#hold on one sec lemme google….

[roenters]

Suptober Day 5 - Portrait

Extra info/discussion + the other two versions :)) ↓

So! This did not end up how I thought it would- at all. First I was gonna do like Crowley drawing Cas and Cas drawing Crowley cause I thought it could be cool to see like how they see eachother - yk trueforms and such. But then I thought about the variants of like tfw and demon dean, soulless Sam and godstiel/crazy Cas and I was like - how about I draw them. But then I ended up sketching this really weird shape and a few Sam doodles and decided to just stick with variants of him instead - states when he wasn't fully him but he was at least in essence him (aka he wasn't possessed - it was still him, something was just off) and so I narrowed it down to these three!

Psychic Sam - I loved all the turmoil surrounding Sam's powers and thought it could be really cool to portray :))

Soulless Sam - yeah so I didn't know how to portray the guy being soulless - I mean it's literally just he wasn't himself and he had no emotions or feelings. Originally I was gonna have him hold some light thing but then changed it to show like organs and the ribcage to make it seem like 'hey he's a functioning person but there's nothing beneath the surface - it's all on show'

Sam when he had his wall broken - I didn't know how to describe this part of Sam's life. Like it's easy to explain but harder to put a name to. Idk if it's already been named - in fact lemme Google that rq one sec.. k yeah idk. So i just went for 'broken' cause that's what he was. His thoughts were all over the place, I mean poor lad had trauma resurfacing left right and centre - he was hallucinating the devil for Christ's sake! He was not ok!!! (Also yeah the tears are supposed to look like fake/graphic esk. Idk why I made that decision I just thought it looked cool)

[moonsoupstar-ao3]

OK SO, today I went to uhhhh donar sangre (give blood? Ok lemme just use Google translate for a sec. Donate blood, ok it was the word I thought) for the first time.

Uhhhh two men passed through my house twice???? Screaming at each other???? Whatever, I think one of them stole from the wrong house and/or it's something about drugs too

OK BACK IN TRACK

So, I went to donate blood for the first time (me) with my mom and sis-in-law (they have done that before) for a friend of my sil, [the guys passed again and they're still fighting, I don't have my glasses but one of them is holding something], and everything was okay.... apparently my body needed a few minutes to realize I was lacking some blood and my already low pressure went full down :)

Woke up crying cus my brain wasn't sure how to react to what was going on, and with a lot of people around me, but everything went okay!

Then we got back home.....

I almost fainted again JSHDKDJDK, but I picked up the signs quickly and laid down on the floor before it was too late :D!!!!

On a brighter note, I learned that I'm 100% not anemic (been discussing the possibility with a few friends who are anemics for a while since I checked a lot of symptoms, but nope!)

[woozarts]

dating the all rounder line || l.jh & h.js

there was a lot of ❤️s in the post where i asked if you guys wanted a scenario/oneshot/drabble with these two and got like 19 of them (as of writing). so i was like 'why not?'

this is the dating part of their relationship. i'll also be making a full smut oneshot on them later on.

SFW and NSFW under the picture (minors dni)

les go!

☽ first off, the two of them are the polar opposites of each other

☽ like one's that golden retriever boyfriend

☽ while the other is the emo boyfriend

☽ and i hope you know who is which

☽ if you don't then i also think it's pretty visible in the picture above :D

☽ do you want a clingy boyfriend? jisung

☽ you want a chill boyfriend that can be cuddly when he want to be? jihoon

☽ you want a crazy loverboy? jisung

☽ you want someone who rarely initiates conversation and won't really talk to you? jihoon

☽ jkjk we know he's a big loverboy under all that 'coldness'... unless?

☽ jisung's really clingy

☽ he loves the affection you give him

☽ jihoon is more of an unreadable person if i have to say so

☽ he's not really the biggest fan of affections but if you give it to him then he'll take it-

☽ PDA? omg jisung is like the KING of pda in this relationship

☽ he sees you; nose: kith. eyes: kith. cheecks: kith. and lastly lips: kithh

☽ jihoon is more reserved with his pda

☽ he's more of a pinky-pinky hand holding

☽ or a hand on your waist kinda thing

☽ tours? hmm let's see

☽ both of them are in different groups which is a plus but it can also be a minus thing ㅠㅠ

☽ their groups (can/may) go to tours at about the same time which is like torture for you-

☽ there are times when they tour at different timings too tho

☽ jisung is the type to call you every break he has between every concert

☽ he's also the type to just video call you the whole day just to feel like he's doing everything with you like he usually does

☽ jihoon is more of a texting type (but he does call from time to time)

☽ he's more of a "hey have you eaten?" or "hey have you finished this task you had left yet?" kind of person

☽ he calls you at in his off days to keep you company

☽ jihoon keeps you on your toes throughout the time he's on tour because he WILL remind you of everything you need to do

☽ since they are both in different companies

☽ and they are very very far way from each other-

☽ lemme just google maps the companies one sec

☽ you have to cross the fucking river to get to the other company

☽ ne ways

☽ it gets very hard to visit the both of them at times

☽ they spend so much time at the studio ㅠㅠ

☽ you tend to take care of the both of them in different ways

☽ you know chan and changbin are always around with jisung

☽ so you just text them or call them if jisung ain't picking his phone up

☽ just text either of them a "hey have ya'lls eaten" and they'll be running their asses to go eat

☽ you're like a mom to straykids at times lol

☽ but you need extra attention for jihoon since he sits alone in his studio

☽ you actually go and visit him to make sure he's eating and sleeping well

☽ i feel like you'd sometimes beg them to release a mixtape together

☽ spoiler warning: they already have made multiple-

☽ couple items are like a must with jisung

☽ which is why jihoon is naturally pulled through too

☽ the first time you went shopping for couple no throuple items

☽ jihoon almost threw a tantrum because there was no way he was going to have to wear another ring

☽ but thankfully you all stuck with the more simple stuff like bracelets and earrings

☽ you do have throuple clothes like matching hoodies and sweatshirts

sexy time les go

☽ ugh the dynamic *chefs kiss*

☽ jisung is a true switch

☽ he goes with the flow lmao

☽ jihoon is a hard dom

☽ can sub but only after multiple attempts of begging at him

☽ kinks are a big thing in this relationship

☽ sensory deprivation, overstimulation and orgasm denial

☽ these are just a few

☽ oh and role playing is a big thing with this duo

☽ but the problem is you all don’t really get to indulge in it properly because of the limited time you three have with each other since they have busy schedules

☽ but when you do have time

☽ you all go full out.

☽ oh and the safe words all of you use are very cute (courtesy of jisung lmao)

☽ i think that’s it!

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

[blackenedwhite97]

Pregnant Panic- Poly! Erasermic x Reader

Hello! this was a requested fic from quite some time ago. I'll be catching up at some point, i'm in my final year of university so update will be more spaced out for the next few months.

Content Warning: Discussions of paternity, some medically accurate potentially a little gross conversations and mentions and depictions of anxiety and panic.

This story includes and Polyamorous relationship

Polyamory: the practice of engaging in multiple sexual relationships with the consent of all the people involved.

It was killing them. You’d think with how tired and unwell Shouta looked and how uncomfortable Hizashi seemed that they were the pregnant ones. Shouta was the most stressed you’d ever seen him, not because he didn’t want a child but because he was scared he’d be a bad father. You’d stayed up many late nights with him, looking out at the dark city skyline through the living room window, him drumming up ways he’d fail as a father and you countering them with rationale and reassurance. He wanted to be there, he wanted to be present. You all knew he was around the least; he was a teacher during the day and a full-time hero at night. Hizashi was usually home at night, at least.

Hizashi wanted two things. The first, to be as good of a dad as he knew Shouta was going to be. The second, to know which one of them had knocked you up. Hizashi, unlike Shouta had full confidence in Shouta’s ability as a father. Hizashi also had confidence in his own ability to be a father. Yet, and you assumed it was natural, the two of them compared themselves to each other constantly. They both felt like they had to fill a role that was usually filled by only one parent, a father. In regard to his second wish: It was driving him insane. Hizashi didn’t want to know for the reason of ascertaining who the “real” dad was, it was more of a who’s quirk we might have to deal with.

While it’s not a given that a child’s quirk is going to be the same as your parents, it’s still a possibility. A possibility some families count on so greatly that they arrange marriages based on quirk compatibility to keep their bloodline strong and on the top tiers of society. Your little mismatched family never worried about that sort of thing, whether this child was a telekinetic like you, made your ears bleed when they threw a tantrum like Hizashi or could shut his dad up like Shouta, or even if they were quirkless you’d all love them with every fiber of your beings.

This was going to be one lucky kid.

Hizashi was squirming around in his chair, his legs going from being slung over the arm rest to being tucked underneath him. Shouta was as still as a statue save the tip of his boot where his toes were wiggling with nervous energy. Hizashi shifted his position for the umpteenth time, his legs swinging around towards Shouta, their knees bumping. Shouta shot out his hand and gripped Hizashi’s knee, holding him in place.

“Stop squirming.” He grumbled.

Hizashi stilled and slumped back, splaying his limbs out dramatically. “Babe, come here.”

Hizashi looked slide long at you through his lashes and a grinned, waving you over.

“Sure, yeah. Hold on, lemme just-” you placed a hand under your swollen stomach as if that would help carry any of the weight and hopped off the examination table. You landed in a wide stance, almost losing your balance from the nearly one-foot drop. It was pitiful, since you’d started to really show it was almost like all of your hero training went straight out the door. Mind you, your hips were wider than they’d ever been, and you were twenty-seven pounds heavier than you’d ever been. You also constantly had a little critter kicking you in your bladder, which was very new.

You waddled towards Hizashi, the smallest of grins pulling at Shouta’s mouth as he watched you. He found your knew range of mobility highly entertaining. You stopped just short of Hizashi’s wildly splayed out feet, nudging one with the toe of your shoe.

“Can you stand behind me for a sec?’ Hizashi sat up straight. “I wanna try something.”

“Okay?” you raised an eyebrow but waddled around him anyways.

As soon as you were behind him he leaned back in his chair and propped his head back on your belly. He closed his eyes and sighed in contentment. “Now, I’m comfy.”

You stared down at him as he fought a stupid grin, trying to keep his face serene. Goof. “I’m glad our kid is already good for something.” You sighed, stroking the top if Hizashi’s head and smoothing his hair back.

Shouta blinked, his brows knitting together. “You are such a dad already.”

“Been practicing!” Hizashi quipped, shooting up and snapping one of his fingers into a gun.

Shouta rolled his eyes but couldn’t help himself and chuckled.

The door to the examination room opened and in walked a kind looking older woman with deep smile lines and dark shining eyes. She looked like she worked with babies for a living, there was a pure unadulterated kindness about her. “Mrs. Y/L/N?”

“Hi, yeah that’s me.” You turned towards her and stretched out a hand.

She took it with a smile and eyed the two men in the chairs. “Which one of you is the father?”

The three of you had agreed when this all started happening for the sake of appointments that weren’t with doctors you’d be seeing regularly Shouta was going to be the father. It was hard enough explaining that the three of you were together romantically anyways, add a baby in and the fact that you don’t know which one of them was the biological father and you have a proper scandal. Out of the three of you Hizashi was the most recognizable and had the closest thing you could equivalate to a fan base so Shouta felt that in order to keep a sense of privacy around all of this he’d be the place holder father. You’re doctor and OB GYN both understood the whole situation, of course they needed to. Both had been in favor of a paternity during the pregnancy, which you had wanted to fore go until after the birth. At this point in the pregnancy it would have to be an invasive test and with this being your first child the three of you were so nervous you didn’t want to even consider taking that chance.

Shouta cleared his throat and stood up, reaching out for a hand shake as well. “That would be me.”

Hizashi shrunk down in his chair, he had agreed to this prearrangement, but it still stung a bit. You placed a brief set of comforting pats on his shoulder and he straightened up a bit.

“Right,” the kind eyed woman took his hand. “everything seems to be going well and on track. If you wanted to go over specific we could step into another room?”

She eyed Hizashi, and curious look about her. It was probably rare to see a friend sitting in on any sort of appointment. You shook your head and spoke up.

“Oh, he’s here to help us keep track of everything. I have total baby brain and Sho gets… overwhelmed.” You smiled at her reassuringly, trying to normalize the situation.

“O-okay.” She looked down at the clip board in her hand and skimmed the page. “The only thing I would say is out of the ordinary is that all signs are pointing to a later birth than expected. This is completely normal, of course. There are a few options if we feel as though the little one if take their sweet time a little too seriously such as inducing birth.”

You looked down at your swollen belly, your little one didn’t even stir. Why would they want to leave anyways, the little shit was swaddled in warmth and had a direct line to all the caving food you were constantly supplied with. Aside from the waddling, miniscule range of motion, tiny bladder and hip and back pain you didn’t mind being pregnant too much. The boys were totally whipped, which you tried not to take too much advantage of. But you were human and Hizashi was getting really good at baking.

“Inducing how?” Hizashi questioned from his seat.

“W-well,” she looked at you and Shouta for approval before speaking, Shouta nodded. “there are ways to induce labour through hormonal injection as well as more slightingly invasive physical ways, however it all depends on the circumstances. We prefer the less invasive ways for new parents generally speaking.”

Hizashi nodded and there was an awkward silence for a few seconds. The woman looked between the three of you then looked back down at the sheet and began tearing slips off along the perforated lines. “Here are your prescription cards, signed off by Dr. Onishi.”

“Thanks.” You took the slips from her outstretched hands and she slipped out of the room, you could have sworn her polite smile slipped from her face as she closed the door behind her. She sniffed you three out.

“Invasive?” Shouta mumbled. “How invasive?”

Hizashi shrugged as he stood up, grabbing your jacket off the end of the exam table to help you into it. You turned around and let him help you into it, even putting on a jacket was harder when you were this pregnant.

“They’ll stick a plastic hook up my vagina a pop the amniotic sack thing.” You explained, expecting full well the boy’s reactions.

Hizashi shivered violently and let go your jacket, shaking himself out like a dog trying to rid itself of water after a swim. Shouta’s nose flared and his eyes rolled to the side as he frowned.

“Is that painful?” Hizashi asked, his voice still shaky.

“No one on google really said anything about that but it’s safe to assume is they won’t talk about it, it’s not good.” You shrugged.

“Ew.” Hizashi stuck out his tongue like a kid tasting adult food for the first time.

“Yeah, can we uh, stop talking about this?” Shouta, if it had been possible, had paled out. Throughout the pregnancy Shouta had gone from the toughest out of the three of you to the one that was the most squeamish about everything. Sure, Hizashi was over dramatic and very vocal about his thoughts and feelings but he always had been. For Shouta, the idea of your body literally contorting to stabilize itself only for it all the end in hours of screaming, crying and otherworldly pain was too much. Normal injuries? Doable. Anyone could get hurt. Giving birth? That was something only you could do out of the three of you and he didn’t like that.

“Sure.” You smiled at him and he hooked his arm under yours as you all made your way out of the building to the busy street outside.

“What’s up for dinner?” Hizashi asked, pulling up his collar against the wind. The winter was blowing in and Japan was in the early stages of grey skies windows and cool winds, not yet covering in heavy snow and frozen streets.

“Um, I kinda forgot it was my night.” You muttered. If you hadn’t been the pregnant you’d have been subject to a somewhat sarcastic lecture at the hands of Hizashi, but you were practically untouchable now-a-days.

“Let’s just pick up something on the way home.” Shouta grumbled.

“I gotta fill my prescriptions, though. We can just go to the grocery store, there’s a pharmacy in the back.” You said.

“I don’t want to make you cook.” Shouta sniffed, the cold air making his nose run. “Plus, it’s cold as hell and the grocery store is refrigerated, I don’t want you getting sick.”

“Sho I can-” you started to protest.

“Dad has spoken.” Hizashi chimed in, wrapping and arm around your shoulder. “We can split, Y/n and I can head home a grab food on the way, and you can go fill her prescriptions?”

“Nice try, Mr. “I-wear- a jacket- all- the-time-for-fashion”. You go get the pills; we’ll get the food. I’m fucking freezing.” Shouta poked Hizashi in the forehead.

“I can’t help that I like the layered look, Sho.” Hizashi huffed. You turned to his and gave him a peck on the tip of his nose, a dopey grin spreading across his lips. God he was easy to butter up, he was such a glutton for physical affection.

You took off you scarf and wrapped it around his neck and handed him your prescription slips. “Your assignment Present Mic.”

“Aye-Aye, Ma’am.” He saluted dramatically.

“You own me a warm drink when I get home!” he added over his shoulder at Shouta who was already wrapping his arms around you as you waited for the walk signal.

Shouta was a furnace as the best of time and a miniature sum at the worst of times. You’d taken his temperature before, worried that he had fevers or worked himself sick in the early days of your relationship. He was always around the normal base line, he just radiated heat like crazy. You sank back into him and let his thick wavy hair curtain around your face. You looked up and make eye contact with his smoldering dark eyes, a soft smile on his lips.

“Hey.” You said.

“Hey.” He hummed into your hair.

“What do you want to eat?” you asked.

“Hmm,” she closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “something warm.”

The cars came to a halt and the walk chime sounded as the pedestrian light lit up. “Ramen it is.” you chirped and skipped awkwardly froward, your splayed hips not exactly made for such enthusiastic movement. He trailed behind you; your hand clasped in his.

The Ramen shop on the way was the kind of shop you couldn’t eat in; it was a thin rectangular shop with just enough room for a line and the counter. You had never minded before but lately the lack of seating options as you waited was less than ideal. You and Shouta had to make do with leaning into each other, him trying to support you but making a makeshift seat with his thighs while she leaned against the wall. The cashier rang a small bell and called your order number with a polite thank-you. You scuttled to the counter and retrieved the expertly packed bags of lidded ramen bowls.

When you made it back to Shouta he was staring down at his phone, his normal peaceful tiredness replaced by an annoyed alertness. He was frowning and pulling away from the wall.

“What’s wrong?” you asked just in time for him to look up at you.

“Uh, there’s an emergency call for heroes. Like, three blocks from here.” He looked as though if he hadn’t been waiting for you to return he’d have already dashed out of the door. It was in his blood, Shouta was a hero and until one the assholes had knocked you up so were you. The splayed hips somewhat dulled that itch to jump into action, but you could remember how it drove you crazy.

“Go.” You nodded. “I can get home.”

“Y-you’re- really?” he turned towards the door and you could see him winding up like a spring action toy.

“Yes, go!” you waved him off. Without another work he was off, the door swinging in the wake of his exit. Although you hated to admit it, this kid had changed more than just your body. You never worried like you did now. You were never so afraid od the average mission or call turning into something catastrophic, you were paranoid about patrols in good neighborhood and rescuing cats from trees. Shouta literally rescued a cat the other night and when he was telling you about it all you could see was him toppling out of the tree and getting hurt. Whenever one of them left for work they would be setting up times to check in, and Hizashi being the chronically late guy that he is had to suddenly start keeping track of time. You didn’t want to raise this kid without either of them and while you all knew full well that it was a possibility with the life you all lived, it still terrified you to no end.

You tried to calm yourself as you stepped out onto the street, people were still milling about, and there was no thirty-foot inferno to speak of so things couldn’t have been that bad. You waddled the rest of the way home, bags of soup sloshing around in your hands, trying to stay calm. You weren’t doing very well. Usually you had at least one of the boys with you or they were together but no doubt Hizashi also had gotten the message. You groaned to yourself, knowing full well he’d also responded.

Your hands were shaking, hoping it was just the cold you rooted around in your pockets for your keys. Getting them in the door was an experience, both frustrating and upsetting in the only the way a pregnant person can attest to. Were the tears running down your face because you couldn’t get the key in the door or because you were a walking rage pile or hormones and anxiety? You whipped angrily at your tears and shoved open the building door, warm air washing over you. At least it was warm.

The building got more and more blurry as you made your way to your apartment, tears fulling your eyes until the lights were just wavering streaks. You were huffing breaths into what felt like air starved lungs, sobs pounding against your cheat trying to break free. You choked them down and rushed through our door, leaving the ramen in the hallway as you slammed the door shut behind you.

You really didn’t feel like being very very pregnant and having a panic attack. You started to pace around, running your hand through the soft blanket across the back of the couch and pressing your palms to the cool counter top as you went back and forth between eh kitchen and living room. Some tears fell but your eyes dried and soon enough your lungs stopped convulsing for air. You were still shaking and a knot was still tight in your gut but you had for the time being subdued the panic. With this new clarity you went you your room and pulled out you professional phone, the battery low having not been used in weeks.

