#holy fuck he really did that with his whole chest and both titties.

[lightshinesoutofdarkness]

No matter how they try to re-write this story, remember what you saw. Remember that Elon Musk fully did a Nazi salute on live television. Save videos and photos. Do not lose the narrative. Musk has shown us who he is. Believe him.

[shiggyscumrag]

Yall I do be curvy slim thicc tho...idk if I like it or not...yeah that's it.

EXCEPT ITS NOT CAUSE ITS DRABBLE TIME BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYY-

——————————————————————

Bakugou and Kiri owning a tatoo and peircing shop AHHHHHH-

Getting your first tatoo done by Bakugou right after getting your septum pierced by Kirishima....GRRRRRR GOING FERAL-

Bakugou just kinda watching as you get pierced, then taking you back to his area to lay you down to start on the stencil. In this scenario you're gonna get a rib tatoo...cause i really want a rib tatoo, sue me :) So he asks why you're getting your first tatoo on your ribs and says how stupid you must be. You of course just play along, and you guys end up talking throughout the whole session. While Kirishima has nothing to do he hears laughing so he just kinda stands off to the side to watch and listen.

You're laying on your side and so kiri just grabs a stool and pulls it up to the side of the table and works his way smoothly might I add into the conversation. You all are laughing and talking getting to know eachother, and Kiri that sly dog makes a little flirty comment to you, and you of course pick up on it and flirt back.

But here's the thing, uh Kiri and Bakugou are already dating. BUT they are looking for a third fuck buddy, and maybe possible partner if you're catching my drift here.

So after a bunch of flirting between the three of you, your tatoo was finally done. It turned out wonderfully of course. So you go to stand up and your titty just slips out and your like "oh shit-"

They both get a peak because duh it's right there who ain't gonna see it, but turn away for your privacy like good gentlemen. After you get yourself situated They asked you're all good and how you like the tatoo. You say you're fine, clearly flustered, and say how much you love it.

So now bakugou has to wrap you up so that it doesn't get infected. So you lay back on the table to get all wrapped up AND KIRI MAKES THE FIRST MOVE. He slides his hand up from your knee all the way up your thigh to rest in your waist. And you're just frozen like 'holy shit, did that really just happen' a little puddle starting to form between your legs. Then Kiri just goes full throtel and pulls out all the stops.

And eventually you're sprawled out on the table getting faced fucked by Bakugou and and getting stuffed by Kiri<3 cum all over you, some dried others still fresh while they're about to fuck so many more in and all over you. Hickies everywhere, bite marks all over your chest, thighs, hips, shoulders, and neck. Them kissing your tears away as your fucked into next week.

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

best laid plans, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: It’s the middle of the night. You’re asleep next to your model boyfriend, Jeon Jungkook, who is jacking off while touching your tits. Wait. Hold on a second. What? (He is still your model boyfriend though, even after all that.)

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; established relationship; playful banter and shitty jokes; actually low-key crack and fluff; smut (fem reader, m-masturbation, handjob (while sucking on JK’s balls, lucky guy), tiny bit of nipple play and pussy slapping, edging, cowgirl, penetrative sex); non-idol!BTS; the parenthesis are the reader’s inner thoughts and i did make a Dynamite lyric reference with JK’s dick and you can’t stop me

yes, the title is a pun, channeling my inner seokjinnie it’s what you think it is and it’s also not

–

Your dreams were always vivid and intense.��

Was it normal to have movie-level, hyperdetailed, sometimes not even involving you or anyone you knew (at least consciously), insane storyline dreams on a constant basis (without medication causing them)? You know, maybe not. You should get that checked out. But not today, because this is not the story about that (you really should get that checked out).

This is the story about you dreaming about your boyfriend jacking off next to asleep you and then realizing it was not a dream. 

At first you were like, man, that sure sounds like Jeon Jungkook breathing hard. Was he working out? Why are you having dreams about Jungkook working out? That's literally the most pointless, mundane dream you could ever have. Also, you weren't seeing anything, just blackness. What was the damn point of this dream you couldn't even look at him?

(To be honest, that’s very rude of you, brain.)

Jungkook always asked you to work out at home with him but, one, he was annoying as fuck to work out with because all he did was stare at you ("oh yeah, my bad for thinking you're sexy, holy shit, what a crime to think my girlfriend and future wife is hot!"); two, you literally had zero motivation to work out (not lazy, just, you know, didn't give a shit and Jungkook called that your great flaw of being his perfect girlfriend – but he loved all your soft bits so he was sending you mixed messages, tsk tsk); and finally, three, it always led up to fucking, so why go through all that trouble hyping yourself up in your leggings and sports bra, only to spend five minutes in them and forty-five doing a whole different kind of workout that didn't require clothes?

Exactly. 

Just skip that shit and get to the naked part. 

Oh, right, back to the whole deep-breathing Jungkook and you seeing darkness thing. 

Sometimes you had dreams with only sound and very little visual. It was disorienting, giving you the feeling of being trapped in a maze with no way out (dream analysts would be all over that shit) and once the images returned, you were usually naked (psychologists would have a field day with that). But this time, you were unmoving. Listening to tense inhale, drawn-out exhale, over and over, and you only recognized it as Jungkook because he did that thing where he sucked on his teeth a little, making that almost inaudible hiss noise. 

You felt heavy, tired, sluggish, as if you were dragging yourself through mud, in between the brink of conscious and subconscious, in that brief moment where you could control the dream but not your body, that little pocket of utopia. You searched for Jungkook in the darkness, curious to find him, and you couldn't, but he seemed to be beside you, to your right, where he usually was when you slept. Next to you, sometimes snoring so you'd have to smack him in the chest and he'd snort and stop (for a hot second, then you'd roll him to his side so at least he wouldn't be snoring in your ear). His pectoral muscles were bigger lately (you hated working out but you sure as hell didn't hate Jungkook working out) and the slapping sound was pretty satisfying now, palm to hard muscle. 

Kind of like the sound right now. 

Wait. 

You weren't slapping Jungkook's pecs.

You furrowed your brows. Huh? Why were you hearing that soft smacking sound over and over, Jungkook's low hiss and then your name in a deep hazy whisper and why was your front cold? You usually slept with only panties, no bra, but you weren't usually cold up top – that's what the linen duvet was for (you paid way too much for that, but you saw it on Instagram and, hey, it's your money, go off) and, to be honest, you used to be a cute pajamas person but, ever since you started living with Jungkook, he wanted you to wear as much as he did when he slept (read: literally only his boxer briefs). Lots of begging (and him being on his knees for you) later, and now it was your habit to strip before sleeping.

Anyway, back to being cold. 

You scrunched up your face and listened to the labored breathing in your right, a hand drifting on your stomach, tracing your bellybutton, moving up, light, delicate touches, the sound of skin on skin. A gentle fingertip brushed your nipple. 

You cracked your eyes open.

There was a tiny bit of light from your computer, the RGB keyboard casting a faint rainbow. You shifted your eyes to your right.

Jungkook's left arm was in an awkward position, softly caressing your nipple as he violently pumped his dick. 

On the bed. 

Underwear gone.

On the floor? Probably. 

He looked pretty damn hard. (Nice.) 

Your eyes floated to his face and his eyes were closed, mouth open, trying not to make any noise, gasping your name. Shapely jaw, soft cheeks, dark lashes, ash blond hair framing his handsome features, so beautiful it was unreal. His head turned towards you and his dark brown eyes slowly opened, purring your name lovingly. 

"Yeah, Jungkook?"

You saw the single blissful second it took for Jungkook's brain to catch up. 

Then he choked.

On air and his dick by squeezing it far too hard in complete and utter shock. 

"HOLY FUCK!"

He yanked his hand back, off your chest (feels bad man) and released his cock, causing it to bounce a little in the air (kind of sexy, not gonna lie), both of them shooting up to cover his rapidly reddening cheeks, one tattooed, one not, his inked right arm tense and his hand glistening with points of pre-cum.

You blinked innocently at him. 

"Oh, shit, fuck, I'm so sorry, um, l–listen," he sputtered, dick still sticking straight up, completely oblivious to Jungkook's embarrassment (ignorance is bliss). "I... I have a good reason, I s-swear."

You rolled onto your side and squished your tits together. Jungkook's brain seemed to implode a little, staring at your squashed breasts and hard nipples like it was the first time (even though you knew he literally sees them at least once a day).

"You're horny?" 

Your voice cracked a little from sleep and you coughed to clear your throat (not sexy, but such is life). 

Jungkook's shaking pupils were too busy staring at your titties. "Y-Yeah, I just woke up randomly horny as fuck, but I know how much you hate having your sleep disturbed so I was just going to edge myself a little... well, maybe finish…"

"You masturbating while touching my tits is not going to disturb me?"

"I... I've done it before..."

???????

???????

"Uh..."

"I don't touch you very much!" Jungkook blurted, grabbing your hands. "P-Please don't be mad! I only touch you a little and always very carefully! I never try to take advantage, I'm just horny, please, please, please don't be mad!"

He grabbed you by the shoulders and hugged you tightly. You grimaced, not because of the hug (Jungkook’s hugs were top tier), but because his hard dick jammed right into your thigh and smeared a giant line of pre-cum onto your skin (a little cold and not nearly as sexy as internet smut stories make it out to be, but maybe that was because you literally woke up to Jungkook jacking off without giving you so much as an invitation, rude). You gasped and retreated a little, but that made Jungkook try to grab you tighter and his cock bent upwards and jabbed you in the lower belly. 

Still leaking everywhere, by the way. 

"Oh shit–"

"Look here Excalibur, I'm not the stone waiting for the king," you winced, swiping your hand across your skin and wiping it on the side of his ass (hey, it's free real estate). Jungkook yelped, letting go of you. 

"Hey!"

"If you're horny, let's fuck, not joust. I don't have the proper equipment for that and I'm not an undercover Lancelot, as dope as that would be."

"I should be turned off by now," Jungkook muttered under his breath (probably cursing your poorly timed King Arthur jokes – you did have a tendency to wear your mind on your sleeve). "But I'm not because, fuck, look at this body..."

His hands were already running all over your skin and, if there was one thing Jungkook had an extra zest for, it was fucking you – all the time, twenty-four seven, rest in peace responsibilities if you ever decided to become a nudist, but thankfully you had self-control (not when it came to terrible jokes at inappropriate times though, that was your vice). However, sleepy you had less self-control and let him do whatever he wanted, running his fingers all over your chest, making you shiver and slide closer to him, rubbing your thigh against his length and he sucked in a breath, whispering your name hotly against your cheek.

"S-Stop, I'm going to get horny..."

"You're already horny," you hummed into his chin, running your fingers through his blond hair, closing your eyes again, listening to his soft moan against your cheek (he always sounded so good, so fucking sexy, it was sinful), your left hand sliding down between you both. his palms pressed into your breasts, squeezing them roughly as you cupped your hand around his length and balls (Jungkook was really warm and your hands were kind of cold, this turned out to be a win-win situation, sweet). You wound your fingers around his length with two fingers hooked around his balls, bouncing them lightly as you rubbed his velvety skin, sighing against his neck.

"Pog."

"Do not Twitch chat talk to my dick," Jungkook muttered. "Also, what kind of weak-ass handjob is this, are you just warming your cold-as-fuck fingers–" (well, shit) "–oh, fuck!"

You gripped his cock with your left hand and buried your fingers in his hair, tongue between your lips as you roughly stroked his length, making Jungkook squirm and gasp above you, jerking back. You kept your hold on him, tighter, feeling him swell and get harder, grinning, your eyes still closed, working him fast and firm.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Jungkook swore repeatedly, pinching your nipples and rolling them between his fingers (damn, he was making you work to keep this smirk on your face, but it was worth), tendrils of pleasure snaking through you. You bit the side of your lip, increasing your pace, squeezing just under the head the way he liked, pre-cum pooling around the pocket of your index finger and thumb, adding lubrication.

"Stop, s-stop, I'm gonna e-explode," Jungkook moaned, planting his hands onto your tits and sinking his fingers in the softness once more (hello? where's the titty love, this ain't all about you, Jungkook). 

"I like dynamite," was you answer, cracking one eye open. "Light it up." 

Jungkook growled in his throat, glaring at you. "I swear to God, if you weren't so fucking hot, I'd be so fucking limp right no–aah, d-don't, oh fuuuck, please..."

You slid down the bed, switching hands, attaching your mouth to his balls (he was probably grateful for that, can't talk with a mouthful of nuts, sad) and put your breasts on his thigh, rubbing your nipples all over his hard muscle as you sucked, starting off slow, then faster and faster, one to the other, tongue all over, Jungkook loudly rambling nonsense above you (you weren't paying attention, you had a dick to jack off and some balls to rearrange with your masterful tongue) until Jungkook squealed at your firm grip on the head, cutting off his orgasm once again.

"Stop edging me," he hissed angrily above you.

You blew a raspberry on his nuts.

"A-ah, fuuuuuuuuck!"

Oh, that turned out to be more pleasurable than either you or Jungkook imagined, because his eyes were gigantic and his hips were furiously humping your hand, but you weren't holding him tight enough for him to cum. You raised your eyebrows at him and Jungkook gave you the most displeased expression he could muster (he looked cute as fuck, a complete fail), ash blond strands clinging to his forehead, nose scrunched up.

"That was for jacking off without me," you tutted.

"You would have gotten pissed if I woke you up to fuck," he pouted.

"I need beauty sleep to be beautiful."

"I hear facials actually help quite a lot."

You burst out laughing and Jungkook followed suit, his rich, full, almost wheezing laugh, until he realized you had swiped a condom from the nightstand (yup, they were casually in a little moon-shaped dish by the bed next to the chap stick and phone charger, says a lot about you two), fitted it on him, and then you sat on his dick.

"W-Wait – oooooooh, fuck!"

You waited a second for your body to adjust, forcefully stretched out by his thick girth, but it wasn't that bad when you were controlling your muscles and expecting it, so you started rocking your hips after the second, sighing in satisfaction. Jungkook's eyes rolled back into his head, his long fingers bunching up on his chest, raising his ass to get deeper with every slap of hips to hips, your body talking to his, heat rising through you, branching out your spine and to your limbs, the best kind of workout (your only workout, be honest here), clenching your core, making Jungkook snap his head back in panic, shaking his head furiously.

"I'm g-gonna cum if you keep going l-like that..."

You leaned down, brushing his hands away and spreading your fingers over his pecs, running your nails over his hard nipples. Jungkook whimpered, chewing on his lip, you turning the tempo from a fast one to a longer, slower, more complete stroke from head to base, soft ass smacking his soft balls. He looked up at you, moaning softly, pupils blown wide, rainbow shadows over his face (damn, he's pretty, eleven out of ten, for sure), gasping your name, his hands finding your forearms and caressing them, eyelashes fluttering.

"O-oh, fuck, p-please... faster... wanna cum... you're so fucking sexy... ah, fuck, wanna cum for you..."

No one could say no to that, especially not you.

You slid your arms down to the bed, right beside his head, and increased the force, intensifying it all, Jungkook's fingers flying up and holding onto your nipples, the sheer wildness of your own pace tugging and pulling on them, your breathing deepening, panting hard, wispy and hot, his name on your lips, pleasure all over, passionately fucking him into the bed, and him jutting his hips back into your soaked walls, throbbing against the tightness, so hot, fire coursing through you, your juices soaking his crotch and balls.

“Jungkook, oh, fuck, yes...”

You squeezed him hard and Jungkook thrust into you with a groan, all hardness and thickness violently burying itself into your overwhelming heat and you moaned lustfully, pussy shuddering around his wonderful cock, feeling it shiver repeatedly, his orgasm filling up the condom so much that you felt the latex stretch inside you, jarring jerks with each of Jungkook's soft cries, his head shoved into the pillows, blond hair fanning out like a halo and practically wearing out your name with how many times he was chanting it.

You reached and held down the condom as you unsheathed (the beast), collapsing against the bed and laying down, wheezing a little, greatly satisfied at your work.

"Boom."

You weakly reached up and mimed a firework with one hand.

"Like dynamite."

"Oh, my fucking God," Jungkook muttered, peeling off the condom and immediately snatching the towel next to the bed (also says a lot about you two) and another condom, yanking off the other one (trash can next to the bed already, again says – never mind, you get it) and cleaning himself off before putting on the new one. "On your back."

You rolled on your back, snickering. "Three parts dynamite, with a nitroglycerin cap–"

Jungkook clapped a hand on your mouth and it smelled a whole lot like his cum. "This is not the time to be quoting the Addams Family, you animal."

You nuzzled out of it, grinning. "I'm just saying I want an orgasm equivalent to blowing up a small house."

"Oh, you'll get it," Jungkook growled, yanking your hips to the center of the bed, pushing your legs up to your chest, almost bending you in half. "You ready?"

You bit your lip, still grinning. "Of course."

One hand left your leg and you were confused for a split second.

The next you were gasping, Jungkook rapidly smacking his hand into your clit and pussy, not hard, but constant, swift smacks that got you wetter and wetter, quivering and struggling for breath.

"J-Jungkook, oh f-fuck, Jungkook..." you whined, fingers digging into the sheets, twisting them, bouncing your hips towards him. He inhaled sharply, fitting his finger onto your clit and raising himself.

"W-wait – oh fuck!"

Jungkook chuckled and thrust into your wet warmth, rubbing your clit at the same time. Your body squirmed, trying to alleviate the sudden high rush of pleasure, but Jungkook was stronger (was this the reason he worked out? no complaints here), his free hand pressing your leg down into your chest, your other leg crammed against his shoulder, his hand snaking in between and stimulating your clit, not having to move because you were moaning helplessly, rutting against him repeatedly, pulsating all around him, so good, so good, throbs of desire against his callused fingertip, eyes rolling back. Hard cock, engorged clit worked into a frenzy, your own hips fucking him back so hard that Jungkook was moaning with you, your name tumbling out from those pink lips.

"Cum for me, fuck, you sound and look so sexy, come on, come on..."

You would have praise for him too if you could breathe, but you couldn't, pleasure so overwhelming that your eyes closed, getting there, getting so close, and Jungkook he kept going until you wailed his name, back arcing, your tits hitting your thighs, forearms taut and straining, lower body lurching towards him and leaking out slick juices all over his crotch and yours, so much so that his finger slipped and his nail nicked your clit, turning your moan into a howl of ecstasy.

"Oh, shit, are you ok–"

You grabbed his hips, ignoring whatever the fuck he was saying, and slammed him down into your pussy, making Jungkook lose his balance and put his hands on the bed, yelping, and you hissing in his face, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, please, Jungkook, give me your cock, and Jungkook was saying something but your body gave no fucks, ears mysteriously broken at that specific moment, raising your hips to meet his as he sank down, Jungkook's face scrunching up and his pleas finally reaching your ears.

"H-Hold on, I want to last, stop, stop, stop..."

"Who cares about that, I need dick," was your very impatient response, but Jungkook grabbed your thighs and pinned you down, stopping you and him from moving, you whining and clenching around him.

"This is not p–"

Jungkook immediately fitted his hand over your mouth, narrowing his eyes at you. "No. Bad. Shush."

(How did he know you were going to say 'this is not poggers'?)

You wiggled your ass and Jungkook growled, pulling out and slamming back in, not fast, but powerful, cock getting harder and harder with your whines and cries behind his palm.

"This is what you need," he panted, deep and gravelly, one hand on the bed and one on your mouth, fucking you so hard that your ass was bouncing on the bed, creating a wet spot on the sheets with how drenched you were for Jungkook's lust-filled, husky voice. "Need me to fuck you silent, fuck, you're so tight and wet, come on, cum for me, cum for me, you sexy, sexy woman..."

Your body was already complying, pleasure wrapping all around, body so hot from the fire within, tongue pressed against his palm, moaning lewdly around his fingers as you came again, and he was so hard, fuck, Jungkook was so fucking hard right after he woke up, always, (a fucking mystery and eighth wonder of the world and your pussy was thoroughly investigating), so deep and so thick, your muscles clutching him tight, sucking him back in. His fingers separated a little, loosening his grip, and you heard your needy whimper mildly muffled by his digits.

"You're so good Jungkook, I love you, fuck, I love your cock, Jungkook..."

You looked up into his eyes, at his long hair hanging around his face, jaw clenched, smirking as he saw your gaze, biting the side of his lips in concentration.

"I love you too," he breathed. "You're the sexiest, most beautiful woman in the world."

You clamped around him and Jungkook groaned, eyelids fluttering, grunting as he forcefully thrust into you, your name mixed with a moan as he came again, fully sheathing himself in your quivering, abused heat, warm pulses soothing him and you all over. The sheets stuck to your ass, covered in your sweet-smelling cum.

(Good thing that was on his side of the bed.)

His hand glided up your face, pushing back your hair, shuddering as he rutted into your core a few more times, savoring your tightness.

"You alright, my dude?" you whispered nonchalantly, gasping slightly.

Jungkook cracked one eye open. "Yeah, I'm fucking fantastic, bro."

"Pog-"

Jungkook shoved two fingers into your mouth and you choked a little, pouting around his fingers (you weren't surprised though, you knew it was coming).

"I will whip this dick out and slap you in the face with it."

"That's kinda nasty, but also sounds kinda hot," you gargled around his fingers.

"... You're right. Damn, he's asleep. Shit."

Jungkook pulled his fingers out and wiped them on the towel, frowning as he glanced down.

"Only him and not us, something seems a little inverted here."

Jungkook chuckled and leaned down to kiss you (another reason why he was the perfect partner, still being affectionate, regardless of your loony antics).

"I love you."

-

in which you anger jjk by being annoying - wait, that’s every day well, he still wants to bang you counter point

--

masterpost

[afriendlyblackhottie]

Tamed

Summary: Steve is tired of you being rude.

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Bratty!Black!Reader

Warnings: smut, Captain kink, dubcon, blowjob, rough sex, dirty talk, creampie

(A/N: I have writers block so I forced myself to finish this WIP. This is has been a WIP for a loooooong time like one of my first stories but I never finished it 😬. Like, follow, reblog 💜 ✌🏾)

Tagging: @titty-teetee @olyvoyl @donutloverxo @queenoftheworldisdead @zaddychris @harrysthiccthighss @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss (it wouldn’t let me tag you) @iam-laiya @hqneyyincc @liquorlaughslove @brattycherubwrites @mariahthelioness29

——————————————————————————

Steve was clearly irritated with you. The way you walked around the compound like you owned the place. How you'd almost fucked up the last mission because you acted like you couldn't listen to his direction. He couldn't help, but think about what would have happened if you'd gotten hurt worse than the few scrapes and bruises you'd ended up with. Being the tiny little thing you were, no more than five foot four you were easily breakable despite how tough you seemed.

Now you were walking around the compound like a pouty brat because you'd been officially benched for a few weeks. He'd ripped into you as soon as you'd gotten home and even though he didn't know it you stood in the shower washing all the dirt and blood on you with blood shot eyes because you'd rather die than admit that he hurt your feelings.

Since then you'd been giving him the silent treatment. When he talked you ignored him. When you felt really annoyed you'd leave the room if he was there. You'd proven you could handle yourself from the start and yet he still didn't trust you and it made you want to throw something at his stupid perfect face.

Except right now you two there the only ones home. It was probably the first time ever that it'd happened. Natasha, Sam, and Bucky were on a mission for once letting Steve have a week off. Wanda and Vision were away on some romantic getaway. Tony was doing business with Pepper. Rhodey had been deployed to Korea for a few months. Bruce was giving assistance to a village that was being ravaged by sickness. Thor was god knows where.

You'd been spending your days either watching bad reality shows, reading, working out, scrolling through Instagram and Twitter, chatting with your non-hero friends, or eating junk food that you'd normally be scolded about. All while acting like Steve wasn't there even though he was annoyingly around you.

You had on a pair of way too short booty shorts that made your ass peek out. When you'd gotten cold and instead of changing into pants you pulled on a pair of thigh high socks. You laid on your stomach with Love and Hip Hop Hollywood playing in the background even though you weren't paying attention, legs up and swaying back and forth.

He'd walked into the common room eyes narrowed as he zeroed into you. You rolled your eyes as soon as you felt his presence. "We need to talk," he pretty much demanded.

You didn't look up, still scrolling on your phone. "Mmmm," you hummed.

"Whatever your problem is this needs to stop," he said.

You bit your tongue before taking a deep breath. You liked a picture that a beauty guru had just posted. "Mhm."

"The games need to stop, Y/N- wait, are you listening to me?" He asked. His voice was sharp. Inside you actually wanted to run and hide, but you were kind of determined to keep up this whole charade.

"Yup," you popped before a yawned escaped from your lips.

He kissed his teeth, chuckling sarcastically before reaching over to snatch the pink device out of your hands.

"Hey!" You protested immediately turning over. "What the fuck!"

"Oh glad to have your attention now," he mocked.

"Give me my phone!" You demanded, standing up to grab it from the much taller man. He held it out of reach and you stood on your tippy toes to make an unsuccessful attempt.

He smirked, kind of enjoying seeing your struggle. "Listen and maybe I will."

You glared at him, plopping down on the couch as you crossed your arms. "You're such an asshole!"

"You know what?" He yanked you up by your arm with a bruisingly tight grip the force making you gasp.

"What the fu-"

"Shut up," his tone was demanding once again. "I'm tired of you walking around here like a fucking disrespectful brat."

As much as you loved to push his buttons, you'd never seem him like this. He rarely cussed. Never had he talked to you like this before. "And, you're being an asshole," you couldn''t stop yourself from saying.

"Maybe if you learned how to follow directions, I wouldn't have to do shit to put you in your place." He'd managed to grab both of your hands, holding onto them tightly. His other hand went to your neck, putting just enough pressure to let you know he meant business. “Wanna keep talking shit?”

It was unlike you to suddenly get so quiet as you bit your bottom lip. This didn’t go unnoticed by him as his eyes were immediately drawn to your mouth.

“So this is what you needed.” He kissed his teeth. “Needed me to put you in your fucking place, huh.”

You shook your head not being able to help yourself as you still made an attempt at defiance. Of course you fucking liked it. Part of the reason you liked to annoy him was because he was kind of cute when he was all riled up. You just weren’t expecting him to go this far.

He turned you around, his hold still around your neck as he let your arms fall. Your back was against his front pressed to his strong chest. Your ass against his now hardening dick. The friction felt so good. You were itching for him to rip your tiny shorts away so he could have his way with you. “Am I going to have to teach you how to be good to your Captain?”

You let out a small gasp then still shook your head once again. “No,” you blurted out. You just couldn’t help it. He brought out the best in you. That doesn’t mean you didn’t want him to fuck you up for it.

“No?” He pushed you forward to where your ass was sticking up in the air. “Are you trying to make it worse for yourself?”

“Steve-“

“Captain,” he cut you off to correct you, ripping your shorts down your legs like you’d wanted him to along with your panties. “You call me Captain when you speak to me until you learn some fucking manners.”

“I’m sorry,” you whimpered.

“Wait, what was that?” He teased as he started to rub your slit.

You didn’t reply instead trying to wrap your head around how he was touching you.

“I asked you to repeat yourself,” He said, his finger settling on his clit.

You licked your lips and tried to swallow your moaning. “I don’t remember.”

“Don’t fucking play with me right now,” he said smacking your ass so hard you knew you’d bruise.

“Captain!” You gasped.

It was like a whirlwind when he picked you up to throw you over his shoulder. You struggled against him, trying to wiggle away as he carried you off. None of it fazed him as you hit his muscular back. All he did was slap your ass your phone and ripped shorts went out of view. Fucking Steve. Those were your favorite pair.

He threw you on his bed, making you bounce up and then back down. “Ste- Captain,” you corrected yourself quickly, “why are you being such a, a-” you tried to find the right word.

“A what?” He snapped, grabbing you by your hair, daring you to finish.

“An asshole,” you finally said.

He grabbed your chin, squeezing your jaw before pulling away to slap your cheek. “Because you fucking deserve it.”

“Ow!” You whined. He ignored it as he forced you off the bed and onto your knees in front of him. Steve undid his pants, sliding them down his body. Your mouth dropped as his cock came into view. It was so long and thick and veiny. Of course even his dick would be perfect. “Holy fuck.”

He took advantage of your open mouth, putting the head on your lips fisting his hands into your hair again. “You gonna be a good cocksucker for me, Honey?” He grunted.

You moaned around him as you hallowed out your cheek. His language was still surprising to you, but you were still turned on like fuck. You pulled away from him quickly so you could take off your tank top, letting your tits fall free before sticking your tongue out so you could suck his dick again.

You tried taking him down your throat, but it wasn’t easy considering how big he was. Hell you had to open your mouth really wide to even take him in your mouth. How would was your poor pussy supposed to handle this. 

"I've been thinking about fucking your mouth for so long, Baby," he moaned as he put a hand on your cheek, smoothing his thumb over your cheek. You looked so perfect like this. Pouty lips around his dick as he fucked your throat, his balls hitting your chin, and your beautiful eyes watering. "You look so pretty with Daddy's cock in your mouth."

Who knew Steve Rogers had such a filthy mouth.

"Stop, Baby," he said, pulling his cock out of your mouth. Your lips were so swollen and cheeks puffy. "Finally you're being a good girl. C'mere." He helped you onto your feet before pecking your mouth. "Look at these pretty tits," he said, bringing his hands up to palm your mounds, tweaking your nipples between his fingers before laying a smack on each other. 

You yelped and tried to back away from him, only for him to grab your wrist again to spin you around. You were back to square one, but this time you were naked. 

