#hm. i realize now the ''he'' in question is actually pretty ambiguous.
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semi-related to the previous post, I guess
#my art#dreamworks trolls#trolls fanart#trolls au#hm. i realize now the ''he'' in question is actually pretty ambiguous.#who is he referring to here? YOU decide.#trolls#the dream au
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destress // jd x stressed!reader
jd helps you destress from studying for midtermsÂ
word count: 1,700Â
tw: language, smut, ambiguous gender but was written for a female!reader in mind
requests & questions
Note: Hello! Iâm a new writing blog! I am an aspiring writer and thought it would be fun to get in some practice by writing for some of my favorite fandoms. Iâve been wanting to write JD x Reader fics for a while so Iâm happy to finally be doing that. Please feel free to send in requests! This is my first-time writing smut so be gentle with me (even if JD isnât being gentle with you). -Ellie
âShit, did a fucking tornado hit your room?â
You didnât acknowledge the intruder that entered through your bedroom window. You didnât have the time to. With multiple midterms coming up that you werenât the least bit prepared for, every second from now until then was precious.
âNot even a hello, darling?â
You could tell that a brow of his was quirked, teasing. He very well knew that midterms were next week. Though, compared to you, he couldnât give less of a shit. How you wish you could do the same.
âJD, not now.â You warned.
He stood, appraising your midterm wrecked room quietly. Notes, textbooks, and wrappers galore decorated various surfaces, from the floor to the bed to your vanity.
He walked, watching each step as he made his way towards you. You were hunched over your desk, nose deep in one of your textbooks. Your highlighter was tapping against the wood of your desk, keeping time with the anxious bounce of your leg.
He was behind you in the next moment, resting his head against yours. He placed his hands on your thighs firmly, slowing your movements. You took a deep breath, setting your book down. Your head titled up, moving his head from yours in order to meet his gaze.
A slight smile tugged at the corner of your lips upon seeing him. God, he was such a better sight than statistics.
âHello.â You murmured.
He matched your smile, dropping his volume to yours. âSee? Now was that so hard?â He pressed his lips against your forehead. âHello, darling. How are you? Did you miss me?â
You rested your head back against him. Your eyes fluttered closed, enjoying the warmth of his body. âNo. Not even a little bit. Statistics has been the best company.â
âOh, really? Iâm going to wager that stats is fucking you pretty hard.â You could hear the smirk in his voice.
âMaybe even harder than you.â
âAre you challenging me? You know I always win.â
You took a deep breath. The slight smile gone from your face and replaced with a deep frown. Your eyebrows pulled together, your face scrunching to meet the stress headache growing.
âJD, you know on any other day I would want you to win. I canât.â
âCome on, give me just an hour.â
âBullshit.â You were quick to reply. Your eyes flew open to stare up at him. âLike weâve ever gone just an hour. You keep me for multiple hours which I donât have. Iâm already losing sleep as it is. I promise you can keep me up some other night but tonight-â
He stepped back, grabbing the back of your chair, and spinning you to face him. âDarling,â he drawled slowly. âYouâre losing it.â
You blinked once, your gaze falling into your lap as you processed his words. Your hands met your head, elbows resting on your knees as you curled up into yourself. âI know.â You spoke into your hands. âGod, JD, Iâm so fucking stressed. I have so many midterms to study for without enough hours in the day. I canât fail these. Theyâre worth so much of my grade. It will ruin my GPA if I get anything less than-â
âSh, shâŚâ he crouched, leveling himself with you. âHow about we round up your teachers in an abandoned building and blow it up, hm? Would that make this all better?â
You would have laughed if you didnât know that he was completely serious. This boy would do anything for you. Heâs proved that time and time again. âGetting rid of the teachers wouldnât get rid of the classes themselves. Iâd still have to take the midterms eventually.â
âYouâd at least get more time.â
âTrue.â You agreed. Another deep breath and you lifted your head from your hands. âI think it would just be easier for me to study. It would take time and planning to pull it off and anyway, do you want to go through a whole grieve fest at school?â
âIt would make for an interesting week.â
âYou arenât funny.â
âNo, Iâm hilarious.â He took your hands in his, pulling you up from your seat. âFine, no offing the teachers, but you know the more that you try to cram all that shit in your head, the more it will spill out. Breaks are healthy, recommended even.â
A finger under your chin, a thumb resting below your lip, he brought his face closer to yours. He was close, too close. You smelled his last cigarette and a cherry slushie lingering in his breath.
âLet me help you destress.â He ghosted the words over your lips. How could you ever think that you could deny him? How could you ever think that he wouldnât get his way?
All it took was a quiet please and his hands were everywhere.
With one swift movement, JD knocked the contents of your desk onto the floor. With another, you were sitting on top of it, legs wrapped tightly around his waist. He caught your lips with his, too slow, too gentle.
You didnât have the patience for his teasing.
You intertwined your fingers in his hair, tugging him closer. You pressed your lips harder against his, showing him your eagerness to have him, just as he wanted.