You had also received the distress signal:

10 Ave and 4 St. Grand villain activity: League of Villain members sited at scene of disturbance. Requesting all back up in immediate area. Priority: Containment.

League of Villains. You’re stomach dropped, almost painfully. You gripped onto the sheets of the bed as you slid to your knees, panic rising in your chest again. You knew they were among other heroes, that Hizashi wasn’t a frontline fighter and Shouta would have a horde of heroes trying the keep him in play. You knew this. You also knew them, and that they could be stupid. Shouta had climbed a Goddamned tree the other night FOR A CAT. He could have fallen and died for a CAT. You choked down another sob. Hizashi was always the centre of attention and he did it on purpose. What if he tried to distract the villains and got hurt doing it? He’d done that once before on a mission and came home with a nasty concussion.

What if it was worse this time? What if the League was more organized?

You choked on another sob.

Warm arms wrapped around you and you jumped, trying to pull away.

“Hey, whoa, babe it’s me.” Hizashi hummed calmly. “Shh, it’s okay. It’s Zashi.”

He brought a hand to your head and held you against his chest, scooting closer to you in his crouching position. He kissed the top of your head and rubbed circles into your hair with his thumb and held you like that until you were able to calm yourself. “What happened?”

“I got scared.” You sniffed. “And I’m pregnant.”

“Oh.” Hizashi chuckled, pulling back to look at you. His nose was still rosy from the cold and his hair was swept back in messy waves. “Sorry.”

“You should be.” You punched him the shoulder, once for every word.

“Ow!” he whined, holding his arms up in defense.

“You did this to me!” you wailed. Irrational, yes. Cathartic? Also, yes.

“I refuse to take ownership until we get that paternity test!” he laughed somersaulting away from you.

You were just about to give him a piece of your pregnant mind when you heard Sho enter the apartment and trip over a set of paper bags.

“Y/N?” he called. “Hun? Are you, okay?’

Hizashi jumped to his feet and darted out of the room, shouting wildly. “She’s angry!”

You tried to push yourself up to your feel but couldn’t, slumping back down onto the carpeted floor next to the bed. The threw your hands up in the air frustrated, all that panic from earlier having left your body. Being pregnant was a wild ride, whatever you felt was so strong and so consuming at the time, but it could fade just a quickly as it came.

“I’m stuck!” you pouted.

Shouta crept into the door frame, Hizashi hiding behind him. The two of them melting at the sight of you slumped, cross legged on the floor, belly swollen, unable to move. Shouta grinned, that same entertained grin from earlier. He made his way to you and grabbed your hands hauling you to your feet. You slumped into him, reaching out a hand to motion for Hizashi to join in. Not one to pass up a good group hug Hizashi happily wrapped his long gangling arms around you and Shout, ignoring your grunts and he squeezed.

“That didn’t take long.” You mumbled into Shouta’s chest.

“Illusion base quirk, I erased it and it turned out to be a bunch of low levels trying to make a scene to get away with some cash.” Shouta explained. “You okay?”

You nodded and hummed into his chest.

“You sure? There’s soup in the hallway.” His whiskers rubbed against your forehead.

“The baby got scared.” You muttered.

“Oh?” he hummed, as if in thought. He pulled away from you and knelt down, so he was level with you belly. “Listen up little one, there’s nothing in this world that your parents can’t handle so don’t so around worrying us like that okay?”

Hizashi stooped down and eyed your belly very seriously. “Especially, your mom. She’s already doing all the heavy lifting, dude!”

You dropped your face into your hands a laughed. Yeah, this was one lucky kid.

[boneswriteswords]

Could you do a poly!modern! Lost boys x reader? (Also I’m here if you ever need to talk❤️)

This ask watered my crops and cleared my acne. Thank you. This was pretty fun to write. Head canons are a lot less stressful for me because I’m not too focused on my writing style. 

Hope you like it!

~~~~

- Okay listen up all you baby bats, these boys 100% have a youtube channel. They share one channel and all do different things, from commentary to gaming to history. There is a calendar and schedule of who records and uploads on what days. They all like the attention they get from it because they are attention whores.

    - They have also tried to get you on their channel. They established really early on that they were in a poly relationship and that they had a fifth partner but whether you decide to make an appearance on the channel is 100% up to you. They don’t use your name without permission and only talk about you using various nicknames.

    - If you do decide to make an appearance, they are all so happy about it. Marko and Paul will definitely try and do one of those couple videos where you answer questions about the relationship but will also derail it completely like the chaotic little gremlins they are.  

- David hates cellphones but he likes the easy access he has to you and the boys. He does not give out his number so his only contacts are you, the boys, and Max. Paul has a billion contacts but mainly uses it for games and booty calls. Dwayne has all the important apps on his phone - Lyft, Postmates, Starbucks, Spotify, Audible, etc. - because he is responsible. Marko uses his phone to take photos and gather art inspiration. Every single of one your phone backgrounds are of the group together in various ways.

      - (David highkey believes his photo is the best. You and the other boys had passed out in an adorable puppy pile beside (and on top of) him and he had tilted the camera so he could get all five of you in the photo. He has the softest smile on his face.)

    - (Paul argues that his is the best because its a collage of all his partners in various states of undress. How he got David to send a nude is beyond your understanding.)

- Speaking of nuuudddeeess.....

      - Paul is bad about it. The worst. The other boys send them too but no one can open a message from Paul in public because chances are there is a nude. He hands them out to you all like candy.

     - Surprisingly Dwayne is also a big fan of sending nudes but he does them artfully. His lighting and angle are always on point and its more of ‘look at how hot your boyfriend is’ as opposed to ‘I’m horny, wanna fuck?’ He knows he looks good, he knows his partners know he looks good, and he likes to remind his partners that he is attractive for them and only them.

     - And lemme tell you something really fast. The first time that YOU send THEM a nude or sexy photo, it was a lot for them. They couldn’t handle it. It was a giant collective ERROR message. They didn’t know what to do. You were too hot. Too sexy. David still has no idea how to react to that photo.

     - ALSO!!! Never send a nude when you are gone away from the home. You did that once and you had them risking daylight to come get your ass.

- Marko is a meme goblin and no I don’t take criticism and will not elaborate. Just know that he likes memes, hoards memes, makes memes, and has been put in the time-out closet for memes.

- This is about to get NSFW for a sec so hold on.

     - David and Marko are the ones who really enjoy using modern sex toys. David is big on domination, control, edging, and the like. Marko is a big ole subby boy who wants nothing more than to be tied up and fucked. They like experimenting with all the things that come out and they drag you, Paul, and Dwayne along for the ride. (Don’t worry, its actually a really fun one, I promise.)

    - Dwayne absolutely loves when one of you call him just to tell him all the dirty things you have planned for him and then hanging up so do it as much as possible. Ok? Ok.

    - Paul is a chaotic horny baby. He likes it gentle. He likes it rough. He likes praise. He likes punishment. He likes damn near everything and will try absolutely anything so please watch him to make sure he doesn’t find something dumb on the internet.

- Okay, ending NSFW. For now.....

- They hate when you aren’t all together - because, lets face it, they are codependent as fuck - but Skype and Facetime have made it easier for them to handle when one of their own is gone. Its harder when its you that is gone because you are the newest addition, the youngest of them, but none of them will ever admit it.

    - David, especially, will never admit that he cannot handle when you or one of his boys are gone. He hates feeling like he can’t protect you, that he can’t be there to intervene if something happens, but he keeps it to himself.

   - You all know anyway and make sure to give him extra attention when you come back.

- You have a paper on your corkboard of all your streaming accounts and passwords because no one knows who signed up for what anymore. Netflix, Amazon, Hulu, Disney +, etc - no one knows who has what and sometimes the passwords need to be reentered. You - however - are in charge of taking care of any and all bills. You have their cards and pin numbers.

      - If you are sick or unavailable, Dwayne does it.

      - If you and Dwayne can’t do it, there is a doc on your shared google drive labeled ‘emergencies’ that the other three can use.

- There are certain shows and/or series that you all watch together and no one is allowed to move ahead without the others. Its an unspoken rule that hasn’t been broken thus far but the intensity of this rule implies that there will be negative consequence for those who break it. A big one.

- They all play Pokemon Go. Paul and Marko are yellow. David is red. Dwayne is blue. They all sneak away to take each other’s gyms because they’re assholes. You play but you aren’t on one of the colored teams just to piss them off.

