#honestly lately i've also been strugglign with like... okay i haven't actually talked about this to anyone yet but

[azems-familiar]

Not me seeing your latest reblog and going 'okay before I rb this myself' *puts on Lelesu fan hat and waves Lelesu flags and hollers from the sidelines everytime she appears in a fic* (I have a Corrain set too dw)

i appreciate that a lot!! really, i do. and i do, logically, know that the people who care about the stories i craft do like her; however, when i used to try harder to ingratiate myself in the established ffxiv community here on tumblr, i found that she got very overlooked - and i'm pretty sure that's because of a mix of reasons including her being a lalafell, in a straight-passing relationship, and having "boring" ship stuff going on. (the reason i say this is from observing various fandom trends, and also from experiences i've had with other ocs of mine in other fandoms, the things that tended to make people appreciate them vs not appreciate them.) and the other stuff i mentioned in the tags just kind of combines with that, and that plus my "controversial" opinions about parts of the msq and certain characters (yes i'm talking about the ancients/ascians/hydaelyn here) leaves me feeling kind of isolated from much in the way of community.

and like, it is what it is, of course. i've made some really good friends here who i'm super grateful to have! but the thoughts stick around.