#honestly dick could ask tim a bunch of questions too since fanon dick's intelligence gets downplayed

[hood-ex]

Need a fic where Dick gets zapped by some magic hoo-ha and starts acting like his fanon self, and everyone hates him because of it, and they're like, "We have got to get him back to normal like yesterday."

Fanon Dick transgressions:

Dick promptly moves back into the manor (or whatever the fuck Bruce's current abode is called idr). He basically turns into Buddy the Elf and just wants to eat sugary shit that does absolutely nothing for him. Because of this, the pantry is stocked full of sugary cereal. Whenever Bruce tries to tell Dick to actually cook something for himself, Dick's like, "You know I can't microwave anything that doesn't have a preset button." And when Bruce looks rightly annoyed by this, Dick goes in to give Bruce an apologetic hug, and Bruce cannot handle that amount of gross affection, so he's constantly dodging Dick's hug attempts or making excuses to hurriedly get away from Dick.

The Titans try to take things into their own hands to help Dick get back to normal, but whenever they try to get Dick to come back to the Tower with them, or to hang out in general, Dick's just like, "Sorry guys, I'm going to be with my family tonight. And tomorrow. Probably the entire weekend too."

Damian can't stand Dick's habit of babying him and calling him "Dami" and "Baby Bird." Like Bruce, he has a radar for when Dick's about to get overly sappy and affectionate, and he quickly removes himself from the room when he gets a ping.

Dick suddenly doesn't know how to do anything when Jason's around. Doesn't know how to hold a baby. Doesn't know Spanish as well as Jason does. Doesn't know how to crack an egg. Jason would find it funny if he wasn't so annoyed by Dick constantly pestering him to come home to eat Alfred's cooking. (Bonus points if this occurs when Alfred is dead/Jason is already integrated back into the family).

Dick constantly asks Tim if he's okay, and when Tim asks, "Yeah, why?" Dick frowns and says, "You're usually on your third cup of coffee by now."