~~~~

END

~~~~

[verdigrisprowl]

Sept 11 Dancitron Movie Night - The Matrix

Once the eerily Patch-esque tech came out, Prowl basically didn’t move the whole movie. And so nobody talked to him. It’s your own fault, Prowl.

ItsyBitsySpyers 7:53 pm *Snacks are laid out as per usual, as are the chairs. Soundwave is partially turned in his seat, just enough to let him keep one foot on the ground and the other on the seat with him; he seems to be in a pleasant enough mood.*

*Rumble and Frenzy are bickering over a pile of small discs sitting between them.*

*None of the others are here.* FakeProwl 7:58 pm *Appears, checks to make sure there isn't a Shockwave in his usual spot, and sits.* Tarantulas 7:59 pm *believe it or not, Tarantulas is going to show up a bit early today, slouching his way toward Soundwave and Prowl - room for a spide?* Swoop 8:01 pm *runs in full speed only to slide across the floor like Tom Cruise* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:01 pm *Ping hello. Complete with feeler tendrils wave.*

*Soundwave pats a spot next to himself and nods to Tarantulas. Welcome.* //Listen, Swoop, if ya wanted an introduction music, ya shoulda asked ahead.// Swoop 8:01 pm *skitters here, there, and everywhere* Huh? FakeProwl 8:01 pm *Greeting/permission ping.* Swoop 8:01 pm Oh Keheehee Where Bird?? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:02 pm [[...Recovering. She - had a minor shock.]] Swoop 8:03 pm ????? Shock????? *immediately starts to head for upstairs* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:03 pm *Will let him go. Swoop knows how to act up there.* boomtank 8:03 pm -is here now- Swoop 8:03 pm *later losers he's got a bird to investigate* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:04 pm [[Greetings, Blaster. Tired again?]] ((TEN MINUTE WARNING get your whatever you need now)) FakeProwl 8:04 pm *Laserbeak electrocuted Prowl quite thoroughly. What kind of shock would it take to harm HER?* @Soundwave «Is she significantly damaged?» boomtank 8:05 pm Hey, Soundwave...not really tired. Stressed. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:05 pm @Prowl: [[...She spent two hours complaining that she'd gone blind from seeing Bonecrusher's array, but it was a lie.]] @Prowl: [[She will be fine.]] FakeProwl 8:06 pm ... *very casually leans forward and laces his hands in front of his mouth.* Tarantulas 8:06 pm *whatwhat, sitting next to Soundwave would mean not next to Prowl... but Soundwave offered, so why not. Tara will be sprawling and starting to take over half of Soundwave's lap* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:06 pm [[You really must get away for a while, Blaster. Take a weekend somewhere.]] FakeProwl 8:07 pm @Soundwave «You'll have to let me know when YOU'RE on monitor duty.» boomtank 8:07 pm Considering the last time I 'took time off' I ended up stranded in a different timeline... ItsyBitsySpyers 8:07 pm *Soundwave moves his arms out of the way to allow this to happen. It's a little late to be complaining about a spider in his personal space all things considered.* boomtank 8:08 pm I think that's bad for my health Tarantulas 8:08 pm *yisss. accept the spide, sw* Swoop 8:08 pm *is absolutely ready able and willing to exact revenge however Bird wants it, give him a direction he'll do whatever* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:08 pm [[...Find a better travel agent.]] *Bird will cling to Swoop like the many, many barnacles loosed upon this world.* @Prowl: [[...He can arrange for you to find that out.]] boomtank 8:10 pm -snorts in laughter- I'll look for one ItsyBitsySpyers 8:10 pm [[Cozy, Tarantulas?]] Tarantulas 8:10 pm *an arm's reached over sw's lap to pet at prowl's leg* Prowllll FakeProwl 8:11 pm @Soundwave «I'd appreciate it. ... More importantly, I think Laserbeak would appreciate it.» Swoop 8:11 pm *omg bird hug <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 he will volunteer to murder people and burn down buildings more often if this is what happens* Tarantulas 8:11 pm *cozy enough to gently swat at sw's visor for that comment, apparently* FakeProwl 8:11 pm *Pats idly at Tarantulas's claw.* Yes? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:12 pm *Jolts back a bit. No touch the visor.* FakeProwl 8:13 pm *Sudden movement? Glances over.* Tarantulas 8:13 pm *snickering at sw, mentally reassures him no harm intended* boomtank 8:13 pm -settles on a chair, pulls out datapad- ItsyBitsySpyers 8:13 pm *As long as Swoop doesn't ACTUALLY burn buildings and murder while he's here, that's fine.* Tarantulas 8:14 pm *to prowl* ...Helloooo. *keeps petting his leg* FakeProwl 8:14 pm ... Hello. Swoop 8:14 pm *that is 100% Bird's decision kthx* *would totally go down stairs and start tearing limbs off if she wanted fyi* Bevel 8:15 pm *arrives with a very loud clatter as she drops the screwdriver she had been trying to tuck into a storage compartment in her arm, like you do* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:15 pm *She does not want. But she will go downstairs with him. Just keep her away from Prowl.* Swoop 8:15 pm *dude fuck prowl* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:15 pm *No, that's her Boss.* FakeProwl 8:15 pm *no thanks, he had plenty last night.* Bevel 8:16 pm *omg* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:16 pm [[Cold hands, Bevel?]] Swoop 8:16 pm *skitters back downstairs with Bird, making a beeline for the treats, boy knows what's up* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:16 pm *She has him well-trained* Bevel 8:17 pm I think I have too much stuff in here. *picks up the screwdriver and walks over to a free table so she can start pulling things out of her arm* Tarantulas 8:18 pm *to prowl* I haven't seen you in so lonnng. You ought to come visit more often. Swoop 8:18 pm ...... *sets Bird on his crest so he can steal two arms worth of treats* FakeProwl 8:18 pm I'm here every week. Tarantulas 8:18 pm But I'M not necessarily here every week. Besides, it only half-counts. FakeProwl 8:18 pm YOU ought to come visit more often. Tarantulas 8:19 pm I - I can't visit you, Prowl. FakeProwl 8:19 pm I meant here. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:19 pm ((here are the belated warnings: little bit of body horror type stuff, violence, drugs, uhhh, somewhat outdated Edge that was mold breaking at the time, mind control???)) ((and now if we're all ready?)) Swoop 8:19 pm *makes several trips around, grabbing stuff and depositing it as far from Prowl as possible while still debtably being able to see the screen, it's halfassed blanket fort time, Bird can snack while he proceeds to pile things "properly"* Tarantulas 8:20 pm (( ready! boomtank 8:20 pm ((all good best decepticon leader 8:20 pm (ready ItsyBitsySpyers 8:21 pm [[As long as you get it all cleaned before you leave.]] *Lazy wave at Bevel.* Bevel 8:21 pm Will do! ItsyBitsySpyers 8:21 pm ((remember: NO SPOILERS)) Tarantulas 8:21 pm As I said - half-counts. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:22 pm *Ooh, a blanket fort. She likes these. Peep peep Bird out the entrance.* FakeProwl 8:22 pm ((*resists urge to be smartass and share fake spoilers*)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:22 pm ((*swat*)) Bevel 8:23 pm *this table is now covered in stuff* Swoop 8:24 pm *bird is so cute how does she even aahhhhh* FakeProwl 8:24 pm ((is it just me or is the sound really off?)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:24 pm ((hmmm... hold on)) Bevel 8:24 pm ((it sounds really staticky or something FakeProwl 8:24 pm ((it's like everything EXCEPT the dialogue is loud.)) Bevel 8:24 pm ((hope it's not a netflix thing ItsyBitsySpyers 8:25 pm ((it was fine when i screened it earlier this week...)) FakeProwl 8:25 pm ((i like that "family-friendly disney girl power movies" is a whole category unto itself)) ((maybe try switching the audio track to another language and back?)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:25 pm ((hmm. one sec y'all)) FakeProwl 8:27 pm ((sounds like it's not just matrix)) Bevel 8:27 pm ((yeeeah ItsyBitsySpyers 8:27 pm ((*sighs* lemme google something)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:30 pm ((i'm gonna end room and restart, y'all come back in like. three minutes?)) Tarantulas 8:30 pm (( aye aye capn boomtank 8:30 pm ((kay best decepticon leader 8:30 pm ((yep

xxxxxxxx

ItsyBitsySpyers 8:35 pm ((please hold while we regather people)) FakeProwl 8:36 pm ((*is hold*)) Bevel 8:36 pm ((*holds* Swoop 8:36 pm *is holding Bird, which is similar but still pretty noncompliant and thus appropriately dinobot* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:38 pm ((i think we're just missing whirl and boomtank now?)) boomtank 8:40 pm ((-skids in- ItsyBitsySpyers 8:40 pm ((one more to go. THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR PATIENCE at least it's not as bad as LS)) Tarantulas 8:41 pm *nudges prowl with a claw* But it only HALF counts. I don't have you all to myself here. *believe it or not, soundwave, tarantulas is radiating mostly innocent intent* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:41 pm *He'll choose to believe it, mostly because he's certain Tarantulas isn't dense enough to be rude like that while actually across his lap.* ((THERE WE GO and here we go)) Swoop 8:42 pm *has officially created a movie nest (yes there is blue thank you for asking) and settles in with Bird and treats, doing his best to not pancake her while also blocking Prowl's stupid face with his wings* FakeProwl 8:42 pm Pff. Fine. We have some matters we need to discuss anyway. Whirl 8:42 pm ((OKAY what did i miss i see it's only been a few minutes)) Tarantulas 8:42 pm *mystified* Do we? Guest 8:42 pm Ouch ItsyBitsySpyers 8:42 pm ((someone asked if a line was clean, that someone is her, they're here to arrest her, you're caught up)) Whirl 8:43 pm ((omg it's the mom from Fido)) ((THANK)) Bevel 8:44 pm ((this makes me want to watch the matrix anime thing, that thing was weird and cool af ItsyBitsySpyers 8:44 pm *The easiest way for Bird not to be pancaked is to perch on Swoop. There.* FakeProwl 8:44 pm *always with the beating up the police.* Swoop 8:44 pm *lays on his tummy and is a : > * best decepticon leader 8:44 pm I was not aware that humans have that kind of abilty ItsyBitsySpyers 8:44 pm [[They do not.]] Whirl 8:44 pm *slinks in, making his way for his usual table; he's a little scruffy and he's carrying some kind of heavy canvas bag, but otherwise doesn't look to have been held up by anything unusual* boomtank 8:44 pm ....yikes Bevel 8:44 pm Is this a fantasy movie? Swoop 8:45 pm Her jump FakeProwl 8:45 pm *Tarantulas sounds a little TOO baffled.* ... It's been forty-eight hours. best decepticon leader 8:45 pm ah, so this is exaggerated, or is she not human Guest 8:45 pm you're not human ItsyBitsySpyers 8:45 pm [[He does not know. This was recommended to Wheeljack by Miko, and from him to Rumble. From Rumble to us.]] Tarantulas 8:46 pm AH. Yes. I... hyeh, wasn't keeping track. Bevel 8:46 pm *that's a lot of movie rec telephone* boomtank 8:46 pm What...just happened? best decepticon leader 8:46 pm Maybe the original person thought it was terrible Bevel 8:46 pm She teleported? FakeProwl 8:46 pm Then I take it you have no objections. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:47 pm *Glances between Prowl and Tarantulas, but doesn't ask what's going on. Yet.* //Oooooh.// ItsyBitsySpyers 8:47 pm *Rumble catches sight of Whirl and runs over. Gonna poke the bag with a claw.* Swoop 8:47 pm Matrix is Prime thing But not this Matrix Whirl 8:47 pm *perks up and bosb his head enthusiastically* Hey, mech. Swoop 8:47 pm This one is movie thing : > best decepticon leader 8:47 pm what is a white rabbit? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:47 pm [[Earth beast.]] [[Small prey. Round, long legs, long ears.]] Whirl 8:48 pm *looks down as the bag is poked* Traveling supplies. I came straight here. Bevel 8:48 pm Tiny. *holds fingers about a foot apart* best decepticon leader 8:48 pm sounds ugly ItsyBitsySpyers 8:48 pm //You gonna need a refill?// Guest 8:48 pm no, that's a sugar ant ItsyBitsySpyers 8:48 pm *He'll scoop the bag overhead if Whirl lets him* Tarantulas 8:49 pm Of course I don't have any objections. Swoop 8:49 pm R&R means off duty FakeProwl 8:49 pm Good. We'll get to work soon. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:49 pm \\AW YEAH, THE MUSIC.\\ Whirl 8:49 pm *if Rumble wants to take his bag and stow it, Whirl will let him* refill? I've got food, if that's whatcha mean. But-- *wryly* I operate under a constant willingness to be refilled on booze. Bevel 8:49 pm ((*flashbacks hard to Twisted Metal* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:49 pm @Prowl: [[Work?]] Whirl 8:49 pm ...Frenzy, this isn't MUSIC. Ugh. best decepticon leader 8:50 pm *covers ears* Guest 8:50 pm Good music FakeProwl 8:50 pm *Leans his upper arm against Soundwave's, rests a hand on Tarantulas's chest.* Swoop 8:51 pm It dance party like Bird dance party? FakeProwl 8:51 pm @Soundwave «Starting a new project.» ItsyBitsySpyers 8:51 pm //Food, other stuff... but sure. Lil bit.// He'll drop the bag near Whirl's usual spot and go running over to the bar. Gonna get something super tart. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:51 pm {{Bird's music better. Dance fun dance.}} Swoop 8:51 pm What fun dance? Keheh Tarantulas 8:51 pm *purrs in assent. work. good* Bevel 8:52 pm That music sounded fun. Whirl 8:52 pm *watches him go, honestly a little startled by how extra attentive he's being. It makes sense considering--well. Considering. But Whirl's kind of pleasantly baffled by it* Swoop 8:52 pm Autobot say Dinobot have problem with authority ItsyBitsySpyers 8:52 pm @Prowl: [[He recalls a talk about discussing projects with others first. That was also done?]] Swoop 8:52 pm It true ItsyBitsySpyers 8:53 pm \\ME TOO.\\ FakeProwl 8:53 pm *Prowl's completely sure that the humans are working with a different definition of a familiar word, but he can't help but feel like this is a movie about a bunch of hackers trying to figure out what the Matrix of Leadership is.* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:53 pm *Rumble trots back over with two cubes, scaled to size of course.* boomtank 8:53 pm ..... Yep, lost me Whirl 8:54 pm Thanks. *he'll scoop his up and kick back* Swoop 8:54 pm kehehehheh Him funny running scared ItsyBitsySpyers 8:54 pm *Wonders where the caller is watching him from. This is his idea of interesting content.* FakeProwl 8:54 pm @Soundwave «In this context, no need. I'm transferring a project over to Tarantulas that I'd previously been working on with someone else.» Swoop 8:55 pm KEHEHHHEHHEHEHEH boomtank 8:55 pm Is he being directed by this other guy? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:55 pm *Leans into the arm and drapes one of his own over Tarantulas' legs. He nods. Good, then.* Bevel 8:55 pm *Bevel is pretty sure this movie is gonna be about magic or something* Swoop 8:55 pm Him bad at sneaking AND running boomtank 8:55 pm To keep from dying? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:55 pm [[He seems to be.]] Tarantulas 8:55 pm *yesssss tarantulas has inspired a cuddle pile. exactly as planned* boomtank 8:55 pm Sounds like no fun -hides face- Bevel 8:56 pm ((ugh this scene nope FakeProwl 8:56 pm *... curls his fingers in Tarantulas's setae.* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:56 pm \\LOOKS FUN.\\ boomtank 8:56 pm -heights nope- Swoop 8:56 pm Him not flier. That bad. Him flier, it no big deal at aaaaaaalllll. Now him scaredy baby. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:56 pm //Coward.// Whirl 8:56 pm The wind like that--between buildings? It can be pretty gnarly. So in short--yep. Absolutely fun. Though, only very skilled fliers can handle it. Of course. *smugly takes a sip--and pauses, tilting his head* Huh. I can just about taste this one. What didya call it? *looks to Rumble* FakeProwl 8:57 pm Wow. A sensible character. Bevel 8:57 pm Humans go squish when they fall from that high. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:57 pm //I ain't named it yet. Me 'n Frenzy found it screwin' around with leftovers. Missin' somethin' though. Dunno what.// ItsyBitsySpyers 8:58 pm *Well, this is familiar.* *...Sort of. In a falsified way.* FakeProwl 8:58 pm *......... curl curl curl.* Tarantulas 8:59 pm *paw on prowl's hand in the setae??* Whirl 8:59 pm *sips again, and when he lowers his head he peers intently at the glass* Hmm. ...I mean, I'm probably honestly not the best person to offer drink advice. I'd just say... more sour. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:59 pm *Softly replays the "Irrelevant" a couple times in his head. He likes the way that was said.* Swoop 8:59 pm Him sound sleepy. Jump over table! Tear off face. WIN! Bevel 8:59 pm *laughs* Whirl 8:59 pm *snickers* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:00 pm //Heh. Can do.// boomtank 9:00 pm ....? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:00 pm [[...?]] [[He can clearly speak. He was just sp--]] Guest 9:00 pm what Whirl 9:00 pm Not sure that it'll be potable for anyone except ME after the recipe adjustm---wh. *blinks* Guest 9:00 pm hsdkja Bevel 9:00 pm ...magic? Swoop 9:00 pm Oh boomtank 9:00 pm !!!!! ItsyBitsySpyers 9:00 pm *Leeeeeeans back* Guest 9:00 pm what ??? Swoop 9:00 pm Him face melt FakeProwl 9:00 pm *This authority figure who was working with the police seems reputable, he's probably going to be a villain and Prowl's not going... to...* Bevel 9:00 pm *pretty sure this movie is about magic yep* FakeProwl 9:00 pm *well that COMPLETELY changes Prowl's expectations about this movie.* Swoop 9:01 pm Him have knife That easy fix keheh ItsyBitsySpyers 9:01 pm [[...What in Quintus' ribbons is that.]] Guest 9:01 pm this brings back memories. hell of a party Tarantulas 9:01 pm *squinting REAL hard what the heck* Swoop 9:01 pm ??? Whirl 9:01 pm It was kinda cute. boomtank 9:01 pm Nope FakeProwl 9:01 pm ... That's not actually an orifice. Things are not supposed to go in there. Swoop 9:01 pm Shrimp boomtank 9:01 pm nonononoooo Swoop 9:01 pm It fish ItsyBitsySpyers 9:01 pm [[...It tore his abdomen open?]] Guest 9:01 pm I bet you know all about human orifices, Prowl ItsyBitsySpyers 9:01 pm {{That not fish! That machine.}} Swoop 9:01 pm Fish machine Swim in Him GUTS Bevel 9:02 pm Tracking device! Swoop 9:02 pm kehehhehhehehhh boomtank 9:02 pm I am...so done already with this movie ItsyBitsySpyers 9:02 pm [[Do you require a space for a break?]] Bevel 9:02 pm Maybe this is like one of those urban fantasy things. Those are cool. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:02 pm [[Hm. It could be.]] Swoop 9:03 pm Shoot him and steal fish ItsyBitsySpyers 9:03 pm \\IT'S NOT A FRAGGIN' FISH, YOU-- AH, NEVER MIND.\\ FakeProwl 9:03 pm *Somewhere back in reality, Prowl's real body is rubbing the back of his neck. Bug crawling into a body, the victim being told he's helping his enemies whether he wants to or not...* boomtank 9:04 pm ....... Guest 9:04 pm ahhhh Whirl 9:04 pm Pfft. Guest 9:04 pm no Whirl 9:04 pm Bugged. Guest 9:04 pm why are humans like this Swoop 9:04 pm Bugged Whirl 9:04 pm Villains with deadly puns. Bevel 9:04 pm Bugged ha. Guest 9:04 pm ahhhghf Swoop 9:04 pm That thing overkill. Me Swoop have knife. Fix easy keheh. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:04 pm [[That is disgusting.]] boomtank 9:05 pm -is it safe to look?- FakeProwl 9:05 pm *It's out. Thank Primus.* boomtank 9:05 pm -he's had his face covered- ItsyBitsySpyers 9:05 pm *It's safe.* //Kinda shabby lookin', ain't it?// Swoop 9:05 pm Him got circle visor boomtank 9:06 pm -peers out at movie- Humans are weird FakeProwl 9:06 pm *... quietly puts his other hand on Tarantulas's shoulder* *curlcurlcurlcurl* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:06 pm *Watches this curling curiously for a second. Looks back to screen.* Swoop 9:06 pm *too much talking, boring, skritches for Bird instead* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:06 pm *Bird hums* Swoop 9:07 pm <3 Tarantulas 9:07 pm *prowl gets another paw on his other hand, not stopping, just resting* Bevel 9:08 pm *stops fiddling with her stuff on the table to listen to what's being said* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:08 pm *...Leans forward a little bit. As an ex-Decepticon, he is, naturally, interested in concepts like these.* Whirl 9:08 pm I dunno, I kind of dig it for some kind of super hi-tech hangout. Has a kind of... 8waves a claw* haunted house appeal. *points* THAT was an excellent shot. Bevel 9:09 pm Rabbit hole. Whirl 9:09 pm Well fraggin' DONE. FakeProwl 9:09 pm *Sounds like the kind of things a radical terrorist cultist would say.* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:09 pm //Whatcha mean, excellent shot?// Whirl 9:09 pm The shot of the guy's glasses, with the hands reflected. And Neo's face. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:10 pm //Oh. The only showin' one hand thing?// Whirl 9:10 pm *nods* Yeah. It was just neat. Good framing. Swoop 9:10 pm *takes two treats, puffs just enough fire to warm up his mouth, then licks both treats and melts them to each other, taDA!* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:10 pm *Nod. He can agree with that.* FakeProwl 9:10 pm ((somewhere offscreen morpheus smacks that guy like "NO, man, we were going with the Wonderland metaphor, not the Oz metaphor.")) ItsyBitsySpyers 9:11 pm *Bird giggles.*

{{Now Swoop got bigger snack, heh.}} *Soundwave tilts his helm.* Swoop 9:11 pm *internal screaming at bird giggles, so much screaming, so cute, what even is happening* Y-yeah <3 ItsyBitsySpyers 9:11 pm ((lol puff)) [[.........What...?]] Swoop 9:12 pm *glances up at the bizarre noise comign from the movie* Bevel 9:12 pm .... boomtank 9:12 pm ....... best decepticon leader 9:12 pm gross boomtank 9:12 pm EW! Whirl 9:12 pm huh. Swoop 9:12 pm kehehehhh gross Tarantulas 9:12 pm *SUPER intrigued* FakeProwl 9:13 pm *Stops curling his fingers. What's all this?* Guest 9:13 pm ?? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:13 pm [[Is this - a storage, or -]] Whirl 9:13 pm A... prison? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:13 pm [[Primus below.]] Tarantulas 9:13 pm This looks strangely like a pink alchemy lab Swoop 9:13 pm him in melty goodie Whirl 9:13 pm Oh, hey, didn't know you were in this movie, Legs. FakeProwl 9:13 pm ... *SMACKS TARANTULAS'S CHEST.* Positive reinforcement prison. Swoop 9:14 pm :V ow ItsyBitsySpyers 9:14 pm *Soundwave huffs at Whirl.* Guest 9:14 pm Ouch Bevel 9:14 pm *agrees with Tara but doesn't say anything* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:14 pm //It trashed him?// boomtank 9:14 pm -covers face again- Tarantulas 9:14 pm Yyyyyeeeeess, somewhat. Mine wouldn't work on organics, though. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:15 pm *Looks down. What is a positive reinforcement prison...?* FakeProwl 9:15 pm Yes, but—same concept, don't you think? Whirl 9:15 pm He got flushed. Like a turd. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:15 pm //...Nasty.// FakeProwl 9:15 pm An artificial reality to hold a prisoner? Tarantulas 9:15 pm I'm not entirely sure it's a POSITIVE reinforcement prison though. Swoop 9:15 pm porcupine ItsyBitsySpyers 9:15 pm \\LOOKS LIKE ME.\\ Wiggles his spines and snickers. Whirl 9:15 pm *SNORTS* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:16 pm \\JUS' HE GOT 'EM ON THE WRONG SIDE.\\ boomtank 9:16 pm -okay, he's seriously done- FakeProwl 9:16 pm Well. Not POSITIVE, maybe. But positive enough to keep him complacent, apparently. If he's never used his eyes before, though... was he in the prison since birth? Tarantulas 9:17 pm Yes, Morpheus said he was born into it FakeProwl 9:17 pm What's the point of imprisoning a newborn? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:17 pm *...Mildly concerned about what he's seeing. Will wait for more information.* Whirl 9:17 pm To keep em from making trouble in the future? Tarantulas 9:17 pm Well, as I posited - pink alchemy, maybe Swoop 9:17 pm *HI PROWL WOULD YOU LIKE TO MEET HIS BROTHERS PERHAPS* FakeProwl 9:17 pm *NO.* Swoop 9:18 pm *but you would get INSIGHT* *into imprisoning newborns* FakeProwl 9:18 pm Pink alchemy... So they're being harvested for fuel? Like livestock? Tarantulas 9:18 pm They could be, although this would be a somewhat boring movie then in my opinion ItsyBitsySpyers 9:19 pm [[...That explains the insult one used. "Coppertop."]] *OH DEAR.* FakeProwl 9:19 pm ... Like a battery. *Goes completely still.* Guest 9:19 pm hahahaha ItsyBitsySpyers 9:19 pm *.........Ohhhhhhhh MINDSCAPES.* Bevel 9:19 pm Whoa Whirl 9:19 pm Hmm. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:19 pm *Slight nudge against the arm leaned into him.* FakeProwl 9:20 pm *Arm is moved slightly with the nudge. Otherwise doesn't move.* Swoop 9:20 pm That Cybertron Whirl 9:21 pm *this is actually kind of interesting, considering some recent trips Whirl has made inside his own mind* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:21 pm *...Ping, status check?*

