#holy fuck that all gob cost

[h-587-2]

Part Three: A Dark and Stormy Night

You walk up to the gates of an abandoned Hospital in the town you grew up. It’s dark tonight, and you can hear the sound of thunder rolling in the distance. You grip your flashlight tighter. You need to get in. You need answers.

> I examine the gate to see if it's climbable -or locked.

The gate is locked. It’s theoretically climbable, you’re an athlete after all, but there are some barbs at the top. You’d have to be careful.

> I take a deep breath and hold onto the flashlight with my mouth before attempting to climb the gate.

You do that. The mag light flashlight you’re carrying is a little big for your gob, but you are proudly able to fit your fist in there so it’s probably fine. You climb the gate, but as you swing your leg over the gate your pant leg snags the barbs. What do you do?

> I want to freak out and topple over but instead I hold onto the gate as tight as I can yank the leg that has been caught as hard as I can in an attempt to tear the fabric loose from it

You yank your left leg away from the barb, careful to keep your grip on the fence. Luckily, you manage to yank it away, but in the process the lower part of your jeans have been torn away. You are now wearing what is essentially a half jort. But you manage to get unstuck.

> Oh this is so sad. I climb down slightly saddened by my ruined half pants

This is so sad. Those were your favourite jeans. You climb down, and remove your mag light from your mouth. You have made it past the gate.

Your pant leg flutters down from the barb.

> I made it past the gate. but at what cost..

Jean Scrap has been added to your Inventory.

> LKJDSFLKJFDSKJF I say audibly.

Do you? Is... that what you’re going with?

> You heard me.

> I look around the area since I have succeeded the gate puzzle

You see a flag pole with no flag, two picnic tables, and the path to the entrance.

> I walk towards the entrance but I take a moment to look over the picnic tables

The picnic tables are solid concrete, undamaged by years of abandonment. There are many initials scratched into them and theyre covered in spray paint graffiti

You see something glinting under one of the tables.

> I poke my head under the table and look

You see a Hospital Employee ID. It’s covered in mud.

> I pick it up and clean it off with the fabric from my jeans

You clean the ID with the Jean Scrap. It’s is now a Dirty Cloth. the ID Is for a Doctor James Merrick. It states that he is a 36 year old Oncologist for the hospital. Huh. He’s a year older than you.

Doctor Merrick’s ID has been added to your Inventory.

> I approach the entrance to the hospital before stopping and looking at all of my inventory

You approach the entrance and check your inventory.

Inventory

Dirty Cloth

Doctor Merrick’s ID

Old Photo

Car Keys

Wallet

Cell Phone

> I examine the Old Photo

You examine the Old Photo. It’s yellow with age. It’s a picture of you as a child with two smiling women. Your heart hurts.

> Oh fuck. my heart hurts a lot.

> I put the photo back neatly, then look at my wallet for an ID. I seem to have forgotten my own name

You check your drivers license. Your name is Zephyr Newmaker.

> I put away my wallet and then continue into the building, turning on my flashlight as soon as it gets too dark.

You march up the steps to the hospital. Luckily, the building is unlocked and you make your way inside as the rain begins to pour.

You enter the main lobby of the hospital. You use your flashlight, as there is no power in the building.

> I examine the lobby

There’s a sign that says “No Running.”

There is a large reception area in front of you, and you are surrounded by waiting chairs on your left and right. The entire place reeks of mildew and dust. Past the reception is a hallway that leads further into the hospital. There is a defunct ticket taker near the door. The patient number on the machine is stuck at 420.

> I take the ticket number before heading down the hallway past the reception

Ticket 420 has been added to your Inventory.

> Nice.

You head down the hallway past the reception desk. The first thing you see is a smashed office door to your right.

The doorframe is splintered. It’s been completely bashed in.

There are two destroyed file cabinets and an old box computer, as well as an Inspirational Undertale Calendar on the floor. Holy shit. Undertale. Now that’s an old game. You vaguely remember playing it when you were 7 or 8.

> I look at the Calendar for nostalgia, but remember the year. I look over the destroyed file cabinets

There are hospital staff records in these file cabinets.

> I glance through the files looking for anything to catch my eye

You see a staff file for Doctor James Merrick, the man whose ID you currently have in your inventory. You also see a Nurse Jackie Newmaker. That’s her. That’s your mom.

You haven’t seen her outside of photographs in almost 25 years.

> I keep an eye on the file for Doctor Merrick but almost immediately pick up the file on my mom, careful to not cause any damage to any papers

She’s not smiling in her ID Photo, but it feels like she’s smiling at you anyway. She was transferred to this hospital a month before your Ninth birthday. She made you a cake in the shape of a stegosaurus. Looking back, it’s hard to believe that in a year, she’d be gone.

> I take a deep breath and hold back any possible tears before adding her file to my inventory. I silently miss her as I begin to look through Merricks file

You added Mom’s Staff File to your Inventory.You look through Doctor Merricks Staff File. He was the head Oncologist, and a highly distinguished member of the hospital. He’s handsome, for sure, but he also looks like that anime character, so. You win some you lose some. He was your Mom’s boss, but you don’t remember ever meeting him.

> I put the file down but try to take note of him. I look at the old computer box, but get ready to continue down the hall if there seems to be nothing else of interest

The old computer box has long since died. There is nothing of interest in this room, save for a rather large air vent on the far wall. You suppose it leads into the rest of the hospital. It looks like the grate has been unscrewed and popped off.

> I tap my foot. It seems like a silly idea but I go through the air vent to see the rest of the hospital, I keep my flashlight forward as I do

You hear something coming from the vent. You hear a distant voice, coming from the far end of the vent. One you haven’t heard in a long long time.

It’s been 25 years, but you still remember your Mama’s voice.

