#hope to have a pt 2 out for november!

[gojotojis]

Butterfly pt.2

part one

this story will contain mentions of sexual assault, part one contains sexual assault please do not read if this will trigger you.

summary: gojo helps you heal from a traumatic sexual experience by showing you what consensual sex is like and just how good it can make you feel.

pairing: gojo satoru x fem reader

content MDNI: sexual assault mention, consensual sex, vaginal sex, oral (f receiving), praise kink, squirting, fingering, friends to loversish, healing, trauma, soft gojo, girl obsessed gojo, yearning, angst, protected sex

I am in no way romanticizing or gloryfing sexual assault, this is how I’m choosing to cope with my trauma. Any and all hate will be blcoked.

November

Gojo immediately regrets asking, he goes to wipe your tears but stops himself. The atmosphere has shifted, and he doesn’t know what to do or say. You have this strong urge to hug him and hope he hugs back, making you feel safe but that voice reminds you how horrid men can be.

“No,” you answer his question and you feel like heaving up the little bits of pizza you ate. You feel dirty and disgusting, wanting to crawl out of your own skin.

Before you can think, you’re climbing into his lap. You wrap your arms around him and rest your head against his chest, he’s stiff, completely taken by surprise as your inner conscience screams at you to get off him, to not let him touch you.

You should tense when his fingers trail up your spine, rubbing gently as his other hand holds the back of your head. It feels nice, to be held and treated so softly.

“You can talk to me, you can trust me,” he says, the urge to tell someone the truth I so strong but you’re scared he’ll think of you as disgusting or blame you for what happened.

His fingers thread through your hair until he’s massaging your scalp, and you sigh at the feeling. You’ve been craving physical touch for so long but it’s terrified you until now, until him.

You slowly look up at him, eyes locking with his through his glasses. You’re not sure if it’s depravation or desperation that makes you kiss his lips but you do.

Rejection hits you when he pulls you off of him, gently setting you beside him.

“I’m sorry,” you blurt out, looking at your lap. The only friendship you have, potentially ruined.

“It’s okay, I should probably go,” he says and you nod, following him to the door.

You cry yourself to sleep that night.

End of November

It’s been almost four weeks, since you’ve heard from him. He doesn’t text you, he doesn’t ask for a stupid little song even though you’ve made a list of them for everyday he’s missed.

You feel horribly sad, eyes lingering on the bottle of vodka sitting in front of you.

It also been four weeks since you’ve had a drink or touched drugs. A toxic cycle you’re trying to break, you’re not addicted to it. You like the numbness it brings, like an outlet or a cure to some sick disease festering inside of you.

Salem meows, making you look away. You crouch down and lift him up into your arms. He nuzzles against you, as you lay down on the couch.

You feel sick, utterly sick at how you managed to ruin the one good thing in your life. Why would he want to kiss you, someone so tainted and broken, someone so hideous.

The urge to break your lease and move away seems like the only reasonable option, even though deep down you know it’s insane.

How could you be so stupid? Why do you have to ruin everything?

Beginning of December Gojos Birthday.

The cold air nips at your skin, but you enjoy the walk home from work. Her Way by PartyNextDoor fills your ears, AirPods hidden under your black earmuffs.

You hiss as your ungloved hand reaches the freezing metal handle of the door to your building. You yank it open and rush inside, shivering.

Mrs. Tomioka stands by the mailboxes and smiles at you. You pause your music as her lips part.

“Oh dear, you need to layer up more,” she says staring at you dressed in nothing but leggings, a hoodie and fur boots. You simply nod, turning to walk away.

“How’s the cat?” she asks and your brows furrow.

“What?” You ask, she lives two floors above you and you’ve never mentioned Salem to her.

“The one your neighbor bought off me?” She asks.

“Gojo?”you ask and she nods.

“The little black cat he insisted I give to him. Someone had already bought him so he doubled it,” she says and your heart feels strange in your chest.

“You must have the wrong person, he said he found the kitten” you say and she shakes her head.

“No honey, it was him. The one with the blindfold, he said there was a girl in desperate need of a friend,” she says and you feel dizzy. You walk away from her, climbing up the stairs trying to process her words.

You find yourself walking to his door, hands gently knocking.

You feel a sense of euphoria when the door opens only it’s not Gojo. The woman you always see with him opens the door and stares at you. Your expression turns solem as she looks at you curiously.

“Is Gojo here?” You ask and she nods.

“He’s in the shower,” she says, your eyes catch the balloons with Happy Birthday written across them.

“It’s his birthday?” You ask and she nods.

“Thank you,” you say, walking toward your door and she closes his.

You pull out your phone and text him ‘Happy Birthday!’.

He doesn’t respond.

Mid December

The rooms dark as you curl into a ball, Salem nestled against your chest. Your anxiety’s so bad, you just want it to go away. Salems purring as your fingers run along his spine, grounding you. He’s the only thing keeping you afloat.

A light knock at your door has you blinking, you want to yell at them to go away but you’re drained of all energy.

The knocking continues, making Salem jump down from the bed. Annoyance fills you as you follow the kitten toward the front door, lifting him into your arms.

You don’t bother checking the peephole as you open it, so many feelings hit you as you stare at the man in front of you. Sadness, anger, confusion, yearning, it all hits you.

“Hi,” he says and your eyes sting. Salem fights to jump into his arms, so enthralled by the tall man.

You close the door and he doesn’t stop you.

“I just want to talk,” he says through the door as you set the cat down.

“I can explain,” he says but you don’t want to hear it. He’s like every man, they make you feel good until they don’t anymore.

He had promised not to hurt you and he lied, the organ beating in your chest hurts so badly because of him.

“Please go,” you whisper weakly, accepting that it’s over and he does.

December 22nd

Four messages hit your phone, Happy Birthday texts from your siblings, mom and grandma. You simply thank them with a heart emoji. You despise your birthday, another reminder of everything you’ve failed to accomplish in the previous year and how alone you are.

A knock at the door has you sighing, expecting the hideous daisies your grandma always sends you. You’re grateful and don’t have the heart to tell her how much you hate them.

The door swings open and you audibly gasp. Gojo stands there with his blindfold off and piercing blue irises stare into the depths of your soul. He’s beautiful, more so than you had conjured in your head.

“X & Y” he says and your head tilts, brows furrowing.

“What?” You ask.

“X & Y by Coldplay, that’s our song” he says, your chest tightens, you’ve heard it a million times.

I dive in at the deep end

You become my best friend

I want to love you but I don't know if I can

I know something is broken

And I'm trying to fix it

Trying to repair it

Any way I can

“It’s just a song,” you say and he shakes his head.

“Nothings just a song to you, it’s everything, it’s us” he says absolutely serious, blue eyes pinning yours.

“You kissed me and I couldn’t think, you’ve slowly become my bestfriend and that scared me. I had a bestfriend once, and he died… I thought I’d be sparing you from the horror that is my life because I don’t want to lose another friend, not you. But I saw you, hidden behind the music, spiraling and so scared. I saw you and never in my life have I wanted anything more,” he says, you stand there frozen trying to make sense of his words.

“You ignored me, made me feel unwanted, ashamed and so sad,”you whisper, eyes watering. His hand reaches out to caress your cheek against his palm.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, I’ve never done this. And I know you’re too good for me, a better person than I’ll ever deserve but I’m just a guy desperately wanting a girl, the girl, to talk to him again” he says . His words are so foreign to your ears, so full of adoration, need and genuinuity.

“You missed the songs,” you say as he steps closer.

“I’m sorry” he breathes looking down at you.

“You didn’t answer my texts” you whisper, as he enters the apartment.

“Hardest thing I ever did”.

“You lied to me about Salem,” you say and he shuts the door, your hearts beating so fast, too fast that you fear it’ll give out.

“You needed him,” he whispers, hands cupping your face and he kisses you.

This kiss sends shocks throughout your body, from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. The hairs on your arms stand up and your pupils dilate. His tongue prods against your lips and you open them, feeling his mouth hungrily lap at yours.

Your nails dig into the muscles of his arms, nipples hardening and core aching. Nothing but your mingled breaths, fill the apartment.

His hands slide down to your ass and you tense. You still against him and he stops, his forehead pressed against yours. His hands pin to your waist.

“I won’t hurt you, not ever,” he says and you nod, tears sliding down your cheeks. You want this to be real, to believe him.

“Pick a word. Any word, you use it and this all stops,” he says.

“Butterfly” you whisper, standing on the tips of your toes to kiss him. It’s sweet and gentle, this is Gojo, he won’t hurt you.

He pulls you down to the couch with him, straddling his waist. Nerves prickle at you, his fingers skimming the naked skin of your arms. You can feel the bulge underneath you and your eyes close.

“You’re safe,” he whispers in your ear, pressing a kiss to your temple.

“I’ll never let anything bad happen to you,” he says, lips brushing your cheek. The safety net he’s created around you, creates warmth in your belly.

His lips brush against your neck, soft wet kisses trailing along the smooth column. You moan as he sucks at the skin, fingers gripping the wrist that hold your waist.

“Do you want me touch you?” he asks and you nod against him, you haven’t felt this kind of desire in your life, it outweighs your fear. You trust him.

“Show me where”he says and you redden, unsure of what he means. Your hand grabs his and he looks at you.

“Here” you say shyly, pressing his hand against your core. His hand moves against you, palm digging into your cloth covered pussy but the pressure feels so good. You bite your lip, face scrunching and it makes him painfully harder. He stops and you worry, but he fingers graze the waist band of your shorts.

“Is it okay if we take these off?” He asks and you nod, slowly standing up so he can slide them down you. You look down, nervous. The words fat, ugly, slut and whore resonate and your chest constricts. He kneels down infront of you, fingers grazing the hem of your tank top. He lifts it off and tosses it, leaving you in nothing but your panties. You fight the urge to cover yourself and hide.

“So beautiful,” he whispers looking up at you, and you sigh when his lips meet your belly. He peppers the flesh with kisses, every touch going to your core.

He gently moves you so you can sit back on the couch. Your chest heaves watching him kneeling before you. His fingers grip the edge of your panties, and you watch him slide them down. Your legs close and his large hands press against your thighs.

“Do you trust me?” He asks and you nod.

His eyes don’t leave yours as his hands pry you open. He looks at your pussy with lust and awe, fingers grazing through your folds and you buck against them.

His thumb grazes your clit and you cry, eyes locked on his.

“I’m gonna make you feel good, okay?” He asks and you nod, watching his thumb circle your clit and feel a long and thick finger, push inside of you. Your hands clutch at the couch cushions, desperate to claw at the flesh of his arms.

“Relax, gonna stretch you out” he whispers and you nod, trying your best to calm down despite the sensation inside of you. Your face morphs into discomfort when he adds a second finger, his movements slow down to let you adjust.

He leans down and presses a kiss to your clit for distraction and your eyes widen. Your fingers slide through his scalp and tug at the white silky strands when his tongue pokes your clit.

The feeling of his fingers become pleasurable and you grind against them, gasping when you feel his wet tongue drag across your pussy. It’s too much, you feel like you’re going to die.

His tongue flicks across your clit over and over until his mouth devours your pussy entirely, sucking it and lapping the juices that leak from you. You flush red as you grind against his face, chasing the end of what the knot in your stomach promises.

He groans against you and it vibrates your pussy making you cry out as you cum, his fingers speeding up their pace as he drags out your orgasm. Your legs shaking as your thighs try to close. He lazily licks at you, sending little aftershocks through you.

When he’s done, he presses several kisses to your cunt and then your inner thighs, to your belly and the valley between your breast until he’s kissing your lips. Everything about this is so erotic, you feel so high off of your release and how good he makes you feel.

He pulls back and his forehead presses against yours.

“Did you like it?” He asks and you nod, watching him grab your clothes. He chuckles as he slides your panties up and then your shorts. You raise your arms and he slides the tank top over you.

“Happy birthday” he whispers against your lips. You have no idea how he knows but you don’t care.

“Thank you,” you smile up at him.

“I have your gifts in my apartment,” he says making you feel tingly inside.

“You didn’t have to get me anything, “ you say, you feel horrible you didn’t get to see him on his birthday or even talk to him but that was his fault.

“I’ll be right back,” he says and walks out the front door. You rush to your room, and reach for the stupid thing you had made him. You feel doubt, he may hate it but it comes from your heart.

You sigh, looking at Salem curled into a ball on your bed and grab the cd. You close the door and see Gojo with several packages… you deflate. You’re actually the worst gift giver in the world.

“I know we didn’t get to see eachother for your birthday but I made you this which seems quite lame now. I know everything’s digital but I wanted you to have something physical,” you say handing him the blue wrapped gift.

He opens it and you swallow, as he stares at the cover. He laughs at the picture of Pearl with her pitchfork and turns it over to see the songs listed. His finger stills on track number seven.

“X & Y” he reads aloud and you nod.

“I told you we share the same brain” he says before kissing you, his arms circling your waist and lifting you off the ground. You smile against him.

You’re not use to this kind of affection, it feels overwhelming. It makes you want to just burst at the seams.

“I love it,” he says putting you down.

“Your turn,” he says gesturing toward the bigger box on the coffee table. You nervously touch the pink wrapping paper and rip it. You swallow roughly, staring at the white audio technica record player. You reach for the thinly stacked pile of gifts and open them revealing record after record of your favorite albums. Your throat feels raw, tears pricking your eyes and you look up at him.

Your arms wrap around him and squeeze him like if you let go he’ll be gone. Tears soak his shirt as his arms hug back, his lips press against the top of your head.

“Seemed like something you’d like” he said and you nodded. You wanted to collect vinyls but it’s such an expensive hobby, so you held off.

“Thank you, for everything”.

Beginning of January

Gojo: song ?

You: Coming Down, The Weeknd

Gojo: you’re freaky

You blush at the text.

You: aren’t you suppose to be working?

Gojo: I’d rather talk to you, let me see you

You hesitantly open your camera app, trying not to let the insecurities get to you as you snap a picture of you smiling and send it.

Gojo: so fucking pretty

Your insides stir at the compliment, you love the way he makes you feel. Fear tries to crawl its way up at the thought of this being taken away. It’s like you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop because how could someone so beautiful be into you?

Mid January

Gojo wants to take you on a date but he’s aware of your anxiety, the way you hide behind your music when in public to avoid social interactions.

You love it just being the two of you, no expectations no pressure, just the two of you in this little bubble.

“Gojo?” You ask watching him eat his General tso on the couch and you eat your bourbon chicken across from him.

“What was your bestfriends name?” You ask and he stills. You hope you’re not crossing a line but you want to know everything about him, the good and the bad.

“Suguru Geto,” he says, his voice cracks and you look down at your lap.

“How’d he die?…” you ask, the room is silent as he thinks of what to say.

“Car accident” he lies to you, one day he’ll tell you the truth but he doesn’t want you to look at him differently, not now and not ever.

“I’m sorry, if you ever want to talk about it I’m here,” you say with sincerity, hand reaching to touch his. His fingers lace with yours and he stares at you, blue orbs in awe.

“Can I ask you something?” He asks and you nod, dreading what it is.

“What happened to you?”he asks, your fingers tremble as you look down at your lap. Your lips move and you speak, your ears block out every word, every detail that leaves you as tears roll down your cheeks. You avoid his reaction, you can’t bare for him to look at you differently.

When it’s done, your chest hurts like it’s being crushed.

You feel yourself being lifted, his hands gripping the back of your thighs as they wrap around his waist. Your arms fall over his shoulders and your head in the crook of his neck. You don’t realize you’re shaking against him as he presses kisses to your face.

“You’re safe now,” he whispers, trying to not think of you so scared and vulnerable. How someone could hurt you and be so cruel to you.

He carries you to his room and you fall asleep against his chest, his fingers grazing your back as he promises nothing bad will ever happen to you again.

Beginning of February

Your fingers grip the recliner, absolutely scared. You’ve never felt this scared from a movie but god it’s fucking brutal and you love it.

Gojo laughs as you jump from the chair in shock, he’s never seen you this animated.

“Christ…” you breathe watching the possessed girl stab her brother.

“It’s just a movie, baby” Gojo whispers, grateful he rented the movie theatre out. Even though he loves your reactions, popcorn would’ve been thrown at you by now.

“My stomach hurts” you whine.

“That’s anxiety,” he chuckles squeezing your hand. The jump scares are too much and you bury your face in his side. Your hands covers your face, eyes peeking through your fingers. You’re definitely sleeping at his place tonight, there’s no way you’re gonna be home alone after this.

Once the movies over, your hand grips his for dear life trying to process what the fuck you just watched.

“I assume you didn’t like it” he says.

“I loved it!” You answer, surprising him. Evil dead rise now easily one of the best horror movies you’ve seen in a long time.

He laughs as he holds your joined hands up to his lips. You both walk through the mall, stopping when Gojo sighs and you spot three teenagers staring at you with wide eyes and dropped jaws.

“Sensei!” A pink haired boy shouts running up to you.

“You have a girlfriend?” The spiky haired boy with him asks, looking to Gojo.

“She’s too pretty to be his girlfriend” the girl shakes her head.

“What are you three doing here?” He asks them.

“Following you,” the pink haired boy says like it’s the most normal answer.

“Yuji said you’ve been acting weird, so we decided to see for ourselves. Hi, I’m Nobara Kugisaki!” The girl says holding her hand out to you and you shake it.

“That’s Yuji, and that’s Megumi,” she says pointing to the boys beside her. Yuji smiles but Megumi simply looks bored. You instantly recognize them as Gojo’s students he had told you about.

“We were going to eat, did you want to join us?” You ask.

“No!” Gojo says.

“Yes!” Nobara and Yuji beam.

The five of you fall in step to the little pizza place inside the mall. Yuji and Nobara ask you a million questions while Gojo scowls beside Megumi.

You all find a table and order a half and half cheese and pepperoni pizza and then a Hawaiian pizza.

“He got you a cat?!” Nobara asks and you nod, pulling your phone out to show her pictures of Salem. She gushes, and smiles at Gojo.

“I wish someone would get me a cat?” She sighs taking a bite of her cheese pizza.

“The last thing you need is a cat” Gojo says and Megumis lips tug upward.

“How long have you guys been dating?” Yuji asks and your cheeks redden.

“Is this an interrogation?” Gojo asks and you chuckle, he seems annoyed by them but you can tell he loves them.

Gojo’s grateful when it’s over and you two are in his apartment after grabbing Salem from yours. Salem runs rampant around Gojo’s place.

“I love them” you say referring to his students and he smiles, pecking your lips.

“They’re a handful but they’re good kids, really good kids”.

March

You tense into Gojo’s side, his fingers gently grazing up and down your arm. It’s innocent but you feel it all around you. He hasn’t initiated anything since your birthday and you kind of wish he would.

The idea of sex doesn’t seem so scary since he made it enjoyable for you. He stares at the movie on the screen as you think about his head between your legs, his tongue licking at you. Your fingers dig into your thigh, and it’s like you can feel his fingers inside of you. A fire starts in your belly and you look up at him, he can feel your eyes on him and his brows furrow.

“What’s wrong?” He asks.

“Can you touch me?” you ask.

“I am,” he says, fingers tapping against your arm and you turn red.

“Down there” you whisper and feel him pull away from you. You fear you’ve ruined this routine you’ve fallen into but feel him lifting you up. You laugh as he tosses you over his shoulder and walks you to his room.

Your hearts in your ears, unsure of what will happen but you need to feel his skin against yours.

He sets you on the bed and you stare up at him with eager eyes.

“Safe word?” He asks.

“Butterfly” you say.

“Good girl” he says, pressing a kiss to your lips.

“I’m gonna undress you now” he says and you nod, standing up so he can take your clothes off. The rooms dark but the moonlight gives enough lighting for him to see your body. His hands glide up your sides, squeezing your hips.

Your fingers reach for the hem of his shirt, tugging on it to let him know you want it off. You desperately want to see him. He smiles and lifts it up and over his head. Your stomach clenches at the sight of his muscled body and abs but the trail of white hair leading down into his pants makes your toes curl into the carpet.

“Can I touch you?” You ask and his hand grabs yours, pressing it against his stomach. Your fingers burn under the heat of his skin, sliding over the toned ridges of his body. He’s so warm you want to feel him against you.

“You’re so pretty”you tell him and he kisses you, his tongue finding home in your mouth, devouring you entirely. You moan against him, feel his fingers touch your clit. He bites your lips, rubbing against the bud and your face scrunches. A gasp escapes you when you feel his finger enter you, gently pushing you down onto the bed.

His finger fucks into you at a gentle yet deep pace, he wants you to enjoy this despite how badly he wants to fuck you into the mattress. His thumb works circles into your clit and your hips push forward, taking him deeper in you.

He adds a second finger and you cry, his pace slightly increasing but the fullness has you gripping the comforter as you writhe against him.

“Cum baby, you can do it” he encourages and you do when his fingers push against this one spot that has your eyes rolling back. You twitch against him he withdraws his fingers, your nipples become painfully hard as he takes them in his mouth.

“The sweetest girl” he says licking at them. He grabs your clothes and you stop him, kneeling up on the bed.

“I want more” you say nervously.

“Are you sure?” He asks and you nod, your trembling fingers reach for his belt, eyes locked on his as you undo it. Your fingers drag his zipper down and stop, anxiety crawls up. You feel like you’re going to throw up, he sees it and presses his forehead against yours.

“It’s me and you, you control this. One word and it stops, I won’t do anything you don’t want to” he says and you nod, kissing his cheek.

“Can you do it?” You ask and he nods, pushing you back down. You stare at the ceiling, listening to him undress and your throat bobs.

It’s Gojo, he would never hurt you.

He grabs a condom from the bed side drawer and tears it open with his teeth. You don’t look down, scared you’ll want this to stop. He rolls the condom on and spreads your legs open. Your heart is beating inhumanly fast.

“Let me take care of you” he says before pressing kisses to your inner thighs, easing the tension out of you. You whimper when you feel him kiss your clit before he crawls on top of you.

“Ready?” He asks and you nod, feeling the head of his cock nudge at your opening. He feels too big as he tries to ease inside, and he see the panic in your eyes. He kisses your cheeks, hesitant to continue but you nod letting him know it’s okay. You want this, you want him.

The stretch is painful as he inches further inside of you, tears fall from your eyes and he feels so much guilt pressing kisses to every tear until he’s bottoming out inside of you.

You feel so full, but he doesn’t move, letting you adjust. His thumb circles your clit and you moan, squeezing around him. He groans at the feel of you choking the life out of his dick.

He hasn’t had sex in three years, something you don’t know and he doesn’t want to fuck this up by cumming before you do.

“You’re squeezing the life out of me baby, gotta relax” he says.

“I’m sorry” you squeak and he kisses you.

“It feels really good, but I gotta take care of you first” he assures you and you nod. Your mouth opens when he pulls out and slowly thrusts back in, he hits something deep inside of you and you tremble slightly.

He continues this slow thrusting, feeling your nails drag across his back. Milky white skin turning red.

He’s trying his best not to lose control but his thrusts become faster and you cry, feeling his hand press down on your stomach. He grunts with every thrust, sending heat to your pussy as you grip him like a vice.

“You’re doing so good baby,” he says knocking into your cervix and you both moan as his body crushes against yours, arms wrapping around you. He fucks into you over and over feeling you shake around him. You feel this strange sensation, like something is begging to release from you. He knocks into your cervix again and you sob, feeling yourself cum around him, liquid gushing out of you and you feel mortified.

“I’m sorry” you say as he stills inside of you, your thighs now wet.

“You squirted baby, it’s okay. Can you do it again?” He asks, you’re not sure but you nod and he moves inside of you, thrust harder and faster as he ruts into you, he grabs your hand and places it over your belly underneath his.

You feel the bulge he’s making inside of you, feel his cock moving inside of you under your skin and it sends you over the edge, cumming like your life depends on it and he grunts, fucking into you until he’s cumming too. He pulls out and rolls you over to lay on top of him.

“Are you okay?” He asks and you smile up at him.

“I think I love you” you say and he laughs.

“I know I love you,” he says back.

“You do?” You ask and he nods.

“I knew it the moment you saw Salem in my arms, like for the first time, there was something worth caring about,” he says, your fingers tracing circles into his chest.

“I think you’re healing me” you say.

“I think we’re healing eachother” he says pressing his lips to your temple.

“All I want is you. I want this everyday, forever, you, me and salem” he says, and you smile. You press a kiss to his sternum.

“You, me and Salem”.

I’ll do grammar check later, I was trying to get this out asap! thanks for reading! Also I didn’t mention it but it’s canon that gojo lied about needing eggs, milk and sugar just as an excuse to talk to her!

@kakashixhatakesxwhore @erensblackwife

[wh0re43van]

Boyfriend (Warren Lipka X Reader)

Summary: you reunite with an old friend while making a delivery for your shitty boyfriend

Word count: 4.1k

Warnings: smut, throat fucking, weed, cheating, not proof read

A/n: I have no idea how much weed costed in 2003 bc I was two years old. Also, I apologize if your name is Chelsea bc you will be slandered in this fic. Thank you for reading! <3

Pt 2 , Pt 3

I slam my boyfriends shitty car door, stepping out into the cold November rain, running towards the brick house, an 8th of weed shoved in my bra. I can’t believe my idiot boyfriend is too lazy to get out of his car to make his delivery. I’ve never even met this customer and his dumbass is having me waltz right up this random man’s house, while he’s parked a block away.

I pound on the wooden door before stepping back a bit. I shift back and forth on my feet as I rub my hands up and down on my arms trying to warm myself with the friction. After a couple of minutes, the door swings open, a man with unkempt brown hair and tired eyes steps out, looking a bit surprised. Those eyes. I know them. I cant put my finger on it, but I know him from somewhere.

“Uhm can I help you? Are you alright?” he asks, stepping out onto the porch closing the door behind him, looking me up and down, maybe trying to figure out why some strange girl is stood sopping wet on his doorstep, or maybe he recognizes me as well.

“Of course that dumbass didn’t tell you,” I sigh. “I’m delivering for Dakota,” I explain, pulling the plastic baggie out of my bra.

“Ah, okay,” he opens the door again, ignoring my hand offering the weed. “Why don’t you come in, get out of the cold?” he offers, holding the door open for me. I consider his offer; He seems kind, and he doesn’t appear to have the money on him anyway. I might as well wait inside while he retrieves it before I catch my death out here.

“Thank you,” I smile, stepping into the warm living room, part of me hoping that Dakota can see me going into the random man’s house. He leads me down to the basement, explaining that this is his bedroom.

“Make yourself at home,” he smiles, showing two familiar dimples on either cheek as he gestures to his couch. I smile back, happily taking a seat. He walks into the bathroom, coming back with a towel in his hand.

“Did you go to Tates Creek Highschool by chance?” he asks, offering me the grey bath towel.

“I did,” I smile. “Only for freshman year though, my family moved the next county over after that,” I explain. That must be where I know him from.

“Y/n, I thought that was you,” he smiles taking a seat next to me.

“Yeah,” I smile back. “You look familiar, but I’m sorry I can’t remember your name,” I blush, a bit embarrassed that I don’t remember him.

“Ouch,” He chuckles. “I thought getting detention together for stealing the teachers’ cigarettes would have been a bit more memorable,” he says, leaning back on the couch. Then it dawns on me.

“Warren?” I ask, shocked. “Little Warren Lipka?” I turn on the couch to face him, getting a better look- the best look I can get in the dim yellow lighting. I don’t believe it! He laughs at my reaction.

“I guess if you remember me as little Warren, I can see why you didn’t recognize me,” he says, reaching for his grinder and papers laying on the coffee table. “You got that 8th, beautiful?” he asks casually. I blush at the comment, pulling the weed out of my bra once again. I hand him the warm baggie.

“That’ll be 7 bucks, sir,” I grin. All the memories come flooding back to me when our hands touch as we exchange the substance for the cash. All the classes we skipped together, all the many hours in detention we spent alongside each other, the cigarettes that we would smoke under the bleachers. He was shorter than me then, he always had his hair buzzed and wore oversized clothes to hide his small frame. I guess he was a late bloomer, because the only remnants of that little boy are the deep brown eyes and dimples displayed like artwork on the handsome grown man in front of me.

“You look really good,” he breaks me out of my thoughts, sparking the joint he’s just rolled.

“Thank you,” I smile. He passes me the paper. I take a hit. “You look good yourself,” I exhale through my nose, handing the joint back to warren.

“So you’re a friend of Dakotas?” He asks, after sucking in a breath of smoke as he stretches his arm over the back of the couch and behind my shoulders.

“His girlfriend, actually,” My response catches him off guard, making him choke on the smoke.

“Holy shit,” he laughs in between coughs. “How the hell did that goon bag you?” he asks, flabbergasted. I can’t help but giggle, taking another drag off the joint.

“Sometimes I wonder the same thing,” I answer honestly. Dakota isn’t exactly the best boyfriend in the world. We’ve been dating almost two years and I’ve caught him with other girls multiple times. He doesn’t respect my boundaries or my aspirations, yet somehow, he always convinces me to stay. I guess when you’re as attractive as he is and as insecure as I am, it isn’t hard for him to convince me that he’s the best I’ll ever have.

“So what’s wrong with Dakota? Why couldn’t he make the delivery himself?” Warren asks, looking down at the joint between his lips as it glows crimson. “Not that I’m complaining,” he clarifies.

“He said he was tired and didn’t want to get his shoes wet,” I laugh, feeling the THC start to take effect. “Can you believe that?” I ask, laying a hand on warrens thigh in my fit of giggles. “He’s just sitting in his shit box a block away,” I say, feeling my eyelids begin to get heavy. Warren raises his eyebrows, looking at me with glossy eyes.

“Wow,” he scoffs. “I actually don’t believe that. I couldn’t imagine having your girl make deliveries for you. Thats some serious pussy shit,” he rolls his eyes, holding the joint up to my mouth. I take a hit from the hot paper between his fingers. I look down at the spliff, then back at him to find his eyes already fixed on me. “If I was your boyfriend, I wouldn’t let you make deliveries for me,” he says in a much quieter tone, the moment is almost intimate as I blow the smoke into his face that’s closer to mine than I realized, but I can’t bring myself to back away. “And I sure as hell wouldn’t want you smoking with me,” he adds, bringing the joint to his lips to take the final hit.

“Why’s that?” I ask in a whisper with butterflies in my stomach, breathing in the smoke that’s slowly rolling off his lips.

“Because it gives me the opportunity to do something I’ve wanted to do since freshman year,” he matches my tone, glancing at my lips, bringing his finger and thumb around my chin, tilting my head up towards him. My heart begins to race at his proximity, I know I should pull away from him, but I can’t. I don’t want to. Just as his lips barely brush against mine, my Nokia rings out, sounding like an alarm, making me jump in surprise, scrabbling to find the small cellphone on the couch.

“Hey babe,” Warren answers the phone, winking at me. My stomach drops. Fuck. I reach for the phone, but warren stands up. “Nah man she’s good she’s right here. I just gave her the mon- hey. Hey!” I hear warren begin to shout. I cease my struggle to grab the phone. “Is there a fucking problem man?” Warren seethes into the phone. I hear my boyfriend’s muffled speech. “Yeah, I didn’t fuckin think so,” he hangs up the phone, handing the small plastic brick to me.

“You look pretty stoned,” he says picking up a coat off the couch, wrapping it around my shoulders. “Let me walk you out. You remember where his car is?” he asks, putting his hand on the small of my back, ushering me to the steps. I nod my head yes, staring at him with wide eyes trying to process what just happened.

“Lead the way then, beautiful,” he grins, and just like that, the butterflies are back. I don’t dare respond, not knowing what will come out of my mouth.

The walk to Dakota’s car is silent but comfortable, still pretty baked, I feel the rain coming down in sheets. vibrating calmly in my bones. I stare up at the orange glow of the streetlights in the night sky in awe. Everything looks so beautiful when you’re high.

“Here he is,” Warren says approaching the small rust bucket of a car that my boyfriend drives. He opens the passenger door for me. After I’m seated, he leans in to look at Dakota. “Don’t have your girl make trips for you anymore, man. What the fuck is wrong with you?” he says calmly but it comes across like a threat, before tossing a couple folded bills at Dakota and closing the door. I’m glad he remembered the money. Dakota would have killed me if I had left it down there.

 My boyfriend is quiet. Much more quiet than he normally is when someone threatens his masculinity. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he’s scarred of Warren.

As Dakota pulls off, his Insane Clown Posse CD playing quietly, I look out the side mirror to see warren standing with his hands in his pockets, getting soaked in the rain in nothing other than his t-shirt and jeans, watching me ride away. As Dakota begins to bitch and complain my ear, all I can think about is when ill see Warren again, then I remember; I have his coat. It would be rude of me to keep it. I’ll just have to return it to him.