"That's it, Baby. Look at that pretty little body. I'm gonna destroy that pretty pussy," he whispered in your ear and you keened. 

He walked you over to the bed and shoved you down so your ass was up in the air giving him total access to your cunt. He laid a smack on it before bringing his hands to your pussy again.

"You're soaking, Baby. You want me to fuck you, huh."

You didn't want to give him the satisfaction of admitting it to him, but yes. In the back of your mind you'd always wanted him. Always wanted him to take you. Dominate you. Fuck you into submission.

He was just now finally taking what he pretty much already owned. 

"Answer me, Y/N. Or else I'll make sure you don't get the chance to cum."

You moaned. "Yes."

"Yes what?" He asked, smacking your ass again.

And, again you let out a yelp. "Yes, I want you to fuck me." And that's when he entered you, full force from behind not even giving you a chance to adjust to his big dick. Your pussy was being forced to stretch around him. As much as it hurt, as much as it felt like you were being violated, you fucking loved it. 

You pressed your face into the mattress letting out a moan into it. "You're gonna act like a bitch, I'm gonna fuck you like one," he grunted. The grip on your ass was bruising. You'd be all kinds of marked up in the morning.

“Captain,” you moaned as he stuffed himself inside of you.

His dick was hitting that spot inside of you. It was driving you crazy. He looked down seeing himself go into you and the way your tight cunt still hugged his dick as he pulled out. It left his creamy wetness on his cock. “Fuck,” he moaned under his breath. “God, that’s such a pretty sight to see. I could take a picture.”

All of that with the way you were moaning for him. Those cute whimpers that kept coming up through your throat. Maybe next time you could make a little movie so he could play it back later.

“See, little girls like you talk all that shit and can’t even take a dick. So pathetic.”

“Yes, Captain,” you cried out. “Yes. Fuck me.” It hurt so good the way he was doing you. The grip he had on your ass and the way he was forcing you to take every single thick inch. He was rutting into you like he had something to teach you and you had definitely learned your lesson. “I’m gonna cum,” you whined. “I’m gonna... I’m, I’m, I’m...”

“Already? Couldn’t even handle it a little bit?”

“Yes!” You screamed into the pillow. “Yes. Yes. Yesyesyesyesyes!” You came undone around him for the first time. Eyes rolling into the back of your head, body going stiff. It felt like every sense had been intensified. He didn’t stop. Keeping up his pace because he wasn’t ready. He needed to make sure he left you all fucked out. Needed to show you who was boss.

“See, that’s such a good girl. Cumming all for your Captain,” he said, grabbing your hair as your pussy tightened around him. It kept going like that for a few thrusts because he was trying to leave you sore and bruised before finally pulling out of you so he could push you onto your back.

He didn’t even give you a chance to react as he entered you again. “Captain!” You were to the point where actual tears were coming down your face. Not that it was going to stop him. Being a whiney little baby wasn’t going to get you anywhere with him. “I’ll be good!”

“That’s right,” he said. “I know you fucking will.”

“I’m sorry for being such a brat,” you sobbed as your body didn’t stop convulsing. He held your legs by your thighs.

“Don’t you ever, ever question my authority ever again.” He was pounding you so good with no mercy. He was so deep you could feel him in your stomach yet your pussy couldn’t get enough.

“I know I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Captain.” You sobbed as you tried to take what he was giving you, but it was starting to be too much.

“See that’s better,” he said not stopping as he fucked you hard. “Isn’t that better?”

You nodded feeling yourself on the verge of another orgasm. Your stomach tightening as he had you feeling like you were bent in half. How the fuck were you supposed to come back from this. There was no way you were letting another man fuck you ever again. No one would be able to fuck you this hard and rough.

He put one of your legs over his shoulder so he could somehow get deeper. You should have known that Steve Rogers would be a perfectionist even when he was hate fucking you. Yet you didn’t want him to ever stop.

“I’m fucking cumming.” You squealed.

“Now you can’t stop cumming on my dick,” he grunted. “Should have fucked the brat out of you forever ago.”

“Yes, Captain, yes,” you cried as you squirted around him. “Fuck, yes.” Your mouth dropped open. The look of desperation and ecstasy was only making him want to fully make you his. Made him want to cum in your tight cunt. Made him want to cum so deep inside of you.

Fuck it he wasn’t going to hold back. He grabbed your hair holding it tight as he finally started to unload inside of you. Wanting to give you every single drop of his white hot seed.

“Gonna cum so deep in this pussy,” he couldn’t stop himself as he rammed so deep inside of you, stilling so he could make sure you felt every inch. The feeling of him flooding your pussy made you tighten around him, gripping his dick like a vice. “Fuck!”

“Yes, Captain!” You raked your nails on his back as his hips stuttered into you before slumping on top of you.

Your heart was pounding in your chest as you wrapped your arms around his neck. He took a deep breath as he looked up at you. Surprising the both of you by kissing your lips.

He rolled off of you, pulling you into his arms. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

“No. Don’t say sorry.” You shook your head wincing at how tender you felt. “I’m sorry for being a bitch.”

“It’s okay.” He chuckled. “I’m just not used to being talked back to. I actually kind of liked it. That’s why I went so crazy.”

You smirked. “Well, Captain, I can keep doing what I was doing.”

“Don’t push your luck. Or next time I might not be so nice.”

[ifeellikeameowster]

Raise Hell - Creativitwins and Darkside!Roman Fic

Fic Summary: After a brooding session in his room after the events of SVS2, Roman decides Fuck It! and visits his brother Remus' room. As the two brothers reconnect, Roman ends up making a startling decision.

Warnings: Roman Angst, Self Loathing, Self Deprecating, Darkside!Roman, Gore, Violence, Weapons, Sexual Innuendos (Basically Remus just being Remus)

Pairings: None!

Wordcount: 7k+ (almost 8k)

Author's Note:

I started writing this fic immediately after SVS2 so it's canon complacent until after that, where it branches off into this AU! This was before both Flirting With Social Anxiety and Working Through Intrusive Thoughts came out, so please just consider this an alternate "What If?" scenario! (Also this just goes to show you how much I procrastinate when it comes to writing whoops lol.)

Roman sat curled up on his bed. Sitting in the same position that he had been for the past two days or so. He couldn't exactly recall how long he had been there holed up in his room, actually.

The only thing he could recall was the disappointed looks on their faces, their harsh words whether intentional or not, and the feeling of his whole world seemingly crumbling down around him. It was all too much too soon, and after his outburst he had sunken into a numb state of suspension. Waiting to feel anything other than anger, grief, and disappointment. All three of which were mainly pointed dangerously at his own self like a bunch of daggers repeatedly striking where they knew it would hurt most.

Patton had stopped by shortly after he had first sunk out, yes. But Roman could hardly hear what the fatherly side was saying to him over the ringing in his ears and his own rapid heartbeat constantly reminding him it had been recently struck through. Something about everything being okay, he thinks? Yet how could Patton have said that when absolutely nothing was okay right now? In fact, he doubted anything could be okay ever again. Not after…well, after he had apparently messed up again.

It was starting to become a habit now, all of these stupid mistakes. And how could such a perfect prince as him make such mistakes? He was supposed to be a paragon of perfection! An idol for all aspiring heroes alike! The pinnacle of heroism and all that is good in the world! Instead he was just...just wrong. Always wrong. Always wrong no matter who's side he took or who he believed in or what he said or didn't say. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

But if he wasn't a perfect prince...if he wasn't a hero...if he wasn't right...then what exactly was he? What was left? Well, nothing, really. He had put all of his eggs in one basket and now the littlest breeze had apparently sent it toppling over.

Wait a minute...If he had nothing left, then that meant he had nothing left to lose, right? Which meant all of his old restrictions on himself, all of his walking the fine line and all of him staying on the right side of the fence- All of it was meaningless. It was doing nothing, just like him.

He slowly unfurled his body from it's curled up position and turned his gaze towards the closet on the far side of his room. The door was dingier compared to the rest of the elegant and ornately designed bedroom. Scratch marks marred its greyed, wooden surface and a sign was tapped loosely and half-hazardly to the middle. "Danger: Nightmare Zone. Keep out!" It read in bright red lettering.

"Keep out, huh...I must have been really mad when I wrote that." Roman glanced down to his hands, which he had clenched. "But now I'm just empty...so what's the use in obeying a stupid sign that I put up there myself?" He unfisted his hands and looked back to the imposing closet door. "What could be more dangerous in there than staying here and stewing in my own thoughts?"

He slowly stood up, his legs tingling from being in one position for far too long. He made his way over to the closet door. Slowly. Cautiously. Glancing over his shoulder as if someone was going to walk in on him at any moment. As his hand grasped the handle, he felt himself gulp. Did he really want to do this?

"…"

Well, what else was there to do?

He pushed the door open and stepped into the closet full of old clothes. All of his new princely adornments were actually being stored in a mahogany wardrobe beside his nightstand. These clothes were...they belonged to...Well, someone who didn't exist. At least not anymore. He pushed his way through dusty and moth-bitten clothes as if he was pushing through the undergrowth of a dense jungle. As he neared his destination, the place grew darker and smelled more and more of mold.

He finally arrived at another door. This one was more well kept than the last, with golden trimmings and an intricate door handle. He took a deep breath to steal his nerves before pushing it open.

He stepped out into another bedroom. This one had moss in the corners, cobwebs on the ceiling, and ivy climbing it's walls. Even still, it was much tidier than he had been expecting. It gave off more of a wild feeling rather than a dirty one. Just as he was about to take another step to inspect further, there was a mace in his face.

He hadn't even flinched back, he was so tired and dazed. Roman sucked in a nervous breath and looked to the wielder of the weapon.

Remus was standing frozen in place, his face flickering between emotions. Eyes twitching. It appeared like he had intended to knock him out again...just like last time in the living room...but something must have made him pause.

"You've been crying." He hissed, less of a question and more of an accusation.

Roman blinked, confused, before reaching up to poke the skin underneath his eyes. Sure enough, it was puffy. He bet if he looked in a mirror they'd be red-rimmed as well. But he didn't even want to see his own face right now. He huffed out in irritation. "So what if I have?"

Remus' face flickered once more before settling into a firm stare as he slowly lowered his morning star mace away from Roman's head. He was being oddly still and slow in his motions, and the difference between this and his usual rambunctiousness was making Roman's skin crawl with nerves. "Why?"

"Why?" Roman repeated after him, bristling, "Why do you even care why?"

Remus blinked, seeming to come out of his previous mood. "You tell me Prince Smarmy! You came into my turf." He rested his mace behind his shoulders and started rocking back and forth on the heels of his boots.

"I…" Roman's gaze fell to the ground. "I don't know. It's just the last place I could go, I guess?" He shrugged before waving a dramatic arm, "But if you don't want me here either, then just say it to my face!"

Remus tilted his head curiously before leaning forward "Oh, I can do way better than that, brohide." And with that, he snapped his fingers and the room flipped upside down.

Roman gasped as they fell through the air. The room seemed to twist and morph around them. Until finally, he had landed roughly on his own fluffy white floor rug. Remus, however, had fallen through the fancy canopy of his bed. Tearing a large hole through it and landing in a heap on the covers.

"Hey, my bed!" He shouted, offended beyond belief.

"Oh tough titty." Remus chastised as he picked up a golden laced, red silk pillow. He started plucking at it's loose threads. "I bet you have a ton of those ugly tent things."

"They're called canopies, you uncultured swine!"

Roman got up in a huff and dusted off and straightened his rumpled clothes. He sent a glare over to Remus as he did so. "Why'd you do that?"

"Do what?~" He sing-songed annoyingly back.

"Teleport us in such an unruly manner!"

"Hmmm…" He flopped over on to his back and started doing snow angel motions. "Why'd you go in my room?~Huh? Huh?"

"Wha- I- I asked you first!"

"I asked you second!!" He rolled over on the bed to grin up at Roman, still clutching the poor, abused pillow.

"Ugh, fine!" Roman threw his hands up in the air and moved to grab his vanity chair. He pulled it over to sit in front of the bed. "I just didn't want to be in my own room right now, okay??"

Remus frowned with pursed lips and sat up, scooching forward on the bed. "But it's your room, numbnuts."

"Well maybe I don't want to be near me right now…Um, wait. That doesn't make any sense, does it?"

"Probably not! But-" He cupped a hand over his mouth and loudly whispered conspiratorially, "I can rip your head off your body and throw it to the side for you so you're not close to it anymore?"

"No that's...That's not what I meant and you know it!"

"Fucking party pooper!" Remus threw his hands up then abandoned the pillow he had been holding to riffle curiously through the rest. "Do you not keep a dagger under your pillow??"

"What? No, of course not! Who would do that?"

"Me, duh! For security reasons, bitch boy."

"Well I'm obviously more sensible than that. I keep swords under the bed like a sane person."

"Wait, really?!" Remus threw himself over the side of the bed to look underneath it. "Holy shit, nice!" He rustled through them for a moment before grabbing a sleek black flamberge by it's blade and pulling it up. "I'm keeping this!"

"I would protest that but you've already gotten your filthy blood all over it and that sword is a particular bitch to clean."

"Sibling souvenir!" Proclaimed Remus as he stabbed it into his stomach for safe keeping.

"What on earth are you doing? Why would you stab yourself??"

"To make sure it doesn't go anywhere! Oh, and to test it's stabby powers."

"You know in hindsight, I shouldn't have even asked."

"Speaking of askings of questions-ing, why did you visit my room of all places? Needed to get rid of some trash? Because I'm taking if you're offering. I could always use more decorations!"

"Remus, you rat bastard, I saw that your room was cleaner than you let people believe it to be. If you did take any of my trash you'd probably organize it into the proper bins and everything."

Remus gasped and put an offended hand over his chest. "How dare you! My room is perfectly and gloriously trashy and stinky, just like me."

"Mhmm, sure it is."

A shuriken flew past the side of his head and embedded itself right in the face of one of his many Disney posters.

"Just answer my question!!"

"Okay, okay jeez!" Roman raised his hands placatingly before dropping them to grip at his knees nervously. "I, well, I didn't want to be alone anymore…"

"And? You couldn't just visit the other lamo light bitches in the living-dead room?"

"They, um." He sighed before looking over at his posters. Prince Charming smiled brightly back at him, even with a weapon digging into his forehead. "They don't want to be around me. They don't want me. Not anymore. If they ever did. They have him, after all. Both of them."

"Him. Them. Stop playing the pronoun game already and get fucking on with it!"

"He has Janus now! Thomas chose Janus! Patton chose Janus! They chose Janus! They both chose Janus...over me…" Roman blurted out. The words were spilling out now, unstoppable. He sniffled as he felt the tears threatening to fall once more as well. He didn't even realize he had any left to cry. "I chose Thomas. Thomas chose Patton. Patton chose Janus. No one ever chooses me! No one ever takes my side!"

"Apparently, I'm always the one in the wrong..." He ran his shaky hands over his cheeks, desperately trying to push any tears that appeared away. To keep them from falling anymore. Hadn't he cried enough? "I was wrong about Virgil. I was wrong with how I talked to Logan. I was wrong about the breakup. I was wrong about the wedding. Now I was wrong about Deceit- no, Janus- ugh...Everything I do is wrong!"

He lowered his hands again to dig his fingers back into his knees. Roman drew in another shaky breath, trying to calm himself after the outburst. He glanced nervously up at Remus to gauge his reaction to his brother's crazed rambles.

Remus had leaned forward to hear him better over his sobs and shaky voice, almost tipping over the edge of the bed. He had his nails digging into Roman's comforter, and Roman was afraid he was about to rip holes into it. He already had a canopy to replace after all, he didn't want to have to replace that as well! They stared at each other in tense silence for a few moments more, one at a loss on what to say next and the other trying to process the onslaught of new information. Finally, Remus let go of the comforter, slid off the bed, and sat on the floor in front of him with his legs splayed out.

"So what you're saying is...wait, Jan Jan the Banana Man actually told you his name?"

"Well, he more so told Thomas and Patton it and...I just happened to be there too?"

"Huh. Never thought he'd tell anyone else. Well, not after Virgil…was Virgil there?"

"No. Unfortunately Virgil wasn't there to back me up. If he would have even taken my side at all...And Logan was...there in textbox spirit?"

"What'd nerd-a-lerd say?"

"He…well, I wasn't really paying much attention to- I was panicking okay! But I heard enough." He looked to the side, feeling shame well up in himself again. "Enough to know that he was taking his side, just like everyone else."

He heard a mumbled "Damn pronoun name again-" before Remus clapped his hands together with a loud boom that echoed through the large room. "Okay! And I can't believe I'm saying this but- tell me the whole story. Top dick to bottom butt."

"Ew." Roman wrinkled his nose up in disgust.

"Just tell me already!!" Annnddd another shuriken whizzed past his head. This time it embedded itself in his dresser. He hoped it hadn't cracked the wood too much...

Thus Roman spun the entire tale, starting at Janus' first appearance and ending with the absolute fiasco between the callback and the wedding that had occurred a couple of days ago...or had it been several? Time had muddied itself in his reclusion. He would take several breaks in his storytelling to go off on self-deprecating tangents that sounded an awful lot like dramatic monologues from some tragic play. More often than not these tangents were cut short by Remus, who would hurry them along with crude nicknames and threats to get back to the main story.

Somehow during this storytelling process both of the brothers had ended up splayed out side by side on top of Roman's fluffy white floor rug. As if they were kids gossiping on the floor at a sleepover. Remus had busied his hands by pulling out locks of the fur from the rug while Roman's own hands gesticulated wildly with the ups and downs of his tale. As he neared the end of the story, Roman curled up to lay on his side so he could face Remus and see his reaction.

"...and then I decided to go to your room. Because I had nowhere else to go. I didn't want to stay in my room with my own thoughts any longer...but I didn't want to see any of the other sides, either."

Remus was laying on his stomach, fiddling with the rug and swaying his feet in the air. At hearing the last bit, his feet fell back down to rest on the floor. "...But you wanted to see me?" His voice was the softest Roman had ever heard him speak. It was incredulous and almost...hopeful.

"I-I don't know. I-" Roman diverted his eyes across the room, sweeping over the damage done by them earlier and eventually landing on the dingy and scratched up closet door. He stared at it for a moment in thought before looking back over to Remus. "Do you ever…Ever miss sharing a bedroom?" He murmured.

Remus wrinkled his nose and glared at him, likely upset that he had dodged the question. "Not really. Your taste in stuff is far too Gucci-Gucci-bougie for me."

"No, not that!" Roman dismissed with a wave of his hand, " Not the furniture or anything like that. Just the…the feel of someone else being there too? Knowing that someone else is always there? Someone who's kind of like you but not really? Someone you can talk to when you have no one else?" Roman ran his fingers through his hair in distress. "Does that make any sense???"

Remus was still glaring at him, but now his eyebrows twitched with an unseen emotion. "Being brothers?" He hissed.

"What?"

Remus reached over to grab Roman's shoulders and shake him silly. "What you're describing. Is being brothers. What I wanted to be. What you didn't let us be. What you rejected. Shoved into the darkest corner. Placed under a Do Not Enter sign-"

"I'm sorry, okay! I didn't mean it!"

Remus paused in his shaking, several emotions flashing across his face. "Didn't mean it?"

"I know I-" Roman placed his hands over Remus' on his shoulders but didn't push him away and lowered his head in shame. "I acted rashly and perhaps a tad extreme to our new circumstances at the time. But it was for what I thought was the best. I only ever wanted to serve Thomas. I only ever wanted to please them. I never thought- I-" He looked sincerely back up into his brother's eyes. "I never thought about what that would mean for you. What that would do to you. What that would do to us. And for that, I'm sorry."

Remus loosened his grip but didn't let go entirely, staring intensely and attentively at Roman.

"I never actually wanted to push you away. I was just doing so because I thought- Well, okay admittedly I wasn't thinking much at all really but-" His eyes briefly flickered back to the closet door "I didn't want to become a dark side too! I didn't want to not be able to see Thomas. Or to be rejected by the others. I-" He laughed then. A dry, helpless laugh. He shifted to put his head in his hands. "But I guess that happened anyway, didn't it? What sick irony, huh? Maybe it's what I deserve… Maybe it's karmic retribution…"

"..."

"I shoved you away... And now they're shoving me away! I lost a brother so I could keep everyone and everything else in my life but now- now I've lost that, too- Now I have nothing. Now I am no-"

Remus tightened his grip on Roman's shoulders again and pulled him towards himself. He ended up knocking their heads together in the process-

"Ow! What the hell are you-"

-of wrapping his arms around Roman and hugging him to himself.

"You-You're hugging me?"

"You didn't lose a brother…" Remus pouted, as if he was a petulant toddler, "I've always been right fucking here if you'd open your stupid eyes for once."

Roman let out a shuddering breath, feeling an entirely new type of tear prickling at the corners of his eyes. He buried his head in Remus' shoulder and gripped onto the back of hid brother's clothes as if he was his last lifeline. He probably was.

Sure the hug was the most uncomfortable one he'd ever had, what with the hilt of the sword in Remus' stomach poking him in his own and his forehead still ringing with the pain from where Remus banged them together, but somehow it was still nice. It still felt like...home.

"...But I thought you hated me?"

"What gave you that idea?"

"You're always calling me names and hitting me with stuff!"

He felt Remus shrug. "You do the same thing."

"You do it first!"

"Eh- that's just what siblings do~~"

"With medieval weapons?!"

"Says the guy with a stash of swords under his bed!~" Remus sing-songed teasingly.

"Oh like you have room to talk- You said you keep daggers under your pillow!"

"Shouldn't everyone? You should keep some under yours too, Mr Whiny Prissy Pants!"

"And there's the name calling again."

"Hey now, you know it's the older siblings job to pick on the younger-"

"But I'm the older sibling! I manifested my form first!"

"Eh, semantics-schmantics! Same diff!"

"You're completely unreasonable!"

"And you're too stuck up!"

Roman let out a growl and smacked a hand over Remus' face, pushing him away and breaking up the hug. Remus let out a huff and reached over to slap the back of Roman's head in retaliation. This caused them to descend into a full on slap fight, looking like a slapstick scene straight out of a comedy movie.

They roughhoused like this, like a pair of bickering elementary schoolers, until they eventually tired themselves out and flipped gracelessly back onto the floor. They both stared at the ceiling for a few silent seconds before bursting out into fits of crazed laughter.

"That was the worst hug ever! Hahaha!"

"Hey! I don't have much practice! Heeheehee!"

"Haha! We must look like a couple of insane people lying here!"

"Haha! I knooowww~~ You're room is sooo trashed!~Heehee!"

"Hey! You're the one that trashed it! Hahaha!"

"Well you're the one who invited me here brozilla! Hahahoo!"

"You're the one that brought us here! Hahaheh! I wanted to be in your room! Heh!"

Their laughter eventually died down. But just as Roman was about to drift off into sleep from his position lying on the floor, he heard Remus ask, "Do you still want to go to my room?"

Roman blinked his eyes open. He sat up and looked forlornly around his own bedroom. The thought of staying here seemed lonely, now that he'd finally reunited and reconciled with his brother. And the pictures and posters adorning the walls just reminded him of past memories that only hurt to think about right now. "......Yeah. Yes, actually." He turned to Remus, who had also sat back up, " I know, I know it sounds crazy but-"

"I like crazy!" Remus grinned and raised his fingers in preparation to snap, causing Roman to have a flashback to the previous time he did it.

"Wait! Don't turn the room upside down again! We can just sink through the floor like we normally-"

"Sink through the floor? Okay, if you say so!" His grin widened maniacally and he snapped his fingers.

The floor started to shift and cave in on itself, causing Roman's furniture to all move closer to the center. A hole slowly opened under where the brothers had been sitting that pulled them down into it. Roman screamed as they were both sucked into the abyss.

His scream ended abruptly as he was flung up into Remus' room, the hole now acting as a geyser of sorts. Roman landed in an unruly manner and was knocked out of breath while Remus landed swiftly on his knee before rolling up into a standing position.

"Home, Smelly Home!" He proudly declared with his hands on his hips, either unaware of or uncaring towards his brother's struggle to get up from the floor.

"Shouldn't have opened my big mouth..." Mumbled Roman as he dusted his clothes off and tried to straighten his appearance, only for his work to be completely undone when Remus yanked him into his side and rustled his hair with his elbow. "Hey! Stop that! Do you have any idea how long it takes to do my hair?"

"Eh, it was already messed up anyways." Remus slapped Roman's shoulder, "Now come on slowpoke, I'm gonna give you the grand tour!" Remus then ran off further into his room, causing Roman to have to chase after him in order to keep up.

Remus showed him his bedroom first, which had a mirrored layout to Roman's, but the furniture was darker and more rustic. The decorations looked more like something out of a haunted mansion than a grand palace, like Roman's did. Remus then stopped by his weapons closet, where he finally removed the flamberge sword from his stomach and tossed it haphazardly inside. From what Roman could make out before Remus had shut the door again was that the room looked bigger on the inside than the title 'closet' would suggest. Remus then pointed out a few more small areas of note before eventually leading Roman to the back door.

Every side's room had a front door- where the other sides could enter their room, and a backdoor- where each side could go out of their room and into their own personal section of the mindscape. Most sides referred to it as their 'backyard', of sorts.

Roman followed Remus out of his backdoor and onto a balcony overlooking a dark, twisted forest. The balcony itself was the same design as Roman's own balcony but was made up of black marble instead of white. There were a few cracks here and there, yet it was overall fairly stable. English Ivy crept along the rails and crawled down the side of the castle. There were no stairs in sight, unlike with his own balcony, leading Roman to wonder whether Remus would take the time to climb down the Ivy or simply jump off of the railing in order to enter his backyard.

Remus spread his arms out in a grand gesture before spinning around to sit backwards on the railing, facing Roman. "So, what do ya' think? Badass digs, right?"

Roman, lost in thought and not expecting the question, blurted out the first thing to cross his mind. "We have similar balconies."

Remus raised an amused brow. "No shit, Sher-cock. We're in the same castle. Same castle, same floor plan. Duh."

"Wait, the same castle…?"

Remus shrugged, leaning far enough back on the railing to have Roman worry about him falling over the side of it, "It split when we did. We still share a room and space... it's just-" He waved around a hand dismissively. "Halved, now."

"Ah...so that's the reason we can visit each other without going through our front doors…" Roman walked up to lean forwards on the railing, right beside Remus. "Wonder why I didn't question that sooner?" He rested his chin in his hand with a sigh. "All this time, we were even in the same castle...the same area of the mindscape...and I never- I never even bothered to visit-"

Remus, who had grown bored of the conversation and had started to pick his nose, interrupted Roman's spiral by flicking boogers at him. "Hey now, none of that. You did enough moping back in your own room, you cry baby.*

"Ugh! Ew!" Roman sputtered indignantly and pulled out a doily to wipe his face. "You're disgusting." He huffed.

Remus stuck his tongue out at him and laughed. "If you start saying sad shit again, I'll give you a wet willy." He then leaned towards Roman and started wiggling his fingers menacingly.

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Try me, bitch!"

"Well, if you do that, then I'll- Then I'll shove you off of the balcony!"

Remus faked a scandalized gasp and placed a hand over his chest while the other draped across his forehead. "You'd murder your own dearest brother?!"

"It wouldn't kill you, you overdramatic oaf, sides can't die!"

"You're calling me overdramatic?" Remus abandoned the pose to lean forward with a knowing grin. "Talk about the pot calling the kettle black."

"Oh shut up." Roman pushed Remus away, before turning around to sit beside him atop the railing.

Remus' eyes widened. "My goody two shoes brother is sitting precariously on a railing? Since when? Is it opposite day? "

"What do you mean? I do dangerous stuff all the time!"

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

Roman gestured wildly, "I slay the dragons! I defeat the monsters! I save the people! I...fight the bad guys…" Roman deflated as his hands fell beside him to lock the rail in a death grip. "But I guess I failed at all of that, huh? So much for being a goody two shoes…"

Remus hummed in thought, nails tapping against the black marble. His legs swayed back and forth as they both looked up at the night sky above them in companionable silence. Roman eventually let out a forlorn sigh and relaxed his grip on the railing. Suddenly, Remus let out a loud gasp and clapped his hands together, startling Roman who in turn almost tipped over the edge of the balcony.

"I have the best idea!"

"Oh no, you're planning something. That can never be good."

" No, no! Really, really! Listen, listen!" Remus smacked Roman's arm and shoulder excitedly in-between each word.

"Okay, okay! Just stop!" Roman slapped Remus' hands away. "Tell me then brother, what is it?"

Remus beamed and jumped to stand back on the balcony. "Okay so, you're saying that the other sides are shutting you out, right? And that they made you feel like a stinky doodoo head?"

"Gee, thanks for reminding me. Totally helps me feel better." Roman grimaced with a sarcastic thumbs up as Remus paced back and forth.

"Right! So, they're starting to treat you like a villain. And J-Anus as a good guy?"

"I- I guess? That's like the bare essentials of what happened...I mean, that's what it seems like--Ugh, just what are you getting at?!"

Remus stopped pacing to spin towards Roman and spread his hands out. "So why not just be a villain?"

"......what?"

"Join the dark sides with me!" Remus then awkwardly faked a modeling pose. "We have great fashion! And weapons! Lots of weapons!"

Roman scoffed. "I know, I saw your weapons closet." He slid off the railing to stand in front of his brother. "But what makes you think I'd want to be a villain?"

"Well, they made you feel fucking awful, right?" Remus leaned forward with a menacing grin, "So why not give them a little hell in return?"

"What, as in revenge?! I'm supposed to be a purveyor of justice!"