> I listen quietly and follow in the direction of the voice - or at least as much as I can through the vents

You follow quickly and quietly, flashlight in hand. You are getting closer. There is a light coming from the end of the vent. You can still hear her voice, albeit muffled and hard to hear, coming from the vent.

> I break my silence and quietly shout "Mom?" hurried and confused I continue down the vent

You yell “Mom?” And hurry down the vent. Her voice is getting further away.

> OH FUCK. I KEEP GOING

You begin to do the crawling equivalent of a sprint. You reach the light, the end of the vent and suddenly stumble out and into a storage closet. Her voice is gone, the silence of the hospital suddenly overbearing and full of dread. You hear footsteps outside of the storage closet. There is a slotted window in the door.

> Ok. Ok shit. I turn hide my light for a brief moment as I peak through the slotted window in an attempt to see who the footsteps belong to

You peer through the slotted window to see who the footsteps belong to and...

What the fuck. What the fuck. You rub at your eyes. He’s still there, walking past you. You rub your eyes once more, and once your fists come down, he’s already out of sight. Your breath begins to quicken and you can feel the beginnings of a panic take hold. The man you just saw walk past is Doctor Merrick, a man who died during the H-587-2 breakout nearly 25 years ago.

You just saw a ghost.

[obstructedantiquity]

>HADEAN: jerk the chain.

Featuring @rebatrolls‘ Hadean. A few weeks after their first messages, Hadean gets a hold of Riccin to rattle the cage further.

Things don’t go as planned.

[07:02] -- invertedDissident [ID] began pestering obstructedAntiquity [OA] at 19:02 --

[07:04] ID: isn't this the lowblood playing clown.