•

•

It’s been a week since my interaction with Warren, and I can’t stop thinking about him.

‘Is it so wrong that I want to catch up with an old friend?’ I ask myself. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with visiting a friend, the issue lies in the fact that the thoughts I’m having of him aren’t exactly platonic.

‘I’ll just drop his coat off, thanking him for the kind gesture and be on my way.’ I tell myself as I climb into my car. ‘Okay, maybe I could make some small talk with him, that’s innocent enough. Yeah, ill ask him about his job, if he’s going to school now, stuff like that’ I manage to convince myself that this will be a short, polite visit with an old friend, but a part of me must know the truth because I tell Dakota that I’m going out with my mother for lunch.

I park my vehicle on a side street near the Lipka house, just in case Dakota drives down here for whatever reason. I grab Warrens coat and walk up to the porch.

‘Maybe he’s not home and I’ll just hand it to his parents,’ I think as I knock on the door. The thought disappoints me, but maybe it’s for the b-

“Y/n!” Warren exclaims as the door swings open. “What a pleasant surprise,” he crunches on a Cheeto, crinkling the bag as he folds it shut.

“Hey Warren,” I smile at the man standing in front of me while he licks the Cheeto dust off his fingers.

“Come in, its freezing,” he steps aside so I can enter. I frown a bit.

“Well, actually I’m just here to return your coat,” I hold out the slick material.

“How kind,” he flashes his dimples. “Are you in a rush?” He asks as he retrieves his jacket.

“Well, no…” I trail off, trying to think of an excuse, but its hard to excuse yourself from something you want more than anything else.

“Then come inside real quick, darling, just to warm up,” he winks at me and I cant help but giggle. I surrender, stepping into his warm home once again,and following him down to his room.

I sit down on his couch as Invader Zim plays on his box tv.

“This may be a bold assumption,” Warren starts as he sits down on the cushion next to me. “But I think you may have come back for something more than the raincoat,” he suggests, looking into my eyes.

“Warren-“ I begin, but I don’t know what to say. He’s right. I want to desperately finish what we almost started last week. Just the faint brushing of his lips against mine has made me feel something I’ve never experienced before. I need to feel him-

“Free weed, right?” He grins picking up the rolling tray.

Oh.

 I can’t help but blush. I thought for a moment that Warren had already forgotten about our last encounter, but the wink he sends my way suggests that he meant exactly what I thought he meant.

“It’s not often that I don’t have to match,” I admit, pulling my legs up to my chest.

“You mean with friends, right?” Warren asks before he licks the thin rolling paper, holding my gaze as his tongue slowly slides across the wrap.

“Uh,” my breath hitches in my throat. Damn he looks so good. I’ve never wanted to be a rolling paper so bad in my life. “No, I mean in general. Dakota says he’s, uhm, running a business. So I have to pay or match what I smoke every time we, uh, spark. Or else I’m stealing from him,” I mutter out. Warren smirks at the pink raising in my cheeks once again. He knows exactly what he’s doing. Thank God he can’t see the pool forming in my underwear.

“No offense y/n,” he sparks the joint, inhaling a hit of hot smoke. “But Dakotas pathetic,” he breaths out.

“None taken,” I laugh as I take the paper from his hand.

“I mean for more than just the way he treats you,” he explains as I pass the joint back to him. “I’ve known him for a while. We met through a mutual friend, a few years ago. Started smoking together, then started dealing together and breaking into the chain stores around here, ya know, the ones that just throw shit away while people are starving,” he begins to explain as he sinks into the couch, leaning his head back, blowing a cloud of smoke towards the drop ceiling tiles of his bedroom. I stare at him, taking another hit, hanging on to his every word. I could listen to his voice all day. “Soon he started shorting people on weed, over charging behind my back, he was jealous of how well I was doing, always trying to one up me, bragging about how he’s making more money than me, not caring how he achieved it. Then one night, he decided he was going to try and break into a store by himself, of course he chose the corner store down the street, the one owned by the little old lady,” he chuckles. “I beat the shit out of him as soon as I found out,” he takes a hit. “Pussy didn’t throw a single punch back. Just curled up on the ground. Worst part is; he didn’t even get anything. She chased him off with a broom,” he runs a hand through his long brown hair, finally looking at me as he hands me the spliff.

“Wow, I guess that’s why he seemed so scared the other day,” I giggle. I should feel bad, this guy just told me he beat my boyfriend up, but I almost want to thank him.

“That’s also why I get a discount,” he grins as smoke rolls out of his nostrils. “But for once,” he leans in closer to me. “I’m jealous of him,” I can feel his breath on my face. “Seeing you ride off in that car with him last week was painful to watch. You should have been right here with me,” he pushes a loose strand of hair out of my face, and I melt into his touch.

“Well,” I take in a shaky breath, unable to resist those coffee-colored eyes. “I’m here now, Warren.” And with that, the world ceases to spin as he crashes his lips into mine. I’m suddenly aware of my quick heartbeat, every ounce of blood flowing throw my veins, the electricity that shoots from Warrens hands into my body. The smell of smoke on his breath and the slightly stale air in the basement invades my senses. The kiss is desperate and hungry; something I haven’t felt in years. I moan into his mouth as he pulls me into his lap to straddle him.

“This is wrong, Warren,” I pull away reluctantly.

“No beautiful, it was wrong when he called me asking for Chelsea’s contact last month,” he pants. The mention of that whores name makes my blood boil. She’s his most recent side piece. “Had I known he was with you, I would have beat his ass again instead of sending it,” he says honestly, as his hand runs gently up my hip. My mind is made up in an instant. I take the joint out of his hand, inhaling one last hit before I set it in the ash tray. I slide down to the floor on my knees in between his legs before I take my sweater off, tossing it to the side.

“You’re right,” I grin as I reach for his buckle. The pop of the metal releasing ringing through my ears as I shimmy the jeans off his body. I look up at Warren through my lashes, his eyes wide staring down at me with his bottom lip tucked between his teeth. The sight makes my core tingle.

“May I?” I ask palming him through his plaid boxers, feeling his dick stiffen under my touch.

“I insist,” he grins, helping me slide the boxers off. My eyes widen at his length in front of me. He’s perfect. I take him into my hand, holding his gaze as I let spit drip from my kiss bruised lips onto his tip, allowing me to stroke him easier. He curses under his breath as I move my hand up and down his now rock hard dick. I smile to myself before wrapping my mouth around his tip, slowly moving down his length until he hits the back of my throat, then I hollow out my cheeks, as I begin to bob up and down. Warren lifts his head to take in the sight below him. He rests a gentle hand on the back of my head.

“Fuck, you look so pretty with my cock in your mouth,” he groans, instinctively moving his hips in rhythm with my head. I hum in response as I bring my other hand underneath his length to massage his balls, earning a low moan from him.

Soon he takes over, holding my head as he thrusts into my mouth. I push him in as far as possible, gagging on his length. He stands up so he can properly fuck my throat. This isn’t something that I normally do, I never allow Dakota to use me like this. But right now, I think I would let warren do absolutely anything he desires, and I would enjoy every second of it. This is the first time I’ve ever been so turned on from pleasing someone else. My underwear is soaked my arousal and he’s barely touched me. The praise and moans coming from Warren is enough to get me off. The way his eyes peer into mine as he violates my throat, bringing a gentle thumb up to wipe the tears that creep out of my eyes makes my heart flutter.

“Come here baby,” Warren pulls out of my mouth, I gasp for air as he picks my up to carry me to his bed. He pulls his shirt over his head and asks permission to pull my pants off. I nod quickly, earning a chuckle from him. “You did so good for me,” he lays a kiss on my forehead, using his shirt to wipe the tears and spit from my face, I smile at the sweet gesture. He pulls me into a kiss after climbing on top of me, both of us now completely naked. Warrens hand wonders down to my heat, dipping a finger into my entrance, I whimper at the contact. “You really got off to me fucking your throat, huh?” He smiles against my lips, feeling how wet I am for him.

“Please just fuck me Warren,” I beg. He smirks as he lines himself up with me.

“You ready, beautiful?” He asks. I nod, impatiently scooting closer to him, begging for contact. He chuckles as he slowly pushes into me. Being stretched out has never felt so good. There’s almost no pain as I easily take him, a loud moan escapes my lips

“Shh,” he smirks as he continues to push into me, stifling his own moans. “My folks are upstairs baby, not so loud,” he explains.

“I’m sorry,” I giggle. “You just feel so fucking go-“ I cut myself off with another loud moan as he begins rocking his hips at a steady pace. I clamp my hands over my mouth to muffle my moans. Warren looks down at me as he he pounds into me, a hand reaching down to hold my breast’s that are moving in rhythm with his hips.

“God, you’re so stunning,” he praises as he uses his other hand to push his curls out of his face. The sight of Warren on top of me is something that I never want to forget. If this is the last time he has his way with me, I want to remember this moment for the rest of my life. His hungry eyes that take the time to admire every inch of my body. The way his hair bounces as his cock pounds deeper inside me than anyone has ever been.

Suddenly, he pulls away, leaving me feeling empty as he lays down beside me.

“Come here darling,” he rests his back on the head board as he pulls me on top of him. “I want you to ride me. Can you do that for me baby,” he asks as he lays sloppy kisses on my neck. I giggle in response as I straddle him, happily allowing him to fill me once again. I let out a moan of relief as that void in my stomach is satisfied.

“Fuck,” Warren grunts. “You take me so well, beautiful,” he whispers as I bounce up and down on his cock. I lean forward to kiss him, muffling the moans coming from both of us. I move my hips in unison with his as his hand grips onto my ass spreading me open so he can pound as deep in me as possible. Im positive he’s leaving fingernail makes in the soft skin, but I don’t dare stop him. Warren reaches a finger down to rub circles on my clit, giving me just what I need to approach my release.

“Fuck,” I moan into our desperate, wet kiss. “Just like that Warren please,” I beg. Feeling my body heat up and my swollen cunt begin to throb. As Warren thrusts exactly where I need him, I come undone around him as I erupt in a fit of moans and praises. The euphoria quickly filling my body as my release drips onto Warrens twitching dick. He quickly throws me off of him, cum shooting up onto my chest and on to his stomach. I swiftly dip my head down, bringing him into my mouth to milk every last drop out of him.

“Fuck y/n!” He moans in surprise. Now it’s his turn to cover his mouth as he rides out his orgasm. I pull away to lay next to Warren, our chests heaving in unison.

“Holly shit,” he laughs after few minutes of comfortable silence. “That was…you were…wow,” he turns his head to smile at me, already looking at him.

“I can say the same to you,” I giggle, running my hand over his chest. He brings me in for one last kiss, this one gentle and kind.

“You can use my shower if you’d like, I’ve made quite the mess of you,” he smirks.

“Thank you,” I smile standing up. “Uhm, we’re definitely not going to tell Dakota about this, right?” I ask, suddenly feeling… not guilty… but nervous and almost excited in a strange way.

“My lips are sealed, beautiful,” he winks, taking my hand to guide me to his bathroom.

[scoops-aboy86]

By The Heart (Secret Admirer pt 2)

Steddie Week 2024, July 2: Hands / touch starved / Invisible Touch by Genesis

wc: 2136 / rated: T / set between seasons 2 and 3 / also on ao3

After the world fell apart a second time in November of ‘84, Steve had finished out the rest of his senior year in a daze. Partly because Billy Hargrove had broken a fucking plate over his head, giving him a small scar by his hairline that the doctor said would fade and recurring headaches that the doctor said might stick around anywhere from a few months to forever. 

It’s been more than a few months and the headaches are only slightly less frequent and a tiny bit less severe. 

He graduated, barely. His dad keeps dropping pointed comments about how his parents let him stay in their house rent-free after high school, how he’d saved up while attending a nearby college by not having to worry about the cost of a dorm or basic meals, and that it is his gratitude towards them that has moved him to offer the same to Steve. Usually said comments come after Steve tries to sidestep some sort of menial task, and it always feels like a threat.Steve just grits his teeth and takes it—refills his dad’s drink when the bottle is already literally right by the man’s hand, washes the family car after dinner when both his parents know that Steve has a shift at Scoops first thing in the morning, whatever. He can’t afford to get kicked out right now. 

His job at Scoops Ahoy is shit, all bright fluorescent lights and kids screaming and everything getting sticky for a measly minimum wage, but that probably reflects the quality of the job application he’d submitted. 

He has no friends, no prospects, no one in his corner except a bunch of incoming freshmen and the only one who really seems to want him around is off at some sort of smart people camp that he’d never even heard of… Go figure. 

But he has Secret Admirer. 

Okay, what Steve has is a pen pal who has a PO box and prefers to remain anonymous, possibly because Steve is an embarrassing person to have a crush on these days. And it’s really stupid that he thinks of them as first name Secret, last name Admirer, but it’s not like he hasn’t tried to come up with better names! Unfortunately, there are so many things Secret Admirer has called him (sweetheart, darling, dearest, honey, baby) that he can’t really think of anything original with those constantly rotating in his head… He can’t use them, though. It’d be weird. 

The first letter had been shoved into his locker in the last few weeks of school, looking like someone either wrote it with their non-dominant hand or had also suffered a blow to the head recently, and he hadn’t known what to make of it at first. In fact, he’d considered the possibility that Tommy or Billy were playing some sort of prank on him… but he didn’t think either of them could write “To Steve, the heart of my heart” without bursting into homophobic flames, and if it was Carol she would’ve done her girliest handwriting with hearts dotting the eyes. And his Secret Admirer had mentioned things no one else in his life seemed to care about. 

Like, 

I hope you’re feeling better. Sometimes I notice you squinting or grimacing in the classes we have in common… Are you still getting headaches? Do you get enough rest? You probably already know this, but mental and physical rest are super important for getting your handsome self all recovered, big boy. 

And,

I had a concussion once, not a bad one but it really left an impression. Felt like I was trying to think through a head full of soup for weeks. It sucks that teachers didn’t seem to cut you much slack because, just saying, I noticed they used to do that a lot more when you were still on the basketball and swim teams. Jock privilege placed above consideration of an actual, serious injury? I’m sorry, but that’s the rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril, sweetheart, and you deserve better. 

So, yeah. Clearly his Secret Admirer is a nerd who doesn’t necessarily have the best opinion of jocks… but still took the time to notice all those things and write kindly about them. It felt nice, knowing that at least one person out there noticed, maybe even cared. 

And when that letter turned out not to be a one-off, a few more letters in his locker and then one in his mailbox, postmarked and everything, after graduation? Steve was hooked, enough to start writing self-consciously back. 

Which has brought him to the point of wanting so badly to meet this person that he’s stooped to begging, and it’s not even getting him anywhere. 

It’s occurred to him that it could be a guy, of course it has. Steve might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he knows it happens. He’d had a friend in middle school, Todd Fischer, nice guy, totally normal kid—got caught kissing some boy in the next grade up behind the gym and turned out to be the worst sprinter of the two. The Fischers had moved out of Hawkins a few weeks later and Steve hadn’t heard anything from or about Todd since. They’d been halfway through reading Romeo & Juliet in English at the time, and Steve remembers thinking when they got to the end of the play that at least things hadn’t gone that badly for Todd and whoever the other kid was. He’s old enough now to know that it could have; between Todd being such a nice kid, Barb dying in his own backyard, and the threat of government agents coming out of the woodwork if he ever breathes a word about certain secrets, the thought leaves a bad taste in Steve’s mouth. 

Anyway, if it is a guy, that would explain why Secret Admirer keeps dancing around his pleas to meet. And the initially disguised handwriting—which had been dropped by the second mailed letter, along with a brief, sheepish apology. 

But it could also be a girl who’s really shy or something. Steve doesn’t want to assume and then look like a total idiot further down the road. Whoever it is, all Steve knows is that he doesn’t want to lose them. He has to play this smart, play it cool… because he knows himself, and already knows that they have him by the heart based on words alone. 

The latest letter is in his hands, crinkled a little at the edges, and Steve can’t help himself from rereading the fifth paragraph yet again. 

… those indecently tiny shorts. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought about running my fingers up the inside of those thighs. Or my mouth. Whichever you think you’d like best, baby, I’m not picky. And while I do like ice cream, particularly strawberry with rainbow sprinkles in a cone, I can think of something else I’d love to wrap my hand around and run my tongue over before any drips can escape. You just think about that, hmm? Maybe share some of those thoughts in your reply, if I haven’t scared you off…

He’s not scared off. Doesn’t need to know exactly who put pen to paper to imagine hands and lips running up his legs, either, an invisible touch that sends shivers along his spine. 

Okay, maybe it’s been a while. Between striking out from behind the Scoops counter and not really trying all that hard anyway, the only action Steve’s seen is from his own hand… and this letter. He has thoughts, alright, but has a much better idea of how to translate them into action than words. And this is his problem with the whole pen pal only thing, his natural charm (if he has any left) is absolutely useless in this medium. 

The other problem is that he really, really wants to jerk off about this, except he’s got almost no details to fuel the fantasy. He knows that Secret Admirer had a concussion once, but not what color or length or texture or style their hair is; knows they’re on the fringes of popularity and not really into sports, but nothing about their height or build or how they might move against him. Hell, he doesn’t even know if they’re a girl or a guy, isn’t sure if he should try to imagine boobies and painted nails or stubbled cheeks and big hands. 

Secret Admirer has mentioned being a smoker though, of both tobacco and grass, and Steve is not exactly proud of how strongly this makes him want a cigarette just because it’s all he has to go on. He has work in under an hour and Robin hates the smell of cigarettes, will be extra vicious for their entire shift if he comes in reeking of smoke. 

He’ll have to figure out something else…

Dear Secret Admirer, Thanks for writing again, I was really glad to get your letter. I don’t sleep with them under my pillow because sometimes my pillow ends up on the floor and I don’t want to drool all over them. I keep them in a box in the back of my closet, because sometimes my parents have the cleaning lady do my bedroom without telling me and I don’t want her going through my stuff or putting it in weird places that I can never find again.  Sorry for laughing at you You must not have seen me last week when I threw a banana peel at my coworker for It’s not being humble if I don’t deserve Yeah, fuck high school.  Sorry for not rewriting this, I’m running out of paper and my dad’ll kill me if I break into his office to get more I definitely thought about what you said in your last letter. I thought about it a lot. It’s hard to figure out how to explain what though, because I wanted to picture you like you were probably picturing me when you were writing it. You obviously know what I look like, but I don’t know who you are so I had to get creative. (Which isn’t my strong suit. So if this is stupid maybe we could just never mention it again?) Since I don’t know what you look like and it’d be weird to try and picture you anyway, and then what if I’m not even close and that makes it seem like I don’t like you for who you are? I’m not sure if that makes sense. But anyway, since I don’t know what you look like I pictured you dressed like a ninja.  Hear me out, okay? You’re such a mystery. Ninjas are mysterious, and dressed all black to blend in with the shadows. You can’t see their hair or face and they wear gloves because you can tell a lot about a person by their hands. I guess what I’m saying is I imagined you sneaking into my room at night when the lights are off. Totally silent but with this powerful presence, you know? I think if I were in the same room as you it’d feel like that moment right before the whistle goes off at a swim meet, because that’s just like, holy shit it’s about to happen and your muscles are all tense but ready but you’re waiting, coiled like a snake. So I’m coiled like a snake and you’re still a ninja and I’m not very good at this. I’ve done it over the phone a few times but that’s different. I don’t know where I’m going with this just sitting writing this alone in my room with Genesis playing in the background so I’m going to stop. Just trust me, it was hot. If you ever want to exchange numbers I’d be happy to tell you all about it sometime.  It feels weird to end like that, so I’ll also tell you that I tried reading that Hobbit book you suggested and you were right, it’s a lot easier than the Rings book that the kids I babysit tried to bully me into reading. Bibo is freaking out about all these dwarves in his house and I can relate, it sounds like when those kids all show up and try to rope me into driving them around town. At least they haven’t tried to make me steal anything or try to take on a damn dragon yet. Hopefully this book won’t give them any ideas.  — Steve PS If that was so dumb you changed your mind about still writing to me, please let me down easy. Seriously it would be no hard feelings. At least I still have a great ass and great hair, so I’ve got that going for me.

Tag list (open): @hotluncheddie @lawrencebshoggoth @sofadofax @tangerinesteve @steviewashere

@cryingglightningg @theresebelivett @sleepy-steve @rozzieroos @lunaraindrop

@just-my-latest-hyperfixation @wheneverfeasible @swimmingbirdrunningrock @yesdangerpls @matchingbatbites

@ihavekidneys @p0lybl4nkk @grtwdsmwhr @cheesedoctor @thetinymm

@practicallybegging @fuzzyduxk @greatwerewolfbeliever

[tastesousweet]

⭒ the girl with the tattoo (vii) - pt 1 pt 2 p3 p4 p5 p6

matt sturniolo x fem!oc / reader

summary : a little weed sure eases theses two up.

warnings : implications of sex & use of weed

mickey speaks : sorry this took a while to get out friends, hope u love it. also lowkey self inserting w the hawaii trip :P

THIS IS PART SEVEN GO READ THE OTHERS FIRST!!!

“OH, he’s obsessed!” andrea exclaims across the table, a wide smile smothered over her face.

it didn’t take long for asha to call you and begin debriefing her month-long europe trip to you, only for you to cut her short (because matt began knocking on the door, complaining about how long you’d taken to piss) and ask her to finish her tell-all over lunch. she of course agreed and texted you the location of her favorite ramen place along with: “tell your roomie andrea that she can come with i wanna see u bothhhh!”

she’s spent the last half hour detailing the total princess treatment she’d experienced from a guy she met at her stop in london. “yeah, too bad i won’t see him again,” she pouts.

“you didn’t get his phone number that entire time?” you ask, fiddling with the chopsticks in your hand.

“oh of course i did, i just won’t be using it,” asha laughs and tucks a piece of her dark curled hair behind her ear. “it was nice while it lasted but i’m definitely not trying to deal with the hassle that comes with dating anyone right now,” she shrugs.

“you’re so bad!” andrea shakes her head and giggles, "but you know what, i get it."

asha hides her laugh by guiding noodles towards her mouth.

your phone buzzes softly against the counter and lights up, showing off a new text message from your mom, but more importantly your lock screen wallpaper displaying a sleepy figaro on your chest.

asha squeals through her chews as you pick up your phone to decide whether you’ll confront or procrastinate the text message (that will most likely sour your mood). andrea’s eyes widen at the girl as asha finishes up and starts to explain, “who’s cat is that?!” her acrylic nail taps against the table.

“oh, it’s ours,” you peer over your phone, deciding you’d rather not answer your mom’s text (she's asking how degree-related job searching has been, again).

“what?!”

“oh yes, he's my babyyy,” andrea coos while unlocking her phone to show off the many photos, “his name is figaro-.”

asha swipes through the phone in awe, “and when the fuck did this happen?”

“like a few weeks ago, i wanna say…” you turn to look at andrea while trying to remember.

“i’m coming over way more now. oh my god.” she gushes over the many photos of the playful black kitten before returning andrea’s phone.

“please do, it felt like you were gone for so long.” you whine out the beg before taking another sip of the warm broth.

asha sighs (in a way that causes her lips to flutter a little), “i know, i miss hanging out with my friends!”

“and we miss you! your ass is always traveling somewhere we have to soak up all your LA time while we can,” you joke.

the two laugh along with you, “i think i’ll be here for a while…not until like, my birthday.” asha thinks through her schedule and her mouth widens at the thought of her birthday, “oh my god! i forgot to tell you- mostly because it’s kinda far out? so, the past four years i’ve hosted trips for my birthday in late november... and i want you two to come this year!”

your eyes widen in excitement and your mouth is full of noodles, keeping you from letting out the loud 'yes' you wanted to. so andrea answers for the both of you, “well of course, we’ll come!”

asha’s face can’t possibly be stretched further with happiness as she celebrates, “yay, this’ll be so fun! you’ll get to meet some of my girlfriends and f’course the boys will be there so you’ll know a few people already!”

“and where are we going?” you ask with big, curious eyes.

“hawaii!"

౨ৎ

a distinct berry shade drips over the room in full swoops as the leaving sun peeks through matt's curtains ever so gently. your lips are now almost the same shade of the woven fabric, especially after enduring matt's undying and bitter kisses.

you hear him breathe a soft laugh, finding your body's limp, laid-out position to be straight out of an erotic femme painting: right leg and arm stretched above and below you, left arm above your waist to cradle your tits, and left leg bent and falling over the opposing leg.

you turn your head when you recognize his return, whispering, "hey."

matt’s bed dips accordingly when he lowers himself next to you, fixated on your still-exposed silhouette that hosts a few deep hickeys (he’s recently taken a liking to giving you them, his ego gains a small ignition at the thought of him placing them only where he gets to see), rather than your observant eyes.

he finds one he’d kissed into the skin under your printed hello kitty, leaning closer to lick and suckle at it more. you squirm and push his head away with a whine of his name.

he chuckles and moves his hair from his face, “put some fuckin’ clothes on then.” he lays your sweatshirt and panties, he gathered on his way back to you, against your chest.

you lift yourself easily, though a sleepy yawn still makes its way to you as you fit into the hoodie. matt shifts himself to slouch against his headboard. you finish your redressing before moving yourself higher on his bed as well.

matt thinks your phone screen is severely bright and headache-inducing but he doesn't complain as he normally would, instead he's more focused on balancing his joint-rolling necessities atop his wife beater clad torso.

you pay no attention to him as you exchange texts with remi:

REMI - 6:43 PM

OMFG

REMI

this guy im friends w thinks i should set you up on a blind date with a guy he knows :D

REMI

HE JUST SHOWED ME A PIC AND ... fuck

REMI

PLS SAY YOULL DO IT

REMI

u deserve a nice date night

Y/N - 8:36 PM

hi WHATTT

Y/N

idk rem😭😭

REMI

ABOUT TIME U RESPONDED HELLO

REMI

rlly you dont wanna??

Y/N

ill have to think about it

you sigh while turning off your phone, moving your body to better face matt, who's hands work to add the potent plant into his detailed silver grinder. there's obviously no need for you to stay in his bed or hang around for any longer, but as of late you both aren't necessarily itching to kick the other out as soon as clothes are back on.

"i wanna learn," you declare as you sit up more, looking down at his slouched figure.

"to roll?" he asks pausing his smooth routine and licking over his lips expectantly.

"yeah," you move your hoodie’s long sleeve cuffs away from the lower half of your palm, showing him your dedication and anticipation.

matt smirks and continues to zip the plastic bag once more, shaking his head.

"what? why not, matt?" you pout.

“because i’m already good at it,” he shrugs, “you can smoke with me but you don’t have to be the one to roll.”

“‘kay, whatever. i’ll just get someone else to teach me then, like chris or lucas or somethin’” stretching as you collapse back onto his bed and bury your face in the crook of your arm. when matt does nothing to pull you out of your dramatic fit, you decide to mess with him further, grabbing his phone from its place near his thigh and rolling over so that you lie on the plush of your stomach.

you pretend to type (actually just tapping against his uncharacteristically soft lockscreen, displaying a vintage looking photo of a woman you’d only assume to be his mother) then putting the phone up to your ear, mimicking the ring with a burring noise in your throat. “hey lucas! yeah it's me, matt never gave me your number! i know. that is really selfish and unfair!” you nod along while staring at matt who thinks you look and sound so stupid that it’s kind of cute.

you twirl your hair and bite your lip, really getting into character, “you're right, he is the worst. he won’t even let me roll up with him! but that’s fine, i think i may just need someone more skilled and sexy like you to hel-”

matt taps your barely covered ass harder than he intends to, shocking you in the best way. “alright, stop fuckin’ around and pay attention ‘cause i’m not repeating myself,” he softly demands, gesturing you to sit up with his fingers.

"ow!" you rub at the spot and roll your eyes in faux irritation, fighting the urge to smile now that you've successfully recaptured matt's attention and can still feel the heat of his hand on your ass. you try to give yourself grace in moments like this but you can't help but reflect and feel a bit pathetic when having a crush on someone like matt.

matt, who would never take a relationship further than casual sex and unserious after-sex smoke sessions, especially not with you.

"shh. come here, bruh" he hushes you and you obey, shifting to sit next to him, reflecting his bent position. "'kay," he hands you the grinder, mumbling, "take a look," as he grabs one of the natural hemp rolling papers and places the packaging on his nightstand.

you open the silver lid gently, eyes widening slightly and impressed with the dollops of finely crushed weed laying in the container. "how much do you use?"

"all of it," your head practically snaps over to look at him and he sighs, "y/n, it's like half a gram."

you fight the urge to dip your index finger in the crowd of weed and move it around, "still looks like kind of a lot."

"well, it's not," he shakes his head and adjusts his shoulders. "now you're gonna take some in your fingers and place it in this paper," he taps your distracted arm with his hand to bring your attention to the rolling paper he has curled slightly around his thumb. as you begin to take a hold of some of the substance he warns, "and don't do too much at once- i don't need you spillin' any on us or my bed."

"you're such a diva," you huff and softly sprinkle the weed into the wrapper he's holding.

once it's full enough matt shows you how his fingers guide the paper and fold it into its proper joint shape. he moves his hand towards your mouth, "now you gotta lick and seal it." you inch closer, hesitantly peeking your tongue out just a little to lick at the small flap. "okay, you need more than that baby-ass lick. but don't over-do the spit 'cause that'll fuck it up too," he eyes your mouth when you expose more of your tongue, successfully sealing the joint (with matt's guidance).

he finishes off the end of the joint before presenting it to you, "voilà," matt fiddles with the joint in front of your face before you boldly grab it from his hands.

you immediately encourage him with a wave of your fingers, "gimme that lighter, please."

he's slightly impressed with your sudden confidence and adjusts himself (removing the remaining items from his lower stomach, including the lighter you ask for) and reaches over to light it for you.

matt's lip falls between his teeth due to natural anticipation. the sharp, orange hue sparks to life and you gain a shyness as he approaches the joint in your mouth with it. suddenly your fingers take it away from your mouth as you whisper, "wait, matt."

matt dramatically throws his arm down, "yeah?"

"i don't actually know how to do this," a smile spreads across your face when you see matt's mouth slightly ajar and eyes disengaged.

"seriously? you started talkin' like you've at least smoked a couple times."

you hold a laugh in, "well like, i wanna try it. you just have to tell me what to do..."

"inhale the shit," matt gestures his hands, "hold in your lungs, blow it out. it's simple as fuck," he points to your hand holding the joint, "let's see it."

you deadpan, "you're so unhelpful," you shake your head and place it back in your mouth, "just light me up."

he rolls his eyes as his hand moves back up to you, you lean into the flame and immediately inhale as it comes to life in your mouth.

matt just smirks from next to you, amused at your attempt. you focus on holding it in your lungs and close your eyes as you exhale. the smoke exits smoothly and surrounds your head, when you open your eyes you immediately look over to matt who laughs when he sees a cough brewing in your lungs. you push his shoulder just as you begin a small coughing fit.

he goes to grab the joint from your hand but you raise it away, finishing your cough and putting it back into your mouth to taste the odd plant flavor again.

matt's laugh is still there just died down, "who the fuck are you?! 'just light me up' and then here you go actin' like you own shit." he points a finger at you with his eyes big and playful.

you smirk sarcastically, and your eyes crinkle in the softest way, when you lean closer to him in response, blowing smoke in his face.

౨ৎ

"so why're nick and chris staying so late at the warehouse?" you ask and play with the strings of your hoodie.

matt draws lines across your inner thigh with his fingers, "it's nick's month to do inventory and chris bought some crazy wall art shit he had to finish setting up-"

"you're not gonna help them?"

"oh yeah sweetheart, i'll actually go there right now and help them out." his eyes are so dewy and red you find yourself excusing his annoying sarcasm and instead wanting to kiss him and his puffy eyelids and his flushed cheeks, especially when you're sat on top of him like this.

"still, they probably wanted you around," you explain.

"why do you care so much about shit that doesn't involve you? i left them and invited you over so you should be happy." his voice eases his delivery to not come across so harshly while his eyes squint a little.

"you're right, s'not really my place to have a take on y'all's dynamic." you shrug and feel as his hands stop running over your thighs and instead squeeze harshly as he looks in your eyes.

"mmm, thank you for telling me i'm right," he smiles and leans forward to give your jaw a kiss with his wet, pink lips, "say it again and i'll be fully hard."

"you're a dog," you laugh as he pulls away. "what'd you do today?" you whisper, ignoring the sensation that comes with him feeling up your lower half.

"guess." he blinks slowly.

"mmm... i don't know. you tattooed some people, fucked me, made fun of me, smoked..." you list off on each of your fingers.

he nods along as you list each, making different facial expressions depending on the task. "those are all definitely things i did.."

