#honestly i wanted to write more about how this support from everyone causes him to be confident enough to not wear a shirt

[rottenherbs]

Saint Like

Pairing: G.W x Reader Request: Would you write a George x reader where Molly doesn't like George's girlfriend and she's kind of mean towards her but when she sees reader take care of George after he loses his ear she starts to slowly accept her? W/C: 2.2k A/N: finally back to writing! Yippie!! That sickness actually was the worst I've had in years. [masterlist] Much love, Saige

It hurts to be dismissed by your boyfriend's mother. Year after year you arrive at his home, welcomed by others in his family, banter with his father, and simultaneously given the stark cold shoulder by the woman who gave him life.

It confused you to no end. She never supported the twins' endeavors; she consistently dismissed and shrouded any thought of their joke shop, practically banning any conversation of the idea in the burrow indefinitely. In her own world, Fred and George would magically wake up one day and decide that they wanted to pursue a career that was more lucrative. Her own fear of poverty inflamed her distaste in their aspirations — purely because it had the possibility of their own financial demise. She wanted better for her boys, and unfortunately you were the easy scapegoat to place blame.

It poked and prodded every nerve on you. You wanted nothing but success and love for George and his family, but you were seen as a threat to the possibilities that they might turn out… normal.

—

The climate of the wizarding world was beyond bleak. Everyday you rose to the sun, beyond blessed to be living another day, but filled with anxieties that it truly may be your last.

Your addition to the order was practically mandatory. With no ties to your parents it was easy for you to sign away your life for the greater good. Your heart lied with George and your friends and fighting next to them would be an honor.

As it came up on Harry’s seventeenth birthday, figuring out how to transport the boy became more trivial. The magical protection given to him by his mothers sacrifice would wear off and he would be more vulnerable to Voldemort than ever. Every movement or spell he made was under the view of the ministry and it had to be done with extreme caution.

The burrow was the next safest place for him, but getting him there bred confusion and limited options.

“What if we just had him apparate out?” Ron asked. The order sat around the kitchen table at the Burrow, just days before operation Free Potter.

”He is still underage Ron, it’ll be flagged immediately.” Hermione replied, rolling her eyes slightly. Ron shook his head.

”We’re already breaking the law, why not one more!” He chuffed, disappointed how easily his idea was shut down.

“Pius Thicknesse has gone over, which gives us a big problem.” Moody interrupted “He’s made it an imprisonable offence to connect this house to the Floo Network, place a Portkey here or apparate in or out.”

The table silenced at his arrival, everyone soaking in the new information and the loss of yet another helper on the inside.

“That’s pointless, he is protected anyway -“ You started. You were honestly just thinking out loud, soon realizing everyone’s eyes on you.

“All that’s done is stop Harry from leaving safely.” You coughed, attempting to find your voice again. Moody shook his head in agreement, those in the order all now speaking among themselves. George arrived at the kitchen taking a spot next to you. He nudged you quietly, smirking down at you.

“Anything juicy?” He whispered, leaning down. You smiled and shook your head no, leaning over to reply.

“Just all hobgobble about how we will get Harry here. Even moody is stumped.” You whispered. George scoffed.

“Moody stumped? Give him like 4 minutes, we’ll be out of here in no time.” He chuffed. The feeling of his hot breath tickled your neck, causing you to shiver slightly. Giggling, you looked over the room, unfortunately making eye contact with Mrs. Weasley. She pursed her lips and scowled.

“I think we ought not be distracted.” She stood, walking around the large table to the sink. She stood with her hands firmly on the ledge leaning away from the crowd. As much as you felt targeted by the statement she was right.

“Its risky but it’ll take cooperation… from all yous.” Moody thumped, his fake eye spiraling around the room. Thievery fell into a hush, waiting for what he had to reveal.

“Everyone will be a potter. As many heads as we can round up. They’ll be confused, won’t know who’s who.” He coughed, opening his flask and taking a swig.

“Polyjuice potion?” George asked. It was more of a rhetorical question of course, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

“Aye boy.” Moody nodded.

“They’ll just kill us all.” Molly shrieked, the idea of everyone now the face of the target became increasingly daunting.

“No they won’t Molly.” Remus coincided. “We ride on brooms, quietly through the night in groups eh” He raised his eyebrows, checking the feelings of the table. Most people nodded in agreement.

“It’s the order Molly. We’ve been in danger from the beginning. It’s not the time to become fearful.” Moody coughed, standing up from the table.

“One month from today. Stay vigilant.” Moody snapped from the room, leaving everyone in silence.

—

The month came and went in a flash. It felt as if the sky was grey every day since that meeting. No sign of summer or joy, only the steep consequences that were to come.

“Hi my love.” George purred from behind you. He wrapped his arms around your torso, resting his head on top of your.

“Hi.” You whispered, leaning back into his body. You both swung lightly in each other's arms enjoying the feeling of peace.

“They just got word of who’s flying.” He mumbled, keeping his head steady. You kept swaying, but your body stiffened slightly at his words.

“You’re going.” You sighed. You knew he would, and you kicked yourself daily for worrying about his demise. It wasn’t exactly a positive situation to be in, but your milling about danger wouldn’t help.

“I know you wish I could stay, but Fred and I fly well, and they need people who are confident in their brooms.” He murmured, rubbing your sides lovingly. He turned you around to face him, his cheeks warm with glow, beaming down at you.

“What am I doing?” You asked, holding his arms tightly. Part of you wished to be in the sky with him, as if your presence could protect.

“You, my beautiful bird-“ George leaned down, kissing your forehead after every word. “You are meant to stay here. Look for signs and send alerts back if anything happens.”

You didn’t respond, you just sighed and smiled.

“I know you wanted to go.” He whispered. “But it’ll be good. A good opportunity to help from the ground.” He smiled. You could tell he was trying to reassure you, his eyes darting between yours looking for any sign of disapproval.

“Okay.” You whispered, leaning up so your nose grazed his. “I’ll be waiting for you, and you better come back in one piece.”

—

The night finally arrived and you spent every waking moment with George. You hated to think it was your last time seeing him, but the reality was clear. Anything could happen tonight and you would be sure that it was spent with him.

After dinner, Moody arrived at the burrow rallying up those who were going.

“5 minutes and we must be out, got it?” He looked around the room, heads nodding in acceptance. He turned to you and Molly, softening his face.

“You two will be the first to know if anything happens. I will send a message once we have left the Dursleys, then we will be back here in approximately 30 minutes.” His eyes widened in question, looking for any look of approval between you two. You dare not look at Molly and keep eye contact with Moody.

“Yes sir.” You choked, the air in your chest seizing.

“Atta girl. Alrig’t move out.” Moody winked, turning on his heel and walking out of the room, numerous bodies following. George paused and jogged over to you, kissing your cheek and squeezing your hand before joining the fray.

Once everyone left the burrow became quiet. Molly soon looked for any way to busy her fingertips knowing she’d have to distract her mind or else she’d go mad. You stood by the window for a short period, looking at the sky and prairie out past the horizon looking for any sign of movement. Hearing a hefty sigh behind you, you turned to face the sound, already anticipating a lecture.

“Could you help me make supper? I bet they’ll be hungry when they get back.” Mrs. Weasley spoke softly, her back turned to you still maneuvering pots and pans in the kitchen. You nodded to yourself and took a deep breath in, walking over near her.

“Maybe start with the potato’s, rid the eyes and peel the skin for me.” She didn’t look at you, instead speaking into her hands, sniffling after ever few words. She wasn’t crying, but you could hear the trouble in her voice clear as day. Grabbing a peeler, you got to work, trying to pass the time as well.

“I hope you know I don’t .. loathe you like you may think.” She whispered, just loud enough so that you’d hear but quiet enough that the words don’t linger in the air.

You stood in silence, peeling the potatoes, confused entirely by her statement.

“I don’t think-“ you lied, thinking it was the right thing to counter, even deep down you felt that she thought you were better off dead most days.

“You have every right to think it.” She snuffed, pausing her work and biting her cheek. “I just….”

“I understand a mothers love.” You whispered, picking up another potato and holding it softly. “I understand wanting the best for your children, but ..” you choked. You didn’t know if you had the confidence to say yet another thing that would make her angry.

“But sometimes their best interest isn’t yours and it’s out of a mothers control what their adult children do.” You finished. You knew it was the truth, but on the heels of Percy abandoning the family it had to have stung just as hard.

Mrs. Weasley didn’t respond. She didn’t move her head or acknowledge your statement but stood and pondered what you said. You couldn’t tell if she was boiling with rage or the words finally penetrated the field of deep affection that clouded her judgement so.

Just from the window, a owl rapped the glass, begging to be let in.

“That’s them.” She muttered, wiping her hands on her apron and rushing over to let the owl in.

“Thirty minutes.” She sighed

“Thirty minutes.” You repeated.

Time moved extremely fast after that. You both were taking turns by the window to cool down your nerves with the cold night air. The meal was brewing magically on the stone and didn’t need the tender touch of either of you to finish. Even though very little was said between you two, it felt as if you had become closer because of tonight. At least, we understood a little more about each other retroactively.

The sound of loud snapping wood alerted you both that people were apperating at the burrow. Running out of the burrow, you locked eyes with Harry, who was barreling off of Harris’s motorbike, stumbling towards the house.

“Death Eaters, loads of them — we were chased —" Harry coughed, falling into Mrs. Weasley's arms. Your mind raced, searching the sky for any one else who would arrive.

“Death eaters-“ You whispered, fear overtaking your body. You could taste the adrenaline in your mouth, a sour foul feeling overcoming your every sense. Luckily the pain of unknowing was only for a moment more, as Lupin and George followed suit.

“George!” You cried, running over to the boy. His hand held the side of his head, blood was dripping down his shoulder and across his cheek.

“I’m okay im okay.” He mumbled, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and hoisting himself upon your small frame. You tugged his body indoors, flopping him on the family couch in the living room.

“It’s just my ear darling.” He smiled weakly, his face was pale from the loss of blood but still held your hand tightly. Mrs. Weasley quickly began to tend to her son, allowing you to hold his hand and be with him through it all. Even though you were slightly inconvenient to her tending, she dare not ask you to move. Both Fred and you had been tied together, your sobs uncontrollable.

“Honestly I think I’m way cuter without an ear. Don’t you think?” George tossed, rubbing your hand affectionately. Mrs. Weasley had successfully stopped the bleeding and bandaged what she could, leaving you both alone in the room. Just in the kitchen, Lupin and the order continued to talk about their now sudden loss of Moody and who could be trusted.

“It definitely makes you stand out.” You laughed, finally feeling comfortable in his state. You both smiled at each other, the everlasting admiration you had for him only grew, how resilient and fateful even in the face of death he had been.

“I’ll always get the last laugh-“

[angstywaifu]

Everyone Has Secrets - Aaric Graycastle

Request: Aaric x reader where the reader is a rider but also a princess of another Provence, but she kept it a secret from everyone because she ran away to be a rider to fight venin because she didn’t want her people to suffer. A/N: This is my first time writing for Aaric so I hope you guys like it. I've seen a few requests come in for him now so I'll definitely be working on them and hope to improve my writing for him.

Warnings: The below contains spoilers for Onyx Storm. If you have not read Onyx Storm do not read the below!

Masterlist | Support Me

“What’s up with you and Aaric?” Sloane whispers to me as Devera asks Violet about her trip.

“Nothing. Why’s that?” I ask as I look up at her.

“Because he’s been staring at you since he sat down. It’s like he’s trying to read your mind.” She informs me.

I turn my head and meet Aaric’s piercing green eyes. And Sloane is right. The way he’s looking at me is like he’s trying to figure something out. And it’s like me looking at him confirms what ever it is he needs, quickly turning his attention back to the front of the room. What was that about?

“Maybe he was trying to see if we were ok? He’s been gone a while.” I whisper back with a shrug.

She shakes her head. “No. This is something else.”

Devera turns her attention back to the rest of us, putting an end to our conversation. It doesn’t take long for me to feel Aaric’s eyes on me, but I don’t turn to meet them this time.

Something had clearly happened while he was away with Violet and the squad she had put together. But I had no way of telling what it was.

Throughout the rest of our classes I feel Aaric’s eyes on me every now and then. But I couldn’t pin point why. And it honestly had me on edge. I’d never seen Aaric like that towards anyone since our time here. I had planned to ask him what his problem was, but his seat at our table remains empty during dinner.

“We’re going to go train, want to come with?” Sloane asks me as we stand up from our table.

I shake my head. “I’m going to have an early one tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I tell her as I back away towards the dorms.

She just nods and lets me go, knowing Aaric’s weird mood towards me had put me on edge. I was glad she’d opted for the let me be approach rather than distract me with training or plotting how we could find out what was going on.

As I push through the door to the dorms, someone grabs me from behind, causing me to yelp which echoes in the empty hall. I turn around to fight back, grasping a dagger in my hand which hangs in the air once I see the familiar green eyes I’d felt on me all day. Green eyes that feel like they’re staring into my soul.

I open my mouth to ask him what the hell is going on, but he just drags me up the stairs to the first year floor and down to his room. He shoves me inside before closing the door behind us, leaning back against it to block any attempt I might make to leave.

“What the hell is going on?” I demand, wanting to know why his behaviour towards me had changed so much since his trip.

“Seems you’ve been keeping secrets. Princess.”

My eyes go wide at his words, my dinner threatening to make an appearance. Shit. How the hell did he know? No one knew where I was from. Nowhere in Navarre knew who I was. Unless… shit.

“Everyone has secrets.” I say with a shrug, trying to play it off.

“Oh trust me, I know.” He replies cockily, causing me to narrow my eyes at him. What the hell did that mean. “And you probably would have gotten away with yours if I hadn’t gone with Violet.”

“What are you going on about?”

He pushes off the door and walks over to his desk. Going through the bag he was yet to unpack from his trip. He pulls out a frame, holding it out to me. I grasp it in my hands, turning it over as dread washes over me. Staring back at me is a painting of me with my parents done not long before I’d left. The family Id left behind to come and do something. To protect them from a war that would more than likely come our way one day. There was no way I could deny what Aaric had figured out.

“I always thought your eye colour was unique. Such an interesting shade of blue. Sometimes looking purple when the light hit it them right.” He tells me as he leans up against the desk, watching me take in the photo. “So you can probably guess the shock I got when we land in Hedotis, and we’re greeted by people with the same coloured eyes. The same ones I’ve been looking at since July. And then when I go looking around, I find this sitting on a desk.”

I look up at him, not sure what to say or do. I had thought my secret would be safe forever. No one here had ever been to Hedotis, and I honestly thought no one would ever go there. But now Aaric stood in front of me, waiting for answers.

“What are you going to do? Force me to go back? Go get whatever reward they want for my return?” I snap at him, shoving the painting back at him.

He shakes his head as he places the painting next to him on the desk. “Fuck no. I want to know why though. I have my reasons, but what are yours? Why make that big of a journey to come here of all places?”

His reasons? What the hell did that mean? Pretty sure it was going to be my turn to interrogate him after this at this rate.

“Because I didn’t want to sit back and do nothing.” I tell him as I walk over to his window, looking out over the forest below. “I was sick of us turning a blind eye to what could potentially come our way. Pretending that everything was fine and blissful. When over the ocean, people were dying. I needed to make a difference, even if my parents wouldn’t. All they cared about was marrying me off to make alliances. Give another province an heir that would make them allied to us. Even though we would never back them up if they needed help. I needed to do something.”

Aaric doesn’t say a word. Silence falling over us. I turn around to see him looking at me, a smile pulling at the edges of his mouth.

“Good. Because honestly your people are kinda shit.” He jokes as he steps away from the desk to walk over to the door.

“Not so fast Aaric.” I say, causing him to turn and look at me with a cocked eyebrow. “Now it’s your turn. Why do you have your reasons?”

[marauder-misprint]

Hiiii!!! I think that's what everyone wants from you, but you're so good at it, so I'm going to ask you for Fem!reader x Sirius.