@Prowl: [[...He did not know.]] Whirl 9:21 pm *PFFT YEP and that's about as pleasant as the real world is vs. the shelter his mind made for himself* Bevel 9:22 pm Oh they are batteries! FakeProwl 9:22 pm *... Ping, rescinding clearance for telepathy.* Tarantulas 9:22 pm ...Aww, I was right. Swoop 9:22 pm It eat best decepticon leader 9:22 pm I seriously doubt humans would be a good battery ItsyBitsySpyers 9:22 pm *Soundwave is motionless himself for a few seconds. Then he nods.* //Nastyyyy.// ItsyBitsySpyers 9:23 pm //Liquid meat.// boomtank 9:23 pm -okay, he's got to go now, he's needed back in his timeline- Whirl 9:23 pm Yeah. That pink alchemy stuff is gross. FakeProwl 9:23 pm @Soundwave «I suppose that's the naturl of consequence of taking recommendations from Wheeljack.» boomtank 9:23 pm G'night. Swoop 9:23 pm What pink alchemy is? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:23 pm *Soundwave pings Bevel. Battery indeed.* Whirl 9:23 pm A technique for refining energon from the corpses of organics. it's a 'Con thing. Swoop 9:24 pm Oh Tarantulas 9:24 pm Oh no, not corpses, mind you boomtank 9:24 pm ((mun is out Bevel 9:24 pm *pings back* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:24 pm @Prowl: (txt): ...Two more, next weeks. Soundwave - expects more, this.

(bye boom mun... take care of yourself)) FakeProwl 9:24 pm ... It's only sometimes corpses. Oftentimes, they're still alive when the harvest begins. *Acknowledging ping.* boomtank 9:24 pm ((thanks for the movie! Swoop 9:24 pm One time, Sludge see, uhhh, thing, kid tv thing. It talk about dinosaur fossil make fuel. Him spook. Keheh. Sludge pretty dumb. Whirl 9:25 pm ((seeya!)) Tarantulas 9:25 pm (( seeya! Whirl 9:25 pm Yeah, that. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:25 pm \\SO THEY JUS' - HOW? ORGANICS DON'T GOT ENERGON.\\ Whirl 9:25 pm Don't ask me, it apparently takes a LOT of them to make a small amount of energon. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:25 pm [[...Not corpses? That is new data to him.]] best decepticon leader 9:25 pm That seems really inefficient FakeProwl 9:25 pm Some kind of chemical conversion. I don't know the science. Whirl 9:25 pm My involvement with the development of pink energon is to find where it happens and slaughter all the 'Cons inside. *shrugs* It's probably in efficient, but things got really slim, during the war. Swoop 9:26 pm *stacks the few lone surviving treats that have escaped Bird into a snack tower, a short and pitiful snack tower* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:27 pm [[...-That- is what the cord reminded him of.]] *It looked like the patch. How intriguing.* *Bird sloooowly inches a thin feeler toward the snack tower* [[You never skip the basics first.]] Swoop 9:28 pm *grins and tosses the top treat up in the air* FakeProwl 9:28 pm *Optics turn off.* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:28 pm *Shakes his helm.* Tarantulas 9:28 pm I'm not entirely informed, but no, the processes I've gotten data on involve keeping the organics alive and taking their living tissue. *waves a paw dismissively* FakeProwl 9:28 pm ((for reference this is exactly what my jiu jitsu lessons look like.)) ItsyBitsySpyers 9:28 pm ((PFF)) FakeProwl 9:28 pm ((they sit us in cruddy chairs and shove a little wire in our neck)) Bevel 9:28 pm ((excellent ItsyBitsySpyers 9:28 pm *This is him. He is this human.* Whirl 9:28 pm ((i knew it...)) ItsyBitsySpyers 9:28 pm *Eat all the data.* FakeProwl 9:28 pm *Optics flicker back on. Then back off.* Whirl 9:28 pm Ugh. Who would ever WANT this? This is incredibly lame. Half the fun of fighting if actually learning to DO it. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:29 pm [[He has seen mental landscapes like these.]] FakeProwl 9:29 pm *Back on? Stay on.* Bevel 9:29 pm Breaking gravity sounds like fun. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:29 pm [[It is.]] Swoop 9:29 pm Flier do that anyway Break gravity keheh Whirl 9:29 pm Yep. Swoop 9:29 pm Movie have flier next time Then not so boring ItsyBitsySpyers 9:30 pm {{Swoop, Swoop, it fight.}} Swoop 9:30 pm !! : > Whirl 9:30 pm *are these two flirting?* *it kinda looks like they're flirting* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:30 pm *They've gotta be.* Bevel 9:30 pm *leans forward some to watch the sparring* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:30 pm //I thought they was trainin', not goin' on dates.// Whirl 9:30 pm I know, right? I mean, lame that they just... downloaded it all, but even so. Guest 9:31 pm that's how i flirt Swoop 9:31 pm Him going to get hit kehhehh YUP ItsyBitsySpyers 9:31 pm [[You flirt poorly.]] Swoop 9:31 pm That dumb Him bad at fight. Jump into leg. Guest 9:31 pm You know you fantasize about choking me ItsyBitsySpyers 9:31 pm [[For unrelated reasons.]] Guest 9:32 pm Uh-huh. Look, no one's gonna judge ya for havin' a crush on me. Bevel 9:32 pm Fighting is just fun. Not flirting. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:32 pm \\IT COULD BE BOTH.\\ Bevel 9:32 pm Not for me. Tarantulas 9:33 pm I get the sense the only crush he has is the *desire to crush you* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:33 pm *Gently taps Tarantulas' shin. Yes, thank you.* Whirl 9:33 pm I mean, yeah, I get that sometimes it's nice just to hang out and watch a MOVIE or something but c'mon. Fighting can be the best kind of flirting. Guest 9:33 pm That's hot Swoop 9:34 pm So much jump 😕 ItsyBitsySpyers 9:34 pm *Soundwave abruptly wonders what fighting Prowl would be like. He's an avatar. It wouldn't hurt... though this is obviously not the best week for that.* //Pffffff.// ItsyBitsySpyers 9:35 pm *...That's too close to the truth.* Bevel 9:35 pm I just fight. Tarantulas 9:38 pm Oh please, don't let them start villainizing A.I. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:38 pm [[He would rather they didn't.]] *Chimera gets enough trouble as is.* Bevel 9:38 pm They already said AI made humans batteries. Tarantulas 9:39 pm Yes, but that's beside the point. *obviously organic batteries are not a villainous thing* Whirl 9:39 pm That's two things. Swoop 9:39 pm *offers up the last two treats to Bird* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:39 pm *Bird grabs them and munches them noisily* Swoop 9:39 pm Keehee Whirl 9:39 pm Well, of course a NAIL would think like that. *scoffs and shoots Tarantulas a look* Bevel 9:39 pm *kind of already did the AI is evil thing far as she's concerned* Swoop 9:40 pm *scritches under bird's wing* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:40 pm [[It is a pretty thing.]] Tarantulas 9:40 pm *shoots whirl a look right back* What does THAT mean, hm ItsyBitsySpyers 9:40 pm *With a listening device. How precious.* Whirl 9:40 pm Aww, look how cute it was... Swoop 9:41 pm It a fish *all water things are fish fight him* Whirl 9:41 pm And more or less what you think it means. *sidelong, sly look* I mean, we've got Brainstorm on our team, and all the most dangerous scientists were STILL neutrals. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:43 pm [[He wasn't aware Shockwave was a neutral.]] Tarantulas 9:43 pm Hff, Brainstorm. Bevel 9:43 pm Shockwave is neut--*what Soundwave said* Whirl 9:44 pm Well, I guess TECHNICALLY Thunderwing was a 'Con at first, but right before he nuked the planet, he was trying to play both sides. But yeah, I'm gonna rank the fella who made Cybertron basically uninhabitable until very recently the most dangerous of us. Swoop 9:45 pm *is trying to be good and not tear the shit out of the fort or burn it, but he's GOTTA at least chew on some of the blankets under him, he's gotta* Bevel 9:45 pm *stares at the agent guy, this "human" is familiar and it is bothering her* Whirl 9:45 pm ...though I guess Shockwave DID almost collapse reality. Bevel 9:46 pm That is pretty bad. Tarantulas 9:46 pm Almost. Hyeh. Whirl 9:46 pm What, is that something you aspire to? best decepticon leader 9:46 pm Why would you want to date something fictional? Bevel 9:47 pm I do not think he was talking about dating. best decepticon leader 9:47 pm Why would you want to frag something fictional? Tarantulas 9:47 pm Nono Whirl, no reason to be concerned on that front Bevel 9:48 pm *shrugs* Whirl 9:48 pm I guess some people get desperate, or something. *also shrugs* Guest 9:49 pm You never had a simulation frag? Tarantulas 9:50 pm *snickers* Whirl 9:50 pm *dryly* Never felt the need. Guest 9:50 pm It's fun ItsyBitsySpyers 9:50 pm [[Only with living partners.]] best decepticon leader 9:50 pm why would I? It's a waste of energy and time Swoop 9:52 pm Spoon nothing. Swoop can bend spoon with breathing kehehehh ItsyBitsySpyers 9:53 pm *Soft huff. And a glance at Prowl. Is he still motionless...?* FakeProwl 9:54 pm *He is.* Windchill 9:54 pm *Cha chas in, very late and greeted with EXTREME GREEN FILTER.* *GREEN. THE COLOUR OF THE ENEMY.* best decepticon leader 9:54 pm ((I have t go, see you everyone Whirl 9:54 pm ((seeya!)) FakeProwl 9:54 pm ((see ya)) ItsyBitsySpyers 9:54 pm ((bye)) Whirl 9:55 pm *lifts a cube and nods at Windchill; he's got one free side left* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:55 pm *Soundwave test turns his hand over. It's been long enough it won't be associated by the others with the needle in the head. If Prowl wants it, he can have it; if not, Soundwave will shift again in a few minutes and look like he's getting comfortable,* Windchill 9:55 pm *He will take that free side, as always.* FakeProwl 9:56 pm *He's looking toward the screen. He doesn't notice the hand turning.* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:57 pm *Then so it will be.* Windchill 9:57 pm What is this green garbage? Whirl 9:57 pm The Matrix. Windchill 9:57 pm Oh. Whirl 9:57 pm It's got some interesting ideas but good Lord does it drag on. Windchill 9:57 pm Green is not a creative colour. *Yes, he is fixated on that green filter.* *Green is the colour of TREES.* Whirl 9:58 pm *and CACTI* Windchill 9:58 pm *And trees are a plague.* *Trees are only good for one thing: Beating up Optimus Prime. It's their one redeeming quality.* *Crosses his legs.* Swoop 9:59 pm Ooo gun 😄 Oh Him die fast Windchill 9:59 pm Blood. Swoop 9:59 pm Dead Lame ItsyBitsySpyers 10:00 pm [[Humans do not survive multitudes of bullet wounds as well as we do.]] Tarantulas 10:00 pm I would REALLY like to know how the physical wounds inflict themselves when there ARE no bullets, though Whirl 10:00 pm And some of US are kinda weirdly fragile, too. *has a highly relative definition of "fragile"* Windchill 10:00 pm I resemble that remark. Whirl 10:01 pm Hey, you said it, not me. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:01 pm [[The mind can convince the body to do a multiude of things it should not.]] Windchill 10:01 pm *Grins.* Swoop 10:01 pm Them sneak ItsyBitsySpyers 10:01 pm [[Mechs have developed symptoms for viruses they do not have simply because they were told they have it.]] Swoop 10:01 pm Bird Everything this movie fix with flier Them suck Them bring flier next time Windchill 10:02 pm *Curls his lip at all of this GREEN.* Oooooh. Tarantulas 10:03 pm ....True, I don't know much about somatoform disorders ItsyBitsySpyers 10:03 pm //What kinda fake-aft fall's that.// Swoop 10:03 pm KAHAH Windchill 10:03 pm What. *He cackles.* Swoop 10:04 pm Him win at headbutts Bevel 10:04 pm *excitedly* Elrond! Windchill 10:06 pm I like the gun. Swoop 10:06 pm That gun is Ghostbuster gun for shoot ghost Windchill 10:07 pm I think it makes ghosts, actually. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:08 pm [[...Elrond?]] Bevel 10:09 pm From Lord of the Rings and stuff. He is a really important elf. Windchill 10:09 pm Hmm. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:10 pm *The tiniest fidget. If Prowl is afraid of those going in without permission, then watching them be pulled out without a proper disconnect is his own. A much, much, much tinier fear. But enough.* Windchill 10:10 pm They're not that big. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:10 pm *Good. No more of that. Unfortunately, more probes in heads.* Windchill 10:11 pm *Points* Helicopter. Swoop 10:11 pm her got hair in, on, in medical port Whirl 10:11 pm Congratulations, Windchill. You know a chopper when you see one. Swoop 10:11 pm Oh him going to hurt Windchill 10:12 pm I probably do. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:12 pm *Taps Tarantulas. An interesting note, for that... good feeling prison.* Swoop 10:13 pm !!!! *knows quite afew dinosaurs thx8 ** Tarantulas 10:13 pm *oh he noticed, sw - he can tell you more some other time, he's busy paying attention* Whirl 10:13 pm Pfft. I think I'd know if someone plugged me into some Matrix. The world would suddenly stop being so goddamned awful. *dryly* I'll be wary of that ever happens. Windchill 10:13 pm *Snorts.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:13 pm [[He doubts it will.]] [[And Bevel - he sees who you mean now.]] Bevel 10:15 pm *grins at Soundwave, pleased with herself* Swoop 10:16 pm Them fighting now? No, more talking : < Tarantulas 10:18 pm *what. humans are definitely mammals. faulty A.I.* Windchill 10:18 pm Sounds like someone has no idea how animals work. Swoop 10:18 pm Headbutt him :V Windchill 10:18 pm *Perks up at "guns"* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:19 pm \\...THEY AIN'T CARRYIN' ALLA THEM AT ONCE.\\ Bevel 10:19 pm Need more swords. Windchill 10:20 pm *A pretty normal reaction to organics, really.* Swoop 10:21 pm KAH!! Windchill 10:21 pm Eheh. Swoop 10:21 pm Nice ItsyBitsySpyers 10:21 pm //Wrong backup.// Swoop 10:21 pm Them shoot LOTS 😄 😄 😄 Whirl 10:21 pm Pfft! Windchill 10:22 pm Are they shooting real or fake people though? Bevel 10:22 pm Gun fight. Whirl 10:22 pm Not a clue. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:22 pm [[Both, most likely.]] Whirl 10:22 pm Wouldn't be surprised if they were killing their own to save their own. Humans love stuff like that. Windchill 10:22 pm *Frowns a little.* They're not the only ones. Swoop 10:22 pm ((oh man this scene is a CLASSIC)) Windchill 10:22 pm I was just wondering. Swoop 10:23 pm *excited pterodactyl noises* Whirl 10:23 pm Man, they waited until NOW to bust out their cinematography chops. Swoop 10:23 pm *with slightly less excited wiggles on account of still being a perch* Whirl 10:23 pm But hey, it's pretty neat. FakeProwl 10:23 pm ((they're very good at hitting the columns but very bad at hitting anything in between the columns)) ((we don't see nearly as much sharpnel coming from the wall behind neo as we do from the columns)) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:24 pm ((i mean, logically i assume that's because having some would risk hurting the actor, but they coulda added it)) Swoop 10:24 pm Bomb FakeProwl 10:24 pm ((coulda done like tribbles. had someond stand behind the wall and throw sharpnel at the actors.)) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:24 pm ((PFFF)) Bevel 10:25 pm ((lol Swoop 10:25 pm YAHHH!!!!!! Windchill 10:25 pm Finally, a colour besides green. Swoop 10:25 pm kehehehhhehehhehhehh wet FakeProwl 10:25 pm ((he looks so upset to be wet)) Windchill 10:25 pm Not as wet as I am. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:26 pm //Gross.// Windchill 10:26 pm *He had to.* Whirl 10:26 pm *snickers* Windchill 10:26 pm *You left it wide open.* Swoop 10:26 pm ? Whirl 10:26 pm *both at Windchill and Rumble's reaction* Swoop 10:26 pm !!!!! DEAD Windchill 10:26 pm *Looks overly smug about this.* Swoop 10:26 pm aaawesome Bevel 10:26 pm Ha, dodge this. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:27 pm //You ever had an organic passenger?// Swoop 10:27 pm ohhh him shoot : > Whirl 10:27 pm Well, last week, the dragon. Sort of. But I've never carried an organic around for a long-term flight or anything. Swoop 10:28 pm Everyone good at shoot wall kehehehh and bad at DEAD Bevel 10:28 pm ...How did he not shoot Morpheus? Windchill 10:28 pm The plot demands it. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:28 pm [[Shooting in a U perhaps.]] Bevel 10:29 pm I guess? I do not really know much about shooting guns. Swoop 10:29 pm Next time they ALL learn flying keheheh so them stop suck at jumps ItsyBitsySpyers 10:29 pm //Looks like it'd be weird. Lil hands on all your handles 'n scrap.// ItsyBitsySpyers 10:30 pm //...Lil meat hands. I helped pilot scrap before.// Swoop 10:30 pm Him catch helicopter? Whirl 10:31 pm Well, there's no manual controls in there. ...but I DO have seatbelts. For some reason. But I see what you mean.

I mean I couldn't blame 'em, though. *drapes a claw over his chest* I've got a very comfortable interior. Windchill 10:31 pm Our hero. Swoop 10:31 pm YAHHHHHHH!!!!!! *fist pump for explosion* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:31 pm [[...He was about to ask if her impact should have carried him over the edge, but this -is- a construction.]] Windchill 10:32 pm Ew, subways. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:32 pm //I'mma take your word on it. An' Zori's. He useta say it was good hidin'.// Windchill 10:32 pm Those are like, underground. Swoop 10:32 pm Subway is for trains. Trains live there. Whirl 10:32 pm Yeah? How's he holding up these days? Windchill 10:32 pm Um. Swoop 10:33 pm Phone eat him ItsyBitsySpyers 10:33 pm //...Not so good.// Whirl 10:34 pm *looks over, showing a hint of genuine concern* Nobody's brought him back down to size yet? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:34 pm //Ain't easy. Gotta get stuff prepped jus' right.// Whirl 10:34 pm *nods* Swoop 10:34 pm *chin hands excitedly* Whirl 10:34 pm Well. ...*a little more softly* If there's anything I can do. Y'know how to reach me. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:35 pm *Visor flickers in a blink.*

//...Yeah. Yeah, sure.// He'd tell Zori that as soon as the Bug woke up again. Tarantulas 10:35 pm *overhears, feels a LITTLE guilty* Bevel 10:35 pm Zori is still big? Swoop 10:35 pm *bounces a little in place* Whirl 10:36 pm *slight not; Whirl returns to his cube* Windchill 10:36 pm I don't think I've seen him in...FOREVER. *Meaning Zori, naturally.* Swoop 10:36 pm *this is an unfair challenge, being a perch adn also watching someone get the shit kicked out of them, why does the universe test swoop so* Windchill 10:37 pm *Swoop can get the scrap get kicked out of him too, if he wants.* Bevel 10:37 pm Much better fight now that there are no guns. Windchill 10:37 pm I like the guns, but it's all in slow motion when they use them. Kind of lame. Guns are supposed to be fast. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:37 pm [[The point is that they are faster than the guns.]] Whirl 10:37 pm Guns are fun when they're used creatively. ELEGANTLY. This movie just uses them like a bulldozer. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:37 pm \\THAT'S THE SOUND OF SQUEAKY TRAIN WHEELS.\\ Windchill 10:38 pm So am I, so it's not very interesting. Bevel 10:38 pm *shrugs* Swords are better. Bet you could make a sword as fast as them. Windchill 10:38 pm Nice. I prefer weapons with some reach, but to each their own. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:38 pm [[A sword would automatically be as fast as them as long as it were held in their hand.]] [[But modern humans prefer bullets.]] Windchill 10:39 pm Modern humans have good taste. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:39 pm [[It is foolish. He always preferred his natural weaponry.]] Bevel 10:40 pm Bullets are boring. Windchill 10:40 pm *Ugh, this green is so HIDEOUS.* But effective. Whirl 10:41 pm Bullets are boring to folks with no imagination. Bevel 10:41 pm Sometimes. Windchill 10:41 pm *This blue weirdness is a welcome reprieve.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:41 pm *Has never encountered anyone capable of pulling off the agent frame-stealing stunt. It is fascinating, and something to think about. Just in case someone works out how.* Bevel 10:41 pm *sticks tongue out at Whirl* Whirl 10:41 pm *snickers* Windchill 10:41 pm I'd offer to let you test a sword against a //proper// gun, but I don't currently have one. *He scratches his chin.* Whirl 10:41 pm If the multiverse ever spontaneously gifts me with a tongue again, I'll get you back for that. Bevel 10:42 pm *grins* Windchill 10:42 pm It's just as well, there's no need for me to embarrass you that way. Bevel 10:42 pm Uh-huh. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:42 pm [[...Oh.]] Swoop 10:42 pm Dead Bevel 10:42 pm Oh no. Windchill 10:43 pm *Shrugs.* I'm unarmed, so it's a moot point. Bevel 10:44 pm *ignores Windchill's bragging in favor of fiddling with a wrench from her collection of stuff she spread out on the table* Windchill 10:44 pm *He can't help the facts.* Whirl 10:44 pm Unconvincing. Windchill 10:45 pm That's only true assuming she only falls in love with one person, but I guess the writers didn't think of that either. EW. Bevel 10:45 pm Boring. Whirl 10:45 pm It's not like she has the option of having a hoppin' social life. Windchill 10:45 pm *SO...MUCH...GREEN...* Whirl 10:45 pm Pfft. Swoop 10:46 pm ????? Windchill 10:46 pm ...Bizarre. Swoop 10:46 pm Dead Windchill 10:47 pm Well, I don't know what that was. Whirl 10:47 pm It makes sense, if you saw the rest of the movie. Windchill 10:48 pm Yeah, well I didn't. Whirl 10:48 pm I know. Windchill 10:48 pm *Wrinkles all of his wrinkly parts.* Bevel 10:48 pm ((i love this music so much Windchill 10:48 pm It's just as well, this movie is too green for me. Whirl 10:48 pm The green's there for a reason. Windchill 10:49 pm To be ugly? Whirl 10:49 pm It's a filter to indicate, y'know, the matrix--and the visual representation of the Matrix is the green code they look at. Cinema shorthand. Windchill 10:49 pm I can guess as much. Whirl 10:49 pm *streeetches* Honestly it dragged on. Some good ideas, I can respect what they were goin' for. Windchill 10:49 pm *He's not STUPID, he just has very particular tastes regarding the colour green.* *Irrational tastes...* FakeProwl 10:50 pm ((in the Related Titles up top it lists "Sexual Matrix.")) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:50 pm ((...omg it does)) FakeProwl 10:50 pm ((I don't remember that part of the trilogy.)) Windchill 10:50 pm (( Let's not...)) Whirl 10:50 pm (( *wonk* )) Bevel 10:50 pm ((lol FakeProwl 10:50 pm ((did he go on that date with the girl with the red dress)) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:50 pm ((LOL)) Whirl 10:50 pm ((Look at

The matrix: Revolutions: Bonus materials

)) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:50 pm ((i'm looking at "bigger questions: the psychic matrix" it's slend)) Bevel 10:50 pm ((clearly scenes from the hentai version of the animatrix Swoop 10:51 pm *glances up at bird and does the closest he ever gets to a whisper* Want to go burn stuff? Building stuff. Or people stuff! FakeProwl 10:51 pm ((Matrix Algebra Tutor. just a series of math classes taught by the agent.)) Whirl 10:51 pm ((Matrix Algebra Tutor for Prowl)) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:51 pm {{Us go Underworld hunt? Find monster?}} Swoop 10:51 pm YAY monster hunt!! Tarantulas 10:51 pm *tarantulas flops a little more on soundwave's lap and almost onto prowl's. fffinally. he wasn't sure his attention could hold out for much longer* Windchill 10:52 pm *Stretches and slumps like an ancient bean bag.* Whirl 10:52 pm *finishes his cube and streeetches again with a sigh* FakeProwl 10:52 pm ((MY NEMESIS)) Swoop 10:52 pm ((why are we listening to abba)) Tarantulas 10:52 pm (( nono we gotta do 90s hits for the matrix Whirl 10:52 pm ((because abba is grate)) Windchill 10:52 pm *Points at Whirl.* Guest 10:53 pm Bee's off work, later fraggers ItsyBitsySpyers 10:53 pm ((i'll do 90s hits next time)) Windchill 10:53 pm See that Whirl, watch that scene, ItsyBitsySpyers 10:53 pm \\LATER, RUSTBUCKET.\\ Whirl 10:53 pm ((tho if we're doing abba i recommend Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! )) *slooowly turns to look at Windchill* FakeProwl 10:53 pm ((that's a good one)) Guest 10:53 pm thanks Windchill 10:53 pm *Holds that point.* Whirl 10:53 pm *then slooowly turns to look at Rumble* You see what I gotta put up with, here. Swoop 10:53 pm *aggressively heads for the exit with Bird, monster murder awaits!* Windchill 10:54 pm *Whispers.* Digging the dancing queen. Swoop 10:54 pm ((l8r)) Windchill 10:54 pm (( BYE. )) Tarantulas 10:54 pm (( adios! ItsyBitsySpyers 10:54 pm *Soundwave gently pets Tarantulas and looks at Prowl again. Has he recovered or is he completely out of it?* Whirl 10:54 pm ((bye!)) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:54 pm *Laserbeak blows a raspberry at the couch on her way out* FakeProwl 10:55 pm *He still isn't moving, if that's what you're asking.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:55 pm //What's puttin' up with? Jus' slug him.// Windchill 10:55 pm *Gasps* Yes. Last time I got hit we had an awesome sleepover. Whirl 10:56 pm Nah. I can't hit Windchill for being Windchill. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:56 pm //...Slug him OUTSIDE. I ain't here for surprise bridgin'.// Whirl 10:56 pm *looks back to regard him wryly* I'd rather him be Windchill than someone else, at the end of the day. Windchill 10:56 pm *He gets hit for being Windchill all the time, you liar!* Whirl 10:56 pm *pauses, and then CACKLES* Yeah! If Soundwave had a face, I'd have paid good money to see his expression when he realized he'd bridged YOU out, too. ((a+ beegees selection <3)) Windchill 10:57 pm *He likes this one, but it's not so easy to make into something ridiculous, so he'll be quiet.* ((I Love the Bee Gees omg. )) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:57 pm *That's more or less it.*