"did you eat?"

"i mean, yeah...ish." he rubs his eyes and his mouth begins to curve slightly, knowing your next sentiment well enough he could say it with you.

as if on queue, you prompt him with a question that tends to come up quite often when the two of you finish fucking, "can we get food?"

౨ৎ

the doorbell of matt's shared townhome rings through the house as the two of you giddily stand near the door, "3, 2, 1.." you count through giggles before opening the door and facing the young man dressed head to toe in papa johns gear.

"oh. my. god!" you exclaim in a ridiculous country accent, "baby come here, they sent a man to sell us insurance or somethin'!" you call out and pinch your eyebrows.

before the man can get a word in matt comes into frame, cowboy hat in tow and his mocking accent deeper yet identical to your own, "now who 'den sent you here to harass my woman? huh?" he holds a tooth pick in his mouth and squints his eyes. "and how much would i owe to have whatever you got in them boxes, son?" he points and you try not to laugh from behind him.

"uh, it's just a pizza delivery that was ordered to this address, sir..." he looks around, checking the numbers displayed next to the door once more.

you peek your head back in, "you know what, charles, it was probably little john, you know he's always orderin' that amy-zun and what not from that tablet!"

"mmm..." matt pretends to think and not laugh as he holds onto a fake belt around his black sweatpants, "my lady's right," he cracks a smile, "you know how the kids get," he tuts and gestures to the man again while pulling out his wallet, "i owe you?"

"only $12.57."

"right," matt grabs a few bills and whistles, "wife, come grab this box for little john would you?" he hands the money over as you reach for the pizza box, "keep the change, boy." he tilts his hat in dismissal and as soon as the door is shut matt's falling to the floor with laughter as you laugh and place the pizza box down, screaming about how close you are to pissing yourself.

౨ৎ

"asha told me about her birthday trip in november," you say, licking your lips of excess pizza sauce.

matt nods and swallows to respond while wiping his mouth, "yeah she does that shit every year."

you adjust yourself on the bed and grab another slice of the cheese pizza in between you two. "it sounds fun, i'm excited," you say before taking a bite.

"yeah, it's usually fun. usually." he laughs.

"meaning?"

"last year in mexico nick almost fist fought asha's boyfriend because he was bein' shitty to her on her birthday. it was a fuckin' brawl everyday of that trip, i swear."

"damn."

"yeah. but don't trip, asha's not letting anything ruin her birthday this time, she loves herself too much to do that." he rolls his eyes in endearment towards his friend.

"well, how about you? your birthday's next weekend.."

matt shakes his head and looks to the side for a moment, "we always struggle to figure out what we're doing for our birthday. the three of us wanna spend that time together but chris wants a party, nick wants a small get together with games, and i'd want a lowkey dinner or something."

"you could always do all of the ideas but on different days."

"that drags it too much, we'll most likely host a party like we did last year, chris will probably nag us enough to make us give up." matt shrugs and takes a bite of his slice.

"well, i'll be at whatever you decide to do," you smile.

"oh will you now?" his eyebrows lift for just a moment in humor.

"well duh."

"and who's inviting you? cause it won't be me," he smiles and stuffs his mouth again right as you push his shoulder and laugh off his bad joke.

꩜⋆ ˚｡⋆🎱˚

tag list (ily):

@rootbeerworshiper @deadxrx @breeloveschris @saintsturn @honestlybabymiracle @hearts4chris @starrysturniolo @blissfulbellss @aoxash @st7rnioioss @blondiesjailer @cupidsword @nickmillersn1gf @sturnioloa @thinkingabkinkyshit101 @tcvazq @novasturniolo03 @imaslutforwhitemen @trinity2058 @taking-a-footnote-in-your-life @1horrormoviewhore1 @keira324 @st7rnioioss

@whicked-hazlatwhore @matthewsturnioloswifey @mayhem-72

[r-g-d2]

Fionna and Cake

Finn and Jake!

A F&C Swap Au! :))

Pt 1? Re-Drawings!

presenting the idea!(? 🥹

("pt 2" out! some "posters")

Hello!! I bring u smthing super special to me today!! <3 is a— project? that I have waaaaay time ago!! And finally after being so lazy I finished it!! <33

I bring u— Finn&Jake! A Swap!Au of F&C of course :)) A thing I was SOOO EXCITED to show!! <3 Is something I plan to carry more than just some drawings! ;)) I have a lot planned!!

But for now...

This is just a post to Present to you the idea! And if this Post gets support, I hope it is like that- I'll bring more information about the Au! And characters! Bc they change, duh— hehE-

Extra sketchsss!!!

Hehee <3 pretty simple but I thought they were necessary—?

Ok, Now, clarifications:

1— I KNOW I'm not the first one in swap Fionna w Finn, I KNOW I am NOT the first one in swap Betty and Simon, and I KNOW I am not the first one in swap Scarab and Prismo either, Im pretty conscious about that

💛- But! I think Im the first one in actually do Fionna as Finn :bb Bc— Honestly I think I just saw ppl drawing Finn w Fionna's normal life, but not Fionna w Finn's magical life 🤔 u know— all buff and w Cake's... tattoo 🙃🤧

And! I think, or feel, like I am the first one in combining all this Swaps in just one SwapAu!! :DD So- yuh—

2!!— Guys! I know some re-drawings might look kinda weird and kinda not like AT Style, But the thing is this:

💛I have the Sketchs of all this since NOVEMBER of last year, Then in December I just was doing the linearts, And just now I finished all this... So, dont worry, that for future drawings of all this Au, will be better!! Will look better, and be more close to AT/F&C actual style since I improved w it!! <3👍

And 3!!— Dont worry if some designs doesn't convince ya! (cofcofSwapPrismocofcof) Some will definitely change in the future! :)) (cofcofWinterQueenCOFCOF—) but they have this "issue" cause of Clarification 2 I could say.. (In the moment I did the sketchs, all this wasn't planned too well... so I didn't put much effort into the designs...?)

And I think that's all I could say by now :))

Remember this is something just made for fun!

Hope u like this Au! bc- Honestly it means a lot to me for some reason..

And hope to bring u more information! Not soon though— I need to rest a little hehE— All this post was a "stress" in my head for all this time.... BUT IT WORTH IT‼️💛💛 WOOO SUPER PROUD OF THE RESULTS!! BUT FUTURE ONES WILL BE EVEN BETTER!! WOOOO—

well— ehem—

See ya!!! 💛

[bartxnhood]

talk fast | c.t.h

calum hood x fem!reader

summary: you both agreed to no strings attached, right?

warnings: oh boy tons of drinking (sorry), smoking, language, brief mentions of sexual activity (nothing explicit), and sexual innuendos.

w/c: 13k

a/n: hi my loves !! this one is a long time coming, i’ve been working on this since september. i started school in november which put a halt on all of my writing, but now that i graduated expect more from me. :). to all of my calum lovers, this one’s for you. p.s: if this does as well as i hope it does, i may consider making this a series on wattpad.

a/n pt.2: shout out everyone who helped my write this. esp @valentiyne you guys are amazing. 🩷

requests open

not proofread

Copyright © 2024 bartxnhood. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.

✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵

you weren't a stranger to relationships, and you'd had your fair share of them over the years. which you were aware that everyone else did, but you weren’t really serious about relationships. you didn't want to be with someone who didn't envision a future with you or who didn't share your goals.

your friends often told you that you should let loose and enjoy yourself, but that was not the life for you.

you had been in a very healthy relationship with someone you had known since college for the past few years. however, as time went, he became increasingly open about his needs for different things and eventually ended his relationship with you.

you went into a deep depression after the breakup, you didn't leave your apartment for weeks, you only showered maybe twice, and you couldn't remember the last time you ate anything other than instant noodles or ice cream.

what else could you do while you were wasting away? you had imagined spending the rest of your life with him, and now he’s gone.

your life seemed to change overnight.

while your friends and family around tried being there for you, you had pushed them so far away that they had just decided to give up on you. except, your best friend, olivia, finally dragged you out of your bed and forced you to shower so you could go out for the night with her.

“you need to get out, have fun, and forget about that jerk” she states, standing above you as she glides eyeliner on your eyes. “you’re hot, you’re fun, you have a great personality. i’m sure we can find you someone tonight!” she adds while finishing your makeup.

“olivia…” you sigh then look into the mirror, watching as your friend painted your face with a determined look in her eye. “no. we’re gonna have fun, we’re gonna party and get drunk. kay? you need this.” she grins, resting her head on your shoulder looking at you in the mirror. “now, go change into the outfit i brought you.”

"where are we going, anyway?" you ask, pulling at your skirt, which was riding up as you moved. you loved olivia, but some of her dress choices made you uncomfortable. "my brother got us into the pre-release party for the band five seconds of summer," she adds, gazing down at her phone for directions to the club, a hole in the wall on broadway. "what?!" you exclaim, your eyes widening. "how did he do that?" olivia laughs and clasps her arm around yours. "well, when you have a brother who manages a band, you kinda get vip treatment," she spoke with a grin. "plus, I told him how you've been feeling down, so he talked to the guys and they said it was fine," she chuckled softly, as the two of you continued your journey to the club.

the entry to the club was immediately visible due to the brilliant pink, purple, and red lights illuminating the street, as well as record posters in the windows. "this has to be it," olivia says as she opens the door for you, walking in after.

this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so you should be excited, right? but you couldn't shake the nagging guilt on the inside.

it’s okay to move on, right?

olivia leads you to the bar and orders a couple shots, "to your drop dead ex and a new beginning!" olivia cheers, toasting the glasses and the two of you downing the liquor.

you were about to start speaking when you were interrupted by olivia's brother, mark.

"it's been a long time, y/n!" he welcomes you with a shout. “how’s it going?” he asks, you see olivia roll her eyes and turn to her brother. “mark, we were having a conversation.” she states matter of a factly.

"i know, but I just wanted to introduce you to some of my buddies," the tall ginger says, stepping to the side and revealing four taller men. mark introduces them, "this is luke." he had blond curly hair, ocean blue eyes, and a white button-down shirt with the top button undone.

"michael," he said, his pink hair slicked to the side, a black snapback on, with a small wave of his hand in greeting. "ashton.” he had curly hair like luke, but it was fashioned in a 60’s greaser type of way, he smiled at you warmly, extending his hand for you to shake, the two of you nodding in acknowledgment of the other. "last- but not least, calum."

your gaze met his brown eyes, his chocolate curls resting just above his eyes as he looked you in the eyes. he was dressed in a white button-down shirt with black stripes that complemented his tanned and tattooed skin. he softly whispered "hi" as he squeezed his lips together in a smile. you smile back and nod. "hi.” calum's gaze lingers longer than he would have preferred, but he couldn't help himself. no way, not with you dressed like that. the way the black skirt clung to your hips and the dark blue halter top left nothing for the imagination

“guys this is my sister, olivia, and her friend, y/n.” mark says, pointing to the two of you, bringing calum out of his daydream. “nice to meet you guys” you say, offering a warm smile and they all nod to you. “are you staying for the show?” ashton inquired, olivia nods. “of course we are! wouldn’t miss it for a thing.” she gently nudges your arm, you laugh softly and nod.

"great, can't wait for you all to hear the album," ashton says, as the other three nod in agreement. "well, I have to get them backstage, but I'll see you later, okay?" mark replies, and you and olivia nod as the group disappears into the busy room.

as the show began, olivia tugged you closer to the stage, two rows back. the lights dimmed and you heard a huge cheer from the audience as the four boys you had just met took the stage.

your gaze was drawn to calum, who seemed engrossed with the music. how he made it appear so easy while looking so nice. you kept an eye on him for the majority of the night, but your mind was elsewhere.

you had found your way to the bar after the show had concluded; it was a terrific show, as expected, but seeing the band live was a weird experience, and you just couldn't enjoy yourself given your circumstances.

you found yourself reminiscing on your relationship during songs like "lie to me" and "why won't you love me," wondering whether you would have said something different or been more open to him. maybe you’d still be together.

you finish the drink you ordered and search the crowd for your best friend, but when you can't find her, you return your attention to the empty glass in front of you watching it being filled.

"was our stage set really that bad?" when you hear a voice, you quickly look up to find the person who is speaking. "i saw you, you seemed unhappy," calum adds, leaning on the bar. you shook your head and let out a breathless laugh. "no, it was actually very good," you say with a smile.

calum's gaze lingered, he leaned forward. "but? you were definitely not having a good time." you shrug and allow the bartender to refill your drink. "well, i got dumped not too long ago." "so", you trail off, messing with the glass in your hand.

"just not in the mood for a party, i guess," you shrug, and you hear calum hum. he switches his weight from one leg to the other. "actually, you looked pretty hot on stage," you cover your mouth and widen your eyes. "oh my goodness...i." you can't help but giggle, "i'm so sorry," you shake your head, and then gulp the last of the drink in the hopes that it will provide you with some liquid courage.

"you think I'm ‘pretty hot’?" he asks, his brow furrowed and his tongue protruding from the inside of his cheek. "no..i.." you sigh, removing some of your hair from your face. calum chuckles "no, no. you said it, you think I'm hot," he says in a teasing manner, crossing his arms with a quirked eyebrow.

calum would be lying if he said he didn’t think you were attractive as well. he had been eyeing you all night and figured, why not have some fun?

“what are you doing after this?” he asks, stepping a tad closer to you. now, he was just a few inches from your side and you caught wind of his cologne. you look down at the empty glass again, wondering what you’d say. you knew what he meant, and you had never done anything of the sort.

“well that depends” you answer, looking up from the glass and letting your eyes meet his. “well, i was kinda hoping you’d want to leave here with me” calum suggests with a smirk. you smile, figuring you could let lose for one night. “sounds great.”

it was just one night..right?

your eyelids flutter open, and you immediately feel a piercing pain in your temple. you groan silently and look about until you realize you're not in your bedroom when you peek over your shoulder, you notice a figure.

he was facing you, on his side. his curls were brushed back, his lips were slightly parted, and his arm was resting on your waist.

"oh, shit.." you think as you sit up against his headboard, drawing the loose sheet closer to your chest. your mind is filled with images from the previous night. meeting him, and then their brief talk in the bar. you rubbed your temples, still reeling from what you'd done.

you had slept with calum hood.

you had to get out of there because you couldn't believe what you'd done. you were never the type to do something like that. you attempted to remove the sheet so you could hurry up and put on your clothes from the night before and go home. however, while you were doing so, calum's arm gently tugged on your waist. "stay.."

when you looked at him, his eyes were still closed. you didn't move, feeling frozen as your gaze landed on the arm that framed your waist. you couldnt lie, calum was very attractive.

eventually, you finally managed to break free from his touch, and you threw on your clothing while searching for your phone and handbag. you discreetly opened and closed the door, making your way through the house to the front entrance.

you come to a halt as you pick up your shoes, pondering whether or not to leave your phone number for him. but you tell yourself that you'll never see him again, opening the door and walking out.

you order a lift home and finally check at your phone's alerts. olivia left almost twenty messages and made thirty phone calls. you tell her you're okay and on your way home.

you opened your front door to find olivia racing towards you. "where the hell were you?!" she exclaims, her eyes wide open. you hush her with a "shh," dropping your shoes beside the door. "i texted and called you!" "i know, i know," you remark as you pass by her to your room. "you can't just leave like that!" she exclaims as she follows you.

"olivia.." you sigh and stand in your bathroom, removing the last of your makeup from the night before. "i'm sorry okay, i was drunk and he was right there in front of me." "who?" she asks as she leans against the doorway. "calum.."

there was radio silence for a split second before you glanced to olivia, who erupted. "you slept with calum hood!?!" she exclaims, lunging for your arm. "calum hood?!? the one from five seconds of summer?" you closed your eyes, your head still throbbing, and her ranting only made matters worse. "okay, yes? i was drunk, and he came up to me for a moment...and the following thing led to another..."

"you slept with calum!!!" the ginger laughs as she claps her hands and softly jumps up and down. "oh my god!! my y/n is getting some!" you groan, throwing away the makeup wipe while moving past her. "oh, god. ew!" you exclaim as you enter your bedroom in quest of your pajamas. "tell me everything!" she says as she sits on your bed. "uh..no.." you say as you begin to change.

"just...leave it, im not going to see him again," you say as you brush your hair after changing. "what?! didn't you leave your phone number or something?" "no, olivia, it was just one night," you shake your head. i don't plan to see him again, okay?" you reinstate by placing the brush on the dresser. "ugh, you're no fun!"

"you should be happy about this, you're one step closer to moving on from your asshole ex-boyfriend!" exclaims olivia. you take a step out of your bedroom, looking over your shoulder at your ginger friend. you smile sadly, "i don't think I'll ever be able to get over him."

"we are going to be late!" olivia yells as she tugs you out of bed. "i don't want to go," you protest, but the ginger pushes you into the bathroom. "get yourself ready and meet me outside, okay?" she smiles and goes away.

you sighed as you stood in front of your mirror and went about your business. wash your face, then apply skincare, makeup, hair, and finally your clothes. this consisted of a cropped white shirt, a black skirt, and boots. for the nightlife scene, this was your typical go-to.

you grab a leather jacket and your money on your way out the door to meet with olivia. “great, you're done!" she grins and grabs your arm. "and looking as hot as ever," you sigh, "i wear this every time we go out, olivia. this isn't anything new." you explain, and the two of you start walking up to the bar. "yes, but being single looks good on you... you look happier." she beams. you shrug and continue going, laughing as you say, "whatever you say."

you two arrived at the bar, which was already quite crowded with people you knew, and said your 'hi's and 'hello's' as you walked through the crowd to reach your normal friend group. this was a birthday party for one of your mutual friends; you were invited because you knew a few people there, but you didn't intend to stay long. after only a few drinks, you were dipping.

"hey, i'm going to get a drink, do you want anything?" you ask olivia, who was in the midst of a conversation. "um, no, i'm good for now," the redhead responds softly. you nod and turn around, headed for the bar.

you take a seat on a bar stool and order your usual, then pull out your phone and scroll for a few minutes as you wait for your drink.

"fancy seeing you here," you hear from behind you. when you turn around, a familiar face greets you.

calum hood.

you gaze at him for a time, blinking slowly, wondering why the hell he was at this party in the first place. how did he know your friend group?

"what? like what you see?" he laughs and walks up to the stool next to you. you discreetly giggle, rolling your eyes as you notice your drink in front of you. "you're full of yourself, calum," you say as you sip your drink. "well, you weren't thinking that when you were in my bed a few nights ago, were you?" he says, lifting his eyebrows as he speaks, attempting to elicit a reaction from you.

"oh god.." you mutter. calum follows you as you push yourself off the stool and onto the club floor. "come on, I was joking." when you hear his remarks, you shake your head and spin around to tell him off, but you freeze when you realize how close he is.

calum gazed back at you, his chocolate eyes piercing into yours. the way his wavy hair fell just above his eyes. you couldn't think straight when he was wearing a tight-fitting black t-shirt that emphasized his muscles- or how nice he looked in those black plaid pants.

calum hood was fine, and he knew it.

"you're a jerk," you reply, eventually jerking out of your daydream. as he steps closer, you can smell the tequila dripping from his breath. "oh yeah?" you say, nodding, "yeah." "well, you won't be saying that when you're in my bed again."

as you stare into his eyes, your grasp on your cup tightens. you couldn't take your eyes off him.

"fuck you."

he takes pleasure in your reply and leans in, his face right up against yours, whispering, "maybe later, sweets." then calum walks away, leaving you on the dance floor.

you find yourself back with olivia and your group of friends, scarfing down the drink knowing you needed to be intoxicated for the night ahead of you.

"i saw that," she says, as the two of you sway to the music. "what?" you inquire, attempting to appear clueless. "calum hood, hitting on you!!" she rolls her eyes. she giggles and pokes at your side. "no, it was nothing," you promise, moving her arm away. "whatever you say," she sings.

while you were on the dance floor with your friends, you were pretty intoxicated, and you knew he was watching you. you tried to ignore the sense of his eyes burning holes in the back of your skull. he observed your hips swaying to the music and the way your hair layed against your skin. It was driving him crazy.

flashes of you in his bed, your skin gleaming with sweat, the softness of your lips against his, or the touch of your nails on his back that sent thrills down his spine.

normally, he would never return to someone with whom he had a one-night encounter, but he couldn't get enough of you. he hasn't stopped thinking about you since that night.

you'd had enough of his glances and decided it was time to face him.

"stop" you say as you approach him. he blinks and asks, "what?." you sigh and roll your eyes. "i know you're staring, stop it." calum laughs and sets his drink on the bar. "i don't know what you're talking about, pretty." you sigh and rub your temples. "don't act innocent, i saw you." you say. he shrugs and leans forward. "oh, I'll show you innocent"

"calum, we can't do this," you say, looking him in the eyes. “It was only once." you say, as if attempting to persuade yourself. "oh, yeah?" you cross your arms and nod. "because it seems you don't believe that." calum retorts, his hand coming to rest on your hip.

as he moves in closer, you catch the scent of his cologne combined with the booze on his breath, which sends a shudder down your spine. you see flashes of his figure hanging over you from a few nights before. you couldn't possibly lie to yourself because you think about it every day.

"i know you want me.. i see the way you look at me," he continues. "come on, let's have some fun." his thumb was tracing circles on the fabric of your skirt.

you look into his eyes, your stomach flipping. you didn't want to give in, you didn't want to become someone you weren't. but that was calum fucking hood, and you couldn't resist him when he looked at you like that. "fuck it," you state.

you gaze at the sleeping figure beside you, his breathing calm and steady. you couldn't help but feel bad, so you told yourself you wouldn't hook up with him again. you told yourself you'd never see him again. he was a celebrity, and you were just a city dweller who happened to get caught up with him.

you lie there for a moment, admiring calum. how could someone look so lovely while sleeping? you yank the covers off your legs and frantically dress to leave him yet again.

you collect your shoes at the exit, stand for a moment debating whether or not to leave your number, but you decide not to because this is the last time you'll see him…

right?

from that night forward, you felt like the universe was messing with you because calum appeared to be at every party, club, or bar you went to. he'd approach you as if nothing was going to happen, as if he was teasing you in some way- but it always happened.

those nights, you'd always end up in his bed, never yours.

you couldn't help yourself; no matter how hard you tried to pretend you despised him, you couldn't keep the mask up because you always caved and went home with him.

it became a habit; you'd go out with friends or by yourself, secretly hoping calum would appear in some way.

some nights, you weren't even there to drink, just to be there.

it was the same thing every time: you'd pretend to despise him because a small part of you wanted a serious relationship yet couldn't get enough of him. he made you feel alive. your ex never made you feel that way. the only person who ever made you feel *loved* was calum. you both knew it was only for fun, but it made you wonder if it might ever turn into anything more. you were always silently wishing you had left your phone number all those times, wondering if he would have called or texted you.

plus, you were aware that your friends, particularly olivia, were becoming suspicious. you had recovered quickly from your split following that first night with calum. she knew you’d leave with him at those gatherings but she didn’t stop it because you seemed to be doing better and you were a lot happier.

so far, calum was treating you right. at least, when the two of you were hooking up. so she never made any effort to stop what was happening.

for what felt like the hundredth time, you were back in his bed. instead of looking at him, you've turned your gaze to the ceiling. you know you should leave because it's about noon and you need to get home because you have plans with olivia later that day. you groan, running your hands over your face before getting out of bed and hunting for your clothing, all scattered along the floor.

"since you obviously don't want to stay," he spoke suddenly, causing you to pause in the middle of putting your shirt back on. calum raises up to rest on his elbows as your head spins around. "how about we just agree that this is a no-strings-attached situation," he suggested. you finish putting on your shirt and take your place at the foot of the bed. "calum.." you sigh,rubbing your eyes.

"y/n, just listen and consider it. we can keep doing what we're doing without making any commitments."

you stare at him, his hair was messy, he wasn't wearing a shirt, and you couldn't help but admire his physique. you lean down to grab your shorts, responding while you did so, "i'll think about it," before throwing on the rest of your clothes and leaving his bedroom. as you close the door behind you, you hear him sigh.

your hand was on the doorknob as you stood at the door, but you stopped yourself from opening it. you hated yourself as you reached into your bag for a pen and a random scrap of paper to jot down your phone number. you retrace your steps and leave it on his kitchen island. then you disappear from his home once again.

you unlock your apartment door and walk in, closing it behind you. you enter the kitchen, putting your bag on the counter and grabbing a water bottle.

"where have you been?" you jump out of your skin when you see olivia behind the refrigerator door. "what the hell, olivia!" you exclaim, nearly spilling the bottle. she's standing with her arms crossed with an intense stare. "did you hook up with him again?"

you move out of the kitchen and into your room, closing the fridge. "no, I don't know who you're talking about." you respond, but olivia isn't having it. "stop lying. you were with him last night and the nights before." "so?" you grumble.

"so?!", she exclaimed, you can't tell if she's really mad at you or just acting this way, she repeats. "you're having an fling with a celebrity! you have a habit of hooking up with him. surely something has to be there." she follows you to your room, standing in your doorway as she questions you.

"it's nothing, olivia. we just happen to be at the same location at the same time. okay?" you explain while looking for some clothes to change into.

"i call bullshit. you were never like this, until you met him." she continues, making you sigh. "it's just a distraction, okay?"

"I just...I don't know," you shrug, unable to express your feelings. "i'll meet you later, okay?" you turn away from her.

"actually…i have a date tonight," olivia confessed. "im sorry, but i'll have to cancel." she frowned. "that's fine," you say sympathetically over your shoulder. “have fun, and please text me when you get home, okay?" olivia nods, singing, "i will, love you hot stuff" she passes by you to leave your shared apartment.

you're sitting on your sofa with a container of leftover takeout from a few nights ago after freshening up. olivia had somehow gotten you hooked on a cringe-worthy television show.

you were already two seasons in and couldn't recall a single episode. calum had made your memory fuzzy. you couldn't get him off your mind. you remained curious about what he was doing when you left. did he think of you the way you thought of him? did he ever wonder what you did when he wasn't there? though you convinced yourself you were just being delusional.

…right?

calum glances at the scrap of paper on his kitchen counter, his fingers tapping near his phone, unsure whether to wait to message you. calum was well aware that what he was doing was probably not wise. because, after all, hooking up with you was just for fun, right? so why was it so difficult for him not to think about you? why were you so difficult for him to forget? it was just intended to be once, but now calum thinks about you whenever he gets the chance.

calum sighs, picks up his phone, and starts punching in your phone number. he has no idea what he's doing, but he doesn't stop himself from sending you a message.

- ‘hey, it’s calum’

you're standing in the kitchen right now, washing your hands, when your phone dings. your heart sunk as you looked over and said the message. you swiftly withdraw your hands from the sink, grab a towel, and dry them.

you take out your phone and read his message. You stare at it for a moment, unable to believe he actually messaged you.

-‘hey’

you respond as you stroll over to your sofa and sit on the cushions. you weren't anticipating anything from him because he'd practically established that the two of you were only in it for the fun of it and that was it. no strings attached. you don't hear from him again for the time being.

you're disappointed, but you return your focus to the television, hoping to forget about the singer on your mind.

you haven't heard from olivia in hours; she should've been home by now, but you guess she went to the guy's place she was seeing.

you get up from the sofa and grab your phone; all of your anxiety fades as you open your phone to calums' contact information and call him.

It rang several times before he answered. “hello?”

“hey, calum sorry if i’m bothering you”

“no, you’re good. what’s up?”

“i was just wondering if uh…if you’d want to hang out?”

"what do you have in mind?"

you laugh, "not like that"

you can hear him laugh in amusement, “sorry- yeah, sure. there’s actually this party tonight and i wasn’t going to go since i didn’t have anyone to go with. would you be down for that?”

you pause for a moment, picking at your fingers. “sure! that sounds great” you answer.

“nice, i’ll send you the address to ashton’s place and i’ll meet you there. see you tonight, sweets.”

you arrive at ashton's house, sitting in your car for a few minutes as you ran your options through your head. ‘was this a smart decision? were you planning to do this?’ you groan, taking your phone, and bag then exiting the car, heels clicking as you approached the entrance.

when you opened the door, you were greeted by the smell of alcohol and loud music. you stroll past the crowd near the entryway and start looking for the person you came here to see.

you notice him in the kitchen with his bandmates, he noticed you as well. with a tiny smile on his lips, he motions you over to the group.

"hey," you speak softly now that you're standing close to him. "hi," he greets, unconsciously placing his hand on the small of your back. "guys, i'm not sure if you remember, but this is y/n," he reminds before re-introducing you to the rest of the band.

"are you mark's sister's friend?" michael interjects, you nod. "yeah! i was the one in the blue top that night," you smile, everyone nods in acknowledgment. "well, i'm glad you could make it, if you need anything just let me know." "thank you," you nod nervously, then glance up to calum.

he offers to take you around and introduce you to some people to make you feel more at ease.

"i'm going to get something to drink, you want anything?" you make the offer to calum, who is seated on the sofa, he responds with a simple, "sure." you nod, heading to the kitchen by yourself, leaving calum with his buddies.

"how long have you two been together?" someone seated next to calum asked, he turns to see it was ashton's girlfriend. "oh, no- we aren't together." he responds, but her reply is unexpected. "are you serious?" she asks, calum nods. "no way," she whispered, astonished as she takes a sip from the crimson solo cup. "what?" calum questions.

"there's no way you two aren't together," she says again, "the way you look at her. i'm not sure what the two of you are up to, but you should figure it out," she concludes, chuckling. calum simply stares at her, her attention drawing elsewhere.

he thought about what she said the entire time you were gone. did he actually act that way? did he treat you as though you were his girlfriend? did he look at you in a way that suggested you two were dating? no… you two were just hooking up. nothing else.

he had no idea you were back until you spoke up. "here.." you offer, handing him the drink. calum looks up takes the drink you offered, "thank you sweetheart" "anytime, sugar" you chuckle and go for a seat, but all of them are taken… okay, so you would just stand up for the time being. when calum notices this, he reaches for your waist and pulls you down onto his lap. you look down at him, confused, “what are you doing?” he looks up at you with those eyes.

those big brown eyes that made you feel as if you were on cloud nine. calum looked at you like you were the only girl in the universe.

at least, that’s what you told yourself.

“i’m not just gonna let you stand there.” he answered with a cheeky smile.

people started to leave after a few hours. you were still sitting on calum's lap as everyone else congregated in the living room, talking about whatever and playing drinking games.

you get up from the calum's lap, leaving your drink behind to walk to the restroom down the hall. you approach and knock, hearing someone in there. you stand a few steps away from the door and pull out your phone to pass the time.

after a few minutes, calum finds you. leaning his arms against the wall, effectively caging you between his arms as he stands in front of you. "whatcha doing?" he demands, boxing you in and staring at you. "I'm waiting for the bathroom," you say, glancing up at him.

"you know..." calum pauses, coming in closer. "my house isn't too far from here, and i have a bathroom..so..you can just use it there," you sneer at his offer, "how convenient.." you respond, just above a whisper.

you push yourself off the wall and past calum, leaving him speechless. "where are you going?" he asks, his arms at his sides. "your place. you coming or not?" you grin as you peer over your shoulder.

calum chuckles quietly as he approaches you and wraps his arm around your waist. he was nearly dragging you to the door. "sorry guys, we have to run!" he grabs your bag, carrying it for you before dashing out the door with you.

the others could only chuckle to themselves and smile knowingly as the two of you dashed away.

you're back in his bed, and you know it before you open your eyes. the smell of his bedsheets let you know you were back. the warm vanilla smell invaded your nostrils as you stretched and opened your eyes to find yourself staring at a familiar ceiling. you check over your shoulder for calum's sleeping figure, but he's not there.

you carefully sit up, bringing the sheet along to cover your chest and rubbing your eyes with your other hand. only then do you spew calum standing at the doorway wearing only basketball shorts. "good morning, princess," he says, and you groan, feeling a headache coming on. "i'm making breakfast if you want to stay," he says before walking out the door. you sigh as you get out of his bed and seek for your clothes before leaving his room for the kitchen.

you notice pancakes and fruit on a plate waiting for you. as he stands and consumes his food, you take a seat at the kitchen island. It's quiet for a few minutes before he speaks up.

"so i was thinking.." calum begins. you raise your head to look at him. "i know we said no strings attached but what if we expand the deal?" you lift your brows, confused as to what he was on about. "what do you mean?" you inquire. "at parties, we could be each other's automatic plus one. that way, we won't have to worry about who we go home with." you look up at him, then down at your plate, shifting some of the food about.

