#honestly I dunno why but the more popular ship tags are in crossover fics or otherwise fics I'm not interested in at all

[thsc-confessions]

"I don't like Henry ships very much bcs he's incredibly aroace to me so I exclude the ship tags when looking for fics to read but I can't help but be worried that I'm missing out on good stuff I'd otherwise enjoy :(" submitted by @fastrainbowdas

[falloutglow]

Writer Tag

Tagged by @glitchvault74 & @valkyriejack thanks yo!

Tagging: @roachvalentine, @its-sixxers, @memailikesnukacola, @bigwinged, @deacons-wig, @saintdeanthomas AND ANYONE ELSE WHO WANTS TO DO THIS!!! If you see this I TAG THEE

1.  How many works do you have on AO3?

Just recently 74 total!

For just Fallout its 26

2.  What’s your total AO3 word count?

Total: 163,825

For Fallout: about 55k

...I wrote so goddamn much for Pnat years ago its unreal XD

3. What are you top 5 fics by kudos?

I’m ignoring the overall fics and just going by Fallout only HAHA

1- Wrong (Its Hancock/Nick Valentine so I’m not surprised)

2- Waking Up (for whumptober 2020; Deacon/Nick Valentine)

3- Sensors and Sensations (Mysterious Stranger/Nick Valentine....are yall seeing a pattern here?)

4- Take Me Out With the Crowds (Nick Valentine & Echo (oc) ;w; hell yea 1st fic where they interact haha!!)

5- On Top of Sanctuary Hills and Far Away (my chapter fic that introduces my psyker gal Echo!)

4. Do you respond to comments?  Why or why not?

Sometimes, so long as I can remember! If I’m on mobile...usually harder to respond haha but if I’m on my computer its much easier. I’ll do it mostly cause I wanna let the commenter know I appreciate the kind words and having them take the time out of their day to tell me how they feel about my fics! Plus, its a way to build a bit of a community on ao3

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

In my personal opinion....either Lee’s Library (Walking Dead Telltale video game) oooor one of the many bad endings in Counterbalance (Paranatural) because ya gurl wrote a Choose Your Own Adventure fic and boy howdy. it depends on which end you get XD

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Hmmmm, honestly not sure? Hella subjective honestly.

7. Do you write crossovers?  If so, what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

*SIIIIIGH* I used to. I’m not as obsessed with crossovers like I was as a kid. Technically, the craziest one I wrote when I was like 12 (damn preteen me had such a drive) was some wild and hella ambitious Camp au of sorts with a bunch of cartoon shows mixed with some ocs. There were...soooooo many characters to keep track of, easily like 30. Possibly more, maybe less.

I never published it cause it was for me to be super self indulgent and back then I also had to share a computer/laptop with my sisters and mom. I did not have access to flashdrive/usb yet, but damn did I fill like a notebook and half up with that goddamn wild au.

I wonder if its in one of the totes in the basement....hmmmm....

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. It was a long time ago and I don’t remember it nor do I care to remember that shit. Anyone who leaves hate on fics? Keep it to your damn self. Don’t hate read. That’s such a childish thing to do and you don’t like it? Why waste time on something you hate? It makes 0 sense! Go find something self indulgent and learn how to be nice.

9.  Do you write smut?  If so, what kind?

I...have... No I will not elaborate...

10.  Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No idea.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Bold of you to think I’m that popular lol

12.  Have you ever co-written a fic before?

...Yes? I think so???? But it was a long while ago. I’m mostly a solo act lol

13.  What’s your all-time favourite ship?

PTH I’m a multishipper I cannot!!! Okay fine Nick Valentine x HAPPINESS LET HIM BE HAPPY I say while putting him through shit HAHA

(u_u I like to also ship him with my psyker oc Echo... why write fic if yaint being self indulgent?)

14.  What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

That’s like all my WIPs tbh. The fact that I finish a wip is a goddamn miracle.

Though I’d LOVE to do my fallout haunted house fic with the END squad I’ve called “Follow You Down”. However, dunno if or when I’ll ever actually make it more than some massive chapter fic idea involving haunted mannequins, literature references, ghosts, and eldritch horrors.

15. What are your writing strengths?

My brain is a goddamn corkboard. I can slap down ideas like crazy and somehow create an elaborate way to make it work.

16.  What are you writing weaknesses?

... *leans against a closet door that won’t close* Haha funny thing. You know how I just said I have a fuck ton of ideas? >_>;

I’m also a slow writer, but mostly cause I think my words through.

17.  What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Nah. I don’t think I’m qualified. Now if its a bilingual joke? I’m aaaaall over that shit haha My personal fav: “Why do French people prefer to have small breakfasts? Because one egg is un oeuf!” 