You could feel him smirk against your lips, his hands moving to undress you from the waist down.
âWell, would you look at that? For someone who didnât want to even acknowledge me, you sure are eager to have me inside of you.â
You bit back a moan, his words touching you before he even laid a hand between your legs.
Fucking asshole and his way with dirty talk.
âJason Dean, youâre a pain in my ass.â You replied breathlessly.
A low chuckle followed as you dragged your lips across his jawline in a sporadic series of kisses. You bucked your hips up towards him, a sign for him to hurry the hell up and take you already.
You would have been surprised if he actually took the sign instead of ignoring it and taking another direction.
âNu uh, darling. I canât shove my cock in you and fuck you into the desk until the wood chips just yet. With how stressed you are over midterms, Iâm not sure if you can handle it. So let me loosen you up first, hm?â
He didnât wait to slip a finger inside of you, then two, and then three. You leaned back along the desk, your elbows barely keeping you up and steady. He set a rhythm, relishing the sounds that you made for him and him alone. Whimpers, gasps, and moans alike were all tangled with his name.
He felt you were getting close. He could always tell, sometimes before you even knew. You never quite knew how close you were to falling off the edge until he was pulling away from you, leaving you empty and longing for him to fill you again.
Just like he liked it.
âJD,â you breathed shakily. You didnât realize that your elbows had failed you early on and you were lying completely flat against the desk. You shifted your weight, lifting yourself back up and onto your elbows once more. Your eyes narrowed when you caught his gaze.
âWhat? Did you not want to cum on my cock after all?â He asked innocently, a contrast to the words that came from his mouth.
âGod, I could kill you.â
âThere can be only one killer in this relationship, darling.â He drawled, undoing his jeans. He was hard and so ready to fuck you until you couldnât remember the population versus the sample. He hesitated, almost expecting another retort, another âyouâre not funnyâ, but no. You werenât going to drag this out any longer. You wanted him now.
You needed him now.
âJD, please. For the love of god, fuck me.â
He didnât even have to ask for a please. He knew that meant there was nothing else in your head but wanting him to fuck you.
Would there ever come a time that he wouldnât get exactly what he wanted?
âOnly because you asked so nicely.â It only took a single beat, a single thrust before he was inside of you completely, barely giving you a chance to adjust to him. You let yourself fall back onto the desk, crying out his name.
The rhythm he set was faster, rougher. His fingers curled over your shoulders. His hands pushed you down as his hips pushed you up. Every thrust was met with force. He never let you move. He did the moving for you. He was in full control, using your body for his pleasure which just so happened to cause you pleasure.
A perfect match, thatâs what he said, and you believed it. He knew exactly where to hit the tip of his cock to make you-
âJD, Iâm getting-â
âMmm, I can feel that. I didnât think you could get any tighter.â
âJD-â
His lips caught the rest of your whine. His movements were sloppier now, his hands messily tangling themselves in your hair. He was close too.
As he pulled back ever so slightly, he uttered three words. âCum for me.â
With that, you came undone and he followed closely behind. Screams and moans of ecstasy were muffled against one anotherâs lips. It took a few moments for the both of you to catch your breath. He waited until your breathing steadied to pull out.
He pressed his lips against your forehead. âThere. That should get you through stats.â
You laughed. âIt should, but is it going to get me through French?â
âFinish studying for stats and weâll cross that bridge when we get there. Letâs get you cleaned up and while you finish studying, Iâll go get you some real food. No more of this granola shit.â
He began walking towards the bathroom but stopped halfway across your room. He didnât turn to look at you when he said:
âYouâre one of the smartest people I know. I know itâs not much coming from a town full of slaves and blanks but if thereâs anyone who can pass these midterms itâs you.â
He continued walking.
#jd#jason dean#heathers#jd heathers#jason dean heathers#jd fanfic#jason dean fanfic#heathers fanfic#jd x reader#jason dean x reader#heathers jd#heathers jason dean
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The Marriage Project (8)
Hello, hello, hello! Hereâs chapter 8 after a long break since chapter 7! If you havenât all ready, make sure you go check out the prologue to Sweet Home Alabama once youâre done here, as I may post the first chap very soon!
Story Masterlist
Word Count:Â 2178
Warnings: Some language? I canât think of anything else
% approximately the 3rd week of October %
You hadnât really told anyone what youâd been doing Sunday, and especially left out the part where you were with Tom.
Once getting home the previous night, youâd quickly taken off your makeup and brushed your teeth before essentially passing out on your bed. Youâd also snoozed your alarm enough times that youâd had to rush to school that morning, getting to class with only a minute to spare.
In the afternoon, your friends sat around a lunch table discussing how your weekends had gone.
âMine was pretty boring. How about yours, y/n?â Caroline asked.
âIt was fine. Mostly did homework. Oh, and I took some senior pictures yesterday, but thatâs it.â
âOh thatâs why your hair is straight?â someone else asked.
âYeah, I got home late and woke up late so I just tossed on some jeans this morning.â
âWhere even were you? Your snap maps said you were at the lake,â Alexis stated.Â
To say that question made you nervous was an understatement. You didnât want to give anything away so you tried to keep it vague.