@Prowl: (txt): ...Prowl: frozen? Assistance required? Brief departure? Tarantulas 10:58 pm *nudges at prowl* I ought to leave soon, but you're more than welcome to come with me FakeProwl 10:58 pm @Soundwave «No. Fine. Just didn't have any reason to move my avatar.» ItsyBitsySpyers 10:58 pm *Oh, good. He was starting to grow concerned Prowl had gone catatonic on them.* Tarantulas 10:58 pm I'd invite you too, Soundwave, but it sounds like we have a project to work on, hyeh FakeProwl 10:58 pm ... Let's schedule a later meeting. Tomorrow maybe. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:59 pm //Whirl. Whirl, y'see the Boss right now?// Whirl 10:59 pm *glances over at the Circus in momentary curiosity* Mm-hmm? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:59 pm //That's his expression. All the time, any time.// ItsyBitsySpyers 10:59 pm //Do I get good money now?// ItsyBitsySpyers 10:59 pm *Cheeky grin* Whirl 11:00 pm Pfft. I mean. Technically you're right. *except we BOTH know that's not true; Whirl has seen The Truth* All right, whaddya define as good money? ItsyBitsySpyers 11:00 pm @Tarantulas: [[He would not mind an invitation soon.]] Windchill 11:00 pm *Subtly lifts a leg, as subtly as something his size can do anything, which is not at all.* Whirl 11:00 pm Oh, hey. Here we go. Nice choice. Tarantulas 11:00 pm Whenever you like, Prowl. *almost called him love. thought better of it for the moment* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:01 pm //...Bev. You was a mercenary lately. What's good money now?// Whirl 11:01 pm *gestures to Windchill when the song says "clowns." Gestures to Rumble when it says "Jokers."* Tarantulas 11:01 pm *mental hum/nod to soundwave - he'll see about it soon enough* Windchill 11:01 pm *You haven't even SEEN a clown yet.* FakeProwl 11:01 pm *jerky nod of acknowledgment to Tarantulas.* Bevel 11:01 pm Depends on what services are being asked for. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:01 pm *The finest of jokers, thank you.* Windchill 11:02 pm *Slowly swings his leg into Whirl's airspace.* Bevel 11:02 pm And who you are working for. Bots that can afford it pay more. And good causes pay less. Whirl 11:02 pm You better not be about to put that leg on me. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:02 pm //Pointin' out the Boss don't got no other expression.// Lying, essentially. //'N Whirl. But he could get a discount. Like ... 20%.// Whirl 11:02 pm *this time he's going to gesture to Windchill for both descriptors* Bevel 11:02 pm *giggles* Whirl 11:02 pm Uh, exCUSE you. I'm worth at l;east twice that! Windchill 11:03 pm *Taps his toe in the air seductively.* Whirl 11:03 pm *looks to Rumble in mock-offense* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:03 pm *Hey, Tarantulas. Do you remember what Soundwave originally thought you were going to meet him looking like a while back? Yeah. That mental image is just gonna sliiiiide over. Little suggestion for a topic.* //Right. So that's... what, 30? I never been good at math. Jus' philosophy.// Windchill 11:03 pm *GASPS.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:04 pm //...I never did get them answers.// Windchill 11:04 pm *Leg freezes mid air.* Whirl 11:04 pm 40%. ...wait what answers? Windchill 11:04 pm *He's singing along fuckos.* Whirl 11:04 pm *he... will not join you this time. But he respects this* Windchill 11:04 pm *Your loss dude.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:04 pm //The infinite math stuff.// ItsyBitsySpyers 11:05 pm //...CAUSE THE DAMN BARNACLES.// ItsyBitsySpyers 11:05 pm *Laughing. It's funnier now that they're not trying to stick to him.* Whirl 11:05 pm *SNRK* Well, you'll have to get an encore, I guess. Windchill 11:05 pm *His toe is tapping again, sorry Whirl.* Tarantulas 11:06 pm *HHfff. Tara's flustered but tempted, damn you Soundwave* Bevel 11:06 pm *starts slowly putting things back from the table into her arm* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:06 pm \\HEADIN' OUT?\\ Bevel 11:07 pm Not yet. Tarantulas 11:07 pm @SW: [[Not - not now. Nor anytime soon.]] Whirl 11:08 pm *cycles a long breath* I think I am, though. Gotta find a place to tuck in for the night. *streeetches again* Windchill 11:08 pm *Song's over, he'll put his foot down now. Not on Whirl either.* Whirl 11:08 pm *Good. You get to keep your foot* Windchill 11:08 pm *Don't be MEAN.* Whirl 11:08 pm *hey he owned a leg of yours for a while, this is nothing new* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:09 pm //Okay. But you better come back. I ain't figured out that discount yet.// Windchill 11:09 pm *He still owns the leg probably.* Bevel 11:09 pm *for one thing there's a lot of stuff on the table, it's gonna take her a bit to put it all back* *and she still needs to fit that screwdriver* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:09 pm *Good. Frenzy's gonna try to sneak that screwdriver off the table and pocket it.* @Tarantulas: [[As you wish.]] Whirl 11:09 pm Of COURSE I will. *pause; Whirl contemplates something. After a moment, he nudges Rumble* Y'know you don't have to worry about that. Unless I get hopelessly lost or someone comes for my bounty, but, pfft, as if I couldn't fight 'em off. Tarantulas 11:10 pm *trying to oh-so-casually untangle himself from the pile he created now, totally not just escaping soundwave's telepathy, oh no* Bevel 11:10 pm *she pins that reaching hand with a single digit and grins* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:10 pm *Lets his arm up so Tarantulas can get out from beneath it.* FakeProwl 11:11 pm *Prowl's hands are dead and definitely not curled in Tarantuals's setae, should be easy to escape.* Tarantulas 11:11 pm Comm me, Prowl? ItsyBitsySpyers 11:11 pm //Anybody fightin' you's gonna eat all the bullets that Neo fleshie didn't.// Chuckles. //Kay.// FakeProwl 11:12 pm *Jerky nod.* Tarantulas 11:12 pm *visor frown* Whirl 11:12 pm And explosives. And my claws. And my sword. Windchill 11:12 pm And your bad jokes. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:12 pm //That's the real deadly scrap.// Windchill 11:12 pm Don't forget those. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:13 pm *Frenzy lifts his hand, shifts it into a drill, and points it at Bevel's finger. He wouldn't actually, but she wouldn't actually either.* Whirl 11:13 pm My bad jokes are NOTHING compared to yours. You need to teach me your ways. Bevel 11:14 pm *laughs and flips the screwdriver toward him* Tarantulas 11:14 pm *a few goodbye pings and a general dismissal of the room, and tarantulas is out* Windchill 11:14 pm *Scratches his chin.* Mine are pretty bad... But you burn me more often, so it's fair. *It's all about equilibrium, see.* Whirl 11:15 pm Yeah. All right, I need to go if I'm gonna score a decent spot. Tired of sleeping on the wing. *stands up* Take care of yourselves, losers. All of ya. Windchill 11:15 pm Bye, loser. Sleep well. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:15 pm //Seeya.// *Punch* Whirl 11:15 pm *he will scoop up his stuff and pause; he feels like he should say something more. he's... still very new to this and not good at it at all. He glances to Rumble* I'll keep in touch. *snickers and quite happily takes the punch* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:16 pm *Frenzy snatches the screwdriver out of thin air and motions to Bevel's arm. Open up.* Whirl 11:16 pm You sleep well, too. *salutes Windchill* As much as you can with that horrid little wriggler thrashing about. Bevel 11:17 pm *she stares at him a moment before complying, he does spend time with the medics in Praxus* Windchill 11:17 pm I usually do. *Salutes back.* She sleeps like a dead thing. *Takes after him in that aspect, really.* Whirl 11:17 pm Just like her parent. All right, I'll see you lot next week. *shoulders his bag and bobs his helm at the room one last time, before turning and trotting away* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:18 pm *Frenzy pokes his tongue out the side of his mouth, takes careful aim, and flicks it into the arm compartment.* Windchill 11:19 pm *Waves at Whirl's retreating butt.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:19 pm *Then throws his hands in the air and shouts (duh)* \\GOAL!\\ Windchill 11:19 pm *And the rest of him.* Bevel 11:19 pm *it clatters into something that could be described as a place where it'll likely be impossible to reach in the future* Good job! ItsyBitsySpyers 11:19 pm *Just get Rolodex to stick their tiny hands in and get it* Bevel 11:20 pm *she will do that* Bevel 11:22 pm *well now that's done, she's gonna call that task completed and snap her armor back into place* Thanks for the help, Frenzy. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:22 pm \\YEP. USUALLY THAT'S FOR KILLIN' STUFF, BUT. Y'KNOW.\\ Windchill 11:23 pm *Stretches. He HUNGERS.* I'm out, suckers. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:23 pm *Stretch.* \\I'M OUT. GONNA SEE 'BOUT EJECT'S NEW GAME.\\ [[Goodnight, Windchill.]] Bevel 11:23 pm Have fun! Windchill 11:24 pm Byyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeee. *This drones on for as long as it takes for him to rise and cha cha backwards out of the room.* Bevel 11:27 pm Ok, I am gonna go now too. *probably go home and empty out her storage again because she needed that, Frenzy* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:28 pm [[Goodnight. Tell your creator to pick up their files tomorrow.]] Bevel 11:28 pm Huh? Oh, ok! I can do that. *she's going to pry about what files and be told to mind her own business* *ok, she's out now, bye everybody* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:30 pm *Nods after her and settles in for watching his last remaining guest.* FakeProwl 11:31 pm *... Is watching all he's going to do?* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:35 pm *Yes. No? He's thinking about it. It's been a while since Prowl has been so put off by something. The movie at Blurr's, with the hypnosis, and then a while before that. Sometimes hands work and sometimes there shouldn't be any. And he knows what helps -him-, or what he seeks when he doesn't want help-help, but that's a whole other ball of wax.*

*So.*

(txt): Query: What wanted, this moment? ItsyBitsySpyers 11:36 pm (txt): Additional thought: Soundwave apologizes. Will screen sequels, warn if attended. FakeProwl 11:39 pm Nothing. I haven't indicated I want anything. There's nothing to apologize for. FakeProwl 11:40 pm *Well, there's nothing to look at on the screen anymore. Turns in Soundwave's general direction.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:40 pm (txt): Nonindication: known. Question purpose: check action options, requirements, if existing. (txt): If none, action not taken. Nothing else meant. FakeProwl 11:41 pm No requirements. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:41 pm *Small nod. All right, then.* (txt): Music continuation: acceptable? FakeProwl 11:42 pm Acceptable. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:43 pm (txt): Mutual reposition? FakeProwl 11:43 pm What? Oh. Yes. Sure. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:46 pm *Another nod. Soundwave scoots into the spot he vacated for Tarantulas to take and twists. He beckons once and tilts his helm, questioning, but if Prowl doesn't care to join him, that's all right too.*

(txt): Noteworthy news known? FakeProwl 11:47 pm *He scoots in and leans against Soundwave.* ... You stopped talking to me after I asked you to stop using telepathy. *It's not news, but it's what's on Prowl's mind.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:51 pm *Not scared of him, at least. That's reassuring.*

*He wraps an arm around Prowl and sets himself to lazily petting one arm.*

(txt): ...Correct action: uncertain. Prowl: motionless; circumstance possibility: known telepath contact: more unsettling. Decision: Safer first conact: Prowl's. (txt): If impression: rejection, this: unintended. FakeProwl 11:52 pm ... So you assumed. Instead of asking. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:54 pm *Leans back a little and looks from optic to optic.*

(txt): ...Soundwave's understanding: Contact made, purpose: check contact permission: self-defeating. This, error? *He supposes he can see that.* FakeProwl 11:55 pm I asked you not to use telepathy. Not to stop talking to me. ... I suppose I'm glad to find out I WASN'T getting the silent treatment. ...... So to speak. Yesterday ItsyBitsySpyers 11:59 pm *Oh. That's. That's a good point.*

(txt): Soundwave's error: acknowledged. Appropriate action understanding updated. Confirmation: not silent treatment.

(txt): Prowl - needed talk? Wants now? FakeProwl 12:02 am I didn't need it. But that is why I show up to these things. *He'd needed it.* *Doesn't count as lying if he's lying to himself first.* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:06 am *Looks down, thinking. That, too, makes sense. Prowl could have left if he was upset and didn't want to stick around for conversation. Easily.*

(txt): ...Understood.

*Navigating these things is harder than he'd ever thought. Communication's easy to handle when it's everyone ELSE'S and not his own, it seems.*

(txt): Then error - assumption - result: deficit. Soundwave's offer: balance budget. FakeProwl 12:07 am ... It would be nice if, every once in a while, you did what you want to do, rather than what you think I want you to do. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:20 am (txt): Soundwave wants. Post-movie conversations... highlight. Comfortable tradition.

*The petting hand stills. After a pause, more honestly:*

(txt): Other thoughts during movie: test fight, teach Prowl similar activity, compare experiences, terminate Wheeljack. Some: unacceptable. FakeProwl 12:22 am I meant when you stopping talking in the first place. *He permits the corner of his mouth to twitch.* Although I can see why not EVERYTHING you want to do is an option. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:25 am *Sometimes has the suspicion Prowl would like him a lot less if he actually heard how much of that 'not everything you want to do is an option' stuff runs through Soundwave's head on a daily basis.*

(txt): ...Prowl returns next week? Similar situation expected? FakeProwl 12:27 am "Situation"? ItsyBitsySpyers 12:27 am (txt): Telepathy revocation. FakeProwl 12:28 am ... Probably. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:35 am *Nod.*

(txt): Soundwave texts. If Prowl: involved, movie: superior experience. Idea discussion, humor, sarcasm, new viewpoints - all liked. Silence maintenance, conversation avoidance: difficult.

(txt): ...Admission: Ongoing partial vow: worse. That, different; point not withdrawn.

*Hand flick.* FakeProwl 12:36 am ... Partial vow? ItsyBitsySpyers 12:38 am [][][]Vow of silence. Such a copout.[][][]

(txt): Small breaks committed since multiverse introduction. Spirit kept. FakeProwl 12:39 am *Prowl had thought that was the one he was referring to. But he hadn't thought the vow was difficult to keep.* Is it that hard to not talk? I'd think by now it'd be more difficult to MAKE yourself talk, if only out of habit. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:43 am (txt): Prowl: not wrong.

*Sometimes, he really wants to say things with his own voice. He wanted to say - that - with his own voice. And in an ideal world, he could have. But this isn't one, so even if he'd managed to make himself jump the hurdle and do it, it wouldn't have gotten out of his vocalizer. It hadn't even worked in text.* FakeProwl 12:44 am *... Blinks. Is pretty sure that contradicts the claim Soundwave just made. Well. Okay.* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:45 am *Prowl needs to re-listen. Soundwave said it was worse and different.* FakeProwl 12:45 am *Words are hard.* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:45 am *That they are.* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:47 am *He finally gets back to petting the arm.*

(txt): ...What learned? Source: movie. FakeProwl 12:50 am "Learned"? Just that humans hate machines. And that's not new. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:51 am *Shakes his helm.*

(txt): Negative. Other truths found. FakeProwl 12:52 am I suppose I also learned that humans are deeply self-loathing, but I also suppose that's not new either. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:52 am *Huff. Again, not wrong.* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:56 am (txt): Perhaps other opening question: better.

(txt): What known, Soundwave's ability? FakeProwl 12:56 am Only what you and your alternate have demonstrated. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:58 am (txt): Prowl recalls tapes, subject: cortical patch? FakeProwl 1:01 am *A moment of silence.* Yes. ItsyBitsySpyers 1:06 am *And one on his end. He doesn't want to frighten Prowl off, but... he needs Prowl to understand a few things. For the well-being and safety of both of them.*

(txt): ...Here, patch: Shockwave's creation. Soundwave, ability: model source.

(txt): Soundwave assumes patch, Matrix jack visual similarity noticed. FakeProwl 1:07 am Yes. *It was, indeed, one of the things that occurred to him, after the sickly shock of seeing/feeling a single oversized mnemosurgeon's finger jam into a neck.* ItsyBitsySpyers 1:12 am *Nod. Good.*

(txt): Question repetition. What learned, source: movie? FakeProwl 1:14 am ... What am I supposed to learn? That humans can imagine up the same concepts that Cybertronians can? I don't know what lesson you want me to take away from this. ItsyBitsySpyers 1:33 am *All right. So it didn't stick out as much as he thought it might've.*

(txt): Patch safety feature: consciousness mingle, mind-frame relation minimized. Megatron shooting Bumblebee: impossible. Experienced pain: none. Physical reaction: intense emotion expression.

(txt): Soundwave's ability: natural, not tested invention. Safety features: absent.

(txt): Soundwave's internal control, rule modification ability: immense. However, mind-frame transfer: possible. Example: If interpretation: cold, Soundwave: cold. If serious injury suffered, believed, Soundwave: damaged.

(txt): If disconnected early, damage expected. Permanent consciousness loss possible.

(txt): Prowl desires renewed telepathic contact. Soundwave's plea: If eventual progression: below surface, Prowl exercises caution, attempts retention despite potential panic. Seeks safe disengagement. Gifted program -not- toy, simple safety ward; current, modified use: actual threat counter only.

(txt): Prowl understands? FakeProwl 1:35 am *Prowl doesn't know how Soundwave expected Prowl to deduce that somehow Soundwave functions the same way that a human fantasy film does, but okay.* ItsyBitsySpyers 1:36 am *He didn't expect him to deduce. He thought Prowl might wonder.* *Especially after the "DON'T DISCONNECT ME" comments during the Springer planning and rescue.* FakeProwl 1:36 am If there's a potential for panic, you won't BE invited below the surface. That's not a risk I would take, for either of us. ItsyBitsySpyers 1:38 am (txt): Relief. Extended request: If Soundwave: contacting other, harm not done, avoid disruption unless calculation demonstrates higher Soundwave, deployer safety risk: connection maintenance. Reasons: same. *If he's ever found hurting someone Prowl doesn't want him to hurt, well. He'll have to deal with the consequences of his actions.* FakeProwl 1:40 am I don't know that I have enough data to accurately calculate that safety risk. ItsyBitsySpyers 1:42 am (txt): ...Prowl's estimates trusted above others' accurate calculations.

*If a bomb's about to drop on him, he'll take his chances getting disconnected.* FakeProwl 1:42 am I'd rather be able to make an accurate calculation than an estimate. FakeProwl 1:44 am Of course, I'll do my best with the data I have at hand. But I'd prefer more data. ItsyBitsySpyers 1:47 am (txt): Cannot give all. Self loss, potential death: unacceptable tests, reasons: obvious.

(txt): Given time, Prowl acquires data accessible within mutual capabilities, desires. That, best offer. FakeProwl 1:50 am *Nod.* Understood. ItsyBitsySpyers 1:50 am *Reaches for Prowl's hand.* FakeProwl 1:56 am *Hand moves just enough to lace with Soundwave's.* ItsyBitsySpyers 1:57 am *Good. Squeeze.*

(txt): That, Soundwave's wanted talk. Prowl has, had own? Observations, frustrations, comparisons, other? ItsyBitsySpyers 2:00 am (txt): If preference: save until next week, this also accepted. *Gonna just cover all his bases there. Safety.* FakeProwl 2:00 am I have no comments on the film. ItsyBitsySpyers 2:01 am (txt): Unrelated comments? FakeProwl 2:03 am ... I suppose not at the moment. ItsyBitsySpyers 2:06 am (txt): Understood. Suggestion: recharge? FakeProwl 2:07 am *Hesitates, but then nods* ItsyBitsySpyers 2:08 am (txt): Preference: couch, secure quarters, without Soundwave? FakeProwl 2:09 am ... Secure quarters. ItsyBitsySpyers 2:11 am (txt): Acknowledged. Bridge coming.

*One's going to pop open next to the couch; he'll move them both by stretching his feelers in first, wrapping the berth for stability, and lifting them over and through.* FakeProwl 2:13 am *Holds on tight. They're gonna go through a different way every time, huh?* ItsyBitsySpyers 2:15 am *Prowl was snuggled up a little closer the other time by virtue of being on his lap. If he dropped them like this chances are Prowl would hit the berth wrong and fall off the side.* *Which might be amusing, but ultimately isn't what he'd like to do to his ally.* FakeProwl 2:19 am *Prowl appreciates the consideration.* ItsyBitsySpyers 2:21 am *Good. Soundwave's gonna consider him right into being a big black and white blanket clutched close for the rest of the night.* FakeProwl 2:22 am *Prowl's fine with that.*

[mysynthfetish]

ONDEKOZA again.

So lemme just start by saying this is the second attempt at thumbfucking this post out on my phone in the Stumblr app. First time I was almost all the way through the post when I dipped out to grab a link to a video and when I flipped back to this app guess what, fucking post had fucked off into fuck knows where. Pissed. Me. Off. Anyway.

Exactly one month ago I was visited by opportunity in the form of a Saturday work day which I was told at the last minute (on Friday) that I didn’t actually need to attend. Mental wheels started frantically spinning. What was it that I had thought about doing or going to but in the end gave up on the idea because of travel time and difficulty finding a place to stay... oh shit yeah, Ondekoza is playing kinda sorta nearby. Righty-O then. I immediately got busy contacting the boss (this woman I live with who is the mother of our children) and asked her if she minded if I took the car and fugged off for the weekend. She was like “how soon can you be gone?” Hahaha no not really. She just said sure go ahead just be careful. Then I got in touch with Naoto, the one member of Ondekoza who I talk with regularly, and asked if it’d be ok for me to drive out and stay with them and help set up and tear down for their show and whatever. A positive reply came rather quickly so a last minute plan came together and Saturday morning off I went.