Remus shrugged and started circling Roman. "Where's the justice in always shutting you out? Of always telling you that everything you do is wrong? Of splitting us apart?" He stopped to put his hands on Roman's shoulders again. "Aren't you tired of trying to be a good guy all the time? Don't you just want to let loose and raise a little hell?"

Roman bit his lip and wrung his hands together. He looked down at his feet as his brother's words rang through his head. Where was the justice in that? He had always tried to do the right thing before. To be the good guy. To be the hero. But no one ever appreciated his efforts. Instead they always, always focused only on his mistakes.

The other sides' voices chimed off in his head.

"Roman, you can't do that." "Shut up Roman." "That was wrong, Roman." "Stop being so dramatic, Roman."

He pushed those invading voices furiously away and tried to reorganize his thoughts.

Him, joining the dark sides? Could it even be done? A light side had never switched over to the dark side before... Well, unless you counted the original Creativity and their split. Where a part of that Creativity had...had been pushed to the dark sides and…

Roman's eyes widened in realization as he looked back up at his brother. "You too." He breathed out.

Remus squinted his eyes and scrunched his nose at him. "Hah?"

"Always being shut out. Always being told everything you do is wrong. Being forced to split apart." Roman grabbed the hands that were on his shoulders to move them down and squeeze them reassuringly. "You experienced all of that too. Even more than I did…Don't you want to raise hell too?"

Roman grinned in a very in unprincely manner and released Remus' hands. He swept his arms aside in a grand motion. "Let's raise hell together, brother. What do you say?"

Remus stared at him blankly for a moment before breaking out into a shit eating grin of his own. "Hell yeah! Hell mother fucking yeah!" He jumped up and down excitedly and clapped his hands. "Oh! We're gonna have so much fun! Those butt holes have no idea what's coming."

Roman chuckled fondly at his brother's enthusiasm. He felt lighter than he had in years. Free of responsibility. Free of expectations. Free of limitations. Free to do whatever he wanted. Speaking of which…

"You mentioned fashion earlier, didn't you?" Roman pulled at the hem of his shirt in thought before smirking up at Remus. "I believe for me to officially join the dark sides, a makeover may be in order."

Remus nodded and grabbed his brother's hand to drag him back inside, chanting, "Makeover time! Makeover time!" The entire way while pumping his fist victoriously into the air.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, in Thomas' living room.

"-and a part of taking care of yourself is to not self-deprecate." Janus was explaining, standing next to Logan.

"Yeah, you've gotta compliment yourself sometimes, Thomas!" Patton added happily.

Thomas scratched the back of his head nervously. "I don't know guys... isn't that a little…"

"Conceited?" Virgil cut in, glaring over at Janus' before looking back to Thomas. "What if we end up doing that out loud in front of others? What if people think we're stuck up?"

"Well, it's better than always thinking so negatively of himself." Janus spat out.

"Janus has a point, Virgil. It's been proven that constant self-deprecating behavior can have a wide range of negative effects on one's psyche and mental health." Logan chinned in while adjusting his glasses. "Which could also lead to eventual negative effects on one's physical health, including-"

"Well, I mean yeah!-" Virgil rushed to interrupt, "He shouldn't think too badly of himself...but he shouldn't think too highly of himself, either!" He uncrossed his arms and gestured towards the empty space where Roman usually stood. "I mean, what if Thomas ends up as stuck up as Princy here, huh? What would you do then-"

"Wait-" Thomas interrupted him, "Where is Roman? Has anyone seen him lately?"

The sides fell silent as they all looked curiously towards the empty spot.

"I haven't seen him since Janus joined us... Patton, didn't you check up on him or something?"

"Well, yeah! Of course I did kiddo!" Patton nodded then pouted, "He didn't seem to want to talk to me though…"

"Has anyone actually talked to Roman in a while? Where is he?"

The sides gave Thomas varying degrees of shrugs and noncommittal answers in response.

Thomas sighed, "Really, guys?" He then looked towards the corner again and called out, "Roman! Are you there? Are you listening? If so, come on up! You should join us!"

They waited in awkward silence for a while for Roman to appear, or to at least respond to Thomas' call...until they heard a deep chuckle emanating from behind the tv.

"Join you? Nope! Not possible~"

Hands crept out from behind the tv, grabbing onto the wall, causing everyone in the room to immediately be alert. They remembered the last time they saw hands there...this couldn't be good! Something was wrong! Sure enough, Remus slowly emerged, climbing up the wall as if he was a lizard. He then twisted his head around, causing Patton to almost faint from fear. Thomas, meanwhile, backed away as far as he could without falling over the couch.

"I'm afraid he's already joined someone else!~"

Remus jumped off of the wall to land in Roman's designated spot. His head and body shifted back to their original positions and he grinned at the others with his arms spread out. Now, the others could see that along with his usual attire, he also donned a crooked and cracked silver crown atop his head. His purplish eyeshadow was gone, instead replaced with a messily applied sparkly silver eyeshadow. Some of the glitter from it fell down the sides of his face to freckle his cheeks as well. The wide grin of his lips was painted in a deep green lipstick.

"Me!"

"Remus…?" Janus breathed out, confused.

"I didn't call for you! I called for Roman!" Thomas shouted once he had regained his composure from witnessing such a horrifying sight.

Virgil bristled and stood up from where he had been leaning against the stairs. "Where is he? What did you do with him?" He bared his teeth at Remus as if he was an agitated guard dog.

Remus put his hands on his hips and threw his head back with a laugh. "What did I do to him?" He leaned forward with a smirk. "What did you do to him? Huh?"

"Wha-what do you mean? W-we didn't do anything..." Stammered out Patton.

"Also, did he change his makeup?" Muttered Thomas, "It actually looks kinda good…"

"Focus on the main issue here, dudes!" Virgil snapped his fingers at them both before turning back to Remus. "Okay, whatever. It doesn't matter wherever you put him, just give him back!"

Remus chuckled and stepped to the side, "You hear that, dear brother? Sounds like they're ready for you to come out!~"

At that, the tv seemed to flicker to life. A colorful error screen appeared and started to crackle and fizz. As the glow from the tv lit up the room, the rest of the room started to glitch along with it.

The sides glanced around nervously, fear creeping into their bones once more.

"What's going on? What's happening to the room?!" Thomas panicked.

Logan placed a hand on his chin. "These types of spatial effects seeming to happen in Thomas' physical living room instead of just inside the mindscape...could it be?"

"No…" Gasped Janus, "No, it can't be!"

"Oh but it can!~" Announced another voice from inside the tv.

Hands reached out from inside the error screen to grasp the sides of the tv. A form slowly climbed out of the tv and stepped into the living room.

"......Roman? What on earth are you wearing?!" Virgil waved a hand incredulously at his new get up.

Roman, now fully standing beside Remus in his usual spot, smirked at Virgil and flicked his cape. "It's called fashion, Midnight Query."

Roman's usual outfit was now black in all of the areas it used to be white. On top of that, he wore a red velvet cape with a white and black spotted fur trim. On his shoulder laid a skull where the cape connected and clasped shut. His upper eyelid was decorated in sparkly gold eyeshadow and thick black eyeliner which spread out into a cat-eye look. His smirk donned blood red lipstick and a crown identical to Remus' was atop his head, except his crown was golden and not crooked or cracked at all. He looked like he had stepped right out of a fairytale…but as an evil king instead of a noble prince.

"Perhaps you should try it sometime, Dark and Dreary. It might make you look less…" Roman made a point of looking Virgil up and down before waving his hand at him with a scowl, "Drab."

"Roman! Where have you been? I missed you. Your makeup looks great!" Patton rambled ecstatically.

"Missed me?" He sneered, "Ha! I bet you all didn't even realize that I was gone." Roman then looked down to check his meticulously manicured nails with a bored expression.

"Of course we did! That's why I called you!" Insisted Thomas.

Roman tsked and shook his head. "Oh Thomas, Thomas. Always the peacemaker." He moved the hand he had been checking to flip his cape over his shoulder. "But I'm not here to make peace. We're here to raise hell. Isn't that right, brother?"

In response, Remus summoned a pitch black flamberge sword and stabbed the blade into the ground. "Hell yeah we are!"

The area of the floor that he smashed cracked open to reveal an eerie green and yellow glow. Small shadow hands emerged as little demons started crawling through the cracks.

Roman summoned a longsword with a ruby embedded in its hilt and slashed at the wall. Red and orange flames burst forth from the rip as even more shadow demons started to join them.

The glitching of the room from the tv screen grew at an alarming rate, some of the glitches covering entire pieces of furniture.

"What on earth is happening!?" Thomas screamed, gesturing wildly at, well, everything.

"Roman, you need to stop this now!" Virgil growled, slipping into his Tempest Tongue.

"Yeah kiddo," chuckled Patton nervously as he tried to wrestle his hoodie away from a demon that was currently trying to steal it. "Isn't this a tad bit extreme?"

Roman laughed darkly, raising his sword into a shrug. "And why should I?"

Remus rested his elbow on Roman's shoulder, "We haven't even begun to have our fun yet!"

Janus narrowed his eyes at Remus, "Remus, this is not what I meant when I said-"

"Blah blah blah!" Remus mimed a mouth with his hand. "That's all you are, anacon-don't. All talk, no action!"

"What's going on?! Why isn't anyone answering me?!"

"Well, Thomas, it appears that Roman and Remus have initiated-" Logan started only to get interrupted by Virgil.

"They started Daymare Mode!" Virgil shouted as he angrily threw a demon that had been crawling on him into the wall, knocking it out instantly.

"Daymare Mode? What's Daymare Mode?!"

"It's a combination of Daydream Mode and Nightmare Mode." Janus explained while shaking a demon off of his hat with a sneer, "It's a state Creativity can only achieve when it's whole…"

"So, what? They can affect the real world now that they're working together?!"

"Don't be ridiculous, Thomas." Chastised Logan, "You're technically just hallucinating-"

"I'm hallucinating?!"

"Yes, that is what I just said."

A demon tugged at Logan's pant leg only to be sent running away in fear by a well-placed harsh glare.

Patton, finally having gotten his hoodie free, tied it back around his shoulders and clapped his hands. "Okay, you two! That's enough. I'm not sure what's gotten into you today, but-"

"Oh no, no, no." Roman waved a finger at him, "I'm afraid we're not going to be listening to you anymore, padre."

"We've got our own plans, Daddy DingDong!"

"Oh yeah?" Hissed Janus, "And what exactly are those?"

"You can't do them, whatever they are!" Virgil yelled out as he stomped on another demon's tail, sending it hopping away in pain. "We won't let you. I won't let you!"

Remus and Roman exchanged amused glances before turning back to the others.

"You don't have to let us do anything," Roman hummed, "We're the kings. We shall do whatever we want." He waved a dismissive hand.

"Hear ye, Hear ye! The Twin Kings of Creativity!" Hollered Remus, as both twins raised their swords triumphantly in the air, "We take no shit and kick some ass!"

"To us!" Roman high fived Remus' hand, then turned to grin menacingly at the others, "And now, time for you to go to hell."

"To hell?!" Thomas gasped, looking desperately back and forth at the other sides.

Logan's eyes widened, having figured out what they were planning to do. "Roman, if I'm correct- and I always am- then I'd advise against-"

"Too late, Deuce Banner!" Remus shouted triumphantly as he and Roman clashed their weapons together. The sound from the clang resonated in all of their heads, making their vision blurry.

Thomas gripped the sides of his head, trying to get the ringing to stop hurting his ears. His head felt like it was splitting open. And then, there was nothing. Just a fade to black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thomas gasped for air as he woke up. Wait, woke up? Had it all been a dream? Thank god-!

"Well, well, well. It's about damn time." Drawled Roman.

"We thought you were never gonna come to!" Laughed Remus.

Thomas jumped up in surprise from where he'd been laying on the floor, only to immediately regret moving so harshly as he felt his head swim. "Ow ow ow." He gripped his forehead and peered around, "What-"

"Welcome, welcome!" Roman proclaimed as he spread his arms out in a grand gesture. "To the Kingdom of Creativity."

Thomas looked up to see Roman and Remus sitting side by side on twin thrones, one gold with red cushions and one silver with green cushions. Roman sat up straight with impeccable posture and one leg crossed over the other. Remus lay sideways across his throne, kicking his feet and tossing what appeared to be a grenade up and down as if it was a baseball.

"...What? Where am I?"

"We just told you." Scoffed Roman, "You're in the Kingdom of Creativity." At Thomas' confused frown, he continued, "You're in our room, Thomas."

"Your room?" Thomas looked around at the ornate throne room. "It doesn't look like my living room, like the others' did."

"That's cause we're not as boring as the other sides." Sighed Roman, "We have much more pizazz." He gestured at the room around them. "We did some redecorating recently, actually. What do you think, hmm?"

The throne room was mainly black, with silver and gold furniture giving the darkness a stark contrast. Banners of their two symbols hung on opposite sides of the room in correspondence with each side's throne. Overall it gave off a majestic yet eerie feel.

"It's- Um." Thomas finally stood up from his position on the floor and glanced around nervously. "It's certainly something. But um, where are the others…?"

He had long since noticed that it was just him and the twins in this room. The others had seemingly vanished into thin air. Their continued disappearance was making him more and more uneasy as each second ticked by.

Remus huffed and casually threw the grenade over his shoulder and out a window, causing an explosion to be heard outside. "What's wrong Thomathy, our room not up to snuff with the others? You prefer Daddyo's and Scene-Kid's rooms? Huh?"

"What? No!" Thomas raised his hands placatingly, not wanting to anger the two currently volatile sides, "You're room is fine! It's great! It's just they were here and now they're not here and I was just wondering-"

"They're off on their own adventure right now, Thomas." Roman butted in. He leaned forward to place his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands. "That doesn't matter, though. What matters right now is us. Don't you want to stay here with us, Thomas? We can show you around the castle~!"

"Um- No, that's fine... No thank you." Thomas smiled as his voice shook. "I'm sorry, I can't stay here... I need to find the others."

Roman's pleased smile immediately fell into a scowl, "Fine, then. You want to see the others so badly?" He stood up from his throne and gestured for his brother to do the same. "Then why don't you just join them already!"

The both summoned their new weapons again, causing Thomas to start to panic. "Wait! Don't! Not again!"

"Too late, Thomas. You should have accepted our gracious offer."

"We could've had so much fun together!" Chirped Remus.

"And we will! You're just not ready yet, it seems." Roman sighed with a disappointed frown, "Now, for the time being~"

"Have fun in hell instead!~" The twins chimed in unison as they clashed their swords together for a second time.

The clanging rang in Thomas' already aching head as everything fell into the blackness once more.

[felswritingfire]

Could you write some Macan relationship headcanons, please?

Fucking- I love Macan- he’s a whole ass boy

Contrary to what many people might think- Macan actually knows about the ins and outs of “dating” and by dating I mean the pursuit of getting a mate

He lived in the jungle and had a pseudo teacher, I’m more than positive that they explained, or at very least, mentioned sexual partners and the joy that they can bring

So, he has an idea of what attraction is 

Also there’s the fact of natural animal instinct (bitch be feral) 

He’s just never… thought of going through with it. Like sure, he debated with Nomad before, but he decided he liked the thought of him being more of a brother figure than an actual romantic interest, but he had never found anyone else worth going after in a relationship

That was until he met you

You honestly probably managed to gain his respect first by being able to keep up with him in a fight or he saw you fight with someone else and he was like, “Hey, I’m down to eat that person.”

And then you two began to get to know each other and soon enough he was like, “heart eyes, motherfucker” and that’s how your relationship blossomed

You’ll have to explain you concept of dating to him and he’ll work with it from there since his version, is- ah- much more primal

AKA: You two get it on and have like, a horde of (metaphorical or literal) little Macan’s running around

You gotta explain that you two have to build up to that  

And he’ll respect your explanation and try his best, but remember, he’s a rambunctious boi so you gotta be firm with him once in a while- other then that, he’s like a huge ass puppy (Haha) with you: always looking for your praise, touching you in anyway possible, always following you around- all that good stuff

Speaking of him touching you- he likes to randomly wrap his hands around your waist, doesn’t matter how much or how little pudge you have, he likes the way your waist curves when he squeezes. He also hyper fixates one the way your thighs fit in his hands (paws? ah-); he really likes to hold your hand in his and will often run his fingers over your knuckles

He loves giving surprise hugs- just hugs in general 

If you’re dating him, he’ll introduce you to Nomad if you don’t already know the guy- he always ends up slipping you some good food as thanks for keeping the big oaf busy 

Macan isn’t really a guy who’s masterful with words and usually shows his affection through his actions- he’ll get things when you ask him and he’ll actually listen to you when you’re talking, he’ll actually sit and just… bask in the presence with you

You have a strange way of calming him down and are one- if not- the only person who can get Macan to snap out of it when he goes into his berserk mode

His fear of hurting you is that strong

He’s pretty docile around you and honestly just wants to spend time with you

So he’s usually working out in some corner of the room while you do something else, that or he’ll do some push-ups and you’ll be sitting on his back (and no, it doesn’t matter how much you weigh, this boi can lift you- you see all that tittie? That ain’t no bitch tittie, he can lift anything if he puts his mind to it)

He’s really protective of you- like, uber protective- but he also has the state of mind that you’re a strong, independent person who can handle themselves. That doesn’t stop him from glowering at people from behind you though

Usually, if someone is trying to put the moves on you, he can just flash some teeth and give them a glare and they’ll be running with their tail between there legs (sometime literally); very rarely do you get the actually dumbasses who roll their eyes and keep pushing their luck- now that’s when Macan will really puff up and you have to keep him from actually killing someone because a) illegal and you’d prefer Macan not to go to jail and b) we don’t want to be traumatized by Macan legit ripping someone’s spine straight from their back 

His ideal date is literally wherever you want to go, he’d probs just mention going to a gym though because that’s one of the only things he ever thinks about, aside from you, so if you do end up taking him to the gym, he’ll be forever grateful to you and he’ll probably lick half of your face

Speaking of licking, this dude does not do kisses, he does licks- he doesn’t really see the point in kisses, they don’t really do anything except show affection and that’s it. Now with licks you get the best of both worlds: affection and baths- now that is what he is TALKING ABOUT

You’ll have to, honest to whatever holy deity you may or may not worship, have to work with him on that- otherwise he’ll just, randomly start grooming your hair in the middle of a conversation with one of your friends, ruining whatever work you’ve done on it 

The first time you explained french kissing to him, Macan grabbed your face with one hand and shoved his whole ass tongue down your throat and you almost threw up. You laugh about it now, but holy fuck you thought you were going to die because he let his tongue just sit in your mouth while he looked around the room

He just needs a lot of work in the kissing department is all

He likes to bite you as a way of marking you. It’s not even sexually- you could be just hugging and he’ll catch a sliver of your shoulder peeking out from the shirt you’re wearing and his eyes will do the cat thing where his pupils will blow wide and he’ll just- *nom*

He did this once in front of Nomad where he started nibbling on your cheek and he freaked the fuck out and ended up knocking out Macan in one hit because he thought that he was trying to eat you- it was actually really flattering, but you had to explain to him that: no, Macan isn’t trying to eat me (you hope). He’s just doing that weird Macan thing where he bites you to show affection-

Oh, if you thought that you would be sleeping by yourself once you got with him- YOU’D BE WRONG 

He likes to sneak into your bed and snuggle up to you. At first he tried to sleep on top of you, but quickly learned that he’s… a little too heavy to just be casually be sleeping on you- so instead he’ll rest his head on your chest and wrap his arms around your waist and drift to sleep listening to the sound of your heartbeat 

PLEASE PLAY WITH HIS HAIR- PLEASE

He loooooves when you style his hair- go crazy with it- he’ll show it off proudly, he don’t give a fuck. That bright ass pink bow with that rhinestone in the middle of it that you put in his hair??? Fucking flaunted. You decided to curl his hair? Bet you bitches are jealous, huh? You decided to put a flower crown on his head? THIS IS MY TRUE CROWN NOW, PEASANTS, MOVE THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY CLAUDE-

This guy just loves you a whoooole lot, my dude

(Please, someone ask for NSFW, I had to fight with myself to not add them because I wasn’t sure, but PLEASE I HAVE- I HAVE SOME IN MY NOGGIN, P LeA S E)

[nahimjustfeelingit-writes]

Imagine:

Erik walking in on the reader masturbating and she tries to cover herself with embarrassment

Bruce "Viper" Holmes. A notorious mobster and drug lord in Miami since the late 1980s. He had three older sons but one of them disowned his father and moved away to private property in the Virgin Islands with his wife and the other two were murdered. He has a daughter too, around 23 years old, a recent college graduate and her father's soft spot. She's a flower in the barrel of a gun. Calm his raging murderous storm. Bruce has her on a 24/7 watch with constant bodyguards. She really wanted to live on her own but they both knew that if she did, someone out there would try and kill her to get revenge for losing a loved one of their own because of Bruce. Then there is Killmonger. Bruce's personal hitman. He's been working with Bruce for years, a trusted partner who got the job done. Erik came and went whenever he had to pay a visit to Bruce. There was a new job that would earn him 1.8 million so Erik wasn't about to let that go. He showed up, dressed in all black and earning many scowls from Bruce's men. Erik could take out that entire room if he wanted to but Bruce paid him so well. Before he could step into his office, a girl opens the door, standing before Erik wearing a pair of tiny denim shorts, a fitted white crop top and her curly fro pulled up into a neat top knot bun. Erik took a cautious step back, fully admiring the girl from head to toe. Sexy as a motherfucker for sure. A little young but not too young.

"You must be Killmonger," She says with no regard. “How do you know who the fuck I am?”

“My father was saying something about you looking after me since my favorite bodyguard got shot and killed a week back. He told me to pick and I chose you.”

This didn’t sound like it involved earning 1.8 million dollars. This was a damn babysitting job. She was a grown-ass woman, not a kindergartner. 

“Is he in there?” Erik didn’t care that he sounded irritated. He came to put a few bullets in somebody not play house. 

“Yeah, he’s smoking his cigars,” His daughter looked at Erik very closely, an attitude on her face. Erik wanted to grab her little ass up and fix that face for her but this was his boss's daughter. He swallowed his pride, for now, giving her one final look before stepping into her father's office. 

Sure enough, the 1.8 million was for watching over Y/N for him while he left town for 48 hours. Bruce told him that he only trusted Erik to get the job done because he knew Erik could hold his own and do what he’s supposed to do better than his other men. Everything Bruce said was true but Erik could be earning his money in a more meaningful way. And by meaningful that means killing. But, Y/N’s safety is important and Erik wouldn’t be able to live with her death on his conscious. Bruce left that very night leaving Erik in his Miami estate alone minus the two guards who kept watch from the outside of the house. 

Erik made himself comfortable in a guest bedroom, staring angrily at his weapon bag that would not be put to use. A knock came to his room door, Erik getting up to open it. Y/N was the source of the knock. She had on a tight and short strapless body con dress colored baby blue with some rather scandalous heels on her feet and hair out in a cute curly fro. She was looking...real good. She had those titties all out, curves on display for any hungry nigga to hound her. Shit didn't make no sense how sexy Bruce's daughter was. Last time Erik had been with a woman was over three months ago

"I wanna go out." "Girl, I'm not taking your ass nowhere. Bruce said to keep you home since shit is popping off." She kissed her teeth, "So you mean to tell me, I got all dressed up for nothing?" Erik shrugs, "Ain't my problem, ma. I'm not tryna play hero and keep you safe in the middle of a shoot out. I need you as far away from that shit as possible." She was really pissed off with Erik. Her pretty round face was all scrunched up, arms folded and a pout on her lips. "I really thought you would be the chill one out of all my dad's old ass bodyguards but nope you're the same. Just as boring and annoying." She had a lot of mouth on her. Erik narrows his eyes at her, nostrils flared and lips set in a hard line. Y/N stepped off a bit, swallowing spit. "You better watch that pretty little mouth of yours before I fuck it." Y/N's jaw was on the floor. She was stunned. Y/N could not believe that Erik just said that to her. He couldn't believe it either but it was in Erik's character to say some shit like that to mouthy little bitches. He had a habit of degrading them by fucking their mouths until they gagged. Bruce's daughter may have an attitude but she wasn't used to that kind of treatment, Erik could tell. She probably got a tight as fuck pussy on her too, fuck that shit and feel like you're in some virgin pussy again.

Holy Shit. He was thinking about her pussy. These 48 hours are going to be hard.

"Is this how you talk to all the women you sleep with?" She was curious, leaning in closer to him. She had no respect for Erik's space now. "Don't worry about it. Just go back to your room, take this shit off, and relax, ma. You ain't going nowhere." "Wow," she rolls her eyes, "Remind me to never recommend you to be my new bodyguard again." "You're loss," he gave her a teasing smile. She glared at him, marching away from his door and back to her room. Erik couldn't help but stare at the bounce of her hips. She was very sexy and Bruce wasn't around to reprimand him for checking out his precious daughter.

Back in her room, making sure to slam the double doors shut and kick it for good measure, Y/N marched over to her bed like the brat she is, flopping down on the plush mattress covered in velvet bedding. Her phone was going off the hook too. Her girls were probably wondering where the fuck she was since she told them her bodyguard would be taking her out. Oh well, those plans were over. "Bitch ass, nigga," she complained to herself. Y/N was hoping to get some dick tonight too. An old college friend of hers that her father didn't really approve of but Y/N wanted a piece of was gonna be at that party. Ever since she graduated she hadn't had any dick. That was over a year ago. Her father was really strict with everything she did. Y/N appreciated it because she didn't want to end up like her brothers but at the same time, she wanted freedom. That's why she chose Killmonger. He was younger than her father's other henchmen, Wild from the talks she heard about him when she was being nosy, and he was sexy as fuck. She really thought about flashing him her titties to change his mind but he looked like a no-nonsense type so Y/N didn't try and taunt him. Although, he did taunt her.

Watch that pretty little mouth of yours before I fuck it.

Something stirred within her. The inner freak that had been locked away for so damn long. So he washed bitches mouths out with the dick? Disrespectful bitches got a dick in their mouths, huh? She liked that. She liked that a lot. He was so large compared to her. Definitely a Daddy for sure. Y/N would call Killmonger Daddy while he fucked her tight pussy. She just knew he had a big dick. None of the condoms she had would fit him. He'd have to pull out when he was about to cum.

If the condoms can't fit him, will his dick fit in me?

She couldn't help but let that thought cross her mind. Look at Y/N, thinking about fucking her dad's hitman. He was a murderer. Any other chick would be scared but Y/N... she wasn't a scaredy-cat at all. She'd be a big girl and fuck Killmonger. Killer and all. She wanted to see his guns...big guns plus a big dick would surely have Y/N on her knees or giving up the pussy.

"Fuck, I can't believe myself." She laughs, running her fingers over her heated flesh. Lord, she was horny now and ready to cum. Y/N lifts her dress up, body arched over the edge of the bed. She picks up a mirror from her side table that she used earlier to check her makeup, aiming it at her pussy from the back. She takes her other hand, pulling her panties down to see just how much of a mess she created from thinking about Killmonger. Sure enough, when she used her thumb to pull her panties to the side, a long string of nectar was connected to her panties from her phat pussy lips. She took in a sharp breath before releasing it longingly. Her pussy was so damn phat and wet right now thinking about him. "Killmonger, look what you did to me," she was so fucking horny. Y/N takes her fingers, pulling her lips apart, watching all that pink she has pop out and contrast beautifully against the brown of her outer lips. She tweaked her clit, a shiver running down her spine. Y/N starts popping her ass, watching all that slimy wet connect like her own personal glue to her pussy lips and her fingers. She'd never been this damn wet in her life. "Fuck," she moans, lifting up onto her knees to remove her dress. Fuck this shit, she needed to play with herself. Fully naked, Y/N gets off the bed, practically skipping over to her walk-in closet to retrieve her favorite pink dildo. This called for a squirt or two...maybe three. Just the thought of him being in a room down the hall probably wearing nothing right now or cleaning his guns made her shudder. She found her baby, kissing it before walking back to her bed. She grabbed her MacBook, a porn tab already up from the last video she watched. Y/N liked to watch black women masturbate, making themselves cream and squirt. She needed a video of a woman with a whole lot of ass getting drilled from behind this time around. She found her favorite, noticing the butt plug that the woman had and wishing she had one too. She likes anal.