[07:05] OA: wELL, SHIT, LOOK WHO CAME CRAWLING OUT OF THE BUSHEs. :o) [07:05] ID: desert actually, not bushes. [07:05] OA: cAN'T SAY I RIGHTLY RECALL WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE, BUT GLAD TO SEE I LEFT A GODDAMN IMPRESSIOn. [07:05] ID: and less crawling and more confident striding. [07:06] OA: rEALLy. [07:06] OA: cONFIDENT STRIDINg. [07:06] ID: i confidently stride everywhere. [07:06] ID: it's the best mode fo transportation. [07:07] OA: ha. [07:08] OA: fUCK YOU, I CAN'T EVEN MUSTER UP AN ARGUMENT AGAINST THAt. [07:08] ID: =:P [07:08] ID: man don't even remember me and you want to fuck. [07:08] ID: buy me dinner first. [07:10] OA: wELL, SHIT, AREN'T YOU JUST FORWARD AS A GODDAMN TRUCk. :o) [07:10] ID: a man has needs. one of those needs is food. [07:10] OA: aND HERE I THOUGHT MAROONS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MEEK AND SHIt? [07:10] ID: preferably an all you can eat buffet. [07:11] ID: i don't know what maroons you talk to but i'm not one of them. [07:12] OA: oBVIOUSLY. MOST OF THE ONES I TALK TO AREN'T SELLING THEMSELVES FOR A GODDAMN BURGEr. [07:12] ID: i said all you can eat buffet, clear out those ears chucklefuck. [07:13] OA: bROTHER, YOUR FACE AIN'T PRETTY ENOUGH FOR A BUFFEt. ;o1 [07:14] ID: bitch my face could buy the whole fucking restaurant. [07:14] OA: tHAT A PART OF YOUR CONFIDENT STRIDING SHIt? [07:15] OA: lIES AND SLANDER? TSK, TSk. [07:15] ID: look at my words striding all over your attempts to put me down. it's okay, i know you only hate me cause you ain't me. [07:16] OA: ... wAIT, SHIT, WHICH ONE ARE YOU AGAIN, ANYWAY? BECAUSE I GOTTA ADMIT, USUALLY I DON'T PAL AROUND WITH SQUARESELLERs. [07:16] ID: i'm the one you usually have to turn your screen upside down to read my messages. [07:16] ID: and the only thing i sell is asskickings. [07:17] OA: oH, SHIT, YOU. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOUR QUIRK? YOU GET LAZy? >:o1 [07:18] ID: no, i broke it and if you think i'm nerd enough to know how to fix it, congrats. you're fucking wrong. [07:18] ID: come get your wrong prize. [07:18] ID: it's my knuckles. in your nose. [07:19] OA: wHAT, AM I SUPPOSED TO LEAN DOWN SO YOUR SHORTSTACK ASS CAN HIT Me? [07:19] OA: bECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY THAT'S HAPPENINg. :o) [07:19] OA: hOW THE FUCK DO YOU BREAK A QUIRk? [07:19] OA: jUST FLIP YOUR SCREEN OVER AND START TYPINg. [07:20] ID: ...wow you're pretty stupid aren't you. [07:20] ID: too many clowns hitting you in the head i'm sure. [07:20] ID: i mean. they don't need you smart i guess. just able to use your psionics. [07:21] ID: maybe beating the brains out of you is part of the training. [07:21] OA: tSK, TSK. YOU WERE ALMOST FUCKING ENTERTAINING FOR A MOMENT, AND THEN YOU HAD TO GO AND GET DROLL ON Me. [07:21] OA: tRY SOME NEW MATERIAL, FUCKEr. [07:21] OA: tHAT SHIT'S OVERPLAYEd. [07:22] ID: i mean, some trolls would wonder why it is that most trolls pick at it. almost like. gasp. it's fucking weird. [07:22] ID: but sure, i can go back to assuring you i can build myself a psionic ladder to scale mount fuckmouth and pop you one if you want. [07:24] OA: bIG WORDS FOR THE ONE TRYING TO SELL HIMSELF FOR A GODDAMN BUFFET, Oh... [07:24] OA: tEN MINUTES AGo. :o) [07:24] ID: i can pop you one and fuck you for a buffet. [07:24] ID: it's part of the fucking me package. [07:24] OA: aND SHUT THE FUCK UP. YOUR CHURCH JIBES ARE AS BORING AS YOUR FACe. [07:24] OA: ha. [07:24] OA: sORRY, I DON'T PAY FOR THAT SHIt. [07:25] ID: oh, so you don't get any action then. [07:25] OA: bUT HELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M ALL ABOUT THIS LOWBLOOD SOLIDARITY NOISE. YOU -- [07:25] OA: fUCK OFF, I GET PLENTY OF ACTIOn. [07:25] ID: uh-huh. [07:25] ID: your own hands don't count. [07:25] ID: neither does silicone. [07:25] ID: or cucumbers, whatever you use. [07:26] ID: i'm not judging. [07:26] OA: wHAT THE FUCk. [07:26] ID: (i totally am.) [07:26] OA: i'M JUDGIN- OH MY GOd. [07:26] ID: what? cucumbers don't do it for you? [07:26] ID: squashes maybe? [07:26] ID: dirty dirty~ [07:27] OA: yOU WANT TO SHIT-TALK ME ABOUT CLOWNS, AND HERE YOU ARE, WAXING ALL SHADES OF FLUSH OVER GODDAMN PRODUCE? TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT SORT OF VEGETABLES GOT HOLES ENOUGH TO FUCk? [07:28] OA: bROTHER, I AM FUCKING JUDGINg. [07:28] ID: i'm just saying that you fucking the produce section does not count as action. [07:28] ID: sorry not sorry. [07:28] OA: i DO NOT FUCK THE PRODUCE SECTION, OH MY GOd. [07:28] ID: uh-huh. [07:28] ID: the produce section fucks you then? [07:29] OA: ... [07:29] ID: you naughty little flora fucker. [07:30] OA: cONGRATULATIONS, YOU'VE GOT ME FUCKING THROWN. HOLY SHIt. [07:30] ID: sorry i let the meowbeast out of the bag on you. [07:31] OA: tHIS HAS GOT TO BE THE MOST FUCKED UP PITCH-FLIRTING I HAVE EVER FUCKING SEEN. IS THIS HOW YOU NON-CHURCH FUCKERS DO IT? WHATEVER HAPPENED TO JUST CRACKING SOME IDIOT'S SKULL AND PRESENTING IT ON A PLATTEr? [07:31] ID: ...so does that mean you want me to split a pumpkin open and present it to you? [07:31] OA: oR, SHIT, WRITING A GODDAMN POEM, IF YOU'RE FUCKING ORPHEo? [07:31] OA: oH MY GOd. [07:32] OA: i AM LIFTING MY HANDS OFF OF THIS FUCKING KEYBOARd. [07:32] OA: aND I AM GOING TO WASH THEm. [07:32] ID: roses are red, [07:32] ID: violets are blue, [07:32] ID: i'm bad at rhymes, [07:32] OA: aND THEN I'M GOING TO WASH MY GODDAMN PAN, BEFORE YOU RUIN A - No. [07:32] ID: you fuck produce. [07:32] OA: oH, FUCK YOu. [07:32] ID: do i need to wear a carrot costume? [07:33] OA: >:o( [07:33] ID: =:) [07:33] ID: gotta beet that meat. [07:33] ID: get it. [07:33] ID: beet. instead of beat. [07:38] OA: sEE, THIS IS THE POINT I'D KNOCK SOME SENSE INTO YOUR GODDAMN SKULL, AND SEE IF WE CAN'T FIND SOME GOOD FUCKING TASTE, TOO. BECAUSE LET ME ILLUMINATE YOU ON SOME SWEET TRUTHS, BROTHER: YOU AIN'T EVEN SURE IF I GOT A KISMESIS, AND YET HERE YOU ARE, THROWING YOURSELF AROUND LIKE SOME SORT OF GODDAMN FOOL FOR A HINT OF IRe. [07:38] OA: bUT THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE AFTER, AND NAh. [07:39] ID: i mean. if you have a kismesis they only have a shelf life of a few nights. [07:39] ID: unless you keep them in the fridge. [07:39] OA: ... wHAt. [07:39] ID: before they spoil. [07:39] ID: don't pail spoiled vegetables. [07:40] OA: hOLY SHIT, ARE YOU INTO FUCKING CADAVERS AND VEGETABLES? BECAUSE THAT'S SOME NASTY SHIt. [07:40] ID: don't project your fantasies on to me. [07:41] OA: hA. EMPRESS ABOVe. [07:42] ID: i mean. i'd prefer empress below. sealed in cement or something. [07:44] OA: yOU KNOW WHAT? IF PICTURING ME RUINING SOME PERFECTLY GOOD PRODUCE IS WHAT WORKS FOR YOU, WHO THE FUCK AM I TO PROTEST? I'LL CONSIDER IT MY GOOD GODDAMN DEED FOR THE SWEEP. GET SOME RIGHTEOUSNESS ALL UP IN MY PAN, EXPRESS ALL OF THE GOOD FEELS OUT OF MY VICTORYGLANDS, PAT MYSELF ON THE GODDAMN BACK FOR HELPING OUT SOME POOR, DEPRAVED RUSTBUCKET CULTIVATE SOME SWEET-ASS DREAMs. :o) [07:44] OA: aND FOR FUCK'S SAKe. [07:44] OA: yOU ARE THE EDGIEST LITTLE THING I HAVE EVER FUCKING SEEn. [07:44] ID: that's me. [07:45] OA: hA. AND WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK THAT''S GONNA GET YOu? :o) [07:45] OA: nOT IN MY COON. SORRy. [07:46] ID: i mean. probably about as far as being on the opposite end of the spectrum really. [07:46] OA: cAN'T MAKE ROOM AROUND THIS VERITABLE FUCKING GARDEN I'VE GOT CRAMMED IN HERe. [07:46] OA: wHAt. [07:46] ID: do you want me to be the meek little rustblood. [07:46] ID: would that help you get off better. [07:46] ID: p-please mister or missus scary yellowclown, be gentle~ uwu~ [07:47] OA: wELL, I JUST LEARNED ENTIRELY TOO GODDAMN MUCH ABOUT your TASTE IN VIDEO. HOLY SHIt. :o) [07:47] ID: videos cost money i don't have. [07:49] ID: sorry we can't all be yellowbloods who obviously have a whole video library to watch. [07:49] OA: dON'T HAVE MONEY FOR VIDEOs. [07:49] OA: dON'T HAVE MONEY FOR FOOd. [07:49] OA: wHAT THE FUCK, WHY ARE YOU SO GODDAMN DEPRESSINg? [07:50] ID: i'm sorry my poorness depresses you. [07:50] ID: let me help. [07:50] ID: i'm currently living in a tent. [07:50] ID: my dinner tonight will be a mostly flattened squirrel my lusus stomped on. [07:50] ID: i will probably stab my tongue 20 times on splinters of bone. [07:51] ID: but hey, my psionics will make it so even though i feel like i'm starving, i actually won't. [07:51] ID: =:) [07:51] OA: oH MY GOd. [07:51] OA: wHAT THE FUCk. [07:51] ID: you're welcome. [07:52] OA: oH, GO FUCK YOURSELf. [07:52] ID: nah, waste of calories. [07:52] ID: and water probably. [07:52] ID: genetics has a lot of water in it right. [07:53] OA: tHAT HAS TO BE THE MOST TRANSPARENT GODDAMN PLOY FOR SYMPATHY I HAVE EVER LAID MY FUCKING EYES ON, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT SHIT'S ABOUT WHAT YOU DESERVE, PROBABLY, ON ACCOUNT OF THE FACT YOU'RE A WORTHLESS GODDAMN HERETIC WITHOUT THE SENSE THE MOTHER GAVE EVEN THE MOST WRETCHED OF LIMEs - [07:53] OA: - bUT AIN'T A LUSUS ALIVE THAT DESERVES TO DEAL WITH THAT SHIt. [07:53] OA: wHAT THE FUCK'S YOUR NUMBER? I'LL WIRE YOU ENOUGH TO GET HIM A STABLE. SLEEP IN THE HAY, AIN'T LIKE YOU DON'T ALREADY GOT PARASITEs. [07:54] ID: hear that antelopedad, hay is on the dinner list for both of us. [07:54] OA: yOU CAN'T EAT THE FUCKING HAy. [07:54] OA: dON'T EAT THE HAy. [07:54] ID: watch me. [07:55] OA: ... nO, YOU KNOW WHAT? PLEASE EAT THE HAY. STUFF YOUR ENTIRE GOB FULL OF THAT SHIT, AND TAKE A FUCKING VIDEO OF IT, SO I CAN POST THAT SHIT ON GRUBTUBe. :o) [07:55] ID: gonna eat all the hay in the stable. [07:55] OA: cONSIDER IT YOUR PAYMENt. [07:56] ID: man you flipflop more than i do. [07:56] ID: not sending any video though. [07:57] ID: gotta pay extra for this beauty. [07:58] OA: fLIPFLOP? PLEASe. [07:58] ID: or you could just send a few extra bucks and the location of the nearest cheap eatery. [07:59] OA: i HAVE NEVER CHANGED MY MIND IN MY WHOLE GODDAMN LIFe. [07:59] ID: you just did like. a minute ago. [07:59] OA: nAh. [07:59] OA: aND HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO SEND YOU A LOCATION WHEN I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE FUCK YOU'RE At? [07:59] OA: yOU'VE GOT A DEVICE. LOOK UP YOUR OWN FUCKING LOCATION, LAZY ASs. [08:00] ID: i don't like folks knowing where i'm at okay. =:I [08:01] OA: fINE. GET YOUR ASS DOWN TO PORT MINA, AND GO GET A SANDWICH AT THE EATERy. :o) [08:01] OA: tHAT'S THE CLOSEST TO me, FUCKEr. [08:02] OA: hAVE FUN IN THE HELLDESERt. [08:02] ID: i'm out of the helldesert actually, thanks. [08:02] ID: also don't go in to the helldesert. a lot less treasure than you'd think there'd be. [08:02] ID: but port mina, i can do that. [08:04] OA: tHAT'S BECAUSE THE TREASURE'S ALL ON THE ROAMING DEAD, FUCKEr. [08:04] OA: wHICH OUGHT TO SUIT YOU JUST FINe. [08:04] ID: i got the roaming part down at least. [08:04] OA: gOT FAUNA, GOT DEAD FOLKS THAT'LL HIT YOU - THAT'S HALF YOUR PAIL LIST RIGHT THERe. :o) [08:04] ID: so if i pail fauna and dead folks. and you claim i'm hitting on you. [08:05] ID: what does that make you. [08:05] OA: wELL, SHIt. [08:06] OA: yOU'VE UNCOVERED MY PLOY. I'M A FUCKING WALKER, AND GETTING YOU FODDER IS PART OF MY SICK PLAN TO FATTEN YOU UP, AND.. WHAT, EAT YOu? [08:06] OA: nAH, NEVER MIND, THAT'S FUCKING GROSs. [08:07] ID: i mean, if it makes you feel better that ploy wouldn't work anyways. [08:08] OA: gOOD TO SEE YOU'VE GOT SOME SENSe. :o) [08:08] ID: wish i could say the same for you. =:) [08:10] OA: wEAK, BROTHER, WEAK. IS THIS WHAT STARVATION DOES TO A MOTHERFUCKER? SETS THEM TO BEGGING, AND TAKES THE EDGE FROM THEIR WORDS? BECAUSE I AM PRETTY FUCKING CERTAIN YOU WERE MORE ENTERTAINING THE LAST ROUND WE HAd. ;o( [08:10] OA: oH WELL. MY BAD FOOR EXPECTING MORE FROM A LITTLE OL' RUSt. :) [08:10] OA: oH, GODDAMNIt. [08:10] OA: :o) [08:10] ID: hahahah. [08:10] ID: slipping there. [08:11] ID: and first oyu whine at me not to make fun of your chucklefuckedness, then you whine because i'm not as 'entertaining'. [08:12] OA: wHAT CAN I SAY, I'M CAPRICIOUs. [08:12] ID: you're flipfloppy you mean. [08:12] ID: never change your mind my ass. [08:14] ID: i mean, what. you want me to threaten you? i can come up there and carve you to pieces. cut all that empire-certified hardware out of you and leave a nice message behind to the clowns that are pulling your strings. [08:14] ID: that better? [08:15] OA: oH, BROTHER, BROTHEr. [08:16] OA: nAH, YOU WENT AND SPOILED IT WHEN YOU GOT ALL SLOE-EYED AND SAD, I'M SORRY TO FUCKING SAY. YOU CAN THREATEN AND POSTURE ALL YOU LIKE, AND ALL I'M SEEING IS SOME STICK I CAN COUNT THE RIBS OFF Of. [08:16] OA: aND LET ME TELL YOU: THAT'S JUST NOT VERY INTIMIDATINg. [08:16] OA: gO EAT A SANDWICH, AND WE'LL SEE ABOUT THE ENTERTAINMENt. :o) [08:18] ID: even half starved i can kick your ass. =:I [08:20] OA: nOPe. [08:20] ID: definitely. =:| [08:20] OA: pOST PICTURES, BROTHER, BECAUSE LET ME TELL YOU NOw: [08:20] OA: tHERE IS NOT A SINGLE DOUBT IN MY HEAD I COULD LIFT YOUR SCRAWNY ASS OVER IT WITH ONE HANd. [08:21] OA: sORRy. :o) [08:21] ID: go ahead and lift me, makes it easier to slice your head right off your shoulders. =:| [08:22] OA: hOT. BUT PASs. [08:24] -- invertedDissident [ID]  has sent picture fuckyouimnotscrawny.png -- [08:25] OA: ha. [08:26] OA: wHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH YOUR HORNs? [08:26] ID: psionics bitch. =:I [08:26] ID: what, you're not so powerful your psionics make shit float all the time? [08:26] ID: pathetic. [08:31] OA: yEAH, THAT'S WHAT WE CALL IT. AND NOT THAT I'VE GOT SOME BASIC FUCKING CONTROL OVER MY PSI, SO I AIN'T FILLED WITH STATIc. [08:31] OA: pATHETIc. :o) [08:31] OA: yOU'RE STILL SCRAWNY AS FUCk. [08:31] ID: if i didn't have control i'd murder everything i touched. which is sounding pretty tempting right now. =:) [08:31] OA: sKINNY FAT IS NOT WHAT A FUCKING MUSCLE MAKES. SORRY TO BE THE BEARER OF SOME WICKED BAD NEWs. ;o( [08:32] ID: sorry i don't get tablescraps from the clowns like some trolls do. [08:32] OA: sCRAPS? PLEASE. I EAT AT THE TABLe. :o) [08:33] ID: also fuck off and send a picture back if you're so great. [08:33] ID: sure you do. it's cute they let you think you're important. [08:33] OA: wHAT, SO YOU CAN DIE OF FUCKING ENVY? START HAVING TO DELEGATE ALL THAT ENERGY YOU'RE WASTING ON SPITE AND IRE TOWARDS GROWING OUT THAT INCH YOU'RE CALLING A BRAId? [08:33] OA: tHAT WOULD BE unkind, AND HERE I AM, TRYING TO MAKE A GOOD FUCKING IMPRESSIOn. [08:34] ID: i'll give your face a good impression with my fist. [08:34] OA: jUST USE YOUR HORNS, MOTHERFUCKER, THEY'LL HAVE AN EASIER TIME REACHINg. ;o) [08:34] OA: fINE. SINCE YOU FUCKING INSISt. [08:35] -- obstructedAntiquity [OA]  has attached the file "selfie84.png" to the chat! -- [08:35] ID: first off. selfie 84. [08:35] ID: fucking narcissistic fuck aren't you. [08:36] ID: second off, the fuck are you even wearing. [08:36] OA: bROTHER, IT WOULD BE A GODDAMN SIN TO HIDE THIS FACE FROM THE PUBLIc. [08:36] OA: aND IT'S CLOTHEs. [08:36] OA: i KNOW YOU'RE BROKE, BUT TELL ME THE CONCEPT AIN'T NEw. :o) [08:36] ID: no one wants to see that stomach. did your clothes shrink in the wash. [08:37] ID: i hope someone strangles you with that braid. [08:37] OA: dON'T WORRy. [08:37] OA: yOU CAN GET ABS, TOO, IF YOU LEARN TO FUCKING LIFt. :o) [08:38] ID: bitch i'm a rustblood, putting abs on me is like putting windows on a submarine. [08:39] ID: can you move your ears on purpose. [08:42] OA: wORTH IT FOR THE VIEw? [08:42] OA: aND OF COURSE I CAN. WHAT, YOU CAN't? [08:42] OA: i KNOW THEY'RE STUMPY AS FUCk. [08:43] ID: no, someone will open it and then everyone drowns. [08:43] OA: ... wAIT, SHIt. [08:43] OA: dO YOU HAVE EARs? [08:43] ID: ... [08:43] OA: ... [08:43] ID: who the fuck doesn't have ears. [08:43] ID: do you know a lot of trolls without ears. [08:44] OA: sURE, IF THEY'RE MOUTHy. :o) [08:45] ID: if that was the case you'd have lost the dumbo ears sweeps ago. =:) [08:46] ID: looking at your stomach in this picture is making me want to hurl. ugh. [08:50] OA: hAHAHa. [08:50] OA: hERE, LET ME FUCKING HELp. [08:50] ID: no thanks. [08:51] -- obstructedAntiquity [OA]  has attached the file "EYESUPHERE.png" to this chat! -- [08:51] ID: did you change the name so i didn't know this was selfie number 233. [08:51] OA: dUh. [08:52] OA: wHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR ID, ANYWAY? OR ARE YOU PLANNING ON ME PRE-PAYING YOU A GODDAMN MEAL? BECAUSE, JUST SO YOU KNOW: TAYLOR'S AIN'T GOT HAy. [08:52] OA: aND YOU DON'T FEED LUSII FUCKING COFFEe. [08:52] ID: my lusus has eaten worse i'm sure. [08:54] OA: nAH. YOU MAY BE SOME SULKY RUSTBUCKET, BUT WHAT THE FUCK WRONG HAS YOUR LUSUS EVER DONE, BUT RAISE YOUR WORTHLESS ASs? [08:54] -- invertedDissident [ID]  has attached the file "deleteafteropeningyoushit.txt" to this chat! -- [08:54] OA: dESERVES MORE THAN SQUASHED FLAT RODENTS, AND - WHAT, YOU GONNA deck ME IF I DON't? :o) [08:55] ID: i'm gonna deck you regardless. =:| [08:56] ID: so unless you're going to keep paying me for the honors of speaking with me, purge my information. [08:56] OA: yOU OUGHT TO BE PAYING ME, MOTHERFUCKEr. [08:57] ID: with all the money you know i don't have? [08:57] OA: tHERE. SIXTY CAEGARS. KNOW THAT'S MUCH COIN THAN YOU'VE SEEN IN YOUR LIFE, BUT TRY NOT TO SPEND IT ALL AT ONCe. :o) [08:57] OA: aRE YOU SAYING YOU CAN'T MAKE MONEY? TSK, TSk. [08:57] ID: i make money by beating trolls up. want to be my next business? =:| [08:57] OA: lEAST THE MIRTHFUL TEACH OUR OWN HOW TO EARN A LIVINg. :o) [08:58] ID: fuck that. i don't work for anyone but myself. [08:59] OA: aND PASS. BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, AND LEMME JUST SAY: BEING IMPRESSIVE IN THE RING DOESN'T MEAN SHIt. ;o( [09:00] OA: yOU DON'T WORK FOR YOURSELF, OR YOU'D HAVE CASh. [09:00] OA: oBVIOUS FUCKING LEe. [09:00] ID: i work pro bono for myself. [09:00] ID: what do you do for a living then, huh? [09:02] OA: wHY DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT THE HELL YOU DO, FIRSt. [09:02] ID: i told you i make money beating trolls up. [09:02] ID: what more do you want from me. [09:04] OA: hUh. [09:04] OA: dIDN'T REALISE YOU WERE SERIOUs. [09:04] ID: surprise. [09:04] OA: wELL, FUCK, A TRUTH FOR A TRUTh. [09:04] OA: i PLAY THE HARp. [09:04] ID: ...what. [09:05] ID: how do you make sixty caegars playing the harp. [09:05] OA: hahahahaha. [09:05] ID: are you naked? [09:05] OA: tHEY FUCKING WISh. [09:05] OA: nAH, YOU GOTTA PAY EXTRA FOR THAT. WAY EXTRa. ;o) [09:06] ID: but i'm not seeing that you /won't/ play the harp naked for a living. [09:06] OA: wHAT, YOU WOULDN'T? TALK ABOUT A GODDAMN EXPERIENCe. [09:06] OA: aND SIXTY CAEGARS IS WHAT PEOPLE PAY FOR ME TO EVEN SHOW UP, BROTHEr. :o) [09:07] ID: i mean i don't actually sell my body so. [09:07] ID: i think i'll stick to beating up trolls. [09:08] ID: lets me top up my psionic tank in a way that playing the harp wouldn't do for me. [09:08] OA: wHY DOES EVERYTHING GO BACK TO HOOKING WITH YOU? TSK, TSK. STARTING TO THINK YOU'RE HALF WAY SERIOUs. [09:09] ID: well i mean you're the one saying it'd be an experience to get paid to play naked. [09:21] OA: wHAT'S THAT GOT TO DO WITH SELLING YOUR BOd? [09:21] OA: wAIT, FUCK IT, DON'T ANSWER. I GOTTA GET THIS CALl. [09:22] OA: yOU GOT YOUR CASH. GO GET YOUR LUSUS A FUCKING ROOm. :o)