âOh, yeah. The photographer knew of a place out there we could go so I said yes.â
âWho was your photographer? Iâve been looking to get pictures done,â Caroline said.
Well, there goes ambiguity.
âHah, well, Nikki Holland.â
âIsnât that Tomâs mom?â Alexis asked, squinting at you. You sighed.
âYes. Iâve been at their house a lot for the project and her whole career is photography so she asked me if I wanted her to do my pictures for free. I couldnât turn that down.
âSo thatâs why you and Tom were at the same location yesterday!â Alexis exclaimed.
âWhat! Keep your voice down!â
âSo itâs true? You and Tom took your senior pictures together? I was waiting until youâd admit why you were together.â
âOkay there are so many things I need to address but firstly, we did not take them together, we just did them at the same time. And secondly, since when do you have Tom on snap?â
Alexis rubbed the back of her neck and looked away. Everyone else looked surprised and kept quiet.
âRemember sophomore year when I went to that party while you were out of town? And I told you I made out with someone? WellâŚ.â
âALEXIS!â
âI was drunk, okay? By the next day I realized how gross it was, but I kept him on snap so I could keep tabs for when we talked trash about him.â
You folded your arms across your chest and stared blankly across the table at your best friend.
âAnd you just didnât think to tell me that you, I donât know, made out with my mortal enemy and have had him on snap for the past 2 years?â
âI thought youâd be mad at me! Obviously it was the one time, and weâve never sent each other a single snap. This was about you anyways and how you and Tom spent yesterday together. Where were you, actually?â Alexis asked, looking at you expectantly. You rolled your eyes.
âHis grandparents have a lake house, okay? His mom planned the whole thing and the leaves were pretty colors, so it was whatever.â
âHm, I guess soâŚâ Alexis trailed, giving you one final look of âthis conversation isnât overâ before someone brought up a different topic.
%
With volleyball regionals that upcoming weekend and Tom having an away game, you and he decided to work together that Thursday at his place.
You quickly rinsed off after practice and headed over to his house where he was waiting at the door.Â
âTook you awhile,â he commented as you came up the sidewalk.
âYeah, sorry. I got caught talking to coach about this weekend. It also takes forever to get these leggings on right out of the shower,â you joked, gesturing down at your athletic pants.
You got to work pretty quickly as there was a lot to do as compared to normal. By the time you finished, it was almost dinnertime.
âOh, I think my mom finished all those pictures if you want them. Letâs go find her,â Tom suggested, leading you downstairs.
Her and Dom were in the kitchen cooking together. It was sweet watching them interact.
âHey, mom? Did you say you had that flash drive done?â Tom interrupted, causing both parents to turn.
âYes! Iâm glad you reminded me. Dom, hold down the fort while I go get that.â
She led you to her office, then dug around her desk until she found it, handing it to you.
âYou know, dinner will be ready in probably 10 minutes. Youâre free to eat with us tonight,â she offered.
âAre you sure? I wouldnât want to impose.â
âYou never impose on us! And absolutely, we always make more than enough food so the boys can take leftovers to school.â
Well if youâre sure⌠Iâll text my mom and make sure she doesnât mind.â
She didnât, so as you waited for dinner, you sat down on a living room couch, Tom taking a recliner nearby. From the corner of your eye you saw Paddy walk in the room and freeze when he saw you.
âY/n! Lovely to see you on this fine evening,â he greeted, sitting tentatively on the other end of the couch. You held back a chuckle at his word choice.
âAnd you as well, sir. How was your day?â you asked, trying to get him out of his shell.Â
His eyes widened as he told you all about his school day. You prepared to reply when Dom came and announced the food was done.
You followed everyone to the dining room and stood watching, not wanting to accidentally take someoneâs seat.
âOh, you can sit here, y/n,â Paddy said, pulling out a seat for you in the middle of the table. You glanced to Tom, who was rolling his eyes.
âThanks, Paddy. What a gentleman you are,â you complimented as he helped tuck in your chair. He took the seat on the left of you as Tom sat on your right. Directly across from you were Sam, then Harry and Dom on either side. Nikki took the head.
âY/n, why donât you get what you want first,â Nikki suggested, gesturing over the food. There was spaghetti, salad, and bread. You got only a little bit of each thing, trying to be polite.
âThatâs all you want? Iâm pretty sure Iâve seen you eat more on the bus to soccer games than that,â Tom commented. You raised your eyebrows at him and nudged his knee with yours.
âThomas! Donât be rude! Y/n, youâre free to however much or little youâd like. You can always go back for more later, too.â
Dinner went relatively smoothly aside from that, most of the conversation being centered on you as different family members wanted to know different things (Paddy especially as heâd trained his eyes on you almost the entire evening). For the most part, Tom was quiet except to crack a few jokes or answer something you asked him.
As everyone was finishing their meals, you offered to help clean up.
âOh, no, donât worry. Itâs Tomâs job to do the dishes tonight,â Dom told you.
