
#am i excited to be in the parade for the first time ever? yes. am i as an audhd disaster already overwhelmed? yuh.#also like. for all the team/the pres and the few sober members are trying to make it safe for us pride just isnt sober/recovery friendly#like on the grand scheme big picture culturally i mean. yes you can easily avoid alcohol during daytime hours at the streetfair etc#but ive only seen one event very clearly advertise no alcohol. the rest is very much the shots shots rail liquor sponsored by x booze etc#and thats not to say it shouldn't be im not trying to ruin the fun for everyone else thats not what this is.#its more an observation of - damn. im four months into recovery with alcohol as an autistic bipolar person. this might suck.#like this might be really hard and not be as fun as I'd hoped and I'm grieving the fact i never got the experience the pride others did#the free unhinged party that my teammates have been constantly talking about in the chat for the last week#they're already cracking open beers im sure and the grilling starts at 11am at our parade spot so that they can start drinking and save $#im used to being on the outside of the glass but its always a smidge uncomfortable. it helps having sober teammates with me#but a part of me worries about this weekend i guess.#just... not feeling great in our body. bones feel wrong. everything feels tired and heavy. poor monster doesn't want to be seen.
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Honestly, I never meant to you to feel this way. I just wanna say sorry for ever hurting you ♥️ (/genuine)
you’re a liar and i hate you
your comment about making me feel physically ill was sarcastic as fuck, you specifically keep evading my attempts to block you, and you have shown to be keeping track of this, as shown by your previous ask questioning me on if i am going to block every new follower i get
if you were sorry, i wouldn’t be responding to you again, and you would’ve fucked off after the first few asks
this is the last response i’m giving you
#i did report you. i hope it goes through because i never want to see any sign of you ever again#(i’m sorry everyone else i just. i had to say something about this one. anon is getting into misusing tone tags and sweet talking territory#i do not approve. this is not the way i want to be treated.#this was supposed to be my escape. it was supposed to be a place for me to go and feel like i don’t have to walk on eggshells#how am i supposed to feel safe here anymore when anyone i meet could be this anon here? the answer is that i can’t)
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The Darkling is literally "Die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain"
#young aleks: i want to make a safe space for grisha 😊#aww i hope that bright little idea doesn't get corrupt <33#older aleks: i want the whole world to be a safe space for grisha. as in. I'll kill most everyone else#eren yeager core#grishaverse#shadow and bone#demon in the wood#the darkling#shadow and bone trilogy
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galen erso worst dad in the galaxy award for several reasons but like... giving his mass murder machine his beloved daughter's childhood nickname was absolutely banarama. out of his absolute gourd. it's like if you had a kid and named it lockheed martin and then the us government bombed her apartment while she was mid-hookup with her tinder date
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💚 For Taivan please! Bonus points if it’s eerie and dark-fairy-tale-ish. Thanks!
💚 true love's kiss / magic kiss / healed
There's no way to set alarms out in the woods, so Taissa makes a deal with the thing inside her head. At night, the Other can roam. Do what she will. Find her trees and make her maps. In return, come dawn, she must wake Taissa. It is of the utmost importance.
She has to be awake before Van.
She's waiting now, sitting with her back to the wall. Van is curled in on herself in their shared bedroll, arms up as if to protect her face. Taissa's relieved when she sleeps like this. It's harder to see the worst of it, when Van conceals herself this way.
Harder to see what she knows is waiting for her.
The others have no idea, and it's critical they are kept in the dark. Taissa can't let herself think what they'd do, if they knew. If they had any idea what Van is. What Van would be, if Taissa weren't here, ready to stall her.
She looks toward the window. The sky is pink, birds beginning to sing. In the nest of blankets, Van twitches. A low rumble begins in her chest, the warning signal of a predator waking to find itself in imminent danger. Taissa grits her teeth.
Outside, the birds trill. The sun is almost high enough now. She can see it not in the sky, but in the flicker-tremble of Van's muscles. The way her head is starting to revolve against her pillow, her growls growing louder. Her skin, out of sight, is moon-pale; her wolf-wrought injuries, invisible behind the protective shield of her arms, glow.