If you're comfortable with writing, I'd like to read about Sirius and the reader having a pureblood wedding with an "arranged marriage". Sirius would be strongly opposed to this idea, and to be honest, even though it's Sirius, the reader wouldn't like a forced marriage either. I am ready to read all kinds of happy and unhappy endings. I just love your imagination, if you write something like this, I would love it.

Hi! Thank you so much for this request! I literally wrote this in one evening because I got the storyline and needed to run with it. It's more story than dialogue, but I'm quite happy with how it turned out. I think the ending technically counts as happy. I hope you enjoy it

'Not a pawn'

Sirius Black x Fem!!reader

4.5k words

cw: angst, arranged marriage

You were thirteen when your parents told you about it. An arranged marriage with the eldest Black son. You knew him from school, and he wasn’t terrible. But it was the principle of the matter. You were directly told that there was no point to date while at Hogwarts, your husband was already chosen for you.

You frowned deeply. Your mother, with no concern for your displeasure, told you to stop it, frowning caused wrinkles. Of course, that was her only care. You had to be pristine to be a future matriarch of the house of Black. 

You often wondered how the arrangement came to be. Why had the Black family chosen you? Why had your family chosen them? Who reached out first? What did the other have to offer for it to come together? 

Obviously, your family had enough social status to even be considered. And it must be a hefty amount since Sirius started acting out the moment he tasted freedom at Hogwarts. You would’ve been daft to not know that the Black family needed someone to rein him in, redeem him even. Honestly, a portion of you felt honored that Walburga and Orion thought you had it in you. 

You had met them several times before the arrangement came to be. There had been socials and parties, the occasional ball and dinner. Pure blood families stuck together. You knew a large portion of those gatherings was for the adults to find pairs for their children. It was like the Black family motto, toujours pur: always pure. They believed that the wizarding bloodline couldn’t be tainted with muggle blood and so, marriages were made like deals. Your blood status reduced you to an item to be haggled over. 

From your limited interactions with Sirius, you knew he was no happier about the arrangement than you were. He was noticeably more upset. Furious even. You tried not to be insulted. You told yourself it wasn’t about you. Like it was you, it was about the principle. Except you thought that you should be able to marry for love and Sirius, well, he hated just about everything his parents stood for. He wanted nothing to do with his pure blood status, and therefore, nothing to do with you. So despite being betrothed to each other, you barely exchanged a word or glance while you were at school. 

His actions only supported how much he was against the idea of marrying you. While you focused on school and maintaining a perfect image, Sirius flirted with anyone deem tolerable and if someone managed to get into a relationship with him, it never lasted. He made it his mission to prove to everyone that he couldn’t be tied down, certainly not to you, someone picked by his parents. 

If you were honest with yourself, the arrangement didn’t feel real until your seventh year. Your parents started planning the wedding. It was to happen in early July after you graduated. Sirius running away before sixth year had raised concerns, but Walburga and Orion insisted that he was still to be your husband, no matter what his actions said. 

When classes started, you wrote to your parents to express your own concern about the arrangement. They brushed off your concerns and instructed you to let the adults handle it. Like you weren’t essentially an adult and to be married in a matter of months. It angered you. You hated that this large aspect of your life still felt like it was up in the air and no one would listen to your issues with it. You were one of the few within your friend group that was arranged to be married. Some of your friends were half blood or muggle born, so obviously, they wouldn’t be picked. Some of your pure blood friends’ families were more progressive and didn’t follow in that tradition. And your friends who had their lives planned out for them were paired with boys who didn’t put up a fight against it. 

You sought out the one person who would understand how you felt about it all: Sirius. 

You found him in the Astronomy Tower, enjoying the November evening. He didn’t hear you come up the stairs. He didn’t notice you until you were standing right next to him, leaning over the railing and looking wistfully at the ground. He raised his eyebrows in surprise before looking away, not bothering to say anything.

“We need to talk,” you said firmly after a few minutes of standing in silence.

“We do? That’s news to me,” he replied dryly.

You weren’t shocked that he had no intentions of talking with you. This was the closest you had been to each other physically since you were thirteen. Every social gathering that you happened to be at together, Sirius was on the other side of the room. He refused to be seen associating with you. He didn’t want it to appear like he was accepting his inevitable fate. 

“July. It’s coming whether we like it or not.” 

He barked out a cold laugh. “We. Like you aren’t pleased with the matching.” 

“Could’ve been with someone worse, you’re right,” you said. “It’s more the… being told who I have to marry that I have a problem with.”

Sirius didn’t respond. He continued staring out across the school grounds. You took it as a sign to keep talking, although you knew deep down that Sirius would’ve just liked you to leave him alone.

“It doesn’t seem like we have any way out of it. And I figure, if we’re going to be together for the rest of our lives, we might as well get to know each other? It’d make the situation less unbearable.”

“We won’t be spending the rest of our lives together. Don’t bother getting your hopes up.”

You hummed a response. “Your parents seem to think it’s happening.”

“They’re wrong.” He spoke with such finality that you almost believed him. 

You let silence fall between you for a minute. The biting cold wind drove you to wrap your scarf tighter around your neck, and then your robe. Sirius, on the other hand, didn’t seem to mind it. He wasn’t wearing a scarf or gloves and his robes were discarded somewhere behind him. 

“Did they ever talk to you about it?” you asked. Your voice was barely above a whisper and if you weren’t standing right next to him, he probably wouldn’t have heard you.

“Walburga and Orion don’t talk.” He gave you a sharp look. “Just like I’m sure your parents didn’t talk to you about it.”

“We’ve… conversed,” you said slowly, as if it meant anything more than what it was.

He tutted. “Right. And did they listen to anything you had to say?”

“No.”

“Precisely.”

You clenched your fists. You wanted to talk to Sirius, to somehow make your life after Hogwarts have some semblance of happiness. But this man beside you was a stranger to you and he didn’t seem interested in talking. You kept trying for your own sake.

“Why do you seem so convinced that July isn’t happening?”

“The month will come. Time passes.” 

You rolled your eyes and turned your shoulders so you were facing him. 

“The wedding, Black. Our marriage.”

“Can’t marry a bloke who’s not there.”

“You’re just not going to show up?” 

He nodded, reaching into his pocket to pull out a cartridge of cigarettes. He pulled one out and offered the pack to you. You shook your head. He pocketed it and lit the one in his mouth with a snap of his fingers. You watched as he inhaled, held the smoke in his lungs for a moment, and then blew it out into the night. 

“Have you thought about how you not showing up would affect me?” 

“Don’t really care.” 

You scoffed. “Maybe you should. My entire future depends on you showing up.”

More frustrated with the world than when you first climbed the Astronomy Tower, you turned and left Sirius. Although, now you had something real to consider. What would happen if Sirius really did refuse to show up? How far would your families go into the planning and actual production of a ceremony before realizing that you would be walking up the aisle alone with no one waiting for you at the altar? You knew they couldn’t even fall back on Regulus as a back up; he had already been promised to someone else and they seemed like an agreeable match. 

You let yourself fall into a dream of what you would do if you weren’t the future Mrs. Black. You’d actually have to find a job. It wouldn't be too huge of a problem given your grades and dedication to your studies, but it was something you hadn’t put too much thought into. You’d have the opportunity to act on crushes you’ve harbored over the years. You’d have a freedom to do whatever you pleased, a feeling that you hadn’t had since your second year of schooling. 

All of this dreaming, of course, was also relying on your parents not scrambling to find you another suitor. Some last minute younger sibling of another pure blood family who they hadn’t bothered finding a partner for. That thought was worse than the idea of marrying Sirius for some reason, even though he clearly didn’t want to be your husband. 

You let Sirius be for a while. You didn’t try talking to him leading up to Christmas break. You went home to find your mother in full planning mode. Instead of a restful break or one filled with endless studying to ensure that you ace your N.E.W.T. exams, you assisted your mother in planning a wedding you weren’t sure was going to happen. The brief two weeks were filled with deciding flowers, testing cake flavors, making an invite list, and the most surreal of it all, trying on dresses. Your mother said she would keep you up to date as far as planning went. She assured you that once your exams were over and graduation passed, the month of June would fly by. She said that like it should be comforting. Exciting. Thrilling. A bunch of things except the dread and fear that burned inside of you. 

You found Sirius again. He was in the greenhouses. You didn’t want to assume that he was hiding from someone, but he had that look to him. If you didn’t think too hard on it, it was easy to believe that he was hiding from you, although you hadn’t publicly announced that you were looking for him again.

“I have a dress,” you said as you approached where he was sitting on the upper level of greenhouse #4. 

“Congrats, I guess,” he said with a tinge of confusion to his voice. Like he didn’t know what you were talking about.

You sat down next to him, your rehearsed neutral expression practically etched into your features.

“A white one. For July.”

“Who’s the lucky bastard?” 

“You.” 

The air between you was tense but both of you spoke with uninterested tones. 

“I don’t recall asking you to be mine.” Just like last time, he barely turned his head to glance at you. His eyes were trained on the tinted glass ceiling. 

“Everyone but you is certain that this union is happening. Everything is set in motion. Can you at least humor me? Pretend to care?” Your voice had a hint of desperation but you were quick to cover it. “You wouldn’t leave a girl at the altar, would you?”

Sirius rolled his eyes, but you knew you got his attention. He sat up and faced you with a frown as deep as the one you had when your parents first told you that you were being forced to marry him.

“I won’t be leaving you at the altar. You won’t be walking down an aisle toward me. Got it, princess?” 

“And what makes you think that?”

“I know that because I am not a pawn for my parents to use for their personal gain. I have my own plans for after graduation. You should make your own.” He stood and took a step to walk away. Then he looked back at you. “Remus says you’re a bright girl. Don’t waste it on waiting around for a wedding that’s not happening.” 

Then he left. He disappeared down the stairs and you heard doors open and close as he passed through them. You lingered in the warmth of the greenhouse. You considered Sirius’ words, just like last time. You wished you possessed the ability to walk away from the situation like he did. 

Could you? Besides many of your physical belongings being at your parents’ house, what would happen if you didn’t return after graduation? Did you have the ability to get your own flat somewhere in London and find a job and leave your parents and family behind? Why did you feel a sense of duty to your parents and marrying a man they chose? 

You groaned and leaned back. Guilt washed over you. You hadn’t done anything but considered leaving your family behind for a world of freedom, yet it was enough to make your heart clench. 

Sirius began truly avoiding you. In the classes you had together, he made sure to always be on the other side of the room. He changed the routes he took to each class. If he happened to be in the library when you walked in, he left. He sat as far away from you during meal times as he could. 

He didn’t need to avoid you for the most part. You wanted to seek him out and try talking to him again so you could understand where he was coming from, how he thought. Something inside of you kept saying that if you talked to him again, you would feel the urge to abandon your family again, and that filled you with endless guilt. You had a duty to your family. That much was reminded to you every time your mother wrote to you. 

The spring term both dragged on and flew by at the same time. It was too short and too long. It was the end of your time at Hogwarts, and that meant you would no longer be seeing your friends every day. You’d be going out into what you called the real world soon. It felt like everything you did was for the last time. But the end of your time at school meant N.E.W.T.s and endless assignments. Professors assigned essay after essay. They required revisions and reviews. Each professor was determined that every single one of their students would pass. So your fleeting time within the castle was taken up surrounded by books and piles of parchment. You swore you went through more inkwells in those last few months than you did in the previous six years. 

Then the exams came and went. You were given a brief break from the bustle of everything. School was over. You had no more lessons to attend. No more assignments to return for a grade. No more endless studying and practicing spells, some of which you were certain you would never use outside of the castle walls. 

Graduation loomed ahead. 

Your respite was short lived. Too soon parents were descending on the grounds for the graduation ceremony. Before the ceremony, you spent time with your friends. This was it. The end of it all. It was an emotional time for everyone. Afterwards, you greeted your parents and Walburga and Orion. You didn’t know why you were surprised that they came. From what you knew, Sirius hadn’t actually talked to them since he ran away. You looked around for him as you stood next to the four older adults. Sirius was with the Potters, as you should have expected. He didn’t look your way once. The Blacks offered your their congratulations and told you that they were looking forward to someone of your intellectual caliber joining their family. 

So, they clearly thought the marriage was happening. Even with their son a short distance away and refusing to acknowledge them. 

After all of the festivities were finished, the parents went home and the graduates returned to their dorm for one last night in the castle. You yearned to find Sirius. You needed to know for certain that he wouldn’t be showing up in July. But, instead, you sat on your bed. Legs crossed and hands clasped, you sat. You stared at your mostly packed trunk. You stared at the empty walls that had once been adorned with various posters and photos. You stared out the window, a view you had grown so accustomed to. Your roommates were all in the common room having a final hurrah. You couldn’t be bothered to attend. You knew you might regret not having gone in later years, but right now, you needed to be with your thoughts.

You went home the next day. The train ride, despite taking all day, was too short. The ride back to your family’s home was filled with your mother summarizing the wedding plans, everything finished and finalized to the smaller details that still needed to be set in stone. You stared out the window, not bothering to entertain her. You listened, of course, but you offered no insight or opinions. 

And that was just a brief look into what the next month of your life was. Everything from that day onward orbited the wedding. Your thoughts, as they should have been, were on Sirius. In an alternate universe, these thoughts would have been filled with excitement about marrying a fine young man of excellent standing. In this other world, you would be thrilled for the start of the rest of your life. But it wasn’t another world. Your reality had your mind repeating the sentiments he voiced the two times he spoke to you. 

‘I am not a pawn.’

Were you a pawn? Was all of this for your parents’ personal gain and nothing for you? What was going to happen because you felt pretty sure that Sirius wouldn’t be there, no matter what the older adults thought? 

I am not a pawn.

This time, it was you thinking it. It was less than a week before your supposed wedding. In that other reality, it would be called getting cold feet, but you told yourself that you were coming to your senses. 

You packed a bag. You placed an undetectable extension charm on it so you could take as many of your belongings as you desired. You moved quietly throughout your room, but you kept moving. You knew if you stopped for a moment, you would change your mind. Your resolve would crumble if you hesitated. 

You listened for the conversation coming from the dining room. Your mother and father were going over the seating chart for the umpteenth time. As you stood outside the room, you heard your mother complaining about her sisters and how they got into a row two days ago and could not be seated anywhere near each other. Without seeing his face, you knew your father had his own rehearsed neutral expression. He was without a doubt tired of the conversation and all the wedding details. With you at school, he had had to endure the never ending lectures about flowers and colors and who had RSVP’d and what meal choices they requested.  

When your mother asked your father’s siblings, you took your chance. You slipped out the front door and started walking. You needed to put a little bit of distance between you and the house before you went where you weren’t certain you’d be welcome. 

You ducked into an alleyway in the nearby muggle village. You steadied yourself. You had to remind yourself that your parents were deep in discussion. It was after dinner. You usually remained in your room alone for the night. Your disappearance wouldn’t be noticed until morning when your mother would without a doubt go to chastise you about not rising early for breakfast. You took a deep breath and then apparated. 

You stood on the front step at the Potter Estate. You swallowed thickly. Your heart was pounding in your chest as you raised a shaky hand to knock on the door. You honestly felt like you were about to pass out from the nerve of doing this. 

No one answered the door for a minute. You shouldn’t have come. You knew you shouldn’t have. You should have stayed and been a dutiful daughter. You should have taken the shame of having a betrothed not show up to the wedding head on. 

Then it got worse. Sirius opened the door. 

He stood there, mouth gaping at the sight of you on the Potters’ step. 

“Did they send you to collect me?” he asked. He sounded so disinterested.

You didn’t know how to answer. You couldn’t bring yourself to say that no, you hadn’t been sent. You came of your own free will, seeking the freedom that he had. You just stood there with a bag over your shoulder. 

“Oi, Padfoot, who is it?” James’ voice rang from inside the house. 

“I’m not going to marry you,” Sirius said firmly, not answering his friend.

“I’m not asking you to. Can… can I come in?” You found your voice, but it was weak. You felt like you were going to cry. 

Sirius stepped aside and gestured for you to enter. You nodded. He closed the door behind you and then led you to the living room where James was lounging on a couch.

“Why’re you here?” James asked, sitting up slightly at the sight of you. 