âI donât mind helping him. I can dry if nothing else.â
After being reminded a few times that you shouldn't feel the need to, you went with Tom to the kitchen anyways, holding a towel.Â
âYou really donât have to help me, you know. Youâre technically our guest,â he said as the sink filled with water.
âSeriously, I donât mind. I have nothing better to do anyways since I finished my homework.â
You worked together pretty much silently, falling into a comfortable rhythm. As you set down the last plate, Tom spoke up.
âHey y/n, think fast.â
âWha- TOM!â you exclaimed, as he had shot water at you, making the front of your shirt wet. âOh you are so dead for that!âÂ
You jumped on his back, pressing your wet shirt against him, causing his own shirt to dampen. He thrashed around, the both of you laughing.
âWhat the hell is going on in- oh,â said Sam, who entered the room.Â
You both froze in place, you quickly sliding off Tom as Sam looked at you skeptically.
âYour brother just sprayed me with the faucet, so I was getting back at him,â you tried to convince him. It is what happened after all.
âRight... I was just coming to grab something from the drawer, so Iâll leave you all to it,â he said awkwardly as he dug around the drawer and quickly made his leave.Â
You and Tom both looked at each other awkwardly before bursting into laughter.
âYou know youâre lucky this is a dark shirt,â you said after a moment.
âAm I though?â
âTOM!â
%
When you got home a little bit later, you decided to plug in your flash drive and look at all the pictures Nikki had taken. You were marveling at her work when your phone started buzzing. It was Alexis.
âHey, whatâs up?â you picked up, confused as to why sheâd call on a Thursday night.
âHey. I saw that you were home so I figured I was good to call. Are you alone?â
âYes, and why do you need me alone?â
She paused.
âLook, y/n, Iâm sorry for bringing that stuff up about Tom in front of the girls Monday, but, since I donât know when Iâll be able to get you alone again, I need to ask you something.â
âOkay what is going on?â Youâre scaring me a little.â
âI hate to be the one to ask this, because I know you and we came up with that whole revenge thing at the beginning of the semester but⌠do you⌠have feelings for Tom?â
You were taken aback at her question.
âWhat! Me have feelings for Tom? Are you crazy?â
She sighed.
âWell itâs just that, you two are always together now, your usual bickering has turned into normal banter, and you literally traveled to take pictures with him last weekend. It just seems like something else is there, and the whole school is starting to pick up on it.â
Ironically, you had frozen on a picture of you and Tom from Sunday, one of you standing in your sports uniforms back to back.
âOkay so maybe weâre kind of friends now, but that doesnât mean I like him! And how many times do I have to say that the pictures were just at the same time?â
âThen explain to me why his momâs website has multiple pictures of you two together?â
Your blood ran cold and stomach dropped.
âWait, what?â you breathed, immediately going to pull up her page. Like Alexis said, a picture of the two of you posing was at the top of the home page. It was the same one youâd been looking at before. âOh, no,â you whispered.
âAre you seeing it?â she asked.
You gulped.
âYep. But, itâs not that bad, right? I mean she takes tons of sports pictures and we look super serious. Itâs not like weâre standing with our arms wrapped around each other or anything.â you rationalized, half joking at the end of your sentence.
âYou might want to scroll down, thenâŚâ
You went past a photo of just you on the dock railing in your jumpsuit to find one of Tom lifting you over his shoulder, but of you laughing.
âYouâve got to be kidding me,â you muttered.
âAre you sure youâve got nothing to tell me? Iâve had lots of guy friends and most of them don't do that to me.â
âYes, Alexis, Iâm sure. He was getting back at me for something and acted like he was gonna throw me in the lake. I didnât realize Nikki took any pictures of it. Iâll ask Tom about it.â
âIf you say so⌠Iâll believe you. But you do know you can tell me anything, right?â
âOf course I do, and Iâm telling you right now that nothing has happened or will ever happen. Weâre just friends, okay? Now Iâve got to go. See you tomorrow?â you finished.
âOkay, see you tomorrow,â she signed off, ending the call.
You felt another pit in your stomach thinking about how youâd lied to her. You definitely didnât have feelings, but why didnât you tell Alexis about that moment youâd had in his room a couple weeks back, or how you'd fallen asleep on his shoulder Sunday night, or even how youâd accidentally seen him naked?
Because sheâd think thereâs something there.
But there isnât.
But..?
You shook the thoughts away as you texted Tom, asking him to take a glance at his momâs website.
âOmg I have no idea why she used the third picture. Iâll see if sheâll change itâ he answered.Â
You were glad he would save your asses like that, but felt a twinge of sadness for it to be replaced. You almost didnât mind it being there.
%
A/N: another long awaited marriage project! I have been working so hard to get this out while going through rewrites and working on sweet home alabama, but hopefully this will hold yâall over for now. As always, thank you so much and feel free to hit up my asks any time!
Send a message or ask if youâd like to be added to my permanent or series taglists so I can verify youâve been added!