[09:22] -- obstructedAntiquity [OA] ceased pestering invertedDissident [ID] at 21:22 --

[09:23] -- invertedDissident [ID] began pestering obstructedAntiquity [OA] at 21:23 --

[09:23] ID: =:I i'm not saying thanks. bite me, gonna eat a sandwich now.

[09:23] -- invertedDissident [ID] ceased pestering obstructedAntiquity [OA] at 21:23 --

[concussed-to-pieces]

The Kindness; Part Two

Fandom: Fallout (3)

Pairing: Female Lone Wanderer/Charon

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: Two of twelve!

They left at dawn the next morning.

Charon hadn't done much sleeping, feeling excitement race through him most of the night. He had taken apart his shotgun, cleaned, and reassembled it at least six times before Greta snapped at him to cut it out. Not even that could dampen his spirits though. He laid awake for hours, hoping against hope that he might have finally gotten lucky, and that this employer wouldn't see him as nothing but a weapon.

Spoon had awoken without fail, and they were ready to go in ten minutes, the young man whispering a promise that they'd eat breakfast once they got through the metros.

Charon had to keep a shit-eating grin off his face as they trekked out through the lobby and into the courtyard. Willow saw the pair and waved from her post. Spoon tossed her a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of good whiskey as “another thank you for saving my ass!” Willow caught the items and saluted as the man and ghoul ducked into the metros, successfully avoiding the super mutants that camped just beyond.