18.  What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Danny Phantom. It is also the first fandom I looked up fics for LOL

19.  What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

OOF that’s a hard one... It’d have to be between On Top of Sanctuary Hills and Far Away (fo4) aaaand my most recently posted fic The Crooked Tooth (fo4)

The former cause istg it felt like I unlocked something while writing that fic. Pre-Sanctuary Hills fic I STRUGGLED at getting a higher word count. 1-2k was my maximum. 3k was an achievement! Both of these fics I’ve hit over 5k for!!! I’m still flabbergasted by this development! And... the latter is sooooo self indulgent hahahaha got that cute cute comfort, mutual pining (while both being idiots about it), while also slapping in that good good spooky shit >:3c

[twotwinks]

benthan for 001, and benji for 002

I hope you realize what you’ve unleashed here- It’s so ungodly long that I’m adding a cut to save your dashes.

001 | Benthan

When I Started Shipping Them

So I went back through my posts because I very vividly remember when I realized I’d fallen for this ship. I first mentioned that I might have started shipping them in the tags of a post on September 15, 2018, and after I acknowledged it, I was sold on it. So I’ve shipped these precious soft boys for just a little shy of two months!

My Thoughts

This is so vague and mean, I don’t even know where to begin… I just… I love them a lot. I don’t think I’ve ever really felt this strongly for a ship before. I mean, I’ve had OTPs before, but never an OTP that actively made me want to rip my heart out because I just can’t handle the emotions it causes, positive or negative. It’s also the first ship I’ve ever written fic for, and it honestly just feels so natural, it’s so easy to write romantic stuff for them and virtually impossible to write something platonic. Plus, without this ship, I never would’ve made any tumblr friends. I’d still just be sitting on the outskirts, randomly reblogging stuff and trying desperately to come up with decent content for my fandom blog. Now I know Ruth and Cassidy and Stanislas and everybody else, and I have so much fun seeing everyone’s posts and participating when I’m brave enough (even though I still sometimes wonder if I fit in, and even if I don’t, I’m just grateful everyone still plays along with me) and honestly it’s one of the brightest parts of my life right now. I see a note or a message or someone tags me in something and sometimes it makes me want to cry because people are thinking about me. So I love this ship even more for that.

What Makes Me Happy About Them

There’s just so much. There’s so much to be happy about them. I love the way they smile at each other. I love how loyal they are to each other. I feel like they fit the “I’d follow you to the ends of the earth with only mild complaining” better than anyone else, because they would, they’d do anything for each other. And even if you look at their relationship as platonic, that’s an incredibly strong friendship, and it just warms my heart.

What Makes Me Sad About Them

The fact that one day one of them is probably going to end up dying trying to save the other one. I’d really like for them to leave fieldwork so they can live happy and safe together for the rest of their days, but I know that Ethan would never be able to live like that. Fallout told us that much. And you can bet that as long as Ethan is in the field, Benji’s going to be right by his side.

Things Done in Fanfic that Annoy Me

I dunno, really. Most of the Benthan fic we’ve got is pretty solid. Some of the smut’s a little weak, but I only occasionally venture there, so it’s not too big of a deal. One thing that does sometimes bug me, even though it’s literally the most nonsensical and ridiculous thing to be bothered by, is when they’re referred to as boyfriends or use terms of endearment on each other. I have no idea why it bothers me, it’s such a perfectly reasonable thing!!! I guess maybe I feel like they’ve just been friends with each other for so long and they know each other so well that they wouldn’t bother labeling it. At the end of the day, they’re still just Ethan and Benji, just like they’ve always been. I don’t know. I know it’s stupid, but it can still sometimes throw off the whole vibe of the fic for me. Which is ridiculous. I’m ridiculous.

Things I Look for in Fanfic

Good characterization. That’s such a big thing for me, especially now that Ethan and Benji have been my daydreaming muses for so long now. Their voices are so strong in my head, especially Benji’s. So a fic has to have really good characterization for me to love it. I also really like reading (and writing!) anything that deals with Benji’s trauma and hurt/comfort with Benji as the victim. He just deserves to be taken care of. Poor guy’s earned a hug or ten.

Who I’d be Comfortable Them Ending Up With, If Not Each Other

I suppose I’d be okay if Ethan and Ilsa ended up together. I really don’t want Ilsa to be demoted to the love interest, though. She’s such a good character, and Fallout already did her so dirty. But she’s the only other person I could see Ethan having a chance of being happy with. As for Benji, well… I think I’d just prefer him to stay a Single Pringle. If Ethan (or I!) can’t have him, no one can! I know Benji/Brandt is also a pretty popular ship, but it’s honestly just not my cup of tea. I can’t see it (or maybe I’m just too blinded by shipping Benthan so strongly).

My Happily Ever After for Them

Preferably for them to never ever set foot in the field again and buy a little house together where they host cozy holiday dinners and snuggle together on the couch after long days of training new agents and teaching them about the importance of the team dynamic. But, as I explained earlier, that’s unrealistic for these two. So, if they must remain in fieldwork, I pray that either they both manage to last long enough that they’re forced to retire (and then Benji will have to help Ethan cope with not being able to prevent bad things, so not exactly ideal) or that they both die together in the field, at the same time, so that neither of them will have to live with the guilt of losing the other (again, not ideal because then they’ll be DEAD).