Almost. Almost time. Taissa pushes off the wall, every muscle taut. She hasn't failed yet. This morning won't be the first.
Now. Van jolts upright, a snarl on her lips. Her eyes are blank, cold, gray fog obstructing her irises. Her jaw springs open, the teeth inside long and deadly-sharp. She's fast. So fucking fast.
Taissa is faster.
She catches Van around the waist, pushing her back into the blankets with a muted thud. Van thrashes, a keening sound peeling from her lips. In it, Taissa hears the tearing of flesh, the pulping of wolf skull, the punch of needle and thread. In it, Taissa hears Van's death, her death, her death and the hard-won rebirth she just barely manages to hang onto each day.
She pulls Van's face to her own, pressing her lips to the flayed places along her forehead and cheek. Van goes limp beneath her, panting, allowing Taissa to lay the last brick for the day. The most important one.
She kisses Van's lips--cold, as they are every morning, her body uncertain of its place in time and space. Van, every morning, is dead, though her body does not understand. Every morning, she is dead, and there is something else writhing beneath her skin. Something else, driven with the waking of the sun to leap up and pilot her bones.
Something else, which Taissa does not understand, but which she fears with everything she is. Which only she can hold at bay, through love or magic or simple stupid determination.
It's there, waiting, and--in a perverse fairytale reflection--it's only this kiss coaxing it back into slumber until sunrise comes around again.
"Tai?" Van murmurs, groggy. It's her voice now, no hint of a growl. Taissa sags with relief, feeling strung-out.
"Morning. Sleep okay?"
"Had that dream again. It's so weird," yawns Van, nuzzling into Taissa with no hesitation. Already, she's growing warmer. Her skin is developing its usual rosy shade. Her wounds are just scabbed-over slashes across her face, no longer glaring fire-bright.
Taissa exhales with relief. Another day won. Another day of Van looking, acting, feeling perfectly normal. Another day, unexplainable and vital to everyone's sanity.
She doesn't like to think what would happen, if the thing inside Van got away. If it made it down the stairs. If it found the others.
It doesn't bear thinking about. Not today. Van's herself again.
"It was just a dream," Taissa tells her. "I'm sure it'll go away on its own."
#fanfiction#ficlet#yellowjackets#yj fic#taivan#ship snippets#💚#hi hello i'm obsessed with this#i hope it's what you were hoping for because ummm#came back wrong van has a special place in my heart#and i LOVE the idea of tai-the-unbeliever having to keep a ritual to keep van and everyone else safe
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i want to draw my blorbos together but im realizing. that nameless bard very much might not like thistle. on account of kinda. being a tyrant about how he went about the whole dungeon thing. moon’s cool though
#nb looking at thistle after he dumps his life story: okay. let’s talk about healthy coping mechanisms#bc holy shit :)#LIKE OKAY OBVIOUSLY thistle was fucking going through it#dude was stressed to hell and back trying to keep everyone safe#but his safe was Not the same as everyone’s else’s safe#you can’t keep someone trapped in one place and hope they stay there liking it#love him dearly but . shakes him by the shoulders#lantern says stuff
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Happy New Year!
