#holy crap I think this is the most I've ever written on a Tumblr post hot damn

[liminalpsych-in-teyvat]

…I have written ~32,000 words of a single story in the past month. I haven't done that since high school.

Wait. No. Holy crap. I take that back. I stalled out at 25,000 words during NaNoWriMo in high school in I think 2003 or 2004, and that was the farthest I got in a month's time. So this is the most I've ever written in such a short time. But I haven't written this avidly, this many words, this consistently since high school, at the very least.

(oh no I adhd'd in the morning when my meds were half kicked in. That's always a mistake of uncontained rambling. I'll be surprised/impressed if anyone actually reads the rest of this post; ...actually I'm going to put it under a cut because it just got out of control)

It's such a nice feeling! I had given up on writing fiction for a long time, especially after working in residential treatment (2008-2010) when I just. Stopped reading fiction and stopped writing it, because I felt like I "should" be spending my time on "productive" things instead whenever I had time to write (it felt like a trauma brain, survival mode kind of mindset; I was pretty shut down and dissociated).

And when I tried to write any time after that, I got blocked too from overthinking it, knowing just enough about psychology to feel like I was Doing It Wrong with character portrayals, but not knowing enough to do it "right" or for it to flow more naturally. 13-15 years, a graduate counseling degree, and 8 years of post grad experience in the counseling field later, that's not a problem anymore, and not even a stress point.

It's been interesting trying out different approaches to writing. I'm not doing pure discovery writing anymore (aka seat-of-the-pants writing aka pantsing, not having any outline or any solid idea of where you're going, discovering as you write); I've outlined more for this story than I ever have. I'm doing more editing than I did when I was younger (I'm gonna blame adhd meds for that one, thanks adhd meds, you're the best!).

I've also been using a thesaurus for the first time in my life as a writer, which is just embarrassing. It's because I haven't used my extensive vocabulary nearly as actively, not unless it's psychology related. So while I know a lot of descriptive words, I don't have easy access to them. I'll be like "…all I can think of is this direct/simple word, but it's not the Right Word, I know the right word exists but I can't remember what it is, it's kind of like this word but not quite" and so I have to look up synonyms until I stumble across the word I was trying to remember. 9_9 I'm sure it'll come back as I read fiction more and write more.

(Possibly some of it is the head pressure/health issues? Because I'll lose words when I'm having really bad symptoms, and lose a sentence halfway through speaking. But that feels different. Pretty sure this is just because of atrophy from not writing prose for so long, and for not reading fiction nearly as voraciously as I once did.)

(But I hadn't realized I could lose access to my vocabulary from disuse. It makes sense, because I certainly have lost access to the Spanish I was once fairly fluent in. I can still understand a good amount of Spanish when I hear it spoken or read it; I just can't spontaneously access the vocabulary to speak it anymore.)

but man. you definitely get more hits and comments on AO3 for fanfic in a larger fandom like Genshin Impact (65 million active players in March 2023) than in a tiny one like Arthurian literature (20 gay people on Tumblr, that's it, that's the fandom. ...this is hyperbole, but only barely, we might be up to 40 gay people on Tumblr by now with all the Reddit refugees).

and very likely you get more hits for Explicit rated fic / erotica than for non-erotica, but I'd have to post a general audience fic in the Genshin fandom to find out. (I definitely can't say it's porn without plot, the label I used for this fic before I figured out a title was "Kushiel's Impact", basically sex-and-trauma-and-sexual-trauma political intrigue story.)

[emilyjunk]

I posted 2,279 times in 2022

93 posts created (4%)

2,186 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@averagemrfox

@mike-mills

@snowonebutyou

@thelastwarriornun

@ajmichalka

I tagged 2,199 of my posts in 2022

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#q - 1,037 posts

#critical role - 150 posts

#warrior nun - 135 posts

#the locked tomb - 79 posts

#avatrice - 76 posts

#cr3 - 69 posts

#the wilds - 46 posts

#personal - 46 posts

#star wars - 44 posts

#ya - 43 posts

Longest Tag: 132 characters

#depsite knowing all these references o thought this was throwback fun and didn't place at all that it took place in 2002 omg 🤦‍♀️😭

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

When I stop daydreaming and write my fic it's over for u bitches

38 notes - Posted December 5, 2022

#4

Bemily Week 2022 - Day 5: Wrong Number

Beca: Hey dude, congrats on the album release, 10 Years of Ari is already on its way to number one! Thanks for letting me be part of it

Unknown Number: Uh I think you have the wrong number HOLY CRAP DO YOU THINK THIS NUMBER BELONGS TO ARIANA GRANDE

Beca: ....

Beca: Sorry dude... Number was one digit off. My bad...

Unknown Number: MY PHONE NUMBER IS ONE DIGIT AWAY FROM ARIANA GRANDE’S?!