Who is the Big Spoon/Little Spoon

Benji is the little spoon I don’t care if he’s taller I WILL FIGHT YOU ON THIS. Benji likes being held. It makes him feel safe after all he’s been through. Grounds him, you know? Gives him a sense of security. And Ethan likes holding Benji, because he knows that no one can hurt Benji when he’s there in Ethan’s arms, and even if Benji has nightmares, Ethan’s already right there to help him.

What is Their Favorite Non-sexual Activity

They are cuddlebugs. They snuggle everywhere, every chance they get. I don’t know if cuddling counts as an activity, though. I think they also like reading to each other. While cuddling. Because I can’t imagine a scenario where they could reasonably be in physical contact and yet wouldn’t be. So yeah. They like to cuddle.

002 | Benji

How I Feel About This Character

I… I love him. So much. Probably more than I should. Rogue Nation was the first M:I movie I saw, and I’d been kinda passively watching it until the high speed chase scene. I’d looked up from my crochet enough to notice Simon Pegg (who, at the time, was still just Scotty to me – can you believe that???), but then he started screaming during the chase, and I started paying attention, because hey, that’s exactly what I’d probably do in that situation, I like this guy. And then by the end of it Benji owned my heart, because Simon Pegg is a phenomenal actor and made me feel all of the emotions when Benji was strapped to the bomb. Mostly because Simon’s eyes are incredibly expressive, something I first noticed towards the end of Star Trek Into Darkness and still notice in most of his films. Then I went back and watched all the films, and I made small involuntary happy noises when he showed up in M:I:III. And he was so cute in Ghost Protocol. I nearly had a breakdown in the theater towards the end of Fallout (you know when I mean!) because I’m so attached to him. I actually legitimately said “Oh thank god” in the theater when it all worked out. I might have even cried a little. I was so worked up that I didn’t even fall for the bait-and-switch at the end. I didn’t have the emotional capacity to even process it as a possibility. So yeah, I think I’m unhealthily obsessed with Benji Dunn.

All the People I Ship Romantically with This Character

Ethan. It’s literally just Ethan. Ethan or bust.

My Non-romantic OTP for This Character

Benji and Ilsa are bros. Fire-forged friends. They’ve both gone against each other once or twice, but now they know where their loyalties lie, and they’ll help each other out when they need it. Total bros.

My Unpopular Opinion About This Character

I don’t know if I have one, really. Although I always kinda imagined Benji as a really good baker, or that he at least enjoys baking in his free time, but then I discovered that apparently a lot of people headcanon him as an awful cook? So maybe that’s one.

One Thing I Wish Would Happen/Had Happened with This Character in Canon

I just want his trauma to be addressed. He tries to talk about it in Ghost Protocol, and Jane and Ethan both look kinda worried, but then Brandt just jumps in and SHUTS HIM DOWN, and nothing more is said about it. And he’s been through much worse since then. Even if it’s just a simple, “Hey, you okay?” from LITERALLY ANYBODY. I’d take it. (I’d prefer it even more if Benji got a hug out of the deal. He needs a hug, poor baby.)

My OTP

Benthan. In case you haven’t figured it out by now.

My Crossover Ship

I have never actually considered this. And I’m not sure I will. I’m just so invested in Benthan, I don’t think I have the capacity to ship Benji with anybody else. I can’t even think of anyone he’d click so well with. (I’ve always been bad at the crackship thing anyway.) Maybe a lone Nick Frost character somewhere. Those always make for good ships, right?

A Headcanon Fact

Hmm… I’m really bad at this stuff, aren’t I? I either give away my answers way ahead of time or can’t come up with anything. Well, outside of Benji being a baker and my fun-to-think-about idea that all Simon Pegg characters are actually related to each other, I usually headcanon Benji as a pretty panicky sort. When I write his internal monologues, I usually get going with these long, looping, drawn-out sentences that all circle back and compound on each other and just make everything so much worse for him. He’s a worst-case-scenario kind of person. Even when things work out, he drives himself mad constantly running through the what-ifs. That’s probably me just projecting onto him a little, but I feel like it’s worked out okay in the few fics I’ve written. I also headcanon that he’s a big-time stargazer, especially when he feels overwhelmed, something that I originally chucked into a fic because I needed something for Benji to do (and also as a I’m-probably-the-only-one-who-got-it nod to Star Trek) but now I firmly stand by it as something he does.

There. That’s that. I started this two hours ago. I probably should’ve been in bed an hour and a half ago. This is ridiculously long. I hope someone finds my obsessive ramblings enjoyable instead of just irritating.

Thank you for giving me the chance to gush like this, Ruth! It feels like I never get to talk about the things I love often enough. At least not to people who actually want to hear me gush about them!