Erik was freshly showered and dressed in a pair of black linen lounge pants that rested low on his hips. He did a lazy towel job on his body, water still dripping down the middle of his spine and on his chest. He was doing exactly what Y/N guessed; cleaning his guns. His favorite gun; a personalized Smith & Wesson. He still had a little blood around the barrel from his last job back in Germany. Unable to help himself, Erik kept thinking about Y/N and how he deprived her of going out. She was definitely grown and here he was making decisions for her like she was his daughter. He really didn't need the girl to go complaining to her father about Erik, making some shit up to mess up his money flow. Tossing his gun down, Erik looked up at himself in the mirror, his mind in a turmoil. With a risky decision, he decided to leave and go talk to the girl. Hopefully, turn the conversation around so that she could see his point of view. He left his room, walking within the dark hall of the estate to what he guessed was Y/N's room. It wasn't hard to find, her room was the only room with a glow of light coming from it. His footsteps were silent against the plush carpet as he finally stood face to face with the double doors to her bedroom suite. Erik places his fist into the open palm of his other hand, shifting on his bare feet to gather himself before knocking. Before he could, a wail came from her room. He froze, straining his ears to hear the sound again. Sure enough, the sound came back again, only this time, louder. Shit, if he was in his room, he'd probably hear it. Throwing caution to the wind, Erik grabs both handles, opening the door to see if she was okay. After all, he was ordered to protect her. The second he entered that room he wished he hadn't. Maybe he was lying to himself but the sheer embarrassment on Y/N's face made him feel guilty and ready to run from the estate altogether. Facedown, ass up, Y/N was thrusting a dildo into her pussy from the back while rubbing her clit. She was moaning and crying from how good her pussy felt before Erik disrupted her playtime. Her MacBook was opened, a compilation video of ebony women squirting and cumming all over the place. The cum loads from these women alone were massive and it stole Erik's attention for sure. He would buss a nut to the shit too. He even heard Killmonger roll off her tongue before she noticed him. Y/N's body rolled off of the bed, charging towards Erik with wide eyes before shoving his heavy body out of her room, slamming her doors shut. The sound echoed down the hall. Erik stood there, staring at those damn doors with shock. His mouth was hanging open, mind unable to unsee what he just saw. Erik heard silence now on the other side of the door, his hand coming up to knock softly. "Y/N, you decent now?" He asked. "Go awayyyyyyy Killmonger!" She sounded like she was crying. Damn, he embarrassed the hell out of her for opening those doors. "Don't you know how to fucking knock?!" "Yeah, I just thought some shit was happening to you...not...this..." "Wow," she was sniffling, "something was about to happen to me until you showed up!" She groaned loudly, probably yanking her hair too. "This is definitely not happening to me right now." Erik wanted to comfort her, reassure her that he was absolutely sorry for barging into her private moment like that. He wanted to say that to her but the slyness inside of him was happy he saw what he saw. She was a little freak. Cumming to other bitches cumming. He wanted to know what else she watched. If only she wasn't embarrassed and asked him to come and join her he would find out for himself while his dick was deep in that pussy. Speaking of pussy she had a nice phat wet puss. Her pussy creamed all over that neon pink dildo that she was thrusting in and out of that twat. He turned his back on the door, struggling if he should stay or go. Fuck, he really wanted to stay and finish what he messed up. He'd give anything to see that little pussy cum. His dick was bobbing up and down in his linen pants. Erik looked down at his crotch within the darkness, lips all poked out and eyes low while he stared at his dick twitching and knocking against the crotch of his pants. That monster wanted to be freed. He placed his face against the door, talking into the crack of the door so she could hear him clearly. "Y/N, please open up, I'm sorry, ma." He tried to sound as sincere as possible to get her to open those doors. His dick was even pressing into the door. The hard surface was the perfect amount of texture on his dick right now. "Erik lets out a soft sigh, "please?" "For what? So you can laugh at me? I don't think so. Go back to your room, asshole." "I said I didn't mean to, how many times do you want me to tell you I'm sorry?!" He was growing angry. His dick was too. He was hard as steel now. "Fuck your sorry. I am so fucking embarrassed right now." "Just open the goddamn door, shit." His begging finally worked. She flung her doors opened, body wrapped in a robe now and hair pulled up into a bun, she had her arms crossed over her chest and a scowl on her face but she could not look into his eyes. He understands she was in a very very open position. Erik didn't like the change but she was still sexy no matter what. He hoped that she would have opened the door naked. "What the fuck is it?" "Watch your mouth talking to me," Erik fires back. "I'll talk to you however I please. My dad is paying you so that means you listen to what I say." She was looking at him now but her voice was shaky. She was so nervous and still very embarrassed. "See, your dad is paying me. Not you. And you listen to what I say, Y/N. I see you ain't leave this fucking house." "Watch I put my dress and heels on and leave right now." "I fucking dare you to try me," Erik was sizing her up now, his body bumping into hers, pushing her further into the room. He was inside again, the sweet smell of her sex around him. She must have been in here cumming back to back. Erik let his eyes linger on the bed. Sure enough, there was a large ass wet spot in the center. "Damn, you did all that?" He couldn't stop himself even if he tried. Y/N covered her face, walking away to use the velvet bedding to hide her mess. "Nah, ain't no shame in that, ma, let it show." She was growing hot again. Her pussy was begging to cum, she was right...there. And in comes this big nigga.

Damn...he actually came in my room

She wanted to rip that robe off and stuff her fingers in her pussy.

"What's wrong now, Y/N?" "You. It's your fault. Just get the fuck out." "So you can moan my name again?" She turns to him slowly, taking him in fully now since he wasn't in that dark hall anymore. His thick dick was standing straight out at her with no regard. Muscles carved into his lean body, tiny raised scars all over him symmetrical. He didn't even hide how horny he was. She was correct, her condoms would not fit around that dick. He would break them bitches before she could even get it down and around him. His big dick ass had her sucking on her bottom lip now to control herself. That inner freak was ready to pounce. "Y/N." Erik was walking up on her now, his dick pressed into her ass. "Shit," she sounds out, looking at him over her shoulder with a roll of her eyes. "You tryna get me in trouble?" He spoke in a low tone. "No. You won't anyway. All surveillance is off in the house except for outside." "Hmm," Erik looked down on her ass cheeks. His dick was in between both of them. "Now why would you do that?" "Because I can." "Because you can," Erik repeated her words. "It's my fucking house." "See...I like you." She was dying to hear those words. At this point, there was no turning back. He was in her bedroom now with his dick between her cheeks. This shit was totally off-limits. "You ain't scared of me?" The touch he gave to her chin made her booty arch into his crotch further. "No. I ain't scared of men like you." "Oh, Forreal?" He was smiling down at her with this glint in his eyes. "I see men like you every day in my house. What makes you any different?" He laughs, "Because I'm not like these men that walk around your father's house. I'm Killmonger, there's a difference. You should know, you chose me, right?" He had a good point. Y/N could tell from jump that he was nothing like the other men. "Yeah, I could see that." "So then ima ask your ass again, you ain't scared of me?" She shakes her head no. "Open your fucking mouth." "NO." She let him know real quick. Erik presses his lips to her ear, "You definitely ain't going nowhere since you so brave, babygirl." What exactly was he referring to? Was he gonna fuck her so good that she would need her meals brought to her bed? "Where's that dildo?" He asked with his eyes still on her. Y/N pointed to the bed, Erik noticing it on her laptop keyboard. "Pick it up." She did, holding it around the fake silicone balls since the rest was so wet and covered in her cream. That fake dick was drenched in her essence. "Suck it off." She gave him a look to challenge his words but Erik gave her a much harder look that had her flinching and popping that dick in her mouth. He watched her suck it, her jaws all sunken in and the cream disappearing. "So that's what that mouth do?" She even licked the balls to catch the bit that spilled there. "How you fuck that pussy?" "With my legs wide open, from the back, and I rode it." "Shit, how you ride it? You did that shit on your tiptoes?" "Yeah, I stuck the suction on that chair right there." Erik looked over in the corner to find an acrylic glitter desk chair. "Bruce little girl is a freak," Erik laughs, "Bought to let her bodyguard hit." "I-you wanna fuck me?" She thought he wanted to fuck her with the dildo, the only dick her pussy really knew not his monstrous dick. "Only if you want me to." "Please." Fuck that dildo. Y/N tossed it back onto the bed, taking off her robe with the quickness. Erik raises both of his brows at that, loving how ready she is to take some dick. She stood before him, nude once again. A nice curvy body with smooth brown skin. Mouthwatering for sure. "Put on another video you like to watch, I wanna see." Y/N went to lay on her belly, ass up and bouncing for Erik to see. He removed his pants, his dick leaking with pre-cum and sticking to his leg. He watched her pull up a video of a sexy couple. The man was eating her pussy, slobbering on that shit. The loud munching sounds had Erik grunting and reaching out to smack Y/N's ass hard. She looked back at him, making her ass shake so he can do it again. Erik gave her what she wanted with his large calloused hands. He was definitely an experienced man for sure. "Get on your back, I'm eating that pussy." She flips over, opening her legs to show Erik all the creamy goodness that spilled from her. She was a goddamn mess down there. He got down between her legs, angling the laptop so he could watch it with her while he ate her pussy. As soon as the man in the video started sucking on his girl's clit, Erik did the same to Y/N. She was so overwhelmed by it that her thighs kept trying to close. Erik took her calves, thrusting them forward so that her toes touched the bed and her pussy and ass were open for him. He went to work on her little ass, his eyes looking from her to that screen. Whenever the guy in the video sucked, Erik sucked. Whenever he French kisses her all over the inside, Erik did too. She was so sloppy on his mouth. Erik was so happy to be eating pussy again that he didn't say a damn word. The only sounds he made were munching, smacking of lips, tongue flicking, and popping of his mouth off her clit and inner folds. Y/N was having a fit. She was trying to watch the action on the laptop but Erik kept pulling her away. He was devouring her slit. Just when she thought she couldn't take anymore he had his fingers thrusting inside of her pussy while sucking on her clit. Three of those fingers. Her eyes rolled, head bobbing back and forth. She had no feeling in her legs left from how big she came on Erik's fingers and tongue. She trembled and trembled. But yet he was still going. "That's enough, Killmonger," she let out a sharp moan. "Stop!!" Before she could push his head away she was squirting. She covered his chest and the bed with all her mess. He pulled his fingers out before sucking on them with his long slippery tongue. Now, he was on his feet, kneeling on the bed. He had one hand around his dick while the other rested over his nuts. "Pull up a dick sucking video." "You do it." She tells him while still trying to recover from the atomic bomb head she just received. Erik leans over her, the smell of the soap he used on his skin surrounding her and causing her to kiss his neck. He didn't complain about that so she continued. Erik pulled up a favorite of his. One where the girl was talking into the camera, begging the nigga to cum on her face. This always had Erik busting a huge nut. "Bring your mouthy ass over here and suck my dick." He ordered. Y/N timidly grabs his dick, jerking it slowly to get a feel of the weight on him. This shit must drag when he walked. "I know it's a lot but you can take it." She kissed the tip of his dick before looking up at him to see if he liked it. "Keep going, I ain't tell you to stop." She wrapped her lips around the tip of his dick now. She sucked softly, little moans coming from her mouth at the same time. "You should see how that little mouth looking right now. You can't even fit me in there." She tried to challenge his words, lowering herself further down his dick. She could only make it to half the dick. Even that was too much for her. "It's okay...relax, ma. Take your time with it." She did her thing, tight pouty lips gliding over him all delicate. He was enjoying the soft way she sucked his pipe. Her spit bubbles around him dripping to her chest caused Erik to grab her curly bun. He started thrusting his hips, Y/N looking up at him with fearful eyes. "Relax, I got you, sweetie," she reached out to stop his hips from moving forward, "I promise I won't go too rough, I promise." She still held her hands on his hips but her mouth relaxed around Erik, allowing him to fuck her mouth at a pace she could tolerate. The sound of her spit building on her tongue and Erik's dick hitting her throat was music. She squeezed her eyes because he got a little too happy, her throat tightening around him. "FUCK, I ain't mean to I swear," He spoke in a hushed tone. He was so damn close to cumming in this girl's mouth. Her tight mouth. "Damn, your lips so tight." His eyes fluttered. She felt like the side of her lips would split in half from how thick he was becoming. She tried to open up wider but there was no use. Y/N breathed through her nose, allowing Erik to finish off. He was a challenge for her. "Shit-shit-take it, take all this dick!" The minute his cum hit her throat she gagged, Erik holding her in place so he could finish out within her mouth. He pulled out, his dick bouncing in her face and the last bits of his cum shooting onto her cheek. She looked so shocked at his action. Her fingers went up to scoop it up and into her mouth. "You are such a big girl. Did so well for Daddy." "You cum a lot, Killmonger." "You like that, don't you?" "Yes." Erik bit his lip, "get on your back, ima fuck the shit outta you." Y/N got onto her back but she didn't want it like that. She wanted him to fuck her from the back. She wanted to see how it felt taking his generous dick with her ass in the air. "What's wrong now Y/N," Erik spoke with annoyance. "I want you to fuck me from the back." "...see, I don't know if you can take it like that yet, ma. You'll feel me in your stomach if I do that." "So," Y/N turned around, arching her back, reaching behind her to pull her pussy lips apart. "Is it still too much?" She teased. This was how she imagined Erik would fuck her when he walked in. He might as well take her pussy like this. "Shit ain't too much for me, this dick gonna be too much for you. But since you such a hard-headed bitch Ima give you what you want." Erik fixes her arch. She thought she was positioned the right way. Nope, Erik needs her face and shoulders pressed into the bed with her ass angled all the way up to where Erik could have a deeper thrust. She looked back at him, nibbling on her fingers to calm herself. "You looking real nervous for a chick who ain't afraid." Erik beat his dick on her clit. "I'm not afraid." She spoke softly. Erik didn't have anything more to say to her. He grabs his dick, bringing it to her velvety hole and sinking it right in. He didn't give Y/N time to think. He was all the way inside of her. Erik got in her pussy in one clean motion. She had her eyes closed briefly before opening them to show Erik how watery they were. She thugged it out and Erik was impressed, for now. He was frozen, his dick still buried. "Y/N." "I'm good," she was ready. "Bet." Erik pulled out to the tip of his dick, his eyes watching the muscles in her back flex. She was spread wide for him. He thrust back in swiftly, his balls hitting her clit. That sensation had Y/N whispering something into the crease of her arm. Probably saying how good and thick his dick is. "Faster," she begged. Erik built up speed, her ass making that sound he loved whenever he fucked bitches from the back. She was clapping all over him. Y/N felt it in her belly. It was something she couldn't really feel with her dildo. "OhmyGod!" She screams. Her hands reached out in front of her to grab hold of the cum stained sheets, balling it up with her fists. Erik was beating the breaks off her pussy at this point. He would grunt and moan real low but Y/N could hear it. "Killmonger, you're stretching me!" He slowed down, before picking up the pace some more. The shit was amazing. She was wrapped around his dick perfectly. "You gonna make me bust early in this pussy, girl! look at this pussy, loving all this dick I'm giving her!" She likes that he referred to her pussy as "her" it made her attempt to throw it back on him but her hips were so weak. "OhmiiGod you're so big!" She cried. Erik gave Y/N a thunderous slap to her ass before grabbing her shoulders to pound into her some more. Her head fell forward, moans and groans stuck in her throat. "I got you arched over this dick, girl," she tried to move but Erik was right there with her, "Stop it, ma. You were doing so well. Daddy was proud of you for taking this dick." "It's just so deep." "I told you, didn't I? It's too late now I like fucking you like this." She was in his control. Y/N's pussy leaked so much on his dick she couldn't keep count. It was so sensitive to his long and fat dick. It's because he's so big and she's so tight. "Fuck, you're tearing my pussy up!" Erik pulls out, Y/N's juices following right behind him and onto the bed. She flips over, bringing her legs up for Erik to grab. "You don't waste no time," He says in a teasing manner. Erik takes her calves again, stretching them all the way back so her toes could touch the bed. "Such a nasty girl with this pussy spread open for me." His dick was inside of her again. She watched with pure bliss to the point of tears. He was doing push-ups in her pussy. Erik moves his hips in a circular motion creating a new sensation inside of her that had Y/N's toes curling. "Wet pussy, I fucking love it." "Yes!" She had her hands on Erik's hips, pulling him further inside of her like he wasn't already deep. "Shit," He looked down at her, "grab my nuts, squeeze them." She did, squeezing and massaging them. Erik was no more good. "Now you're squeezing my dick and nuts. Getting all of me tonight, huh?" "Fuck yeah." "You gonna let me cum all over this pussy?" "Yes, Daddy." "You gonna let me cum all over this good pussy?" "Yes, Daddy." "You fucking better!-shit, mmhmm Ima give you what you want, fuck, girl you got me cumming!" Erik shot thick ropes of cum onto Y/N's phat pussy lips. Y/N reached between them to stroke him, more cum shooting out and onto her belly. The feeling was too much. This girl was covered in his cum. Pussy looking like a cream pie. Y/N rubbed it between her folds before taking her fingers to suck on. "Can you stay the night with me?" She asked between sucking. Erik gave her a sly smile before shaking his head, "I don't think so, ma. I already fucked up coming in here. Thank God you disabled the surveillance in the house. I ain't tryna die because I fucked my boss's daughter." "Please?" "Only until you fall asleep." "Fine." Erik puts his pants on, watching Y/N get up from the bed to change her sheets. "Ima go check my phone to see if your dad tried to get in contact with me." "Okay," Y/N watched Erik leave the room and down the dark hall. She wanted to squeal, jump for joy, dance, anything to express her excitement. That was the most memorable sex she's ever had. It's sad that it had to be because of this sticky situation but she didn't regret it all. Now she didn't want her father to return home for a while. If she could get some dick from Killmonger she'd be more than happy. Fuck spending time with her friends, there was an entire estate for her and Erik to have fun in. She placed her sheets in a hamper before returning with fresh ones. Erik was back in her room now, closing the door. "I had a talk with your Father." Y/N's heart sank, Erik laughing at her expression. "You gotta learn to relax, Y/N. All he said was that his trip is gonna have to be extended another six days." "Six days?!" She closed her eyes, Erik laughing at her excitement. "Yeah, some shit about business running slower than usual. Plus, he had to off a few lousy men so he might come home short two henchmen." "So, what does that mean for you?" "That means I'm 2 million dollars richer." "You're still gonna watch over me?" Erik couldn't help but give Y/N his lady killer smile. She blushes, turning to put on her robe. "Yeah, you don't plan on telling Bruce that you don't like me as a bodyguard, right?" "I only said that because you didn't let me go out!" Y/N argued back. "But now you want me around," Erik licks his lips, "I gave you some dick now you want me to stay." He didn't have to put it like that but it was halfway true. Y/N wasn't going to say anything to Bruce about Killmonger. "Killmonger, you have good dick, okay? Now, stay the night with me, please?" She gave him her best pout and innocent eyes. "You are really gonna get me in trouble."

@tgigoldie @soufcakmistress @chefjessypooh @chaneajoyyy @pananegra@theblulife @becincere @blaqwidow91 @fish-outta-watah @moonlight-night-sky @eyeknowmywrites  @crowngold @njadakillthiscookie @blktinkerbell@luvanxi @sheisexcellent1 @chocolatedippedinhoney  @brandithecrystalgem@dababydababydababydababy @soulfulbeauty19 @btitannaaa@sunkissedebony97 @youngblackndgifted @harleycativy @rbhp @thee-germanpeach @thadelightfulone @bugngiz @palmstreesallday@skylahb @bakaris-shorty @nizzle-mo​ 

[rebelcap]

We are not just friends —Part 7

Chris Evans x bi!latina!character (Sofia is a people of color, she's brown.)

Chris and Sofia meet when their best friends started dating, it all started at friends with loads of bumps on the road.  

Warnings: drinking, smoking, drug use (weed), assault, Chris being Steve Rogers, commitment issues, my girl Sofia kinda messy, lots of fucking (eventually) 

This is slow burn at its best, at least emotionally. 

Series masterlist

Part 1 — Part 2 — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5 — Part 6

This part contains smut ahead.

Chris was pacing on the hotel room, possible scenarios running on his head about what will happen with Sofia. He was… nervous.

“Why are you pacing like an old man?” Sofía asked him as Chris took a step backward, surprised.

“I always forgot you're so goddamn sneaky. Jesus Christ.” He put a hand on his chest and sigh, Sofía laughed taking off her backpack and hoodie.

“I'm sorry.”

“Yeah, I'm sure your sorry.” He smiled, knowing the pleasure she had on doing this on everyone. Sofía laughed as she grabbed the menu beside the tv.

“Don't know about you, but I'm kinda hungry.” She was looking at the menu that disappeared from her hands as Chris take it and put it back. She just kept looking at the empty space.

“Sofia,” Chris scold her as she puckers her lips, playing dumb and Chris laugh. “You don't make this easy.” He rubs his face and now she laughed.

“Okay, okay—” She took a deep breath. “Let's just get over with. I kissed you, pretty much I was ready to—you know, that. Thoughts?”

Chris stared at her and they started laughing again.

“Well, I kissed you back and I already told you that I wanted to do that since I meet you. thoughts?” He played along.

“Okay, being honest to… I kinda wanted it too.” She scratches the back of her neck. “Alright, now what's next?”

“I still want you.”

Sofía stare at him, some part of her didn't believe it—he's too good, he's… Chris. He's freaking hot as hell—he's. Are you stupid Sofia? Jump his fucking bo—

“Me too.” She frowns taking a step forward and kissed him, Chris waste no time and grabbed her by the back of her thighs and wraps her legs around his waist, walking towards the bed, and laid them on them, softly. Chris was grinding against her as they kissed, Sofía was pulling on his sweater until he obliged and take it off.

"Jesus fuck Chris," She looked down at his chest, abs—he was an actual Adonis, Dorito Adonis. "You have amazing tities." Sofia cupped them and Chris laughed, he laughed out loud distracting him from the task on hand.

"You're such an idiot," He pressed his lips as she smiles. "God, I adore you." Chris smile as he kept kissing her, his hands started

"You're a dork," He smiled and kissed her, lips pressing down on her as she meets him with the same passion. Sofia felt like her whole body was electrified, finally, the year-long tension pent up, it makes everything so intense.

Chris took charge as she kicked her legs out and grabbed his face to kiss him deeply. "Take it off," She murmured referring to her clothes. Chris let her go and first took off his own shirt with a swift move.

"Fuck," Sofia bit her bottom lip looking at his body, the orange light from the lamp just gives him that soft glow. He's fucking perfect.

He unbuttons her jeans and pulled them down including the panties and started running her lips on her calves and went down to kiss her once again, his hands went straight under her shirt and pulled it off and as soon it was discarded his mouth went to her breast, sucking them off.

"That piercing is so fucking sexy," He said leaping at the little silver as Sofia just shudder, she was a weak bitch for a good titty kissing. He pulled the cups of her bra up and grab them both to press her into his face.

Sofía was watching him, lip caught between her teeth and running her hands through his hair. Chris looked up as he kept kissing down, she nods at his question.

He runs his nose down her stomach and kissed her in es thighs, Sofia closed her eyes and gasp as soon his tongue lapped on her pussy, his beard felt so good against her.

Chris wrapped his arms around her legs to keep her in place as she started to move, moans escaping her lips.

She could feel every lick, every little caress of his beard, his hands pressing down on her flesh.

"Jesus Christ," She moaned, getting a hold of the sheet as he kept building up—taking his time, flicking her clit faster when she moved. "Fuck, fuck" She moaned feeling that builds upon her belly. "Don't you fucking stop," Sofia panted as Chris sucked faster.

Chris pulled his hands and grabbed her ass, burying his face in her pussy.

"You wanna cum?," He asked looking at her face as she trembles with pleasure.

"Fuck, yes,"

"Yeah, baby? all over my face?" He practically grunted as he buried his face again.

"Please," She grabbed his hair and he groaned. "Chris," her moans got louder and suddenly she went silent as her body started shaking, extending to her legs. "Oh my fucking god,"

Chris chuckles as she breathes heavily pushing him away.

"You okay, baby?"

"Yeah, just," She breathed and smile. "that was fucking intense, you eat pussy like a lesbian." She rubbed her face and chuckle, still riding out her orgasm.

Chris lean on again and started kissing her again and Sofia wrapped her legs around his waist, with one hand he undoes his jeans and started pulling them down and Sofia grabbed his dick and he gasps, he was hard and she had to peak down.

"Well, fuck," She blinked and then looked at Chris.

"What is it?"

"I just haven't had like, dick like for two years and you're big as fuck." She pointed out and Chris sat down on his heels.

"Hey, we don't need to do anything if you're not–"

"No fucking way, you're fucking me." She pulled her on her again and Chris laughed.

"Just, hold on," He said grabbing his pants again and pulled out a condom, he slides it on his shaft and grabbed her legs and position himself on her entrance and slide a bit. She nod as Chris looked at her. "Fuck, you're so fucking beautiful like this,"

"Yeah?" She asked gasping when feel Chris bottoming her. "So good."

"Yes, baby. Fuckjbg gorgeous," He kissed her and asked her, with his lips on her. "You good?"

"Move," Sofia bit her lip as he started moving and she felt the tightening on her stomach, she was cumming again. Chris thrust speed up as he fucked her through her orgasm.

Sofía was in a literal paradise, how the fuck she doubted for a second there was beyond her now, this is the only men that had her cumming and cumming all over again. He was relentless and sweet.

His thrusts became a little sloppy as he was about to finish.

"Harder," She murmured as Chris kept kissing her neck. His skin was flushed his face red as he was cumming, grunting, and grabbing her legs with force as he piston inside of her.

Holy shit.

He collapsed on top of her, breathing heavily as she wraps herself around him. He kissed her, slow, looked at her, and push her hair off her face.

"Hi," She smiles biting her lip.

"Hey," Chris smiles still caressing her face. "Come here," He kissed her again.

Chris woke up to an empty bed, the sun pouring through the white curtains and no sign of Sofia. He rubbed his eyes and sat down on the bed and let out a tentative. “Sof?” but, no answer. He grabbed his phone and there was a text from her.

I had left super early, we went to some warehouses trying to find a place to the brewery, I didn't wake you cause you look too damn cute.😚

Chris snort and quickly answered her back as he leans on the headboard.

You should have, so I could kiss you goodbye. I better head back home to feed Dodger, imma see you today?

You're so fucking corny, Christopher. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I guess. Don't know when I'm going to be free thought, I'm swimming on papers right now. I'll let you know

You like it corny, baby.😚 Alright, Hon. Is there anything I can do?

If you can convince Ron to hire another person to help us here—I'll gladly let you fuck me in the ass.

If that ain't an incentive, gimme Ron's number.

Boy, if you pull this off. I'll buy the lube myself—I'm ready. Cause he's a cheap fuck.

He laughs again and called the number she attached to the text, Ron quickly picked up.

Sofía didn't expect him to actually call her boss, right here right now. Ron was pacing on the parking lot of the diner they went in, kept glancing at her.

Get that 🍑 ready for tonight.

Ron walked back inside and sat down in front of her.

“Is really Captain America your friend?’

‘Chris? yeah.’ Sofia answered. ‘He really likes your beer—

‘Yeah, he said that—wanted to work with us as long we always send them a beer as to hire you an assistant.”

“Yeah, that sounds like Chris.” She laughed. “You know how expensive Chris is? you could easily hire like an assistant and a lawyer for all the permit shit the city of Los Angeles are marking our lives a living inferno.”

“Yeah, yeah—you're right,” He said grabbing some papers from the table. “I gotta go back to Boston, we need to close this deal as soon as possible. Can you manage here? hire the help you need.”

“Ah, yes. yes sure.” She couldn't help but smile, Ron stubble around and put some money on the table and then walked off but two steps in he turned around and pointed a finger at Sofía making her raise her brows.

“I'm giving you a raise.”

“Really?”

“You kidding? least I can do after this—my kid is going to flip out…” He said now and actually walked away, what she didn't count on was that she was stranded on here now.

“Great.” She said looking at the rental car speeding away.

So, it worked. You pulled it off, dude.

Don't you know who I am?

I didn't peg you like the name-dropper, Evans. You doing anything? Ron left me kinda stranded here.

For you I am. I'll pick you up, where you are?

Sofía texted him the address and kept working on those papers until Chris arrived. Even that her mind keeps replaying last night events—couldn't believe they actually did it and it was better than both expected.

“Hi, gorgeous.” Chris suddenly appeared to kiss her fully on the lips. Sofía was taken aback as she looked around the dinner. No one seems to give a shit.

“Hey,” She laughs as he seated himself on the seat in front of her. “Did you feed the little beast?”

“Yeah, he shit on the house—my bad, for leaving him alone last night but he did it on the bathroom.” He said.

“Aww, he tried,” Sofía put a hand on her chest. “He's such a good boy, you're very lucky.”

“Yeah, he's so precious and sleeps on my pillow and uses everyone as pillows.” He said, bashing smile as he speaks of Dodge.

“Its the perfect dog for you, since you're a Labrador.” She laughs picking up the papers from the table.

“A labrador?” He laughed.

“Yes, we had this conversation with Mandy that we compared every one with dogs—we were like super high on edibles.” She chuckles. “And she's a puddle and I'm a chihuahua, Luke's a Doberman and you're a Labrador.”

“You as a chihuahua is accurate.” He agreed.