“I…” you tried to speak, but this time your voice failed you. 

You stood there awkwardly. You hugged yourself as if that would render some courage so that you could explain why you appeared at the Potters’ house days before your wedding. A wedding that was doomed before it was even planned. 

“She asked to come in,” Sirius told James as he took a seat in an armchair next to James. 

A woman’s voice sounded from a different room. “James, Sirius, is someone here?”

“Just someone from school, Mum!” James yelled. 

There was no response from the woman and the two boys watched you carefully as you remained still. You didn’t know how to explain anything.

“Well?” James asked pointedly. “Why’re you here?” 

“I-I… I needed somewhere to go.” 

That was it. Tears started to fall down your face. You couldn’t stop them. You weren’t really sure why you were crying, but you were. You felt drained and confused and here you were, standing in a strange house that you really shouldn’t be in. You let yourself fall to the ground. You hugged your knees to your chest as you tried to collect yourself.

“Mum?” James called to his mother. “Can you come ‘ere?”

There was the scraping sound of a chair being shoved backwards. Then a woman who must’ve been James’ mother appeared in the doorway. She gasped and moved toward you, crouching when she got close enough to you. She ran a gentle hand over your forehead, brushing your hair out of your face. She shushed you with a motherly warmness that you hadn’t felt from your mother since you were a small child. 

“What’s wrong, dear?”

“Everything,” you sobbed.

Your vision was blurred from tears. You couldn’t see James and Sirius exchanging uncomfortable glances as Mrs. Potter concerned herself with you. Then she looked back at them.

“You said she’s from school?” 

Sirius cleared his throat. “She’s… erm, she’s the one I’m supposed to be marrying in a few days.”

“Oh.” It was vital information to Mrs. Potter. She turned back to you. “Would you like some tea?” 

You could barely bring yourself to nod. She helped you up and with a gentle grip, she led you into the kitchen where she had been before. James and Sirius, still very unsure about the whole situation, followed. While Mrs. Potter put a kettle on the stove and gathered four mugs, the three of you sat at the table. Your bag sat on the ground next to your chair. Tears no longer streamed down your face but your breathing was still ragged. 

When it was ready, Mrs. Potter served the tea and offered cream and sugar. Then the four of you sipped your teas quietly. After a minute when your breathing sounded more even, Mrs. Potter spoke.

“Are you here for Sirius?” 

You shook your head. 

“I… I’m here because of him.”

Mrs. Potter looked at you with a look of comforting encouragement. It was a silent urge to continue while the boys stared at you. As little as you talked to Sirius over the years, you had talked to James less. The oddity of you being inside the Potter Estate was immense.

“He got away,” you said slowly, putting space in between each word. “He left it all behind and… I want to do that too.” You swallowed and forced yourself to look Sirius and then at Mrs. Potter. “He came here. I didn’t know where else to go.”

Mrs. Potter nodded. The boys’ stares persisted although they held something else in them. It was a different feeling that took over the table. You weren’t here to try to get Sirius to marry you. No. You were trying to escape the grasp of your parents. 

“I’ll set up a room for you.”

That was it. Mrs. Potter left you alone in the kitchen with the boys. You would have somewhere to spend the night and you could figure out what you were going to do tomorrow. There was a thickness to the silence that fell over the kitchen, but the boys didn’t leave you alone. They sat there, drinking their tea with you. They remained in the kitchen when Mrs. Potter came back to collect you to show you where you’d be spending the night. You thanked her. 

When she returned to the kitchen, she asked the boys what they knew about the situation and you in general. It wasn’t much, but it was more than you had been able to say. It seemed to be understood that everything would need to be discussed more tomorrow. She bid the boys good night and reminded them not to stay up too late.

James and Sirius sat in silence in the kitchen. Neither knew what to say. Their evening of movie watching was disrupted and now they didn’t know what to do. When they finished their tea, they placed their mugs in the sink. James went to his room, but Sirius stopped by yours. He knocked and stepped just into the room when you responded.

“Leaving’s the first step, you know,” he said. He had a soft smile on his face like he was proud of you. “Congrats on getting out.” 

“We’re not pawns,” you said quietly. 

Sirius’ smile widened at that.

“That we are not. Get some sleep.”

[mrsshabana]

𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐨𝐨 𝐋𝐚𝐭𝐞

ꔫ‧₊ Content Gyutaro x female!reader, age difference, angst, fluff, daddy issues, mommy issues, modern au ꔫ‧₊ Note 5k words. I want to thank everyone who was so excited for this fic, your kind words really encouraged me to write so much! I hope you enjoy it and keep an eye out for chapter two ♡ ✧:･ﾟ→ Part two ✧:･ﾟ→ Part three

This is the most exciting thing that’s happened in Gyutaro’s pathetic life since his sister was accepted into college. 

His life is nothing special really, and it never has been. Always taking care of his little sister was his number one priority so his needs and wants were always put on the back burner. Not like he had much of a choice anyway. With a face like that, how are you supposed to get anywhere in life? He’s thirty-five and has never had a romantic partner, but no surprise there. His personality is unpleasant and he doesn’t have much going for him. His job is alright and he can afford to support himself and his sister but that’s about it. 

By now he’s come to accept the fact that some things just aren’t in the cards for him. Things like a wife and maybe even kids. As he got older he found himself longing for these things more and more. Especially when he witnessed all of his friends getting married and starting families of their own. But now at his age, no woman would want to get with him, let alone start a family.

At first, he was mad at the world and everyone in it. It wasn’t fair that he was denied love just because he had a few spots on his face, crooked teeth, and was a bit rough around the edges. The jealousy and anger ate at him for many years, causing his personality to become bitter and cold. On the outside, he seems like the kind of guy who wouldn’t care about love, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. Since he grew up without receiving any love from his mother, it was always something that he craved, even as an adult.

But he grew up, and he had no choice but to realize this was his reality and there was no changing it. It was hard to accept, but he’s finally come to peace with it. At least he has Ume, and honestly, he’s grateful for that. 

But now, you came into his life and things are beginning to take an interesting turn. 

You’re Ume’s friend from college, she’s a year older than you but you got to know her well in one of your math classes. Ume hates math so she waited until her senior year to take it, which she is starting to regret now. The only upside to the situation is that she met you.

Having gotten pretty close to Ume over the course of the semester, she would often invite you over to her place. You’ve heard her talk about her brother before but you had never met him since he was usually at work when you came over. But when you saw him for the first time, he wasn’t what you had expected. He looked a lot different than the image you had in your mind and he was a lot less friendly than Ume had described him. But even though most of the time he was in a bad mood, he’d be polite to you for the brief moments he was around. 

The first thing you noticed about him was how tall he was and how deep and raspy his voice sounded. It was oddly attractive, especially when paired with his messy black hair. You knew he was older than Ume but he didn’t look that old. The only thing that maybe signified his age were the dark circles around his eyes, probably from being overworked. 

Gyutaro never expected to get close to his little sister’s best friend. It’s something he never would have considered, but your actions are causing him to rethink his stance on your almost nonexistent relationship.

.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚.

One night you’re studying over at Ume’s place again. The two of you sit in the dining room, with notebooks, pens, and textbooks spread across the table. Midterms are coming up so you’re trying really hard to get some studying done. Even though Ume keeps getting distracted and scrolling through TikTok.

You’ve almost lost your sanity with this study session when you hear the front door unlocking. 

Gyutaro, looking as tired as usual, walks into the house. Kicking off his shoes and throwing his bag on the floor. He barely even acknowledges you as he walks past saying, “Girls, can you please clean the table.”

“Mm hm,” Ume hums as she continues looking at her phone screen. 

He knows she isn’t going to do as he asks, but he always asks anyway. Today has been a long day and Gyutaro just wishes he could go to sleep but he knows he has a household to take care of. So he hurriedly rushes over to the bathroom and takes a quick shower. Coming out with messy damp hair and a towel wrapped around his waist. He goes straight to his bedroom, but you manage to catch a glimpse of him through the hall. 

The way his long hair sticks to his muscled shoulders and back distracts you. And even after he’s gone from your sight, the heavenly image is still stuck in your mind. 

“Will I ever get a break?” he thinks to himself as he puts on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, “As soon as I’m done cooking I’m passing out.” It’s only 8 pm but after another overtime shift, he’s pooped. Ume’s lucky he loves her so much, or else he would just make her eat a Lean Cuisine for dinner.

He doesn’t even bother to brush his hair and just heads straight towards the kitchen. But on his way, he’s met with something that surprises him. 

“You actually cleaned the table?” he says in shock.

“No, she did,” Ume points to you without even looking up from her phone. 

Gyutaro scowls and hits Ume in the back of the head with a rolled-up newspaper, “What’s the matter with you? It’s rude to make your guest clean!”

“Hey!! Cut it out!! I didn’t tell her to, she did it on her own!” Ume whines.

“Still, you should have cleaned it yourself,” he grumbles and throws the newspaper to the side, “Y/N, I’m sorry. Please stay for dinner, that’s the least I could offer you for helping my sister since she’s too lazy to do anything on her own.”

“No no, it’s ok! I don’t want to put more work on your plate -”

“I insist,” he smiles and begins preparing the ingredients. 

Ume pays no attention to the matter, as you admire her brother while he works away in the kitchen. Grabbing a beer from the fridge, he takes a sip and sighs before he begins washing some vegetables. 

You sit there and stare at his muscles, admiring the way they move along with noticing the tattoo on his upper arm. The way his hair falls in his face, and he tries to push it away with his wrist while his hands hold ingredients. 

This is something you’ve never had before. A man who takes care of you. It’s something new for you, and quite frankly you’re a bit jealous of Ume. It must be nice to have someone who takes care of her like Gyutaro does. Especially since your father was never around, it feels comforting being in this kind of atmosphere with Gyutaro and his sister. 

The loud clattering of metal hitting the floor snaps you out of the trance you were in. It seems that Gyutaro dropped a knife because he had almost fallen asleep. You can see his eyes closing slowly as he shakes his head in an attempt to wake himself up. Even though you barely know him, the sight makes you feel bad for him. He must be so exhausted, yet he’s determined to make dinner for his little sister. 

“Hey, do you need any help?” you ask as you walk into the kitchen. 

“N-no, thank you though.” He tries to brush you off and continue cooking but you stop him, grabbing his wrist and taking the utensils out of his hand. “It’s ok really, you seem exhausted. Plus I like cooking so it’s no biggie!” You smile and try to lead him away from the kitchen.

“What? No! You’re our guest it’d be rud-”

“Onii-chan just let her do it! She’s offering, stop being so stubborn!” Ume chimes in.

“Don’t worry, I don’t think you’re a bad host. You’ve been nothing but welcoming to me, I just want to help out,” you lead him over to the couch and force him to sit down, “Everyone deserves a break once in a while.”

“But I-” his sentence trails off as he watches you walk away, not giving him any say in the matter. He feels incredibly guilty for letting you cook. But his body is too tired to fight it, and you no longer hear any complaints from him.

Looking around the kitchen you scan what Gyutaro had set up. There’s a pot of boiling water on the stove, a pan with oil in it, some half-cut tomatoes, a box of pasta, and an unopened package of meat. You can only assume that he was trying to make spaghetti. Luckily for you, it’s easy enough and something you’ve made countless times before. 

After about 30 minutes you have all of the food prepared. You make a plate for yourself, Ume, and Gyutaro. 

“Thanks, Y/N!” Ume exclaims as she finally puts down her phone and takes her plate. 

Next, you walk over to Gyutaro to give him his food, but he’s already passed out on the couch. The bottle of beer still in his hand, half full. 

“Poor thing,” you whisper to yourself, “Guess it’ll just be Ume and I for now.” You take the plate to the table and eat with Ume, opting that it’s probably best to let Gyutaro sleep. 

.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚.

His stomach rumbles and his eyes are heavy as he slowly opens them, looking around at his surroundings. Confused for a moment as he forgot where he was. The living room is dark and quiet and he can’t quite remember why or how he fell asleep here. 

But then he looks over at the coffee table and remembers everything. His bottle is placed aptly beside a plate full of delicious looking pasta. Neatly wrapped in plastic wrap with a note reading, Enjoy! :)

“No way,” he mumbles as he tears off the plastic and begins to dig in. His eyes roll to the back of his head when the delicious food hits his tongue. Things taste so much better when someone else makes them. And honestly, he can’t recall how many years it’s been since someone has cooked him a meal. Five? Possibly ten? Either way, he savors the moment.

.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚.

That meal has been on Gyutaro’s mind for days now. Never forgetting the taste and the gratifying feeling of eating a meal that was carefully prepared by someone else. It was amazing. And you’ve been on his mind ever since that night.

He told Ume to thank you since he didn’t have your number, and he really hopes she actually did it and didn’t just blow him off like she usually does.

As he drives home from work he can’t help but think of how nice it would be to come home to one of your home-cooked meals. It’s become a fantasy of his to imagine this on his drives home after a long shift. The thought brings him some comfort even though he knows it will never become a reality.

And just as he was driving through downtown he saw someone familiar. It was you, standing beneath one of the street lights as a strange man loomed over you. He appeared to be talking to you, but your body language looked as if you were very uncomfortable with the situation. 

The strange man appeared to be around Gyutaro’s age and all he could think was, “C’mon man, you’re too old to be doing this shit to a young girl. You should know better.” He rolls his eyes and pulls over next to the sidewalk. 

With a deep, tired sigh, he gets out of the car and yells, “Hey Y/N! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” 

At first, the sudden voice calling out to you startles you, but as soon as you see that it’s Ume’s brother you feel like you’ve been saved. The strange man looks over at Gyutaro too, giving him a confused look.

“We’re gonna be late for that movie,” Gyutaro smiles as if everything is normal and walks up to you, “Oh, who’s this? Do I know this guy?”

“Uh n-no, I don’t think you know him,” you say nervously. 

Gyutaro nods and takes your hand, “Sorry man, but we gotta go. We’re gonna miss the premier if we don’t get going now.” 

The stranger seems convinced and walks off as Gyutaro leads you back to his car. Opening the door for you, as he watches the man walk away. Making sure he’s gone for good. 

You don’t hesitate to get into his car, a huge wave of relief washing over you once you’re safely inside. 

As soon as Gyutaro gets into the car he scolds you, “What the hell were you doing out here by yourself?” His eyes scan your form, and he notices you’re wearing a short dress.

“I was out with some friends,” you say shyly, “and I wanted to go home, but everyone else wanted to stay out…” 

He sighs and starts the car, “You can’t walk around like that, creepy guys are gonna flock towards you. It’s dangerous.”

“I know, I was so stupid for doing that… B-but thank you so much for helping me, Gyutaro! You really saved me there,” you feel tears well up in your eyes as you imagine what might have happened to you if Gyutaro never showed up. 

“Hey hey, it’s alright,” his expression softens, “You’re ok now, that’s all that matters. And from now on if you need a ride just call me, ok?”

“R-really? I don’t want to inconvenience you or anything…”

“Don’t worry about it, you’re Ume’s friend. I’d do it for Ume so I’d do it for you too. Besides, I work around here so it’s no big deal,” he smiles and hands you his phone so you can put your number in.

“Thanks. Ume’s really lucky to have a big brother like you,” you say as you finish creating your contact in his phone.

“I try my best I guess, heh if only Ume heard you say that. Anyway, where do you live?”

“Oh, right! It’s super close to here,” you type the directions into his phone navigation, “I really owe you for this, Gyutaro! What can I do to make it up to you?”

“Wh-what? No no no, you don’t have to do anything,” he gets a bit flustered as he begins driving towards your place. 

“Come on! You did so much for me, it’s the least I could do! Ooh, how about I cook something for you?” You raise your eyebrows and smile, trying to convince him. 

When he hears your plea, it’s like his prayers were answered. 

“... well, I can’t say no to that.”

.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚.

The long-awaited day has finally come. The day that you will bring over some home-cooked meals to Gyutaro’s house. He’s been anticipating this ever since you promised it to him.

You come over holding tons of containers of food, much more than he had expected. 

“Woah, let me help you,” he says as he holds the front door open and takes one of the bags out of your hand.