  Going through the metro was relatively easy. Only a few feral ghouls arose, snapping, and Charon made quick work of them. Spoon did get lost, admitting his inability to tell directions underground. Luckily they soon stumbled across the exit and emerged unscathed. Once they were back in the harsh sunlight, Spoon grinned up at Charon, tilting his hat back. “What say you to some breakfast, big guy?”

  Charon frowned, looking around. “Permission to speak freely?”

  Spoon's grin wavered. “Permission? Shit man, you're not a slave. I'm not going to demand you to be silent now that we're not around your friends. Granted! For uh, forever.”

  “I would advise preparing food behind that hill. So we are not out in the open.” Charon pointed towards the hill in question, his face unreadable. Spoon agreed, grin firmly back in place as he jogged to the hill and promptly tumbled over the other side, not expecting the loose shale that coated the top. Charon rolled his eyes. “You alright kid?” He called, meandering over the top of the hill.

  “Never better! Now, how about you dig me out? Kinda' stuck here.”

  ...

  They made it to Megaton around three o' clock in the afternoon. Spoon explained that Megaton was his sort-of home base. The sheriff of the town had given him a house when he deactivated the bomb in the center of the complex (Spoon said it so casually Charon had to ask him to repeat himself because really, a fucking bomb in the middle of the town?!), and this was where he always came when he needed a little time off.

  “Only for a few days, so I can heal.” Spoon murmured, his voice thick with exhaustion, almost like he was drunk. “And then I'll give you that adventure I promised, alright?”

  Charon nodded absently, taking in the sights of the odd little town. Residents looked at him with fear or barely-concealed disgust. He heard several mutters of 'fucking shuffler' as he strode along behind Spoon. Charon growled low in his throat and was surprised to see Spoon flip off the general vicinity of where the mutters came from.

  “He's a human being, just like all of you. It ain't his fault he's got balls made out of lead and he survived the radiation.” Spoon grunted. “Eat shit.” Charon resisted the urge to grin in surprise, maintaining a bored expression as they climbed the sheer steps to Spoon's abode. Spoon unlocked the door and hollered, “Wadsworth! I have a guest, don't shoot!”

  “Certainly madam! May I suggest you get medical attention as soon as possible? Scans indicate you are injured.” Said the armed-to-the-proverbial-teeth robot, hovering in what Charon assumed was the living room-kitchen.

  Spoon waved it off, telling Charon to follow him upstairs. “You can have the spare room, Charon. This house is too big for me anyway.”

  “Why'd the robot say 'madam'?” Charon asked, confused.

  Spoon paused, hand pointing to where Charon assumed the spare room was. “His wiring is a little...screwy,” The smaller man said slowly. “He was Moira's before he was mine, and she's as loony as they come. He won't admit it though! No matter what I do, the ol' bucket of bolts won't let me fix him. He's more stubborn than a thirsty Bramin an' half as useful.” Spoon finished with a grin.

  Charon caught his own smile before it could form yet again as he listened to the robot sputter indignantly about how my protocol is flawless and it's not my fault that Moira woman played with my innards, madam!

  Spoon hushed the robot. “It's okay Wads. You're still the best robot ever. I wouldn't trade you for all Moriarty's caps.” Then, he looked up at Charon. “You tired?”

  Charon shook his head.

  Spoon's grin was something the ghoul was going to have to get used to. The scavenger's teeth were crooked, and one of them was chipped. But the way that it lit up his whole face seemed to compensate for it. “Let's head down to Moriarty's. There's someone who I think wants to see us.”

  Charon raised an eyebrow. Us?

  ...

  Gob looked up from wiping out one of the shot glasses at the sound of the door opening. “Spoon!” The cry was gleeful as he ran around the bar and caught his friend in a massive bear-hug. Spoon grunted, patting Gob on the back as best as he could.

  “Heya' Gob, how are you? Where's Nova?” He choked out. Gob released Spoon as (presumably) Nova sauntered up beside him.

  “Hi handsome. How was the trip?” The woman purred, her hand sliding over Gob's arm in a friendly gesture.

  Spoon smiled. “I missed the hell out of you guys! And look, I brought a friend back with me.” He said, gesturing upwards towards Charon.

  Gob hadn't even noticed the ghoul filling the doorway, so intent was he on Spoon. Charon watched bemusedly while whatever color that had been left in Gob's face rapidly drained out. The smaller ghoul took a wary step back. “Ch-Charon.” Gob gulped. Charon inclined his head. “Uh, h-how's Ahzrukhal?”

  “Dead.” Charon replied shortly. Gob's mouth formed an 'o' as he put two and two together, and he cautiously extended a hand. Charon shook it after a moment.

  “Spoon'll take good care of you Charon. He ain't...he ain't like Ahzrukhal, or most smoothskins.” Gob whispered. “He's been real good to me. He's got Moriarty scared to hit me or Nova when he's around.” Charon abruptly noticed the discolored patches on Gob's face that had nothing to do with radiation, and a snarl fought in his throat. Gob, seeing the larger ghoul's look turn dark, hastily explained, “If he hits me, he doesn't hit Nova. And I can take a beating better than her. She loses caps if she's bruised up. Spoon wanted to buy me from Moriarty, but then that would leave Nova alone. I can't do that. Not to her.” The ghoul mumbled, seeming miserable.

  Charon looked over to where Spoon was talking to Nova, the scavenger animatedly appearing to re-enact some of the journey to Underworld. Nova was smiling at the young man, her eyes sad as she listened to the wild tale he was telling. Charon snorted, looking back at Gob. “You need to get her out of here.” Charon growled. “You need to grow a fucking backbone, some balls, or both, and get her out of here. Being trapped in a bar for eternity is the last fucking thing you want. Trust me.”

