#hoping I'll get over this stupid mental block and actually post finished stuff

[starswornoaths]

Steer

Serella wants to set sail. Her father doesn't have it in his heart to keep her focus ashore forever.

word count: 1,002

To hear her father tell it, Serella was born a Captain.

When her Da scooped her off the ground and set her in front of the wheel, her hands sought spokes they couldn’t yet wrap around like it was second nature. Her little arms made proper handling impossible but that was fine; their little mockup was attached to the playground built outside the Carpenter’s Guild, and wasn’t going anywhere anyroad. 

“Captain! What course are we to set?” her Da asked her.

“We sail for…adventure!” she decreed, pointing ahead of them.

“Course has been set! For adventure!” he declared, matching her enthusiasm and pointing in the same direction.

Even with no resistance but the simple cogwork of the wheel, it was hard for a child of three summers to twist and turn but that did not deter Serella, face scrunched in consternation and focused on imaginary waters with her whole being.

In her mind’s eye, the tide whorled around their grand galley, lapping at sides port and starboard alike. Storms blew all around, ignorant of the sun warming their backs in truth.

When she tried to turn the wheel to fight a particularly strong wave to the port side, Serella struggled against the wood, hearing the sanded off wooden gears protest the movement. “Hard to steer,” she huffed.

“The waters are choppy this night,” her Da said sagely when he saw her struggle. 

If she could stretch her arms out to even the next spokes over she might have enough leverage, but she’s so small… 

Despite her best efforts to cling to the imaginary and continue with play, all her dreams of sailing involved a boat her size, something she could reach and use and lead and, and, and—

“No, hard to steer.” she huffed again, letting go of the spokes and crossing her arms.

Frustration welled up in her and quickly overflowed her small frame, heating her face and threatening her eyes with the sting of tears. Embarrassed, she hid her face in her hands.

“Hey now, Little Acorn, what’s the long face for?” her Da said, immediately dropping their play titles.

How could she start to explain what was hurting her heart? Why did she not understand what she was feeling? Frustration mounted ever higher, and tears ran down her face.

“I’m too little!” she cried.

Serella’s had never known her Da to be a man possessed of alacrity—an injury from before she was born had given him a cane and a limp that she had always seen him with, and it took him a few moments to carefully ease himself down to her level.

“You’re a growing little acorn, love,” he reminded her, and when she opened her arms asking for comfort he wasted no time in scooping her into a big hug. “Every tree started out just like you, remember?”

Through sniffles and uncaring of the snot she wiped on his shirt, Serella nodded.

“You’re only little for a little while, you know,” he said, his voice growing strangely thick as she tried to get her tears to stop. “And ‘afore you know it, you’ll be taller than me!”

“Taller than you?!” she squeaked, pulling back enough to look up at him incredulously.

“Taller than me!” he confirmed with an affectionate rub of their noses together that never failed to send her into a fit of giggles. “But it takes time—plenty of time for you to learn how to be taller. Can’t have you wobbling around like you’ve got stilts for legs, now can we?”

“But I can’t steer now,” she whined.

“Mayhap you can’t steer that way, but there’s plenty of ways to steer all sorts of things—here, I’ll show you. It’s getting late anyroad, and your Ma will send a search party if we’re gone too long, eh?”

With a conspiratorial wink that got his daughter to giggle again and follow him back to their chocobo, content and grazing not far from the Carpenter’s Guild fence.

A pirate is always carries a bit of the sea with them, so it was only natural that her Da hoist her and himself onto the back of their chocobo.

Once they were situated in the saddle, her Da pointed toward the leather reigns and said, “See? Riders use this to steer their chocobo—and that’s how you’re going to get us home in time for supper.”

“Me?!” Serella squeaked. 

“That’s right! You’re a natural at steering, Ellie—you just have to practice. Like so,” he said as he began to reach for the reigns.

It took little and less encouragement and instruction before she had her hands where they needed to be.

“Good. Now, there’s more ways to guide a steed than even this—like I told you, lots of ways to steer. Watch, I’ll have her start moving for you.”

With a click of his tongue and nudge of his boot, Addie began to dutifully meander out of Gridania proper and back onto the Shroud. The sway of the bird’s massive body almost felt like what Serella imagined a ship felt like, all that rocking back and forth like her Da would tell her.

Under her Da’s tutelage, she carefully led Addie until they were out of the gate and down the walking path.

The reigns felt vastly different from the ship wheel and yet, it felt like she was beginning to understand how this was also meant to steer—the pull of the leather on either side to turn, both to stop, and a nudge to go faster. Sails and rudders, wheels and anchors. Anything could be a ship if she wanted to guide it, anything could steer that ship if she could make it listen to her.

When they were far enough away from civilization, her Da leaned down from behind her and whispered, “you know, the winds are fair this eve, Captain. What say you we open the sails and ride the wind home?”

Years later, Serella would remember looking up into his eyes in that moment, twinkling like stars guiding their ship home.