Story tag list: @jackiehollanderr, @one-big-fangirl, @l0lmk, @primadonnasdream, @bookworm06, @thenoddingbunny-blog, @agentnataliahofferson, @spider-babe, @stxfxniexreads,Â
#The Marriage Project#tom holland#tom holland imagine#tom holland fanfiction#tom holland story#tom holland series#tom holland au#tom holland fanfic#tom holland fic#tom holland x reader#tom holland x you#tom holland x y/n
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confession time: for someone who (semi) actively runs a movie blog, i really havenât seen a lot of classic movies.
(i know this comes as a shock for those of yâall who have been subjected to nothing but my half-baked thoughtpieces on bad 80â˛s horror for the past couple of years, but bear with me.)Â
to be honest, even this review doesnât REALLY represent me making an active choice to remedy that so much as it does me pulling a long con where i endear myself to marilyn monroe by watching her movies to get myself excited to watch the miniseries blonde (2001), for abnormally pretty, young jensen ackles purposes*, but letâs not dwell on all that. the practical result is the same; i watched some like it hot (1959). now, i hope yâall are ready for a few some like it Thoughtsâ˘:
first, idk how much attention yâall have been paying to the loose bits of personal lore i occasionally scatter within my reviews, but one thing about myself that i feel iâve been pretty open about is the fact that iâm trans. this being so, and knowing not a whole lot about the movie beyond the very basic premise â1959 extended man in a dress gag,â i canât say i went in with the highest of expectations. imagine my surprise, then, when the gender aspect of this movie was... actually pretty good? i mean, full disclosure, itâs not exactly gender studies, but itâs passable! itâs tolerable! there were even a few moments where i felt inclined to say the words âoh, GENDER?â out loud!
perhaps most impressively, iâd say the Cis Creator Cringe Factor of some like it hot was actually impressively LOWER than a lot of modern moves with genderswapping premises tend to be. like, i know that one definite explanation for that would be the fact that trans experiences are more widespread today, so modern filmmakers donât feel comfortable playing with ideas like this without at least giving lipservice to them, while the era that bore some like it hot didnât face the same âpressure,â but, okay. listen. compared to another movie i watched recently--freaky (2020), in which a teenage girl swaps bodies with serial killer vince vaugn, featuring one incredibly anvilicious scene where, upon being informed by a gay boy that sheâs in the menâs bathroom, the girlâs best friend retorts, âshe [vince vaugn]âs got a dick in her hand, and youâre wearing chanel no. 5. i think weâre past labels.â--some like it hot, a movie older than my father, was wayyyy easier to watch**. actually, you know what? yeah. listen to me. cis content creators? movie producers? iâm talking to you. DONâT EVEN BRING GENDER (or gender âidentitiesâ... which is an incredibly gross term, anyway) UP IF YOUâRE NOT PLANNING TO DO SOMETHING WITH IT. sincerely, this particular bad taste corner of the trans community :).
...anyway.
some like it hot, by contrast, did it right. YES, the premise of the movie was two presumably cis men in disguise as women. iâll put that in the open. however, there was a certain... i donât know if ârespectâ is the right word, but there was an avoidance, at least, of the usual predatory tropes. in fact, the worst behavior by far from either main character comes when joe manages to take off his female disguise, donning another, male persona and using things that sugar (marilynâs character) confided in âjosephineâ to create a nonthreatening, desirable âmillionaireâ in order to trick her into sex. okay, like i said, itâs not gender studies, but, the humor in some like it hot comes from generally the right place. joe and jerry don their female disguises in a matter that in quite literally life and death for them (and itâs more than the creators ever thought of, iâm sure, but there IS an interesting analysis to be had of them needing to pass to live), which to a degree removes the usual pitfalls of male to female crossdressing as a gag; theyâre neither doing it for lecherous reasons, nor to parody the female experience. this being a comedy, there is a degree of humor found in the situation, but itâs directed at jerry and joe, the characters, more than their disguises. the general assumption is that they both pass without question, as long as theyâre wearing their ladiesâ clothes; jerry once comments that heâs ânot even pretty,â but itâs never an issue to contend with.Â
wrt the crossdressing, the worst moment for me, personally, was a scene on the train when jerry prepared to take off the disguise in order to sleep with sugar, and even this ends up comedically averted at jerryâs expense.
and speaking of jerry.