“Ah, thanks. I didn’t realize how much food I made until I had to pack it all up,” you laugh and walk into his home. Placing the food on the table, you neatly snack boxes of prepared meals. 

“What’s all this?” he asks, a bit confused. He was expecting you to bring over a big container full of food, not a bunch of small ones. 

“I know you work a lot and stuff. So, I thought it’d be better if I packed everything up into individual meals so you can just grab them and take them to work. Less prep work for you. I hope that’s alright…”

Gyutaro is truly left speechless, unable to believe that you not only put so much effort into this but also so much consideration as well. Still in disbelief, he takes one of the neatly packed boxes and opens it up. Inside he’s met with a delicious meal separated neatly, and even a small dessert tucked into the side. The sight is beautiful, but the smell is what really makes him salivate. 

“Wow,” he smiles, “I-I don’t know what to say. This is amazing, thank you.” 

He begins to choke up. After so many years of taking care of his sister, always worrying about her needs, caring for her, stepping up and being that guardian that she needed, never once did someone stop to ask him what he wanted. Let alone go out of their way to take care of him. And for once, just once, he gets a taste of what it feels like to be cared for. Nurtured. And it’s a feeling he wishes he never had to let go of.

All of the emotions he’s kept in for so long finally pour out of him. Your kindness and consideration force his walls to crumble. And his eyes begin to water as he pinches the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes in an attempt to stop his tears. 

“Hey, are you alright?” You ask as you immediately notice that something isn’t right.

It takes him a moment to compose himself, “I-I’m ok,” he rasps, “Just… I really appreciate you doing this. It’s been so long since someone has done something for me…”

“Well, you deserve it,��� you smile and try to comfort him by rubbing his back, “I can tell you work really hard. My mom is the same way. So I understand.”

“Thanks,” he smiles and quickly composes himself, “A-Anyway, I’m going to try one right now. It smells great.” He quickly tries to change the subject partially because he’s embarrassed, but also because he genuinely cannot wait to taste your cooking again.

The food still feels warm so he rushes into the kitchen to grab a fork, and he sits at the table and digs in. Immediately as the food hits his tongue he lets out a groan of satisfaction. 

“Mmph, ooh my god,” he says right before he shoves another spoonful into his mouth, “so good!”

“I’m glad you like it,” you smile and sit beside him at the table, “These recipes are super easy and budget-friendly, so I can give them to you if you want.”

“Please! Mmph, that’d be great,” he swallows another big bite, “Where’d you learn to cook so well?”

“I just learned over time. It’s always just been my mom and I, my dad was never around,” you sigh, “So I kinda had to learn how to take care of myself since my mom always had two jobs. I would always make food for us to ease her workload. And I’ve always enjoyed cooking so I never minded.”

“Wait, for real?” he looks surprised, “My mom was never around! Man, it fucking sucks doesn’t it?”

“So you understand how I feel!” you smile despite talking about something upsetting, “So, your dad was the one that raised you?”

“Basically,” he nods as he licks his fork clean, “My mom wouldn’t let my dad come around much, even though she wasn’t around much herself. I was pretty much on my own till my mom  died and my dad took us in.”

Watching him talk about his past, you get the impression that it’s something he doesn’t often talk about. His body language alone is enough to tell you that. But the two of you feel some type of connection having shared a similar childhood experience.

“Your dad sounds like a good man,” you smile, “I think he’d be very proud of you.”

He looks up at you, his eyes shining with a mixture of sadness and appreciation. “Thanks… he really was the best. But sometimes I just wish I could have had a normal family.”

“Yeah I totally get it,” you sigh, “That’s why I always told myself I’d try to give my future kid the best life I can.  I want to give them the childhood I never had…” You trail off, thinking about the future you hope will become a reality one day. 

“Exactly!” he shouts, “That’s exactly what I told myself too! I always wanted a family so I could do things right.”

He seems excited at first but his expression quickly shifts to one of sadness. 

“But it’s too late for me to have a family,” he continues, looking down as he opens up about one of his biggest failures, “Oh well, if Ume ever has kids I’ll just try to be the best uncle I can.”

“Why would you say it’s too late?” you tilt your head to the side, confused.”

“Y/N, I’m thirty-five years old. I’m too old to start a family… Besides most women my age are done having kids. Not that any woman would want to be with me anyways.” He frowns, being reminded of how he failed to fulfill one of the only dreams he’s ever had. 

“Why not just start a family with a young girl, like me?” You ask without completely realizing what you’re saying. 

“Wh-what?” his eyes widen, completely taken aback by your statement. Could you be insinuating what he thinks you’re insinuating? He’s not sure whether you’re just naive or completely delusional. 

“W-Well um,” you blush as you begin to realize what you’ve said, “I think you’re a really great guy. Any woman would be lucky to-”

“Get out,” he cuts you off. 

“I’m sorry-”

“GET OUT!” He raises his voice, striking fear into you to the point where you feel your eyes begin to water. 

You feel utterly embarrassed and ashamed. Just when you were starting to get close to him too, you had to say something stupid to ruin it all. Honestly, you have no idea what you were thinking. You will admit you did have a crush on him, so maybe your heart just got excited and took a risky leap of faith. But unfortunately for you, it backfired. 

Without another word you rush out of his house as fast as you can, balling your eyes out. 

.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚. 

It’s been a few days, and Gyutaro has been ignoring your texts. They stopped coming after that first day, and even though he didn’t respond he still read them. Reading your apologies over and over. He couldn’t get the situation out of his head no matter how hard he tried. So he decided maybe he needed an outside opinion. 

He finds himself sitting at a bar, drinking a beer. Rubbing his rough hand across the stubble that’s grown on his face as he’s been too stressed lately to bother shaving. Honestly, he looks pretty rough. He’s caught up in his self-sabotaging thoughts when he hears a familiar voice call out to him.

“Gyutaro! How’ve you been, man?”

He turns around with a smile on his face, “Hey Kai, what’s up?” He stands and gives his best friend a side hug. 

“Gyutarooooo, do I get a hug too?” an annoying voice chimes, a voice that instantly gives Gyutaro a headache. This voice could only belong to one person. 

“I hope you don’t mind that I invited him too,” Kaigaku laughs nervously.

“Douma…” Gyutaro deadpans.

“What? Aren’t you happy to see me?” Douma smiles wide, giving Gyutaro a one-sided hug. “So, spill the details! Kai said you had some juicy gossip to talk about!” He says as he sits beside him at the bar, placing his hand under his chin and batting his long eyelashes. 

Kaigaku takes a seat on the other side of Gyutaro and mumbles, “Maybe this was a mistake.”

“It’s fine,” Gyutaro sighs and takes a drink from his bottle, “I really just wanted some advice. Just promise you won’t make it weird.”

“When do I ever make things weird?” Douma asks. 

Gyutaro just stares at him, thinking of all of the times he has indeed made things weird. 

“Come on man, just spit it out already!” Kaigaku nudges his shoulder. 

Gyutaro groans and slumps over in his seat, “Alright alright. So, there’s this girl-”

“A girl?!” Both of his friends say in unison. 

“Shut up!” Gyutaro growls, knowing exactly why his friends are so shocked. Because out of all of the years they’ve known him, he’s never once brought up a girl. 

“Anyway,” he continues, “There’s a girl I kind of like… she’s really sweet and we have a lot in common but…” he trails off, hesitant to tell them the truth, “She’s only twenty-one…”

Kaigaku chokes on his drink.

“I don’t see an issue,” Douma says, genuinely confused.

“Of course, you don’t,” Gyutaro mumbles under his breath. 

“How the hell did you get into this situation?” Kaigaku coughs.

“It wasn’t on purpose! I didn’t pursue her at all!” Gyutaro scowls, “Listen, she’s one of Ume’s friends. She comes over a lot and she’s been really nice to me. She even cooked a bunch of meals for me too…”

“And? Spill it, Shabana!” Douma pouts, getting impatient. 

“AND, we were talking about what we want for our future. I told her I wanted a family one day but I’m too old… and she said why don’t I have a family with a young girl like her. I immediately told her to leave. I’m starting to think maybe I overreacted…”

“Well, girls that age are very fertile!” Douma chimes as if his statement was completely innocent.

“STOP!” Gyutaro shouts, “That’s fucking weird, man! Don’t say it like that!” 

“Maybe I shouldn’t have invited him…” Kaigaku mumbles. 

“Hey, it’s true! I am a gynecologist after all, it’s just medical facts! And she’s right, having children with someone your age will be much more difficult and there could be complications!” Douma asserts confidently.

“The fact that you’re a gynecologist disturbs me,” Kaigaku says. 

“Me too,” Gyutaro adds. 

“Come on guys! It’s not as weird as you think. Why would it be so wrong to date her?”

“For starters, she’s fourteen fucking years younger than me! That’d be creepy right…? I don’t want people thinking I’m a weirdo or a creep,” he frowns, starting to feel like maybe he is a creep for even considering something with you. 

Kaigaku takes a sip of his drink, thinking long and hard about what advice he should give his friend. Especially since Douma is useless. 

“I mean, it’s not that bad,” he shrugs, “At the end of the day you’re both consenting adults. And since when did you care about what other people think of you anyway?”

“You have a point,” Gyutaro replies, “But she should live her life instead of wasting her time with an old guy like me.”

“First of all you aren’t even that old,” Kai rolls his eyes, “And second of all, she’s an adult who is fully capable of making her own decisions. If she wants to be with you, then she wants it for a reason. Maybe she wants a guy who is at a more stable point in his life. Who knows?”

“Exactly, Kai’s right. I see age gaps much larger than this all the time, it’s more common than you think,” Douma adds. 

“And besides, it would only be creepy if you were talking to her when she was a minor,” Kaigaku states, “Like if you’re an adult talking to a minor, then wait till they’re an adult to pursue them romantically it’s a little creepy if you ask me. But you didn’t even know her at all until now. So don’t worry man. You aren’t creepy or weird for liking this girl.”

Gyutaro feels a wave of relief wash over him as he listens to his friend’s explanation. It's the first thing he’s heard that actually made him feel a bit better about the situation. “So, you really think it’s ok for me to pursue her?”

“Hell yeah! Be happy, man. I know you’re not the kind of guy to go after a girl just because she’s young. She sounds like a really nice girl, and I’m happy someone finally sees what a great guy you are.”

“Thanks, Kai,” Gyutaro smiles, “Alright, I guess I’ll go for it.”

Gyutaro feels a newfound confidence overtake him. His friends are right, he shouldn’t be so caught up in the details when the fact of the matter is that a really amazing woman is interested in him for the first time in his life. And he cannot let this opportunity slide, as it may be the last chance he has at happiness. 

“Who knows, maybe she’s one of my patients!” Douma chimes in out of nowhere.

“Shut up, Douma! God, I can’t take you anywhere!” Kai growls. 

.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚.

That night you receive a text from Gyutaro, “Do you want to go to the botanical gardens with me this weekend?”

When you first read the text you had to pinch yourself in case you were dreaming. Why would he say that all of a sudden? Did he suddenly have a change of heart? Or maybe he’s inviting you out just so he can tell you off in person. 

You aren’t sure which one, but you’ve been so stressed over this situation that you’ll do anything to make up with him. So you hastily respond, “Yes! I’d love to :)”

Immediately you regret how eager you sound in the text, thinking that it might make Gyutaro think you're even more childish. But in reality it makes him smile knowing that someone is excited to see him for once.

“Ok. I’ll send you the details,” he responds a minute later.

Is this a date? That’s the only question that keeps replaying in your mind. A date with Gyutaro, your best friend’s older brother. The whole thing feels taboo, but you’d be lying if you said that it didn’t make you feel even more excited.

Taglist: @gyusimp @mistyychann @cherrysxuya @angelicsaiko @hoshigafuru @matsukaah @merryclaus @whisperhug97 @dawn-rays-dingo

(I tagged people who showed interest in my previous posts. If you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist just let me know. The next chapter will have smut so if you want to be tagged make sure you have your age listed on your blog ♡)

[charmercharm3r]

YOU WILL WRITE THIS

SO IMAGING ABT how your a 9th skz member (who always wears baggy street wear or just the really cutsie member who does aegyo and isnt rlly sexual and lit has never showed any skin )and you all go boxing for fun - you decide to wear a baggy white shirt and a white bra under it and once you arrive to the gym your acc really good at boxing like your sweatiinggg and its showing your skin and clinging onto u - thowing jabs at minho like your life DEPENDS ON IT!! the members admire you from the side of the ring with a good view; after that tiring session you or your member dump water on you to quench your thirst but end up dumping wayy more than intended which causes you all to laugh but iykyk white clothes + water = see through jit going thru your shirt and kinda your bra so the members are just staring at your bare boobs (you can also write the baddie moment where you take off your shirt bc your agitated at it clinging onto ur skin)

i’m such a sucker for 9th member fics

Masterlist

warning: gn!reader, 9th member, suggestive

next: two

☆ﾟ

“That’s it, Y/N’ie! Now I can actually feel your punches. Put a little more weight behind it.”

Minho had you dancing around the elevated boxing ring like it was rehearsed. Your couldn’t feel your hands or arms anymore from how long you’d been chasing him in circles to hit the padded target he always held just a little out of reach. Honestly, sports weren’t really your thing, dancing was the only thing you truly tried to do well in front of and behind the cameras. You had no idea what possessed you to tag along with Minho to his boxing session.

The news of your outing traveled fast within the group and before you knew it, everyone was piling into the two cars together. Minho and Chan had been giving you pointers the whole car ride and even tried to show you how to wrap the bandage around your wrist for support until you shooed them away and told them to stop hovering.

Felix was giggling watching the whole preparation take place, only when he said your full name did you realize he was narrating with a mini vlogging camera pointed your way.

Maybe promotions and practices and life in general were starting to take an emotional toll on you, every ounce of your frustrations from the week you took it out on Minho.

You couldn’t feel your feet now, too. The numbness let you move a little faster, only able to feel the sweat dripping down your temple and chest. As you picked up the pace and threw your punches harder, Minho stumbled slightly from the sudden burst of energy. You couldn’t hear the other members whooping and cheering your name, all focus pinpointed on the black target.

Harder, quicker, more than enough weight behind the punches that forced Minho to misstep and trip into the rope. The others rushed to hold their hands out in case he slipped through them, while also torn between being in awe or laughing at the older boy literally falling for you.

You tried to catch your breath and aggravatedly unwrapped the boxing glove from your hand as Minho stood and looked at you with surprise.

“Was that enough weight?!” You huffed, throwing the glove at him with almost no power now that you expended most of it trying to hit the target.

Giggling from the side of the ring made your head snap in its direction, “you want some, too, Kim Seungmin? I’ll come down there and—“

Just as you were about to throw the other glove at him, Changbin stepped into the ring and stole it from you, physically picking you up and waltzing you backwards with your rubbery limbs not putting up much of a fight. “You can beat him up later. Drink water first, you sweat like a fucking fountain.”

“Y/N’ie!” Felix and Hyunjin ran around to help you out of the ring, water bottles at the ready. You let Hyunjin tip your chin up and place the open bottle to your lips, it was gone in under a minute. “Slow down, you’ll drown,” he chuckled.

“Lix, you’re staring again,” Changbin threw his hand over his eyes until he realized what the younger was ogling.

The baggy white shirt you’d worn was completely soaked and sticking to your body like a second skin, showing through the sports bra that kept you safe. You were never one to show much skin at all, but right now, you didn’t have the energy to care. In fact, it was suddenly feeling suffocating. When you started to strip away the drenched shirt was when the rest of the members made their way over to you, all with mouths dropped slightly at the view of their adorable member suddenly shining in a new light.

“Hyung, maybe you should get Y/N’ie mad more often,” Jeongin whispered to Minho, who had a stupidly smug smirk on his face.

“I’ll take—“ huff, “—every one—“ puff, “of you fuc—“

“Hey now! No swearing in my vlog!” Felix rushed to stop you mid sentence.

“But they’re cute when they’re mad! Look,” Jisung pinched your cheek lightly and you frowned, raising your fist, “oh, so scary!” He feigned fright and stepped back with his hands up in surrender.