“I know, I bite.” She winks at him and Chris bit his lip. “Ready to go?”

~~~

Thanks everyone, sorry for the delay!

Hope you guys liked it!

Tag list:

@letsdothemonstermash

@lunaticbarnes

@firstangeldragonranch

@lovepeacefood

@thegirlwithpaperheart

[bunnymossmakes]

Woo Your Woman [WIP]

[Sharky Boshaw x Francine “Franny” Mayhew]

Rated T for Language and Sexual Content

-

If there's two things Sharky Boshaw knows like the back of his hand, it's how to start a fire, and how to woo a woman.

Okay, there’s one thing he knows, it's arson. Fire enthusiasm.

But the wooing women part, well. There's some learnin' to do. Specially with that hot-shot Rook out there snatching up all the fine ladies of Hope County. And really, who wants to bang a catch like him when there's a fuckin' cop with loose morals storming around blowing up Peggies like the fourth of July? Used to be he and Hurk could at least catch a wink or a kiss, if not the occasional drunken bathroom blowjob.

And god damnit if he ain't gonna shoot his shot for precisely the latter, from that blonde badger-looking broad across the bar.

“Well honestly I was thinkin' about maybe goin' down to the river by my mama's place and catchin' frogs again after dark, if yer feelin' up to it,” Hurk elbows him just hard enough to bring his bleary-eyed focus over to his cousin, “you wanna maybe pick up some beers and call the Dep and-“

“Man fuck po-po, okay? Well actually don’t, that'd be weird, he's like. Your business partner, man,” Sharky interrupts, tugging on the bill of his cap, “just… sorry cuz. I'm trynna get laid and Rook's gettin' all the bitches. He's got asses bouncing at him left and right and I just wanna see what that girl over there tastes like, you know?”

Hurk blinks once or twice before the tinge of pink flushes his cheeks, certainly not from the excess of shit beer he’s been knocking back, and opens his mouth to retort before deciding another drink is a better option. After one big swig, which Sharky gladly matches, he musters up the proper response.

“Cuz, I don’t think you wanna go down on her right there at the bar-“

“Aw shit man, not what I meant,” he grimaces, “ain’t done that in ages. A pretty gal like her don’t deserve my half-ass attempt.”

“Just ask her h'wat her name is first,” Hurk says simply, tipping his beer bottle towards the very blonde in question, who raises an eyebrow at the two of them.

Never in his damn life has the Spread Eagle suddenly felt so hot. Like, not fire heat, no, that shit's tolerable and preferable, to whatever suffocating swamp is bogging down his lungs and making his face burn red. She’s looking right at him and she doesn’t seem to give a shit. She's looking right at him and fluttering those pretty lashes and – by god she just belched.

Open-mouthed chest-thumping cockles-of-her-soul belched.

Oh god he's in love.

“Pretty lady what's your name?” he blurts before his thoughts have come even halfway back round in his skull, and she stiffens in surprise.

“Me?” she says, and her voice is gruff like sandpaper and oh god he's in love not drunk, in love damnit.

…a little drunk maybe.

“Good job Shark,” Hurk encourages with a pat on the shoulder, and Sharky swats out blindly to hush him up.

The blonde across the bar looks between the two of them, then at herself, down at the dirty t-shirt she's wearing, and back up into his eyes. Can she see into his soul? Is she actually a witch or some shit? Was that belch her wicked mating call, and she’s gonna lure him back to her evil swamp lair and bite his head off like a praying mantis? He swears one of her eyes is a little off kilter but she's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

“Francine,” she says, almost sounding surprised, but that’s fine, her name is lovely, “er. Frannie.”

He can't even speak. How does he respond to that? Where have his words gone? He definitely passed third grade English. Maybe. Probably not. God damn this bar feels like a sauna.

“Niiice to meeeet yeewww, Frannciiine,” Hurk hisses, “you gotsta respond dude.”

“You're hot,” is what he says instead, “or. It's hot. In here. Cuz you’re. Pretty. I like your shirt. Nice belch.”

Chances ruined. Shot deflected. What the fuck came out of his mouth? This is why he can't get his dick wet.

But Frannie – blessed Frannie – smiles big as can be and hides behind a big swill of her pint. Slams it back down on the bar with froth on her upper lip like the most graceful mustache he's ever seen on a lady (and he’s seen plenty in Hope County.) She doesn’t even bother to wipe it off her face before she’s up out of her seat and heading for the door. But something about that grin on her freckled face says follow me not I'm noping the fuck outta here.

And so he does, with a celebratory if not preemptive whoop from his cousin.

“Git ‘er Sharky!” Hurk claps his hands together, and all he can do is snort as he stumbles off his own stool and after the walking embodiment of his deepest drunken desires.

Following behind her is like chasing a deer through the brush. Except he’s never done that, and she's drunk enough to stumble a little as she trudges out the front door. Granted, so is he, but he’s always carried himself well enough to get by. At least, that's what he tells himself. Hurk says he looks kinda like a bowlegged daddy longlegs when he's drunk, but what does Hurk know about majesty when he sees it?

“This way stranger!” he hears from outside on the porch as the door swings shut between them.

Barging through is easy, but catching up to her halfway across the street is hard when he’s this wobbly.

“Where you goin' Frannie?” Sharky calls, a little more high-pitched than he'd intended, and she laughs real quiet so he can just barely hear.

“Just come on, ballcap, got somethin' to show you!” she says over her shoulder, but he isn’t focused on her face when she angles it back at him, “just across the street!”

“Well alright, but I'll have you know I am a gentleman, thank you very much, and I'm not expecting no free peep show in the alley,” he clarifies, “a man of culture and chivalry only expects titty flashes in the open street, or in the privacy of someone's bedroom - doesn't matter whose.”

He sees her elbows bend, watches her hands settle on the hem of her t-shirt, and holy Bongo II is she gonna turn around and flash him did that just work hello God it’s me Sharky—

Frannie face plants in the gravel not two steps further. Tripped on her own damn feet or something. And in that moment, sprawled in the dirt, limbs akimbo, she may as well be a fallen angel. He can’t even help her up he’s too busy tripping over his own self, ogling at the sight before him. This woman is a mess, and he might be too.

Okay no he totally is.

Somehow he manages to stumble forward and get ahold of one of her hands, and in a semi-fruitless struggle Frannie manages to get her ass under her and up onto her knees with his help. She's got mud on her face, and a skinned elbow, and the lopsided grin she offers says she's just fine.

“Was gonna show you but I fell,” she says simply, and all he can do is nod like an imbecile, “but come on I really wanna show you this other thing!”

The two of them get Francine on her feet and steady enough to start walking, and the second she turns away and out of his loose grasp he panics.

“I’m Sharky nice to meet you Frannie,” he gets out all in one exhale, “you don’t have to show me your tits they’re probably real nice. But I’m too drunk to remember them tomorrow and I'd really want to you know?”

Frannie pauses in her stride and turns back to him, still wearing that wide crooked smile.

“How bout I show you tonight and tomorrow? Why not both?”

“I mean. I’m not gonna say no. But I don’t think either of us are in the right way to be doin' that shit as drunk as we are,” he says, and since when has he cared?

How many women has he let yank him to the bathroom or out by the dumpster to fuck around with after a long night of drinking? …not as many as he’d like to imagine. Maybe only like two. Okay, he's got a point.

His companion simply nods, fine enough with his opinion, and ambles back on down her path. This time he manages to catch up to her and match her stride, and before he knows it he's mustered up the courage to reach out and hold her hand. The whole thing is giving him butterflies, and if Hurk could see him now he’d probably tease him for a solid month about it. The great Charlemagne Victor Boshaw, reduced to holding hands with a cute girl, going off on some adventure.

Seems she's leading him to the water tower nearby, and he’s fully prepared to tell her he’s scared of heights, but she keeps on walking. Up the little hill, towards the outside of town, to the little patch of trees up the road. The thought strikes him that perhaps he's about to get stabbed, or shot, or stabbed and shot – or maybe she really is gonna bite his head off in her evil lair – but then she looks to him and smiles again, squeezes his hand, and, nah, he’ll be fine.

[uhtceare-bitch]

Something new (1)

This was gonna be a headcanon but I turned it into a fic bc I’m fucking awesome dude , holy shit bruh , I’m so cool

His whole , kirishima , has looked up to his sister , she was always there for him , always tried her hardest to make everything for him possible

She always tried her best to make everyone happy , safe and just having a good time bruh

He remembers coming back home one day and just feeling like trash , and as soon as you’d as him like that , you immediately made him his favorite dish and watched a movie , then you envied Mina , since there was still time and took them both to the cinema

He still has the movie ticket , it reminds him of you

He’s just your biggest fan

When he enrolled in UA you were a third year , you were a close friend with basically everyone

You quirk was ; possession , you were able to take control of Anyone’s body , that includes objects , animals and plants

Which is why you’re close friends with shinsou , you helped him out with trying to fit in and all that , you even stood up for him multiple times when people try to make fun of him or say he’s gonna end up a villain

——

Well now enough backstory , let’s get into the juicy juice

You woke up in your dorm room , Mario right next to you , sleeping with his head on your chest , you looked down at him and smiled , you played with his hair a bit , you knew he was catching feelings , which means he just broke the first and most important rule

He and you both knew this wasn’t gonna be a thing , you two were supposed to only have sex , there was supposed to be no feelings involved, you obeyed you’re own rules but he sure didn’t .

You were walking back to your dorm room when you heard Mario’s voice , at that point you two were doing your little ‘thing’ for two months , you didn’t pay much attention but then you heard him say your name , you immediately possessed the table , dropping your bag near your door , you saw it was tamaki, mirio and nejire talking

You felt really bad for invading their privacy but you just couldn’t help it , you need to know why your name came up in the conversation, even if they’re talking about how gay you are-

“ I’m in love with (y/n)... and I don’t know what to tell her ! I know if I try to confess my love , we won’t do our ‘thing’ anymore , but ! I should probably do so , it’s best being honest with her , than just try to live out this Lie right !?” Mirio said , with an sad smile on his face , it was adorable , he was always smiling even when he’s feeling bad

That’s what you really liked about him , he never lied , he always tried to be honest with everyone , a,ways smiling , and 90% of the time it was a true smile , he was just a nice person

Unlike you , you always faked these smiles , these jokes and laughs , you didn’t want to be here , you don’t want to be a hero , you’ve always been more into being just ... a random person ? You just wanted to walk around and do what you want , you wanted to be a hero sometimes , but you really wanted to be a villain most of the time , you always hang out with the LOV , you even caught hawks talking to dabi, they were on a roof

You promised to keep their little thing a secret , you even hang out with the both of them sometimes when shigaraki’s being a sore loser , besides Dabi has always been that one person that you just fuck with

Literally and figuratively

You ever wanted to say anything because you didn’t want your brother to loose hope , you knew you were his role model , you knew shinsou will be sad , knowing the person who told him he won’t be a villain for his quirk ,the person who has a very similar quirk to his , is a villain , knowing mirio will probably do the best and tell everyone what you are

It was too risky

While you were caught up with your (gay) thoughts , you realized that tamaki and nejire have left , it was just mirio , he was on his phone

Fuck what if he’s texting you , you quickly went back to your body , and saw that you were

Wrong he wasn’t texting you , he was actually calling you

You picked up the call “ ayo what’s up Mario !” You said as you unlocked the door to your dorm room

“ hey (y/n) ! Where are you ? I haven’t seen you in the gym today ! I thought we could have worked out together today “ mirio said happily , you could still hear the sadness behind his cheery voice

You smiled as you went inside your room “ I actually just got back , I couldn’t go this morning , besides , yesterday’s workout was very tiring , you really didn’t hold back , did you ? “ did you hate acting all flirtatious knowing fully well he’s now in love with you ? Yes , but you should act the same way you did before , if you started acting weird he’ll understand quickly , for a guy who’s grades are an average at best , he’s pretty smart

You could hear his smile after you said that “ I’d apologize but , you did flat out tell me to not hold back , I warned you , but you were asking for it so , who’s fault is that really ?” You giggled as you threw your stuff on the bed

“ whatever , ass , what did you want ?” You asked him

“ what ? “

“ you called ? What’s up ? Did something happen ? Or did you just miss me ? “

“ oh ! Ahaha I forgot actually ! But I mean I did miss you haha , would you mind if I come over tonight as well? It’s okay if you don’t want to ! But please say you do want to ...” you chuckled again , he’s such a fucking loser , you loved his silliness

“ sure you can sweetheart , but I gotta jump in the shower real quick , so if you wanna join , knock this time , you know what happened last time ...”

——

At the end of the night , he did indeed come over , he did indeed no knock on the door , but he didn’t scare you this time

And he sure as hell didn’t tell you how he felt .

Now it’s been three months since that little night , ever since then , mirio hasn’t changed , but he did act weird whenever you came to your room late , when you didn’t answer his calls or talked to some people that he didn’t like , or just thought that they were very touchy touchy

And you might say , well yeah that’s a boyfriend does right ? He’s worried about you , he wants you to himself , he doesn’t want others to do anything to you , wether it be sexual or violent

But the thing is , we ain’t together homie

So now you’re just sitting here , barbecue sauce on your titties- trying to run away

First you had to get rid of mirio

Second you needed a new Identity ( hehe Tity)

Third you needed to find a place to stay

And last but not least you needed a plan to convince everyone that you’re dead

‘Wow ‘ you thought as you took a sip of your coffee ‘ I need to fucking get dressed fist dude , I’m tired as fuck bruh ‘

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

tuxedo iii, m | myg

pairing(s): yoongi x reader, mentions of previous jungkook x reader

summary: It’s the next morning. Your cat is still a man. Fuck. He still thinks he owns the place, including you. Sigh. Well, you still have to do your job, because, yikes, your cat-man has spent a small fortune on new clothes (spending like he’s got a black card, what’s up with that?). Ah, but... maybe both of you are starting to finally acknowledge that he might be a more man than cat – at least for the time being...?

warnings: rated M (18+) for language, mentions of the coronavirus pandemic; possibly full-on crack; mentions of and a tiny bit of smut (fem reader, spanking, doggy, unintentional??? voyeurism, dry humping / thigh riding); domestic and soft moments with your cat-man; non-idol!AU - cat!Yoongi x human!reader; ft slightly cocky Jeon Jungkook (+drama!!!) and bestfriend!Kim Seokjin; breaking of the fourth wall; are YOU a furry? yeah, I kinda think you are

*deep breath* I reference a certain boat that was stuck in the Suez Canal, Yoongi's livestream where he poked himself in the nose with the coffee straw, his love for tangerines, too many Twitch chat memes, that time his mom called him a boiled dumpling, 'BST' pink pajama Yoongi, DTS, TXT's 'Cat & Dog', etc...

–

part i | part ii

-

You woke up slowly. 

A perfect, peaceful morning. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Neck cradled by your memory foam pillow? Check. Back well supported by your soft mattress? Check. Not sleeping on your sofa and destroying your spine? Check. Hey, you’re moving up in life! Ah, what a normal day already. You opened your eyes a crack; vision blurred from the morning sunlight filtering through your curtains. Bundled in your minty-green duvet? Check. Wearing your extra soft black-and-white striped pajamas? Check. 

Large pale human hand firmly gripping your right titty? Check. 

Wait… 

What?

Your eyes snapped open and flew to your left. 

Min Yoongi's face was centimeters from yours, buried into your pillow, messy bedhead sticking out everywhere. Black choker with the tiny silver bell around his neck. Still had those black velvety pointed cat ears and glowing pale skin, pretty pink lips ever-so-slightly upturned, warm exhale against your ear. 

Your cat still a disturbingly handsome man?

Ah, yup, check. 

His hand was on your right breast, fingers molded to the soft curve. A quick glance and, whew, he was still fully dressed in his black t-shirt and sweatpants from yesterday. Yes, fully, completely dressed. Shit, what if he caught you staring? You quickly flickered your eyes up at the ceiling, hastily wiping the drool away from your mouth. Whoa there. That would be embarrassing if he caught that.

Also, kind of gross. Don’t be gross. Keep it together.

Hahaha…

Well, yup, this was still awkward, the whole hand-on-the-titty thing, hahaha, but not as awkward as it would be if, hahaha, you accidentally, oh, don't know, hahaha, got really, really, really disgustingly drunk and, hahaha, had somehow lost all impulse control and, hahaha, fucked your cat?

Man.

Cat-man. 

Hahaha, that would never happen. You’d make sure of that.

... 

Unless?

No, no, no, stop, he's your cat, your cat, he's literally been a (cat) man for one fucking day, albeit a incredibly hot, deliciously built (cat) man who put your facial massager on your nipple and let you touch his human dick in the shower and he was hard for a hot second, so... no, no, no, stop, you are not a desperate thot, get a fucking grip – well, you kind of are – but not him, for fuck’s sake, you still don't understand what the fuck is going on or if he even remotely likes you and, let's face it, he probably doesn’t because you almost paid a guy to chop off his nuts–

"Are you dying?"

You choked on air and lurched sharply at the sudden deep, raspy voice. The grip on your right breast tightened, preventing you from moving away. You did what any sensible human being would do in this situation and wheezed like you were on the verge of passing out. 

"Urk!"

"Do you have high blood pressure?" Yoongi yawned calmly, turning his face to the side to avoid breathing in your face, thereby pressing his body even closer to you. Your neck and ears heated to five billion degrees. "Your heart's beating abnormally fast. Maybe you should see a doctor."

You definitely needed to see a doctor for something as well as several gallons of holy water and a priest to get an exorcism for that horny demon inside you. 

"Y-Your hand!"

Yoongi grunted. "What about it?"

What about it???

"It's on my tits!" you squeaked.

Yoongi lifted his head, squinting. "It is." Then his head dropped and he closed his eyes again. 

HELLO, Min Yoongi? That's ALL you have to say???

"Is there a problem?"

IS THERE A PROBLEM???????

"I've always slept like this," he mumbled.

That's... true though. Your tuxedo cat, previously named Shooky until you realized he had his own name, did used to always sleep next to you, when he wasn’t trying to murder you by sitting on your chest, that is (he was adamant on letting you know when he needed breakfast). Usually, your cat was splayed out by your left side, his long body extended and pressed against you, his white, sock-like paws encircling your arm. Shooky had basically been a small furry heater that kicked you sometimes in his sleep. 

Keyword: small.

"Y-You w-were a cat!" you sputtered.

"I'm still a cat."

"No, you're a man! With arms!"

"The reach is a little farther. Who cares?"

WHO CARES???????

Before you could very loudly inform Yoongi who exactly cared – that’s you, by the way, yes, you – he wrapped his arms around you and yanked your body to his, turning you into a red-hot chili pepper with the amount of heat your face was now emitting. Then his free hand grabbed your other titty. Without asking! Without even so much as buying you dinner or, hell, giving you a goddamn cracker! You didn't need to be wined and dined, but at least a single fucking snack before using your tits like his own personal stress ball!

Yoongi pressed your back into his chest.

You froze. 

He pressed his crotch into your ass, shivering slightly.

Your soul left your body. 

"Ugh, this human body is terrible," Yoongi muttered. "Always so cold. I need this extra body heat or I'll die."

You'll die? YOU’LL DIE?

You were pretty sure that you were already dead. Rest in peace.

Hang on. 

Something was stuck in a very specific place, quite similar to a far-too-large boat in a narrow canal.

"Um."

Er...

"What?" your cat-man grunted.

"Your..." You gulped. "Dick."

"What about it?"

"You, uh... have morning wood."

"Is that a human euphemism?" he grumbled impatiently, clear annoyance in his tone. "I don't understand your species. Wouldn't it be easier to be straightforward and explain yourself clearly?"

A muscle in your eye twitched, reaching breaking point.

"Your dick is rock-hard and you're shoving it between my ass cheeks!"

"Yeah, so? It's cold too."

Your irritation fizzled out at Yoongi’s self-assured, completely calm response. In fact, he sounded borderline bored and exasperated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. His hard dick was cold, so he put it in the warmest place he could find, your ass, duh. Nothing weird about it, of course. Your mind reeled, unable to compute what the fuck was going on. Thus, your body did what it did best in these moments where you did not want to give a response that would most certainly expose you and your dire need to get dicked.

Not deal with it, of course.

You fainted.

-

"Fuck!"

You shot out of bed at the harsh yell, tangled in the covers, barely registering that Yoongi no longer had a death grip on your tits – in fact, he was no longer in bed at all – and stumbled towards the source of the sound, highly disoriented, your earlier fainting spell turning you into a bumbling mess.

Admittedly, not that different from your usual self.

(Ouch, roasted.)

"What, what, what?" you croaked, running into the doorframe of the bedroom and nearly taking yourself out. 

Might as well, maybe it would have been a blessing in disguise, considering the way your life was going. 

You finally tumbled your way to the kitchen, where your cat-man was hissing at the pan on the stove. 

"I was trying to make eggs," Yoongi spat, pointing accusingly at the frying pan. His ears were flat and his tail was sticking straight up. "And then it attacked me."

If you had three functioning brain cells, you would have remembered Yoongi putting his morning wood between your ass cheeks this morning, but alas, you only had two at the moment – you did run into the doorframe, might have lost one there – so instead you nudged him aside and rolled up your sleeves, taking the pan and shaking it so the eggs wouldn't burn. 

"Was it the oil? Sometimes it pops," you asked as Yoongi continued death glaring at the pan.

"I saw you doing this yesterday. You didn't seem bothered," he mumbled, finishing with a low, angry hiss as if the pan was sentient and mocking him. The oil popped and seared your forearm, but at this point you maybe had five hair follicles total on your arms with how many times hot oil had splattered in you. It used to bother you when you were a kid, but years of cooking had desensitized the feeling, turning it to nothing more than a mere annoyance. Yoongi stayed behind you, intermittently letting out hisses of rage as you cooked.

"I told you, my dad's a chef. You get used to it," you said, tipping the pan and flipping the thin egg pancake with ease. 

"That's bizarre," Yoongi muttered. "No normal animal gets used to pain."

Normality was starting to become a bit of a foreign concept to you.  As for being an animal, well…

You took the pan off the heat and rolled the egg onto a plate with a spare set of chopsticks, turning it into a log shape. A literal egg roll, ready to be sliced into bite-sized pieces. You took a sniff. It seemed to be seasoned already. Had Yoongi simply copied what you did yesterday? His observation skills were insane.

"Then again, you seem to enjoy–"

"Yoongi," you blurted, not wanting to know what he thought you seemed to enjoy, but very sure it was going to be one-hundred-percent embarrassing and only for you. "There's some leftover beef and vegetables in the fridge you can have with the egg and rice."

He raised his eyebrows. "Beef? Why didn't you say so earlier?"

Because I was asleep and maybe half-dead? "Did you brush your teeth?' you asked suddenly. 

Yoongi scowled. "Unfortunately."

"Right, so should I, goodbye now."

You marched away hurriedly, trying not to think about how your cat had surely witnessed you getting spanked while being fucked from behind by none other than, surprise, surprise, his not-so-favorite human being, Jeon Jungkook. Tattoo guy strikes again. The worst part was, you couldn't lock the door on your cat either, because then he would meow incessantly while you were getting deep-dicked and that was even worse. 

"Your cat really likes you, huh?" Jungkook mused as you yanked open the bedroom door to the black-and-white tuxedo furball. 

"Like is a strong word," you muttered at your cat, who yawned and sauntered past you to his cat tree, acting like he owned the damn place. 

"I like you."

"Hah... wait, what?"

Jungkook grinned as your eyes found his. Took a while. You were a little distracted by his nakedness. His tattoos up his right arm. His tan skin. His muscles. His white teeth biting on his lower lip, tiny mole underneath flashing. His long black hair, framing dark chocolate eyes and teasing, cocked eyebrow. 

"I like you," he repeated, voice deep and sexy.

You turned red and made the most coherent noise you could. 

“... Urk?”

“Noona.”

Why did he look so fucking hot and disrespectful at the same time when saying an honorific?

Jungkook came up to you, hand cupping your head and tangling his fingers in your hair. He brought his face close to yours, lips brushing against your swollen ones, taking your breath away.

"Wanna go back to me spanking you while you get off on my dick?"

Respectfully, of course. 

"How much rice do you want?"

You started, poking yourself in the nose with your toothpaste-covered toothbrush and smearing mint up your nostril – almost as bad as poking a coffee straw up your nose during a livestream in front of millions of people, yikes – as Yoongi appeared behind you, breaking you out of the memory. Your cat-man watched you with mild disgust and displeasure as you coughed and dunked your head into the sink, hurriedly rinsing off your burning nose.

"Whatever, I'll just fill it halfway."

And he left you sputtering, pajamas and hair soaking wet in your haste.

Awesome. 

-

“I’m ordering some groceries,” you announced in between bites of rice and egg. You tapped lightly at the phone screen as you spoke. Green onions, tofu, cucumbers… “Do you want anything?”

“Meat.”

You swiped rapidly and added packages of chicken, pork, and beef into your cart. Why the fuck not? You like meat. All kinds of–

“Yes, Yoongi, I’m getting meat. Anything else?”

“What else is there?”

You made a face and handed him your phone. “All sorts of things. Household products too, in case you don’t want to smell like my soap.”

“Your soap is preferable,” he said absentmindedly, scrolling through the online grocery app. You continued eating, shoving things in your mouth and none of it dick. Sad. At least it tasted good. Your cat-man had seasoned the egg well. You jumped as Yoongi spoke again. “I want these.” He turned the phone around.

You squinted at the screen, staring at a picture of orange balls. “Tangerines? Why?”

He turned the phone back to him. “They’re small, round, and look tasty.”

You blinked at him, then shrugged. “Sure, why not? I guess your palette might have changed. Try whatever you want.”

He pursed his lips and pressed a few buttons as you ate. You realized you needed to order more groceries now that your cat was a man eating your human food and no longer a cat eating his rather expensive cat food. Sigh. You had put Shooky’s cat bowls in a cabinet earlier this morning before sitting down to eat. It seemed weird leaving them out on the floor like that. Kind of offensive, maybe, now that your cat was a man and all…

“Okay, I ordered it.”

“Ah, okay, that’s good. They’ll probably come later this week.”

-

After breakfast, you spent nearly half an hour with Yoongi trying to pick out something for him to watch from your various streaming services, only for him to select a historical drama series. Like what? You cat (man) wanted to watch historical drama out of all things? Instead of learning about the modern world, he wanted to watch a depiction of the past?

Whatever, it had seventy-seven episodes, so at least he would be occupied for a while.

You let him be and went to your computer, intending on getting some editing done. Sure, the universe decided your cat was a man now, but you still needed to pay for said cat-man’s existence. You still didn’t know what you were going do to with all that cat food, cat toys, cat tree… ugh, this was all a problem for future you, not present you.

Present you needed to splice five-hundred images of PepeHands together and overlay it over a League of Legends one-shot compilation.

Uh, so, it was this meme of a green frog named Pepe holding up his anthropomorphic hands in despair, therefore coining the term PepeHands for a particular Twitch chat emote… never mind, it just meant you were spending some time video editing for a gaming YouTuber and it required concentration, shitty memes, and well-timed captions. And you were getting paid good money to do this.

Yeah, it’s a weird world.

You sat at your desktop and got to work, doing the rough cuts of the video first. Thankfully, the YouTuber had already sent you the timestamps of the noteworthy moments, therefore making your job a lot easier. You spent several hours compiling the clips before adding your extra flair and effects. You had a library of images and sound bites that you commonly used (including Goofy singing Evanescence's ‘Bring Me to Life’) and was in the middle of grayscaling a video clip and adding the familiar audio of all around me are familiar faces before being scared shitless.

“Woof.”

You swore someone was singing ‘Mad World’ as they were narrating your life right now.

“Gah!”

You jerked in your seat to see Yoongi leaning over behind you, eyebrow raised as you gawked at him.

“Don’t sneak up on me like that!” you exclaimed, pulling back an earcup of your headset.

He frowned. “How can I sneak up on you?” He flicked the silver bell on the black choker around his neck, making it jingle cheerfully. “You put stupid thing on me, remember?”

You winced. “Well, I’d take it off, but there’s some kind of voodoo magic on that shit – and hey, don’t change the subject! You have that weird cat thing where you’re silent no matter what.”

Yoongi looked unbothered. “Weird cat thing? Thought you said I was a man?”

“Thought you said you were a cat?” you shot back.

You glared at him and he gave you a blank expression. Then he cocked his head to your desk.

“Your phone is flashing.”

You jerked your head to see your phone screen flicker. You grabbed it off you desk and unlocked it, checking your messages. Five messages from – ah, but of course – your best friend. Kim Seokjin.

LET ME SEE YOUR CAT

LET ME SEE YOUR CAT

LET ME SEE YOUR CAT

LET ME SEE YOUR CAT

LET ME SEE YOUR CAT

You pursed your lips. With the pandemic and all, you hadn’t visited Seokjin in forever, but every week he would text you, asking for a photo of your cat and he would send you a picture of his sugar glider. With every week being the same and nothing interesting of note happening, it was hard to think of conversation topics. Therefore, Seokjin and you came up with this weekly event so your friendship wouldn’t deteriorate. Also, both of you were serious introverts, so he spent most of this pandemic playing MapleStory while you spent most of it on your couch watching Netflix with your cat. It was a miracle you two hadn’t morphed into actual potatoes yet.

You glanced at Yoongi, who was inspecting his nails and picking at them. You frowned and batted at his hand. He frowned back and smacked yours, harder. You glared at him. He gave you a vacant stare, as if he had done nothing.

“Why are you picking at your cuticles?” you muttered, going back to your phone and sending Seokjin an old picture of Shooky. You couldn’t exactly send him a picture of current Shooky. He was… well, currently not a cat. You stared at the picture of the fluffy tuxedo cat curled into a ball, asleep in your lap on the couch.

That moment wasn’t even that long ago.

Somehow, it felt like ages since you had last petted that furry butt.

“Hm, dunno. Occupies my hands, I guess,” Yoongi replied distractedly.

“Well, you shouldn’t. It’s not good for you.” You noticed you had another message from the local delivery service, saying a package had arrived at your doorstep. You stood, placing your phone on the desk and looked at Yoongi, who was staring at his old cat tree, the one by the window. When he was a cat, he used to poke his head between the curtains and look outside, watching the birds. It was his favorite haunt.