jerry is actually the most compelling part of the movie for me, especially viewing it through the lens of gender. while joe, who gets the girl and manages to spend large chunks of the latter part of the film in his second, male disguise, never thinks too much about what theyâre doing beyond the survival aspect of it, jerry is the one who, erm, âgets into character.â joeâs female name is simply josephine; before they get on the train with the woman musicians, itâs assumed that jerry will be going by âgeraldine.â however, when they give their introductions, the duo becomes josephine... and daphne.Â
as the movie progresses, this distinction grows more pronounced; when joe has to remind a smitten jerry on the train that heâs a girl, referring to their disguises, jerry miserably repeats the affirmation: âiâm a girl. iâm a girl. i want to die. iâm a girl.â later on, however, as joeâs relationship with sugar develops, âdaphneâ becomes acquainted with local horndog millionaire osgood, who he at first dislikes, but comes around to after being forced on a date as part of joeâs plan to trick sugar. after seeing jerry excited by the prospect of marrying osgood, a bewildered joe has to remind jerry why itâs an impossibility, and in the same miserable tone as before, jerry/daphne muddles through a new affirmation, one that definitely didnât ring false to my trans ears: âiâm a boy. iâm a boy. i want to die. iâm a boy.âÂ
hm. actually, now iâm thinking about a trans male reading of joe. he was the one at first resistant to taking the job (with the all-female band), when they only needed money, and not a place to hide from an upset mob boss, but also the one who seems to know more about the role when it comes time to get into character. while jerrydaphne gets increasingly comfortable with femininity as time passes, joe never performs it in anything but a perfunctory, necessary way, and sloughs the costume EVEN WHEN the danger of being found out has not yet passed, because pretending for such a long period of time is just untenable. something about passing for female being a safe haven and a burden for both closeted (re-closeted, in this case) trans men and out trans women?
anyway. by the end, though both osgood and sugar do find out the truth about the disguises, sugar seems to instantly forgive joe for his treacherousness (again, referring more to his actions as the shell millionaire than his escapade in drag), while osgood appears unbothered by daphneâs truth, leading to an ambiguous ending for the futures of the characters, and any realizations that might come later.
no, itâs not the âreal transgender experience.â it (thankfully) never claims to be. BUT, being trans myself, there were some moments that made me feel linked to our protagonists, and relatively few, if any, that made me feel alienated. all in all, thatâs a lot more than i hoped for going in, so thatâs what iâm happy with.
watch some like it hot, yâall. itâs a good movie in a timeless way, and, as modern movies appealing to short-lived trends that will feel outdated next week (if not by the very time of their release) will show you, thatâs more than it needed to be.Â
*since my original draft of this post, i DID watch blonde, and i donât know if thatâs technically fair game for this blog (not exactly a movie) or what, but 6/10. fairly well done piece of art but just BEATINGLY tragic, so proceed with caution. jensen ackles literally is THAT PRETTY though, so the jackles cut i give a strong 11/10. i am a homosexual.  **i would like to clarify that this isnât me telling you not to watch freaky. yes, some of the dialogue is tragically riverdaleian, but thereâs also a scene where vince vaugn makes out with a teenage boy. so,
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The True Commitment
Bodyguard!Jeno x (Gender Ambiguous) Lawyer!Reader ft. Lawyer!Taeyong
Requested by @mirohhhuuuuâ
Summary: As a lawyer specializing in werewolf-human affairs, you run the high risk of attacks from those whose cases didnât work out properly. Youâve had multiple bodyguards injured before, but this new bodyguard deals with the idea of werewolf attacks suspiciously well. Whatâs his secret?
Word Count: ~2.2K
Warnings: Werewolf AU, mentions of death and trauma, violence, betrayal, lying
"What are you going to do now? That's the fourth guard to get injured this month. Nobody will want to work for you anymore, Y/N." Your partner, Taeyong, asks, worried for your safety.
"Believe it or not, there's a resume that came in earlier today. At least one person still wants to be my bodyguard."
"Yeah, until they get injured, too. They'll quit, just like the others. Why can't you go back to non-violent cases? It's only been a month, but you've been threatened and attacked so much already."
You roll your eyes at Taeyong, not wanting to explain for the hundredth time that solving violent crimes has been your dream since the incident with your brother. You were only 12 years old then, but you knew that the person they convicted in the case was wrong. You've felt wronged all these years, insisting that you'd find his killer to truly bring him peace. Taeyong's heard the story plenty of times; he knows why you refuse to stick to non-violent cases, but he can't help but worry that your obsession with your brother's killer will end with your injury.
As the two of you part ways, you breathe out and pull out your headphones, deciding to blast music to get rid of your thoughts for the small remainder of the walk home. As you walk up the stairs of your building, you notice something unusual about the second flight, seeing them stained by a black liquid. Taking no chances, you decide to call the elevator to take you up the remaining way to the fourth floor. When the doors open to your floor, a man stands there, waiting for you. This wasn't someone from any violent case. You truly don't recognize this man, but he definitely recognizes you, diving for you the moment the doors fully open. Luckily, you've trained your reflexes enough to dodge him and hit the "door close" button on the elevator before rushing out and down the hall.
Quickly, you unlock the door and slam it behind you as you enter your apartment. You lock the three locks you have and lean against the door, wondering who the man was. It's possible he was a friend or family member of someone you put in jail, but, usually, they don't get that violent. With a shake of your head, you throw the thought away. Instead, you dig the new resume out of your bag and sit down to look it over.
"Hm... Seems promising. He's young, too, so he should be pretty fast. I usually wouldn't hire teens, but I don't have much of a choice."
You dial the number on the resume, reaching voicemail. You leave him a message, asking him when he can start work. Then, you throw yourself onto your bed, exhausted.