  And with that, Charon went to go lean against the wall beside Spoon, his eyes scanning the bar for potential threats. He missed the look of resolve that skittered across Gob's face for a moment before the ghoul sighed and slunk back behind the bar.

  “Well, if it ain't the sanctified Wasteland rat himself!” A thick Irish brogue interrupted Spoon's excited story and the scavenger's face hardened as he turned towards the owner of the voice.

  “Moriarty.” Spoon acknowledged him quietly.

  “Talkin' to the whore's gonna' cost you, boy.” Moriarty said, a smirk ruining his features thoroughly.

  Spoon scoffed, “Talking to you is what's costing me, you old bastard.” He reached a hand into his coat.

  Moriarty's eyes narrowed, and the man's hand went to the gun at his side. “No tricks now, rat. Otherwise I'll have to sic Jericho on you again.”

  Charon snarled at him, pleased when the bar owner jerked at the sound. Spoon was unconcerned, however, having merely been grabbing a few caps out of his pocket to flick at Moriarty's face. “You know as well as I do that your old raider buddy scares me about as much as a box of Sugar Bombs, Morty. Although I am liking the new setup you've got here, what with me paying to talk to the lady.” Spoon grinned in a rather nasty manner, showing all of his teeth. “I did always say I got pleasure out of hearing her voice.”

  Moriarty was a tad flustered at that, but Charon noticed he wasn't above picking up the caps before he gritted out, “You have five minutes. Then, you and yer shuffler had best get the hell out of my bar,” and stormed off.

  The tall ghoul watched as Moriarty paused next to a grungy-looking man for a few moments, and then the Irishman snapped at Gob for being a 'lazy no-good shiftless rotface'. Charon's blood boiled at that. He understood that the insult had been meant for him. Good-for-nothing smoothskin, he grumbled inwardly, watching as Gob's face fell and the ghoul began to wipe down the bar counter.

  “Thanks sweetheart. You know you didn't have to do that though, right?” Nova murmured, twining her fingers in Spoon's and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

  “No worries.” Spoon replied, flushing a little bit at the kiss. “Once Moriarty hits the hay, tell Gob that Carol loves him very much, and is glad to hear that he's safe.” He jerked his head towards the door. “I think me and Charon should probably head to The Brass Lantern for the rest of our evening. If shit happens though, just stick your head out the door and holler. I know you can.” He winked.

  Nova laughed at that. “Sugar, you're the only one I'll ever holler for. When will you take me up on my offer?”

  “I can't. It isn't fair to Gob.” Spoon protested as Nova's hands began to wander. “Hey, no c'mon, listen to me. It isn't right.” Spoon caught both of Nova's wrists, pressing a kiss to the back of her knuckles. “He's been here so long, and he takes a lot of Moriarty's shit so you don't have to. I know you want to bang the shit out of him. Y'all are gonna' have to get creative. After all, I can't solve all your problems.” He chuckled.

  Nova nodded, looking almost embarrassed. “Sorry sweetheart, I got a little carried away. Moriarty's been refusing me to everyone but Jericho and it's startin' to grate on my nerves.”

  Charon was surprised at the growl that Spoon let escape, the scavenger gritting out, “I hate that prick. Was he rough with you?”

  “Nowhere near rough enough sugar.” Nova quipped, stepping away lightly. Spoon grumbled something to himself as she returned to her corner, turning on his heel and stomping to the door.

  “C'mon Charon, we're outta' this joint. It sucks that my only friends work in this radroach-infested shit hole.” He said angrily, waiting until Charon was through the door to slam it shut. “That skeevy motherfucker.” Spoon seethed, jamming his hands into his pockets as he walked.

  “You care too much, Spoon.” Charon observed, unprepared for how quickly Spoon turned around.

  “I know, but shit like that pisses me right the fuck off. It pissed me off with you, it pisses me off with them. At least you I could help. Sort of. A little bit. Am I helping?” Spoon's anger seemed to deflate, the question hanging in the air between them. Charon wasn't sure if it was rhetorical. “Or...or am I just making it worse for you when someone like Moriarty or Ahzrukhal gets hold of your contract again? Am I making their lives a royal fucking mess by pissing Moriarty off? I don't know. But...But I can't just sit on my hands while you lurk in a goddamn corner day in and day out, and I can't stand people like fucking Moriarty having control over anyone.” Spoon growled.

  Charon held up his hands in a gesture of surrender. “You have your reasons.” Was all he said while Spoon jerked open the door of The Brass Lantern.

  ...

  “Welcome home madam! I take it your evening went well?”

  “Fuckin' peachy, you whirring-servo scrap pile.” Spoon said cheerily, hanging his long duster coat on a peg by the door. “I'm expectin' a visit from Jericho though, so you should probably barricade yourself in my room, Wads.”

  “Ugh, that revolting man. I assure you, if I had a stomach, I would vomit.” The robot hurriedly floated up the stairs to Spoon's room, and the shifting of furniture was heard.

  Spoon winked at Charon, taking off his bandanna and settling it next to the duster. “He's a good butler, but a ferocious coward. Take a seat. This could be a long night.”

  Charon lowered himself into a sufficiently battered-looking armchair, holding his shotgun across his knees. “You expect an attack?” The ghoul queried.

  Spoon nodded, face devoid of mirth as he sat in a chair opposite Charon. “You'd think he's stop bein' so predictable. But he's never been bright.” He murmured, sighting down the barrel of his hunting rifle and 'tsk'ing quietly. “Hopefully if I douse all the lights, he'll think I've headed to bed early and he'll bust in here.”

  “You cannot make the first move?” Charon asked incredulously.

  Spoon shook his head. “Nah. They're a-okay with self defense, but as soon as you start instigating it's your own problem.”

  Charon sighed, placing his shotgun on the floor and standing. He flexed his arms out in a wide, languid stretch, rotated his neck, and then cracked his knuckles. “Alright.”

Part Three