Now…

“Why’d you say woof?” you asked abruptly, giving him a quizzical look. “I thought you were a cat.”

Yoongi shrugged, tearing his eyes away from the cat tree to give you an uninterested stare. “Thought it would surprise you more. You’ve heard meow for long enough.”

You furrowed your brow. “Why would you want to surprise me?”

He shrugged again. “I was bored.”

“… You were bored so you decided to sneak up and scare the shit out of me?”

He paused, black tail swishing back and forth, pointed ears perked. Then he nodded.

“Yup.”

Sigh.

-

You lugged in the huge cardboard box, Yoongi standing out of sight of the front door as you huffed and puffed with your weak arms. Okay, it wasn’t even that big, but it was quite heavy and you weren’t exactly John Cena. Your arms were about as strong as a bowl of overcooked ramyeon noodles and that was putting it kindly. You weren’t the working out type. People who worked out diligently were dog people. People who preferred sleeping as their primary workout regimen had cats. What were the kinds of people who had cat-men then? The kind of people who like sleeping, but also needed a…

(You already know the answer.)

Yoongi snapped the door closed the second you managed to pull it on far enough to do so.

“You look like a boiled dumpling,” he commented.

“At least I’m delicious food,” you wheezed, inspecting the box. You recognized the clothing brand. “Is this the stuff your ordered? How did it come so fast?”

“I selected next-day delivery.”

You paled.

“I need clothes as soon as possible, don’t I? Or should I go back to being naked, since you’re a pervert?”

You choked, ears burning. “I’m not a pervert!”

“Mhm.”

You tried not to think about the hit on your wallet as you grabbed your keys from the side table and opened the box, seeing all the plastic packages inside. Monotone, in white or black. Figures. You tipped the box to the side and the clothes spilled out, tumbling all over the floor. It took a firm shake to dump it all on the ground. You got on your hands and knees to spread them out, tossing the cardboard aside carelessly to shift through the items. Hopefully, Yoongi had read the listings and selected the correct sizes. From your brief glance, you noticed the tops were quite oversized. Maybe he liked that fit? He had been quite a fluffy cat.

You spotted the packing slip with all the prices listed. You fished it out and then heard a thunk-thunk-thunk, the sound of cardboard on hardwood. Huh?

You looked up to see Yoongi swatting the box around.

“What… are you doing?”

He shrugged. “Investigating.”

You blinked. “Investigating what?”

“Don’t know. I simply feel the need to investigate, thus I am doing so.”

You stared at Yoongi for several minutes as he continued to… uh, investigate (???) the cardboard box, holding it this way and that, smacking it around, watching the flaps bounce in the air as it rolled. His velvety ears perked upwards, sleek black tail swishing with interest.

His expression was completely neutral.

For the first time since becoming a human, you thought Yoongi was more cat than man.

“Uh… okay…”

You glimpsed down to the paper in your hands, seeing the total cost.

You felt the color drain out of your face.

My… wallet…

F in the chat.

You fainted.

-

You felt someone poking you in the head.

“Are you dead?”

You gasped and jerked up like a drown victim coming up for air, still in mild shock of the sudden financial hit of your cat becoming a man. It was okay. You weren’t poor. You just didn’t expect Yoongi to be a shopping like he owned a fucking black card.

“Did I spend too much?”

You snapped out of your stunned state at his soft tone. Yoongi wasn’t looking at you. He was kneeling on top of the pile of clothes, dark eyes on the paper in your shaking hands. With a start, you realized his words were heavy with guilt, his ears pointing downwards and tail tucked against the ground.

“No,” you said quickly, putting the receipt down. “No, Yoongi. I asked you to buy clothes, remember? And besides, it’s better for you to buy things you like and are interested in, rather than me wasting money on things you’ll never wear.”

He raised his head a little, eyes darting from your face to your hands.

You smiled at him, reaching up to pat his head and stroke the fur on his ears. “Hey, don’t worry. It’s only money. Money will never be more important to me than you, okay?”

For a second, you saw something flicker in Yoongi’s eyes. It was so fast that you barely caught it. Relief? Gratitude? Fondness? Then he ticked his head out of your hand, fair cheeks flushing pink.

“You… you don’t have to do that,” he muttered.

“O… oh.” For some reason, you felt a pang in your chest at his words. “R-right.”

Yoongi made eye contact with you, dark brown orbs guarded. He spoke quietly, without emotion.

“Do you wish this never happened?”

“What?” You furrowed your brows. “What do you mean?”

He gestured to himself, waving a hand up and down carelessly. “This. Human me.”

Human me.

You answered instantly.

“No.”

Yoongi gave you the disbelieving side-eye.

You let out a sheepish puff of air. “I always kind of wished you were human.” You scratched the back of your head aimlessly. “No one listened to me like you did. Even if I was having the shittest day of all time, you always made it better. You were the best cat ever.” You chuckled, smiling up at him. “Sure, your species changed, but you’re still the same, right?”

His eyes shifted, his cheeks still a light pink. “I’m still a cat,” he mumbled awkwardly.

You raised your brows. “Mhm, is that why you were playing with the box?”

“I wasn’t playing with the box,” Yoongi huffed, sounding insulted.

“Then I’ll break it down and recycle it.”

“No,” he snapped firmly. “It’s useful. We’re keeping it.”

“We don’t need a box, Yoongi.”

He tutted. “Hmph, humans. So wasteful. A perfectly good box should be reused.”

“Right.”

You tried to hide your laugh as Yoongi refused to look you in the eye.

-

You left Yoongi to examine his new wardrobe on the floor. You tried to pick them up but he stubbornly remained on the pile of clothes, not letting you move them. When you stood up to leave, you asked him when he was going to move – he replied with, "When it feels right", just cat things, you supposed – and hurried off to export the edited video you were working on earlier. The due date was today and you had to review it for quality.

A certain quality. 

A certain quality of... of... 

Needing the money.

Because your cat (man) had spent fat chunk of it on clothes, only to be more interested in the box they came in and sitting on said clothes rather than the actual items themselves. 

Sigh. 

-

"I ordered the wrong color."

"Oh?" you muttered distractedly, clocking on the export button. You'd been going cross-eyed for the past two or three hours – had it really been that long? shit – and checked your phone to see Gukmul, Seokjin's white sugar glider, peering up at the camera on a white fluffy blanket. You smiled, typing a response to praise his cuteness, completely ignoring the fact that Seokjin had also stuck his handsome face in the photo, smiling with a thumbs-up next to his pet. 

The reply was instant. 

hello, acknowledge my BEAUTIFUL FACE

You deliberately didn't answer right away to piss Seokjin off even more. 

"What's wrong with it?" you asked, looking up. 

Your jaw dropped. 

You dropped your phone. 

Yoongi, your cat-man with excellent reflexes, made absolutely no move to catch it. 

It smacked you in the calf and hit your toes – fucking ow, holy shit – before clattering to the floor. You had a protective phone case on it with a cute tuxedo cat graphic. The screen wouldn't crack with the protector on it. In this moment, however, you didn't give a shit about your smartphone, Kim Seokjin, or even the blinding pain in your foot. Nope. 

You were ogling at Min Yoongi in pink silk pajamas.

-

We interrupt your regularly scheduled program to–

Oi!

No, don't you dare scroll past! You think you're clever or something?! Hm? Advertisements always happen at the most crucial parts, you say? 

This is just an ad? 

Look here, Lemona Vitamin C Powder can provide a lot of benefits, including providing natural energy and boosting your immune system in, say, a worldwide pandemic–

STOP TRYING TO SCROLL PAST!!!

-

Jeon Jungkook stared at his phone. 

At a very specific number. 

He put it down, sighing a little, looking out the window instead. It was a nice day, but he couldn't enjoy it the way it was meant to be enjoyed. Pandemic and all that. He frowned, looking at the urban jungle surrounding him. Had he made a mistake moving here to the big city? Sometimes he wondered. Back then, he had moved to finish school and pursue his ambitions. Back then, his choice had seemed full of opportunities, but now.

What did he have, really?

A tiny apartment with a kind and understanding landlord. The world at his fingertips from his computer. Still a decent amount of savings left. Online courses that he needed to finish to get his film degree. 

Loneliness.

He delved into his memories, smiling at the recollection of confused looks, awkward smiles, indignant huffs. So very unlike him to tease so much, but it was too fun and he hadn't felt the usual nervousness and shyness he had around others. There was something comforting about that smile, that apartment, and that fluffy tuxedo cat that loved to interrupt everything. 

He shouldn't have played it off.

He shouldn't have distracted.

Not after he admitted it.

"I like you."

Jungkook said it to the air, to the memory. So vivid that he reached out to touch those lips, but then it all disappeared, just like that. 

Ah.

He looked at the back of his phone, wondering. But now he was too nervous and shy to pick it up again. Why was that? When he was there, being seen by those surprised eyes, he could do and say shameless things. But far away, when he was alone, Jungkook was hesitating, suddenly afraid.

Sigh. 

-

You sneezed. 

Very loudly and jerking your head away from your cat-man in luxurious pink silk, jamming your nose into your elbow.

Yoongi raised an eyebrow. 

You sniffed, rubbing your nose. 

"Someone must be thinking about me..." you muttered. 

Yoongi looked down, plucking the collar of the pajamas. "The cotton shirts are the same size, but for some reason this one fits tighter. Why is that? Is there no regulated sizing in human fashion?"

Dude, be glad you're not a girl, you thought dryly. "Might be the fabric," you coughed distractedly. Distractedly because you were staring at quite possibly the most gorgeous man in the history of men and you stared at a lot of men in your short lifetime, so you had experienced eyeballs.

Wait. 

Man or cat-man?

Well, Yoongi was definitely the most gorgeous cat-man considering you were pretty sure there was only one in current existence.

His pointed ears stood straight up in interest, black hair messy from taking clothes on and off, fair cheeks and nose flushed pink, perhaps from physical exertion. Dark brown eyes sheepish, not quite looking at you. The black leather choker stood out on his neck, silver bell gleaming against his collarbones. The material was a mauve-pink silk, clinging to his lean body, showing off his shoulders and long limbs. The button-up shirt created a rather deep v-neckline, a sliver of pale chest visible. And his legs! His slim legs reminded you of a nimble dancer, ending in fuzzy black slippers. 

There was a weird lump in one of the pant legs, going down his thigh. 

Whoa. 

"W-Why did you pick them?" you tried to ask in the least awkward way possible, attempting – and failing – to not to stare at his delectable thighs. 

Yoongi shrugged. "They looked like the ones you have. I meant to get black, but I suppose I didn't read the listing closely enough. They're comfortable though," he mused before making a face. Your eyes bulged as there was a sudden jerk in his pants, creating a large tent in the crotch. 

Alarms sounded off in your head, arousal shooting up like a rocket. 

Oh. 

Oh??? 

Oh!!!!!!!

"My tail is stuck," Yoongi grunted, lowering the back of the pink silk pants. The sleek black cat tail slid out, swishing in the air, tent in his pants gone. 

Oh…

Right. The tail.

Because he's a cat... man.

Your inner thot was sad. Your dignity smacked you upside the head, highly disappointed in you for falling for that, then calmly shot down your arousal rocket with your shame. Oof.

"Can you show me how to sew so I can fix my own clothes from now on?" Yoongi asked as he readjusted the front of the silk shirt. 

You bent down to pick up your phone, trying to do something with your face and hands to disguise your embarrassment and burning ears. "Yeah, of course." You placed it on your desk and turned back to face him. 

Yoongi was right next to you. 

Literally so close that you could feel his body heat. 

"... Urk!"

You jumped in your seat, banging your knee against your desk and howling in pain, computer chair rolling and making you lose your balance, ass about to slip before Yoongi grabbed your chair and shoved it into the table, making you trip and fall back into the seat, head hitting the headrest a little too hard, seeing stars and rubber duckies for a second. 

Wait, were they rubber duckies? They were white and glittery, almost as if they were made from snow…

Yoongi slapped you in the face.

“Ow!”

You rubbed your cheek, blinking rapidly to clear your vision before glaring at him.

“Checking if you were alive,” was his placid response.

Alright, it wasn’t that hard, but the unexpectedness of it still hurt. You frowned, only for the pain to slowly melt away, quickly being replaced by something else as you realized Yoongi was still half-leaning over you, a knee on your computer gaming chair to prevent it from rolling. The sting in your knee was temporarily forgotten. Yoongi spoke again, his voice low and deep, almost a sensual purr.

“You hit yourself pretty hard.”

He doesn’t know what’s he’s doing. It’s just a coincidence. A kitty-incidence, Seokjin would say.

Your eyes widened as Yoongi closed in, peering at your unfocused gaze. Now you could see down his shirt. Holy shit. Were you so deprived that you were getting mad horny from seeing Yoongi’s fucking clavicle and sternum?

Is that even a question?

Yes.

Yes, you were.

“You look like you did last night.”

“What?” you breathed, still unabashedly looking down his shirt.

“Your pupils are dilated.”

You froze. His cool fingertips were on your neck.

“Heartrate increased.”

You wanted to pull back, say, no, wait, don’t do that, but Yoongi was too close and his exhale was too feathery, brushing against your lips, and you couldn’t move, trapped in your chair, between him wrapped in pink silk and your mind reeling, him still playing fucking doctor while you were trying not to jump his half-covered ass.

“And that smell.”

You finally tore your gaze away, eyes drifting up to his.

You swallowed.

“S… smell?”

Oh no.

Oh no, no, no.

Ohnoohshitwhatifhecansmellmypus–

Yoongi’s eyes narrowed, surveying you closely. He was so close you couldn’t see his lips, only his dark brown orbs. He didn’t say anything. He smelled like your soap, reminding you of his naked body pressed against you in the shower. Your heartbeat was leaping to your throat, threatening to choke you with your own horniness. Honestly, at this point, would you even be surprised?

You chuckled nervously, clinging onto your last shreds of self-preservation, which, admittedly, were rapidly yeeting out of your hands.

“Hahaha… but you’re… a cat… yeah?”

Right?

Seconds passed.

Right???

Minutes passed.

RIGHT???????

Yoongi’s lashes lowered, not quite looking at your eyes. Staring at your lips.

“I’m a man too,” he whispered softly.

Your eyes widened.

Yoongi kissed you.

You were so shocked that you swore your eyes nearly left your head.

It was a soft kiss, his eyes closed, tilting his head slightly to fit better against yours, pressing you back into your chair. Your head hit the headrest and you gasped, your tongue lightly flicking his lips and they parted, his own tongue sliding against yours, gentle licks, your brain malfunctioning, but body remembering, hands coming up to grab his shirt and yank him closer, pressing back against him. He backed up a little at your suddenness, exhaling hard. Your eyes snapped open, suddenly aware of how forceful you were.

Yoongi looked away, pointed black ears flicking back and forth uneasily.

You kissed your cat. Man. Cat-man.

He’s been a man for not even two days and you just tried to make out with him like a demented beast!

“A-ah, Yoongi, no, I’m so sorry, I-I… please, I didn’t mean to…” you stuttered, letting go of him quickly, but also not wanting to let go, but you should, your hands getting confused by your mental signals, repeatedly clasping and unclasping the pink silk, not realizing that he wasn’t even trying to move away.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” Yoongi said slowly.

You clutched his shirt, staring at your white knuckles, unable to look at him directly.

“I’m sorry, it’s just… you’re so handsome, but I’m your owner… and I cracked…”

“What you are is a desperate, sexually deprived human.”

You jerked your head up, seeing his unreadable expression. “I-It’s been over a year–”

All of a sudden, Yoongi lowered his knee and grabbed you by the ass, scooting you down on the rolling chair. You yelped at the swift movement, gasping as your crotch collided with his thigh, wincing as you heard the squelch of your panties jamming into your soaked core.

Yikes.

Welp, you can’t hide that shit now.

“You like things like this, don’t you?” Yoongi murmured.

Your cheeks heated. “T…Things like w-what…?”

Oh, you knew what. You knew very well what, but you also couldn’t form coherent sentences.

His fingers sank into your ass and he pressed you into his thigh, rolling it into your heat. The whines tore out of your throat involuntarily, grabbing his arm and staring up at him with shaking eyes, seeing his curious gaze looking down at you.

“B-But, Yoongi… I’m your o-owner,” you panted, resolve slipping with every second, your hips already rocking into his thigh, the slippery thin fabric doing nothing to hide his lean muscle, your own thighs clamping around his leg. “I’m supposed to t-take care of y-you…”

And last more than two days, fucking shit, get it together!

But you couldn’t get it together, especially not as Yoongi’s voice dropped to a lower octave, one side of his lips curving upwards.

“It’s a little different now, isn’t it?” he drawled softly, lashes lowering, eyebrows raising, his black hair darkening his gaze. “Since I am now capable to take care of you too.”

You whimpered, losing it.

Just started freely humping his leg, self-preservation completely gone. Did he even know what he was capable of, really? Did he have any idea what he could do? Surely not.

Surely, he had no idea how good he could make you feel.

Yoongi bit the side of his lip, frowning. “How will can I make it feel better? I’m only cop…” He trailed off, furry ears anxiously flicking.

You tugged on his arm, getting his attention. “Angle your leg a little more downwards… Y-Yeah, like that…” He did as you instructed, his thigh now pressing down on your clit and your rocking hips moving faster, clinging to his arm and setting your jaw, moaning at the added pleasure. “A-ah… yeah, fuck… yes, I c-can… like this…”

“You can what?” Yoongi breathed, watching your face closely, firmly holding the armrests of the chair so it wouldn’t slide.  

Your head tipped back a little, bucking harder into his thigh, so wet your juices were soaking through your leggings and drenching the pink silk, turning it darker, the strong scent of your sweet arousal clearly evident. Your eyes drifted to Yoongi’s dark orbs covered by black hair, vision hazy, noticing the slight inquisitive upturn of his upper lip. There was no point in hiding it anymore.

“Can cum, Yoongi, fuck, I’m going to cum…” you moaned, inhaling his scent, his presence, saying his name and looking up at him, the stimulation and touch of another enough to get you there, eyelids fluttering as your orgasm swept down, taking you away and filling you with serene satisfaction, crashing waves soaring through you, washing away the sand of your dry spell, a different kind of euphoria than when you were on your own, pulling Yoongi close, kissing him deeply, breathing hard.

“Y… Yoongi…”

“Was it nice?” he murmured. “Was I what you needed?”

“Yeah…” You kissed his soft lips again, semi-breathless. “I–” The wave of guilt came now, your words dropping, brows furrowing, a sharp pang in your chest. Rising, rising. Panic. Yoongi lowered his head, black hair and soft pointed ear rubbing against your eyebrow, nuzzling your cheek. Once. Twice. Again, headbutting you lightly, smoothing the worry away from your forehead, a small laugh bubbling from your throat.

“What are you doing?” you chuckled, patting his arm, smoothing out the wrinkles you had made while furiously humping him. Your eye caught the dark mark now on one of his thighs. Welp. You lasted less than ten minutes.

Pink pajama Yoongi was dangerous.

“You liked this,” he mumbled. “When you were upset.”

You chuckled, instinctively reaching up and caressing his velvety ear. “You were a little smaller then.”

“Only a little.”

He slowed until he came to a full stop, dark eye staring into yours, cheek to cheek.

“I have to look after you, my clumsy human.”

-

part iv

--

masterpost

[james-stark-the-writer-wips]

A Year At The Opera - Excerpt

Chapter 12, Part 10: Aaron and Eleanor

Word Count: 1000 words

Here's that drama I promised :)

*

“Oh god not them.” Ryan muttered under his breath as he turned to see who had just arrived. “Anyone but them.”

“Where is he?” Asked the most-likely leader of this group of leather wearing men with chains around their waist— fuck this was a gang wasn't it…

Fun fact about Athea: they barely have a police force. Athea does not have a fucking gang. And appropriately, Aaron didn't even have the slightest idea of how he could process this. 

“You are not welcome here.” Ryan walked up to the man. 

The other five men took a step forward but the leader motioned for them to stay back.

Aaron had never seen his dad so angry. He was practically fuming: nostrils flaring, hand balled into a fist, ready to throw a punch. This was so insanely out of character Aaron could do little but stare wide eyed. He'd barely ever seen Ryan snap back at someone or raise his voice. This had to be really fucking bad.

“He was more my family than he was ever yours. I have more right to be here than you do.” The man spat. 

Ryan clenched his jaw, the words little more than a whisper. “Don't make me throw you out. Do not fucking ruin my brother's funeral, Holton.”

“Try putting a fucking finger on me and it'll be cut off before your next breath.”

Ryan narrowed his brows. With every word out of Holton's mouth Ryan seemed to get angrier and angrier. “Who even fucking told you this was happening?” 

“You thought you would hold a funeral for one of our brothers in this town and I wouldn't find out about it?” 

Ryan took a step closer to Holton. Ryan was tall and fairly well built but Holton looked like he lived in a gym, almost comically oversized biceps and pecs big enough to rival the best big titty goth girls around. Holton would fucking down Ryan Ina single punch if it came down to it. 

But Holton took a step back. 

“Look,” Holton began. “We both loved Joe and I don't want to make a scene. None of us do. We just want to pay our respects. For everything he did for us.”

Ryan unclenched his jaw and his fist, relaxing a little. “You get five minutes. Then I want you and your goons out of here.”

“Thank you.” Holton said. 

The chains on their side rubbed against their jeans as they walked up to the casket. 

“Hey, Mary.” Holton whispered. 

“Hey,” She said. “That could have gone better.”

“Eh, I can handle Ryan.” Holton chuckled. 

Ryan stood in place, staring them down from afar. 

Holton turned to casket. The thin, almost lanky, man next to him asked, “Do we know what happened?” 

“Well, Ash, they're refusing to give out any details but they're saying it was a leak at the plant.”

“Well someone must know what happened.” Another man spoke from the group.

“Well if they do, they're not talking.” Mary replied. 

“Promise me you'll find out who did this.” Holton said, choking up. 

“If it was an accident, there's nothing to find.”

“Someone is responsible for accidents too, Mary. Just promise me you'll do whatever you can to find who did this.”

“I promise I'll do what I can.” She sighed.

“Thank you. I knew I could trust you.” Holton said. 

Asher ran a hand through his blonde curls as he stood there awkwardly not knowing what to do. And in the middle of all this, that was all Eleanor could focus on: Asher Blake. Or Ash as he liked to be called. Eleanor was not focused on the funeral services, she was not focused on her friend next to her. Instead, her eyes and her whole being immediately wanted Asher Blake at first sight. And god she was trying not to show it. After all, Aaron needed her right now. He was going through something traumatic, she couldn't be distracted. And yet she couldn't force herself to look away. His jawline, his nose, his eyes, his hair, the slight slouch he walked with, his deep voice, his rings, the leather, the chains, his cliché but somehow still attractive skull necklace, his rainbow nail polish. To her credit, it was hard to look away from the guy. 

Holton reached for the casket handle but Mary stopped him. “There's nothing to see.” Holton withdrew his hand. “There's a reason it's closed.”

“Just promise me you'll find whichever son of a bitch did this, okay?” Holton growled. 

Mary nodded. 

As if on cue, the priest announced, “Its time.”

“Uh, actually, if you don't mind, we'd like to carry our fallen brother.” Holton said. 

Mary looked at Ryan who just shrugged. 

“Alright then, let's uh, go outside.” Holton turned to Asher. “Get it from the other side, boy.”

Ash rushed to the other side and picked up the casket. Two other men besides Holton picked up the lower end of the casket. The other two provided light support in the middle and with the directions of the priest they all began to move outside. 

All Aaron could even do was just sit in his corner and watch it unfold. He'd stopped processing things a while back. All Eleanor could focus on was the way Asher's shirt slightly lifted up as he carried the casket away, revealing his abs. But as he disappeared out her door along with everyone else in the room, Eleanor could finally put her attention back to Aaron.

“Dude, holy shit.” She sat down next to him on the floor. She drew her knees to her chest and rested her chin on it. “That was so much.”

“You're telling me.”

“You didn't tell me your uncle hung out with Legion?” 

They're called Legion? God, please pick a worse name.

“I didn't know either lol.”

“Well are you okay?” She asked sincerely. 

“Yes, I'm fine, I just need to process the last ten minutes. I'll be okay.”

“Good.” She smiled, stretching her legs. 

“Go.” He said, turning to her and giving her a half smile. 

“What?” She asked, confused. 

“Girl, I saw you looking at him. Go. Before he's gone.”

“Do you know that I literally love you.” A statement. Not a question. 

“Yes, now go, dumbass.”

El giggled as she stood up. “I'll be right back.”

She gracefully walked out of the room and shut the door behind her, leaving Aaron alone with his thoughts. Exactly what he needed right now.

*

[goforwardgreenwriter-blog]

The Worm Reads: Empire of Storms, Ch 38

*inhales*

It’s here. Pray for me.

(Also, this should be pretty obvious, but this is indeed a chapter with a sex scene, so there will be NSFW text so maybe skip this one if you don’t wanna read that kinda stuff)

And Aelin knew if she didn’t get the hell out of this city for an hour or two, she might very well explode again.

I’m out of witty remarks to make about Alien’s piss poor temper at this point. Can you believe hundreds of people died painful and brutal deaths last chapter and all SJM focuses on is Alien’s feefees?

Rolfe and Alien have “edgy” “thrilling” “banter” where they insult one another, blah blah blah, you’re not here for that.

Also Rolfe sold his soul for the map on his hands which resulted in his sister and mother dying. How many nameless characters are gonna be murdered by SJM’s hands to give her main characters something to angst over holy shit.

Aelin rasped, “No. I don’t know what happened. One minute it was us … then she came.” She rubbed at her chest, avoiding the touch of the golden chain against it. Her throat tightened as she took in that spot on [Rowan’s] own chest, right between his pectorals. Where her fist had been aimed.

FJDHFKJAHJDAS OH MY GOD THIS IS THE MALE EQUIVALENT OF SJM BRINGING TOO MUCH FOCUS ON HER FEMALE CHARACTERS BREASTS I AM ACTUALLY CHOKING AKDHFKHAFJKHD

“If I had killed you,” she hissed, but choked on the words, unable to finish the thought, the idea of it.

This book would be a lot better since it would mean less Aelin gushing and less Ratlin being hailed as the best relationship evah

“She enjoyed every rutting second of it. She wanted to see what my power might do, what she could do with my body, with the key.” [Aelin’s] flames burned hotter, shredding through her clothes until they were ash, until she was naked and clothed in only her own fire.

??? i ????? this is not a private beach???? youre a queen what if someone walked in on you naked im?????? im so confused why does she do this???

“How can you be so … fine with this?” Embers sprayed from [Aelin] like a swarm of fireflies.

FHSHJSD THIS FUCKING IMAGERY SJM YOU’RE KILLING ME

Rowan shucked off his boots, tossing them onto the dry sand behind him. “Because I’m the only one arrogant and insane enough to ask Mala Fire- Bringer to let me stay with the woman I love.” [Aelin’s] flames turned to pure gold at the words—at that word. But she said, “Perhaps you’re just the only one arrogant and insane enough to love me.”

Love it when Alien writes my snarks for me. Makes these chapter reviews a whole lot easier!

Aelin let [Rowan] pivot her in the surf and sand to face him fully, let him slide his mouth along her jaw, the curve of her cheekbone, the point of her Fae ear.“These,” he said, nibbling at her earlobe, “have been tempting me for months.”

Oh god here we go

Before we proceed, let’s have a little chat, shall we? SJM’s sex scenes? They fucking suck. This isn’t an erotica novel, therefore sex scenes serve to help us feel the connection between characters, no? I don’t mind sex scenes; I’ve read many before that made me emotional because if they’re well written, they demonstrate how much a couple loves each other.

But SJM fails so hard at sex scenes. Her sex scenes isn’t about the bond between the characters, it’s about her jerking off to fae peen. They’re so hilariously unsexy with the shitty writing and bizarre word choice, and since I don’t like any of her characters, why should I care? Her sex scenes are there solely to trick readers into thinking these books are hot and sexy. But its much easier to show you rather than explain, so.....*sigh* Here we go.

Rowan obliged her silent demand, pressing kisses and soft, growling nips to her throat. “I’ve never taken a woman on a beach,” he purred against her skin, sucking gently on the space between her neck and shoulder. “And look at that—we’re far from any sort of … collateral.”

Am i reading a bad fanfic? Tell me how the characters feel! If i want graphic descriptions of Rowboat fucking Alien, I’d look up fanfics on AO3. Tell me how they feel! Also Rowboat was literally insisting they shouldn’t fuck like animals out in the wilderness at the beginning of the book. Oh, how naive I was back then to the horrors I would endure...

Aelin remembered herself enough to say, “Someone might come looking for us.” Rowan huffed a laugh against her neck. “Something tells me,” he said, his breath skittering along her skin, “you might not mind if we were discovered. If someone saw how thoroughly I plan to worship you.”

JKDSKHDKADHKASJD YOU’RE JUST OKAY WITH SOMEONE POSSIBLY RUINING YOUR SEX BY WALKING BY. LIKE WTF WOULD YOU JUST CONTINUE FUCKING IF SOMEONE ACTUALLY DID WALK BY?? IS THAT WHAT YOU WOULD DO???

His lips crushed into hers, and he said onto her mouth, dropping words more precious than rubies and emeralds and sapphires into her heart, her soul, “I love you. There is no limit to what I can give to you, no time I need. Even when this world is a forgotten whisper of dust between the stars, I will love you.”

God ok I take it back I don’t need to know how the characters feel. This is just too much. Pro tip, declaration of love are better kept simple and sweet, with all that big mushy stuff left unsaid. Also pro tip, try to find other ways of characters saying they love one another rather than just “I love you”, having them have their own special ways of expressing their loves just makes it more special and interesting to read and tugs on the heartstrings. Having them give huge speeches like this is just too much for me personally and doesn’t make their declarations of love feel special or meaningful

Aelin didn’t know when she started crying, when her body began shaking with the force of it. She had never said such words—to anyone.

Uh, yeah you have? She’s expressed similar love to Chaol in Crown of Midnight, calling him her home and whatnot. Pretty similar declarations of love.

Rowan pulled back, wiping away her tears with his thumbs, one after another. He said softly, barely audible over the crashing waves around them, “Fireheart.” She sniffed back tears. “Buzzard.”

Human brain: They’re disgusting and annoying characters I am not attached to their shitty abusive relationship in the slightest

Monkey brain: special couple nicknames,, pure and soft,,, favorite trope,,,

“You … are so beautiful.” She knew he didn’t just mean the skin and curves and bones. But Aelin still smiled, humming. “I know,” she said

I fucking hate Aelin’s vain ass

“Is it that different? With someone like me.” “I don’t know,” Rowan admitted. Again, his eyes slid along her body, as if he could see through skin to her burning heart beneath. “I’ve never been with… an equal. I’ve never allowed myself to be that unleashed.”

What the fuck?

This is Lyria, Rowan’s former mate. She was a Fae who was pregnant with Rowan’s child when she was killed, meaning she and Rowan had sex. How has Rowan not been with an ‘equal’ before?? Did SJM forget her own character’s backstory?