"Don't worry, Jaejoong. Slowly, but surely, I'll give you your peace."
With that, you drift off to sleep, woken up in the morning to banging on your front door. Grabbing your phone to check the time, you're blinded by the bright pop-up, indicating that you have 14 missed calls from Taeyong, despite it only being 7 AM.
"Ugh... What on earth?" You roll out of bed, too tired to make yourself presentable. Opening the door, you're greeted by Taeyong screaming at you.
"Why can't you wake up early like the rest of us? I've been trying to call you! The office is trashed! Whoever it was probably destroyed evidence in the case we're close to closing!"
Still too tired to deal with it, you shrug it off and head back to your bed. Taeyong follows you, giving you a run-down of everything that's happened. While you ignore most of it, one part catches your attention, "Wait, say that again."
"Some kid came by, asking for you. Said you called him last night about working."
"He went to the office? Damn it, kid. You should've just called me back." You scramble to get your phone, dialing the number again, ignoring your partner's rant about hiring a child.
You finish the call and rush to get ready. Taeyong, who accepted being ignored, lays on your bed while scrolling through his social media feed, unfazed by your sudden energy spike. Once you're ready, you announce it to your partner, who simply follows you out the door.
When you both arrive at the office, a young man with innocent brown eyes waits for you at the entrance.
"Jeno, right? I'm Y/N and this is my friend, Taeyong. We usually work together on cases, but you'll be working under me. I work with violent and non-violent cases that involve werewolves. Do you think you can handle guarding me, even if werewolves come and attack?"
Without batting an eye, the boy calmly insists that he believes he can, "Trust me. I'll do better than any other guard you've hired."
"What makes you so sure?" You hear Taeyong chuckle at your question, so you turn your attention to him.
"I'm sure he has his reasons. Let's just let him prove it."
It's strange for Taeyong to trust someone so quickly, so you take his word on it and hire Jeno on the spot. Then, all three of you make your way upstairs to examine the destroyed office. Taeyong explains that he arrived this morning to the office door broken down and the inside completely trashed. He asked for the security tapes but found nothing unusual on them, so he insists that someone hacked the system.
During Taeyong's long explanation, Jeno walks away and takes a look at the nearest camera.
"Liar." He starts, gaining everyone's attention. "How can you check them when they were turned off yesterday?"
You look to the evidence and see that Jeno is telling the truth. The camera is off, with the last recorded time shortly after you and Taeyong left last night.
"Alright, so maybe I didn't check them. I kinda rushed over to check on you, concerned that you might've been attacked at home."
Even though you consider Taeyong one of your most trusted friends, you begin to doubt him, "So, why lie about it, then? Why not just say that so we can check the tapes together?"
Taeyong stumbles over his words, trying to explain how he wanted to sound more productive than he truly was. Although you tell him he's forgiven for the slip-up, you keep in mind that he was the first one to see the destruction. As much as you don't want to suspect your friend, you know that you need to think logically and consider all suspects. Jeno also clearly suspects him, always making sure he's in between you and Taeyong, keeping his eye on him no matter what.
After you clean up the disaster in your office, you only find one thing missing: the file on your brother's case. You're infuriated at this, as it makes it even more likely that Taeyong had some involvement in this. However, still not wanting to suspect him too much, you choose not to confront him until finding more evidence against him.
While the day started in chaos, the workday drags on. You and Taeyong discuss the case you're working on for the weekend while Jeno sits nearby, hyperfocused on your partner.
Once the workday ends, you find yourself walking home with Jeno instead of Taeyong, who went home about a half-hour earlier.
"Jeno, you suspect him, too, right?"
"There's no good reason to lie about checking the tapes, so yes. I'll be keeping an eye on him, even if you call him your friend."
"Good idea. It wasn't just the security camera that bugs me. He said the intruder destroyed evidence that was still there. The only thing missing was a folder of a personal case of mine. He's disliked my interest in the case for years."
He agrees that it's very suspicious, but before you can continue the conversation any further, a man jumps out in front of you, knife aimed directly at you. Quickly, Jeno brings you behind him. The man still directs his threats at you, telling you to drop the Jaejoong case. You freeze for a second, eyes wide, but anger boils inside.
"Why should I drop it, huh? What's that to you?!" The rage erupts when you recognize him, "You're the guy who attacked me last night! What the hell did I do to you?! Are you the one who actually killed him?! What do you know?!"
At this point, Jeno has to not only protect you from the assailant but also hold you back from attacking the stranger at the same time. He struggles to stay between the two of you, and the stranger only makes it worse by taunting you.
"So what if I killed him, huh? What are you gonna do? What if I came back for his little sibling? Maybe I should've killed you both back then." He jokes with a smirk plastered on his face.Â
Although he's clearly faking it, you lunge yourself forward, blinded by your anger. Jeno manages to stop you just before the stranger jabs at you, getting cut in your place. Hearing his groan of pain snaps you back to reality, so you look to him to make sure he's okay. Rather than looking at you, he steadies himself before punching the guy in the chest. The stranger drops the knife as his hands fly to his chest, trying to regain the breath that the punch took from his lungs. Jeno kicks the knife back towards you, and you cover your hand to pick it up without leaving your fingerprints. When you look back to the two boys, Jeno has one of the assailant's hands pinned behind his back tightly.