"i don't know, calum." you let out a sigh. you want to say yes, and you want to be around him at all times- but you just can’t confess it. "i'm just tired of being ditched by the guys at events, and i wouldn't mind if you were the one to fill that spot," you gaze up, your eyes meeting his. "okay...i'm down," you nod, and calum smiles. "great."

you continue eating as silence fills the room, you don’t really know how to keep a conversation with him since you two only hung out at parties. “when’s your birthday?” he asks. you chuckle, “what happened to no strings attached?” you ask, taking a drink of your water. “well, we can be friends with benefits. friends can know things about each other” he rebuttals. you look at him, finally caving. “y/bd” you answer, calum nods. “that’s coming up” you shrug, “its a couple months. what about you?”

“january 25th” he answers. “happy belated birthday” you reply and he laughs. “so you do have a heart.” you rolls your eyes, “oh whatever.” you can’t help but crack a smile.

calum admires you, how you still manage to look beautiful even in the makeup from the night prior and your hair is a mess. calum wants to be your friend, he wants to know stuff about you other than how you are in bed. he looks down at his plate, knowing he shouldn’t be thinking of you as anything for than his fuck buddy.

“what’s something you’ve always wanted to do?”

you think for a moment, your free hand is now supporting the weight of your chin. “hmm..i’ve always wanted like a big birthday bash.” you answer, “but i just never had the opportunity or people to go with” you add. he nodded, making a mental note.

———

calum proceeds to ask you out every other night, claiming that he doesn't want to be alone. of course, you went, but it simply muddled your sentiments for him. because he made it apparent that you were just friends.

so what was it about him holding your hand at parties that got you so worked up? or when he'd hold your back as you walked through a crowd of people. you'd have to convince yourself to stop staring at him for so long before anyone noticed.

you opted to see someone else on the side in the hopes of sorting out your feelings because the only reason you had feelings for calum was because he was the only person you had been seeing this much, right? furthermore, calum had made it obvious that there were no strings attached.

"hello?" you answer the phone as you go inside your apartment after getting home from work. "hey! "I'm sorry if i'm bothering you," calum says over the phone. "no, i just got home from work. you're fine!”

“how are you?" you ask, placing your keys on the table.

"i was just wondering if you're free tonight?" he inquires. you sigh and open your refrigerator to see if you have any snacks. "um, actually i was going out with a friend tonight…" you speak, and on the other end you hear him sigh, "okay! if your plans fall through, let me know." you smile to yourself, "of course," and it gets silent for a bit as the two of you are at a loss for words, "well, i'll let you get ready then..." "alright...bye..." you say as you pull the phone away from your ear and finish the call.

calum sighs as he tosses his phone to the opposite end of the sofa and rests his head back. he knows that he should not be disappointed; you have your own life, and calum was only a little part of it, just as he had his own life but knowing he wouldn't be able to see you tonight hurt. so, instead of moping about, he decided to ask his bandmates if they wanted to hang out for the night.

however, the night was uneventful; luke had met a girl, michael was conversing with someone, and calum was left alone with ashton.

"isn't that the girl you're seeing?" ashton says unexpectedly, motioning towards you at the bar. calum looks over his shoulder and sees you talking with a guy.

calum is hurt, but he turns around and shrugs as he faces ashton. "we're not seeing each other, i don't like her like that," ashton chuckles as he sips his drink, "sure you don't," calum moans, "mate, cmon.."

“you’re lying to yourself, mate. maybe you don't say you like her, but your eyes say everything." ashton spoke, calum knew it was true. he did like you, but he was unsure if you even considered him more than someone just to hook up with. you had been giving him mixed signals, because one night you were all about him but the next day you wanted nothing to do with him.

calum peers over his shoulder once more, this time observing that the guy that was now touching you, his hand on your leg, inching higher and higher. calum considers ashton's words and walks away from the table he was at towards you.

the way he felt was enough confirmation for his feelings for you. he wanted to be more than just a friend you sleep with. he wants to the be the person you come to during your darkest times, he wants to know your favorite songs, he wants to know your favorite movies, food, candy, animal, he wants to be your person.

“so when were you going to introduce me to your friend?” your head whips around to find calum standing behind the bar stool you sat at. “calum?” you blink before turning back to your date who had now removed his hand from your thigh. “you know him?” the man questions, eyeing calum.

“uh…he’s just my-“ calum cuts you off, “boyfriend” he finishes for you. your eyes go wide looking at calum again, you were about to open your mouth but calum beat you to it. “and we should be heading back now” he reaches for your waist, grabbing your purse and escorting you out of the bar.

"what the hell!?" you yell outside the bar, shoving him away from you. "you can't do that, calum! we're not exclusive, we are not dating; we're just friends who occasionally hook up" you hear calum chuckle and it sends you over the edge.

you huff and begin to walk away, but calum follows you and drapes his arm over your shoulder.

"youre mine and i don't share"

"where are you taking me?" calum walks next to you, instinctively leading you to his car. "home," he says, unlocking his car door and allowing you to enter before closing it and walking to the driver's side.

within a few minutes, you realize he's heading in the opposite way. "calum this isn't the way to to my place" you're saying. "I know," he replies, looking over at you. "i never said which home"

‘get ready, im coming over’

calum takes out his phone. he thinks nothing of the message you just sent him, presuming you're coming over to visit him. however, when you came and kept honking the car horn for him to come outside he was a bit thrown off.

when calum walks outside, he puts his phone and wallet in his pocket while walking over to your car. as you roll down your window, he leans in. "get in, we're going shopping," you say, music still playing and a smile on your face.

"why exactly do you need me for this?" calum inquires, his brow furrowed. you reply, "well considering you'll be the one taking it off i figured you might want to help me pick out something" while grinning. despite his flushed cheeks, calum takes a step back, unlocks the car door, and hops inside.

you took calum to the mall and modeled for nearly two hours while looking for the right outfit for your birthday. it had been two hours of no success until one of the last stores you visited had this leather skirt you had been eyeing for a while.

calum couldn't take his eyes off of your body when you emerged from the dressing room. both the halter top you chose and the skirt perfectly complemented one other. you drawled, "sooo?" hoping for a positive response. he answers right away, "yes." when you looked down at yourself, he speaks up again. “that’s the one, you have to get it.” and you couldn't help but laugh. you nod and examine yourself in the mirror before returning to the dressing room to change into your clothing so you could check out.

you happen to pass a leather jacket on your way to the register. and it just so happens to go well with the skirt. additionally, you observe that calum is examining it longer than anything else you have so added in the store. you made the choice to pick it up, do your best to estimate his size, and continue moving forward to pay.

on the way back to your place you pick up takeout since it was getting late in the evening and you both were starving.

when the two of your arrive home, you get comfortable on the sofa and begin picking out a movie while calum is in the kitchen sorting out the food before bringing it all into the living room. you picked out a movie and the two of you eat in peace, enjoying each others company.

afterwards, you had started cleaning up all the empty containers and throwing it away with the help of calum.

“will you put the skirt on again? i forgot what it looks like” calums asks and you laughed, looking over your shoulder. “seriously?” he nods. you pause for a moment before rolling your eyes and sigh, “fine.”

you walk out of your bedroom in the skirt but you hid something behind your back, looking a bit shy. which was unusual because you never acted like this around calum, so he knew something was up. “y/n, what’s behind your back?” he asks in a teasing tone and you begin walking towards him slowly. “okay, so, don’t be mad but i may have picked you up something too..”

she grins bringing the jacket from behind her and handing it towards him.

“i—y/n/n please tell me you didn’t buy this leather jacket for me” you take a few steps forward. “i’ve never heard you say please before. this is new.” you say, smirking. calums rolls his eyes but he can’t help but smile and you continue, “but yes i did. i saw you eyeing it so i grabbed it”

he tries to hide his smile. “well go on, put it on” you help him into the jacket and it’s then when he notices. “did you get this so we could match?” he says laughing. “no i absolutely did not! i just wanted to do something nice for you” he quickly responds “you didn’t have to go through the trouble of getting more clothes sweetheart. taking some off would’ve had the same effect” he chuckles. you playfully hit his chest and say “you’re insufferable.” you look away but then looks back smiling.

“but yeah maybe i wanted us to match a little bit. sue me” he grabs your waist and pulls your closer, you feel his thumb drawing circles on your exposed skin and it sends shivers down your spine. “well i certainly appreciate the thought, sweets. now we just need an occasion to show up everyone” calum teases, leaning in. his lips only inches from yours, you feel your cheeks warm up. “calum..” you warn but he continues to close the space between the two of you. “it’s just one kiss..”

you hate your birthday, it was the one day of the year you always found yourself to be the most miserable despite having people who loved you around. you still felt so unhappy.

“y/n, are you ready? you can’t be late to your own party!” olivia calls out from the living room. you exit your bedroom, meeting her in the room. “i’m ready, im ready” you say, throwing your bag on your shoulder. “y/n..” you hear olivia sigh, she takes a few steps towards you and puts her hands on your shoulder.

“lighten up. i know you hate your birthday but this year im not

letting you be miserable. kay?” she gently shakes you enough for you to crack a smile and nod, “good” she says, linking her arm with yours.

“now let’s go before people think you bailed your own birthday party.”

the two of you arrive to the same club where you had first met calum yet this time, the atmosphere was different.

no purple, pink, or red lights. no promotional posters in the windows. instead, you see white paper decorations and warm fairy lights.

you enter the bar in front of olivia and hear a loud uproar of people cheering as you did and some people even popping confetti. you couldn’t help but laugh as you walked through the crowd, seeing all of your close friends standing around celebrating you.

olivia was also giddy, knowing she had planned this whole thing along with calum.

“you guys didn’t have to do this!” you said over the music after you saw the cake sitting in the middle of the room, you’re beaming with joy. for the first time in a long time you were excited to be celebrating your birthday.

you spent time greeting people and thanking them.

some of these people you haven’t seen in years and it made you feel like things were finally getting better.

just as you were about to catch up with some old friends, the lights dimmed and you heard some light strumming from the nearby stage.

you look over seeing four familiar figures underneath the red stage lights.

“hello everyone,” luke begins, adjusting the mic. “if you all don’t know, we are five seconds of summer” the crowd roars at the name drop and some people are playfully hitting your shoulder not knowing your tied with the band.

“we just wanted to say we are truly honored to be back at the place we showcased our recent album, and of course to celebrate the birthday girls special day.” .

“so, happy birthday, y/n. we hope you have a wonderful year.” luke beamed.

the set was at least forty-five minutes long, they had played mostly their new stuff off the youngblood album but dropped in a few older songs.

you were over the moon.

to say you had five seconds of summer perform at your birthday party? that’s huge.

you never thought you’d end up in this position.

to say you had personal connections to people as big as calum, or even the whole band for that matter.

tonight was a night you’d definitely never forget.

standing outside the club, you watch the people inside dance and get lost in each other. the whole scene was almost melancholy- the way everyone was there to celebrate you. the night was near ending and you felt so cramped in there, you thought you'd spend the last few hours of your birthday catching your breath.

"hey you" calum voice interrupts your thoughts, a cigarette between his fingers as he watches you from a close enough distance. you furrow your brows, "didn't know you smoked"

he quickly flicks it to the floor, stepping on it a few times before picking up the trash.

"Is it a turn off?"

"no no i just didn't know" you shrug and look back up at the sky, "i don't think i know anything about you aside from you're good in bed and you like whiskey" he chuckles now, stepping closer to you and placing his hands on your waist.

"well, ask me anything you want"

you watch as he looks away for a moment, searching for the perfect question.

"if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?"

your eyes don't leave the sky as you think, long and hard about the question. "i’d love to see paris... it's been my dream since i was a child."

you could feel his hands loosen from your waist, he steps infront of you and stared down at your face with a smile. It's almost like he's thinking of what to do or what to say next.

“paris?” he repeats.

you nod, tilting your head to the side, studying him. "what about you?"

calum had now completely removed his arm from your waist as he leans down to rest his elbows on the metal railing.

“considering i’ve toured around the world, ive been to plenty of amazing places” he says, looking back to see if you were looking at him.

“i don’t have just one, too many places, not enough time to explore” he answered.

you nod, looking away towards the city. the nightlife in downtown los angeles was a lot lively than normal.

probably because your birthday fell on a friday this year, so all of the bars were jam packed and faint music flooded the streets.

you inhale, about to say something as your turn your attention back towards the brunette.

“y/n! cmon!” olivia grabs your wrist pulling you inside and away from calum, towards the large cake so you could blow out the candles.

“come on birthday girl, make a wish!” olivia cheers along with everyone standing around. you laugh, “okay okay!”. you blow out the candles and everyone begins to cheer. olivia hugs your side and giggles, “what did you wish for?” she asks. you grin petting her head, “if i tell you it won’t come true, will it?” your eyes flicker between calum and olivia as you speak.

you hear olivia groan in annoyance. someone amongst the crowd, you guess ashton, you could recognize that arm anywhere, points to the cake and says, "birthday girl gets first pick!"

you finally see his figure merge from behind someone with a plastic plate and knife. "what piece does my girl want?" ashton continues.

you examine the cake once more and point to a corner piece smothered in the purple icing with a kiddish like grin on your face. ashton's nods and begins to cut you a piece.

as it nears the end of the night and the bar slowly begins to empty out, you've found yourself at the bar watching everyone says their goodbye and share a hug with you before leaving the building.

the music was faintly playing now, compared to when you had arrived eariler.

solo cups trashed the floor, paper plates and napkins scattered the bar table. you look down at the glass setting in front of you as you swirl around the liquid contents. you didn’t even notice calum approaching.

“how was your birthday?” he hums, sitting next to you.

“good” you smile, resting your head on your hand. “tonight was good. you did great on stage.”

“yeah?” calum raises his eyebrows, you see a playful smirk forming on his lips. “mhm, very rockstar.”

calum laughs at your comment and then the two of you fall silent, watching as some people begin cleaning up the mess.

“can i talk to you?” calum questions, turning his focus back to you.

you nod, “yeah, of course”

“in private.” he adds.

you raise your eyebrows , wondering what he needs to say that he can’t in front of your friends.

“sure”

calum takes your hand and leads you towards the back door, which you had no idea was back here.

when he opens it, you see a patio with a string of fairy lights surrounding the area.

“you’re going to think i was stalking you or something, but this just happened by chance. i swear.” calum stands you in front of him as he reaches in his back pocket and hands you a plane ticket.

“we’ll be in paris on the first leg of our tour and i had an extra ticket.” he stated. you look up at him wide eyed, then do a double take to make sure you were seeing it right. “calum..what? i…i just i can’t just-“

“i want you there.” he adds.

“i want you in paris with me, hell- i want you on the whole tour with me. please, take it” he offers it to you again, making you take it.

“oh my god” you mutter, looking down at the ticket now in your hand.

“the flight is in two days, i know it’s hella last minute but i figured its now or never” calum speaks softly.

you’re still at a loss for words, your body working faster than your mind as your wrap your arms around calums figure. “thank you so much” you say into his shoulder.

“anytime” he hums, hugging you back.

“cmon cal! we gotta head back.” michael can be heard from the bar.

the australian pulls away and offers a warm smile, “see you in paris..” he says and walks off. “bye..”

you’re quick to whip your phone out and text olivia before heading back to your apartment partment

“youll never believe what just happened”

“is this a good or bad thing”

“uhh good? i think? i hope so”

“well dont leave me in the dark what happened”

“calum gave me a ticket to paris” “WHAT, Y/N THATS HUGE. are you gonna go”

“i mean, id feel bad if i didnt. i hate how easy it is for me to like him.”

“we’re so having a debriefing when you get home.”

the plane ride was long and tiresome, eleven hours of being so uncomfortable in the seats and having someone next to you who had no regard for personal space. plus, you just hated planes in general.

but once the plane landed, you felt a wave of relief and soon enough you were off the plane and navigating your way through the foreign airport.

once you get to baggage claim you wait for your luggage and once you have it, you begin looking around for a familiar person.

you round a corner and finally see the one you had been searching for. “there’s my pretty girl” calum says, as his eyes lands on you as he makes his way towards you.

“i look awful calum” you laugh as his arms wrap around you tightly. “no such thing” he says into your hair before pulling away. “how was the flight?” he adds, taking your luggage from your hand then linking his free hand with yours while leading you out of the airport.

“long” you laugh tiredly, as you watch him load your bags into the back of the car.

the uber back to the hotel that calum was staying at was nice, being able to see nice scenery before you’d sleep for the next twelve hours.

the plan was, you’d sleep for as long as you could until calums show tomorrow, then hopefully, you’d be well rested and enjoy his concert and have a few days in the city to spend with him.

still only as friends..right?

while you start unpacking, calum was helping. “when are you going to sleep?” he asks, taking your now empty suitcase and putting it next to his as you were folding and putting the clothes in the dresser. “probably when i get done here.” you say closing the drawer to the dresser.

“no, you’re not” calum says, causing you to stop and turn to him. “what?” you blurt, harsher than you wanted. “what do you mean ‘no’”.

“i mean no because i’m taking you out tonight.” “calum” you try to interject but he doesn’t let you. “were going out tonight, no ands, ifs,or buts. kay?” he says, walking towards you. “and be sure to wear that skirt, you look good in it.” he whispers into your ear.

“what skirt?” you ask, trying to act oblivious.

calum scoffs a little, “you know the one.”

you finish swiping the last bit of mascara onto your lashes and close the tube, then check yourself in the mirror once more wanting to make sure you outfit was good enough.

“you done?” you hear calum voice ring the hotel room into the bathroom. “yeah!” you yell back and grab your lipstick, touching up your lips before throwing it and a gloss in your bag and exit the bathroom .

“you look great” calum grins, walking towards you. his arm snaking around your waist and pulling you closer. you grin, taking notice just how good he looks in leather jacket. “so do you, mr.rockstar.” “yeah?” he smiles, you nod. “yeah. you ready?” you ask. “yep let me get my wallet”

the night was nearing an end, you walked down the street next to calum, luke and sierra followed behind the two of you. calum had taken you all over the city, to nice cafes, his favorite spots from the last time he visited, and a museum. it was truly a wonderful day in the city of love.

the four of your turn a corner and suddenly you’re shocked by the bright dazzling lights of the eiffel tower.

you’re starstruck, you must’ve stopped in your tracks became calum looks back at you, “you comin’?” he grins, holding out his hand for you to take.

you felt like a kid in a candy store as you approached the structure. it felt like something out of a dream. you weren’t sure why you loved the idea of being in paris, but you were here now. standing in front of the famous landmark in the world, it was so beautiful you could cry.

“wow..” you speak breathlessly. the twinkling lights reflected in your eyes, the way it stood out against the dark sky, it felt like the most magical thing you had ever seen.

you’re quick to take your phone out and snap a couple pictures, not wanting to forget this moment. it would be something you would talk about forever.

“hey y/n-“ sierra taps your shoulder. your spin around and face the girl, “mm?”

“care to take a pic of me and luke?”

“sure!” you take the phone from sierra as the couple poses in front of the sight. “i’ll take a couple so pose however you want” you smile and begin snapping pictures of the two.

luke and sierra were a good couple, they complimented each other very well. and from what you’ve seen of sierra she was a good friend and good girlfriend to luke.

“check those, make sure you like them” you hand the phone back to sierra so she can check them.

“perfect! thank you so much!” sierra beams looking at the photos then up at you.

“do you want some with calum?” she asks.

you look over at calum who was already looking at you. “um, sure!” you hand your phone to sierra.

you and calum stand next to each other and let sierra snap a couple pictures together. luke is standing behind sierra watching as she makes sure to get all the angles.

“beautiful!” she exclaims with a wide grin as she hands your phone back to you so you could check the pictures.

you swipe through the pictures awhile calum looks over your shoulder.

“god damn” the australian begins, “we look good together.”

and it was true. you did look good together. maybe you could picture being with him more than his ‘friend’.

your eyes flutter open to the soft rays of the sun peeking in through the sheer white curtains of the hotel room. “morning, pretty” you hear calum say causing you to look over your shoulder where he sat on the opposite side of the bed.

you groan quietly, rubbing your eyes as you slowly sit up to lean against the headboard. “mornin” you reply followed by a yawn. “what time is it?” “noon” calum answers, turning off his phone. “damn” you reply knowing you’ve slept almost a whole day. “sorry” you say but calum shakes his head, “don’t apologize, you needed the rest. plus, you’ll be well rested for tonight” he grins, you shake your head and playfully push his shoulder.

“what’s on the agenda for today?” you yawn again, and calum leans back on the headboard. “well, we have to be at the venue at two and soundcheck is at three”. he says, checking his phone for the time.

“good, gives me plenty of time to get ready” you say, reaching for your phone. “do you want to leave with me or do you wanna just come whenever you’re done?” you shrug thinking about how long it’ll take you to get ready. “i might just uber after i’m done that way i don’t have to rush.” you start, ripping the cover off of your legs. “plus it’ll give me enough time to make sure i look good for you tonight.” you say with a grin before getting out of the bed and making your way to the bathroom.

calum laughs before calling out to you “you’re a tease, you know that?” you smile to yourself using water for your shower. “always!” you holler back.

you’re sat in the back of an uber staring out the back passenger window. the venue isn’t very far from the hotel so the ride wasn’t too bad. when you arrived you saw the line of fans outside all waiting in queue you smiled to yourself, feeling proud of the band, and calum.

you step out of the vehicle and walked around like a lost puppy trying to look for olivia’s brother, mark.

you take the time to see everyone waiting in line dressed in their best and looking beautiful.

“oh thank god” you start, spotting the blonde man. “y/n! you made it!” mark smiles, pulling you in for a hug.

“yeah, thank god, i almost got lost.” mark nods and begins leading you down a long corridor until reaching the dressing rooms. “i figured you’re here for calum?” you look up, staring at him for a moment before blinking. “that obvious huh?” mark laughs, then hands you a vip laminated lanyard. “keep this on you, have fun and enjoy the show.” he adds as he pats your shoulder.

you watch as he walks away, taking a deep breath as you open the door peeking your head in. you see the guys spread out in the room until calum looks up from his phone to greet you.

“its about time you got here, i was about to worry.” he says, now pulling you into their dressing room. his tan arms wrap around your figure and you get a whiff of his cologne.

he keeps you close to your side as the other guys come up to greet you. “was it hard to find?” calum inquires, you shrug, “i walked around the building until i eventually found mark and now im here” you laugh. “probably a little late, traffic was crazy”

calum smiles, “all good, at least you’re here now. that’s all that matters.” he says, slinging his arm over your shoulders.

“all right guys, they’re all ready for you” some stage manager, you had to guess, said as they popped their head in the door.

you separate from calum as he fixed his in-ear-piece and grabs his bass. you smile at him and give him a thumbs up and watch as he followed behind the other three.

“are you sierra and y/n?” and woman enters the room, her dirty blonde hair was cut to about her shoulders but it was obviously growing out. she had a welcoming smile and comforting aura. the two of you nod. “perfect, i’m hannah i can take you guys to your seats!” she beams and then the two of you follow her out into the arena where she showed where the two of you would be at.

side of the pit, calums side, so it was actually perfect for you. “are you guys going to be on the rest of the tour?”

“i will” sierra smiles. then hannah turns towards you.

“oh, i don’t know yet” you laugh, taking a swig of your drink.

“well, i’ll be on the tour with the guys so if you every need anything just look for me.” she smiles again. “enjoy the show!”

it was incredible to see, they were truly in their element. each of the acting as if they were born to be on stage.

“wow!” michael hollers about midway through their performance, taking a small break in between songs. luke is still strumming quietly in the background. “paris, how the fuck are we feeling?!” the crowd erupts in loud cheers.

“it’s great to be back after so long” he continues, then takes a glance at his band mates. “how are you all liking paris?”

“good, i love it here” luke answers, earning a few hollers from the crowd.

“how you liking paris, cal?”

“what about the view here? it’s such a beautiful place” luke interjects.

“you seen anything nice lately, calum?” luke continues

“yup, the views in my hotel room are amazing.”

your heart stopped, it was subtle. just enough for only you to notice. he was definitely mentioning you.

“do you mean from?” luke chimes.

you can faintly see calum smile as he laughs into the mic, “yup, my bad.”

“alrighty then.” michael pauses, luke had taken a few steps back from the mic but could still be been laughing.

“then how about you introduce the next song?”

“the next song is for all those who end up meeting someone and know it won’t be more than just having fun. and they’re okay with that. talk fast.”

you wondered what it looked like from their perspective. you turn to face the crowd and you’re overwhelmed with what you see. people screaming their lungs out to the lyrics, some dancing with their friends, you even see some people crying. you also see some signs. some more creative than others, and some sweeter than others.

you manage to spot one that made you a little uncomfortable; “call me red with the way i be riding hood”

sure, clever, but it made you realize that if you had a shot with calum, what’s stopping him from hooking up with any other fan when you’re not around?

shit.

maybe you did like him more than just a fuck buddy.

during the next intermission you and sierra had made some small talk until you overheard some girls next to you in the pit talking about calum.

“oh i’d totally fuck him.” she says nonchalantly. “i bet you i could easily pull him by the end of the night, i just need to find my way in.” she giggles.

you shift on your feet and turn to sierra who also heard it. “welcome to my life..” she raises her eyebrows then take a sip of her drink.

you sit in silence on the uber ride back to the hotel. calum sat to your right, you knew he was looking at you and he wanted to ask what was wrong.

did you have a bad night?

was the show bad?

the whole way back to the hotel you hadn’t spoken one word to him. you didn’t even look at him.

why did you feel like this?

calum wasn’t even yours. you had no valid reason to be angry.

except you did.

you were afraid that he would want someone else, that you were easily replaceable. you couldn’t deal with that, you couldn’t go through another heartbreak.

you should’ve known that messing with him would’ve lead to this, but you were naïve and wanted something to distract you from your ex boyfriend.

your feet seem to have a mind of their own as you storm past calum and out into the freezing cold.

"y/n/n, cmon don't be this way", he laughs innocently while pacing himself behind you.

you don’t say anything except press the elevator button and wait impatiently for the doors to open. you really couldn’t tell anyone why you were being so stubborn, hell, you didn’t even know why.

once the doors opened you were quick to slip in and press the button to your floor. you stand with your arms crossed, staring blankly at the metal. doors. you were quietly wishing he would say something, anything at all.

“y/n?” he tries reaching for your arm but you shrug him off. “not in the mood cal.” you reply. you knew you were being stubborn and very annoying.

he hasn’t given you a reason to act this way towards him.

you knew you were overreacting. plain and simple.

*ding*

the elevator doors opened and you walk through the hallway towards your bedroom. you scan the keycard and open the door letting calum follow behind you like a lost puppy.

you throw your purse on the bed and take your jacket off. “y/n. please.” you hear him sigh. calum feels guilty and he doesn’t even know what the hell he did. but whatever it was he was going to fix it. he couldn’t take you being mad at him like that.

“why dont you go bother someone else, looked like there was plenty that would love to be in your bed” you hiss, the words spilling from your lips like venom.

calum stops in his tracks, also removing the leather jacket from his shoulders and tossing it on the bed. “what?” he asks, dumbfounded.

“don’t play dumb, cal.”

“i don’t know what you mean, y/n.” he bites back.

“i mean, if you can sleep around with me what’s stopping you from sleeping with your fans?” you confess.

calum just stares at you, “what? what are you talking about?” the bassist was genuinely confused, you had never reacted, at least, not when he was around.

“the people at the show, cal. the signs, their outfits, the way they talk about you-“

calum cuts you off, “look, i don’t know where this is coming from or why you’re acting like this but-“

“i’m acting like this because it was never just about being friends with benefits calum!” you confess, staring at him intently. “i can’t keep acting like im okay with not being able to love you. i don’t want to be hurt again. not by you”

everything came spewing out of you like a waterfall. all the months of pent up frustration and confusion had finally found its way into the world.

you were so frustrated you didn’t even realize what you had said, you turn to look out the window and stare at the lights from the city.

calum doesn’t say anything, racking his brain to make sure he heard you right. you said you loved him, without really even saying the three words.

“you said you love me.”

you look over at him, “what?”

“you just said you ‘can’t keep acting like you don’t love me’.” he repeats.

you shake your head and look away from him. “i didn’t.” you try to get him to leave it alone.

“you did” he sighs, coming next to you and takes you by the shoulders and turns you to face him. “you practically said you love me.”

“calum-“

“i love you too.” he smiled. “i don’t know if that means anything now but i do. i have for a while.” he confessed.

“y/n, you’re nothing like i imagined you would be. when i met you that night in the bar i thought you’d be like all the other girls, which i know doesn’t help, but; this has been the best past year of my life and i think of you more than someone i fuck occasionally.” calum is looking into your eyes. “you’re more than that, y/n/n.”

there are tears welling in your eyes, you shake your head. “i don’t want to be hurt again. i don’t think i could take it.” calum nods, reaching for your hands.

“i understand, but trust me when i say that id never do anything to hurt you, okay?” calum assures, “you’re everything and more.”

*buzz*

*buzz buzz*

you groan and reach for your phone, opening one eye to look at the notifications. you have over ten messages and five calls from olivia. you sigh, wanting to ignore her antics but maybe it was an emergency. you unlock your phone and see all the messages.

‘girl check instagram.’

‘what time is it there’s

‘are you asleep?’

‘omg omg y/n!!!!’

‘you’re not gonna believe this.’

‘girl i’m freaking out !!!!!’

‘y/n please check your instagram.

‘you’re gonna flip.’

‘ please wake up.’

‘i’m calling you’

you sit up in confusion and then check your other notifications to see over hundreds of notifications from instagram. “what the hell” you croak and then open the app.

‘calumhood tagged you in a post.’

you swipe through the pictures until you see the very last picture which was you standing in front of the eiffel tower with your back turned to him admiring the view and then you saw the caption; “they say paris is the city of love <3”

you practically shoot up from your position staring wide eyed at the phone. you read some of the comments in a panic.

‘lukehemmings: it’s about damn time’

ashtonirwin: finally! don’t hurt my girl;)

calumhood replying to ashtonirwin: your girl?

ashtonirwin replying to calumhood: yep:)

michaelclifford: called it!

sierradeaton: you posted the pic !! omg !!!

5sos_updates: the last slide omg!?!? also last night was crazy!

iheartcalumhood: who’s the girl?

“calum??” you say out, hoping he was still in the room.

you hear the bathroom door open. “yeah?” he asks walking around the corner only dressed in a pair of basketball shorts.

“why did you post that?” you ask showing him the instagram post. “i wanted to prove to you that everything i said last night is true”

you blink, staring at him with little to no expression. “your first thought to do that was post me on your instagram?”

“uhh i guess? should i not have done that?” you crack a smile and look down at your phone, “i cant believe you, cal.” you say, falling back on the bed to scroll through more comments.

“can’t go back on it now” he says, standing at the foot at the bed.

“you’re stuck with me forever” he says crawling on the bed, hovering over your figure. “really? because ashton said i was his girl. sounds like you have some competition, hood.” you state, showing calum his comment.

he takes your phone and tosses it somewhere else on the bed. “nope, you’re my girl forever and always.” he hums leaning in to leave kisses on your neck which earned giggles from you. “calum!”

[crucifiedfaerie]

Nicotine Stains | Pt. 2 ༉₊˚✧

Modern!Kylo x Fem!Reader AU

➴ Summary: As your relationship with Kylo grows behind closed doors, so does your worry and confusion about what exactly you are to him.

➴ Part One

➴ Word Count: 5.2k

➴ Warnings: 18+ MDNI, fem!reader, dom!kylo, modern!delinquent!kylo au, smoking, swearing, quite a bit of angst, kylo is a stupid man who doesn't know how real relationships work apparently, he also doesn't know what communication is, reader is in her head about it, mutual pining, finnpoe my loves make an appearance (its canon to me idgaf), fluff, kinda hurt with comfort, SMUT (unprotected PiV sex, car sex, softdom!kylo, kinda breeding kink ?? oops), typos probably

➴ Taglist: ( @enviedear @capitanostella @teapartydreams @beautifulbluejay @mochiseni )

A/N: im alive !!!!! holy shit i promised this would be out in like november. oops. the writers block has been so real im sorry. now that i have this out though, chapter two of growing pains will be coming next !! i promise i didn't abandon that.... anyways i hope you enjoy !!

masterlist

You impatiently sat, knees tucked beneath you and head resting on the back of your family’s couch so you could look out the window. The men in your life had been away for a week and a half, and while you couldn't deny having Finn out of your hair for once was like a peaceful vacation in itself, you missed Kylo like crazy. Having to look at his sleek, black Charger parked in front of your house every time you looked out of your window didn't necessarily help either.

When he told you Finn had asked him to tag along on their annual camping trip, you couldn't help but laugh. The image of Kylo trying to fit his tall, broad frame into a tiny shared tent with your father and brother was too hilarious to you.

"What’s so funny, kid?" He had laughed back at you.