There’s more unsexy foreplay and Aelin takes off Rowan’s pants.

Rowan had been bred and honed for battle, and every inch of him was pure-blooded warrior.

Oh my god, I cannot wait to see how SJM skirts around actually using the word dick/penis//whatever

Oh, gods. Oh, burning, rutting gods. Rowan knew what he was doing; he really gods-damned did.

Just... this whole chunk. This is epic fantasy. Also ‘gods-damned’ is a dumb word idc what y’all say

Rowan growled his approval, her breast still in his mouth

JESUS ROWAN ARE YOU TRYING TO RIP OFF HER TITTY

A phantom touch, like the northern wind given form, flicked over her bare breast. Aelin burst into flames.

what the fuck I am sh o cke d

Magic foreplay?? This is the level we’re at, folks. Fucking magic foreplay. The same wind magic Rowan used to kill witches he is now using to feel up Aelin’s boobs. Holy shit.

A roaring wind full of ice and snow blasted around them.

I have several questions.

Rowan’s smile was nothing short of wicked as he pulled away to run a broad hand from her throat down to the juncture of her thighs.

lmfao wtf. SJM wants to have graphic sex scenes in her YA series but won’t actually use the correct words for genitalia? Like christ are you sticking to YA rules or not???

So Rowan did, sliding a finger into her as his tongue flicked that one spot, and oh, gods, she was going to explode into starfire—

I don’t think starfire is an actual word. Also I hate these two.

When Rowan was seated deep in her, trembling with restraint as he let her adjust, she lifted her burning hands to his face, wind and ice tumbling and roaring around them, dancing across the waves with ribbons of flame.

HAHAHA I AM DYING HOW IS NOBODY NOTICING ALL THIS FIRE AND ICE AND SHIT JUST EXPLODING ON THE BEACH

Seriously what does the magic add to this scene?? it’s so fucking weird! How are they somehow fucking but also concentrating on doing all this magic??? Like what the actual fuck it just makes no sense

And as his thrusts turned deeper, she dug in her fingers, dragging her nails across his back, claiming him, marking him. His hips slammed home at the blood she drew

WHAT THE FUCK  WHY ARE YOU DRAWING BLOOD?!?! THAT ISNT SEXY THATS AELIN LITERALLY SLICING UP ROWANS BACK WITH HER NAILS WHAT IS HAPPENING

Rowan’s magic went wild, though his mouth on her neck was so careful, even as his canines dragged along her skin.

How is he careful but also dragging his teeth across her neck you can’t have both

Rowan’s own release barreled through him at the sight of it [Aelin climaxing], and he groaned her name so that she remembered it at last, lightning joining wind and ice over the water.

LIGHTNING

L I G H T N I N G

EPIC FANTASY SERIES COMPARED TO THE LIKES OF LOTR AND WE HAVE A MAIN CHARACTER’S CLIMAX SUMMONING LIGHTNING I WANT OFF THIS CRAZY RIDE

Already, she wanted more, already she was calculating how long she’d have to wait. “You once told me that you don’t bite the females of other males.” Rowan stiffened a bit. But she went on coyly, “Does that mean ... you’ll bite your own female, then?”

Aelin has a biting kink confirmed. Listen, I don’t care what kinks people have as long as it’s kept in the bedroom and everyone involved can and has consented, but this is just gross because I despise these two characters and don’t want any more paragraphs about Rowan biting Aelin please spare me

Understanding flashed in those green eyes as he raised his head from her neck to study the spot where those canines had once pierced her skin.

Are you bullshitting me. Are you actually fucking kidding me.

Rowan assaulted Aelin and bit her on the neck, causing her to bleed.. and this is portrayed as sexy? As a romantic moment between them?? What the actual fuck SJM!!! If a guy you were arguing with bit you, you’d knee him in the balls and call the police because he is assaulting you!! WHAT THE FUCK AM I READING HOW IS THIS IN A NOVEL IM DJHAFJKHDJKAFHJK

I’m done and I want this chapter to be over. tl;dr Aelin wants to bite Rowan and this makes him so horny they immediately have sex again.

They moved together, undulating like the sea before them, and when Rowan roared her name again into the star-flecked black, Aelin hoped the gods themselves heard it and knew their days were now numbered.

You’re fucking like animals in the middle of a beach where anyone could see you. Stop trying to make it all ~epic~ and ~most important relationship ever~ like god fucking damnit this Ratty/Aelin ship is literally my worst nightmare. Fuck this book.

[99lufttentacles]

Stripped Gears

A/N: This story features my character Gavin “Torque’ Touraque from When The Rendezvous Is Compromised. Here’s a  summary: It’s 1983. The hit went south and now whilst on the run you and The Asset await extraction. You are at the last Hydra outpost in the state, stuck in a car and will try to survive a massive gunfight come daylight. But first, you must survive the night in frigid temperatures.

Which you can find here or at AO3

In it, the reader is “cast” as a gay male. My intention was to challenge where the boundaries of the phrase “Y/N” begin and end.

But this story is a matter much different...

I: Rumlow was pretty bored already. The mission had been a success, but he hadn't expected anything besides that. It had been a simple one for a change, they barely had to do anything, it was mostly just dropping the Asset at a determined place and letting him do spy stuff. Rumlow loved some action but an easy one was good for a chance. Ir uwas good, but now he was bored as he sat on the back of the van with two other agents and the Asset, who wasn't wearing any of the heavy gear he usually wore, since this job had been more about stealth. He looked over at the Asset and moved closer, suddenly pinched his nipple and smiling at his reaction. "How are your tits today, huh? Are you nice and full or did those jerks at the lab already drank everything?" He said and tugged the shirt up, uncovering the other's chest and taking a handful of his right pec, squeezing it. Some milk came out with that and Rumlow licked his hand. "Good... hey boys, you thirsty?" He smiled at the others who hadn't been paying attention until now. "Come on man, we said we wouldn't fuck him in the van anymore, just wait until we get at the base where there's aircon." The older one said. "Who's talking about fucking, you moron? His tits don't count."

J: 'It is starting to fill up again which it doesn't find rewarding or useful. It has a way to deal with pain but it highly prefers to be emptied when it comes to this subject. ' The Asset thinks. He wants very much to be milked, actually for the most part has a lot of positive associations with the word 'milk'. He hears his handlers talking and knows he should not be, even to himself. 'Toys aren't alive and have no wants. It has no wants. It follows programmed protocol or instructions. The Asset must remain silent and give no sign of it's own will. The only thing it is allowed to use such knowledge for is combat and espionage endeavors. Dependent on the whims of his handlers, he is usually the last to know of his needs and many times finds himself waiting to be asked to feel what his current needs are, so this is already a skewed response to internal stimulus. He keeps his face carefully neutral while accepting his nipples hardening and tingling in anticipation. 

I: The older agent, Rollins, just rolls his eyes then and sighs. "Ok ok, yeah I could use some milk right now." Rumlow smile and put a hand around the Asset's neck. "You get the left one, the right one always tastes better." He said to Rollins and pressed the Asset against the van so he was sitting up as straight as he could. He gave the Asset's tit a little slap and smiled at the drips of milk. "He's getting really full now." He said and squeezed the other's pec again, making a stream of milk run down the Asset's torso. "Oh yeah... look at that. Remembering to give him those shots every week is a pain I'm the ass but it's worth it." He said and licked the Asset's nipple, then sucked it into his mouth. J: The men's teeth were rough on his tender nipples but the suction was greatly enjoyable. Already he was finding it hard to not get carried away with his body and the erogenous effects it had in him. They were quite noisy in their sucking and licking, sometimes leaning back and squirting the liquid out of him into their mouths four inches away. Hearing the trickling g wet sounds of it was no help. 'It's just a container full of liquid and they must drink.' He thought as they growing enthusiastic sucked hard on his nipples then pulled their heads back from him till his nipple slipped free of their pucked sucking lips loud noises. I: Rumlow sucked hard on the Asset's nipple until he wasn't getting anything out of it. Even then he kept sucking, biting on the tip a little before actually letting go, seeing a little bit of blood coming from it. He smiled and squeezed it. "Fuck that was good." He said, but Rollins was still at it, face pressed against the Asset's chest. "Did you like getting your titties sucked? Huh?" He said and laughed, pinching the other's nipples between his fingers, then moving his hand down, stopping between the Asset's legs and giving him crotch a squeeze. "Hard to tell with that holding you tight huh?" He said and put his hand inside the Asset's pants, tugging on the tight metal chastity device. "Do you think he even remembers his dick without the cage?" Rumlow said to Rollins, laughing under his breath. J: At the sight of his own blood The Asset remained unphased but was starting to sweat from keeping his breath even. Rumlow was sometimes a bad bad man and could hurt him much much more than this but he felt himself stirring in ways best left unnoticed. Indeed, he had forgotten the parts in his pants. 'Drainage system, nothing more. ' he thought and pushed away the strengthening fluttering happening there and was distantly disturbed by Rumlow touching him there. Disturbed and gratified at the someone anyone's touch there. Not good. This was both good and not good at once. 'Wires crossed. It's going malfunction if it has to feel much more. No no no!' He thought.'The Asset is supposed to do as it's told and respond as directed but it can't. The stupid machinery of it's body isn't as easily programmed as the rest! It doesn't want to know what it feels but at the same time it knows it needs to be emptied in other ways. Bad. This is all bad.' As he thought the last a distorted an nearly unheard par of his mind said the opposite. 'Good. This is good. It finds content at being put to use. It has worth this way.' I: Rumlow raised an eyebrow when he the asset's dick twitched in his hand, inside the metal chastity. "Oh? Would you look at that. Someone thinks it gets to feel good." He said as Rollins pulled away from the Asset's nipple, wiping his chin. "What? He got hard?" He said, not quite believing it. "Not quite, but I think it wants to." He said with a menacing smile. He pulled his hand out of the other's pants. "Strip and get on your knees, come on." He said, grabbing the Asset by the hair and shoving him on the floor of the van.  "Rollins do me a favor and kick that piece of shit in the balls until it remembers it's place, will you?" J: The Asset follows instruction being quick so as not to anger Rumlow further. He is also a bit terrified of what else may be done for no reason which he can control. 'Peice of shit, yes. This is whatever you say it is. It does whatever you tell it to. Use it up. Use it's pain.' Free of clothing including shoes he presents his bruised and marked body head down palms on the floor of the van. All the while becoming more confused. 'Objects don't hurt! There is or there isn't, real, not real!' he thinks with mild alarm, the kind a person displays if a little of their drink splashes out if their cup. He awaits the punish and instructions about how he may respond. I: Rollins clearly isn't into the whole scene Rumlow made, but he is very curious that the Asset had the beginning of an erection. It was probably the relief of getting the milk sucked out of him. He stood up behind the Asset and looked at him in the humiliating position. Of course, the Asset wouldn't think it was humiliating, because he didn't think. "Well of it had a hard on before it's certainly gone now. Look, its balls are all drawn up. Poor thing." He said and shook his head, he leaned down and grabbed the Asset's genitals by the base, yanking them back and slapping them a few times quickly, aiming for the unprotected testicles. He then let go and drove hos boot right into it with a hard kick. J: Stars exploded behind the Asset's eyes. The pain slides down his legs and up into his belly but he hardly moved at all as it was he default command to feel nothing. The movement he did make was from the momentum of the blow. Immediately after he straightened himself making his sensitive zones accessible. That same deviant voice in his head supplied an unwanted chant of 'Pain is a powerful tool. ' His mind wanted to further distance itself from reality but knew no such thing was needed at this time and the further he tried to withdraw the more they would hurt him. So something else began to happen. Endorphins began to slowly release without his control and the pain began be interpreted as energy mostly. The spike of white hot energy lancing into his groin and belly radiated out into the rest of his body. And still some of it was interpreted as pleasurable sensation. I: Rollins got a few more kinks in before he noticed it and stopped on his tracks. "Holy shit, Rumlow." He said and laughed. The other handler, who had been sitting there palming his pants while he watched frowned. "What?" "It's hard. It's full on hard, all squeezed up in the cage. Fuck. It's getting off on this. It likes it. That's it, they fucked up its head to the last level." He said bit was still laughing. Rumlow got up and stood up. "Asset, roll over, spread your legs, you fucking useless piece of garbage. I can't fucking believe it." J: He didn't know what was worse to be visibly afraid or  to try and keep his mask of complacency up. Either was a horrible prospect. 'No no, this isn't how it's supposed to be! But it hurts, it hurts, it hurts... 'and just then something awakened inside 'It hurts so... Good!'. He could feel the blank going out of his eyes and didn't know how to stop it. This had never happen before. Usually everything thing he does is to avoid pain and be praised. He had never wanted pain itself. The part of the Asset's mind which was panicking was being silenced not by them this time but by himself. He did as he was told thinking 'This isn't what they want but I don't know what else to do!' I: Once the Asset rolled over and Rumlow looked at his hard on with a scowl on his face. "Fucking dumb fuck. It is getting off on it. Now that's just great. How are we gonna use this fucker now? And punish? If it enjoys it?" He said and kicked the Asset's balls again. "Maybe it's time we set it up for a wipe. It's been what? Three months? Of course it was too good to be true that it hadn't broken yet." J: At that moment the voice in his head took over his entire face. He was either about to be blinded in both eyes or serve them in a new capacity none of them seemed to have thought of yet. He thought either could work. 'Even if It is terminated after today I will still serve them well if not as intended.' He flicked his hair back over his head sitting up further. A grin of utter insanity was plastered over his face. He had bitten his lip to the point of bleeding and had been keeping the blood behind his lips but now chose to let it run down his chin and chest. His eyes were lit with manic glee. "Please, Sir. It's been ever so good. So fuck it up, stab it through its palms, knock it's fucking teeth out, peirce it's most sensitive flesh with needles! Have fun because toys are to be played with, toys are to be played with, toys are to be played with...! " The slap rocked him back knocking him to the floor where his head collided with metal for a second but through his thick hair went unheard. He blinked and  suddenly had no idea where he was or he'd come to be there. The man was yelling at him so he obeyed dazedly understanding he had just been doing or saying something and now must do only what he was told and to say nothing. He complied as quickly as he could shaking his head a bit. There was something foul tasting in his mouth. His body seemed to buzz with sensations he was I'll equipt to recognize at the moment. For some reason he felt a sense of relief and knew what it was though. He pressed himself against the wall playing back the man's words to himself as he placed his hands obediently behind his back. Rumlow just stood there for a moment, watching the Asset closely, like he could snap at any moment. What had just happened? The image of the lustful bloody smile flashed into his mind again. He shook his head a bit and grabbed the handcuffs there were specially made for the Asset. He locked its wrists under his back, then grabbed him by the hair, so he could face him. He looked at those grey eyes and was relieved when he only found the same terrified confusion behind a blank stare that he had seen many times before. "It definitely needs a wipe. Can't got another day without one. Fuck... Where's the cane Rollins? Grab the cane, hit his back until he bleeds, if he starts getting hard stop and smack him in the face." Cane? Did he hear correctly? He knew he had. He was also feeling a pull generated from somewhere inside. He felt it was very important now stop thinking, stop the questions from rushing around in his head and do '...what it is supposed to do.' When the first blow landed he knew he was not doing what he is normally supposed to do. With a sense of failure and overwhelming shame he sobbed quietly but hard all the same. 'It been bad and now it's going to have nothing but punishes until... Well until they saw fit to stop. There is nothing The Asset can do except take it. If It has to do it in tears on the floor naked and afraid then that was what it will do.' He thought. Heart pounding skin burning he remained in place for more. But something was still wrong. Somehow he was getting it wrong. I: Rumlow noticed the Asset wasn't keeping his usual blank face. Even when he was getting tortured Rumlow had barely seen the asset let out more than a few breathy grunts and an almost imperceptible frown on its face, but now Rumlow could hear him actually cry. Something was very very wrong, but he didn't stop Rollins, the asset was taking its punishment without questioning or resistance, so it'd do for now. Soon there were blood dripping down from the asset's bare back, running all the way down to his thighs, but the mark of the first blows were already disappearing. "Alright, that's enough. Let's leave him alone for now. We'll clean and dress him up before we hand him over to Torque. Fuck, what a mess." J: 'It doesn't understand what has happened. How does it regain control? 'It's thoughts leaped from one concept to the next, scrubbing it's information stores for something anything to use and help right the world again. A passing phrase came to mind "-with these changes in hormone levels brain chemistry is also effected causing a varies range of psychological responses-". With a sensation like he is running through his mind flipping switches turning dials. He grasps at his capabilities putting them into action right as he is thinking through what may need to be done. The experiments from his estimations has changed his biological properties which in turn have changed one of the most invisible yet powerful forces that comes from him: chemical balance through hormonal changes. These in turn may have effected his mental states. With careful mood moderation he may be able to return to optimal function. With all the different types of training he has had it is not difficult to change his breathing, calm his pounding heart. He feels as if he is a train car reclaiming it's orderly place on the tracks. 'Emotional output 20%. Body language, 89% complacent, 97% docile. Sexual response 13%. Pain response 13%. Biological output Waste 0%, Lubrication 2%, Blood 21% and falling.' He distances his mind in a way that has been most typical before the experiment started and prays for the determination to regulate himself closely for as long as he can. He doesn't want to think about what may happen when he cannot any longer. An image comes to mind unbidden. It's Rumlow and reflected in Rumlow's eyes his own mad bloody grin. I: When they finally deliver the Asset to the next unit, it is dressed, but still soaking wet from the bucket of water they poured over its head to clean off the blood. Torque finds the Asset standing at the door of the room, and it's almost imperceptible but he's shaking, maybe from the cold, maybe from whatever abuse he went through. Right away Torque knows things didn't go as they usually went, but he knows it wasn't a failed mission from the report, so whatever went south happened on their way back. He stood in front of the other with a bittersweet feeling. It was good to be in his presence again, but awful to see him in that state. "Hey." He said in a soft voice, stepping closer. He knew the asset wouldn't remember him fully, but knew once the asset looked at him something would click, and the asset's behaviour would change and he'd relax more. "Do you wanna get rid of those damp clothes? I gotta clean you up but I have nice warm water and soft towels afterwards, no hose, promise." J: The Asset says nothing but feels something cool and soft in his mind before the man speaks to him. He doesn't understand it is a small amount of happiness. He struts forward to present himself to the agent. 'Thompson? Divue? No, these are not his name.' It feels familiarity and positive at that so his comments are not a trick meant to lure him falsely. But he worries all the same the tight sense of pressure has begun to rise as his mammories continue to produce milk. Soon it will leak and seep through his shirt. He both does and does not wished to be milked. His head is still fuzzy but he remembers the start of today problems were caused by his need to be milked. He still worries about his ability to fight his own brain chemistry the remainder of time his hormonal levels are fluctuating. I: Torque sighs when the asset didn't relax at his words. Usually that did the trick. He risks a touch, that could be a good or bad idea, only one way to find out, so he reaches the asset's shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze. "It's ok soldier, stop worrying. You'll be taken care of. Come, follow me." He said as gently as possible, and walked towards the bathroom. Torque knew the other handlers usually just took the asset to the back of the unit and hosed him off, but not him. His soldier deserved hot water and privacy, so he had made sure they had the showers to themselves. When they got there, Torque folded his sleeves and the hem of his pants after kicking his shoes off, then turned one of the showers on, adjusting the temperature carefully. "Ok, can you undress yourself? Do you want help?" J: The touch. Jesus Christ, the touch is all it takes.  Unaware he is being lead away, abruptly he feels knowledge about the man, Gav Touraque he now remembers. He feels how gentle he has been, how warm. He has saved his life and Torque sometimes saves him. He feels he doesn't need to speak they have worked together a lot and non verbally so Torque can he read his expressions better than any of the others. Because he's looking for something more when he looks into The Asset's eye he finds the hidden messages there. When asked if he wants help The Asset begs with his eyes: "Help me, please!" I: Torque smiles at the look the Asset give him, because he should've known. The soldier is a tough man of course, but with Torque he can enjoy some babying, and Torque enjoys it just as much. He steps closer to the asset and tugs on the other's shirt, sure enough he raises his arms and Torque takes it off, then he notices a little white dot on one of the man's nipple. "Oh, right. They're still giving you those shots huh?" He says and shakes his head a bit before he moves to the asset's belt. "Its ok, I can milk you if you want, I'll do it quick, unless you want me to do it slowly." He says thaf last bit in almost a whisper and without looking up. The soldier isn't always in the mood for that, even with Torque, sometimes the other handlers would've just finished having their way with the asset, in those cases they mostly have a cuddle or just sit together while Torque talks about mild topics. But Torque can't tell if the Asset would want some closure or not, of course, they only actually fucked a few times, but they have a little fun sometimes. Once he's done stripping the Asset he gestures for the shower. "It's nice and warm, but not too hot, don't worry." J: Under his breath just audible to Torque he says "Slow please, Sir." Safe from the problems he'd  been having for a while, he softens his demeanor. This is what he needed to be emptied and for someone to let it be soft. Their words, their gestures, their touch even the way they finish him off, all soft so he can keep a difference between pain and pleasure, function and disfunction clear in his mind. When they are together sometimes The Asset goes to a place of complete trust of Torque. He calls him 'Sir' knows it will be rewarded. He tries once more that day to keep his biological response from growing too strong. He steps into the shower and begins to speak more than he ever would to any of he other men at a level only Torque who stands neaby can hear. "The Asset is afraid to touch itself. Anywhere. Something... Is getting it very... agitated. They saw and they punished but punish... play... pleasure... It's  all mixed up and It's afraid, Sir... " I: Torque smiled at the answer and nodded. "Ok, I will then, as soon as you're nice and clean." He said and grabbed the soap, massaging the asset's shoulders gently, avoiding his swollen chest. Torque had seen the wounds on the asset's back, knew they were probably gonna heal up ok, but didn't touch them at all, no need to cause the other unnecessary pain when the water would be enough. He heard the Asset talking and a part of him went a little soft. Torque loved that man's voice, he wished he could hear it more. The things he was saying though, weren't so nice. "You malfunctioned, so what? It's not your fault. They've been sending you to missions one after another, wiping you but not giving you any time in the ice. It's probably that. It's gonna be ok, soldier, you're gonna be put in ice tomorrow. I know the chair will hurt and the ice stings, I know, but at least you can rest then." He says, because it's all he can offer. "Besides, we have the rest of the day together." He's lowering his hands now, and squats down in front of the soldier, rubbing the soap on his legs. His face is very close to the soldier's dick. He really wished he had the key to that stupid cage. When he stood back up, he grabbed the shampoo bottle he had set there before. "Look what I've got for you. It smell really nice, I'll give you a nice head rub. Wet your hair a bit more please." J: Wires crossed!' And echo of a memory flashes in his mind. It feels like an electrical cord with a short in it has produced sparks when the word hurt reaches his ears. He takes a big stuttering inhale at the sensation feeling a muscle down below clench pleasurably for a second. But the smell of the soap is soothing and it presses his hackles back down feeling well known hands sliding up and down his legs. He discovers with the water inside the steel cage he is able to rub a little against it when that muscle flexes. He wet his hair and leans back again so Torque can wash it. He slips further into the warmth and calm Gav provides and feels a burden lifted when he is reassured they do not have to part from each other quickly. I: Torque washes the asset's hair slowly. It's mostly just a massage at that point, and he drags it out because he can see how much the other is enjoying. Once he's done though, he helps the asset rinse it and then turn the shower off. He quickly grabs a soft towel and wraps the asset with it burrito style, hugging him in the process. They're facing each other and Torque smiles at the closure. "I missed you." He said and give the other a soft, gentle peck on the lips. "I always miss you." He says then looks away for a moment before he starts actually drying the other and his hair. He's almost finished when he sees a trickle of milk running down the soldier's chest, and quickly dries it off. "Sorry. I didn't forget about that. Let's sit down." He says and takes the asst's hand, bringing him back to the room they were previously, and sits the asset down. "I'll try not to make a mess." Torque said and he got down on his knees in front of the asset and licked one of his nipples. "It tastes good, you know?" He says and then takes the asset's right tit into his mouth, sucking gently, but already so much milk comes out. J: Still nervous but willing, his eyes flutter then he closes them. His head tips back a bit and his building desperation is relieved in Gav's warm soft mouth. Mentally he feels as if he is sinking into a warm soft vast bedding. 'Drainage system filling to max capacity with genetic discharge.' The Asset thinks. It isn't long before something that has never happened does for about the third time that day. Soft waves of erotic energy begins flushing out from his chest down his solar plexus and core into his pelvis and on to a node of pleasurable sensation buried deep inside him. He allows himself to breath faster knowing Torque likes when he can tell The Asset feels good. Unable to stop himself he hugs Gav about the head and shoulders whimpering in quiet whispers "Thank you, Sir! " while grasping about his shoulders clutching a handful of his shirt pulling Torque toward himself. I: Torque coughs a little as he tries to swallow the milk in his mouth with the asset hugging him abruptly. He smiled though, and hugs him back, keeping his arms low enough it won't disturb his wounds. "You're welcome... I'm glad you're enjoying it. I'm not finished yet though, let me finish, baby." He said and kisses the asset's arm before pulling back, then he notices it. The asset is hard. He has a hard on. Oh. He just stares for a moment, then sighs. "This probably has something to do with the problems you had earlier, huh? Fuck, sorry sweetheart." He bites his bottom lip and touches the Asset's genital, lifting them a little, then he tries something. He leans down and licks the soldier's balls tentatively, then looks up at him. "Feels good, huh?" J: The Asset bites his lower lip with his front teeth nodding three times. His flesh is slightly cold from being wet and Torque's tongue is hot and pliant it's surface exquisitely textured. As the man licks The Asset slides his hands up to the side if his face holding his head gently as he tilts it at an angle to lick under the device. Being as hard as he is with the device on hurt but it's a good hurt. The majority of his hard on exists lower on his pelvis in the portion of his cock that leads into his perineum. He can feel blood pulsing there. He leans back in the seat and gets his left heal up on to the edge of the seat presenting the part of his penis that can't be locked away and therefore can be touched and licked. He removes his left hand from Gav's face and presses it against this rubbing up and down a little. Once more communicating with his eyes he asks: "Touch here please, Sir?" I: Torque smiles when he looks up. The asset looks astonishingly beautiful like this, horny and pliant. Torque could never refuse. He leans down and licks over the stretch o skin between the asset's hole up until the cage, then places his open mouth over it and sucking gently, moving his head a little, up and down, on that spot. He can feel how hard it is under the tender skin. He keeps doing it, and places his hands on the asset's thighs, feeling it tremble. He wondered if the soldier would be able to cum from this. He had never seen him this hard before, just slightly hard maybe from needing to pee. He had milked the asset's prostate before and he had been soft then, so seeing him like this was really a treat. J: His heart us pounding again but it is good. The Asset has no idea why but imagery of the time the basically served below zero temps because they fucked an ketp each other warm thought the night is returning to him. He breathing quickens once more as in his mind he remembers lying on Gav's lap with his mask on a strip of duct tape covering the hole in their front to control The Assets breathing. Torque's mouth had been like nothing he had ever felt. He remembered panting and crying out moaning and nonsensical as he struggled not to cum before he was allowed to. He had kept wanting to fill his mouth with Gav's cock in return but this was also not allowed. Chest pistoning he saw Torque in his lap bracing himself with his hands behind his back as he  gave The Asset the control to fuck him with. The pounding in his ears as his blood rushed throughout his body his mouth whispering "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" with each breath once the mask had been removed. I: Torque was giving the asset everything he had, he knew he was definitely taking the other to his edge now. There was pre cum dripping down the soldier's chastity and his balls were tightening. Torque moved one hand to the soldier's balls then, massaging them gently without tugging, and letting out a few encouraging moans. It didn't even take that long, he just felt the asset spasming, and there was hot cum all over his face. Torque had a lustful smile on his face as he lapped some of the cum into his mouth, but then he looked up and saw the tears on the asset's face and frowned. "Hey, what's wrong? Did it hurt? Are you ok?" J: "No, no. It's good. You made it feel good a lot of times haven't you? " He replies. His entire body is tingling. He has goose bumps all over and his legs are shaking still. He places his left fingers under Gav's chin and tilts his head up. He leans forward and licks the dribbled of his on cum off Torque's chin. "May I service you? "He breathes with his lips a hair breadth away from Gav's. Still his blood pounds Thump! Thump! Thump! In his ears. I: Gav sighed in relief then and let out a little moan when the asset licked the cum off his face. He got up from his knees and took the asset into a full on, deep and sloppy kiss. "You may, but there's no rush." He said and grabbed the towels next to the asset on the bench, cleaning up his face. "You must be cold... let's go the examination room, there's a big enough bed there and some warm sheets, come on. Do you think you can walk?" He said the last part with a teasing smile. Thankfully the examination room was directly connected to the room they were in at that moment. J: The Asset calmed and complacent and trusting follows Torque to the adjacent room. There is low lighting cause by a bank of small lights under the cupboards over the sink. It caused the room to be filled with cool tones reflecting off the smooth surfaces and absorbed by the softer ones. It had a very so thing effect. His back still hurt but the malfunction had dissipated so there wasn't any more confusion. He waited for Gav to tell him what to do. He was unsure what he should do or could do. Or ask for. Or deserve. I: Gav brought the asset to the room, locking the door on their way, it probably wouldnt bee frowned upon to be caught fucking the asset, but being gentle with him? Would be trouble. Then lead him to the bed there and took his own clothes off. He got in the bed and gestured for the other to follow him. "Come here sweetheart." He said and then laid on top of the soldier, keeping his weight off of him, then kissed him tenderly, while one of his hands reached between his legs. "Can you spread your legs for me?" He whispered against the asset's mouth. J: 'It feels so good to obey when someone is kind as they make orders. If things were like this all the time,  it would be easy and I wouldn't have to hide the frail parts of me.' The Asset spreads his legs and bends them at the knee to make more room between his thighs then whispers "Like this?". He is trying hard to take in as much of Gav as he can before tomorrow comes. 