“You looked really cool, though. Who knew you could actually do physical activity!” Seungmin patted you on the back a little too harshly and you slumped forward with a wince.

“I hate all of you.”

“You love us!” Chan rung out your wet shirt and all of you stopped to watch how much of it was squeezed onto the floor. “That’s disgusting.”

Felix laughed menacingly and turned the camera towards himself, “I think Y/N’ie needs a shower.”

The eight of them made eye contact and smiled deviously. You spotted the bottles of water they each had and moved a second too late. Minho grabbed you by the waist before you could run, and suddenly you were being blinded by water running down your face and getting covered from head to toe. Minho was nice enough to wipe your strayed hair from your eyes so you could see the glee in your member’s eyes as if they’d accomplished an important task.

“Are you cooled off now?” Minho asked, peaking over your shoulder and brushing more hair from your cheek.

“Ice cold.”

“Oh, they’re definitely mad at us!” Felix kept laughing along with Hyunjin and Jisung.

“You all owe me one meal each. Dessert included.”

“I’ll even throw in a dry towel.” Chan handed you a itty bitty hand towel that you snatched away.

You patted down your exposed skin starting with your arms, your face, and when you got to your neck and chest was when you realized they’d all gone quiet. “Have none of you seen a chest before?! Virgins, all of you.”

None of them moved, unabashedly and unashamed that they were still staring.

“It’s just—“ Hyunjin said softly and pointed at your chest again. You looked down to see your nipples hard, and you lost any patience you had left.

There was almost no force behind your fists slamming into his chest, but Hyunjin cowered away and pretended to be hurt just for sympathy’s sake. Minho cheered you on while Chan was pulling out a spare shirt from his gym bag, sneakily slipping it onto you as your adrenaline drained back down to zero.

“Two. Meals. Each. And I’ll be keeping track.” You breathed heavily, finally giving up on being upset.

“Dessert included,” they repeated back.

When you’d finally calmed down, Felix threw his arm over your shoulder and pulled you in close, “how was your first time boxing with Minho hyung? Care to share with sunshine vlog?”

“Next time, it’ll be you and me in that ring, Lixie.” You cheerfully threaded with a tap of your finger to the tip of his nose and smiled.

The seven of them trailed behind you as you leaned on Felix for some support. Not even an ounce of annoyance left in you, the sleep was wanting to take over before you could make it to the car. You climbed into the back seat and made yourself comfortable before the rest of them could file in, careful not to raise their voices too loud. You could tell it was Changbin next to you just by the smell of his cologne, still strongly lasting after a decent work out.

Entirely passed out, you didn’t get to hear Felix end his vlog with, “look how cute they are, already asleep. Stay, shhh, don’t tell Y/N’ie that Minho hyung only tripped cus his shoe was untied. See you next time!”

-

tags: @sensitiveandhungry @babebatter @changbinluvr @epiphanynaffit @fawnpeaks @linovely @dumplinbokkieracha @finnydraws @naturules @djeniryuu @skzhomiehopper @yesv01 @hyunjinsamdl @dazzlingligth @lvrhyuka @alexis-reads-fics @linaliskz @0002linoskitten @chillichillicrabcrab23 @zerefdragn33l @straycrescent @binnies-donuts @soldierstangirl-blog @bakedlilgoonie @levanterlily @shelbyyy44 @yeetmehome @in2heartz @astroodledream @the-sweetest-rose @goblinracha @lilbugs-things @viviennenstan @staurdvst @alex--awesome--22 @imzenning @jeyelleohe @kaitchan @iadorethemskz @skyvastbunny @mamabymychem @katsukis1wife @woozarts @noellllslut

[luciaintheskyainthi]

Hi!!! I LOVE ECM!! I'm completely down this rabbit hole now, (spider web?) And I'm reading jason/peter fics 🫠 I'm not really a fan of DC so this is a 1st for me to love 🫠 I initially went through a peter/danny phantom thing then peter/harley mostly because tom's been my person for spidey now, you can imagine those pairings wouldn't necessarily deal with the morality debate like it does with jason/peter so this really made me think how they'd work

But then, in my personal thing, for the DC, it's not really a question of who's right or who's wrong or who deserves the privelage to live or how to solve the question of who's morally superior but who can endure and live with the decisions they make you know?

One thing i see in like my general knowledge of DC and what you've opened my eyes to regarding Jason and Peter, is that they're the type of people who mingles with the community. They want to save or help people because these are THEIR people u know? They grew up in these streets, mingled with what would constitute as background characters and npcs at most to the dc world, just statistics as u say, but they're people to them even the villains

Jason in my head in these case, will understand that while the 'bad guys' can be redeemed, he's not willing to take a chance that it will cost other people's lives. Innocent people that don't deserve to be just part of a redemption arc of a criminal and he can endure killing, what that does to him and other's views of him but he's someone who survives and can do this as long as it saves those future victims

Peter on the other hand wants to help everyone because he believes and has seen those that can be saved from 'villainy'. He can endure continuing to try and continuing to save possible victims but that's because to me, he's kind of op in his possible abilities and smarts u kno, he has the option to think of a way to help both 'villain' and victim and keep standing up after he's hit. In a way that Jason, as a relative normie can't. I think peter's experiences and what he witnesses in marvel verse shows the type of power and ability that allows them to help what other's would call iredeemable, like how he did in nwh.

It's a matter of how well they'll be able to endure either killing someone who could've been redeemed or allowing someone to live who continues to kill.

They're both stubborn tho, so I imagine in these scenario they'll just be each other's support 😃 in a happy place, that's what I want to think anyway.

How would you happen to see them in this context? 'Cause honestly, in bruce and tony's case as people who don't technically mingle with the community the way the other 2 do, they kind of come off as sanctimonious pricks who has a privelaged view of how to handle their criminals.

Considering they think that the people they fight with will target them and everything they may or may not do is associated with them, they certaimly don't think about the 'background' people affected in their actions the way I imagine peter and jason do. Sorry I rambled too much I'm not even sure I explained mythoughts properly 😃

Still ur an amazing writer 🥹 thank you for your generosity in sharing your worls with us

Finally getting to this ask! 🫣 I loved it very much and have been waiting for the right bandwidth to respond because I knew I'd end up writing a damn essay ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 (and would you look at that? I HAVE)

Let me start by saying I LOVE how you've put the moral debate that lies at the heart of Jason (and of course the Jason/Peter pairing!):

it's not really a question of who's right or who's wrong or who deserves the privelage to live or how to solve the question of who's morally superior but who can endure and live with the decisions they make you know?

I DO know and it's something that I've had Jason touch upon a few times previously (but also more in later chapters). He's long since accepted that burden - in some respects, because of his training with the All Caste I think he sees it in part as a responsibility, too (the All Caste kind of exists to fight against the Untitled, who are meant to embody evil, so there's a bit of that going on with Jason, too).

At this point, I think Jason understands that Bruce isn't someone who should take on that burden like Jason has. And he understands too, that the world is better without a Batman that's willing to kill. But at the same time, he also sees Bruce's 'inaction' as hypocritical and harmful because he DOES prioritise the lives of mass murderers over the lives of their inevitable future victims. Unlike Bruce, who is an optimist, Jason is a realist and a utilitarian. The greatest good and all that.

(Of course, I don't think that was entirely his motivation throughout the events of Under the Red Hood, but I'd like to think he's matured in the 4 years since then... Of interest: the Batman: Urban Legends issue covers pretty well the reasons why comics!Jason would stop using guns, after he lets his temper get the better of himself and he kills an admittedly shitty guy, but someone he knows shouldn't have been killed. While I still have Jason use guns here so that event's non-ECM canon, I do think it made a good argument.)

I do see Peter as a hero who should be very firmly community-minded (certainly far more than he was set up as in the first few showings of MCU Spider-Man), which does bring him into alignment with Jason, despite their differing views on killing villains. The thing is though, and I said this in an earlier ask, Peter's recent villains have been men who have been changed/altered, and its primarily this alteration that led to their villainy (with the exception of Beck and Toomes). Likewise, Peter is stronger, and that's meant he's not been made a victim in the same way that Jason has. So the way he views villains has been tarred by the belief that they can change.

But the thing is... while, sure, there are Gotham villains who are like that, there are also some who are just... irredeemable assholes. There's no 'fixing them' because there was nothing 'broken' about them. Or not broken in the way Peter's used to....

I think you also bring up a great point about the fact that Peter and Jason, living in the heart of Crime Alley, and community-centred heroes, would see Bruce's POV as sanctimonious because those future victims aren't just faceless victims, they're their neighbours. They're friends. They're the petty passive-aggressive arch-enemy whom Jason's in a constant battle with for the final parking space on the street.

There's no ivory tower for Peter or Jason. And that means something. To both of them.

I would also note, that while Peter's against killing and certainly would never bear the knife himself, he's capable of nuance. Because LBR, both MCU and comics Peter has associated with characters who've killed. MCU Tony killed Thanos, yet Peter never decries that decision. He still hero-worships the man after death. Same goes with all the Avengers, which there's no doubt Peter was aware of, yet he still wanted to join the roster in Homecoming.

Likewise, comics Peter still associates with killers like Deadpool, and though I've not read the comics, from what I'm aware it's not so much that he's antipathetic towards Deadpool because he kills but because he's a mercenary.

(Of course, one could make comparisons between Jason and the Punisher, who Peter canonically hates, and thinking of the Jason from UTRH, there's no way Peter would associate himself with the Red Hood then. Because like the Punisher, the Red Hood was indiscriminate when it came to killing 'bad guys'. But the Jason of now is a very different beast from the Jason of UTRH.)

To me, that says that the motivations behind having to kill someone matters to Peter. As of course, do the circumstances. Though you never saw that conversation from Peter's POV, he was immensely relieved when Jason confirmed that he wasn't interested in just breaking into Arkham and killing the villains inside executioner-style, even if that would still prevent them from creating any more victims.

Anywho, all of this to say, that while Jason thinks himself capable of taking on the burden, he doesn't think that should be the case for every hero. Likewise, while Peter would never allow himself to kill someone, even in the heat of a battle, that doesn't mean he's going to immediately condemn someone else for being forced to do the same.

[sunnystars2023]

heyy,i love your writing! could you do pro hero!monoma dating headcanons?

Yes of course!!! I’m sorry it took so long I got burnt out but I’m back!

Pro-Dating

Synopsis: what it’s like dating ProHero!Neito Monoma!

Neito Monoma

-Neito as a Man is not to different from when he was in high school.

-He is very needy and wants to be with you at all times.

-He ends up feeling almost anxious with out you.

-He still is loud and extremely vocal about his opinions but he’s learned that sometimes Just sometimes that his opinions aren’t always needed but if it gets under his skin enough he’s gonna say something.

-JEALOUS JELLY BOY!

-He gets pretty insecure about himself and gets pretty jealous easily.

-It’s not that he doesn’t trust you he doesn’t trust the world. He think if you see someone who is better more available and less needy that you will go were the grass is greener.

-Neito Monoma is a fantastic listener when he wants to be now if he doesn’t wanna do it he won’t and will flip your words to suit his needs. He has a hard time saying no to you even when he wants to.

-This has caused a few accidents and arguments. He has gotten better but he still can get that way.

-He loves you with every inch on him. He would do MOSTLY anything for you.

-He is definitely a sweet talker and knows how to butter you up with words but he also knows how to comfort you as well.

-He’s not the greatest communicator but he’s working on it.

-The two of you hardly have time to see each other but when you do he is on you. Constantly he at least holds your hand. You keep him grounded.

-The media honestly eat it up!

-He LOVE LOVE LOVES being publicly yours.

-He likes that you are all his and everyone’s dream boat. It makes him feel special.

-He enjoys simple things with you like grabbing lunch during your break while he’s also on a break from paroling the town.

-On the hard days where he doesn’t feel good enough or feels insecure about his Hero Ranking knowing that your his partner makes him feel seen, supported, and appreciated.

-He is honestly far from perfect but he tries to be the best he can for you. He makes sure to make you feel special when he can and loves you endlessly.

-He needs you to be patient because he’s difficult and he knows it but you let it be known that he makes everything worth it.

🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟

Masterlist here

If you enjoy this please check out my other works and feel free to request something!!

[diabolicalworldwriter]

Jesus, I just got to the point in Words of Radiance where Kal is in prison and Dalinar basically says "You're not going to end racism by being radical and acting upset about it. You can't just expect us to treat you like an equal because you're not one. Play nice and maybe the racists will grow to respect you"

I.

Buddy what the fuck

In general I think I've found that I'm... Not as fond of Dalinar as I used to be. Don't get me wrong, he does some great things and he's constantly trying to improve and I appreciate that. Flawed characters make stories interesting and I think Brandon does a fantastic job of writing him. However, he is overly strict and judgemental (Still not forgiving him for hating on Adolin for trying to express himself a bit more through style in ROW; let my boy dress up a bit if he wants), he struggles to accept other ways of doing things (we could look to Adolin again, being "too friendly" with those he commands and Dalinar going "noooo they might respect you less if they think you see them as an equal individual"), and while he talks about how he wants to change how everything works, if someone tries to defy convention in a way he doesn't approve of he shuts them down. (Kaladin pointing out very fair issues with how dark eyes are punished severely and light eyes get away with everything only to be talked down at until he shut up and fell in line, for example.) He wants change and has power to bring it about but won't do anything too radical for it, I guess, and that frustrates me. He tends to support systems as long as they work for his own goals, even if they're still exploitative and deeply unjust, while also complaining that everyone else is being exploitative and unjust. I dislike that he acts like he's doing Kaladin such a favor by treating him as almost an equal. "I'm sticking my neck out by treating you like a human, act civil and don't try to speak too loudly about the injustices yet, you might make the others uncomfortable." Dalinar isn't like other light eyes, he's so quirky and different and sometimes acts a bit less classist and racist!!! Aren't we lucky!! Idk maybe I'm stating my point a bit too strongly but damn. He's giving "yeah I'm a stubborn old man but really I'm quite progressive, I don't even go out of my way to hate crime people"

Words of Radiance, while I enjoy it, is rather difficult to get through because it's just so many main characters who I generally appreciate being awful to/supporting or ignoring awful behavior towards Kaladin and if he reacts they're like ":0000 how dare he attack first" (I appreciate Zahel chewing out Adolin for antagonizing and then fighting Kal in shardplate because goddamn Adolin I love you but that sucked.)

I'm finding Elhokar a lot more unlikeable on this reread as well. He's meant to be unlikeable of course, so good job on that, but Jesus he can be the worst. Honestly standing beside my past thoughts that what Moash did wrong was not in turning on the system that oppresses him and all the dark eyes, but just that he knowingly hurt Kaladin and other people who cared about him repeatedly and severely to do so.

I'm on board with killing horrible leaders (especially if it seems the only way to remove them and stop them from causing harm: people shouldn't have to suffer and die as part of a leader's learning curve and character growth, and going "they're working on it" when people are actively suffering is garbage. I'm still sad at Elhokar's death but I'm not sad that he's no longer king) but I draw the line at abusing and killing one's friends and I am just hoping he comes to terms with what he has done wrong and improves in book five.

Anyways that was long and scattered I'm sorry lmao you should have heard my rant to my poor cousin, I was rambling for like half an hour.