They were doing workshops and fun things, as well as playing a full concert (outdoors, on a stage set up in the middle of a terraced rice field area) to bring a week-long artsyfartsy event to a close. What was the event called again? Something like Umi-no-Stage 2019 (Umi means ocean, sea or beach), featuring workshops and performances by mostly off the wall/weirdo/wacky artists (right up my alley) held in a wee rustic hamlet (so small it’s almost not on maps) called Tagarasu (literally means Rice Field Crow, I dig it) near Obama City (yes, they made a big deal outta that when Drumpf’s predecessor was in office), in Fukui Prefecture (not “fuckyouey” hahaha no, “fooh-kooh-wee”) on the Sea of Japan side. Enough parentheses in that last sentence for you? Hehe. So as you can see on the map, google maps said it would be a two hour drive if I took the non-toll roads. Lemme tell you, freeways are anything but free here. The routes on the left and right on that map had tolls of $40 and $50 each, one way, so I was like the hell with that. It was an easy drive anyway once I got out of the urban sprawl and traffic jam factory of Kyoto City itself. Then it was twisty mountain roads, fresh, cool air, and scenic routes through mountain forests and alongside rivers in valleys. I thought it quite ironic and a helluva coincidence that I ended up driving the westernmost length of a road which I had ran the easternmost part of a few weeks prior on an overnighter with the third graders for work. Here’s a shot of the road sign:

ACCIIIIIIIIIIEEED!!!!!! So before I knew it I arrived in one piece, parked at a beach access parking lot that said “$10 a day, pay at the front” but I was like “I’m with Ondekoza, can I park here? Oh by the way do you know which house they’re in right now?” And the confused looking lady in charge grabbed a guy who was event staff and had him take me to where I needed to go, and in the end I found out that the fee is for people who want to go fishing out on the breakwaters there so whatever.

No sooner had I walked in the door and exchanged greetings than they tell me “we’ve got a job for you today.” Cool. I thought they’d ask me to write up something in English, or maybe do some lettering like make a sign or something, chalk art, whatever. Nope. “We want you to play shime-daiko for a five minute or so attention-getter we’re gonna play to fire people up for tomorrow’s show. It’s a mashup of Utsu Hachijo and Yatai Bayashi. Cool?” Jeeeeezus are you kidding me? Yeah ok I’m familiar with those pieces but it’s been ages, literally 27 years since I practiced them with the then-members of Ondekoza when they came to my hometown and stayed a few weeks during the latter part of their America Marathon Tour (I think maybe it was called the Odyssey tour?). Anyway. Moro-kun (the newest/youngest member?) and I sit down and start brainstorming. We talk out the arrangement of the piece and how it will progress, then do a “rehearsal” drumming out our parts on the table there. All was good. He was sweating bullets, really nervous about the whole thing. I was like “when are we supposed to do this?” And he said “in about half an hour.” HOLY SHIT FOR REAL?! Yikes. Ok ok ok, let’s run through this one more time, cool? We did. No problem. Moro-kun was still a bundle of nerves. I was like “Right. We got this. Let’s go! It’ll all work out in the end.”

Before we were on though, a small, quite out-there modern dance outfit called Monochrome Circus put on a performance at the hamlet’s shrine, so we hit that on our way. Here’s a photo of the entrance as seen from the street:

Fantastic atmosphere. The director of the group gave a short introduction, then explained what the first performance would be. In Japan, there’s a super popular style of comic called the yon-koma-manga (four-frame comic strip). Quite like the funnies in the daily newspapers back home actually. They would set a scene somewhere within the shrine grounds, then one person at a time would enter the scene, strike a pose and freeze, until four people had entered and then the audience would be prompted to say “FINISHED!” For the first one, the group members showed what the deal was so everyone would get it. From the second one on, they asked members of the audience to join in. I ran over to the stairs you can see in the photo, whipped out my iPhone and sat down, pretending to be messing with it—an homage to the modern mindless moron that today’s society overflows with so profusely. The second person came and stood behind me looking over my shoulder. I couldn’t see where the third or fourth people ended up. FINISHED!!! This kept on for a few more rounds, then the group did a few dances, which were really nice actually, and not SO out there. Then it was time to go. Righty-O. Let’s go!

Yeah so when we got to the seawall there, I didn’t get stage fright until it was time to take off my shoes and socks and sit down in front of the drum. Biggest goof? Forgetting to take off my damn sunglasses. Duhhhhhh. At least I managed to keep in time and didn’t fuck up disastrously, though the sticks were a helluva lot thicker and longer than the sticks I’m used to (Ondekoza makes all their drumsticks by hand). But it ain’t everyday you get to play with Ondekoza, so I’m glad I had the chance.

After that we just hung out, did dinner, then walked around checking out the sunset.

Not too shabby. In the evening, a wacko but fun group called something like the Tōhoku Six Prefecture Rock-n-rollers gave a show at the same stage Ondekoza would be using the next day so we went and saw that. Fun, crazy shit. Then off to bed.

The next morning we were up by 5:45, and then it was off on the daily 6am run. Everyone split up and went off on their own though and I was like WHAAAT?! So instead of going solo and getting completely the fuck lost, I tagged along with Naoto. What a scenic run! Through tunnels and down twisty roads that hugged the coastal sides of the smallish mountains there. The view was fantastic. We reached a turnaround point and Naoto said “I’ve got breakfast duty so I need to head back.” No problem. I followed him back, then ran an extra 1km and a bit. Still it totalled about 7km, three short of their daily 10km run (they don’t strictly adhere to this distance though, they’ve become a bit more flexible and I don’t think it’s a bad thing—when they were founded and when they ran in the US when I spent time with them they all ran together as a group but not anymore). Shower, breakfast, then a full-on day of setting up. After the setting up part was done, they had a soundcheck and mini rehearsal. I snapped this photo while that was going on.

What a place. Beautiful. Absolute nightmare for music though, as far as acoustics are concerned. But it all worked out. Two o’clock arrived and concertgoers started mozying in. We retreated to a large tent that was set up as a dressing room. They changed into their performing outfits, and I just zoned out for a bit. Before they go on, they always do this ritual of making a circle and doing warmup exercises, then adjacent members hold hands, and they do a little pre-game cheer of sorts. I was invited to join in all this so I was pleasantly surprised. Then it was GAME ON!!! I shot video of the whole show, and here’s a photo from Instagram of them playing Ōdaiko with me at the right shooting video.

Hahaa a cameo. Gimme a break. Anyway I’ll put a link to the video here in a sec but I just want to say they told the audience that video and photos were prohibited, so I set the video to “unlisted” and the only way to see it is if you have the link. They don’t really mind people seeing the video, it’s more a concern about people taking photos or video and then trying to sell it. Right then, here you go:

It’s about an hour twenty minutes or so. Hope you have nice speakers too. Yeah. So it was a fantastic show in an idyllic, beautiful environment. Then it was time to tear down and pack up. We had quite a bit of help this time so it was over within about an hour. Then they were gonna drive north along the Sea of Japan, heading to catch a ferry way up in Aomori, on their way to their annual Hokkaidō camp and concert, before heading off to a two week stint in China. I said a sincere thanks for being allowed to tag along, let them know that I really appreciated it, and then the director (Mr Matsuda) said “C’mon, you’re family! And besides that, you get shit done! Having you here was a huge help and it’s you who should be thanked.” I was floored. Did not expect to be told that. Wow. So it was in very high spirits thst I made the drive back home, arriving safely, but still full of adrenaline. What a weekend.

The next time I’ll get to fool around with them will be in September when they’ll be in Nagoya for a concert. I’m cooking up a plan to design and have vinyl stickers made for them to sell at shows and events while I’m back in the US this summer. 123stickers.com man, vinyl fucking stickers for reasonable prices and the damn things last forever. I’ve slapped a shitload of small ones here and there around Osaka and Kyoto over the years and they’re still there, in great shape. Graffiti background bared for all to see huh? Hahaha. Anyway. That’s all I have to say about that!

[nadi-nadi]

100 questions tag

tagged by @justkeeponsimming obvi 💕

1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED? closed, because i never leave them open omg

2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS? no, mine are better

3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT? i had to google what does it mean and i think they’re out

4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE? no, everybody knows i’m a good girl, officer

5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES? only to note what i want others to buy me

6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM? imagine having coupons in poland, can’t relate

7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES? bees, at least i’d have a chance to live

8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES? no, but i wish i had some, freckles are soooo cute

9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES? mostly, because if i don’t i look like a rude cunt

10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? oh boy, i could write an essay on my pet peeves

11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK? no, but lemme tell you i make like 3 and a half a day

12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS? boy, i lived next to a forest for 12 years, of course i did

13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS? not sure, but i guess so?

14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERES NO MUSIC PLAYING? yehhh

15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS? no, it’s gross but i do chew on straws (and i drink all cold drinks though a straw)

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK? none, i’m such a virgin

17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED? idk? 1,5 person??

18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK? annie lennox - don’t let it bring you down

19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK? iS iT oK FoR GuYs To WeAr PiNk?

20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS? no, i don’t really watch anything rn

21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE? anything with adam sander, i hate his guts

22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME? up in my ass

23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER? water with lemons, i only drink water now

24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN? sand, chickens really love sand baths, they might become stressed when they don’t have some sand to bathe in :(

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? i don’t know, i don’t care about food too much? i like vegan pizza tho

26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE? kill bill, american beauty

27. LAST PERSON, YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU? some random guy at a party, but it was a long time ago

28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT? no, i was too lazy

29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE? if my titties were a lil bit bigger then sure, i love myself

30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER? 12 or 13 years ago me and my friend were writing letters because WE WERE KIDS AND I DIDN’T HAVE INTERNET BACK THEN

31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR? no, it gets you dirty

32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET? but...

33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS? i don’t even have a car nor a driver’s licence

34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH? i like sandwiches!!! with avocado, all kinds of vegan shit or with peanut butter

35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST? i only drink green tea for breakfast, how sad

36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME? midnight - 1am mostly

37. ARE YOU LAZY? is lana del rey the most beautiful woman in the world?

38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN? we don’t celebrate halloween in this shithole

39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN? the ox!!

40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK? polish, english, a lil bit of russian and i used to learn german but lmao the only thing i can say is “ich habe keine lust”

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS? no, but now i wish i lived in the uk and subscribed to elle ehh

42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS? the fuck are lincoln logs lmaoooo

43. ARE YOU STUBBORN? as fuck

44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN? dude i’m from poland, have some mercy

45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS? used to watch muñeca brava when i was little lmao

46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? yesss, but i’m slowly overcoming the fear

47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR? when i’m riding with my mom (this is our song) or with my brother

48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? yes, i always start with florida kilos, then lolita and i like to end the show with black beauty (all by ldr)

49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR? sometimes, yes

50. EVER USED A GUN? does a bow count?

51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER? when i was 7

52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY? yes! but some of them are iconic (hsm!!!!)

53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL? i only get the second hand stress from everyone around me, i don’t celebrate christmas anymore

54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI? UM YESS?? i don’t like them that much but they’re so popular in poland omg

55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE? i... don’t eat pies :(

56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? a hoe, a singer, a doctor, an architect blah blah, i just wanna be a sb now

57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? kinda

58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING? all the time

59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY? not daily, but i take b12 weekly

60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS? y e s, do you guys walk around your house barefoot or what

61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE? rn? no. sometimes? yes.

62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED? p a j a m a s you naughty

63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT? like... a concert of a person i really wanted to see? then none. but i’m seeing lana in august ahhhh

64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART? biedronka, tesco or lidl?

65. NIKE OR ADIDAS? both or none, idk

66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS? what are fritos :(

67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS? NUTS

68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN? noo? ever hear of our lord and savior lana del rey?

69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS? not really, unfortunately

70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING? something that gets him lots of $$, idc what

71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? :( no :(

72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE? we don’t have thoooose, because in polish you spell everything the way it’s written, it wouldn’t be fun at all lmao

73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY? yeah, probably but i cry VERY rarely

74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS? i don’t, but my dad has shit ton of old classics

75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER? as above - my dad has one

76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE? regularly? no. sometimes? yehh

77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? i only ever loved lana

78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT? lana (obvi), the weeknd, cupcakke, marina

79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW? some shitband, i don’t even remember their name

80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA? how much do you need to hate yourself to drink cold tea

81. TEA OR COFFEE? green tea, because HeAlThY

82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES? sugar daddies

83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL? i haven’t swam in like 8 years, but i think i still could, the only thing is i’m afraid of wetting my hair

84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE? for like 20 secs yes

85. ARE YOU PATIENT? very patient, maybe even too patient

86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING? what wedding aksjdlasfklaj I DON’T KNOW HER

87. EVER WON A CONTEST? yes, i won katy perry’s album once lmaoo

88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY? not yet *winky dinky*

89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES? none, olives are disgusting

90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET? my mom taught me how to knit but i don’t remember anymore

91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE? fireplace in every roooooooom

92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? NO.

93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED? ugh

94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH? i had some crushes, but they were all trash

95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY? i’m not gonna cry nor throw a fit, but i WILL get my own way, mostly

96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? yikes, don’t even say that

97. DO YOU WANT KIDS? no i don’t, life’s so much more than getting married and fucking like rabbits

98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? yellow

99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW? my mommy, my brother, my bff, also can you miss someone you’ve never seen? if so, then lana

100. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS TAG NEXT?

no one sksklafl but it was fun

[miyaameow]

RFA+Saeran and V reacting to an Otome Mc?

if what u mean by this is that ‘MC is the person in the game’ then hoe

i gotchu

P.S. the name of the game is “Curiously Caught” because why? because idon’tknowsendhelp

Yoosung:

literally freaking the hell out

like “OMGOMGOMG I HOPE IGET MC’S ROUTE HEHEH”

he’s trying SO HARD to win MC’s heart he’s doing all sorts of research

recent google searches:

how to get MC in Curiously Caught

CURIOUSLY CAUGHT GUIDES FOR MC

MC’S favourite band/food/colour/type of cheese

he’s screaming inside and out 24/7

“OH MY GOD MC JUST GAVE ME SOME COINS AND OUR HEART TO HEART LEVEL WENTUP!!!!!!”

likes to call Seven to rant all about the game

can’t get his hands off his cell and lemme tell u his gaming friends are mAD

“YOOSUNG WHERE ARE U WE NEED TO DEFEAT THE BOSS-”

“CAN U NOT SEE THAT I’M VERY BUSY MY MC NEEDS ME”

Zen:

lookie lookie

a man his age playing an Otome game? P H L E A S E

it’s happening

here he is

smiling foolishly at his phone

“Zen.”

“ZEN.”

“ZEN YOU’RE UP NEXT WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON YOUR PHONE”

that’s right, he even plays during shows

he’s obsessed and is 200% determined to get MC’s route

“Just a sec I gotta do this… which one do you think is the better pick up line? ‘I will lock you up in my heart like a jail’ or ‘Although this is a bit cheesy, will you Gouda out with me’?”

low key wants to stab myself for writing^^ whatever the fuck those pickup lines are im sorry can u tell im bad a pickup lines

tries not to fangirl in public when MC gives him some hearts but he’s squealing on the inside sohardsometimeshecan’tbreathe

Jaehee:

“HAH. OTOME GAME? I AIN’T GOT NO TIME-

DID SOMEONE JUSTSAY CURIOUSLY CAUGHT

BECAUSE

I’VE BEEN PLAYING SINCE I WOKE UP AT 7AM AND IT’S 5AM THE NEXT DAY NOW

I’M STILL AWAKE

NOT WORKING

NOT SLEEPING

I’M GOING TO GET MC TO LOVE ME”

yea she’s that^^ type of person

she;s so devoted it’s kinda scary

Jumin is ???? “Assistant Kang, can you get me the files-”

she looks at him with the wild eyes of a boar and he’s like nope nevermind not today gotta go see ya holy shit she’s crazy

*employees slowly back away from her*

Jumin:

what is “Otome game”?

when someone introduces him to Curiously Caught he’s kinda ????

really confuzzled

he looks like those old people trying to work with technology

poking the screen with one finger really hard

lowering his reading classes and holding the phone 2 miles away from his face and then squinting his eyes to read the text 

asking questions about a million things:

“How do i go back”

“What do the coins do”

“How do i win”

also: “I can’t see”

he puts the game down at first because he’s confused and doesn’t know how to play, but he sees himself get drawn to it whenever he has free time

on the way to work? playing. taking a break? playing. 

there’s no stopping he’s becoming one of us

707:

LOLOLOLOLOL

it’s just that he

he beat the game in 1 day

he got all the coins, all the hearts and was able to ‘catch’ MC with his skillz

but that doesn’t stop him from playing the game another 21232534 times because he wants to find loopholes

and see what the bad ends are like

low key hacks the game to see what happens

the company is like what is happening to our game???

oops

sorry just SEVENBEING SEVEN AGAIN

also likes to show off

he goes to online forums that discuss the game and logs on as

“curiouscatlover” and literally s p o i l s the game for everyone BUT doesn’t tell him how to beat the levels

i hate u seven y r u doin dis to us

Saeran:

he isn’t interested at first

he just saw it on his appstore and was like 

ok i guess i’ll download it since they recommended it

YES THAT’S HOW PRECIOUS HE IS

starts playing but doesn’t see the meaning in it

kinda just stares at the game emotionless

“Wow! MC just gave you 10 coins!”

“ok”

“Options: kiss MC or walk away.”

…

he choose to walk away

“we just met why would i kiss her i am not a creep like Saeyoung”

low key wants to delete the game but his pride won’t let him

“I have to win this or else Saeyoung will rub it in my face that he won and i do not want to hear it”

V:

he’s JUST LIKE JUMIN

old ass men confused with game options and functions lmfao

dude calls up Jumin to work this out together

did i mention they met up at a cafe where TONS OF GIRLS AND THE PUBLIC ARE JUDGING THEM

and they were literally discussing the game like it was some sort of business tihng

“Jumin, if I choose to kiss her, will she dislike me? We just started playing this morning after all.”

“Hm.. I think we should just go for it - go big or go home right? That’s always been my business motto.”

“You’re right. Okay here it goes… YES! SHE GAVE ME 2 COINS.”

“See? This isn’t hard at all.”

*cue those comical laughs in the background of TV shows*

p.s. they win MC in like 1 month (much too long for 1 route)

SOMEONE DRAW JUMIN AND JIHYUN SITTING LIKE OLD MEN ON THEIR PHONES YOU KNOW ALL CONFUSED AND POKING WIT ONE FINGER AND LIKE JUST COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS TO THE CROWD OF GIRLS LAUGHING AT THEM

:)) i hope this was what you wanted lol

~Cherry L.

Masterpost: click here

Askbox/Requests: click here

[igglybuffliveblogs]