'For now,' he thought, 'let me be with you. ' I: Gav nodded and his dick pulsed just as he watched the soldier spreading his legs. He knew the soldier wasn't actually able to say no, and that doing this was shades of fucked up, but he looked so good, so invinting. He just wanted to make thar man feel good, feel human. "Yeah baby, like that. You're so good." He said and then spit on his fingers, then spread the moisture against the man's hole. "It doesn't hurt here today, right?" He was pretty sure the other handlers hadn't had their way with the soldier this time, probably too freaked out by his malfunction to risk it. J: "No, Sir. It feels... "He said sighing as Torque's fingers caressed and massaged, "...it feels... Uhn! Feels... " and he lost his train of thought. He was quickly losing his words and going to a place where all he heard were commands and opportunities to serve. Everyone who gave him orders were his dominants but this person was his master. The Asset would never falter to please him nor give of himself to him. Usually he is to never look into anyone's eyes unless told to but with Gav he looked. Pools of almost hunter green made him think of the grasses that grew deep in lakes sometimes, secret and quiet. That's what he hungered for after his long periods of time away from him, a chance to go somewhere secret and quiet. To be comforted and used in ways that make his body shiver with bliss. As the warm fingers probed him he sucked in a breath over his teeth and gasped in exhale. I: Gav smiled at the asset's reaction, there were not many things more fulfilling than getting those sounds out of that man. Gav couldn't be prouder of knowing how to play him like an instrument. He sank his finger finger I'm slowly, while kissing the asset's neck slowly. He liked it this way, slow, soft, gentle, the complete opposite to the rest of that tortured man's life. He made eye contact with him and held his breath for a moment. The asset looked at him with those pale blue, almost grey eyes, and he was so vulnerable, so trusting, he truly belonged to Gav, no amount of brain washing could change that. He worked his finger in and out, aiming for the soldier's prostate every time. He pulled back a little and removed his finger. "Wait here a bit, I'm gonna go grab some vaseline." He whispered and pecked the asset before getting up. He came back quickly, and went right back to what he was doing before, adding a second and then a third finger. He took the opportunity to start sucking on the asset's left tit, which was still full. J: Already breathing a bit heavily The Asset's sense of erogenous response went from perhaps a 2 to an 8 rather quickly. Mewling with Gav latched on his nipple and in his ass, he bucked and arched his back leaning further into the man's touch. Flashes of erotic sensation erupted from his prostate over and over. His previous sense of pleasure eminated from his nipple along some hidden road of nerves down his torso and into his pelvis. "Ah! Ahh!! Aaagh! " his cries choked and seperated but long held breathes until they burst free of his chest. He presses his chin downward to try and see Gav's mouth at work. He glimpses his tongue flicking and heat him making small kising noises. I: As if he could sense the asset looking, Gav opened his eyes and looked up. He smiled with the man's nipple still on his mouth, then thrusted his finger in deep, pushing against the asset's prostate until he moaned again. He let go of the man's nipple with a pop and licked over it a few times before he adjusted himself between the soldier's thighs. He slicked his dick with a few strokes while looking at the other. "I'm gonna put it in now, ok? I want you relax for me, I'll do it really slow, it won't hurt at all." He said and lined up the tip of his dick to the asset's hole, pushing it in with his hand rather than moving his hips, slowly and carefully. Once the tip was in he kissed the asset, slow and deep. He slid his dick inside bit by bit, pulling back then in again, until he bottomed out and stayed still. J: Teased nearly to a frenzy The Asset once more nodding vigorously closed his eye and tipped his head back as Gav pushed slowly inside. Much of his pleasure was derived by feeling something stimulate the entrance of his hole and prostate. Torque was gentle as promised. Me moved his hips in slow wide circles doing something to the Asset which was closer to making love than sadistic torture which the The Asset was used to and was completely unfeeling about most if the time. He opened his eyes then looking at Gav and arranged his expression by biting his lower lip with his two front teeth drawing his brows together in an almost frown his eyes wide and guileless. He said in quiet amorous tones "It loves to be played with so nice. It will always be good for you, no questions or fear again. You're the only one It needs. " I: Gav didnt like to hear the soldier talk about himself as if he was a thing, but he couldn't blame him. The man underneath him was strong enough to kill everyone there, but at the same time fragile and small, and yet here he was, pouring his feelings out because Gav made him feel good. The soldier gave him his utmost loyalty because Gav treated him well. He knew he shouldn't, but couldn't keep those words from coming out as he spilled inside the man. "I love you." He said breathlessly, his hips snapping against the asset a few more times, hammering his prostate and ignoring his own discomfort. He needed to push the asset to the edge, wanted him to scape reality for a little longer. "Cum for me baby." J: Gav said a word he hadn't heard in a long time in that context. He had heard "I love how I can stick anything in you... A finger, a cock, a knife..." And he had heard "I love how obedient you are. You make the perfect sexdoll. I love your dead empty eyes." But this way, oh this way made something inside him open up again. "...love... " the words echoed and reverberated off of the residue of memories long hidden away from him. Someone warm on top of him  kissing at his ear gently while they give it to him slow and hard from behind. "I love you I love you I love you... " Being held under his thighs he holds on to the person fucking him around their neck as they stand using momentum to keep him swinging back and forth toward their dick. " I love you, love you, love you... " Gav kissing his lips both of them panting from exertion. "You're eyes are so beautiful. " He had said. But it hurt as well. His heart was hurting because it couldn't stay this way forever. "You're such a very good boy. " Aware once more of his humanity he began to cry. He was going to forget again. He wouldn't remember love anymore. No wires had crossed this time. The reality was life is pain. Sometimes it's bad pain that makes you want to die, sometimes it's good pain and you can't wait for the blood to being flowing. But sometimes it sweet and good to the point it can make one sick, lovesick. Yes, sometimes it's good and you wish everything would stop and that moment would last forever. And when it doesn't, it hurts. Taking hold of his own agency he pulls Torque closer hugging and holding him saying out loud be damned if the others hear,  "I love you! Gav, I love you! " He arched his back then cumming with so much intensity he could feel the pressure releasing as fluid pumped out of his cock spurting up onto his belly and chest. Erotic bliss flushed out into his limbs. Information in his mind crystallized and he knew himself and what was going on. His memories we're still a scramble but he understood what he was hat was going to happen tomorrow and who he was with. He also knew it was futile to fight the circumstances. He also knew he didn't want to fight Torque. His trust remained as did his fondness and attraction. Once more he said "Mmm... Thank you, Sir. Thank you so much for giving me good things to feel. " I: Gav was still on top of the asset, looking down at him with a mix of emotions on his face. "I wish I could make you feel good always." He said, caressing the asset's cheek. "I'm grateful that I get to be alone with you for a moment, but I wish I didn't have to..." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He still made no move to pull out or get up. He'd drag this moment out as much as possible. "I can only promise you that when you wake up again I'll be here, and that I'll make you feel good again. I'm sorry soldier." He said and kissed the other slowly and tenderly. "You're so pure... I don't understand how they can do what they do to you. Sometimes I think about doing the impossible, you know? Going to hydra's enemies, telling them everything, and maybe you'd be free. But they... the others wouldn't be any kinder with you." He talked to the asset almost as if he was talking to himself. "I wish you had it in you to just kill everyone here, kill me, and then run away. You could do it right now, but you won't." A single tear fell from Gav's eyes and he let out a humorless laugh. "Maybe one day." J: "No." said The Asset. "If I could choose there would be no killing. But there is no where for me to go. And what if... somewhere else is worse? Maybe you could go and get help but maybe If you are here then I can be here." He doesn't explain there is a part of him which is forever corrupted that would tear each of their heads off, would dance ballet to Ludovico Einaudi's Primavera in their blood and one person in particular he'd use a bone saw on to open a five inch hole in his skull with him alive take out his cock undoubtedly hard with bloodlust and- But there's a fail safe. He would never be able to actually get to the point of killing any member of Hydra without the breaking the mental conditioning first. Instead he asks again "May I service you? You are my only... So let me focus on us, on this. I don't want to think of the other things. Let me just be here, now. " I: Gav nodded quietly, then wrapped his arms around the asset and closed his eyes for a moment. "Yeah, let's just enjoy this." He whispered and then kissed the asset's cheek. After a bit he finally pulled out of the man and laid on his back beside him. His face was turned toward the other and he smiled a little. "You're beautiful. You know that? You're the most beautiful man I've seen. Sometimes I wish you weren't, maybe if you were an ugly mug they wouldn't do those things to you and you'd be just mine." He reached over and started playing with the asset's hair gently, massaging his scalp. J: "Most times I don't look into mirrors and stuff. I forget what I look like. And when I'm... doing what I have to do to be what they want me to be, I forget what I am entirely. Then you come along. You remind me that there is something to remember to begin with. When I come to like this I can feel again and you make me feel beautiful." Says The Asset rolling onto his side a little and using his right hand to pet and scratch Gav's short beard. As he speaks his hand slides down Torque's chest till his palm rest over the man's heart. "You are beautiful, too. " Already he wishes to lean forward and start kissing a line down from Torque's ear along his neck setting something in motion. But he is becoming tired now that the oxytocin levels are evening out again but the hormonal imbalance still exists so he is still burning with desire. But he now must sleep a while.

[the-voice-of-hell]

Rent is Theft, part 12

Read from the beginning here, read the previous chapter here.

Note:  My MC is a Filipina trans woman and I am not.  If you have any notes on that or anything else, let me know.

                                                        ***

     Deandre had the extra money to buy a floor waxer at one of the hardware stores on Aurora - of course with the intention of returning it as soon as we were done using it.  We’d done the hard work, the sun had set.  The boys had taken over for me after my place and part of the hall were done, and I was in my apartment.  Everything had been pulled off the floors to make room for the waxing.  I hadn’t bothered putting my apartment back in a reasonable order.  Even the garbage pile from the pill job had just been swept into a bag and left on top of the bar.

     I took a long bath.  My room was still too wrecked to contemplate, so after the bath I lay on a couch in the living room, listening to tunes and playing Tetris on an original gameboy.  The battery in the cartridge was long dead, leaving it unable to store high scores, but I wasn’t into that shit anyways.

     There was a knock at the door and I knew it was Grime.  I moved like a fairly chill tree sloth as I went for the door.  I opened it wide enough for him to see me in my bathrobe.  “Hey, Sailor.  Notice anything different about the place?”

     “Yeah, I heard about what you guys did.  It looks like it’s settled down a lot.  I don’t even know what to make of the whole situation, but fuck it.  How are you, Courtney?”

     Could I love Grime?  I wondered whenever he was being a good boy, making a sensitive expression, smiling gently like that - every part of his face alive.  “Mm, It’s been difficult, but I’m feeling better now.  Have you seen Marcie and Richie?  Sweet Jesus.”

     “No.  Black eyes?”

     “He has two, she has one, and the rest of the bruises are pretty nasty too.”  I was slouching against the wall and it was getting awkward, so I just walked in, leaving the door open behind me.  He followed.

     “Damn, that’s rough.  The price of fighting the good fight, right?”

     “Makes me wonder what the shithead looks like.”  I sat on one end of the couch, he sat on the other.

     He smiled, but with a hint of pain in the expression.  “Ouch.  I know he’s shit as far as we’re concerned, but y’know, clearly he has mental health issues, probably needs therapy that doesn’t involve brutality.”

     I glared.  “Nuh.  Society gave him a pass.  He was getting away with some fucked up shit, just because he’s a brutish overgrown baby, and nobody gives a fuck what people like that do to other poor people.”

     “...Yeah, you’re right.”

     “I know I am.”  I put my nose in the air.  The moment lingered, and I rolled my head to give the neck a stretch.  It was a hard couple of days.  My chin came to rest near my collarbone and I was looking down. With the lights in my living room turned up, my chest was too clear to me.  My sternum was bony, my skin scarred with the ghosts of acne.  I was getting skinnier than usual and I knew the more visible muscles were unfeminine looking.  I pursed my lips and pulled the robe more fully closed.

     When I looked up, I noticed Grime was looking shifty.

     “What’s up, dude?”

     “Oh, sorry.  I shouldn’t be eyeballing my cordial associate.”

     “You were?”

     “I thought you covered up and crossed my arms because you saw my eyes slip, or something?”

     “Huh.  I should keep one out for you.”

     “Excuse me?”

     “An eye.  What did you think I meant?  A titty?”

     He squeezed his eyes.  “This conversation isn’t very cordial.  I’m gonna just, get out of here.”  He stood up to leave.

     I stood up as well, and put an arm on his shoulder.  “You think you’re bad but I think I’m worse.”

     He froze, then turned to me slowly.  “I don’t think I’m bad, just because sometimes I slip up.  Intent has to matter for something.”

     “Does it?”  I pressed my body against his, let the robe fall open a little.  I rested my head on his shoulder.

     “If we do something here, that isn’t a little slip.  That’s just a fuckup.  The way you’ve been?  It can’t be a good idea for you to get with anyone until you calm down.”  He held my shoulders with both hands.

     I stared right into his eyes.  “Maybe true.  But I had an idea the other day and I’m having it again.”

     His grip loosened and his hands hung lower on my arms.  “What idea was that, Courtney?”

     “I think it’s called cowgirl position?”  I let my robe slide down, exposing my chest to him.

     “Mmmm,” he rolled his eyes in thought, clearly having a hard time thinking.  “I guess you seemed like you were doing OK before the police business yesterday…  Is this chill, Courtney?”  His hands latched onto my robe and held me by tugging on it.

     I rubbed his sides.  “Yeah, get on the couch, Graeme.  I’ll get the stuff.  Move it.”  I slapped his ass and went toward my bathroom, leaving him in the living room.

     As I passed through my room, I saw a candle with the Virgin Mary flush against the baseboard - a kitschy bit of decor left behind in the big sneeze.  I didn’t think anything of it, but in the bathroom looking for condoms and lube, I caught myself in the mirror there.  My makeup was a real shitshow, my violet lipstick smeared, my hair just twisted bedhead from hell.

     Something came to me.  I realized something about myself, and as I realized it, I felt like the knowledge could liberate me.

     I pulled my robe shut as I came into the living room, and found Graeme taking off his shoes.  “Put ‘em back on, man!”

     “What’s up?  Don’t you think that’ll look kinda weird?”

     “Not having sex.  I figured something out, Graeme!  I figured something out!  I finally understand.  You understand?”  I waved my hands.

     “No.  Ya lost me, but that’s fine.  Putting ‘em back on.”  He smiled wearily and started putting himself back together.

     “You’re my whore, Graeme!”

     “Uhh… I what?”

     “I have a Madonna-whore complex!  You’re my whore.”

     “Oh god, what does this even mean?  Do I wanna know?”  He finished putting his shoes on and scooted back to the far end of the couch.

     I came a little closer, then jumped back into my end of the couch.  I was still talking with my hands.  This was important, god damn it.  “Right, have you heard of it?”

     “Yeah, I think I understand what it means, but what do you mean?”

     “I was starting to feel really romantic about someone, and then that first night with you, I was in a position to be sexy, and you were there, and like - I was acting the ho, but I put that on you.  You were an outlet for lust, you were my dirty place to be, so the romantic side could stay pure, holy, right?”

     “Aww, this is just… Well, I guess it’s more of the same.  I’m just gonna give you a cordial good night.”

     “Lemme finish, dude!”  I grabbed his t-shirt.

     He didn’t love that.  “OK.”  He stood up, walked behind the couch, and leaned on the back, looking expectant.

     “So I fucked up my romantic situation because I was putting my lust in the wrong place, but I don’t have to, do I?  It’s like, the end of the Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, when the shrinks figure out the main guy’s delusion is, and they say, ‘Now we can cure him.’  I’m curable, right?”

     He nodded, but was telegraphing his frustration.

     I kept on.  “What do you do, to make it so your love and lust line up?”

     “I guess you have to love the person you’re lusting after, or lust for the person you’re loving after.”

     “Yes!”

     “I thought you said you’d messed up that situation.  Also, you said you couldn’t love me.  If this is a lesson to help you fly right in the future, cool.  If you think this can fix where you are now, are you so sure?”

     I was shut down.  He had my number.  I sank into the couch, just looking at my knees making little tents in the bathrobe.  “Uh, yeah… I guess you’re right.  Man, I’m sorry, but… good night.  Go play a video game or something.”

     “You too, Courtney.  Really, I hope you figure your stuff out.”

     “Thanks.”  Fuck off, I thought.

                                                        ***

     The window in my living room almost completely sealed shut again, but a sliver of a crack was all it took to create howling whistles and uncanny drafts.  The wind seemed to pass through anything I jammed in the opening, like everything I owned was as much of a ghost as I was.

     Despite the lack of a door on my bedroom, the wall did slightly muffle the sound in there.  To replace the lost bed, I dragged a couch in that room.  It was a depressing scene of carnage I couldn’t bring myself to repair.  The furniture was mostly toppled, tatters of posters and clothing and more were strewn about the place.  The hours I spent in my bedroom (couchroom?) were of the head-buried-in-pillow and music-blasting nature.

     I didn’t have to think about the neighbors much where noise was concerned because the construction of the building included concrete between every floor and every unit.  Sometimes when you touch a wall, walk across a floor, look around yourself with unfocused eyes, you can sense the underlying structure of a place - the bones of the building.  The Myrmidon Apartments reminded me of a wall of cinderblocks, the way they are shaped like open concrete boxes beams between the compartments.  People’s lives were tucked into each hole in the cinderblock like filed memos, waiting to get bumped to the shredder or the abyss of permanent storage.

     In a building with that solid construction, we should never have felt tremors.  Maybe on a higher floor, where the great length of the building reduced the strength of the materials, where the power of artifice was put to shame by the power of nature, of atmospheric pressures that dwarfed everything.

     We shouldn’t have felt anything down on the twelfth floor, but the building was allergic to us, and the medicine was not completely effective.  Deandre ended up having to keep the floor waxer, we all had to take every opportunity to snake more meds to grind into our floors.

     In all of that, we only tended to the places we lived in or traveled.  Room 1207 was left to fester.  With no one in it, would it have lesser allergies anyway, as I had supposed?  Or would the allergies suppressed through medicine seek an outlet there, warping it more than the rest of the floor combined?  I didn’t have the courage to check it out, no longer going in there to chill.  I spent my time with neighbors or smashing my head in a pillow and listening to music.

     Despite the fact we were still catching little tremor and troubles, we could live in the building without fear of getting tossed in the night.  We’d beaten the allergy thing, and it made us feel a bit more confident.  Confident we could keep this scam going.  There were other aspects of life that kept us down.  Patrick and Grime has issues at work, Patrick had to worry about Perry.

     And I couldn’t stop thinking about Leimomi.  It made me feel like a creep.  But then, I knew something then I hadn’t known before.  I felt like I had Grime-proofed my brains.  I could do right by her, if I could get a chance.  I went over the pitch in my head at least fifty thousand times.

     But I also tried to devote equal time to creep-proofing myself.  What would a creep do?  Don’t do that, Courtney.  A creep would stare at her all sad in the rear view mirror.  OK, too late to not do that.  A creep would keep trying to message her, talk to her, be around her, past the welcome point.  In all my twisting, I did my best to avoid being around her more than an incidental pass in the hall, or at Marcie’s apartment.  Good job.

     I was succeeding at non-creeping, but I was going out of my mind.  I threw myself into focusing on other people’s lives whenever possible.  One day, I was at Deandre’s place, cleaning it up.  He insisted he didn’t need that, and I insisted that I needed something to do.

     After I finished sweeping up the place (soft broom to avoid stripping the medicine wax), I sprawled on one of his couches, across from him.

     He reached across the coffee table to pass me a beer and then leaned back with his own.  “Good job, mom.  You mind if I ask something?”

     “Uh,” I sipped the beer, “Depends on what you’re asking?”

     “Nothing personal.  But why do you do this to yourself?  This place is a flophouse.  It could look like shit, it doesn’t matter.”

     “Aww!  It shouldn’t have to be a flophouse.  Can’t it feel like home, at least a little?”

     “Nuh.  If I let myself think of it like that, you know they’d bust us out like the next fuckin’ day.”

     I sighed.  “True.”

     “So that’s all there is to it?  Trying to feel like you ain’t homeless?”

     I gave him an acid look.  “You know there’s more, but I’m not dumping that on you today.  You made me feel like a loser last time I used you for that.”

     He sighed and put his feet up.  “Yeah, sorry about that.  How ‘bout if I dump for a minute?  Even up.”

     “Dump away, Deandre.”  I drank more beer.

     “You ever wonder about other people’s romantic shit, when you’re stuck in your own?”

     “I guess I don’t.  You think we all have something going on?  Or are you stuck in your own too?”

     “Stuck.  You ever think about if you’re somebody else’s romantic shit?”

     “Oh god, I don’t want to think about that.”

     “Haha, sorry.  It goes around though.  I think that Olivia baby might be hot for me.  I hate it when kids get it for adults.  There are too many of us that are down, and I don’t wanna think about that.”

     “Sorry, man.  You have to set her straight?”

     “Naw, she ain’t sayin’ nothin’.  I could just tell though.”

     “And if you said something first, hell embarrassment.”

     “Right.  Anyhow, that ain’t what I wanna talk about.  I got a dude out there.”  He casually gestured to the window.  A dude in the sky?  No, in the city.

     “Oh?  But there’s trouble in paradise?”

     “Yeah.  He’s hot, we out there living like two kings.  Just lookin’ cool as shit.  So even those homophobic niggas respect us.  And at the end of the day, we get to fuck too.  Win win, right?”

     “I don’t wanna say it.”

     “Yeah, you know it though.  They think of me as a woman - as his woman.  And maybe he does too.”

     “Oh god that’s toxic.  What are you gonna do, man?”

     “Blow my brains out?  Fuck if I know.”

     “Oh, that hurts.  That hurts.  I care about you, dude.”

     “I’m sorry.  I’m just talkin’ shit.  I ain’t gonna do that.  But it feels bad.”

     “I can only imagine.”

     “Did it help you feel a little better though, thinkin’ about somebody else’s problems?”

     “Yeah.  Yeah, and that’s why I’m cleaning here, isn’t it?  Sorry.  I don’t wanna be greedy.”

     “It’s OK, but now it’s my turn to get a taste of that distraction.  What’s going on with you and that girl?”

     I buried my head in a pillow, but knew he wouldn’t be able to hear me, so I twisted my mouth into view.  “Nothing.  I’m stupid in love and we haven’t done anything since the blow up.”

     “That ain’t all there is to it, is it?”

     I looked at him timidly.  “Yeah.  I’ve been thinkin’ about it all day long, all the time.  I know what I want to say.  I’m done with that whole Grime thing now, for real.  All I want is her.”

     “I seem to remember you had some reservations before, but they’re all gone now?”

     “What?  Reservations?”

     “Like, maybe she’s too inexperienced ’n’ shit?”

     “Oh.”  I hadn’t thought about that in a while.  “I guess all it took for me to get clarity on my feelings is losing her.  How important is it to be all prudent and careful and make sure you do everything right all the time?  Yeah, it’s important for some reasons sometimes, but I let that get in the way of something great.”

     “Did you though?  You gotta lose it to enjoy yourself, but at the end of the day you gotta be real.  You gotta realize all that romantic shit is a dream.  We’re all alone in this life, no matter what we got.”

     I smashed a pillow into my face and cried a moment.

     His voice softened.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean shit by that.  It’s OK.”

     I wiped my face on the pillow and calmed down.  “Ugh, it’s not you.  No, that was good advice.  Gotta be cool.  This is me being cool.”  I sat up, grabbed the can off the table and finished drinking it.

     “So cool.  You wanna go to lunch, mom?  I got a few bucks.  Hurricane’s got chicken strips.”

     “Yeah, that would be great.  Maybe we can talk about sports instead.”

     He laughed.  “Yeah, fuckin’ sports.”

     On the way through the lobby, we ran into Sharon.  She reminded me my name was Maria last time I talked to her, which had me worried she was going to follow through with the getting to know people game.  But then she got distracted and let slip just how much work the property company was putting on her.  It left us feeling safe.  She was never going to have the time to find us out.

     There we were, a couple of trans nogoodniks, in gay love with heartache-inducing people.  I was in a pride baby doll tee and crappy around-the-house clothes, but did have my makeup and jewelry on.  He was in dapper pinstripe pants, jordans, and a greenish silver collared shirt with the sleeves rolled.  It was overcast but warm, with only a few random drops of rain.  Not worth an umbrella.

     I liked Deandre.  If I was a mom, he was a good son.  Not the son that makes six figures and buys mom a mansion.  He was the son that would probably do prison time, but never for anything truly evil.  At least, not that I’d be able to see through my pride and affection.

     We walked less than ten blocks to the diner.  It wasn’t great, but it was an institution, provided a service at a price that was headed for extinction in the neighborhood.  It was a place to sit down and get served food for less than your whole paycheck, without the glossed over prison cafeteria feel of a fast food place.

     We came in from the daylight and a dispassionate youth saw us to a table.  I put my elbows on the table.  He put an arm over the back of his seat and stretched.  We waited for our drinks in relative quiet. I tore up a napkin, making sure the pieces fell in a neat pile so I could cover it up with my hands when the youth got back.  She arrived and we ordered - Deandre with the chicken strips and fries, me with a BLT.  I knew I couldn’t eat the whole thing but it’s what I felt like tasting.

     When we were alone, I remembered what we were supposed to be talking about.  “Fucking sports.  You dress sporty sometimes.  You into that?”

     He laughed.  “No.  I know enough to hold a conversation, but only ’cause I have to.  How about you?  Any interest in kickin’ balls?”

     “Oh god.  Bad memories.”  I waved my fingers to dispel them.  “No, I don’t know anything about sports.  What else do people talk about?”

     “The weather, but that just turns into that butt-ass joke, ‘don’t like the weather?’”

     “...‘Wait five minutes.’  It is to laugh.”

     “Yeah.”  He glanced to the side, contemplated.

     “Oh, usually when I’m at a place to eat, I’ll get to talking about the place itself, other times I’ve eaten there, how it compares to other spots, that kinda shit.  What do you think?”

     “Oh yeah.  Why not?  This place sucks.  It’s funny though, that makes it like, everyone has stories about coming here when you fucked up or having a shit time.”

     “Haha, funny you should mention that...”

     We spoke on it for a time.

     After he learned about every time I’d crash landed at the Hurricane - and I’d learned about his - we talked about food in general.  Deandre felt like he hadn’t eaten anything truly good in years, like eating out was an quest for an experience that might never be had.  I also revealed that I was rather particular about food, but didn’t have anything so grandiose or amusing to say about it.

     I finished my food and put the remainder in a box to go.  Deandre finished eating all of his food around the same time.  He leaned back and I leaned back.  Time to chill for another hour of bullshitting.  It’s tradition, when the restaurant is not super crowded.  I didn’t know that with just a few little words, things were about to get fucked up.

     “Where’d you get your name from?”

     I still didn’t know, just took it as intended - a casual curiosity.  “Favorite musician when I was younger.”

     “Kourtney Kardashian?  Courteney Cox?  Courtney B. Vance?”

     “What’s their music like?”

     “The KCV Trio?  Pimpin’.  What’s yours sound like?”

     “Courtney Love.  She’s more than just Kurt’s wife.  She’s kinda messed up so I don’t like to follow the news on her, but her music means a lot to me.  I hope she’s doing well.”

     “Oh.  Yeah.  Huh.”  He turned it over in his head.  “The racism makes it hard to like her, doesn’t it?”

     “Oh no.”  I said it casual, but this was the first hint of alarm in the conversation.

     “Yeah, I heard it was pretty bad.  I try to look too close at the people I like either.”

     I felt like my eyes were shrinking, my head swimming.  Why did I feel like that?  “I shouldn’t even ask, should I?”

     “You didn’t ..?  Yeah, you don’t wanna hear about that.  Forget I said anything.”

     “Haha, yeah...”

     I didn’t forget though.  I claimed I felt ill - true - and got myself home in a hurry.  I needed to be alone.

                                                        ***

     Read the next chapter here.