[violentlyfeverish]

what i watched in january '25

a very solid month! i got around to shows that have been high on my watchlist for a while and ultimately found some new favourites.

see your love 看見愛 (tw, 2024)

this is, without a doubt, my favourite bl from this month and now one of my favourite bls of all time.

i could write paragraphs upon paragraphs expressing the sheer fondness i have for this show and its elements. the characters are complex, romance is well-written, and the themes and conflicts about communication have satisfying arcs, making for a very fulfilling and memorable show.

the attention to detail and care put into depicting shao peng's life and feelings, zi xiang's struggles and trauma, their individual growth and change is stellar. i love the way their bond strengthens as they support each other and encourage honest self-expression, creating space to be vulnerable and acknowledged for what others disregarded in the past. i'm in awe. it's beautiful. my most sincere praise and appreciation for the entire cast and crew that worked on this show. i'm gonna go watch the behind-the-scenes and keep an eye out for everyone's future projects <3

we best love: no. 1 for you (tw, 2021)

this show's primary strengths lie in the characters and the cast.

the characters, for one, have a very compelling dynamic. shu yi's competitiveness juxtaposed with shi de's feelings is really interesting, especially as we learn more about shi de's personality. he's willing to go to great lengths for shu yi even when disliked, including the whole "blackmail" inciting incident. while it felt contrived at first, i came to find the psychology of using your one-sided crush's one-sided rivalry with you to distract and help him get over his own one-sided crush just... fascinating. i keep thinking about shi de's convoluted way of thinking and coping with the feelings he's been wrestling with for years. shu yi, on the other hand, has spent many years harbouring disdain and trying to beat shi de. he's clearly very capable, so for his side, i like to wonder how often he might win if he wasn't so fixated on shi de, if he didn't feel so insecure in his presence in combination with growing up under extreme pressures to succeed.

for the other, the two leads do a wonderful job playing their characters. i love the way sam portrays shi de's loss of control (kissing under the pool, orchestrating their night in the clinic, the "blackmail") and simultaneous repression to the point of inability to accept shu yi's reciprocated feelings. the scene where he's patching up shu yi is a stand-out, where shi de tries his best to suppress the hurt and overwhelm from feeling like everything is unraveling. his micro-expressions and physicality -- downcast eyes and purposely-casual mannerisms -- are so, so good. i was also completely taken by yu's delivery throughout the show. there were multiple times i rewound specific sentences, especially during the bridge scene, to follow how he said his lines and the reaction they elicited. yu's facial expressions, the way he says 'i like you' then throws down his bag in defiance so he can prove he loves shi de are so striking. that whole scene is honestly marvelous, with every possible emotion playing out on shi de's face as he processes shu yi's confession and shu yi getting emotional again before says he wants this to count as shi de's first kiss.

too good.

we best love: fighting mr. 2nd (tw, 2021)

i have a lot to say about the second season.

i have some grievances with the plot, but my biggest issue is with shu yi's dad. the show wanted us to laugh at his silly antics, but they were juxtaposed with genuinely cruel, abusive things he'd done. it felt like they wanted a dramatic obstacle keeping shi de and shu yi apart, but then inexplicably still wanted him to be a likeable character? mind-boggling and very sloppy. he had potential to be a serious cause of distress, further fleshing out aspects of shu yi's childhood, like the pressures to live up to high expectations and i'm just gonna imagine that's what we got instead of a shockingly wishy-washy and frustrating character.

aside from that, while my problems with the root of the conflict persist, i must say the conflict itself is... really, really excellent.

the tension, the desire, the heart-wrenching familiarity and longing after so much time apart... it's no wonder they went with such a premise even when the set-up fell apart under scrutiny and honestly -- despite its faults -- i still love this season because of that. all the strengths from the first season continue, especially the lead actors, who are at the top of their game. just absolutely hitting it out of the park. and, since i knew what to look out for this time, i was able to enjoy their performances even more. their unexpected reunion had me holding my breath, their flashbacks hurt my heart, and i couldn't take my eyes off the screen when shi de showed up drunk, fully about to lose control. everything from the dialogue to the details of their micro-expressions is so well-done, and i love how yu portrays shu yi's barely-restrained anger giving in. throughout the whole season, it's a treat to see how he attempts to shield himself, build a facade of indifference that clashes with his innate honesty so hard it doesn't fool shi de for even a second.

overall, every bit of energy and effort is poured into their making moments truly glitter. and it really pays off. the sweetness, the domesticity, the callbacks and full-circle scenes are all incredibly effective. i wish some parts of the plot had received the same treatment, but i'll take what i can get. i love 'em.

the time of fever (kr, 2024)

i'm... not exactly sure how to word my thoughts on this.

everything from cinematography to dialogue to symbolism and characterisation is so, so carefully and thoughtfully put together. it truly feels like a meditative character study focused on one of my favourite pairs of all time, along with one of my favourite types of dynamics: fraught and fragile, full of uncertainty while at the same time harbouring strong familiarity.

there's technically not much plot, but i really admire how this series lays their foundation. i went back to watch their scenes from unintentional love story and now i keep thinking about what may have happened during those two years. it's crazy how i find musing about even the most mundane moments in their relationship super, super interesting. also, that orange scene changed my life.

light on me (kr, 2021)

this immediately became one of my favourite kbls/bls set in high school. each character is given time and care to develop, the romances are all fleshed-out, and i was blown away by how well-written the dynamic and interactions between the four friends are. the latter is the best part of the show, in my opinion; i loved seeing all of their unique interactions especially when sohee is no longer an antagonist -- i really liked her and shiwoon's love/hate friendship. shiwoon's entire character is a treat, tbh.

overall, a wholesome show with a love triangle done interestingly, care and consideration for every single character, and a final get-together that's really, really adorable.

to my star* (kr, 2021)

this is one of my favourite easier watches and i can see it becoming a comfort show. it requires some suspension of disbelief, but i adore the main couple and their story, how they grow closer during moments like cooking together. their touches and gestures of affection still feel like a gut-punch -- jiwoo immediately bringing taejoon's thumb to his mouth when he gets a cut, for example -- and my soft spot for loud, confident characters having underlying fragility is definitely indulged.

our dating sim (kr, 2023)

... i can't believe i forgot to include this show when it was one of my favourite shorter series this month. i love thinking about it.

the comedy hits, the characters are interesting, and their extensive history is really heart-wrenching especially when we get the revelations that we do during my favourite scene. in it, they're walking around, constantly in motion, telling each other how they feel and what the separation was like on their end. it's lighthearted but grounded. heavy emotions simmer underneath, but come to the surface in moments like ki tae alluding to having loved lee wan for over seven years.

their body language and mannerisms are just really effective, and now i want to rewatch so i can re-enjoy their unexpected (for lee wan, at least) reunion. highly recommend. cute ensemble cast and very compelling lead dynamic.

the eighth sense* (kr, 2023)

this was the first show i watched this year. as a sucker for fraught, fragile relationships, i think this is a pretty solid drama that delivers on touching moments that feel both grounded and earned.

my love mix-up!* (jp, 2024)

this was my second time watching this show. while i had some mild reservations about the story, i had a lot of fun with moments like the two eating lunch on the rooftop and ida defending aoki in front of everyone.

i hear the sunspot (jp, 2024)

this is my most recent watch. i have somewhat mixed feelings on it.

on one hand, i appreciate the attention to specific detail and attempt to include representation of different deaf and HoH people. as someone who's tired of the sole female character being the forced 'villain', i'm also at least glad she doesn't fall for kohei and create a love triangle. i actually really liked her character once that became apparent; her brief moments with taichi where they challenge each other's perspectives were thought-provoking and it made me wish we got better, more fleshed out friendships as a whole.

on the other hand, while the romantic resolution felt rushed, i still really liked taichi and kohei's relationship. taichi's efforts to help kohei, their mutual insecurity that they'd be abandoned once they're no longer of use, and the scenes where kohei signs he loves taichi and overhears him talking in the film club room are genuinely really sweet. taichi's empathy, validation of kohei's bottled feelings, and kohei's encouragement of taichi's outspoken personality were really heartwarming.

overall, i do have some hang-ups, but i definitely walk away with more to appreciate. there are a lot of fond moments that give me the warm and fuzzies, and i'm glad i watched.

a man who defies the world of bl (jp, 2021)

this is less a bl, more a comedic satire of its tropes and fans. i'll be honest, i watched this one at my sleepiest and more delirious, but i can still recall several moments i genuinely burst out laughing e.g. the mc yelling to stop the dialogue leading to a meet-cute, his exaggerated facial expressions, and just the absurdity of being in this world where guys are falling in love left and right based on nothing.

the ending is also pretty cute. i liked how we manage to get some development in the relationship, which sweetened the conclusion without feeling like too much of a departure from the original tone.

* indicates a rewatch

[ddollfface]

𝐓𝐨𝐨 𝐇𝐨𝐭 𝐓𝐨 𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐥

𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗦𝗶𝗰𝗸!𝗔𝘁𝗵𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

"You're as hot as the bottom of my laptop, mamas ;)."

Trigger Warnings; gaslighting, manipulation, somewhat spreading misinformation, hinting at yandere behaviors, fluff, PDA, reader is referred to as a girl, honestly this is pretty tame lol If I missed anything, then please let me know ♡ Just a few headcanons on a new OC. And, just so you know, when I was writing this, I had an afab!reader in mind! If you have any requests, idk why you would, but send them in! I hope you enjoy:)))

Never, ever refers to you as your given name. He prefers to call you by some type of nickname or pet name, depending on his mood. His go-to is mamas, sweet cheeks, baby cakes, hot stuff, good-lookin', and so much more. Honestly, he could go on all day, just listing different pet names he has for you. At this point, it's become a source of entertainment for you, trying to see what odd name he'll call you. Come on, you don't like that nickname, sugar plum? How about dolly? Baby girl? Pumpkin? I don't know, you look like an angel, baby.

Though you'll admit it, it's somewhat endearing to hear, especially when you know he's only called you these cute names. But at a certain point, it gets embarrassing... Like does your mama need to know that he calls you bubble butt, of all things? Let me answer that for you, no, no she does not. If anything, that's something she should never, ever know.

He demands that you come to his games; he doesn't want you to miss a single one. He'll show up to your house at the crack of dawn, on a Saturday, and drag you out of bed to bring you to his game. He doesn't give too shits if your hair looks like a mess or if you're still in your jams. Nope, not at all. If anything, he likes it. He thinks you're adorable with your Hello Kitty booty shorts.

He just wants you there, to support him. He wants to have his own personal cheerleader, someone who he can come to after the game, and give a hug too.

While the thought behind it is endearing and cute, that doesn't change the fact that he's just so pushy. He won't give up, no matter what. If he says you're going, then you're going. You don't get a say in the matter 'cause if you refuse to go, then he's going to bring out the waterworks. He's going to look at you with the saddest eyes you can imagine, there's even tears. He'll cock his head to the side and question you, asking why don't you want to support me? What happened to 'friends first? Remember when I went to that stupid party 'cause ya' didn't want to be alone? Where's my payback, yeah?

He'll use emotional manipulation to get what he wants, making you out to be the bag guy, instead of him. His guilt-tripping usually always works, well, so far it has. And now you're at some stupid hockey game, wrapped up in his jacket, wearing his team colors. Great, now people are asking how you bagged a guy like him. Jesus, where'd they get that idea from? You're not even dating...

Well, that's what you think. Little do you know, he's been going around town tellin' everyone about you. He'll hype you up to his buddies, rambling on and on about how you smell, how your cheeks puff up when you smile, and God, you're so pretty when you're sleeping. Wow, he doesn't mean that in a creepy way! Why would you think of it like that? Because he's just admiring the prettiest girl in school! Don't you know, mamas? You being here makes me the luckiest guy in town, yeah?

He's just so God damn touchy; people can't help but think ya'll are dating. Everything about your relationship screams dating. He's always got an arm around your shoulder, and if he's feeling really ballsy, he'll place a hand on your hip. Though those moments are far in between, seeing as you'll give him a hard side-eye when he does it.

But the PDA doesn't stop there. He'll hold your hand, claiming that he's just warming your hands. After all, it's pretty cold in the winter, yeah? He's just looking out for you, nothing to freak out over. Sometimes, he'll hug you a little too tight, and for a little too long. His touch lingers for such a prolonged time it causes you to look up at him with a questioning look.

Of course, he's the master of diverting your questions, shifting your conversations from his touchy behavior to finals. And this does nothing but piss you off, but it's hard to stay mad at him when he looks at you like that. The way he scoots his chair closer to yours, intertwining your pinkies together, and smiling at you like a dork. The way he'll bring you coffee (or warm tea, depending on your preference) during a cold morning, always making sure his baby's all warm. Or how he'll cover for you when you're late to a lecture, stalling the class for a few minutes, just enough for you to slip into class unnoticed.

All these small things let you forget about why you were even mad in the first place! I mean, what could he have done wrong? It couldn't be that bad right?

And just like that, you walk right back into his arms, not knowing that he's the one you should be running from. You're such a stupid girl, aren't you? Don't worry, I'll take care of you babes.

[emblemxeno]

When I think about Fates getting called a bad story, the first thing I think of is how everyone claiming that fixing Nohr's famine would have solved the war just. completely ignores Anankos's background influence planning to make things worse. If it wasn't the famine, it would have been something else, anything else Anankos could use to further his goals of ruining both Hoshido and Nohr - and that's compelling writing because it shows that it's not a easy fix as some would like it to be. It's strange how so many simplify the core conflict into making little sense because they keep acting like a greater evil behind things is somehow a 'ass pull' or distraction?

That's the thing though, people would then just pivot to the "well it sucks that Fates' problems are caused by a random problems dragon that's only revealed in one route", to which I argue... well, sorta kinda?

The main core of Fates' story is that the conflict is so unreasonable, destructive and meaningless, to the point where even questioning it has people resistant. It's about removing the barrier between two flawed kingdoms that have no reason to keep fighting, and only benefit when they exist in harmony with each other. Anankos' influence is representative of that illogical premise. What else could be making two groups of people fight over more than what they could solve without warfare, other than a crazed, despotic and resentful figure of power who wants to drag the rest of the world down with him?

Revenge, famine, resources, defense from invasion, isolationism, jealousy and pride, etc... all of these provide reason for conflict, but not one that lasted since the age of godly dragons. Only another ambitious and godly dragon could halt progress and change to that degree.

I know the common critique of FE stories in general is that "well, the problems get solved by beating big scary dragon and that sucks", but the point of those final bosses isn't that every problem is solved. Honestly, the point is never just "beat bad dragon the end." The point is that you were able to unify around a cause despite differing backgrounds, and because of that, change is then starting to develop in the epilogues (and can happen in supports, base conversations, etc.) The final bad dragon is the last step of the journey, with said journey being the actual fix to whatever issues are plaguing the protagonist's party. It's a narrative-gameplay tool.