0:48 Chapter 16 begins now! I don't know what to say about the title so lets start! 1:11 The word "fire" gives me a bad feeling about this 1:19 Silly Aang, we do the Firebending stuff in Book 3 1:23 Ooo there's a poster of the Blue Spirit as well. And some guy with big ass lips or is that just facial hair? 1:31 And that's at Book 3 Aang, so you can go carry on with your mission to the North Pole now... He's going to the festival isn't he? 1:34 B-but Book 3 is called fire for a reason. Ehh fuck it let's see some firebending I guess 1:37 Yeah. Ya'll are fucked 1:43 I don't even wanna comment about my thoughts on this screenshot Jesus Christ wtf. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, congrats you just gave yourself a huge favor. 1:46 Return of the broom? Or whatever I called him. 1:50 Silly Sokka, Your not supposed to break the fourth wall 1:53 I honestly wanted dude with big lips/facial hair to be in this episode. 2:09 I don't know about you guys but all I see is a normal shrub. Congrats to whoever gets that reference..Who am I kidding nobody's getting it. 2:19 Aww no more Broom Aang 2:24 Wait? He's actually gonna use that disguise? ... 2:29 You better be big lips. 3:12 No shit Sokka. The word fire is in it. 3:29 Ozai breathes fire apparently. Also I get that their brothers but Ozai and Iroh both have goatees.. 3:39 I think of Aang as a pretty average character.. so why tf do I relate to him a lot 3:55 WHAT THE FUCK ROBIN! STOP INVADING AVATAR AND GET BACK TO WHATEVER STORY ARC TEEN TITANS WAS IN WHEN THIS EPISODE AIRED! Actually lemme google that hold on a sec.. Oh huh Teen Titans were in their final season when this episode aired.. 4:01 Aang! BOOK 3! DON'T FUCKING RISK YOUR LIFE! 4:06 Okay I'm not sure anymore if this is robin... Nothing a little google can't fix Yup that's him... And yes I only read his avatar stuff until "The Deserter" was mentioned so it's all good in case he's voiced other characters 4:18 Please Be Big Lips, Please Be Big Lips, Please Be Big Lips 4:51 Remember when I said I relate to Aang a lot? I change my mind. 5:01 GOD FUCKING DAMMIT AANG! 5:04 Must not compliment scene because of stupid decision 5:08 No he's just an idiot who thought you were actually gonna kill Katara. 5:18 I don't know why you're Aang. there could be wanted posters around the festival you know. 5:26 Big Lips trying to trick Aang I see. 5:44 Oh right the whistle. That still exists 5:53 Dammit Regular Lips. I didn't want you 6:42 What? 6:59 So uhh how did Dokka figure out he was part of the Fire Nation? 7:11 By leave the army do you mean leave the Fire Nation? Which would make Zuko the third? Or does it not count banished Fire Nation members? 7:22 Well I mean Zuko is banished to technically... Wait you didn't see his heartbreaking backstory my bad. 7:25 BOOK 3! BOOK 3 FIRE! BOOK 1 WATER! is that hard to understand now? Also I feel like the deserter guy is dead so nope he ain't training you. 7:33 Oh he is alive.... Book 3... Book 3 Fire.... Book 1 Water... I don't know anymore. 7:43 Fuck it I'm gonna stop talking about Book 3's title.. 7:50 Sokka just baited himself, now as long as Aang or Katara mention his instincts life will be good. 7:52 C'mon Aang and Katara... mention the instincts 8:10 Oh what. 8:51 Nice to see you back person who could've killed the Avatar. Don't bring that reincarnating shit to the table you know for a damn fact that if they killed Aang they could freely use the comet without worrying. 9:26 Oh I assume it's because now the Fire Nation are going here. 9:36 Why does Aang need to learn Firebending last though... 9:41 That's totally not creepy at all. 10:03 What? That doesn't really explain why Firebending should be last for Aang 10:09 Oh shit it's him. Not Big Lips but it's him! 10:14 Is it weird I don't get the point he's making? 10:25 Nevermind. Still doesn't explain why you're teaching him firebending last. 11:03 I guess that makes sense? 11:26 Oh shit Avatar Spirit is back 11:49 So apparently the Avatar Spirit can manipulate minds without Aang noticing... Neat? 12:12 Well I'm like 50% sure Aang was talking in "The Waterbending Scroll" when he was waterbending but alright fire is alive and that stuff. 12:32 Wouldn't be surprised if that was how Aang learned how to firebend tbh 12:57 Aang better have this exact stance when battling Ozai 13:27 He... actually has a point Aang. 13:56 OH SHIT REALLY HE WAS HIS PUPIL? 14:36 Aang the episode has about 5 minutes left you aren't gonna be able to make fire with your fingertips this episode. 15:07 No you aren't.... That was with waterbending.. and you didn't cover yourself in a body of fire now did you? 15:32 Welp my prediction failed... in a minute too.. 15:43 AANG! Stop forgetting what your Master Jeong Jeong said! 15:47 To be fair.. It's Aang and Katara's fault that Katara is about to die. 15:49 Okay what the fuck was even that scene, one second it's just light the next Katara is just screaming. Not that I want to directly see her get hurt by fire but like c'mon now. 16:11 I would probably feel sorry for Katara more if I actually saw what happened and not some light and then screaming. 16:56 At least she's getting a new waterbending technique now? Actually it's probably just healing her hands 17:00 Yup. 17:14 Wait I just realized... Did Master Jeong Jeong get those scars because he burnt himself? 17:49 Shit we need you for Book 3 don't risk your life! 22:01 We'll hopefully meet him in Book 3 right? right? (Don't answer that btw) 23:08 And that was Chapter 16! Definitely more enjoyable than Chapter 15 in my opinion. We got development for Aang's 'destiny' and we got some backstory on Admiral Zhao's character. Aang has kind of learned how to firebend but I don't expect him to use it again until Book 3. Anyways I give Chapter 16 a 7.5/10

I'll see you with Chapter 17 in an hour.

[thruthisnight]

ok so what are UR top 5 gaming viddys? ☕️😎 also YES IN THIS HOUSE WE R DREAM DADDY TRUTHERS YES WE ARE no one can stop us

this is also not in any particular order. i feel like im always saying spookyweek and undertale but lemme elaborate lemme step outside those labels for a sec

1. final google feud — masterpiece of a video. phil throws out that all or nothing and by the title u already know how its gonna end. “i cant get it i dont have legs” i wanna be on whatever they were on in this video 10/10

2. pong — similar chaotic vibes, phil saying the most insane shit (we’re getting naked, two boys one keyboard, holding onto az, km, etc) dan just keeps talking phil is laughing at himself. the top comment is “dan looks so happy in this” and like yeah man he does what a goofy lil vid

3. keep talking nobody explodes — obsessed w how well they do in the first video like when dan goes what ?? did u expect us to do bad ??? lol no sorry we have a psychic connection !! the fact that phil used all their paper to print the manual is so funny to me too omfg. also dan being evil and winding phil up at the end but they STILL manage to defuse the bomb?? lmfaoooo

4. truth bombs — these are genuinely so funny theyre all obv close friends but it really shows with the jokes they make about each other in these (god of serotonin deficiency still kills me every time) both truth bombs vids are edited so funny imo and its constant laughs 10000/10

5. minecraft — as someone who grew up obsessed w minecraft this vid is painful to watch it takes them 10 minutes to figure out how to break blocks. a creeper kills them and when they respawn they go “we survived the night 🥳🥳🤩🥳🤩” like girl no u didnt 😭😭 i quote that part to my sister all the time. just complete dumbassery in this video and its very dear to me. “oh look its rue.” “not it isnt” pls still too soon

honorable mentions go to dream daddy, whos your daddy, bishi bashi, and the stormy ascent vid

[racheltgibsau]

It’s Time to Retest Your Page Speed [Google’s latest update]

Back in October, we were the first to claim that 2019 will be the year of page speed. We’ve got our eyes on the market and lemme tell you: Google is sending serious signals that it’s crunch time to deal with your slow pages.

Faster pages are a strategic marketing priority.

And sure enough, Google has made yet another change to uphold that prediction. In early November, they quietly rolled out the most significant update to a core performance tool we’ve seen to date, announcing the latest version of PageSpeed Insights.

So what does this update mean for marketers and their bottom line?

If you’ve used PageSpeed Insights to test page performance, it’s time to retest! Because your old speed scores don’t matter anymore. The good news is that you’ll have new data at your fingertips to help you speed up in ways that actually matter to your prospects and potential conversions.

Let’s take a closer look at this update and explore why it should play a role in your page speed strategy in 2019.

“You can’t improve what you don’t measure.”

PageSpeed Insights is easily Google’s most popular tool for measuring web performance.

When you look at the screenshot below, you can see why. It provides an easy-to-interpret color-coded scoring system that you don’t need an engineering degree to understand—red is bad, green is good. Your page is either fast, average, or slow. The closer to a perfect 100 you can get, the better. The scores also come with recommendations of what you can do to improve. It’s almost too easy to understand.

PageSpeed Insights v.4 (October 2019)

Earlier versions of PageSpeed Insights had some issues with how they reported performance. Simple results could be misleading, and experts soon discovered that implementing Google’s suggested optimizations didn’t necessarily line up with a better user experience. You might’ve gotten great scores, sure, but your pages weren’t always any faster or your visitors more engaged. Don’t even get me started on your conversion rates.

As Benjamin Estes over at Moz explains, “there are smarter ways to assess and improve site speed. A perfect score doesn’t guarantee a fast site.” Many experts like Estes began turning to more reliable tools—like GTMetrix, Pingdom, or Google’s own Lighthouse—to run more accurate performance audits. And who would blame them?

The latest version of PageSpeed Insights (v.5) fixes these issues by putting the focus where it should be: on user experience. This is a huge leap forward for marketers because it means that the tool is directly relevant to conversion optimization. It can help you get faster in ways that translate into higher engagement and conversion rates.

For the full scoop, check out Google’s release notes here, but there are really two changes you should note:

1. PageSpeed Insights Now Uses Lighthouse

Lighthouse is excellent because it gives you a more accurate picture of how your landing pages perform with lab and field data. The lab data means you get results ASAP, whether you’ve seen traffic yet or not. This gives you a way to test and improve your pages before you point your ads at them.

An important note is that Lighthouse simulates a page load on a mid-tier device (Moto G4) on a mobile network—roughly equivalent to the fastest 25% of 3G and slowest 25% of 4G. So it’s a pretty solid estimate of what you’re likely to see in the wild. Here’s what it looks like:

New lab data from Lighthouse provides a much better picture of what a user experiences.

The Lighthouse engine behind PageSpeed Insights also brings more user-centric performance metrics with it, two of which are very important to your landing pages:

First Meaningful Paint (FMP) is the time it takes for the first valuable piece of content to load—usually a hero shot or video above the fold. It’s the “is this useful?” moment when you catch—or lose—a visitor’s attention. Even if the rest of your page loads later, it’s paramount that the first page elements appear as quickly as possible.

Time to Interactive (TTI) is the first moment a visitor can interact with your page. It’s the best measure of speed to determine if a visitor will happily engage with your content, or whether they’ll get annoyed and bounce because your landing page keeps choking on clunky JavaScript or poorly prioritized code.

2. PageSpeed Insights Gives You Better Opportunities and Diagnostics

You can bid adieu to the short checklist of optimizations that experts like Ben Estes called out. Google has replaced the (moderately useful) feature with new opportunities and audits that will actually help you improve your visitor experience. These include new suggestions and estimated savings for each.

Your priorities should be much clearer:

Opportunities and Diagnostics in PageSpeed Insights

How your Unbounce Pages Stack Up

Faster pages earn you more traffic and better engagement. As a result, page speed has a major impact on your conversion rates and can even help you win more ad impressions for less. That’s why we’ve made page speed our priority into 2019.

To show how Unbounce stacks up in the real world, we chose to test an actual page created by one of our customers, Webistry, a digital marketing agency. Their “Tiny Homes of Maine” page is a real-world example.

Click here to expand.

It has tons of custom functionality, so it’s fairly representative of what many customers do with the Unbounce builder. (The ability to customize is often why customers choose Unbounce in the first place!) This page includes custom Javascript for smooth scrolling, a sticky header, fading header, some custom CSS, and a bunch of images of various file types.

We tested two versions of “Tiny Homes of Maine” using Google PageSpeed Insights v.5, running a minimum of three tests using the median results. The results below focus on the mobile scores:

Speed Boost

First, we tested the original Tiny Homes of Maine landing page using Unbounce’s Speed Boost, which optimizes landing page delivery to do things like leverage browser caching, prioritize visible content to load first, bundle Javascript, and so on. Speed Boost handles the technical recommendations from PageSpeed Insights that developers usually tackle behind the scenes. You can see the overall results of the test here:

Tiny Homes of Maine with Speed Boost

Speed Boost + Auto Image Optimizer

Next, we retested the Tiny Homes of Maine adding our upcoming Auto Image Optimizer into the mix. This new tool automatically optimizes your images as your page is published. You can fine-tune your settings, but we used the defaults here. Check out the mobile results:

Tiny Homes of Maine with Speed Boost + Auto Image Optimizer

The score jumped from a respectable 88 to an incredible 96 and, more meaningfully, we saw time to interactive improve from 4.4 sec to 2.7 sec. That’s 12.3 seconds faster than the average mobile web page, and 0.3 seconds faster than Google’s ideal 3 second load time.

Here we’ve shared the time to interactive speeds from both tests, for desktop and mobile, measured against the average web page:

Time to Interactive is the best measure for whether a visitor will engage or bounce. Our average mobile speed is based on Google’s mobile benchmarks, while the desktop average comes from a study by SEO Chat.

Overall, when we tested, we saw Speed Boost and Auto Image Optimizer create a dramatic difference in performance without sacrificing visual appeal or complexity. We took a compelling page that converts well and upped the ante by serving it at blazing speeds. Whether on a mobile or desktop, the page loads in a way that significantly improves the visitor’s experience.

Speed Boost is already available to all our customers, and the Auto Image Optimizer is coming very soon. This means your own landing pages can start achieving speeds like the ones above right now. Read more about our page speed initiatives.

But hold up. What about AMP? You might already know about AMP (accelerated mobile) pages, which load almost instantly—like, less than half a second instantly. Not only do they lead to crazy engagement, but they eliminate waiting on even slow network connections. This makes your content accessible to everyone, including the 70% of global users still on 3G connections—or 70% of pedestrians on their phones while they wait at a crosswalk.

While AMP can be complicated to build, Unbounce’s drag-and-drop builder lets you create AMP in the same way you create all your landing pages. If you’d like to try it out for yourself, you can sign up for AMP beta which opens in January 2019.

For the speed test above, we decided to leave AMP out of it since AMP restricts some custom functionality and the page we used would’ve required a few design changes. It wouldn’t be apples to apples. But we’re pretty pumped to show you more of it in the next while.

Page Speed & Your Bottom Line

Seconds are one thing, but dollars are another. Google recognizes the direct impact that fast load times have on your bottom line, which is why they released the Impact Calculator in February 2018. This tool sheds more light on why providing accurate measurements is so important.

Let’s revisit our Tiny Homes landing page above as an example. Imagine this landing page gets 1,000 visitors a month, at a conversion rate of 3.5% (which is just slightly higher than the average Real Estate industry landing page in our Conversion Benchmark Report). If the conversion rate from lead to sale is 5%, and each conversion is worth an average of $54,000 (which is the mid-priced home on their landing page), then their average lead value is $2700.

Tiny Homes of Maine in the Impact Calculator

When we input those numbers into the Impact Calculator and improve their mobile page speed from 4.4 seconds to 2.8 seconds, as shown in the test above, the impact to revenue for this one page could be $52,580.

Heck yes, speed matters.

And if we forecast the near-instant speeds promised by Accelerated Mobile Pages (AMP), that page could see a potential annual revenue impact of more than $179,202 USD if it were to load in 1 second.

And that’s one landing page!

If you’ve been struggling with how to improve your page loading times, this latest version of PageSpeed Insights now gives you a much more meaningful picture of how you’re doing—and how to get faster.

You may not have considered speed a strategic priority, but when seconds can equate to tens of thousands of dollars, you need to. Try the Impact Calculator yourself or contact our sales team if you’d like to see what kind of revenue impact Unbounce landing pages can get you.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8217493 https://unbounce.com/landing-pages/time-to-retest-page-speed/

[maxslogic25]

It’s Time to Retest Your Page Speed [Google’s latest update]

Back in October, we were the first to claim that 2019 will be the year of page speed. We’ve got our eyes on the market and lemme tell you: Google is sending serious signals that it’s crunch time to deal with your slow pages.

Faster pages are a strategic marketing priority.

And sure enough, Google has made yet another change to uphold that prediction. In early November, they quietly rolled out the most significant update to a core performance tool we’ve seen to date, announcing the latest version of PageSpeed Insights.

So what does this update mean for marketers and their bottom line?

If you’ve used PageSpeed Insights to test page performance, it’s time to retest! Because your old speed scores don’t matter anymore. The good news is that you’ll have new data at your fingertips to help you speed up in ways that actually matter to your prospects and potential conversions.

Let’s take a closer look at this update and explore why it should play a role in your page speed strategy in 2019.

“You can’t improve what you don’t measure.”

PageSpeed Insights is easily Google’s most popular tool for measuring web performance.

When you look at the screenshot below, you can see why. It provides an easy-to-interpret color-coded scoring system that you don’t need an engineering degree to understand—red is bad, green is good. Your page is either fast, average, or slow. The closer to a perfect 100 you can get, the better. The scores also come with recommendations of what you can do to improve. It’s almost too easy to understand.

PageSpeed Insights v.4 (October 2019)

Earlier versions of PageSpeed Insights had some issues with how they reported performance. Simple results could be misleading, and experts soon discovered that implementing Google’s suggested optimizations didn’t necessarily line up with a better user experience. You might’ve gotten great scores, sure, but your pages weren’t always any faster or your visitors more engaged. Don’t even get me started on your conversion rates.

As Benjamin Estes over at Moz explains, “there are smarter ways to assess and improve site speed. A perfect score doesn’t guarantee a fast site.” Many experts like Estes began turning to more reliable tools—like GTMetrix, Pingdom, or Google’s own Lighthouse—to run more accurate performance audits. And who would blame them?

The latest version of PageSpeed Insights (v.5) fixes these issues by putting the focus where it should be: on user experience. This is a huge leap forward for marketers because it means that the tool is directly relevant to conversion optimization. It can help you get faster in ways that translate into higher engagement and conversion rates.

For the full scoop, check out Google’s release notes here, but there are really two changes you should note:

1. PageSpeed Insights Now Uses Lighthouse

Lighthouse is excellent because it gives you a more accurate picture of how your landing pages perform with lab and field data. The lab data means you get results ASAP, whether you’ve seen traffic yet or not. This gives you a way to test and improve your pages before you point your ads at them.

An important note is that Lighthouse simulates a page load on a mid-tier device (Moto G4) on a mobile network—roughly equivalent to the fastest 25% of 3G and slowest 25% of 4G. So it’s a pretty solid estimate of what you’re likely to see in the wild. Here’s what it looks like:

New lab data from Lighthouse provides a much better picture of what a user experiences.

The Lighthouse engine behind PageSpeed Insights also brings more user-centric performance metrics with it, two of which are very important to your landing pages:

First Meaningful Paint (FMP) is the time it takes for the first valuable piece of content to load—usually a hero shot or video above the fold. It’s the “is this useful?” moment when you catch—or lose—a visitor’s attention. Even if the rest of your page loads later, it’s paramount that the first page elements appear as quickly as possible.

Time to Interactive (TTI) is the first moment a visitor can interact with your page. It’s the best measure of speed to determine if a visitor will happily engage with your content, or whether they’ll get annoyed and bounce because your landing page keeps choking on clunky JavaScript or poorly prioritized code.

2. PageSpeed Insights Gives You Better Opportunities and Diagnostics

You can bid adieu to the short checklist of optimizations that experts like Ben Estes called out. Google has replaced the (moderately useful) feature with new opportunities and audits that will actually help you improve your visitor experience. These include new suggestions and estimated savings for each.

Your priorities should be much clearer:

Opportunities and Diagnostics in PageSpeed Insights

How your Unbounce Pages Stack Up

Faster pages earn you more traffic and better engagement. As a result, page speed has a major impact on your conversion rates and can even help you win more ad impressions for less. That’s why we’ve made page speed our priority into 2019.

To show how Unbounce stacks up in the real world, we chose to test an actual page created by one of our customers, Webistry, a digital marketing agency. Their “Tiny Homes of Maine” page is a real-world example.

Click here to expand.

It has tons of custom functionality, so it’s fairly representative of what many customers do with the Unbounce builder. (The ability to customize is often why customers choose Unbounce in the first place!) This page includes custom Javascript for smooth scrolling, a sticky header, fading header, some custom CSS, and a bunch of images of various file types.

We tested two versions of “Tiny Homes of Maine” using Google PageSpeed Insights v.5, running a minimum of three tests using the median results. The results below focus on the mobile scores:

Speed Boost

First, we tested the original Tiny Homes of Maine landing page using Unbounce’s Speed Boost, which optimizes landing page delivery to do things like leverage browser caching, prioritize visible content to load first, bundle Javascript, and so on. Speed Boost handles the technical recommendations from PageSpeed Insights that developers usually tackle behind the scenes. You can see the overall results of the test here:

Tiny Homes of Maine with Speed Boost

Speed Boost + Auto Image Optimizer

Next, we retested the Tiny Homes of Maine adding our upcoming Auto Image Optimizer into the mix. This new tool automatically optimizes your images as your page is published. You can fine-tune your settings, but we used the defaults here. Check out the mobile results:

Tiny Homes of Maine with Speed Boost + Auto Image Optimizer

The score jumped from a respectable 88 to an incredible 96 and, more meaningfully, we saw time to interactive improve from 4.4 sec to 2.7 sec. That’s 12.3 seconds faster than the average mobile web page, and 0.3 seconds faster than Google’s ideal 3 second load time.

Here we’ve shared the time to interactive speeds from both tests, for desktop and mobile, measured against the average web page:

Time to Interactive is the best measure for whether a visitor will engage or bounce. Our average mobile speed is based on Google’s mobile benchmarks, while the desktop average comes from a study by SEO Chat.