Usually, Poe was the one to go on those trips with your brother and father, but with him away at pilot school, Finn had been lonely recently. He wasn't expecting himself to take it so hard, but gods did he miss Poe. Despite missing Kylo, you were glad he agreed to go and keep Finn company. Your father, of course, was also overjoyed to hear that Kylo would be joining.

Your eyes lit up as your father's beat-up car pulled into the driveway. You watched as they unpacked the car and exchanged words you couldn't hear before Kylo parted ways and headed to his car with his bag hanging off his shoulder. When he reached the driver's side door, he noticed you in the window and gave you a subtle wink before getting into the Charger and pulling away. 

Part of you was expecting... hoping for him to come in, but you should have known he wouldn't. It's not like your family knew of your weird relationship that had been blossoming for the past month. You couldn't help but still feel a little disappointed, you hoped maybe he would have just said fuck it and come in and kissed you. Maybe he didn't miss you as much as you had missed him? Your heart sank at the idea. 

The mixed signals Kylo had been giving you were starting to give you whiplash. One minute he would be in your room treating you like you're the only person in the world who matters to him, and the next he'd be standing in the kitchen talking to Finn or your mother, not even giving you so much as a glance. 

The thought of asking him about what exactly the two of you were honestly made you wanna die. You didn't want to come off as clingy and ruin whatever it was you had, but the twinge of hurt that came with every time he ignored your presence was starting to become… too much. 

You sighed and walked upstairs to your room, feeling defeated. You practically collapsed in your chair before putting on your headphones and starting on some schoolwork, attempting to think about anything but Kylo. 

A thump muffled by the music in your ears broke you from your calculus-induced trance. When you turned around in your chair you were met with Kylo on your bedroom floor, who you assumed had just fallen through your window. You giggled at him, pulling your headphones down to rest around your neck. 

He groaned before sitting up and smiling at you. "I meant to do that." 

"Sure." You laughed, getting out of your seat to join him on the floor.

Kylo leaned against the wall, pulling you into his lap. He gave you a quick kiss before pulling away and looking down at you with those pretty brown eyes you can never seem to get enough of these days. "I leave for nearly two weeks to go into the middle of nowhere, and I can't even get a text from my girl when I get home?" He asked, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth.

You felt the warmth creep across your cheeks at the way he called you his. "I got carried away with homework, I didn't even realize what time it was." You glanced at the window behind him, noticing the dark indigo hue of the sky.

Kylo smiled, peppering small kisses down your jaw. "What were you listening to?" He lightly tapped your headphones with his long fingers. You took them off before carefully placing them over his ears. "Chevelle? I see my good taste continues to rub off on you kid." He grinned.

"Don't be so full of yourself. My dad loves Chevelle, I got it from him." You laughed, taking the headphones from him and tossing them into your chair. Kylo smiled before standing up, taking you with him, and setting you on your bed gently. His kiss was needy, and he slowly pushed you backward until you were lying down.

He pulled away, out of breath slightly. "Do you know how much I missed this? You were on my mind every night I was there... I couldn't even jack off because we were in that stupid tent..." He paused, shutting his eyes. "You didn't hear that." 

You giggled. "You jerk off thinking about me? Are you obsessed with me or something?"

Kylo laughed, rolling his eyes. "You idiot." He attacked your face with kisses that tickled, causing you to let out a half scream. "Shhh kid, your mom's gonna think you're being murdered up here." 

As if he had summoned her, you heard a knock at your bedroom door. Kylo quickly stood up from your bed, rushing over to your closet and maneuvering himself inside before shutting the door quietly.

You shook your head at him, stifling a laugh and taking your seat back at your desk, pretending to look like you were doing something. "You can come in." 

Your mother opened the door with a soft creak. "Were you talking to someone?"

You quickly fabricated a lie. "I was just on the phone with a friend from my class." 

Your mom nodded, briefly glancing around your room. "I actually came up here to tell you to ask Kylo if he's coming to dinner on Friday. I meant to ask when they came home earlier, but he left so fast I missed him." 

Your hands felt sweaty. Why would she ask you to ask him? Did she know? "Why wouldn't you ask Finn to talk to Kylo?" 

She leaned on the doorframe slightly. "Well he's been driving you to and from class a lot recently, just ask him for me tomorrow would you? And you better make sure to thank that boy for driving you around! It's very nice of him."

It took everything in you to hold back the laugh that threatened to surface. You just knew Kylo was doing the same. "Yeah, I'll ask him." You had almost forgotten you had class in the morning. Fuck.

"Thank you. Goodnight, I love you." She began to shut your door. "Remember. Tell him thank you." 

"Yeah, yeah. Goodnight, I love you." You laughed as you listened to her footsteps disappear down the hall.

You leaned forward in your chair to open your closet door. Kylo chuckled softly. "Is there something you needed to say to me?... Sorry, I couldn't hear the conversation very well with this door in the way." He smirked, taking a step towards you. 

"Oh shut up." You smiled back at him. 

He pulled you closer to him, wrapping his long arms around you. Your face pressed into his shirt, the smell of blackberries and pomelo from his cologne filling your senses. "It's fine, you can thank me in different ways." He whispered into the top of your head.

You giggled nervously, feeling your face get hot again. "Yeah?"

Kylo took your face into his hands and leaned back as if to study you. "Yeah..." He smirked. "But not tonight, you have class tomorrow, remember?" He kissed you again before letting you go and making his way towards your window. 

You groaned at him. "Why not just stay the night?" You asked sweetly, following him.

He smiled down at you with adoration. "What, so we both wake up late and you miss your class? Your parents would hate me." Kylo smirked

My mother and father could never hate you, stupid.

"Fine." You sighed, not having the courage to argue.

He leaned down and kissed you again, deeper this time. "I'll see you in the morning, okay?" 

"Okay." You said it so quietly you weren't sure if he even heard it. He ducked out of your window, shutting it quietly. You watched as he climbed down and went to his car in the darkness. Once his tail lights had disappeared at the end of your street, you collapsed onto your bed, allowing your body to succumb to sleep and silence your racing mind. 

Friday afternoon, you sat at the table in your overly warm kitchen, trying to finish some classwork as your mother cooked. The sound of the doorbell made your heart leap out of your chest. You'd been anticipating today all week and while you were hoping it was Kylo at the door, a part of you was also hoping he'd show up late so you wouldn't have to endure getting ignored by him so much.

You heard your dad open the door. "Hi Son, what a pleasant surprise!" You felt your palms get clammy. "Finn! Come down here!" Your father shouted up the stairs. You craned your neck to look around the corner and see who it was, hearing Finn's quick footsteps as he made his way down the steps. 

It was Poe. He stood in the foyer, dressed nicely but still wearing that worn, brown leather jacket he always wore. He held a bouquet of orange and white lilies. You smiled, those were Finn's favorite. 

"Poe!" Finn nearly knocked Poe over with how quickly he hugged him. "You said you wouldn't be back until summer!" 

Poe wrapped his arms around him, laughing. "You know I had to surprise you." He pressed a kiss to Finn's forehead. "Hey, don't crush the flowers, they barely made it on the trip down here." 

Finn pulled away, beaming at him. He took the flowers into his hands before kissing Poe.

You looked at your mother, who was grinning almost as wide as Finn was. "Aren't they just adorable? When you find someone, they better treat you as good as Poe treats Finn." She smiled at you. You gave her a weak smile back and nodded, looking back at the textbook in front of you. 

You couldn't help but wish Kylo would do that. Showing up at your door with flowers, instead of sneaking through your window no later than 11 pm to smoke weed and fuck. It wasn't like your parents wouldn't approve of him... they have always adored Kylo for no reason at all. You attempted to focus on the pages in front of you, it was ridiculous to dwell so deeply on a man you weren't even actually sure was yours.

Kylo showed up fashionably late of course. Your mother beamed at the sight of him standing in the entryway. "Kylo honey, I was worried you weren't going to come. Go ahead and sit." 

He smiled sweetly at her. "You know I wouldn't miss your wonderful cooking for anything." To your surprise, he took the seat right beside you, something he never does when he's over for dinner. 

Other than small glances, Kylo did not acknowledge your presence at the beginning of dinner. He mostly caught up with Poe and talked cars with your father. As you picked at the food on your plate, you felt a large, warm hand rest on your thigh. When you turned your head to look up at Kylo, he seemed unphased, deep in conversation with Poe.

"How is pilot school treating you, man?" Kylo asked, his one hand inching further up your thigh as he took a bite from his fork with the other hand. 

You felt warmth creep across your cheeks as you clenched your thighs together, causing his grip on you to tighten slightly.

He cannot possibly be serious? The fucking dinner table?

You looked at him again, chewing on the inside of your mouth and attempting to relax as much as you could. Kylo glanced down at you briefly, a sly smirk playing at his lips and his pupils large. He turned back to his conversation with Poe as he inched his long fingers underneath your skirt, brushing them against your clothed cunt.

You felt a moan threaten to escape your lips so you pretended to clear your throat, causing Kylo to fight back a grin. He was enjoying this way too much... This was all too much. You quickly grabbed his hand in an attempt to keep him from going any further. Thank god for your mother's tablecloth or everyone would have seen what was happening. 

You weren't sure what it was, maybe the obvious flush on your face, but your mother had noticed something was up. "Is something wrong sweetheart?" 

You tried to think of something, anything reasonable to say but your brain felt so foggy. 

Oh you know, Finn's best friend and so-called 'angel' in your eyes is playing with my cunt under the dinner table but doesn't have the decency to take me out on a date, no biggie.

"I'm fine, it's just really hot in here." You managed to get out, fiddling with the neck of your sweater. Kylo had removed his hand which was now resting on your knee. You sighed, silently thanking the gods of every pantheon you could think of. Moaning in front of your entire family at dinner wasn't exactly ideal. Despite the wetness growing in your panties, you wanted nothing more than to strangle him right there.

The rest of dinner was a blur, and at some point, Finn, Poe, and Kylo had disappeared to the basement, most likely to drink and play video games. This allowed you to sneak away to your room, the noise from the TV downstairs dissipating into a soft murmur as you shut your bedroom door behind you.

-

"FINN! I'm getting obliterated over here and you're on the other side of the map fucking around!" 

"I'm literally almost there calm down!" 

Kylo sat on the couch, listening as Finn and Poe bickered over the game they were playing, loud gunshots and explosions emanating from the television as Poe was, in fact, being obliterated. 

His knee bounced up and down nervously. As much as he enjoyed seeing Poe again and playing video games like old times, all Kylo could think about was seeing you again. 

You had seemed a little off today, did he do something wrong?

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, taking a few minutes to type, delete, and retype his message to you, finally deciding on something lighthearted. 

Kylo: where'd you disappear to kid? you're missing out on some riveting gameplay down here.

The blue glow of his screen illuminated in his hands a few minutes later, and he felt a wave of excitement course through his body when he saw that you had responded. 

♡: i forgot i had a paper i needed to finish.

Kylo frowned at his phone, it was 9:30 pm on a Friday. Surely he had done something to upset you. He sighed before trying to formulate another text to send back to you.

Finn’s voice pulled him from his anxious thoughts. “There are more beers in the garage, I’ll be right back.” Kylo watched as he kissed Poe quickly before sprinting up the stairs.

“So,” Poe started, leaning closer with a grin on his face. “Any new girls or are you still fixated on your best friend's sister?” 

Kylo groaned, knowing this would come up. “That was in middle school, I wouldn’t have told you then had I known now you’d still be bringing this up years later.” He laughed nervously.

“Don’t fucking lie to me, Ren.” Poe laughed. “Elementary, middle, high school… Hell, four months ago before I left, you were talking about her.” He shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth before continuing. “I don’t know why you won’t just go for it. Their parents already love you, I don’t think it’ll be a big deal like you think it will be.”

“You don’t get it Poe, they like me as Finn’s friend. She’s in college and I have nothing ahead of me except a court date for a speeding ticket next week. But if you must know, we’ve been… talking and hanging out for the past month and I’m pretty sure I’ve already made her mad at me so… yeah.” Kylo said tiresomely. 

Poe’s eyes lit up. “What the hell dude? Were you just not going to tell me-”

“We got lucky, there was only three left.” Their conversation was cut short, to Kylo’s relief, by Finn coming down the stairs holding three crisp cans of beer, the condensation leaving a damp mark on the front of his shirt.

“I was actually about to head home.” Kylo said, standing from the old, sunken couch. 

Finn groaned in protest, setting the cans on the water-stained coffee table. “Just stay for another game or two, I’ll let you take my spot.” 

“Yeah, just another game or two.” Poe chimed in, his eyes wide, silently pleading with him to stay in hopes Kylo would tell him more. 

“Sorry guys, I’m just really tired tonight.” Kylo shot Poe a look. “I’m coming back over tomorrow.” With Finn’s back turned momentarily, he took the opportunity to mouth “Drop it.”

“Fine, but no flaking out on us or we will drag you out of your home.” Finn smirked.

Kylo nodded in agreement, laughing slightly, before making his way up the stairs into the kitchen. Your parents had already gone to bed, the refrigerator humming and ticking clock being the only noise that filled the quiet darkness. 

He silently made his way up the stairs to your room, taking a breath once he reached your door before opening it slowly. Once inside, he noticed your empty desk chair and your computer which cast a soft glow on you, lying face first on your bed. You turned your head to look at him.

"Making really great progress on that paper I see." He smirked at you, that stupid smirk you love to hate and hate to love. 

"I'm tired." That was all you could manage to say to him. After his stunt at the dinner table and his general behavior in the past month, you honestly wanted nothing more than for him to just go away.

“What's wrong pretty girl?” Kylo’s voice was soft and sweet like honey. You felt the bed dip beside you and two strong arms wrap around you. “Are you mad at me for dinner? I-” 

You sat straight up to look at him, causing him to stand up from your bed. “Yes! Yes, I’m mad at you for dinner.” You shouted at him, as much as a whisper would allow you to. “You don't even have the decency to come through the front door most times, and when you do, you act like I don't exist. I don't understand you, if I had known I'd just be a fuck buddy to you I wouldn't have given you my virginity in the first place.”

For a few moments, Kylo stared at you. He looked surprised but there was a softness and concern in his eyes. “That isn't all you are to me, I promise… I just... feel like I'm not good enough for you sometimes.” 

You sighed, collapsing back into your pillows. Your capacity to care or argue with him was spent. “I wish you had figured that out before you invited me out onto the roof to smoke with you.” 

The room was quiet for a few moments before you heard the sound of your window opening and closing. He left your house wordlessly, with nothing but dead silence left in his wake. 

You felt hot tears sting at the corners of your eyes, regretting nothing more than ever allowing Kylo to get close to you. 

Asshole.

You hadn't realized you’d fallen asleep until you were woken up to the sound of your phone ringing. Lifting your head from your tear-soaked pillow, you tried to adjust your eyes to the brightness of your phone to see who was calling you so late.

Kylo.

You nearly groaned, debating whether or not it was a better idea to just ignore him. You ultimately decided against your better judgment.

“What do you want?” You spoke sleepily into the phone.

“Just come down here for a moment.”

You got up and looked out your window. Kylo stood in front of your house, leaning against his car with his phone pressed against his face. “No.” You were about to hang up on him before you heard his voice again.

“You can hate me, that's fine. I just want to show you one thing.” There was a quick desperation to his voice. “Please.”

“Fine.” You sighed, hanging up the phone before slipping your shoes on quickly and opening your window. Once on your roof, you had wished you’d grabbed a jacket. The cold, midnight air nipped at your exposed arms, causing you to shiver. 

You climbed down your mother's trellis, taking extra care not to crush any of the vines that would bloom beautifully in the spring. 

You felt the frozen dew from the grass brush across your ankles as you made your way to Kylo’s car and watched as he opened the passenger side door for you. The warmth of the car interior enveloped you as you sat down, and once fully inside, he shut your door before practically running around his car to his side. 

He pulled away from your house with a roar from his engine, and you hoped your parents didn't hear it. 

“Where are we going?” You asked unamused. 

“Somewhere I like to go when I want to be alone... I think you’ll like it.” Kylo said softly, glancing at you once before focusing on the road again. 

You sighed, watching as he pulled onto a backroad. The canopy of trees shaded the car from the moonlight, only the glow of the radio dimly illuminating the interior. 

“You really shouldn't have, you know… Taking me somewhere nice like the forest before murdering me.” You said sarcastically.

Kylo laughed. “Where else would I dispose of the body? Suburbs are much too populated.” He joked, reaching for his cigarettes before offering one to you. 

You tried to hide the smirk that played on your lips, hating how easily he could make you laugh. You accepted the cigarette, watching as the trees cleared to reveal a moonlit lake. 

Kylo put the charger in park, before turning in his seat to face you. “I’m sorry I've treated you the way I have this past month.” He reached up to light your cigarette for you, not breaking eye contact. He ignited his own, taking a few puffs before continuing. “I've always been so scared of not being good enough for you or living up to your family's standards… and now I've allowed my fears to hurt you. But I can assure you you're way more than just a quick fuck to me, I can't apologize enough for making you feel that way.” 

You watched as Kylo reached into his back seat for something, retrieving a stack of small notes and colored paper. He smiled nervously before handing them to you. 

As you flipped through them in silence, you tried to make sense of what you were looking at. In the stack were dozens of notes and cards all in his handwriting, some more recent and some that seemed to have been written by a much younger Kylo. You looked up at him, no longer able to hide the smile on your face. 

“I would write them and always get way too nervous to give them to you… but I kept them anyway.” Kylo said nervously, speaking quickly. “I've liked you since we were children, Poe always-”

You cut him off with a kiss, his warm lips immediately melting into yours as he kissed back with need and desire. Kylo extinguished his cigarette in his car's ashtray before traveling his hands up to hold your face.

After a few minutes, he pulled away, allowing you both to catch your breath. Still cradling your face in his hands, Kylo looked at you with a gaze so soft, that you thought you'd melt into a puddle on the floor of his Charger. 

He spoke softly. “Be my girlfriend. Say you'll be mine and my fears will be far behind me, I promise.” 

You beamed at him, nodding quickly. “I'm yours.”

Kylo’s lips connected with yours once again and he kissed you feverishly. He reached down to fiddle with something before his seat extended back with a dull thump. Without ever breaking the kiss, Kylo pulled you with him to the backseat, laying you down so he was hovering above you. 

You quickly fumbled with his belt, trying to blindly undo the clasp. He brushed your hands away, kissing his way down your now trembling body and stopping just above the waistband of your pants. Hooking his fingers into them, he quickly and expertly removed both your pants and underwear in one go, exposing your bare cunt to the cool air of his car. You watched as he threw your clothes somewhere into the dark void that was the front seat. 

You whined, pushing your thighs together for warmth and friction, which Kylo promptly used his strong hands to open again. “Not so fast, my little star. I wanna take my time with you tonight.” He smirked up at you. 

Half-kneeling on the floorboard of the car, Kylo peppered kisses up and down your inner thigh, causing you to shiver in his grasp. After what felt like eons of teasing, he finally placed a kiss just below your pubic bone before licking a stripe up your slit. 

You moaned, tangling your fingers into his long, dark locks as he began to feast on you. Your body felt full of electricity as if you were going to spark and short circuit at any moment. 

He was unrelenting with his tongue, and you felt yourself nearing your climax. “Kylo!” You whined desperately. 

“Hm? What is it, pretty girl?” He mumbled against you, not faltering once in his attack on your now very sensitive clit. 

“You’re g-gonna make me cum already, stop.” You breathed out. 

You could feel him smirk against your heat. “That's fine. Go ahead, cum for me.” He hummed.

Your head felt light and your body electric as you came, your vision blurring as you rode your high on his tongue. You only noticed he had stopped when you came to and saw him wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, his dark hair messy and pupils blown with lust. 

“You taste so fucking good.” He breathed as he undid his belt, “I can't believe I waited a month to do that.” 

Laughing weakly, your head still fuzzy from your high, you admired him as he pulled his t-shirt over his head, exposing his pale chest littered with beauty marks. He looked so angelic the way the moon behind him cast his frame in an almost halo-like glow. You watched as he freed his erect cock from the tight confines of his jeans. 

Kylo kissed you as he lined himself up with your entrance, pausing momentarily to hold the side of your face in his hand and smile at you with adoration. “I wish you could see how pretty you look right now… How pretty you always look.”

You whined, still unable to form a coherent sentence and wrapping your arms around his broad frame. You felt him push his cock inside you slowly, and he watched as your eyes rolled back into your skull in pleasure. 

You moaned into the crook of his neck as he began to move, thrusting into you gently. His hand traveled up your shirt to cup your breast while he used the other to keep the back of your head from hitting the door handle. 

Kylo’s pace quickened, hitting that sensitive bundle of nerves deep inside you with every thrust. “You’re gonna m-make me cum again, you f-feel too good.” You breathed.

“I’m not gonna stop you, baby. Cum on my cock as many times as you need.” He smiled down at you, slightly out of breath as he neared his own climax. 

You came undone beneath him for the second time that night, loudly moaning his name and whatever expletives your brain thought of first, not having to worry about the possibility of waking your entire family as you both bathed in the moonlight that slipped through the now foggy windows of Kylo’s Charger. 

“Hm- Fuck I’m gonna cum.” Kylo moaned into your ear. 

“Please cum in m-me. I love you.” You whined. Your mind was so foggy from cumming twice that you had lost your inhibition completely and it took you a moment to realize what you just said to him.

You didn’t have much time, however, to worry about it for too long as Kylo let out a moan you had never heard from him before, a sound of need and desperation. “Fuck- Fuck! I love you too.”  He came to a halt deep inside you, before filling you with his cum. 

He breathed heavily on top of you, staring down at you with shock and adoration. “I love you too.” He repeated, completely out of breath. When he pulled out, you felt his cum drip down your thigh as he quickly retrieved his shirt from the darkness of the floorboard to clean you up. 

Kylo peppered kisses up and down your body before pulling you into his lap to hold you in his arms, and you watched as he lazily drew a heart in the condensation that had collected on the window. You smiled and rested your head on his shoulder, thinking only of how comfortable you felt in his presence. 

You didn’t get home until 4 am and slept through most of the morning. You awoke to your father yelling at you from downstairs saying something about how there was somebody there to see you. Confused and still tired, you wiped the sleep out of your eyes as you made your way to the stairs. 

You stopped in your tracks at the top of the steps. Kylo standing in your foyer waiting for you was the last thing you expected. He had cleaned up nicely, trading his usual rotation of black band tees for a nice, dark button-up, and in his hands he held a bouquet of pink lilies. He smiled nervously up at you.

“Hi?” You beamed at him, laughing slightly.

“Hi,” Kylo smirked, looking down the hall towards the kitchen, where your dad had disappeared to, before continuing in a lower tone only you could hear. “I thought I’d try the front door this time.”

[devildom-moss]

November poll story - pt. 2

Denial - Mephistopheles

(Mephistopheles x gn!MC)

(NSFW) (sub!Mephistopheles / dom!MC) (NSFW tags: denial; edging; ruined orgasm; no penetration; no orgasm; handjob; public why have I developed such an intense exhibitionist/risk of getting caught headcanon for him?; partially clothed Mephi, fully clothed reader; "good boy" for Mephisto he's such a good boy and I'll die on that hill)

(other tags: slight jealousy, slight angst, insecurity)

Word Count: +2,900

“Can I borrow you in the newspaper room, MC?” Mephisto nudged his way into your conversation with Satan about that mystery novel he had lent you last month.

“Not right now,” you dismissed him.

“I only need a few minutes of your time,” Mephisto insisted.

“But –”

“Go ahead,” Satan sighed, assuming you were declining on his behalf. “We can continue this later.”

“Excellent.” Mephisto placed a firm hand on your back and quickly pushed you towards the newspaper room as if he had been waiting for Satan’s approval to steal you away. Of course, that was because Mephisto assumed you wanted to go with him – and usually you did.

The second Mephisto stepped foot into the empty newspaper room, he shut the door and pushed your back against it. His lips pressed to yours in hungry, ravenous kisses. Those warm, gloved hands took hold of you by the back of your neck as he pushed his tongue into your mouth. A low growl left him, vibrating through you. The need was tangible. You could taste how much he craved you.

Yet, you pushed the starved demon back. Mephisto stared at you, breath ragged and eyes bewildered. “Again?”

You could hardly keep track of the number of times you had given Mephisto the slip over the last few weeks. If you had to take a guess, perhaps eight. Every time Mephisto tried to pull you into an empty classroom or the newspaper room when he knew no one would be there, you either refused to go with him or you pushed him away as quickly as he had gotten his hands and lips on you. It had grown frustrating. Just last month, you had five different secret rendezvouses throughout the campus – with no complaints, Mephisto would add. Not all of them ending in sex, but it was at least enough to satisfy his growing desire for you. Now, you scarcely let him kiss you before you provided a half-baked excuse as to why you needed to leave.

“I need to meet Solomon for –” you started with another excuse, trying to maneuver out of his grasp.

“No.” Mephisto boxed you in against the door, his arms planted firmly on either side of your body.

“Isn’t this a bit cliché: trapping me against the door?” You rolled your eyes at him.

“What’s up with you?” Mephisto huffed and inched closer to your face, searching your eyes for anything that would explain your sudden withdrawal.

~

The answer he was searching for was that this was, for the most part, a punishment of his own making. Three weeks ago, you overheard a conversation between Lucifer, Diavolo, Barbatos, and Mephisto. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but you had a report to drop off, and they were all chatting in the student council room when you heard your name leave Diavolo’s mouth.

“Are you friends with MC already, Mephistopheles?” Diavolo asked.

“I beg your pardon, My Lord?” Mephisto sounded like he had been caught off guard. You knew you shouldn’t have been listening from the hallway, but you were equal parts anxious, curious, and hoping not to embarrass anyone by showing up right as they were talking about you.

“You seem to have taken a liking to them, am I wrong?”

“I have to agree, Young Master,” Barbatos concurred. “I’ve spotted you two together on multiple occasions, Mephistopheles. Certainly, you must be on friendly terms by now.”

“Is that so?” Diavolo mused. “Have you noticed anything, Lucifer?”

“MC has not mentioned Mephisto once in my presence, although I have seen them together. Perhaps it’s one-sided, then.”

“I have absolutely no interest in that human!” Mephisto interjected – loud and adamant.

Your heart sank when those words left his mouth. Although you couldn’t fault him for trying to keep the details of your relationship a secret, there was something harsh and cruel about his denial. It was so extreme. He wouldn’t even say your name. He had reduced you down to “that human.”

“Oh?” Diavolo questioned him. “That’s a shame. I was hoping you would get along.”

“We aren’t enemies, My Lord!” Mephisto tried to course-correct. “We just aren’t that friendly, is all.”

You took a deep breath before entering the council room.

“Ah, MC! What brings you in?” Diavolo greeted you. At that, Mephisto turned to stare, his face flushed with shame and guilt.

~

“Are you suddenly worried about doing this in public? I’ve been careful to lock the doors. Or,” Mephisto paused self-consciously, “do you not want me anymore? Is that why you won’t touch me?”

“Is that really what you think?” You sighed and crossed your arms. You might as well be honest. “How would you react if someone asked how I felt about you, and I told them I had no interest in ‘that demon?’ That wouldn’t hurt you?”

Mephisto’s eyes widened. He had completely forgotten about that incident – after a few days of embarrassment that kept him up at night, of course. He was mortified by your sudden arrival at the time, as if your name alone could summon you, but he never imagined you had heard what he said – although seeing you had filled him with instant regret. Unfortunately, when that guilt and regret came rushing back, Mephisto became defensive. “What am I supposed to say? ‘Hey, Lucifer. That human you’re all so fond of, well, I like them too now. Hope you enjoy more competition for their affection.’”

“That sounds exactly like something you would say.”

“And when has competing with Lucifer ever worked out for me, hm?” Mephisto ran his hand through his hair. “So, what, I tell him I want you, so he sinks his fucking claws in and takes you away from me? He hates to lose.”

“Fuck you.” His explanation irritated you. You understood that he was insecure, especially when Lucifer was involved, but Mephisto owed you more trust than that. By now, you thought you had proved that your feelings were not as fickle as he assumed them to be.

“Excuse me?” Mephisto furrowed his brows, surprised at your annoyance.

“Fuck. You,” you repeated.

Mephisto scoffed. “Yeah, that’s what I’ve been trying to get you to do for weeks.”

“Then get undressed.” You looked him up and down. “Now.”

“Really?” Enthusiasm bubbled up to the surface, and a grin bloomed on Mephisto’s face.

Mephisto yanked his jacket off and threw it over a nearby desk. His gloves, tie, and shirt quickly followed. Even your irritation with him couldn’t diminish the excitement you felt when watching him strip. Your resolution to avoid him had left you frustrated and wanting, too. Still, your lust didn’t nullify your anger, either.

When Mephisto put his hand on the side of your neck and tried to pull you in for a kiss, you pushed back on his bare chest to stop him. He was about to question your continued rejection of his advances when you leaned in to bite his neck. A soft whimper escaped him. With one hand still on your neck, Mephisto used the other to try to remove your jacket. His already clumsy efforts came to a halt when you traced over the newly-formed mark with your tongue and squeezed his upper thigh in your hand, massaging small circles into his leg with your thumb. Mephisto let out a soft, pleased moan and tightened his grip on your clothes.

You chuckled, tickling his neck with your breath. Your hand slid further up until you were palming him through his pants. Mephisto gasped and let go of your neck only to bury his face into your shoulder.

“Mm, fuck. I forgot how good your touch feels,” Mephisto whispered shakily against your skin. His stomach flexed as pleasure rose in him.

You kissed from his neck, along his collarbone, and down his chest, leaving Mephisto’s flushed face exposed to the empty room. The hand that clung to your shirt let go to hold the back of your head as you peppered his chest with kisses and soft licks. When you finally focused your attention on one of his nipples, biting it gently before sucking and swirling your tongue around it, the combined pleasure and anticipation left Mephisto whining. His free hand shot up over his mouth to muffle the sound.

Mephisto had always made a decent attempt to keep the noise down when you fooled around in public, despite being so noisy in bed. He enjoyed the risk, but he was usually so careful. You gave him one more soft lick before you pulled back slightly to look up at him. The back of his hand was pressed firmly against his lips, and his eyes were half lidded – with his long lashes further obscuring his eyes as he stared at you in a lust-filled daze. A deep blush stained his cheeks and ears.

“Are you more sensitive than usual?” you teased, feeling a twitch beneath your palm.

“It’s been a while. I’m pent up.” Mephisto admitted sheepishly. He pulled his hand away from his face, revealing a slick spot of drool on his skin.

Straightening your back, you leaned close to whisper in his ear: “good.”

You rubbed over his bulge a few more times before finally undoing his pants, dropping them around his thighs, and taking his cock out. He was so hard and had already started leaking precum into his underwear. Mephisto shivered and gasped when you used his precum to lube up your hand and tease his tip. Within a few strokes, Mephisto had made enough of a mess that you could forgo alternate forms of lube.

Watching his face twist in pleasure while he bit his lip, trying to hold his moans back, you pumped Mephisto’s cock and coated his entire length with his own slick fluids. His breath grew shallow, and the moans began to escape in short, muffled whines like the initial cracks in a dam. Mephisto’s legs trembled under him, threatening to give out. You used your free hand to support his back, but it wasn’t quite enough.

“Sit on the desk behind you,” you demanded, letting go of his dick to place your hand firmly above his pelvis and push him back towards the edge of the desk.

“But it’s not mine,” he protested weakly. When had that ever stopped him before? Although, now that you thought about it, whenever you fucked in the newspaper room, it was usually up against a wall when his body could handle it, or at his own desk. It was almost cute that he respected other members of the newspaper club enough to try not to make a mess on their desks.

“Do it anyway,” you whispered in his ear. “Or would you rather hold onto your cane instead of me?”

You could have supported him more, or dragged him over to his desk, but you wanted to push him – test his desperation. You removed your hand from his back just long enough to carefully sweep any papers and obstructions to the side so Mephisto could sit comfortably. He shook his head and sat up on the desk with a soft thud.

“Good boy,” you cooed and continued to stroke him. Mephisto moaned and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you even closer. He unraveled just as quickly as before. Restrained whimpers echoed in your ear.

“I’m so close,” he panted. You slid your hand off him, earning an immediate whine. “W-wait. Why did you stop?”

“Why did you assume Lucifer could just take me away from you?” you questioned him. Your hand slid along his length, in slow, teasing movements. Mephisto throbbed at your touch.

“I, ah –!” You cut him off by sinking your teeth into his neck, causing him to writhe and arch his back. His yelp gave way to a guttural growl. “Fuck.”

“Well?” You licked over the bite mark.

“He’s just – he does that.”