[wlwanakin]

hi keaton! thoughts on anakin and obi-wan’s relationship if anakin left the order for padmé and the kids? the mess and fallout is so interesting to me and no one ever talks about it

i’ve been thinking abt this a LOT bc i chronically keep writing stuff where obi-wan and anakin don’t talk anymore lol and a falling out feels like such an inevitability with most “fix it” scenarios that people just straight up don’t consider?? and i do find that annoying. any scenario where anakin leaves the order for padmé (and the twins) would cause a rift (of varying size, depending on the circumstances) and i don’t think it’s an unfixable one but i do think that to get to that idealistic uncle obi-wan point everyone loves it’d take years and a lot of working through things and a lot of Talking About It, which obi-wan is generally not super fond of as he processes approximately one emotion a year, so it’d be a laborious process and he is not going to be attending the twins’ first birthday party.

throughout the war obi-wan is aware of anakin and padmé’s relationship and he’s fine letting them have it, and honestly i think that might make things worse if anakin found out bc it’s instance #2517485857 of obi-wan refusing to vocalize support for him, and also would not soften the general disapproval for anakin Choosing To Leave. and that is a bit explosive! as most things are with anakin really. bc obi-wan did let anakin have that but he is also extremely steadfast in his belief that anakin Needs the jedi, that they’re his family etc and obviously there’s the responsibility aspect of it all and i’m sure he’d make that known and that’s gotta be an infuriating thing to hear from someone you’ve always yearned for familial affection from but never gotten a sufficient amount of it from. and i do think anakin’s rots novel mindset of “my wife and kids are my family, not you guys” would cross over, along with the resentment buildup, and…well! they certainly wouldn’t be parting amicably.

i think the specifics of how long the fallout lasts, how severe it is etc really depends on the specifics of the scenario. like if we’re talking an au where the clone war is still raging there’s a much bigger sense of abandoning duty and i think it’s also harder to process the moral ills of your closely held religion when you’re smack in the middle of them and you kinda have to push all your growing disillusionment aside and keep clocking into The War every day and i think that might lead to a worse and longer-lasting relationship rift, just because too much shit is happening at once and no one has processed anything and why would they wanna process more things. a peacetime scenario would probably fare only slightly better, though i think how much better highly depends on how obvious the moral rot of the order becomes to obi-wan due to whatever circumstances led into ambiguous happy au, and frankly if he doesn’t let himself process his own disillusionment then anakin’s is going to continue to be incomprehensible and that disconnect will continue to make his perception be “you abandoned your religious moral obligation” which is not gonna fare well!! obviously!!! especially if obi-wan’s loyalty to the order remains to such a degree that he expects the twins to be brought to the temple.

in General i think anakin leaving would leave to an explosive fight where obi-wan tries to talk him out of it, and maybe they do stay in contact in whatever strained limited way they can or maybe they don’t but it can’t really be The Same. they do love each other and i do think that deep down they want each other in their lives and that is the main reason i don’t think a fallout between them would be permanent but like i said at the start it would be laborious to get to a point where they’re actually close again. they have to Communicate Their Feelings, they have to close decades old wounds, obi-wan has to admit his wrongs and express affection in a way that is actually remotely normal, anakin has to actually sit down and process things that happened to him, entire worldviews must come into question, like it’s not really gonna be fun for either of them (esp for obi-wan). and i really think this is the kind of thing that has to take years bc anakin needs time to heal from his Everything and obi-wan needs time to come to terms with the fact that hey maybe his worldview was not correct? maybe the order he gave his life to is not entirely noble? and neither of these things are things that come easy. and while those things are happening it’d probably be better for them to not talk bc any talking they do would probably be incredibly unkind lmao

[lomltrentarnold]

could you do a fic where trent gets asked questions about y/n in an interview and he starts blushing etc

❛ soft launched. ❜ — trent alexander-arnold

‣ hana’s notes : anon i love your mind!!!!!! cause when i tell u i RAN to write this 🤭 this is probably not what you expected but i hope you still enjoy it <3 they have a more like private relationship but maybe next time I’ll write when they mention each other more often or where y/n is like a famous person so stay tuned ‼️

MAIN MASTERLIST

┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °

“So, Trent, your football career is looking amazing, your stats are blowing up—”

Trent let out a chuckle at the flowing praise, pride fuelling in his chest. But he didn’t expect the last statement to pop up.

“—and also your love life, it seems. I know you keep your relationship reclusive but that soft launch really had fans going crazy. Tell me a little about that.”

He was speechless for a second, a warm smile settling on his lips at the thought of you. He felt his body getting warm, he couldn’t stop grinning that his cheeks were starting to hurt.

“Yeah, yeah, uh,” he stumbled, words stuck in his throat and he doesn’t know which one to start with. This is his first time he’s talking about you in an interview, although you and him already knew that it was coming after the instagram post, it was still a little bit nerve wrecking.

Trent shrugged before continuing, “I’m a very private person with all of this. All that I have to say is that I’m very happy with my life right now. The support that I have right now, I’m just— uh, very very grateful to be honest. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.” he rambled, your face fresh in his mind, left him feeling all fuzzy inside.

The interviewer sent him a warm smile, he too was feeling happy for him, “Tell me what makes Y/N special.”

Trent didn’t think that they would find your name so fast, but it also wasn’t a surprise, “You guys are quick huh?” they both shared a laugh, before that love struck look glazed over his face once again, “Y/N is honestly amazing. Do you know the feeling that you’re with someone you adore, you can’t really describe it— yeah, Y/N’s probably the best thing that has happened to me.”

He stopped at that, still wanting to keep your relationship as private at possible. But that was more than enough. Everyone in the room could see how smitten he was and they all shared the same joy.

Even the interviewer knew that.

“I am glad to see you happy, Trent. You definitely deserve it.” the interviewer softly smiled at him.

“Thank you.” he chuckled as he shyly scratched the back of his neck.

• • •

Couple of days later, the interview was out.

“Trent, it’s out!” you exclaimed, running to the sofa, and snatching the remote from his hand to change it.

Trent looked at you amused, “Why’re you so excited?”

You smirked, “Why can’t I be?” you looked at him teasingly, before kissing his cheek and pressing play.

Trent was fidgety the whole time as the video plays, nervous for your reaction when you saw the specific scene.

“—and also your love life, it seems. I know you keep your relationship private but that soft launch really had fans going crazy.”

He slowly looked at you, trying to figure out your reaction. But what he saw completely left him in awe.

You were staring at the screen, wearing a proud look on your face. Your smile is so big, he can’t help but mirror it.

You didn’t know why you felt so giddy, so happy, knowing that he was talking about you, praising you, that only you (and some friends and family.) know that. It brought a sense of comfort and ego boost that you can’t explain.

You squealed when you feel warm hands engulfing your waist. Trent pulled you between his legs as he peppered the side of your face with kisses.

“Wait!—“ you laughed, “What’re you doing!” you tipped your head up, trying to look at him. But you were met with his dreads instead.

“Love you.” you heard him whisper. You pouted at your adorable boyfriend, moving your hand behind his neck and softly scratching his scalp.

“Love you too, baby.” you took him out of your neck, and landed a soft kiss on his lips, “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me too.”

Trent’s eyes went big and glassy, he was giving you that doe eyed look that made you all flustered. “So lucky to have you.” he muttered.

How lucky you were that this boy was all yours.

trentarnold66 just posted!

trentarnold66 Love yourz (and mine) 💛

comments on this post has been limited.

yourusername <333

judebellingham 🫡🤍

jordanhenderson ❤️❤️

virgilvandijk 🫶🫶

luisdiaz19_ 💛

liverpoolfc love this 🫶

bukayosaka87 Love y’all ❤️

user1 OMG???!!!

user2 TRENT WHAT IS THIS

user3 is this the announcement?????

user4 AWW

user5 why did my heart break

reblog for a kiss <3

[trashogram]

The inbox is open again!!! It's great to send asks again, but I'm most relieved that you didn't receive any troll asks ^^

So, let's kick off this new year with my re-write for;

Blitzø and Loona

Blitzø

Honestly, up until that Stolitz BS, I like Blitzø's character! He seems perfect for Hell, and although he's a murderous asshole, he has enough relatability(?) For the audience to engage with the protagonist outside of dark humor. So I don't think I would change Blitzø so much.

Well, one thing I'll change. Cut out all the dog piling he has gone through in Season 2. I mean, yeah, Blitzø needs to account for his actions and realize that he's only hurting himself in the long run. But he needs therapy and his found family coming together, not everyone in his life to call him a horrible person and not even offer him support or apologies when he needs it (I'm thinking of Fizzaroli specifically, not Stolas because I'm more than likely going to just erase the Stolitz. Yes, Fizz got hurt real bad in that fire, and he was led to believe Blitzø abandoned him. He needed that apology and the closure. But you know who else needed those two things? Blitzø, the guy who never meant to destroy everything. The guy who probably watched his mother die by that mistake, get kicked out by his father and be fed the same manipulation that Fizz was- all after he watched his own parent favor Fizzaroli because he made more money. Why does Fizz get a pass saying "I'm sorry" for never reaching out and assuming Blitzø wanted to hurt everyone?? Or even something like "If I had known..." or "It's not your fault"??? Maybe it's just me, but it's kinda bugging me that Blitzø is the one who has to apologize to everyone, but no one seems to see he needs some nurturing too.)

Oh! Knowing myself, I would have made Blitzø blind in his right eye, the one that got affected by the blast. Or at the very least, make it white to show it was affected. Can you imagine Blitzø with one red eye and one white eye, kinda like Sallie Mae's eye, and little hints to his partial blindness with him being more partial with his left side (like becoming ambidextrous or aiming a gun with his left side), or him bumping into things on his left side? Oh! Can you imagine how much cooler it'd be that with his blindness, he's able to become one of the top assasins in Hell?!

Those photos of Blitzø crossing himself out, I think I would change that. Cause like, everyone can see Blitzø's obvious self-hatred and they don't react at all to it?? Blitz would still hang pictures of his loved ones on the living room walls, but you'll notice that they all conveniently leave him out. It's all about Loona, Millie, Moxxie, even Barbie. But no Blitzø. It's a subtle detail that people in the show may miss. But if anyone goes to look through his room, you'll find photos of himself cut up, burnt, and shredded by his own hand. Some may even look like he cut himself out of some pictures in the living room.

One more thing that, knowing myself, I would have done is still keep Blitzø stalking his employees. But instead of it being him wanting to turn their OTP into an OT3, it stems more from how he was raised. Think about it, Blitzø, Barbie, Fizz, and any other kids who might have been part of the acts had the entire circus with them. Knowing myself, I would have made it that since Buckzo is such a deadbeat and only cared for Fizz, the other actors and clowns pitched in to help Tilla raise the twins. Especially as she grew sicker and sicker. So, to Blitzø, co-workers were also family. Him constantly prying into M&M's and Loona's lives is more him trying to recreate that big family he had. He'd constantly suggest they all might as well move in together. He'd refer Millie and Moxxie as Loona's aunt and uncle and proclaim himself as the uncle to their future kid ("Sir, we're not even mates!? We're just dating??" // "Not with that attitude you guys won't be!") etc. He feels like if they all aren't this huge family that work together, they'll all grow apart, and he'll be alone again. It'd still be Blitzø projecting his desire for love onto Millie and Moxxie, but in a more familial/platonic way, I guess?

But I also liked Blitzø just loving them and wanting to be part of their relationship/wanting a relationship like theirs. Poly love needs to be explored more in media imo and Blitzø definitely seems like the kind of guy to carry the polyamory flag at pride to me. So I want to keep this, but knowing myself if I was the one writing the show, I would have thought of the above route instead 😅 but I figured i should still share because why not? ^^

Loona

I saw some redesign of Loona that changed her to be 18, closer to age with Octavia and more like a kid. Honestly, I think I would have done that. Have Blitzø adopt Loona when she was 13, and by the time she can get her Hellbies shot, she's 18. It is important to show the fear and suffering kids that age out of the system are put through. But honestly, the show didn't do too good a job of that, I think. (And, this could just be me, but with all of the sexualized merch of Loona, it feels like Viv only made her 22 years old so they can have her smoke, drink and be furry bait for the show. Had this been any other creator, I wouldn't have thought this. But with Viv... yeah.) So yeah, in my re-write, Loona is younger. A legal adult (by our standards), but still a kid who is still figuring out herself and the world, if we're all being honest.

Apologies for the ranting. That'll be the last one, I promise.

Another reason for that age difference. In Hell, since she's just a hellhound and not seen as an actual child or person, anyone who takes a hellhound in can return them anytime they want while they're still minors. Loona has had owners who always returned her when she fought back. She was punished for simply standing up for herself in a society that sees her as nothing more than muscle at the most. So when Blitzø adopted her and proclaimed her as his daughter, she was skeptical. She kept her guard up around him and never called him Dad for five years, even though she wanted to in the last few years (the times she almost did though, she caught herself on time or said it so quietly Blitzø didn't catch it)

I would want to make an episode of her 18'th birthday, the final day that Blitzø can return her or kick her out to the streets, she's terrified. She's panicking in her room, switching between hugging herself and packing her valuables while she can and trying not to cry. Even though he's been nothing but caring towards her and has never given her up as his daughter before, today is the day that'll show if he really means it and or if she was right to keep him, Millie and Moxxie, at a distance. She tenses up when she hears a knock on her door before Blitzø cheerfully tells her he's got a surprise for her in the kitchen and mentally prepares herself. But when she goes outside, she's greeted with the sight of a gift on the counter next to two full plates of breakfast food, and the imp happily greeting her with "Happy birthday, Loony!" Before slowly beginning to cry as it dawns on him that she's all grown up now.

And there, Loona can really see Blitzø never saw her as an animal he can just return. She has a family with Blitzø. Her dad. That's when she can finally open up to him and let him in. And I guarantee you, they both would have cried.

... I'm not sure if I should include my OC in this. But if I can, then another reason for Blitzø adopting Loona when she was younger, it contrasts how Bella aged out of the system while Loona got to be adopted before she was. They both were still put through a lot since that was where they grew up, but Bella is just grateful that Loona made it out before she had to go through the same fate she did.

Of course, I'm definitely changing Loona's attitude and treatment towards Blitzø. Yeah, she's been through so much in the pound, but that doesn't give her the excuse to abuse others. I would have put more emphasis on Loona being more awkward and trying to stay at a distance from the others rather than her insulting or hurting them. She does verbally bite back a few times, but here it's treated as a kid who learned that as a defense mechanism against something she thought was an attack on her rather than "haha the wolf made the possum cry"

Maybe- MAYBE I'd have one time where Loona actually hurt Blitzø or the others. Like if she threw something in their general direction and it hit them unintentionally, or she shoves them away in a playful or startled manner and it was a lot stronger than she intended. But afterward, she realizes what she has done and tries to make it better, apologizing while she picks them up or cleans up the mess, hands shaking because she's convinced that she's going to get it now. Either Blitzø is going to treat her like everyone else has, or he's going to return her back to the pound. But the point is that it wouldn't be played for laughs. It's treated as something serious.

I'm unsure if I would have Loona drink and smoke. It is Hell, so I doubt underage usage is uncommon. But it can also be difficult to broach. If I did, though, Blitzø wouldn't just let it happen. That's his daughter wrecking herself before she's even fully grown. As someone who also stole his dad's booze and the other performers' smokes, he knows it's not healthy. When Loona is old enough, she can drink and smoke all she wants. But not when it'll really hurt her. It's unfamiliar to her to have someone care about her health outside of making sure she doesn't spread diseases, but that's one of the first signs that Blitzø truly cares about her.

And the little things that Loona does to show her own care would be shown more often. Even if she's still unsure to call Blitzø her father until the birthday episode, it's been five years since he took her in as his own. She wants these people to be her family, but she can't let her guard down too much yet. She'll put labels on food she knows belongs to who if they forgot to instead of just taking it for herself. She texts M&M what Blitzø is up to, so they'll be prepared when he drops in. And she'll check up on Blitzø whenever he holes himself up in the bedroom or bathroom.

Basically, instead of writing Loona as a one-dimensional moody teenager-but-not-really, I want to give her actual growth. Show how she's changes from the scarred pup in the pound and her self-destructive habits... Just like her father. Blitzø and Loona would mirror each other in certain ways despite how differently they grew up. Once his mother died, Blitzø had nobody. And when he saw Loona in the pound that day, with the same hopeless and scared look in her eyes that she tried to hide behind a defensive snarl, he saw himself. And he couldn't let her slip through the cracks.

Also, I'm considering giving her and Blitzø a sense of survivors guilt. She didn't seem to get along with many of the other hounds, but whether she did or not, she knows all too well how awful that place is. And how the hell could Blitzø not have survivors guilt after that fire?? Maybe one day, he could have talked to Loona and found out how she felt, and assured her how she shouldn't blame herself. It's not her fault that she got somewhere safe, and it's not her fault how the pound treats the hellhoubds inside. And maybe, as he's telling her all these things, he has a moment to himself when he realizes that that should apply to him as well.

This is all I've got so far, but I'm pretty sure I'm forgetting some things I wanted to add 😅 I'll just add it to the notes if I think of it. I hope you like these!

Next up is Barbie and Fizz, so stay tuned! I got big plans for them.

EEEEEEEEEE!!! I’m so happy to see more rewrites for HB from you! 💕 Your ideas are 🧑‍🍳 💋 top notch 😄

For Blitzø — I agree with you! I liked him initially bc he does fit as a protagonist in Hell. He should be an asshole, but with enough relate-ability or charm that the audience can hold onto throughout the series to remain invested. And I love the idea of Blitzø sustaining an injury beyond the scars, especially with you pitching ideas on how Blitzø adapts to partial blindness!

I am definitely in favor of taking out the dogpiling. It’s so painful to sit through, and I feel like it would be for any character whether they “deserve” it or not. It’s just not enjoyable to watch. I also like the idea of the Blitzø and Fizzarolli relationship getting a better rewrite where both characters are able to receive comfort and closure. I think it would take a full season at least to address how this rift happened and to come to a somewhat satisfying conclusion. I like the possibility of exploring Fizzarolli seeing Blitzø’s behavior in a new light — potentially Fizz realizing how Buckzo manipulated both him and his son, and how Blitzø and Barbie endured an insane level of abuse by the man while Fizz had no idea.