Beca: My bad

When music producer Beca Mitchell means to text a refused-to-be-officially-named colleague of hers but accidentally texts the wrong person, she doesn’t think anything will come of it. Why would it? But through a series of continued texts, she strikes up an unlikely friendship with grad student and resident dog walker, Emily Junk. Suddenly Beca finds herself texting all night, sending endless Snapchats, and sharing several specifically curated playlists. So maybe she has a crush on this random girl she’s never met. It doesn’t mean anything, right? Right?!

39 notes - Posted March 17, 2022

#3

Are there any angsty jori fics you’ve read that you could recommend?

These are basically the only jori I can remember reading lol there's not much angst sorry in advance. I'm a fluff kinda gal.

This series is nicknamed the Virgin-Verse if I'm not mistaken and is my favorite jori ever and I've read it a bunch. This one actually does have quite a bit of angst but it's a mixed bag of angst and fluff and, as it goes on, smut. It follows them through canon and into the way future. The twists are delightful and the buildups always pay off. It will take you days and days to read. It's very long.

The Motion series is by one of the same authors and is set during school and also a little in the future. There is a little angst in this but it's very minimal and fades quite quickly. But it's well written and cute.

TweetDick is one of my faves in terms of characterization. It's really short and there is zero angst lol so sorry about that. But it's funny and cute and I've read it several times to remind myself of these characters.

45 notes - Posted February 25, 2022

#2

Maya Hawke in Do Revenge, pre makeover..... Gotta be one of my favorite genders

58 notes - Posted September 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I'd like to see Jean Jacket come for HIM

258 notes - Posted October 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[lindwyrmrelinquished]

When I lived in Kansas City, there was a new library that opened about a month or two or so after I moved there.

(Story under the cut because it’s hecka long)

I LOVED that library. It was in walking distance(about a mile away, which really isn’t that far, it only took me 10-13 minutes to get there on foot) and it was HUGE. Two stories, books of every kind + an entire area for audiobooks and movies, a play area for the kids on the lower floor, 8-10 computers for those wanting to get work done + vending machines with snacks and drink on the wall closest to said computers, there was one time when you could take a book home for free and keep it without having to pay at all(I totally took that opportunity because why the hell would I not), and several self-checkout stations + a little conveyor belt that led into the wall through a little slot that you could automatically return books and borrowed CDs and stuff in, not to mention you could check out an UNLIMITED number of books from that place, no “only 2 books at a time” rule like schools have.

Plus, directly across from the library, literally a few feet away, was the Lenexa Public Market. It wasn’t big, wasn’t small, but there were at least five shops there. There was a cafe, a couple places to get clothes, some board games, a place with like fast food that also served nitrogen ice cream and a variety of boba tea(I once took my friend to that place because I wanted her to try boba tea, but her religion said she wasn’t allowed to have tea leaves so she got a triple-chocolate ice cream and said it was delicious), and a bakery that I’m pretty sure I myself only bought from once, but those pastries were GOOD.

Anyway, I’d go to the library almost every day that I didn’t have to watch my sister. After school, weekends, holidays, you name it, I spent at least 50% of my days in Kansas at that library. The people who worked there knew me by name, even if I didn’t talk all that much, I had my own library card because I convinced my mom to let me get one(which really wasn’t that hard, she loved the fact that I spent a bunch of my time at the library, plus my whole family could borrow books on my account and everyone was fine with it) and it was completely free just like everything else. And when I had my own money(I got paid to watch my sister), I would head over to the market and buy myself a boba smoothie(yes, they did smoothies) and since I went there so often, the people who worked there knew me too and I got a punch card for a free boba tea for every 10 I ordered(I only got to fill out one of those cards before I had to move away with my family, but I’ll be damned if I wasn’t super happy about that).

The people at the boba place and the library always knew who I was, I couldn’t be mistaken for anyone else because 1.) I always wore my red cat hoodie, and 2.) I always worse a rainbow cat-ear headband(still do, actually). And I always gave a little wave to the people working at the desk when I walked in, which was really just me doing a peace sign and flicking my hand, and I’d always try to smile for them. I usually spent most of my time at the library on the computer because I didn’t have one at home, but that library also had two of my favorite series: Warriors by Erin Hunter and Wings of Fire by Tui T. Sutherland. That library was the whole reason I got to read the new books earlier than I would’ve been able to, and the books that I didn’t own(a.k.a the entire second and third arc). I’m still technically a patron of that library even though I’m halfway across the world from it, since I’m logged in to the digital library and check out ebooks.

Anyway, I really loved that Kansas library, and I also went to the Barnes and Noble bookstore every Wednesday after school since that wasn’t that far either, I made that walk in 4 inches of snow and I was fine(granted, the snow was cleared off of the sidewalks and roads so it really wasn’t that bad but it was cold). Point being, I absolutely LOVE libraries and bookstores and all that and they should be given more credit, give tips to the library workers because they really do work hard so that we can enjoy ourselves.