“Mephisto,” you purred into his ear and gently scratched your nails down his chest. “Don’t I have any say in what happens?”

Once again, you started to tease Mephisto, stroking him at an achingly slow pace. Mephisto begged, “Faster. . . please?”

“Answer me.”

“I didn’t mean it that way.” Mephisto rolled his head back and groaned with no regard for anyone who could be walking nearby.

“Didn’t mean what?” You milked him for a proper answer.

“That your feelings don’t matter,” he admitted. You rewarded his acknowledgement by rubbing him faster. “Mm, yes. Please. Like that, don’t stop.”

“Then why’d you say it?” You slowed your pace down again, earning a whimper. Mephisto bucked his hips up to meet your hand, desperate for more.

“I –” he whined, still humping against your hand. “I’m afraid.”

The confession took you by surprise. When you pulled away, you noticed frustrated tears running down Mephisto’s cheek. His panting was labored and shaky. He was distraught. Using both of your hands, you firmly pressed his thighs into the desk.

“Of what?” you asked, watching the residual pleasure on his face give way to shame.

“I can’t. . .”

“Tell me.” You let go of one of his thighs to slowly rub his tip again. A sharp inhale preceded another muffled moan. He wasn’t trying to hold back his moan this time, though; Mephisto was trying to keep the answer bottled up in his chest. The glint of concern in your eyes and the continued stimulation was forcing him open.

“I don’t know why you want me. I don’t understand you. If I just – ahh, I’m gonna –” Mephisto interrupted his confession to warn you, lolling his head back and moaning. You stopped touching him again. Although he had expected it, Mephisto still groaned at yet another ruined orgasm.

“Finish what you were saying first.”

“If I – if I convince myself that it’s out of your control, then I won’t feel so bad when you decide to leave me – or stop having sex with me or don’t want to be around me anymore.”

You felt bad for him – not because it was stupid or pathetic to be worried about, but because it made sense. It was one thing to lose your partner because some bastard had the power and charm to steal people away. It was decidedly worse to know they left you because they just didn’t want you enough anymore. For the first time in weeks, you brought your lips to Mephisto’s and kissed him deeply until he was breathless. All the while, you thumbed his tip, teasing him just enough to keep him at the edge. Suddenly, you pulled away from him.

“Finish yourself off.” You kissed his cheek. “Or don’t.”

“Why?” Mephisto protested. “I told you the truth.”

“You told me that you think I’ll stop wanting you. So let me tell you something, too.” You leaned in, nearly pressing your lips to the side of his neck. “I want you so much. I can barely contain myself. I want you right now. I’ll want you tomorrow. I’ll want you for the foreseeable future. Can you trust in that much for now?”

“If you want me, then why won’t you finish me off?” It was humiliating for Mephisto, being so afraid to lose you, desperate, and hard all at once.

“I can want you without touching you. Actually, I changed my mind.” You walked over to Mephisto’s desk and pulled out the pack of wet wipes that you knew he kept in his bottom drawer. You wiped your hands off – still sticky with precum – and grabbed a few more wipes for Mephisto before returning to his side and handing them to him. “Don’t touch yourself. Stay like that – all hard and needy and desperate – for the rest of the day. I’ll walk you home later.”

A smile snuck up on Mephisto’s face, understanding your proposition. He agreed, “Okay, I’ll wait. But could you stay with me while I calm down?”

Confused, you studied his face. He was flustered and his eyes were damp with tears. Even his hair was a mess. “Why? I’m not going to change my mind and help you finish.”

“I know,” Mephisto chuckled. “I just want you to stay by my side for a little while. Is that okay?”

“Of course it is.” You kissed his cheek, wiping away the salt residue from his tears, leaving an interrupted fossil of a stream. You took one of the spare wipes from his hand and brushed it over his cheek. “And Mephisto? I’m really sorry that I made you think I didn’t want you. I avoided you because I was upset, and I wasn’t ready to talk about it – I didn’t know how the conversation would go, and I was worried it would only hurt. I should have said something, even if it was just that I was hurt and not ready to talk to you. I’ll try to do better next time. Is that okay?”

“It’s fine. You know, you play therapist too much for those brothers.” Mephisto laughed and nuzzled into your neck. He made no moves to get cleaned up and dressed yet, but he found the energy to tease you. “Please tell me orgasm denial and edging aren’t a part of your regular conflict resolution process.”

“You’re so cute,” you teased back, only exacerbating his blush and making his cock twitch. Dammit. He was so tempting, and he wasn’t even trying. You sighed, recommitting to wait until you got him home. With a gentle touch, you fixed his hair for him.

“Thank you, MC.” Mephisto grinned shyly. He still hadn’t calmed down completely, though.

As if you intended to test your resolve, you gave him another sweet, tender kiss. “You can thank me later.”

(November poll story pt. 1 - Lucifer version)

A/N: To be honest, I don't really know how I feel about this one. Hmm, but at least I can get back to requests after this, woo~ Don't forget that December's post poll is up and active for the first week of the month. While I do have opinions and preference, whatever happens is up to y'all. I never vote or look at the results until it's over, so I just wait around, hoping to be pleasantly surprised. As I've mentioned, this blog turns one later this month, so I'll do a post about that in a few days, so please look forward to it.

[stellayuta]

Love on The Grid - Formula 1 AU! Yuta Okkotsu - Pt 3.

Your likes, comments and reblogs really encourage me to write more! So do interact with this post and let me know your thoughts 🧡

PART 1 ||| PART 2

synopsis: One-night stands were nothing but a necessary painkiller for your inability to cross paths with true love. Your most recent find at a Vegas Club was no different. He was boring, obedient, SLOW! You leave him high and hanging hoping you'd never see him again until you find yourself gawking at a supersized billboard of him on a Vegas highway with the title 'LEGEND RETURNS TO VEGAS'.

genre: some smut and lots of angst

content: 18+ only. Formula one driver! Yuta x f! reader, all sorts of sexy stuff (fingering, oral, orgasm denial), swearing, angsty elements, cheating and discussion of mental health <3

word count: 5.2k

a/n: can't stop writing this lmao. here's part 3. Also, I noticed I have some trouble writing second person pov and keep switching to first so pls excuse any grammatic discrepancies.

WARNING: always use protection!

The chilly November air is ruthless as it bites your exposed skin. You had an ambitious plan for the night with your flashy dress, but all of it fell apart, leaving you alone and miserable for the second time in your life. Maybe it's the cold, but you feel your nose leaking - or maybe it's your uncontrollable crying that's causing that.

"Oh my god, stop crying!" you snap at yourself. This is pathetic. Your friends will not be happy with this advancement. You couldn't even get Noritoshi his darned autograph.

You seemed to have picked the back exit of the casino fortunately because you can still hear camera shutters going off in a distance. There is nothing in the back except a small, marble fountain with a weak stream of water. You do notice a very flashy, bright red car parked near it though, very far from the parking lot which is more towards the front of the casino. You look at in awe, how it casts a pinkish-red glow on the white marble around it - almost looks like it's made of rubies.

"Like my ride?" a haughty voice grabs your attention, and you haphazardly rub at your eyes before looking up. It's a tall, slender man in a fiery red suit and black accents walking towards you. You take note of his snowy white tresses and crystaline blue eyes. You feel like you've seen him somewhere before? Is he perhaps an actor or a supermodel?

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stare at your car." You apologize to the man in case he had plans of accusing you of an attempted grand theft auto.

"Ah, don't worry about it." He says, waving his hand dismissively, "These cars are meant to be stared at, otherwise what's this point."

The comment makes you smile at bit as you hug yourself a little to get some relief from the cold.

"So?" He begins, twirling his keys on his long index finger. "What are you doing out here? Saw you last with Okkotsu? You his chick?" He interrogates you.

"I just came out for some fresh air, I don't quite like crowded spaces." You tell him, evading his question.

"No one hates glamor." The man says, fashioning a pair of circular sunglasses from his jacket pocket and putting them on. "Especially not formula one glamor. The richest of the riches. The most esteemed parties, crowd. What is it that really irked you?"

You frown at him. "Why do you believe everyone is interested in that kind of life? Do you think one kind find genuineness in life when your environment is constantly this superficial?" Maybe you spoke too much but the man seems intrigued.

"So Okkotsu bagged a smart chick. Good for him." He teases but you are not in the mood for any of it. "I am not his chick. We are friends. Not anymore probably. But don't make assumptions." you snap at the guy.

"Ah, calm down, tiger..." He says, putting his hands up and sitting up on the hood of his car. "Yuta doesn't just bring any chick along with him to places. I thought the two of you looked nice together!"

"He doesn't?" you ask. You feel a terrible ember of hope inside of you but want to immediately douse it. The strange man lets out a manic laugh.

"What? Did you think he was some Casanova, getting into everyone's pants. Do you even know anything about him?" he asks you mockingly and you feel a blush of embarrassment creep onto your cheeks. "He's not like the rest of us - forever on the search for love, and getting played by women who want us for the fame." He says, gazing at the sky. It is quite pretty out here today, a starry night.

You don't know for sure if this guy would know anything, but it seems like he would so, you can't help but ask him.

"What's going on between Yuta and that woman with the mole?" you ask, not making eye contact with the man. He looks at you with narrowed eyes.

"Who? Rika?"

"Yes, her."

"Oh yeah, they dated. For a year maybe? Yuta thinks they were in love, but I disagree. Yuta would think he's in love with anyone as long as they love him. He's pretty stupid I must say." The last part brings a smile to your face. "What happened between them?" you prod.

"Hmm, aren't you curious, as a friend?" He sticks his tongue out at you but continues on before you can protest.

"Well turns out, Rika loved how popular he was. Ad campaigns, parties, press tours, social media. Rika loves to be talked about. And with Yuta, she'd be as notorious as him. That was when Yuta was at the peak of his career. He hasn't been so well this year and Rika, finding that she had no screen-time anymore, decided it wasn't worth being linked to Yuta anymore." He says, sighing. You furrow your brows at this reveal.

"And so, as all fake things must come to an end, she asked for the breakup and Yuta had to comply. Do you know why he let her go?" Gojo asks you and you shrug your shoulders.

"Because he felt he wasn't deserving of being her boyfriend if he can't even be famous and publicly liked enough to be known as her boyfriend. He thought she deserves better."

You and the man exchange a glance, knowingly fully well that no man would think this way. Yuta was truly, genuinely too stupidly kind for his own good.

"W-why is he still in contact with her then?" you ask. Now this came from a place of selfishness. You didn't mind that Yuta had a past, but you didn't want her around him anymore. Regardless of whether you and Yuta had anything going or not.

"Well, they got to know each other because she is his personal manager. He didn't want to risk her livelihood by firing her." Gojo says.

"Well not anymore." a third voice joins the two of you as you turn around to see a livid Yuta close the door behind him and walk towards you. His hair is now falling onto his head, lock by lock, ruining his neat hairdo but very much reminding you of his fucked-out look from the other night. He has discarded his grey tuxedo jacket for good. He stands in between you and the white-haired man, seemingly trying to shield you from him. "I got rid of her for good. Now, what are you doing here, Gojo?"

Gojo. Now you get it. The first Ferrari driver who crashed out today. The question makes Gojo give Yuta a half smirk.

"Bad timing, Okkotsu. I was just about to ask this pretty lady here for a ride in my Ferrari. Third-wheel much?"

"Well, that won't be necessary." Yuta declares, pulling you in by the waist. "My Lambo's faster and Y/N prefers the better driver."

Yuta's blatant show of talent supremacy makes your mouth pop open in sheer admiration for a full two seconds.

"See you around..." Yuta says, pulling you along and not waiting for Gojo's reply.

Before the two of you can get to the car though, he finds a crevice between two pillars to push you into.

"I am apologizing again. One last time. You won't see the likes of her again." He says, very seriously, his spiky dark hair brushing the top of your forehead due to his proximity to you. You stare at his lips mindlessly, not knowing what to say. Why would he go this far for you?

"I don't think anybody in your world wants to see you with me and, she seems like she is still in love with you, Yuta..." You admit more to yourself than to him, cupping his face in your quivering hands. His expression is very honest as if he wants to shout it out to you with every cell of his body.

"She can go to hell. So can all of them." It is but a gentle whisper and he waits merely a second for your nodded consent before he presses his lips onto yours and your legs turn to jelly. You take fistfuls of his black shirt into your hands for support as you wrap your arms around him, melting, drowning into the kiss without any hope of surfacing. His hands run up and down your torso, trying to touch as much as body as possible before deciding to settle one hand on your ass and the other holding your chin to face you as he breaks the kiss to take a breath.

The two of you huff, separating yet still connected by a slimy string of your salivas. The weather doesn't seem chilly anymore as you feel his marble-like, wet back from under his soaked shirt. You also find your nipples poking out of your dress painfully, your collar bones shining with sweat as Yuta notices them and swoops right in to start kissing them.

"We'll be papped in this position, dummy." You slap Yuta's back, looking around with haste to see if you had peeping company.

"Don't care," he mumbles, groaning while he peppers the top half of your chest and your cleavage with kisses.

"I care!" You tell him, trying to yank him off of you. "I don't want to be on the gossip pages of a tabloid, making out with you."

He looks up, his dark blue eyes feral. "My car has tinted windows. No flash would penetrate."

You follow his stream of thought to realize what he's saying and bite your lip. You nod at him to give him the green signal to take you back to his car, parked out at the front where the paparazzi is parked too.

But it is not near enough.

You are clinging on to his muscular arm as you walk and feeling the weight of his arm right between your breasts is driving you insane.

Thunder makes a surprise appearance as a previously clear sky starts collecting an army of angry, dark clouds, illuminated by a shameless full moon. It's about to rain down on you two people, whose passion knows no bounds.

"Wait, Yuta-" you make him stop halfway and bring down his face to kiss him yet again. You run your finger along his jawline, admiring how perfect its edges are and occupy your hand with grabbing his hair. You take a small break to mumble truthfully against his puffed-up lips- "I couldn't wait till the car..."

That is enough motivation for Yuta to pick you up in his arms like a doll and carry you the rest of the way to the car, with your legs wrapped around his waist and your tongue fighting his for dominance. Fortunately, it seems the paparazzi had deserted the front area of the casino and you hear them in a distance yelling out "gojo" and "ferrari". So it was him. Now you owe him one. Thanks to that, you're able to manage getting into Yuta's sexy black lambo pretty discreetly.

This is the first time you get to properly see the car and with its teal interior and white lightwork, it truly looks like an engineering masterclass. Somehow your brain wires back to Toji driving this car around smoothly through the streets of Vegas and you turn to Yuta who's already made himself comfortable in the driver's seat.

He looks at you with yearning but it's unsafe to drive under the influence of lust.

You stare at him though till he raises his brow.

"Are you sure you can drive the car, I mean, it's an expensive car." you say before you realize what's coming out your mouth.

Yuta makes the most interesting expression possible.

"Remind me whose car this is?"

"Yours?"

"Remind me what I do for a living...?"

".... drive cars really fast...?"

Okay that was stupid on your part. It's just out of Toji's smooth, more practiced hands and into Yuta's younger, more energetic hands - you didn't know what to think. You were now going to witness Yuta Okkotsu in his true element - doing the thing he was born to pioneer.

Yuta revs the engine and pulls the car out of its spot and out of the premises smoother than buttery silk. He gets on to the road and soon enough we accelerate to a comfortable pace.

You admire how perfectly this car moves, like a black cat prowling through the roads.

Once Yuta hits the highways though, he assaults the gas pedal.

"Ahhhh!!!" you yelp, feeling the air hit your face with the windows down. It feels like literally being slapped by the wind. This earns a hearty laugh from Yuta.

"You should sit in one of our race cars, this is nothing!" he yells, rolling down his window too.

Since it is the wee hours of the night, the highway is practically empty, and you watch Yuta own the road like he was meant to rule it.

"Woo-hoo-hooooo!!!!" You scream out again, this time, cautiously putting your head out the window. You watch the buildings and the shimmering rows of cars running on the local streets pass by at a distance. Your hair finds its own rhythm, flying with the wind.

When you finally get off the highway, the both of you roll up the windows and relax into your seats. You feel wide awake now, more than you've ever been before.

"That was the best!" you tell Yuta, still high on adrenaline.

"You're welcome..." he says coolly.

"Where are we going?"

"On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you like stars?" Yuta turns to you, smiling, probably already knowing your answer by how your eyes begin to twinkle just like those stars he mentioned.

****

The car finds itself right at home by the edge of a cliff as Yuta helps you out of the car and locks hands with you. It is quite windy up here too and the cliff overlooks the Vegas City, the view is mind-blowing.

But nothing can beat the expanse of the universe that is showing you a glimpse of itself in the night sky. You stand there looking up at the myriads of colors and glitter decorating the inky black canvas of the night. You spot at least 5 shooting stars in 30 seconds.

"Come here." Yuta calls out to you, and you turn around to see that he has laid out a fluffy blanket on the hood of his car and has another one in his hand for you two to use, perhaps.

You approach the car skeptically and ask Yuta if it can handle the weight.

"It can handle much more." He comments, urging you to join him on the hood of the car. The two of you maintain a good distance between you on the hood, but you so want to touch him right now. The sparkling sky finds its home in Yuta's dark, spectating eyes too and you can't help but look at him with... l-love?

For a while the two of you just sit there, enjoying the view and saying nothing. The silence isn't awkward this time but calming, very warm. You bring your knees closer to your chest. Without club alcohol, you feel shy now, of all times to be shy.

The last strand of your patience snaps though when you put your hand down on the hand and accidentally brush fingers with him.

The two of you exchange a look and you are not sure what's stopping you two? Dignity? Qualms? To hell with all of that.

"Stop looking at me..." you whisper at him, slowly sliding towards him, across the hood and climbing on top of him, right on his crotch, making him lay back down on the hood. He, however, does not want to stop looking at you like he wants to drink you up,

"Look anywhere else!" you gasp, placing your palms face down on his chest and yet, he won't break eye contact at all. He is studying you now, up and down, eyes stopping a second too long on the cleavage out for display, your lush thighs around his hips.

"Why, is it bothering you? I'm not going to look away." He declares, propping himself up on the hood and running his hands up and down your sides. The roughness of his hands that is evident even through the dress makes you bite you lip and breath out harshly. You are now practically sitting in his lap.

"Usually..." He continues, bringing his lips dangerously close to yours, brushing them against yours as you breathe in his heady scent.

"People have a thing for doing this stuff inside the car." His tongue slides across your bottom lip and he moves to bite your earlobe.

"Yet, here we are..." he comes back to your lips, nose brushing against yours as his hand snakes up your side to hold your neck gently. "Right out in the open... inviting anyone to see, am I right, Y/N?"

You look at him with pleading eyes and move in to kiss him but he uses his other hand to hold you by your hair. He doesn't hurt you but pulls with enough pressure to keep the two of you apart.

"I want to touch you..." you confess. What is his problem, this jerk? The only thing he is accomplishing by delaying this is making your heart race and making your bottom wet.

"Would you have gone with Gojo if he really invited you out for a ride?" He asks, his eyes darkening further while his fingers stay intertwined in your hair. Oh, now you see. He is the territorial type. Well, you can't judge him, so are you. But two can play at this game.

"Well, he was quite hot." you lie with a convincing smile, pretending to dream of some attractive version of Gojo that does not exist in your brain. Sure, he is handsome - but, Yuta made you suck him off in record time, that's something. Even Megumi took a month.

Yuta must believe what you say because his grip in your hair tightens ever so slightly.

"What did you talk about?" He asks, cocking his head to the side as he uses his free hand to slide it down your back and raise your skirt up. He must be pleased to find his target already soaking wet and you barely control a squeal when he plunges two fingers in at torturously slow pace. You have wanted him for so long though, that you begin to lose focus and he lightly tugs at your hair.

"Go on, what did you talk about?" he demands in a lower voice.

"Huh, oh yes." you try to continue your farce. "H-he was telling me how good I look. He told me he's a good ride." you grin at Yuta and he curves his fingers upward into your womanhood to finally earn a disgruntled moan from you.

"You riding him? Don't make me laugh." He says, a twisted smile forming on his face that only makes you want to prod him more.

"Why not?" you push. "He's tall, has a majestic body. He looks like he's got a lot of endurance. He looks like h-he'd b-be." With every compliment you direct towards Gojo, Yuta's pace increases as he assaults your sensitive spot.

"He what?"

"H-h-he... it would be fun to r-ride-" before you can finish your sentence though you can already feel a balloon of pleasure inflating rapidly inside your nether regions. You were about to cum any second now.

But just as you are about to go over the peak, Yuta pulls out his fingers without warning. Your brows furrow together, and you look at Yuta with a face so shocked, he almost wants to laugh.

"What happened, baby?" He asks, pushing his face into your cleavage. "Go on... tell me." he says, the vibration of his voice making your nipples erect.

"Why'd you stop?" you ask him, still unable to fully recover from the loss of your orgasm.

"That's your punishment for lying about Gojo."

"Yuta that's unfair!" you grab a bunch of his hair and hug him tight, making his nose press between the valley of your breasts.

"Mhmm..." he replies lazily. "I can give you a chance to make it up to me though." He kisses your nipple through the fabric of your dress and looks up at you. He doesn't need a nod to know that you are up for his challenge. He helps you shimmy yourself out of that flimsy dress and it lays discarded on the top of the car. Now you are butt naked in the middle of nowhere, atop Yuta's car. The thrill of it sends a shiver down your spine and certainly a shiver up your puss.

Yuta makes you get on your knees on top of the hood, facing the windshield. The cold touch of the glass on your squished breasts makes you sensitive and ticklish. He pokes your ass. "Up!"

At once, you raise your bottom for him to feast his eyes on. A leaky mess you are, glossy liquid covering your inner thigh and the opening to your womanhood. Yuta doesn't waste too much time gawking at it though and gets straight to business.

He licks one strip up your slit to get you started as you moan out. "Yes, that's your task. You only get to come today, if you are loud enough."

"What if someone comes running to find us?" you ask, turning around only to see Yuta raise a brow. "Isn't that what you want?"

You hate that he is right. This is exactly what you want. It's a massive, massive turn on for you, the risk of being seen. How does he know though?

You merely nod at him and lay your face back down on the glass as he continues to alternate between licking your nether lips and inserting his tongue into your hole. With each move, you are unable to hold you moans and whimpers that echo away in the night.

Soon, you feel another tingle of a bubbling orgasm and your moans turn to lower groans which makes Yuta stop again.

"Yuta, I swear to fucking god!" you scream out.

"Yes, keep that volume up!" Yuta grabs a hold of your ass and takes a deep dive into your crevice, picking up a lot of speed as he goes in and out with tongue and using two of his fingers to prod at your clit.

"Ah! Oh my goodness!" you shriek, moaning louder than ever, your breasts hitting the windshield with every time he thrusts his face into your heat.

"I-I'm cum-" this time, you are able to go over, losing your mind in the process, going cross eyed as Yuta doesn't slow down at all.

He doesn't stop until minutes later when your orgasm has subsided, and you are speechless from overstimulation. When he retracts you simply slump down the windshield and lay flat back on the hood, facing the sky - your face red and in a daze.

"How does it feel?" Yuta asks, placing a warm hand on your abdomen. He is completely soaked - in sweat and in your fluids. So is the blanket he laid out on the hood.

"Please Yuta..." you beg him, raising your hands up at him. "I can't, I need to kiss you, please..."

"God, baby..." Yuta pouts at you and leans over, connecting your lips together as your grab hold of his hair and deepen the kiss. This is all you wanted at the end of the day. To feel his lips and their warmth, to breathe in his odor. When you finally separate, you keep your heads connected and smile like a crazed teenager.

"Wait, it's your turn..." you remind him.

"It's fine. We can do that later." Yuta says, grabbing a hold of the second blanket to wrap around you while using the first one to clean you up down under. "You'll catch a cold out of here. Sorry, if I went too far."

You don't want to buy that though.

"You're going too far if you don't let me see mini Yuta again."

"Don't call it that oh my god." Yuta fake-heaves.

"But that's my favorite part about you!"

"What happened to liking someone for their character, Y/N?"

"Ughh... shush.. you!" you snap, getting off the car and reaching for your dress. It's a chore to put it on but you have to.

"I'm not letting you go without pleasuring you." you declare but Yuta merely guides you by the back and makes you sit inside the car.

"Soon, soon." he says. "We're going back to my hotel anyway. We need a change of clothes and a proper bed."

"So it's part two of last night?" you ask him teasingly. It was impressive that it had not even been a whole 24 hours yet it seemed like forever between last time and now. It also seemed like you got to know so much more of this man who was a complete stranger as of last night.

This made you smile but it immediately made you anxious as well.

When this night is over, where will the two of you be?

You were partially afraid to say anything and break your trance. what if this is all a dream?

"What are you thinking?" He suddenly asks, caressing your hair. This is the first time he touches you in a while. Well probably, it's only been a few minutes but it felt like a while.

"I-" you begin but are unable to find words.

"Do you think this is just an infatuation and will dwindle down to nothing in the next few days?" you finally say. It's better to face the truth now than to delay it. Yuta has to take a chance to ponder over it for a while which only proceeds to create a knot in your stomach.

"That depends on whether you believe in love at first sight?" he replies unexpectedly.

A woman of no nonsense, you can't help but reply "I don't."

"I don't either." he reciprocates. "But I do believe in potential at first sight."

He separates himself from you only for a moment to hold you and look into your eyes as he speaks, pouring out his feelings.

"After the first time we locked eyes, after our first conversation and after the first night we spent together - albeit it was rushed and impulsive and although I won't say I was in love back then, I can't stop thinking about you either." He tells you, transparently.

"This pull between us, it doesn't exist without reason. So I'm asking you..." He says, taking a deep breath.

"Are you willing to give this a chance?"

----

Megumi and you met at a mutual friend's house-warming party. Both of you were newcomers in a small town who migrated for work. There was that in common other than the fact that both of you were slightly awkward, not great talkers and certainly liked the indoors better than adventure. You were just happy that you could find a similar soul in a town full of older people or already married people with families. It was almost not surprising when the two of you started dating. It was a choice of convenience. There was love, without doubt. At least from your side. How could you hate a man, who made you coffee first thing in the morning after a long, tiring day at work. How could you not love a man who played with stray puppies he found on the side of the road. How could you not love a man who knew how to have intelligent conversations and also appreciate your intelligence at the same time.

For you, love was a no-brainer. If this wasn't your perfect match, who would be?

Although Megumi had never explicitly given you any 'I Love You's ,Who could Megumi possibly find in this small town that was more compatible with him than you?

So, when another new hire at the company, Nobara, first reached out to you to set her up with some social circles, you started out by inviting her home for dinner. The three of you had a pleasant evening and you thought nothing of it. Megumi and you had been together for three years at this point. You were even planning to adopt a dog together. You thought of yourself as a married couple, almost.

Then why?

Why, after a horribly taxing day at work, with chinese takeout in your hand and barely enough energy to make it your room, do you find yourself listening to noises of a creaking bed. Why do you find yourself looking at your boyfriend biting Nobara's lips as he tells her the filthiest, yet most romantic phrases. Why is pressing her forehead on to her as he cums. It doesn't make sense. Intercourse with Megumi was quiet, quick affair. That's why it was 'intercourse'. It was something the two of you did to quickly satisfy each other, mostly him.

When you dropped the take-out bag, curry streamed out onto the wooden floor and carpet, and you could only do so much to keep yourself upright and not fall into the small puddle of curry. The noise made the duo turn to look at you and your brain was completely tuning out what Nobara had to say. She seemed to be apologetic, pleading almost but your eyes only followed Megumi as his bare self got out of bed, put his pants on and walked right past you - like you were air. Like you were invisible to him. He went to the restroom and closed the door, with Nobara scurrying out of the house, half clothed.

That night, a part of you was lost forever. The other part of you that refused to give up your survival instincts pushed you - it pushed you until you found yourself at Momo and Noritoshi's doorstep - the Kamo household.

You remember telling them the whole thing as it killed you again, word by word. You find yourself sobbing till you got a panic attack - and then one more. Momo had to call over Miwa and her boyfriend, Kokichi too.

They were the ones who decided that to pull you out of this, you'd need to be pulled out of that town.

The Vegas trip happened only after you promised yourself in the mirror, with a lot of conviction that you would never, ever fall in love with a man again.

----

It's like his confession sobers you out completely. You fall back into the chasm of reality.

Yuta's dark blue eyes wait earnestly for an answer. And maybe you know what you're going to tell him. You'll have to tell him it's not going to work. You'll have to tell him you can't place your heart in jeopardy again.

You will have to stab yourself in your heart because you can't afford to hurt yourself, but you absolutely can't lie to this man and hurt him too.

After tonight, you will let him go..

"Let's get going, Yuta." You laugh nervously. "I'm too tired, don't mind if I sleep."

to be continued.... PART 4 HERE

a/n: phew, this part took some time to figure out what direction I wanted this to go and what elements I wanted to include in this part. Expect a LOT of angst in the next one. I believe Part 4 may be the penultimate chapter. Till then, stay tuned and stay healthy!

[14carrotghoul]

and you can tell everybody (unplugged)

Hi friends! Do not proceed if you don't want spoilers for my fic, and you can tell everybody! Album notes and extras are below the cut :)

ACD's early career is releasing covers and original songs with June on YouTube and later TikTok. Career takes off his first year of university and the rest of the band joins, agreeing to play for a few years to see what happens.

[unnamed] (2020) [very little info on this besides being very pointedly Mexican-American, but the genre is rock influenced by Mexican music, like Cafe Tacvba? Molotov? but more modern]

tex mex - Lyrical inspiration: "Somos Mas Americanos" by Los Tigres Del Norte

decisions (November 2023) [highly influenced by Omar Apollo, I promise the other albums are very different! I'm shoving him down your throats here and I know it lol]

1 new message - mellow r&b. Have suspected something is wrong, ignored it, and now the impact is hitting full force. Wrongly interpreted as Alex leaving a voicemail for an ex but it is a song written for his past self about missing his ADHD and bisexuality. Sound: "3AM" by Haim

reckless abandon - daddy issues song cowritten with Liam. Bilingual. Sound & lyrically: "Voice Inside My Head" by The Chicks

am I? - 'You raised me to disappoint you bc I could never live up to your expectations'/'It took me too long to find myself bc I've been trying to be who you imagined'. Sound: "Go Away" by Omar Apollo

new year new me - fuck expectations, I'm going to do what I want Sound: "Invincible" by Omar Apollo

very bad things - upbeat hookup song. breaking all his own rules and it feels good. "Mercury" by Steve Lacy

split household - child of divorce anthem. Sound: "Kamikaze" by Omar Apollo

seria una mentira - don't make me choose a side. I love you both and it tears me apart. Pointedly about parents. Sound: "Two of Us" by Omar Apollo

too much - Cumbia version of "Too Much" by Carly Rae Jepsen

never enough - never enough to convince people to stay. Sound: "Pram" by Omar Apollo. Also feel this song's outro is very fitting for this!

a light left on - Platonic June appreciation song about how safe Alex has always felt with her. Sound & lyrically: "Caminar Bonito" by Natalia Lafourcade

Good - First time he is told and BELIEVES he is good. "While U Can" by Omar Apollo

yrs - Dramatic love song. First time Alex uses rain motif. Sound: "Petrified" by Omar Apollo

seria una mentira pt. 2 - it would be a lie to choose something simple over choosing you. Sound: "Two of Us" by Omar Apollo but slowed down and more hopeful

spine/die climbing - vulnerable pillow talk. Sound: "Plane Trees" by Omar Apollo, Mustafa

miel - sacrilege bj song. Catches on with queer Latine audience and is memed similarly to Call me by your name by Lil Nas X. Grows the band's audience. Sound: "Te Mata" by Kali Uchis.

on purpose - I choose to be all the things that I am and am not picking a side. End album on a positive note. Sound:"Done With You" by Omar Apollo

vows (June 2024) [very American sound, dreamier, more optimistic]

no booty calls - voicemail w instrumental. Sound: "All Around Me Now" by Perfume Genius

apricot tarts - honeymoon period of a new relationship. Sound: "Someone to Spend Time With" by Los Retros

in dreams - extended version of Henry's in dreams email set to music. In this universe, they met and kissed on New Years at Pez's party and still did long distance and exchanged emails :) Sound: "In A River (Acoustic)" by Rostam

supersonic - secret, fun ode to karaoke night and letting loose on a night out. Sound: "Runaways" by The Killers

tapestry - thank god I'm bi anthem. Sound: "The Steps" by Haim

lipstick on her neck - sung by June. Essentially the lyrics of lipstick lover by janelle monae but in "ALLIIGATOR TEARS" by Beyonce Americana style.

then have me - tender I'm putting it all out there, all you have to do is take it. Sound: "Solar Pilgrim" by Twain

pride (and prejudice) - purposefully anthemic chorus. about being proud despite prejudice in a red state. Sound: "Delta Dawn" by Tanya Tucker

he is my choice - eloping in the rain. comedic/romantic song about how everything went wrong at a wedding. Sound: "Howling at Nothing" by Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats

roasting Alex - jam session - the band lovingly roasts Alex. Sound: "Ballad of Hank Williams" by Hank Williams Jr., Don Helms

Not Just Friends - Liam to Spencer. Song about how they're frequently mistaken for just best friends and how happy it makes him to correct that they're more than that. Song chosen so piano and drums play the beats together. Sound: "A Little Honey" by Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats

Be Cool - Spencer to Liam. Quirky/self-deprecating song about his butterflies about being with someone he's in awe of. Sound: "Heart's Content" by Brandi Carlile

a romantic - June to Nora. Confirms that Nora is aromantic to public. June saying she would never need more from Nora bc she gets to wake up next to her best friend every day. Sound: "Tu" by maye.

bluebonnet - This place (Texas) was never a home to me until you showed me how it was a part of you and now I see you everywhere. Sound & lyrically: "I Think of You" by Rodriguez.

red-blooded (August 2029)

cover: Navy suit w white shirt and American Flag pin on lapel, cropped so only torso is showing

Americana sound again - about 50/50 rock and Americana. Features from Dolly Parton, Orville Peck, and Brandon Flowers

blue blood (August 2029)

cover: red British army dress, cropped so only torso is showing

British glam rock sounds. Features from Elton John, Brian May, and samples David Bowie.

co-written with Henry

-

AND as for where they go from the end of the fic:

Alex becomes a civil rights lawyer in Austin.

