#hm. well. and maybe I'm extra maudlin because I forgot to eat dinner and maybe this specific issue has been evident for a while :/
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deeply unfortunate that there is no way of living except to be in certain ways forever defined by the places you have spent your life!!
#the general sadness and detestation for this town has once again hit me like a fucking freight train#what a horrendous location. gilded birdcage set in amid beautiful and interesting and much less empty-hearted places.#but also I do live here and have lived here always and there's really nowhere else that I can claim to have lived. which. uh. kinda sucks.#funny the way you can beg for connection while at the same time remain convinced that you are not allowed at places because of This#hm. well. and maybe I'm extra maudlin because I forgot to eat dinner and maybe this specific issue has been evident for a while :/
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