Overall, when we tested, we saw Speed Boost and Auto Image Optimizer create a dramatic difference in performance without sacrificing visual appeal or complexity. We took a compelling page that converts well and upped the ante by serving it at blazing speeds. Whether on a mobile or desktop, the page loads in a way that significantly improves the visitor’s experience.

Speed Boost is already available to all our customers, and the Auto Image Optimizer is coming very soon. This means your own landing pages can start achieving speeds like the ones above right now. Read more about our page speed initiatives.

But hold up. What about AMP? You might already know about AMP (accelerated mobile) pages, which load almost instantly—like, less than half a second instantly. Not only do they lead to crazy engagement, but they eliminate waiting on even slow network connections. This makes your content accessible to everyone, including the 70% of global users still on 3G connections—or 70% of pedestrians on their phones while they wait at a crosswalk.

While AMP can be complicated to build, Unbounce’s drag-and-drop builder lets you create AMP in the same way you create all your landing pages. If you’d like to try it out for yourself, you can sign up for AMP beta which opens in January 2019.

For the speed test above, we decided to leave AMP out of it since AMP restricts some custom functionality and the page we used would’ve required a few design changes. It wouldn’t be apples to apples. But we’re pretty pumped to show you more of it in the next while.

Page Speed & Your Bottom Line

Seconds are one thing, but dollars are another. Google recognizes the direct impact that fast load times have on your bottom line, which is why they released the Impact Calculator in February 2018. This tool sheds more light on why providing accurate measurements is so important.

Let’s revisit our Tiny Homes landing page above as an example. Imagine this landing page gets 1,000 visitors a month, at a conversion rate of 3.5% (which is just slightly higher than the average Real Estate industry landing page in our Conversion Benchmark Report). If the conversion rate from lead to sale is 5%, and each conversion is worth an average of $54,000 (which is the mid-priced home on their landing page), then their average lead value is $2700.

Tiny Homes of Maine in the Impact Calculator

When we input those numbers into the Impact Calculator and improve their mobile page speed from 4.4 seconds to 2.8 seconds, as shown in the test above, the impact to revenue for this one page could be $52,580.

Heck yes, speed matters.

And if we forecast the near-instant speeds promised by Accelerated Mobile Pages (AMP), that page could see a potential annual revenue impact of more than $179,202 USD if it were to load in 1 second.

And that’s one landing page!

If you’ve been struggling with how to improve your page loading times, this latest version of PageSpeed Insights now gives you a much more meaningful picture of how you’re doing—and how to get faster.

You may not have considered speed a strategic priority, but when seconds can equate to tens of thousands of dollars, you need to. Try the Impact Calculator yourself or contact our sales team if you’d like to see what kind of revenue impact Unbounce landing pages can get you.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8217493 https://unbounce.com/landing-pages/time-to-retest-page-speed/

[archiebwoollard]

It’s Time to Retest Your Page Speed [Google’s latest update]

Back in October, we were the first to claim that 2019 will be the year of page speed. We’ve got our eyes on the market and lemme tell you: Google is sending serious signals that it’s crunch time to deal with your slow pages.

Faster pages are a strategic marketing priority.

And sure enough, Google has made yet another change to uphold that prediction. In early November, they quietly rolled out the most significant update to a core performance tool we’ve seen to date, announcing the latest version of PageSpeed Insights.

So what does this update mean for marketers and their bottom line?

If you’ve used PageSpeed Insights to test page performance, it’s time to retest! Because your old speed scores don’t matter anymore. The good news is that you’ll have new data at your fingertips to help you speed up in ways that actually matter to your prospects and potential conversions.

Let’s take a closer look at this update and explore why it should play a role in your page speed strategy in 2019.

“You can’t improve what you don’t measure.”

PageSpeed Insights is easily Google’s most popular tool for measuring web performance.

When you look at the screenshot below, you can see why. It provides an easy-to-interpret color-coded scoring system that you don’t need an engineering degree to understand—red is bad, green is good. Your page is either fast, average, or slow. The closer to a perfect 100 you can get, the better. The scores also come with recommendations of what you can do to improve. It’s almost too easy to understand.

PageSpeed Insights v.4 (October 2019)

Earlier versions of PageSpeed Insights had some issues with how they reported performance. Simple results could be misleading, and experts soon discovered that implementing Google’s suggested optimizations didn’t necessarily line up with a better user experience. You might’ve gotten great scores, sure, but your pages weren’t always any faster or your visitors more engaged. Don’t even get me started on your conversion rates.

As Benjamin Estes over at Moz explains, “there are smarter ways to assess and improve site speed. A perfect score doesn’t guarantee a fast site.” Many experts like Estes began turning to more reliable tools—like GTMetrix, Pingdom, or Google’s own Lighthouse—to run more accurate performance audits. And who would blame them?

The latest version of PageSpeed Insights (v.5) fixes these issues by putting the focus where it should be: on user experience. This is a huge leap forward for marketers because it means that the tool is directly relevant to conversion optimization. It can help you get faster in ways that translate into higher engagement and conversion rates.

For the full scoop, check out Google’s release notes here, but there are really two changes you should note:

1. PageSpeed Insights Now Uses Lighthouse

Lighthouse is excellent because it gives you a more accurate picture of how your landing pages perform with lab and field data. The lab data means you get results ASAP, whether you’ve seen traffic yet or not. This gives you a way to test and improve your pages before you point your ads at them.

An important note is that Lighthouse simulates a page load on a mid-tier device (Moto G4) on a mobile network—roughly equivalent to the fastest 25% of 3G and slowest 25% of 4G. So it’s a pretty solid estimate of what you’re likely to see in the wild. Here’s what it looks like:

New lab data from Lighthouse provides a much better picture of what a user experiences.

The Lighthouse engine behind PageSpeed Insights also brings more user-centric performance metrics with it, two of which are very important to your landing pages:

First Meaningful Paint (FMP) is the time it takes for the first valuable piece of content to load—usually a hero shot or video above the fold. It’s the “is this useful?” moment when you catch—or lose—a visitor’s attention. Even if the rest of your page loads later, it’s paramount that the first page elements appear as quickly as possible.

Time to Interactive (TTI) is the first moment a visitor can interact with your page. It’s the best measure of speed to determine if a visitor will happily engage with your content, or whether they’ll get annoyed and bounce because your landing page keeps choking on clunky JavaScript or poorly prioritized code.

2. PageSpeed Insights Gives You Better Opportunities and Diagnostics

You can bid adieu to the short checklist of optimizations that experts like Ben Estes called out. Google has replaced the (moderately useful) feature with new opportunities and audits that will actually help you improve your visitor experience. These include new suggestions and estimated savings for each.

Your priorities should be much clearer:

Opportunities and Diagnostics in PageSpeed Insights

How your Unbounce Pages Stack Up

Faster pages earn you more traffic and better engagement. As a result, page speed has a major impact on your conversion rates and can even help you win more ad impressions for less. That’s why we’ve made page speed our priority into 2019.

To show how Unbounce stacks up in the real world, we chose to test an actual page created by one of our customers, Webistry, a digital marketing agency. Their “Tiny Homes of Maine” page is a real-world example.

Click here to expand.

It has tons of custom functionality, so it’s fairly representative of what many customers do with the Unbounce builder. (The ability to customize is often why customers choose Unbounce in the first place!) This page includes custom Javascript for smooth scrolling, a sticky header, fading header, some custom CSS, and a bunch of images of various file types.

We tested two versions of “Tiny Homes of Maine” using Google PageSpeed Insights v.5, running a minimum of three tests using the median results. The results below focus on the mobile scores:

Speed Boost

First, we tested the original Tiny Homes of Maine landing page using Unbounce’s Speed Boost, which optimizes landing page delivery to do things like leverage browser caching, prioritize visible content to load first, bundle Javascript, and so on. Speed Boost handles the technical recommendations from PageSpeed Insights that developers usually tackle behind the scenes. You can see the overall results of the test here:

Tiny Homes of Maine with Speed Boost

Speed Boost + Auto Image Optimizer

Next, we retested the Tiny Homes of Maine adding our upcoming Auto Image Optimizer into the mix. This new tool automatically optimizes your images as your page is published. You can fine-tune your settings, but we used the defaults here. Check out the mobile results:

Tiny Homes of Maine with Speed Boost + Auto Image Optimizer

The score jumped from a respectable 88 to an incredible 96 and, more meaningfully, we saw time to interactive improve from 4.4 sec to 2.7 sec. That’s 12.3 seconds faster than the average mobile web page, and 0.3 seconds faster than Google’s ideal 3 second load time.

Here we’ve shared the time to interactive speeds from both tests, for desktop and mobile, measured against the average web page:

Time to Interactive is the best measure for whether a visitor will engage or bounce. Our average mobile speed is based on Google’s mobile benchmarks, while the desktop average comes from a study by SEO Chat.

Overall, when we tested, we saw Speed Boost and Auto Image Optimizer create a dramatic difference in performance without sacrificing visual appeal or complexity. We took a compelling page that converts well and upped the ante by serving it at blazing speeds. Whether on a mobile or desktop, the page loads in a way that significantly improves the visitor’s experience.

Speed Boost is already available to all our customers, and the Auto Image Optimizer is coming very soon. This means your own landing pages can start achieving speeds like the ones above right now. Read more about our page speed initiatives.

But hold up. What about AMP? You might already know about AMP (accelerated mobile) pages, which load almost instantly—like, less than half a second instantly. Not only do they lead to crazy engagement, but they eliminate waiting on even slow network connections. This makes your content accessible to everyone, including the 70% of global users still on 3G connections—or 70% of pedestrians on their phones while they wait at a crosswalk.

While AMP can be complicated to build, Unbounce’s drag-and-drop builder lets you create AMP in the same way you create all your landing pages. If you’d like to try it out for yourself, you can sign up for AMP beta which opens in January 2019.

For the speed test above, we decided to leave AMP out of it since AMP restricts some custom functionality and the page we used would’ve required a few design changes. It wouldn’t be apples to apples. But we’re pretty pumped to show you more of it in the next while.

Page Speed & Your Bottom Line

Seconds are one thing, but dollars are another. Google recognizes the direct impact that fast load times have on your bottom line, which is why they released the Impact Calculator in February 2018. This tool sheds more light on why providing accurate measurements is so important.

Let’s revisit our Tiny Homes landing page above as an example. Imagine this landing page gets 1,000 visitors a month, at a conversion rate of 3.5% (which is just slightly higher than the average Real Estate industry landing page in our Conversion Benchmark Report). If the conversion rate from lead to sale is 5%, and each conversion is worth an average of $54,000 (which is the mid-priced home on their landing page), then their average lead value is $2700.

Tiny Homes of Maine in the Impact Calculator

When we input those numbers into the Impact Calculator and improve their mobile page speed from 4.4 seconds to 2.8 seconds, as shown in the test above, the impact to revenue for this one page could be $52,580.

Heck yes, speed matters.

And if we forecast the near-instant speeds promised by Accelerated Mobile Pages (AMP), that page could see a potential annual revenue impact of more than $179,202 USD if it were to load in 1 second.

And that’s one landing page!

If you’ve been struggling with how to improve your page loading times, this latest version of PageSpeed Insights now gives you a much more meaningful picture of how you’re doing—and how to get faster.

You may not have considered speed a strategic priority, but when seconds can equate to tens of thousands of dollars, you need to. Try the Impact Calculator yourself or contact our sales team if you’d like to see what kind of revenue impact Unbounce landing pages can get you.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8217493 https://unbounce.com/landing-pages/time-to-retest-page-speed/

[zacdhaenkeau]

It’s Time to Retest Your Page Speed [Google’s latest update]

Back in October, we were the first to claim that 2019 will be the year of page speed. We’ve got our eyes on the market and lemme tell you: Google is sending serious signals that it’s crunch time to deal with your slow pages.

Faster pages are a strategic marketing priority.

And sure enough, Google has made yet another change to uphold that prediction. In early November, they quietly rolled out the most significant update to a core performance tool we’ve seen to date, announcing the latest version of PageSpeed Insights.

So what does this update mean for marketers and their bottom line?

If you’ve used PageSpeed Insights to test page performance, it’s time to retest! Because your old speed scores don’t matter anymore. The good news is that you’ll have new data at your fingertips to help you speed up in ways that actually matter to your prospects and potential conversions.

Let’s take a closer look at this update and explore why it should play a role in your page speed strategy in 2019.

“You can’t improve what you don’t measure.”

PageSpeed Insights is easily Google’s most popular tool for measuring web performance.

When you look at the screenshot below, you can see why. It provides an easy-to-interpret color-coded scoring system that you don’t need an engineering degree to understand—red is bad, green is good. Your page is either fast, average, or slow. The closer to a perfect 100 you can get, the better. The scores also come with recommendations of what you can do to improve. It’s almost too easy to understand.

PageSpeed Insights v.4 (October 2019)

Earlier versions of PageSpeed Insights had some issues with how they reported performance. Simple results could be misleading, and experts soon discovered that implementing Google’s suggested optimizations didn’t necessarily line up with a better user experience. You might’ve gotten great scores, sure, but your pages weren’t always any faster or your visitors more engaged. Don’t even get me started on your conversion rates.

As Benjamin Estes over at Moz explains, “there are smarter ways to assess and improve site speed. A perfect score doesn’t guarantee a fast site.” Many experts like Estes began turning to more reliable tools—like GTMetrix, Pingdom, or Google’s own Lighthouse—to run more accurate performance audits. And who would blame them?

The latest version of PageSpeed Insights (v.5) fixes these issues by putting the focus where it should be: on user experience. This is a huge leap forward for marketers because it means that the tool is directly relevant to conversion optimization. It can help you get faster in ways that translate into higher engagement and conversion rates.

For the full scoop, check out Google’s release notes here, but there are really two changes you should note:

1. PageSpeed Insights Now Uses Lighthouse

Lighthouse is excellent because it gives you a more accurate picture of how your landing pages perform with lab and field data. The lab data means you get results ASAP, whether you’ve seen traffic yet or not. This gives you a way to test and improve your pages before you point your ads at them.

An important note is that Lighthouse simulates a page load on a mid-tier device (Moto G4) on a mobile network—roughly equivalent to the fastest 25% of 3G and slowest 25% of 4G. So it’s a pretty solid estimate of what you’re likely to see in the wild. Here’s what it looks like:

New lab data from Lighthouse provides a much better picture of what a user experiences.

The Lighthouse engine behind PageSpeed Insights also brings more user-centric performance metrics with it, two of which are very important to your landing pages:

First Meaningful Paint (FMP) is the time it takes for the first valuable piece of content to load—usually a hero shot or video above the fold. It’s the “is this useful?” moment when you catch—or lose—a visitor’s attention. Even if the rest of your page loads later, it’s paramount that the first page elements appear as quickly as possible.

Time to Interactive (TTI) is the first moment a visitor can interact with your page. It’s the best measure of speed to determine if a visitor will happily engage with your content, or whether they’ll get annoyed and bounce because your landing page keeps choking on clunky JavaScript or poorly prioritized code.

2. PageSpeed Insights Gives You Better Opportunities and Diagnostics

You can bid adieu to the short checklist of optimizations that experts like Ben Estes called out. Google has replaced the (moderately useful) feature with new opportunities and audits that will actually help you improve your visitor experience. These include new suggestions and estimated savings for each.

Your priorities should be much clearer:

Opportunities and Diagnostics in PageSpeed Insights

How your Unbounce Pages Stack Up

Faster pages earn you more traffic and better engagement. As a result, page speed has a major impact on your conversion rates and can even help you win more ad impressions for less. That’s why we’ve made page speed our priority into 2019.

To show how Unbounce stacks up in the real world, we chose to test an actual page created by one of our customers, Webistry, a digital marketing agency. Their “Tiny Homes of Maine” page is a real-world example.

Click here to expand.

It has tons of custom functionality, so it’s fairly representative of what many customers do with the Unbounce builder. (The ability to customize is often why customers choose Unbounce in the first place!) This page includes custom Javascript for smooth scrolling, a sticky header, fading header, some custom CSS, and a bunch of images of various file types.

We tested two versions of “Tiny Homes of Maine” using Google PageSpeed Insights v.5, running a minimum of three tests using the median results. The results below focus on the mobile scores:

Speed Boost

First, we tested the original Tiny Homes of Maine landing page using Unbounce’s Speed Boost, which optimizes landing page delivery to do things like leverage browser caching, prioritize visible content to load first, bundle Javascript, and so on. Speed Boost handles the technical recommendations from PageSpeed Insights that developers usually tackle behind the scenes. You can see the overall results of the test here:

Tiny Homes of Maine with Speed Boost

Speed Boost + Auto Image Optimizer

Next, we retested the Tiny Homes of Maine adding our upcoming Auto Image Optimizer into the mix. This new tool automatically optimizes your images as your page is published. You can fine-tune your settings, but we used the defaults here. Check out the mobile results:

Tiny Homes of Maine with Speed Boost + Auto Image Optimizer

The score jumped from a respectable 88 to an incredible 96 and, more meaningfully, we saw time to interactive improve from 4.4 sec to 2.7 sec. That’s 12.3 seconds faster than the average mobile web page, and 0.3 seconds faster than Google’s ideal 3 second load time.

Here we’ve shared the time to interactive speeds from both tests, for desktop and mobile, measured against the average web page:

Time to Interactive is the best measure for whether a visitor will engage or bounce. Our average mobile speed is based on Google’s mobile benchmarks, while the desktop average comes from a study by SEO Chat.

Overall, when we tested, we saw Speed Boost and Auto Image Optimizer create a dramatic difference in performance without sacrificing visual appeal or complexity. We took a compelling page that converts well and upped the ante by serving it at blazing speeds. Whether on a mobile or desktop, the page loads in a way that significantly improves the visitor’s experience.

Speed Boost is already available to all our customers, and the Auto Image Optimizer is coming very soon. This means your own landing pages can start achieving speeds like the ones above right now. Read more about our page speed initiatives.

But hold up. What about AMP? You might already know about AMP (accelerated mobile) pages, which load almost instantly—like, less than half a second instantly. Not only do they lead to crazy engagement, but they eliminate waiting on even slow network connections. This makes your content accessible to everyone, including the 70% of global users still on 3G connections—or 70% of pedestrians on their phones while they wait at a crosswalk.

While AMP can be complicated to build, Unbounce’s drag-and-drop builder lets you create AMP in the same way you create all your landing pages. If you’d like to try it out for yourself, you can sign up for AMP beta which opens in January 2019.

For the speed test above, we decided to leave AMP out of it since AMP restricts some custom functionality and the page we used would’ve required a few design changes. It wouldn’t be apples to apples. But we’re pretty pumped to show you more of it in the next while.

Page Speed & Your Bottom Line

Seconds are one thing, but dollars are another. Google recognizes the direct impact that fast load times have on your bottom line, which is why they released the Impact Calculator in February 2018. This tool sheds more light on why providing accurate measurements is so important.

Let’s revisit our Tiny Homes landing page above as an example. Imagine this landing page gets 1,000 visitors a month, at a conversion rate of 3.5% (which is just slightly higher than the average Real Estate industry landing page in our Conversion Benchmark Report). If the conversion rate from lead to sale is 5%, and each conversion is worth an average of $54,000 (which is the mid-priced home on their landing page), then their average lead value is $2700.

Tiny Homes of Maine in the Impact Calculator

When we input those numbers into the Impact Calculator and improve their mobile page speed from 4.4 seconds to 2.8 seconds, as shown in the test above, the impact to revenue for this one page could be $52,580.

Heck yes, speed matters.

And if we forecast the near-instant speeds promised by Accelerated Mobile Pages (AMP), that page could see a potential annual revenue impact of more than $179,202 USD if it were to load in 1 second.

And that’s one landing page!

If you’ve been struggling with how to improve your page loading times, this latest version of PageSpeed Insights now gives you a much more meaningful picture of how you’re doing—and how to get faster.

You may not have considered speed a strategic priority, but when seconds can equate to tens of thousands of dollars, you need to. Try the Impact Calculator yourself or contact our sales team if you’d like to see what kind of revenue impact Unbounce landing pages can get you.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8217493 https://unbounce.com/landing-pages/time-to-retest-page-speed/