Henry's writing career grows but he remains relatively private.

June becomes a music journalist. Eventually ventures into exposes on the industry's shady practices and successfully pivots into investigative journalism

Nora does her own thing.

Liam stays in music industry as a band manager under Zahra's tutelage.

Spencer majored in music production/mixing(?) and gets taken under Pez's wing. Has a smaller solo career and produces for a few indie bands before he settles down and works as a sound mixer in the film industry.

Bea continues to play guitar and flit between collaboration projects.

Zahra is the band's manager and Shaan is Henry's publicist/mentor and they meet while officially strategizing Alex's coming out.

[the-steambird]

[ 011223 EDITION ]

GENSHINBLR — NOVEMBER, 2023 EDITORIAL

EXTRA! EXTRA! Over here, dear reader! As we enter the twelfth month of the year, read up on what’s happened this past month of November on Genshin Tumblr!

From your Editors: Crow and Ely.

COLLECTIVES — November Events !

TRENDING! || From Journalist @meidnightrain

1989 Event — 21 songs to 21 fics with the Genshin characters; A celebration to the release of Taylor Swift’s 1989 album, with fluff, angst, and hurt / comfort galore! Our journalist Meisha takes us through the re-recorded album with various Genshin characters X GN! Reader ranging from Aether, to Furina, and many more in between!

NEWS FLASH! || From Editor @yuellii

Fontaine : Dark Blood — A supernatural-themed event to continue off the spirit of Halloween in November; Dark Blood follows three separate one shots of vampire Neuvillette, werewolf Wriothesley, and puppet Lyney X GN! Reader. Our editor Ely executes horror through her writing, so readers, please heed her warnings carefully in each fic!

COLUMN — Individual Spotlight !

LET TWO EYES BE UNDECEIVED, Lyney / By Editor @rainswept

Summary from the editor: Growing up with you by his side, falsities were always something Lyney could see through. He preferred not to use them, not for a long time — but once you were gone and he and Lynette were left without someone to do the group’s dirty work, he forced himself to inherit the way of living you left behind.

“So excited for this one! Editor Crow’s been showing me their progress—honestly such a must-read for Lyney fans when it comes out, teehee.” — Editor Ely.

YOU’RE SO RED, ARE YOU OKAY?, Furina / By Journalist @definitelynotaneulasimp

A comedic review by Journalist Henry, in which the Archon of Hydro attempts at a date, but all goes wrong when she develops a terrible case of hiccups. Rumor has it: This fic is a part of Henry’s 1.5k Followers Event!

Want more Genshin women content? Definitely check out Henry’s own blog for characters like Ei, Navia, and more!

GOODNIGHT, Various Genshin Men / By Journalist @strawberrylabs

Did you know: Lyney, Freminet, Kazuha, Venti, Cyno and Childe have voice lines about you, dear reader?! If you’re having trouble falling asleep, hear what these characters have to say all about you!

A SIMPLE MISSION, Neuvillette / By Journalist @alaboadoa

Rumor has it: The Duke and the Iudex were caught whispering privately about you?! Read as Journalist Soph gossips all the juicy details about their conversation—it seems Monsieur Neuvillette might have a crush on you!

Just recently released: Journalist Soph also just recently released a new entry for Ayato, “INK TO PAPER.” Both of these works are featured in her 1k milestone event!

ONE CHANCE (PT.2), Various Genshin Men / By Journalist @ayaboba

“You give them one chance. How do they use it?” Journalist Anya returns with Kazuha, Lyney, Wanderer, and Zhongli—all who have just one last chance with you. Be sure to also check our her part one of this entry with Alhaitham, Diluc, Neuvillette, and Wriothesley, linked in her entry!

WHEN THEY LOSE YOU, Various Genshin Men / By Journalist @yrbladie

Ayato, Diluc, Kaeya, Neuvillette, Zhongli — ever in the mood for angst and no comfort? Then Journalist Naeris delivered us painful excepts on five different Genshin men and how they act after ( spoiler! ) losing you.

With Journalist Naeris also being on the rise and joining the writing train, be sure to check out all the other works she has published this month, as well!

FEATURE — The Editors’ Favorites !

YOUR SHADOW UNDER THE ILLUSORY MOON., Lyney / By Journalist @dulcesiabits

“this piece genuinely moved me. journalist liya’s writing is beautiful, and out of hundreds — maybe even thousands — of works that i have read, this has remained my favorite. it had me hanging on every word and i could genuinely feel the emotion put into it — her word choices and the way she conveys the scenes are profound in a way i cannot hope to describe. the ties and parallels part one has with PART TWO are so smart, too. hands down the most immersive and touching writing i’ve ever had the pleasure to read.” — Editor Crow.

JEALOUS-!, Ayato / By Journalist @jinxlixir

“LOVED this one! Takes place in a modern school AU with Ayato as the student council prez, and reader as his vice prez! The concept is every hopeful cliché, and Journalist Jinx did an amazing job characterizing Ayato so well—this one definitely stayed in my head for a while!”

“Not to mention: This little snippet is a continued concept of Jinx’s OTHER AYATO PIECE, one that’s much longer and written excellently!! I was practically squealing the whole time I read it… Ignore my tags if you decide to scroll through the notes.” — Editor Ely.

THE-STEAMBIRD is a Genshinblr Newspaper that posts news on the latest fanfiction and fanart! Editorials are published on the 1st day of every month, compiling your favorite works, featuring sections for journalists (writers) and photographers (artists).

Every month, from the 2nd-24th, we are in the nomination process. Writers and artists can nominate works they would like to see featured on The-Steambird for the month using our form!

[kiwisluv]

Obsessed With You Pt. 4 | Jude Bellingham

Social Media AU! Inspired by Central Cee and Madeline Argy getting back together.

Pairing: Jude Bellingham x Rapper! Y/n

Face claim: Flo Milli

Part 4/4 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

November 25 | Instagram

y/nusername 📍London, United Kingdom

liked by centralcee, mayajama, sza, and 1,201,981 others

y/nusername Back home after the fucking greatest tour ever! All the US baddies came out for this one😍 And I know you guys have been asking...so "Never Lose Me" out next month💋

Comments

y/nstan1 NEVER LOSE ME OUT NEXT MONTH THANK U MOMMMYYYYY

emilythiry31 seeing you in nyc was the best night of my life nothing will ever top it

y/njudelovechild telling myself this song is about jude 😔

sineadpeters about to have my hot girl winter with this song coming out

November 28 | Instagram

judebellingham 📍Cádiz, Spain

liked by camavinga, davidbeckham, and 3,002,194 others

judebellingham Feels good to be back after the international break.🤍 #HalaMadrid

Comments

vinijr again again

tobybishay Few more assists now please😅

judesbee22 just realized that jude was in england when y/n got back...

judesbee22 a girl can dream

December 3 | Instagram

y/nusername 📍 London, United Kingdom

liked by monaleo, lilyachty, ellathomas_, and 1,219,034 others

y/nusername "Never Lose Me (ft. Lil Yachty)" out Friday 😘💋

Comments

judesbee22 you guys see it too right...

y/nsarmy SECOND PIC !!!! ZOOM IN !!!!

y/njudelovechild i spy a #5 necklace, i think i'll just pass out now

judebelleggnham a 5 necklace AND a song called "never lose me" ?? might as well just hard launch jude rn y/n

December 7 | Twitter

December 7 | Instagram

judebellingham 1m ago

December 7 | Twitter

December 8 | Spotify

December 8 | Instagram

y/nusername 1m ago

judebellingham 1m ago

judebellingham 1m ago

December 8 | Twitter

-

TBHHHH this isnt proofread bc i just wanted to get it posted but i'm leaving the house now 😆 hope yall like 😘

[sunlightmurdock]

Power and Control | Prologue, Part 1 | Jake Seresin x Reader (18+)

masterlist | prologue pt 2

chapter moodboard | recommended listening

As an unwanted birthday and an important launch approaches, Jake meets his match.

warnings: infidelity. age gap (20s/40s). sugar daddy relationship. scandal. one-sided pining. drama drama drama. SMUT. This content is intended for those 18+ and over, minors dni

…

New York City, the beginning of January. Four days after the New Year, to be exact. Jake steps outside into the increasingly familiar arctic chill of the city air, his breath clouding in front of him as he pulls his phone from the black trench coat hugging his body. His free hand dips into the pocket on the other side, curling around the keys of his rental.

Nadine: *image attatched*

Nadine: Troublemakers talked me into letting them snuggle while daddy’s away.

Jake’s lips quirk upwards. He examines the image on his phone, knowing damn well that those kids insist on sleeping in that bed even when he is there. The picture is taken from the foot of his bed. His children are curled up amongst the pillows, sprawled out impressively far along the length of the custom XL king bed.

Jake’s oldest, his son Cade is laying flat on his front with his face mashed into the pillow. He’s five now, and looking more and more like Jake every day. Tanned skin, green eyes, blonde hair and his wife’s impressively long, dark lashes.

His daughter is about as far as she could get from her brother. Adeline — Addie-Bear — she’s laying the wrong way, lengthways along the bed with her foot pressed into Cade’s stomach, her thumb in her mouth and her pink rabbit tucked up under her arm. She’s turning three next week. She’s Jake’s shadow when he’s home. It’s normally his stomach that her foot’s pressed into.

He taps away at the little keyboard on the screen, that smile lingering on his lips. It’s only 6am back there — she’s up early, and Jake knows why. The same thing she’s been up all hours of the night since November.

Jake: Missing one?

His phone vibrates with another text. Another picture. This time, it’s his wife — Nadine. Dean. She’s wearing a thin-strapped camisole, looking at him through her dark lashes with those big blue eyes, her hair tied back in a neat bun. Cradled against her chest and latched onto one nipple is their youngest. Elliott. Their oops baby, a product of the celebration of Jake’s skyrocket entry into the Forbes’ 300, born on November 12th.

He looks like her. His hair’s dark like hers and his cheeks are pink like hers. Jake’s got two just like him already, he hopes that this one’s all hers. He’s been hoping for more and more of her from the second he met her.

Jake exhales softly, the chill nipping at his cheeks and his ears. He lifts his gaze to the electric skyline, thinking of his family back there outside of Austin, a clear sky of stars.

Jake: Be back before you know it. Hope to find every single one of you in bed and ready to snuggle.

He slips his phone back into his pocket and turns his attention back to the sky. He just stepped out of his hotel, ready to begin the day. Today is the biggest day of his career so far. Well, it’s not — but it feels like it is. People keep telling him it is. Truthfully, ever since he blinked his eyes open this morning and took a look out over the Central Park view, his chest has been feeling tighter and tighter.

In two days, his Brooklyn office is opening. The East Coast launch of his company. Investors, parties, rooftop bars, he’s going to have a busy couple of days. Which is why he has opted to take these few extra moments for himself.

In seventeen hours, Jake turns forty-two. This date has been creeping up on him for a while now, he figured he would get used to the idea at some stage. So far, all he feels about the nearing birthday is dread. Chest-tightening, dark feeling, dread.

Luckily, he doesn’t have a lot of time to wallow in that.

The Rolls Royce in the parking garage is rented, but Jake’s got one the same sitting in the garage back home. The leather feels familiar but the smell is off. His kid hasn’t accidentally punctured an entire can of febreeze in this car, and honestly, he kind of misses the overwhelming scent of Forest Pine every time he opens the door.

He misses everything about home. He misses Nadine’s cooking, and her laugh, and her blow jobs. There haven’t been many of those recently. Even before Elliott. It’s not her either, Nadine hasn’t ever been the problem. She wants him just as much as he wants her.

Jake’s the problem. It’s just that with two kids who come crawling into their bed at all hours of the night, he finds it a little hard to trust that one of them isn’t just going to burst into the room at any minute.

And he travels so much. He’s away so often that by the time he gets home, he usually passes out in the guest room just so that he can actually get some sleep for once. He hasn’t ever been able to sleep on flights. Truthfully, he had thought that his company would allow him to have more time at home. And it does, kind of.

He’s not deployed for months at a time like if he was still in the Navy. He’s just not there that often either.

The drive to the new office is fine. Driving in New York is dull and Jake spends the entire drive with his foot hovering the brake in case some delivery driver steps out in front of the hood. It’s not a delivery driver that does.

It’s a girl in a big coat. She’s got the puffer jacket pulled up around her ears to shield them from the cold and a pair of headphones covering them to make all of that effort redundant.

More importantly, she’s not watching where she’s going. She’s looking down at her phone. Jake won’t know this until much later, but she’s googling him.

She steps out on Jake as he’s halfway around the corner. Luckily for her and his insurance policy, his fighter pilot reflexes haven’t ever failed him yet. The car screeches to a halt. It’s unclear whether she saw it in her peripheral vision or heard it stop, but she whips around anyway.

Pretty face, even when it’s all screwed up and angry. Her hair’s windswept but he can see the effort that went into styling it. Her make-up’s cute. Somebody’s assistant, probably, running late. His eyes flicker down to her legs, then swiftly back up.

Jake stares at her calmly. Then, he lifts his hand from the wheel and gestures for her to keep crossing. The girl narrows her eyes, lifts her hand and flashes her middle finger at him. Jake’s hair is longer now than it is in his Wikipedia picture, she doesn’t have a clue.

Watching her rush off on her way, Jake scoffs and shakes his head. More parents should teach their kids how to cross the road properly.

The office is in Dumbo. He’s told that that’s a good location, but really he doesn’t care. The office isn’t where the important stuff goes down — that’s why he’s always away on these business trips. He should care, he would have cared in the past.

This company means everything to him. Jake can see himself hurtling towards burnout, something’s got to give. There just isn’t room. He doesn’t have time to think about it.

There isn’t a whole lot of parking there, but there are ten spots reserved for his company. One reserved just for him. He’s told that this is also a lot for the area.

Everyone has been talking about him. ‘What do you mean the driver said he wasn’t there?’. Jake’s calm as he pushes open the glass door and strolls into the building. Everyone quickly quietens. The mystery of their missing CEO is suddenly solved.

He remembers wanting this. Wanting the kind of power that made people shut up when he walked into a room.

“Mr. Seresin!” Jake has met the woman speaking a handful of times now. She’s his East Coast liaison. She organized this whole launch while Jake got to enjoy some time at home with his new baby. She’s in her late thirties. He knows she’s got kids too. Two boys, maybe. He doesn’t really remember. Her blonde ponytail swishes as she rushes over to him. “We sent a car for you!”

“I know,” Jake offers her a quick smile as he shrugs his coat off of his shoulders and hands it to a readily available assistant. “I’m sorry, Rosie. I just wanted some quiet time before I’m talking all day.”

People want Jake to be an asshole. He’s handsome, in a classic kind of way too. He’s beyond successful. Graduated from the most elite Naval training programme to exist and enjoyed a twenty year career there. Built a Forbes 300 company from the ground up. Beautiful, smart wife. Perfect kids. And he’s still young, only forty-one now.

But, that’s simply not the case. Jake remembers the name of the East Coast Liaison he has only met once, briefly, over a zoom call three months ago. He remembers that she’s got two boys. He has stepped strategically into the office so far, so as to not disturb the freshly mopped floors.

He knows that his daughter’s rabbit is named Zade — and absolutely not Cade, because she hates her brother for at least 22 hours of the day. He knows that his son plays centre-back on his soccer team, but really would rather be playing goalie. He knows that his wife hates going to the gas station late at night but loves late night gas station snacks.

Rosie’s lips quirk up into a soft smile. Not just at being remembered by such a handsome or impressive man, but because that’s such a human request. Ten minutes of peace this morning before he spends the next two days smiling for every camera in a hundred foot vicinity.

“That makes sense. It really isn’t a problem. You could tell us, you know — we aren’t here to dictate your day,” She explains to him, a team of eager office staff standing nearby ready to meet their new boss. “You’re the boss, Mr. Seresin.”

She watches him visibly relax, his face softening a little.

“Jake.” He corrects calmly, tapping her elbow platonically and stepping around her. “Alright, who am I working with here?”

He’s beyond charming. Everyone loves him. Receptionists, admins, accountants and fee-earners. This launch is going to be easy. It starts off here, at the office, with a press day.

Meaning that Rosie gets to walk a bunch of eager journalists around the office and explain to them exactly what Vulcan is, and stands for. While Jake sits in his office all morning providing interviews, takes a brief break for a networking lunch, and continues with the interviews in the afternoon.

His office is pretty bare, it’s his first time seeing it this morning. High ceilings, black industrial style windows. A designer took the lead with the whole building — Jake remembers getting a lot of phone calls from him. He’s happy with the direction that he took.

Red brick flows through the building, dark floors. Grey and slate colours throughout. Masculine, modern. He likes it.

Almost instinctively, Jake walks to sit behind his desk. A ten foot length of oak, stained to look darker than the wood naturally is. Thick, leather office chair behind it. A computer sits in front of him and blocks his view of the door — he’ll have that moved by the end of the day.

He rarely works off of anything other than his laptop, making this stupidly big monitor redundant. They can make use of it somewhere else, he’s sure.

Spinning about ninety degrees in either direction on the chair, he taps his fingertips against the wood and surveys the room once more.

He wonders briefly if he’ll ever even touch one of the books on the length of bookshelf that spans the ten feet of wall space behind the ten feet of his desk. Almost definitely not.

To the right of the bookshelf, there’s a tall cabinet. Some kind of filing system most likely. To the right, there’s a bar system. All top shelf labels.

He hasn’t ever brought his kids to work with him yet, but he would have to do some serious baby proofing in here if he ever wanted to.

He leans back in the chair and turns his chin towards the window. He’s got a pretty great view of the East river from here, and past that, the lower East Side.

“Hey, Jake?” Three knocks at the door and his new assistant twists the handle and opens the right side of the double doors that lead into the office. Matthew. Recently graduated from a private catholic college in the city, will probably only be here until he finds something more permanent. Nice kid. “They’re ready when you are.”

He makes the decision that hiding behind a desk isn’t the best first impression. People already make assumptions about his business and his character just because of the industry he’s in. He tries to prove them wrong when he can.

Sitting in the brown leather arm chair, his suit jacket hung neatly on the hanger in his closet and the sleeves of his grey shirt rolled up to his forearms, he’s nothing if not approachable. Polite, well-informed and passionate about the work he’s doing. He makes a good first impression for the first six interviews.

It’s been three hours and he hasn’t faltered yet, until he looks up at the sound of Matthew introducing him to his next interviewer, and finds someone familiar before him.

You swallow softly, watching him tilt his head as he tries to place where he knows you from. You aren’t having the same problem. You recognise him instantly. The guy in the Rolls who almost ran you over this morning.

His lips quirk slowly up in realization. There it is: he knows.

You’re fucked. You’re so fucked. Jerry’s going to skin you alive when he hears about this.

Amusement drips from his features as your heels tap meekly across the concrete office floor, your hand trembling as you hold it out towards him. He pushes himself up from the armchair and slips his palm into yours. You’re faintly aware of Jake’s assistant closing the door behind him as Jake squeezes your hand and shakes.

Your eyes dart briefly downwards, watching the way his fingers extend past your palm, stretching up onto your wrist. The way your hand disappears under the cover of his. Looking back up, you inhale. He’s taller than his Wikipedia page would suggest — and his hair is shorter. You hadn’t recognised him.

“Jake Seresin.” He introduces himself calmly, his palm still in yours. His eyes are an unreasonable shade of green and he smells like the Tom Ford section of Macy’s. He looks down at you, seeming to enjoy the burning embarrassment on your features.

It’s unclear if he’s trying to embarrass you or smooth things over, but either way, you’re waiting for the ground to swallow you whole. You meekly reply with your own name. He smiles, nods, and drops your hand. “You want a drink?”

Christ, he’s trying to fuck you. You messed up and he’s trying to get you drunk so that he can fuck you. You silently scramble for an answer that won’t tank this opportunity harder than you already have.

“Can’t. Sorry,” You answer him quickly, your voice finally loud enough for him to get an idea of what you sound like. He continues away from you without looking back, his broad shoulders filling out that slate coloured shirt perfectly. “I’m nineteen.”

His reaction to this question is important. If he doesn’t mind, then he’s a dirtbag. If he does, he might still spoil this interview on account of your behavior anyway.

Jake turns, and gives you a brief look over his shoulder.

“Sprite? — Sparkling water? Regular water?”

You should honestly probably just leave. Assuming that he was trying to get you drunk at 11am. Flipping him off before that. It’s not like you’re even particularly prepared for this interview. You were googling him on the way here.

“Still. Please.” You breathe out, taking a step back and a seat on the couch.

“I didn’t say you could sit.” Jake deadpans as he turns towards you with two bottles of water in his hand. Your eyes blow wide open and you launch yourself back onto your feet swiftly.

Slowly, his face twists into a devious grin. Fuck, he’s gorgeous. Dimples at the sides of his cheeks, a neat dusting of blonde stubble covering his jaw, his eyes creasing at the edges. “I’m fucking with you. Joking. Sorry, forgot that I had little ears around — I’m joking with you.”

Poking fun at your ‘age’, seeming to forgive your previous indiscretions and setting the water on the coffee table in front of you with an annoyingly cool attitude. He’s running rings around you already.

“Funny.” You tell him quietly, trying to smile. Jake just chuckles as he settles down into the armchair and twists the top off of the glass bottle, bringing it to his mouth.

He takes a gulp and swallows, then brings the bottle down to rest against his thigh. “Little young for a reporter, anyway, aren’t you?”

“I’m not a writer. My boss couldn’t make it, and it was going to be a valuable experience, so, uh… he offered it to us. I’m one of his interns.” Jake crosses one knee over the other and watches as you reach down to pull your notebook from your purse. Black mini skirt, white blouse, cheap heels. He believes it. You look like somebody’s intern.

“Who’s your boss?” He rests his forearms on either side of the chair, his gaze never once wavering from you. He’s not a man that is easily distracted.

You set the notebook on your lap and fiddle with the pen.

“Jerry Jones, with the Observer.”

Jake presses his tongue into his cheek. Being snubbed by Jerry Jones, that’s fucking rich. Jake knows what it means when someone is too busy for a press day — they didn’t want to come.

His reaction tells you quickly that he isn’t a fan of your boss. That’s probably a good thing, since you’re not a fan of that pig either, but it’s not a good thing in terms of the interview.

“You like it there?” He asks. You wish he would look away from you for just a second. Those green eyes feel like they’ve got the power to mesmerize you and really, you can’t afford any more embarrassment.

No. You hate it. Jerry’s a pervert and you aren’t interested in working for him at all. You’re just here because your professor pulled some strings. You hate your job, and everyone you work with.

Jake’s lips quirk once again. He flashes you a quick smile. “You’re young. There’s always time to move on.”

Fuck. If this gets back to Jerry, any of it, you’re in big trouble. Apparently reading you is just another skill to add to Jake’s already impressive resume. He leans forwards and sets the bottle of water down on the coffee table, then relaxes back into his seat with parted knees.

“Sorry. I’ll stop. What did you need to ask me, honey?”

There’s a brief pause where your eyes linger on his face before you exhale. Jake knows that look. He is more than used to receiving it. But, coming from you, he can’t pretend not to enjoy it.

Looking hasn’t ever been a crime, flirting hasn’t ever been a crime. Nadine knew that was who he was when she met him. Hell, she looks at guys sometimes. Jake looks.

Jake Seresin is a former Naval Aviator turned entrepreneur. That’s the opening line of his Wikipedia. Four and a half years ago, he founded a company called Vulcan.

“We specialize our activity in military contracts service,” Jake’s knees are parted wide and he’s beyond confident in holding your gaze. You scrawl notes down onto the page, hoping that he’ll drop something interesting soon. “Personal protection, convoy security, tactical operations.”

Swallowing, you look up at him and set the pen down on the page.

“Over eighty-five percent of your workforce are former United States Armed forces, and you’re known for working closely with several notable veteran’s charities,” Jake listens to you list off the front-page facts about him, his hand resting calmly against his thigh. “How would you say that your background in the Navy affected your business-plan?”

You’re nervous about being here, that much is clear, but there’s a boldness in the way that you look at him. He likes it, he would hire you on the spot. A little guidance and you could be great. Jake has always liked confident girls.

Between questions, when you’re looking down at your notebook with your lips pursed in concentration, he looks. He looks at the way your legs curve, how those heels make them look. The way your neck disappears under the collar of your white buttoned blouse.

You’re professional enough. Young, sure — but he doesn’t buy for a second that you’re nineteen. The way that you talk, the way that you sit, the way that you look at him. He knows you’ve been with men. More importantly, he knows you’re used to getting what you want.

His answers are eloquent, you can tell he cares. He can tell that you think this entire industry is a farce. But, you’re too polite to admit all that.

You finish up, you shake his hand and pretend like feeling him grip your palm in his doesn’t affect you in the way that it does. And then, you take the train back to your office.

Jake works through the afternoon and heads straight to drinks in Soho from there. These aren’t casual drinks though. No, he starts off with dinner with his investors. Then, they move to a rooftop bar with views over the city.

He’s bored. The longer that this goes on, the more he feels it eating at him. Forty-two has him in a vice-grip, and it feels like he’s being crushed by it. Tapping his fingers against the chilled glass, he turns his attention towards the lights and finds himself zoning out completely. Suddenly the little Wall Street jack-off that he was speaking to is far more quiet, and Jake’s mind is a lot more busy.

He’s bored. He isn’t happy. In the San Diego office, on business trips, here. At home. Something is missing. It’s ridiculous, he has everything and he wants more.

A hand on his arm snaps him out of it. He looks down at the 5’6 broker that has smacked a palm into his bicep and stares. The hand lingers there, the person on the end of it has no idea how much they’re pissing him off.

“So anyway, Jake, then I told ‘em-“

“Will you excuse me for just one second?” Jake pushes his glass forwards and the poor son of a bitch in front of him has a split second to decide if he’s going to catch it or wear it. He chooses correctly and his suit is saved, fingers curling around the glass.

Jake steps around him without any kind of idea what they were even talking about before he had rudely interrupted. In one more hour, Jake will be forty-two. It’s not an age that he has been looking forward to. Nothing about getting older has seemed particularly exciting, ever, but this — this is much worse than ever before.

He exits out onto the terrace, leaving his own event behind him. It’s too cold for most people to want to be out here. There’s snow on the forecast for this week.

Running a hand over his face, Jake thinks of his father. He looks like him. Apparently, he acts like him. Jake was eight years old on his father’s forty-second birthday. He remembers the smiling, the music, the cigars. More importantly, he remembers attending his father’s funeral eight weeks later.

Swallowing thickly, Jake pulls his phone from his pocket. He already knows how this will end. It’s 10pm back home — she’s going to be asleep in bed with her book still open, dropped onto the pillow next to her. He calls anyway, resting his forearms on the glass railing, breathing deeply.

“C’mon, honey, pick up the phone.” He whispers into the air, his breath materializing in front of him. His foot taps impatiently against the stone tiles. If he had ever smoked, he’d probably be itching for a cigarette by now. “Just pick up.”

It rings eight times, and then her voicemail starts to play. Upon hanging up, Jake is met with his lockscreen. 11:03. Fifty-seven minutes to go. His throat feels dry. He closes his eyes for a second and thinks of his family. Asleep, cuddled up together.

He’s suddenly reminded of exactly how many nights they have spent like that, without him. His kids are always excited to see him, but they probably barely notice that he’s gone on nights like this.

His body makes the decision to head for the bar before his mind does. Jake needs another drink, something strong. If he wakes up hungover, maybe he’ll feel thirty again. Being the boss has its perks. Asking for three shots of whiskey and then a scotch on the rocks with a twist would get anyone else here fired. For Jake, it gets him service with a smile.

He rests his hands on the bar and exhales deeply. Pressing his tongue to the inside of his cheek, he starts to wonder how cheap tequila used to get him so drunk when now top shelf whiskey doesn’t seem to do the trick.

Jake checks his peripheral, then deems the movement to his left interesting enough to justify turning his head to look. Like Rosie had said, he’s the boss. Who’s going to lecture him for being nosey?

He almost smiles at the sight of Jerry Jones standing right next to him. Too busy to drag his lazy ass out to Brooklyn this morning, too cheap to miss out on an open bar in the city. Then, his attention turns to the girl that Jerry has wedged between him and the bar. Jake recognises those legs instantly.

“I get it, I screwed up.” You whisper. Jake’s close enough to hear the anger trembling through your voice. He watches as Jerry’s short, stubby fingers reach out and curl around your forearms.

“Damn right you fucking did, what are you going to do to fix it?” Your boss sneers. Jake can smell the beer reeking off of him, and the disgusted, pinched look on your face tells him that you do too. Surely this isn’t about your interview earlier. It went well. Jake could have been a lot more dull, if he hadn’t been rooting for you.

Turning his attention briefly back to the bar, Jake remembers his Navy days. Kicking drunk assholes out of Penny’s bar. Knocking the worst of them on their asses just for sport. It’s been a while. Getting into a bar fight wouldn’t be good press, but Jake’s just itching to do it. To do something.

Unfortunately, in his moment of deliberation, Jake misses the opportunity. He’s caught somewhat in the splash zone, which makes his head whip around just in time to catch the aftermath. The empty champagne glass in your hand, Jerry’s soaked shirt and wet face, the fury in your eyes.

“You are done. You know that?” Jerry’s fingers press harshly into your forearm as he leers closer again, growling threats in your direction. Jake stands up, enough is enough, but once again, you’re faster. He watches as you lift your chin, then swiftly your knee to follow, slamming it right into your boss’ groin. Jerry recoils enough to release his grip.

Jake just watches as you spin away from the situation. He doesn’t even notice the smile on his face until he turns his head and stares Jerry in the eye. He makes no effort to hide it.

“Jones, you touch a woman like that again,” Jake adjusts his sleeves under his suit jacket as he straightens up and prepares to believe. His gaze is strikingly cold as he meets your boss’ gaze once again. “I’ll take everything you’ve ever worked for from you, I promise you that.”

This isn’t the first time that they have crossed paths. That’s one of the nicer of their exchanges. Amused enough, Jake heads for the exit with every intention of making the most of the stocked bar in his hotel room and the opportunity to jerk off without needing to lock three separate doors first.

He grabs his coat on the way out, huffing out a deep exhale as he steps out onto the street. He should probably take a cab. He can get someone to pick up the rental first thing tomorrow.

Slowing as the heavy glass door to the bar closes behind him, Jake examines the girl in the short dress standing by the curb, shivering. He shrugs his coat off of his shoulders as he walks forwards, clearing his throat to alert you of his presence.

You must have been in the city for a while with the expert way that you round on him without visible fear. He’s silent for a moment, studying the dark mascara smudged under your eyes. City lights behind you, your lips a deeper colour from how you’ve been gnawing anxiously at them, your skin prickled with goosebumps.

“Jesus Christ, did you fucking follow me out here?”

Jake’s mouth twitches. His brows raise slowly, creases starting to appear on his forehead. It’s been a long time since someone spoke to him like that. Much less an intern.