#i made the adult decision to turn down the offers to go places and do things tonight#because I am fucking exhausted#so I stayed at home#cooked some spicy noodles#and drank a couple of gin and tonics#hopefully next year is better for everyone#my face#alcohol#I need a ceasefire in Gaza#I need fewer wars#i need fewer deaths#I need less cancer#and I need more joy for everyone#got that universe?#don't make me come up there#It's nearly midnight and I am going to bed#hope everyone else has a safe night
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happy pride 🏳️🌈
#far cry#far cry 5#fc5#hope county#virtual photography#a lot has happened in the past year wrt to lgbtq+ rights and it's been ... rough to say the least#so i feel a little more somber and a little more angry this time around than i did last year#anyway this is a queer friendly place so if that bothers you please leave#if you're a terf a transphobe a homophobe : please leave#i'm queer and i don't want you here and if i see you interacting with my blog or my posts i will block you#to everyone else happy pride#i hope you're keeping safe and healthy and doing okay#i love you all#🖤🖤🖤#guitar posting#jg
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its 4 am and well, im not doomscrolling but i have thoughts lol... i should turn them off and go back to sleep
#minhmy rambles#for the record right now im completely fine like. im not gonna let this stupid orange stop me#thankfully im relatively safe in my state and im so so glad for it but y'know. you never know#but yesterday i was busy w work and also loads of other things like Being Sick so didn't have the mental fortitude to keep up w everything#and i think its helped me like. im not gonna dwell on it. i shouldn't. yeah things Suck but id rather live my life day by day and Not/#self-destruct over it. and this is just me as well. ik everyone else is freaking out and you all have a right to. i just have to keep going#like its not me trying to be callous or y'know high and mighty for feeling better over it than others i don't wanna come off like that but.#i just feel safe here in hawaii things obvs still suck like i said and things can get worse esp for us but i feel safe here ill be ok#and i worry for my friends and everyone whose lives are impacted way more strongly than me and have a lot to worry about#like it could just be me being ignorant. or whatever. but i know everything is bad i just can't let it affect me rn#me rambling as if someones gonna read this and judge me so harshly...!!!#but its just the truth. im sad for everyone but i can keep going and so should you. i have so much to live for and if the only reason you/#have now is spite then you should do it. hey maybe someone will successfully kill the guy. instead of missing. but once these 4 years/#of hell are over we won't have him again. it might be even worse then#like in terms of presidential canididates. i know this. but its okay itll be okay#and i cant ask that ppl will adopt the same attitude as me lol i know im an outlier for sure but. its gonna be okay regardless#ill be okay despite being afab poc and Also autistic (ig i shouldn't look to getting a diagnosis yet which sucks..) but i'll Be Okay#and i hope everyone else will be too; in time.
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i smacked my stomach in frustration & it reverberated so loud my cats fucking SC ATT E R ED ,,,,,,,,,,,,, i am but a gong. , ,,
#but guess whos finally making their pizza anyways when they should b in a hole decaying#i can barely even remember the past few days#only that they were failures#and im a failure && i am so Dirty#my acid reflux is going crazy i know it must have been bad o(-<#i still feel so disconnected#i think im a bit better#it doesnt feel like someone elses ghost snuck in nd is trying 2 pilot me but didnt know what to do with what they found anymore#i wish going out didnt do that to me#it comes in it sets me up but then i ruin it all . but then it ruins all of what i have back because it doesnt belong here. it doesnt work.#it doesnt fit. and now#im just stuck scared#alone#trying to get back to who i am#i feel so wrong#i am so Wrong#gonna watch jerma and hope it eases me back in but#its like my body thinks it can take from everything and make me fit but it cant its so distorted nd im always left back where we started#it takes from everything i hate#everyone i hate#just to seem like a person#and it makes me harm everything i have#and it feels so wrong the entire time but it has me#and i cant get free and i hate i . its like its supposed to be safe but it isnt#i forgot what it feels like i forgot it existed#it used to happen all the time when i was younger like 13-14 when things got real bad but it feels like the memories exist in a diff world#im deleting spotify again i forgot how music harms me HBJA.. i think it was the mix of going out n then losing myself listening to music#for Hours. it got its claws in me and then boiled me out and dug Deeper & deeper#i remember talking to my therapist about it once but she didnt understand. its like . an overwhelming sense of false clarity#how do i live when this is what happens when i try . do i get a chance to get out . is it just bc im alone. is it just im the same then&now
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finally have service back by the grace of chuck 🙂↕️
#/ tbd.#/ mobile.#/ our town is going to be fixing the damages of this storm for years to come#/ thank you to everyone who’s messaged to check in on me and I’m sorry I wasn’t able to reply right away#/ we were essentially blacked out from communications until about two minutes ago#/ and I hope everyone else who’s endured the storm is safe and healthy
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