With M&M, I really love the idea of Blitzø’s stalking being more of him just wanting to be close to them in a familial way. It’s very sweet, although I’m also not averse to the idea of Moxxie/Millie/Blitzo (I in fact preferred that idea in S1 😄).

NOW LOONA

Your rework of her character makes me cry 😭 in a good way! But ahhh, she’s more than tolerable the way you write her. I actually feel so much sympathy for this poor pup, and understand her lashing out (but not in an intentionally malicious way that includes physical violence, at least not without recompense or consequence). And you show respect for her as a character, rather than as furry bait — which I agree is what Loona is in the show proper 😒

I don’t think I have anything to add because her rewrite is perfect (and I do adore the idea with your OC so much 🥰).

[salty-croissants]

Heya! Just hear me out:

When their s/o buys matching hoodies (w/ Bullfrog & Rayman/Ramon)

Thank you for the request ! 

This is a really wholesome and original idea of a prompt , I really enjoyed writing it :D

I apologize for the long wait , but it’s been a very , very busy week , and I’ve been feeling a bit too tired to write anything the past days … sorry about that ;( 

Anyway , I hope this turned out okay ! 

Details : use of gender neutral reader ; 

established relationships ; 

no warnings needed 

Bullfrog 💚

When you come back home and show him the matching hoodies you got while you were outside , Bullfrog is definitely very surprised : 

I honestly don’t think he has ever received something like this as a gift , so expect him to be especially enthusiastic .

< Merci beaucoup my dear , it looks so nice ! > 

< Haha , you’re welcome sweetie ! 

I just couldn’t help myself : the idea of sharing some matching clothing with you sounded amazing to be honest ~ > 

This frog will have the brightest smile on his face when you’re both wearing the matching hoodies … 

He just can’t stop gushing about how much he likes his and just how cute you look in yours , it never fails to make you smile ://)

The other Ghosts have seen you two with the matching hoodies occasionally , and while Dolph thinks it’s … well , maybe a bit too cheesy , Jade definitely supports you both , even suggesting more matching clothing you could get … 

< Oh - you guys should definitely try wearing these ! 

I think you’d look super cute in them ! > 

< *sigh* … please don’t encourage this . > 

It’s especially nice when you’re in the safety of your home , cuddling under the comforting warmth of the hoodies and just enjoying each other’s company …

< y/n , thanks again for this hoodie … I just love it ! >

< Don’t mention it … I just really wanted to do something nice for you , y’know ?

If anyone deserves that , it’s you . >

< Aw , venez ici mon amour ~ > 

< Heyy - hahah , that tickles honey ! ~ > 

Rayman 🧡

To say that Rayman is happy about your gift would be an understatement : 

the fact that you decided to surprise him with a matching hoodie just to see him smile is enough to make his daily stress caused by his job disappear for a few precious minutes … 

< So uh , do you like it ? I wasn’t sure about the color at first , I thought it might be a bit too much , but these were the last matching hoodies they had left , and - > 

< Like it ? 

y/n , I love it ! You couldn’t have chosen better ! > 

Rayman is already a big fan of spoiling you , so as soon as he understands that you’re into matching clothing you better believe that he’s going to buy you a lot more of them in the future … maybe exaggerating a little sometimes , but he just wants to do all he can to make you feel loved and appreciated .

< Woah - Ray what happened ? You look like you just bought an entire store ! > 

< Uff - it’s okay ,  I just gotta carry these inside … gimme a second … > 

< Hold on , let me help you …

I really appreciate you getting me all these gifts honey , but maybe don’t get so many next time : I don’t want you to hurt yourself carrying them around ! > 

< Heh … you’re right , you’re right …

I just couldn’t help myself : you deserve all the best things I could possibly give you . > 

< Pfft … you’re always so sweet , thank you ~ > 

< Anything for you , y/n ~ > 

When you’re separated during the day , Rayman likes to carry his hoodie with him and keep it by his side when he’s at work : just looking at it makes him feel so happy to have a loving partner like you , you truly are the best thing that’s ever happened to him ❤️

He loves it whenever the two of you are outside wearing the matching hoodies , it’s like a nice little way of showing to everyone around that his heart belongs to you and you alone … 

Also if you ever feel worried about him getting embarrassed by it , Rayman is quick to make your anxiety go away . 

< That’s nonsense darling … this isn’t just any hoodie , it’s a gift from you , and that makes it all the more special : I could never get embarrassed by it ! > 

Ramon 🖤

Okay , so Ramon might get … pretty worried at the thought that you went to buy something , especially without him : 

he’s the one who is supposed to watch over you , plus Eden knows who you are … they could’ve taken the opportunity to capture you and do horrible things to you .

… however , he can’t bring himself to be actually angry . 

< I’m sorry Ram … I just wanted to do something nice for you , you’ve been looking down lately and I thought … > 

< No - no no , I like the hoodie y/n , I do … it was very sweet of you to do this for me .

Still , please remember that Eden is on the hunt for us , you can’t just go outside without a way to protect yourself . 

Just … be more careful next time , okay ? 

I love you , and I can’t bare the thought of you getting hurt … > 

< I love you too , sweetie … I’ll be more careful , I promise . > 

Sometimes , Ramon is going to hold the hoodie and just … stare at it , quietly reflecting to himself : 

you put your life on the line to get it for him … you risked getting hurt , all to give him a gift that could make him happy … 

While that thought worries him , he just can’t help but smile a little in front of your sheer dedication to make him smile .

It can get very cold in the hiding place you’re both staying in , so you and Ramon definitely cuddle while wearing the hoodies : 

they’re so warm and cozy … they really make those little moments of affection even better . 

< Are you comfortable like this , y/n ? >

< Mhm … couldn’t be better ~ >

It’s not rare for you to stumble upon a sleeping Ramon using the hoodie as a blanket , and he just looks … so cute ;//; 

He often has trouble sleeping , so having your gift so close to him definitely helps him relax … not as much as actually holding you , of course , but it’s still nice ! 

[friend-shaped-but]

Day 2: Bheem

Word count: 1981 @pandavapanchaliweek

Along with Ladoos, I suspect Bheem also ingests a good amount of "love my wife" juice. He also ingests blood, though soooooo…. That's quite interesting. (A guy wrote a PhD thesis on it actually).

And as tempted as I am to write a fluffy one shot about our Pavanatmaj and Parshati, I want to do something different this time. Here is an essay analysing bheem where I try to reconcile his 'gentle giant' persona with the terrifying and cruel 'vrikodar' persona, and the incident where they come together.

Bheem is honestly my favourite character in the epic, and I always get ready to scream about how awesome he is every time I read about him. Every time I do this, I realise something new about him that I hadn't realise before. I want to study him under a microscope. And through this essay I plan to do exactly that. I want to choose the event that, to many people, is the grand finale of the Bheem-Draupadi saga: Bheem fulfilling his vow of ripping open Dusshasan's chest and putting it on Draupadi's hair, fulfilling her vow of keeping her hair unbound until he bathes it in Dusshasana's blood. For trying to reach a more complete analysis, this essay will be divided into two sections, analysing that incident in both literature and TV media.

Literature:

Draupadi ~Aruna Dhere:

In her book on Draupadi, Dr. Aruna Dhere touches upon Draupadi and Bheem's relationship in both the sections of her book.

In the first section, 'Draupadi- The Human', she considers the incident from the view that Draupadi's attractiveness is repeatedly brought up in the epic and is important to the plot in the sense that it attracts everyone around her. Whether it be well-intentioned but dramatic compliments from Sudeshna during Draupadi's stint as Sairandhri, the attraction of the Pandavas, or even the ill-intentioned gazes of men like Duryodhan, Dusshasan, Kichak, Jayadrath, etc. But Dr. Aruna Dhere says that this kind of beauty or attractiveness cannot be viewed in silos, for it has the protection and blessings of righteousness, competency, and fearlessness. It will cause(whether it be direct or indirect) the inevitable destruction of every power that seeks to cause it harm. Just as there were people seeking to hurt Draupadi, there were also people who wanted the best for her and wanted to protect her. While(rightly) criticizing Irawati Karve in her recap of Yuganta, she also says that Dr. Karve did justice to Bheem and Draupadi, portraying them as a genuinely passionate couple. My favourite thing, however, about the first section is it's conclusion: "Draupadi is the kind of multifaceted character that wins everyone's hearts in and out of the epic. Perfectly balancing devotion and self-respect, self-effacement and self esteem, she creates an indelible mark on the epic. … She had a heart that never became apathetic, despite all it went through."

In the second Section, "Draupadi: The Divine", Bheem is mentioned as the staunchest supporter of Draupadi. Just as fire and the oxygen that sustains it always go together, so do Draupadi and Bheem. She says that calling Draupadi as Bheem's wife would be reductive in the sense that their connection went above and beyond, making them partners in the truest sense. Bheem viewed her as the driving force behind his actions(and not only in the war). He was the only one who understood the true depths of her hunger and she trusted him enough to be vulnerable in front of him. He fulfilled every single thing she asked of him, whether it be a harsh, bloody demand like Keechak's killing or the most tender one for lotuses from the forest. He stands up to Yudhishthir many times for her. Bheem is ready to lose even his humanity in order to avenge Draupadi and uproot the very cause(s) of her unhappiness. She is at the root of every thing he does.

RAKSHASA BHIMA: WOLFBELLY AMONG OGRES AND BRAHMANS ~David L Gitomer.

One of the main reasons that the title of Rakshasa is given to bheem by Gitomer on the basis of pretty much the same thing that I said earlier. Bheem is ready to lose his humanity for protecting the ones he loves, and this intention, this driving force behind his brutality is the very thing that sets him apart from the 'villains' of the epic. Though he is just as brutal and cruel, ready to spill blood and desiring war, the noble driving force behind his actions, sometimes his brothers and most of the times Draupadi makes him one of the heroes. It is no surprise, then, that our literary works echo and establish the importance since (I am pulling this from my class notes), one of the hallmarks of Indian Ethical systems is that they value intention.

Gitomer, while citing Venisamhara, says that among Bheem's qualities stated by Bhattanarayan, his passionate devotion to Draupadi is a chief one. In the venisamhara as well, his vow with regards to Draupadi is also stated quite poetically binds the whole narrative together. "Swinging around my throbbing arms I will smash this wrathful mace and grind the pair of Sudyodhana's thighs. With hands reddened by Kuru blood, clotted, sticky and thick, my queen, Bhima will bind up your lovely hair"

There are many close symbolic connections between the hair on a woman's head and her menstruation in both classical epics and the modern day. Even today, I have observed that girls are told to wash their hair only on certain days of their periods and not otherwise. The play Venisamhara does not mention the fact that Draupadi is menstruating(at the time of the dyut sabha) in his play, presumably for propriety's sake, but it is referenced multiple times through not only Bheem's vow but also the extended metaphor of war as a sacrifice. Alf Hiltebeitel in his essay "Draupadi's Hair" says that the enactment of the promise makes for a striking, unavoidable visual callback to her condition at that time.

Gitomer goes on to say that Bheem is not only putting blood on her hair literally but by doing that he is ending her status as a "Virahini", a woman bereft, he is applying salve to soothe the wounds of the dyut sabha, and by applying the blood as a form of Sindoor he is anointing and reconsecrating her as a queen. The connection of love and obsession and cannibalism goes hand in hand and Gitomer references that in this section as well. Bheem's devotion to draupadi is so impactful that they easily become the nayak and nayika when the epic travels to the stage and becomes a drama. There is a great number of incidents in the epic which details the special relationship between bheem and Draupadi, with the Saugandhika episode, Jayadrath's abduction, and the Keechak-vadh being the chief ones.

The full essay explores much, much more, keeping specifically Bheem's cruelty and bloodthirstiness in mind, and I have been unable to capture the full essence of the essay, it is certainly an interesting look into his many encounters with rakshasas and his place as the protector of his family, while also analyzing how the play Venisamhara portrays the various facets of Bheem's personality.

Bheem in TV media:

In this section I will be analysing both, the 2013Mahabharat by Siddharth Kumar Tewary which aired on Star Plus and the 1989 version by BR Chopra which aired on Doordarshan Bharati. For ease of writing and reading I will be referring to these adaptations as '2013 mbh' and '1989 mbh' respectively.

Saurav Gurjar played Bheem in 2013 mbh. His portrayal was somewhat of a departure from the silent, serious Bheem who worried for his family. Although Bheem from the source material does have his lighter moments, he has very few speaking lines. However, Saurav's Bheem is somewhat of a blabbermouth and is used as the comic relief of the group. He is also a bit of a manchild. Bheem is quick to please, but he is also quick to anger. His emotions are fleeting and quick and it contributes to his personality in this show as a bit of a manchild. He is fiery, impassioned, brash, but he is also incredibly soft and gentle. However, whichever version of Bheem is being played out on the stage/screen/page, his oath and the fulfillment of it are the climatic scenes where all the moments that established certain parts of his character come together, much like a jigsaw puzzle, to make everything he stands for shine through. The scene in this version is grand, epic(ha.), with the pandavas looking on in cold anger and Duryodhan, Karna, and Shakuni looking on in shock. Dusshasan's karma is retributive(it's not a retributive concept of justice as a philosophical doctrine, however, a lot of media uses it as a tool for circular storytelling. It's cool both ways) with the way Bheem drags him around being remniscient of and paralleling the way he dragged Draupadi into the dyut sabha. The music reaches to a crescendo, the beats strong and the lyrics enunciated. Everyone is watching, the scene says. Everyone from the pandavas to draupadi to the upapandavas. It is a spectacle. There's the blood sweat and tears(literally) of everyone involved. Draupadi power-walks through the muddied battlefield, rage in her eyes, her previous dialogues echoing. A bheem soaked in blood doles out a similar fate to her, with Bhatta-narayan's lines echoing in my mind: With hands reddened by Kuru blood, clotted, sticky and thick, my queen, Bhima will bind up your lovely hair The marvels of TV production mean that the blood really does look clotted, sticky, and thick, and incredibly realistic, and finally, when draupadi tells him to stop(with one shake of her head!! With one shake of her head!), he does it, and then breaks down. Star Plus, to me, nails the climatic aspects of this scene, putting their skills to good use to give it the grandeur it deserves.

In 1989 mbh, Pravin Kumar Sobti played Bheem. He was a man of few words, but what he lacked in dialogues and flair, he made up with skill. It is quite commendable how his deep knowledge of traditional wrestling techniques comes together with his acting skills, the two seamlessly blending together to create an image of Bheem that I adore. He has remarkable dialogues, like, "Yadi tum chaho, panchali", and her chahat, or her wish, is enough to make him do anything(a continuous thread in this essay). The fight, here, isn't grand. The music is minimal, with the duel being centre stage. It happens on a random corner of the battlefield, with nobody watching, with no dramatic monologues, and certainly no poetic parallels. The actual fight is just two men, in the blazing heat, and the fight can be stopped only by death. After killing dusshasan, bheem simply takes some blood on his hand, goes to Draupadi's tent, and holds it out to her. Draupadi herself takes it from his hands and applies it onto her hair, all the while gazing at his bloody visage with this soft sort of love and wonder. What 1989 mbh accomplishes is laying the scene bare and showing us the true essence of it. Somewhere, in the version where she takes the blood in her own hands, I felt like it underlined her agency.

Bheem's vow and it's fulfillment, irrespective of whether it is an interpolation or not, is an important part of how we view the text today, and every version presents a different view, hilighting different things about each character in this climatic moment which defines a lot of their character.

Sources:

Dhere, Aruna: 'Draupadi', pg 28, 31. pg 64-66

Karwe, Irawati: Yuganta- The End Of An Epoch, pg 45-68

Gitomer, David: RAKSHASA BHIMA: WOLFBELLY AMONG OGRES AND BRAHMAN

Mahabharat, Season 27, Episode 3

Mahabharat, Episode 88