“I don’t have to be nice to you anymore, I know you saw him fire me.” You point out, hands gripping onto your own biceps in an attempt to keep in some of your body heat. You’re an idiot for forgetting to grab your coat, but there’s not a chance that you’re walking back into that building.

Jake holds his coat in one hand, cold nipping at his hands. He’s cool, confirming your accusations. “I did.”

Whether that’s that he followed you or that he saw you get fired, he doesn’t specify. He lifts his hand and offers his coat. You look between him and the heavy black material, statuesque. Both of you are staring at the coat when the first snowflake falls. White spots disappearing into the dark, wool-cashmere blend.

Jake lifts his gaze. You clench your jaw to keep from shivering. He lifts the coat slightly, reminding you that his offer is still there. Hesitantly, you uncross one arm and reach out with a trembling hand. He’s dead quiet, watching you wrap yourself in his coat, shrugging it close to your body.

“You wanna go for a drink?” Jake breathes out, his breath clouding in front of him, the tip of his nose pink. You stare back at him. He saw you with that champagne glass in your hand upstairs. Realistically, if you fuck him, it’s not like you can get fired twice — and fuck, he’s handsome.

Plus, you kind of don’t want to give his coat back yet.

Ten minutes later, you’re sitting across from the richest man you’ve ever met in a dimly lit cocktail bar in Soho.

“So, you’re not nineteen.” Jake muses, parting his knees excessively wide as he sits back in his chair. You study him.

“Twenty-four.” You answer quietly. His lips quirk up into a smile, and he nods finally. There’s a quick reprieve as a waitress sets your drinks between the two of you. A scotch, and a margarita. “Look, I would have told you the truth, but—“

Jake shakes his head calmly. “No need. I get it.”

You frown slightly, resting your elbow on the table and propping your chin on top of it. Jerry had sworn to you that this guy was an asshole, and so far, you’re just not seeing it.

Until Jake gets you to laugh for the first time. A passing comment about life in the city that’s accurate enough to warrant a small giggle. Then, you watch him reach out and pick up his glass, and your eyes land on the gold wedding ring on his finger.

Here you are letting him buy you drinks when he has a wife waiting for him at home.

Toying with the straw in your glass, you rest your cheek against your hand. “So, Vulcan,” You start with a shrug, letting him know that you’re disinterested in his work. Jake smiles coolly back at you.

“Why leave the Navy and still work with military contracts?” You push the straw around the glass, letting the ice clink to break up some of the silence.

In the years since he started this, Jake has heard that question almost every day. His answer is polished and perfected.

“Getting out of the military isn’t like quitting any other job. For a lot of people, assimilating into another career path just isn’t feasible after the experiences they’ve been through,” Jake’s exceptionally still, beyond okay with the silence. He watches you fiddle with your drink. “And there was nowhere for them to go before Vulcan.”

Nowhere for him to go, he means. He doesn’t say it, he knows it himself, and when you lift your gaze to look at him through your lashes, he knows that you know it too.

“You really believe in what you’re doing. You know, some people think that there’s something concerning about private companies carrying out military duties.”

“Well, you did your research,” He’s taunting you now, you both know that you didn’t. “You know how strenuous of a process it was for my company to build the impeccable reputation that it has now.” Jake takes no time to consider. He’s firm, decisive. He watches you take one more look down at the wedding ring on his finger.

“A lot of people think that you’re just in it for the money.” By that, you mean Jerry Jones. You don’t have to say it, you know it. And by the way Jake looks at you, you know he knows it too. Unspoken words, your eyes drawn in on each other, your heartbeat in your ears. His wife is a lucky woman.

“I didn’t know that I’d even earn any money when I started. I had a one year old at the time, I needed it to work.” He admits.

“You’ve got kids.” You breathe out. Jake can hear the disappointment in your tone. So, the wedding ring wouldn’t have stopped you. Kids is where you draw the line. Anyway, he decides to test you further.

“Three. Two boys and a girl.”

Blinking across at him, you should be running for the hills by now. Instead, you refuse to let your silence ruin this for you. “How old?”

He should probably be ashamed of himself for sitting in Soho with a girl half his age, telling her about his kids — but he isn’t. He just isn’t. “Five, almost three, and uh… My youngest was born in November.”

Your glossed lips press softly together, almost in consideration. He watches as you cross one knee over the other and flick your gaze back up to him.

“So, what are we doing here, Jake?”

He likes the way his name sounds coming from your mouth. Too much. He likes the way your legs look in the dress that you’ve changed into. He loves the way that your eyes remain on him as your tongue slowly dips from your mouth to a portion of the salt from the rim of your glass.

There’s only about a foot of distance between the two of you and it’s beyond evident that sooner or later, there will be much less.

“Can’t friends get a drink together?” He’s playing coy, and truthfully he wants you to be the one to put an end to this because he has three minutes left until his birthday and he wants nothing more than to pin those pretty fucking legs behind your ears.

“We’re going to be friends?” You huff amusedly at the idea. You’ve been wanting to see what’s under that expensive suit all day.

No, Jake doesn’t want to be your friend. He lifts the glass to his mouth and takes a drink.

“I hear you’re staying at the Plaza.” No job to go back to tomorrow. An ex-boyfriend who will inevitably get a phone call if this doesn’t work out. A masters’ degree that you still haven’t finished, two years in. In lieu of spitting in Jerry Jones’ face, there’s a more wild and infinitely more exciting opportunity right in front of you.

There it is. Jake’s been waiting for that confidence to break through.

“Have you stayed before?” He knows that you haven’t. This cat and mouse game is winding down and Jake’s about to make a decision he won’t be able to take back. You give a slow shake of your head, sitting back in your seat. Jake’s eyes flicker down to his watch. He looks back up to you. “You want to?”

Less than an hour into his birthday, Jake lingers just inside the doorway of his hotel room as you walk ahead of him towards the ten feet tall windows facing the park.

“No fucking way.” You breathe out, eyes wide, heels tapping gently across the floors. Jake’s lips quirk upwards into an amused smirk. He takes a second to look you over, eyes trailing your silhouette in front of the skyline.

Then, he turns and pours himself one last drink. For you, he takes a moment to examine the bar.

“What do you want?”

“Whatever you’re having.” You call back as you turn, craning your neck to try to see up the stairs. There’s so much to look at, but it’s clear that you’re here to fuck him, not tour his hotel room.

Jake chuckles to himself, already figuring that you probably won’t like it, but pouring you a measure anyway.

When he turns, he finds you resting you palms against the window frame, one ankle crossed over the other, smiling softly at him. The expectation is that he’ll finally touch you, but no. Jake sits down in the armchair and sets your drink on the coffee table in front of him.

“Go, explore. I know you want to.” He permits, settling down comfortably as he takes a sip of the amber coloured liquid. Your lips quirk up, almost smiling at him. That’s a smile that he could get used to seeing.

He watches as you walk back through the way that you came. Closet and a washroom by the door, an impressive study just past that. Upstairs, there’s an even more impressive bedroom. A huge bathroom with a bathtub bigger than you’ve ever seen that leads out onto a private terrace.

You’re in a Penthouse. It starts to finally sink in that you’re here with one of the most powerful men in the city right now, and you’re still wearing his coat.

Shrugging off the expensive wool blend, you hang it in the bedroom closet and then turn to look at yourself in the floor length mirror.

The dress is nice. Your sister had helped pick it out. It’s classy enough for a work event but it fits your body in a way that has always earned you special attention.

Slowly, you touch at the bottom hem of the dress with your fingertips, guiding it up just slightly to expose the tops of your stockings. It’s beyond presumptuous, but you see the way that he looks at you.

Reaching back to catch hold of the zipper of the dress, you think of how humiliating this could be. It doesn’t stop you, though.

…

Tags: @alanadetigy @thedroneranger @momc95 @basicchelsea @perpetuelledaydreaming @cherrycola27 @eviesaurusrex @xoxabs88xox @desert-fern @fuckyeahhangman @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @khaylin27 @cowboybarbie @someinsanefangirl @marchingicenotes7 @marantha @lgg5989 @herladyshipxx @chaoticweirdogeek @mak-32 @obiwankenobis-lap @diamond-3 @wolvesofthewinter @shawnsblue @itsmytimetoodream

[hobiskneecap]

SKZ Fic Rec List Pt.2

part 1

🧷 - fics/drabbles

💿 - reactions/headcanons/scenarios

💬 - smau/texts

📁 - series

** posting this unfinished, it’s been sitting in drafts for months and I’ve been inactive 😭😭 I didn’t finish Felix or get to Jeongin or seungmin but here’s what I had :P hope you enjoy **

Ot8

fluff

💬 “texts with skz” - @strayedstars

💬 "bestfriend!reader calling stray kids baby" - @imagine-a-life-like-this

💬 “what’s mine is yours” - @chan4evurrr

💿 “when you’re spaced out” - @writerracha

💿 “post-argument with bf!skz” - @maxidentscene

💬 “group chat texts” “part two” - @starrgaziinggg

💬 “ot8 skz texts” - @sugrlamb

💬 “embarrassing photos w/ skz” - @aakomii

💿 “how skz cuddles with you” - @hearts4sungie

💿 “why you don’t say ‘i love you’ back” - @hyuniyz

💬 “asking your skz partner for a baby” - @luvrhyune

💬 “texting boyfriend skz ‘imagine if we were dating’ ” - @strayedstars

💿 “gossiping with skz” - @astralis-is-typing

smut

💿 “make me” - @cosmic-railwayxo

💿 “reactions to squirting” - @joodlepo

💿 “sounds they make during sex” - @seungisms

Hyung Line

fluff

smut

💿🧷 “Love Languages and Sex” - @matryosika

💿 “hyung line + unexpected kinks” - @linorachas

Maknae Line

💿 “maknae line + unexpected kinks” - @ linorachas

Bangchan

fluff

🧷 “crying over you” - @straylightdream

smut

🧷 “forgot something?” - @ writerracha

🧷 face sitting - @lix-ables

🧷 “chan relieves his anger on you” - @faeryacha

🧷 walks in on you having a bad dream - @ faeryacha

🧷 toys + exhibitionism @linorachas

Leeknow

fluff

🧷 “cotton candy” - @rachalixie

smut

🧷 “comp sci major Minho” - @lino-nyangi

🧷 "when he wants you to sit on his face" - @fluffylino

🧷 “wet dream” - @hardstraykidshours

🧷 “no nut november” - @sluttywonwoo

🧷 “pillowtalk” - @caseiloveu

Changbin

fluff

smut

🧷 //dubcon just the tip - @planet-dusk

🧷 taking turns with a vibrator - @cbini

🧷 marking - @charmercharm3r

Hyunjin

fluff

💬 “hyunjin BF texts” - @il-i-sam

🧷 “hyunjin thinks he’s subtle as he pines over you” - @lixie-phoria

🧷 //implied past sh “you drew stars around my scars” - @ppiri-bahng

smut

Han

fluff

🧷 “strawberry cheesecake” - @wooahaes

💬 “daily boyfriend texts with han jisung” - @jnginlov

🧷 “mornings with jisung” - @yxngbxkkie

smut

🧷 “8 letters” - @tadashisdisaster

🧷 “like never before” pt 2 - @writerracha

Felix

fluff

smut

🧷 “how are you paying me this time?” - @movelikeadoodle

🧷 “lollipop” - @tasteracha

[blingblong55]

Hi! if you take requests I would like to make one where tf 141 + Los Vaqeros reaction to r/n coming back to the base/common room covered in blood, hurt and tortured (I love angst ngl)

( if its okay can you make a Platonic r/n with little sibling energy)

Last Words of a Shooting Star -141+ Los Vaqueros

I love angst too and because I love hurting my own feelings.... here goes a little something. Not sure if it needs a warning but, just read at your own risk babes, bc I do talk abt I guess heavy stuff (as you can tell,,,I can't tell what is and what isn't traumatizing anymore so be careful.) This one gives me Every Since New York vibes

Pt. 2

----

You had been on leave after a mission back in November. Price made sure you stayed off base for 3 months. The excuse was: they need peace for a few months, they deserve it." But instead of being home you had been captured, tortured and almost trafficked. You fought for ever second of life you knew you deserved, while being captured. No one in the team knew about any of this.

*3 MONTHS BEFORE*

"see ya later boys" you said and got in your truck. (yes you drive one bc ghost said it was a better vehicle.) Soap waved until your cars silhouette was no longer in view. He knows you'll come back with home back goodies for him. But before you passed the first stop light one car crashed into yours. Another pulled over, 4 men with guns got out. You quickly held onto your pistol, but you knew best and didn't fight them. Your left eyebrow dripping blood. You got off the car and held your hands up. "Get in the car with them" he ordered you and a big buff man pushed you around until you sat in their vehicle, "My team will be here any minute now you know." you bluffed.

"Well by the time they get here we'll be gone." and off they drove. The man sitting next to you hit your head with the end of his gun, you blacked out.

These men had carefully planned the hold kidnapping. From taking your car elsewhere to texting Price that you made it home, the same way you would've texted him.

For 3 months they tortured you, asking questions you swore you didn't have an answer to. For 2 months you believed that the team would know you'd be missing. For 1 month you planned your escape.

And as the near came close, you heard them talk about trafficking you. "Think about it boss, anyone will pay good money for a member of that task force." That's when all hope was gone. Your limbs had been slowly giving up. By this point you were sure that your plan wouldn't work.

Until you saw the perfect opportunity.

"When kidnapped remember there is a window of opportunity when being transported from location A to B, so be wise and use that."

So you did, and now you had found your way back to the base.

You managed to get pass security and into your part of the base, there you heard Gaz and Soap laughing. Your eyes watered. You walked in and held the floor as everyones eyes met you.

"Kid," was all price could let out, he soon ran to your side. Holding on to you with so much care. Soap ran out for a medic, Ghost made way as you were taken to the infirmary.

Gaz held your hand the entire time. But your grip wasn't too strong. They were all losing you.

"Cariño, don' close your eyes." fear taking control over Alejandros' voice.

Rudy ran behind you all. But soon stoped when he got a call from his team. He soon found the footage of your kidnap. Los vaqueros were all informed of what had happened. They had taken you under their wings when you first met them. You reminded them of their siblings at home. How energetic and funny you were. You like a storm, took over their hearts. "Le diré al coronel de esto." He walked away from his team and to the infirmary.

These are their own personal reactions:

Price:

The second he held you in his hands his heart completely shattered.

He hated how your body leaned against his, this time your weight much lighter.

He didn't care about anyone else in the room

There was hesitation, his first thoughts were on taking care of you, but he is a soldier first. He must know what happened and who is to blame.

For hours while the medical staff was treating your injuries, he would leaved the room, making phone calls and deals with old colleagues of his.

Ghost had to stop him from hitting a medical staff member, "sir you can't come in," "that's my soldier in there, kid needs me!" he'd say. "c'mon old man , sit down" Ghost would try and guide him back to his seat.

For minutes he was close to loosing his shit.

Once Rudy walked in with information, he went hysterical

He cursed every one and everything

He never lit a cigar, because if he did, he was afraid shit would hit the fan and he'd burn that last gift you gave him.

Soap:

He never spoke, the man that had been talking for hours before you arrival stopped.

He couldn't form any words, he thought of when he last saw you, how your eyes were so full of life, and now that image replaced a much weaker version of you.

The blood around your body he hoped was someone else's

He left the room when Price and Ghost were talking to doctors.

He discovered you had to be put in the ICU,

He cried, and as tears fell down his face, his hand made way to the cross that hanged from his neck.

The same one you gave him on his birthday, after you had found out he lost his.

He cried even more thinking of the times you and him had laughed together. How much Gaz and you made him miss his family back home.

"r/n's okay...they'll be better tomorrow" he assured himself and repeated it like a mantra.

"Please be okay" he whispered as kicked a rock while walking around.

Gaz:

Like Soap, he stayed quiet, only spoke when he made calls to his friends at the local police station.

He cried too, but he soon left once Price told him to. "take time son"

Once he reached his room, he got on his bed and hugged a pillow.

it was times like this when you'd come in and hug him. "Everything will be fine" you'd say as he embraced you.

He called him mom, something you had taught him to do, incase things went south and you wouldn't be there to listen.

The images of the torn clothes and frail body of yours came to mind every time he closed his eyes.

It was always you and Gaz who at times would fall short on the kindness of Ghost.

When he least needed it, a joke you once told him came across his train of thoughts.

He called every doctor he knew

He walked into your room and laid in your bed.

" just tell me something George,...what do you mean you don't know nothing...okay can you just pretend you do?...I need something, so tell me something"

Ghost:

This man had it bad. When he first saw you, his mind when to when he discovered his family had died

He swore he only let you in because you somehow creeped into his heart

Your jokes and attitude reminded him of his brother Tommy

"Look ghost..look" you would say as you attempted a cart wheel. 'You'll only get hurt" he'd reply. But when you did things like that, he looked at you with such adoration.

Between you two, it was black cat and golden retriever type of vibe.

He stayed next to price, but once he was alone in that hall, he almost let the guilt win.How can a man as strong as him let this happen to you

The first time he knew you'd be his family was when you held him in your arms as you two laid in a field

His tears falling down as he heard your heartbeat, "close your eyes, have no fear, the monster's gone and r/n is here," you softly sang, a giggle mixed with the melody

"beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy" you whispered as your hands caressed his hair. He closed his eyes slowly drifting to sleep. "Good night Simon, see you in the morning" you whispered against his head.

When he stopped Price from hurting that staff member, he went out and picked any flowers around base. He came back with a handful, so tiny on his palms, but so meaningful to him

He sneaked into your room, no one noticed and he sat on your bed, holding you so close to him.

"Before you cross the street, Take my hand, Life is what happens to you, While you're busy making other plans, Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, Beautiful r/n" he quietly sang to you.

Alejandro:

Once Rudy had told him they had footage of your kidnap, he lost his mind.

this man went feral, Rudy would try and stop it, but man was he furious.

"No hagas algo a lo pendejo, coronel" But he'd discard his friend and eventually after 4 hours of search, he'd find the perpetrators

We've heard people say "met hell" but these men met Alejandro and boy did they met more than hell

Idc what you say he prayed for the first time since he was a child.

While on search this man swore he heard your voice, "r/n?" he would walk around a crowd of people

for moments he believed it was all a dream or a horrible prank you managed to pull. But once he saw Rudy wipe a few tears, he knew it was real

He went numb when his hand met your skin

I swear this man got sick the moment he saw you, he never got sick when looking at anyone in the condition you were now in.

His mind went back to the times he was teaching you Spanish.

"el helicóptero no puede volar" he said, to which you replied "volar? the helicopters got no balls?" you asked and he bursted out laughing

Rudy:

this man was devastated, but he had to be the strong one while everyone wasn't

he was the one to pray while looking at the footage. "Dios mío" he kept sayin as he repeated the video.

But soon emotions took over and he left the room.

He held onto the bracelet you two bought while he showed you around his town, you had visited Las Almas long after your mission there. You two ate and ate until your stomachs hurt. "Eres mi mejor amigo Rudy." you hugged him, Alejandro sat in the front, content with you for speaking Spanish.

When he first saw how bloody you looked he went pale. It was one of the things he never knew he would see

You remind him of his siblings, annoying at times, funny, but understands his humor like no other.

This man is the biggest softie, he was always Rodolfo on the job or Rudy, but man he was someone else with ya, always soft and kind to you, his voice would switch so fast when speaking from soap to you.

He was a trained solider to withstand any form of torture, but seeing you hurt would've made that soldier talk.

When no one looked he walked into a church and confessed to a priest, then asked "por favor dime que estará bien"

When all else fails, you pray, mijo, his mother would say.

a/n: I absolutely adored writing this, so I hope you all enjoyed!

REQUEST ARE OPEN!

[babydollmarauders]

AUGUST PT 2 — QUINN HUGHES

quinn hughes x fem!reader

THIS IS A VERY LATE PART 2 TO THIS FIC

summary: in which y/n has been in love with Quinn for years and now she deals with the emotional consequences of a summer situationship.

specific lyrics: “you weren't mine to lose.” and “i can see us lost in the memory, august slipped away into a moment in time. 'cause it was never mine. and i can see us twisted in bedsheets, august sipped away like a bottle of wine. 'cause you were never mine.”

warnings: underage drinking

notes: this is almost five months late…. better late than never, right? ummm….. i hope y’all enjoy 🫣

**SEPTEMBER 21ST 2018**

the last week of this summer passed by in a blur. my final seven days being spent with Jack and his friends, and my nights being taken by his brother. i never did confess my feelings to Quinn, and as a result, i now sit back in my bedroom at home, watching snapchat stories of him at a party. my focus zeroes in solely on the girl clinging to his arm in the most recent picture. he wears a smile on his face and in the hand not occupied by the girl, he holds a generic red solo cup.

i have no right to feel jealous. to be so upset. he was never actually mine, no matter how much i wanted him to be. we were never exclusive. our rendezvous last month were just good times for him, and i knew that. so why did it still hurt? why did it still feel like my heart was broken?

i suppose i could chalk it up to the fact that he never clarified anything. he never outright admitted that our escapades meant nothing to him, but he also never said they meant anything either. however, they meant everything to me. they gave me hope that maybe he felt the same feeling that i’ve harbored for four years. but then he left with a simple ‘goodbye’.

i foolishly hoped that he would call me when he got back to school, that maybe he was just too nervous to say anything to my face, but now it’s 3 weeks later and the only Hughes’ i’ve heard from are his brothers. Jack texting me random updates of his life every day, and Luke and i speaking on the phone when i wished him a happy birthday earlier this month.

and i can’t make the excuse of ‘he’s busy.’ because i see him on social media, partying after wins and hanging out with friends between classes. he surely has enough free time to call me or even send a simple text. but, i suppose he doesn’t care to contact me because it never meant anything to him; and i guess he assumed it wasn’t anything to me either.

**NOVEMBER 16TH, 2018**

a glass of wine secured in my hand, i’m sat on the couch, scrolling through social media. my parents went out for a date night, leaving me with a house to myself for the night, and i’ve taken advantage by cracking open a bottle of wine and actually leaving my room. it wasn’t much, but i was relaxed. my thumb swipes over my phone screen, scrolling down my instagram timeline, and i stop at a picture of Quinn.

His arm is around a blonde girl’s shoulders as she hugs his waist, a small smile gracing his lips while she wears a large, toothy grin. it’s been months since i’ve last spoken with him, yet it doesn’t make it sting any less to see him with another girl. tears well in my eyes at the remembrance of his easy dismissal of me. the way that he left at the end of the summer with nothing more than a ‘bye.’

maybe it’s the adrenaline pumping through my veins, maybe the fact that i’m over feeling worthless over a guy, or maybe it’s the nearly entire bottle of wine that’s flushing through me right now; but i’ve finally had enough. swiping out of instagram, i scroll through my contacts until i find the one i’m searching for, my thumb hovering close over the call button but too hesitant to actually press it.

“this is stupid.” i mutter to myself, hanging my head. it’s in that moment that my dog decides to come over, sniffing me and nudging at the back of my phone, resulting in the tapping of the button. “shit!”

it’s too late now, the damage is done. he’ll get notified that i called him, regardless of if i were to hang up right now anyways, so i bring the phone up to my ear, listening to it ring. once. twice. a third time, before it connects.

“y/n? what’s up?” his voice is raspy and i wonder if i woke him. it’s only ten at night, but if i remember correctly, he has a game tomorrow, so it doesn’t surprise me that he would be asleep this early. i take a deep breath, mentally preparing myself for the words that need to be said.

“you’re a shitty person, you know that?” i surprise even myself with the anger that comes through with my words. my honest feelings being spoken.

“i’m sorry?” he sounds confused, but it’s not an actual apology, it’s more of an ‘excuse me?’ if anything.

“you heard me. you’re an asshole.” i tell him, rising to my feet to pace around my living room, my dog following me like a shadow. “i wish i had never met you.”

“okay, ouch, hold on, what did i do?” he questions. i hear shuffling in the background and i assume he’s sitting up in his bed now. “we haven’t even spoken in like, what? two and a half months?”

“exactly! that’s the problem!” i’m acutely aware that i’m raising my voice at this point, but i just don’t understand how he doesn’t see the issue with this.

“you’re mad at me because i haven’t talked to you lately? i still don’t understand.” i halt my pacing at his words, my dog bumping into the backs of my legs at my abrupt stop.

“i’m mad because you strung me along this past august. i’m mad because you left me with nothing but a simple ‘bye’. i’m mad because i’ve liked you for the past four years and then you didn’t even have the decency to explain to me whatever it was that we were doing this summer!” i huff. “i would’ve understood if you just told me it meant nothing to you. that you just wanted some action or whatever. but instead you didn’t tell me shit! you let me believe that maybe you liked me back. that maybe we could have been something. and then you just left me with radio silence and i have to see you on social media with girls hanging off of you and wonder if i just wasn’t good enough. that’s why i’m mad.”

Quinn is silent for a few moments, maybe holding out to see if i’m done, maybe gathering his thoughts, but it’s eerily quiet. but then as quickly as the silence started, it ends.

“y/n.” he sighs my name, sounding exhausted. “if i knew how you felt, i would’ve tried to define what we were doing. i wasn’t sure what was happening, just that i liked spending time with you and i liked being close to you.”

“being close to me? or fucking me?” i ask him.

“both, y/n/n. is that what you wanna hear?” he’s getting frustrated, i can hear it. “yes. i liked fucking you. and i liked being with you. just us two. i’m sorry that i didn’t call you, i thought that’s how you wanted it. but, i see now that i should’ve talked to you about it instead of assuming. i didn’t realize that what we were doing meant so much to you. but you could’ve ended it at any point.”

“why would you think i would do that? that i would end it? i’m literally telling you right now that i wanted more.” i heave out a breath, dropping back onto the couch and pulling my legs up to my chest. “Quinn, i just wanted you to call me. to say something, i don’t know! say you had fun this summer, say you can’t wait to see me next summer, say you like me, say you hate me, anything. just don’t go silent on me and make me think i’m insane for thinking you like me as much as i like you.”

“i’m so sorry, y/n.” he mutters, i quiet and slow. “i should’ve talked to you. i should’ve told you that i felt the same. i should’ve thought about how you were feeling and not just me. but now that i know, i’d really like to try.”

“you would?” i inquire, keeping my antsy fingers busy by picking at a stray string on my hoodie. “how?”

“maybe… maybe you could come to one of my games? and we could go out to eat afterwards?” he sounds unsure, like maybe he’s afraid i’ll say no.

“like a date?” i ask meekly.

“yeah,” Quinn chuckles and my heart picks up at the sound. i’ve always loved his laugh. “exactly like a date.”

i’m quiet, my bottom lip captured between my teeth, holding back a squeal.

“what do you think?” he pipes up again, once again seeming nervous.

“i think, i’d really like that.” i confess before burying my face in a throw pillow beside me, muffling my excited scream.

when i raise the phone back to my ear, Quinn is laughing; apparently the pillow didn’t cover as much of noise as i thought it would.

“next friday, i have a game against Wisconsin, does that work?”

“sounds perfect.” i grin, nodding my head, even though he can’t see me.

“okay, i’ll see you then?”

“i’ll see you then.” i confirm.

“goodnight, y/n/n. i can’t wait to see you.” he tells me and i repeat a ‘goodnight’ before we hang up.

i look down at my dog, who stares at me with his head tilted.

“Ollie, you are a matchmaker.” i coo, scratching behind his ears. his mouth drops open, his tongue falling out in content as i dote on him.

**November 23rd, 2018**

today is the day.

i spent all morning getting ready; my hair is done, my makeup perfected, and i tried on about six different outfits before my mother told me to stop worrying and just go.

and after a three and a half hour drive, in which i had to pull over twice to shake myself out and get my jitters out; i’ve pulled into Yost Ice Arena with 10 minutes to spare before the game starts.

Quinn and i have texted non-stop since we planned tonight, and he assured me last night on the phone, that there’ll be a ticket waiting for me at the front.

pulling the keys from the ignition, i grab my purse and do a once-over of my face in the rearview mirror before exiting the vehicle. stretching my legs, i make my way inside the arena, stopping to get my ticket before i head in towards the seating.

i’m sat towards the middle, a perfect view of the ice. my legs shake in anxiety as the crowd roars, the players filing on the ice and getting faceoff position.

it’s amazing how much i’ve learned about hockey in the past four years of knowing the Hughes’.

it’s a rather uneventful first period, neither team scoring. the second isn’t much better, Wisconsin scoring once mere minutes into the period, but that’s the only goal. Michigan ties it up in the third, with Quinn landing an assist on the goal, and i’m shaking in nervousness as i hope for a second Michigan goal. but it never comes.

moving onto overtime, neither team scores, resulting in a tie. but the teams still go on, starting a second overtime of three-on-three to determine who gets the extra point. it’s not even a minute into the second overtime when Quinn passes the puck to Josh Norris, who i’ve met once or twice at the lake house, and Josh lands the puck in the back of the net.

the crowd goes wild, me included, jumping up to our feet and cheering as the guys celebrate.

both teams file off of the ice relatively quick, and in result, the crowd begins to fan out. fans leaving the arena. but i stay back.

Quinn told me to meet him out front of the arena in half an hour, so i opt to lounge here for an extra few to kill time, scrolling through instagram and reading Jack’s texts; asking why i’m in Ann Arbor and if i plan to come see him before i leave. stupid Life360.

i call him rather than text, making my way out of the arena as he picks up.

“what are you doing in Ann Arbor?” he cuts straight to the point, not bothering with any catch up.

“well hello to you too.” i chuckle, rolling my eyes.

“yeah, yeah, hi. what are doing in Ann Arbor?” he repeats.

“i came to see Quinn’s game. i promise, i’ll come and see you tomorrow morning before i drive back home.” i assure him. “wait, are you even gonna be back from Illinois in the morning?”

“yeah, we’re on the bus back now.” he assures me.

“okay, good. i saw online that you got an assist! congrats bub!”

“thanks. we still lost though.” he tells me, his voice full of dejection.

“you’ll get ‘em next time!” i reassure, pacing outside Yost, pulling my jacket tighter to my chest to keep myself warm in the cool Michigan air.

“yeah.” he breaths. “so why are you at Quinn’s game?”

his tone is teasing, as though he doesn’t actually believe i’m here for Quinn.

“we’re going on a date.” i admit, preparing myself for his response.

“oooh! you’re finally getting out of the friendzone?!” he exclaims, and i can hear Trevor’s voice chime in from beside him, telling him to quiet down. which i find ironic, considering Trevor is ever the loud mouth.

“what?! you knew i liked him?!” i question, making him chuckle.

“uh, yeah. it was so obvious.” he replies through laughter. “i also know you were hooking up with him this summer. you weren’t very subtle.”

my jaw drops in astonishment.

“we were so subtle!” i shout, and i can hear Trevor piping up again on the other side of the phone.

“who? y/n and Quinn? oh yeah, everyone knew.”

“shut up, Zegras!” i yell, and i can hear both boys bark out in laughter.

“why didn’t you say anything?” i ask.

“who was i to say something, when you were trying so hard to keep it on the down low?” he teases.

i look up from my pacing feet when i hear footsteps, locking eyes with Quinn, who smiles at the sight of me, nearly taking my breath away.

“i gotta go.” i breath out, and Jack lets out an immature ‘oooooooh’

“have fun with my brother!” he calls out and i groan.

“shut up. i’ll see you tomorrow.” i sing, before hanging up.

“my brother?” Quinn questions, as if he already knows the answer.

“yeah.” i nod. “apparently, i found out, we weren’t as subtle as we thought, in August.”

“we were so subtle!” he exclaims, making me giggle.

“that’s what i said!” i tell him. his hand reaches out towards mine, and i anxiously intertwine mine with his. “so, where are we going?”

“there’s a really cute diner, about a fifteen minute walk from here.” he explains, as we begin walking. “i figured we could go there.”

“sounds perfect.” i breath out. his eyes are glued to the cement, watching his feet, but i watch him. “congrats on the assists! i know a tie wasn’t really the outcome you guys were hoping for, but it was a riveting game.”

he laughs, his head dropping back, and a bright smile overtakes my lips at the melodious sound dropping from his.

“babe, there were only two goals in a full hour of game play.” he reminds me.

“babe?” i question, and his hand tightens around mine for a second.

“yeah.” he shrugs, attempting to seem nonchalant, but i can tell by his face, when he turns to me, that he’s nervous. “you’re my girl now.”

“i’m your girl?” i smirk. “i like the sound of that.”

“me too.” he brings us to a halt, turning his body to mine.

his hand rises to cup my cheek, his face lowering to mine until our breaths mingle together. my eyes flutter shut, slowly, and the next thing i know, his lips are crashing against mine in a deep kiss.

and i know, in this moment, i’ll do anything to keep him. because now, he’s mine to lose.