"So, what do we do with him?"
Before you respond, you dial the police and explain the situation. After hanging up, you simply respond, "That."
The stranger starts laughing - a laugh fit for a psychopath - and slowly lifts his head towards you. His teeth showing clear, sharper than human teeth. Suddenly, you realize the danger. He wasn't just any man with a knife - no, this man is a werewolf. In a matter of mere seconds, your worry for Jeno grows stronger. He's still a teenager, with years to look forward to. He shouldn't be risking his life to protect -Â SMACK.
The noise brings you back to reality, and you make a mental note about zoning out too much. Looking over, you expect the worst. You fear that the wolf overpowered Jeno and ran, maybe taking a piece of your bodyguard with him. What you find, however, is the wolf's face against the floor, Jeno's hand holding him down with ease.
"You... can overpower a werewolf?" Your confusion shows.
"This lame excuse of anything more than a human isn't a wolf. Most of the people that get called werewolves are only dogs, nowadays." He calmly explains everything, "It's hard to tell the difference as a human, so everyone is blanketed under 'werewolf,' and we don't fight it."
"We? So, then... If you're more powerful than a, uh, a weredog? Does this mean you're a werewolf?"
"Oh, Taeyong didn't mention that?"
At that moment, the police show up, take the attacker to their car, and start asking you and Jeno questions about the incident. You explain what happened, hand over the man's weapon, and give them your card so they can call you if they need you again. Before they leave, they warn you both to be safe. You and Jeno finally continue your walk to your apartment after seeing the officers off.
"So, Taeyong knows?" You finally ask as you unlock the door to your apartment, gesturing for Jeno to come in after you.
"I assumed that's why he told you to hire me. He's a dog, y'know. He could feel it."
Your eyes grow wide. You and Taeyong worked together for years, yet he never told you anything. Slowly but surely, you feel like Taeyong isn't who you believed him to be at all.
"Y/N? Didn't you know that? I figured that's why the two of you were partners. That's usually how it works - a human and a hybrid usually work together on hybrid cases; the same goes for wolves, except that it can be a weredog or werewolf on the case because of the blurred lines."
"I had no clue. He never told me. Never even hinted at it. I think I'm gonna have to sleep on this thought. Did you want to stay? You're free to use the couch."
After the day's events, Jeno decides that it's best if he stays. After all, he has to protect you, even if it's from your closest friend. He promised his dad that he'd atone for his brother's mistakes. Even if you never figure out that he destroyed the office and stole your file. Even if he has to forever hide the fact that his brother killed yours. He'll protect you. From anything.
Especially since you're his mate. He's known since the day you met years ago. He'd never mistake your sweet scent for anyone else. No matter what, he'll keep his mate safe, even if his own brother comes back to hurt you.
#kpop scenarios#kpop imagines#kpop writing#nct scenarios#nct imagines#nct writing#nct jeno#nct taeyong#bodyguard au#kpop bodyguard#werewolf#werewolf au#werewolves#werewolf jeno#bodyguard jeno#werewolf taeyong#angst#kpop angst#jeno#lee jeno#lee taeyong#taeyong
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Pairing: Yeosang x reader (as Wooyoungâs sister) Word Count: 2372 Part: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4
He had agreed to meet you an hour before closing time of one of the restaurants he used to go to as a trainee. He knew the owners well and knew they would never spread rumours, especially not for personal gain. It was a place you could be at comfortably to talk about whatever was going on between you two. It was also entirely not a comfortable talk for you. You arrived at the restaurant separately. You thought you would have had a hard time finding the place, but as soon as you stepped off the underground, you realized you had been there before with your brother. Wooyoung had been a trainee at the time, together with Yeosang. It was your first time being alone in Seoul, having just moved there for school. It seemed like ages ago, but really was just two years. And in those two years, everything had changed. This restaurant represented good memories with Wooyoung to both you and Yeosang, so perhaps it was only fitting that you went there to talk about something Wooyoung could absolutely not know about. At least not right now, not in the stages it was at. Yeosang was later than you were and you were glad to have a few moments to gather yourself. Your hands were around a cup of tea and the woman working was in the half-open kitchen preparing your soup. You were one of the last customers, the only other ones being two boys dressed in workout gear. They might as well have been younger versions of Wooyoung and Yeosang. Your head shot up as the door opened to reveal Yeosang. He was wearing a big coat that he seemed to drown in and he wore a mask to both protect his identity and his health. He barely had to cast a look around the room to locate you and came up to you immediately, taking the seat across from you. âHey,â he said, suddenly all shy again as he took off his coat to reveal a big large sweater on his frame, as there usually was. Sweater paws again, his defining characteristic. âHi,â you said. âI already ordered soup for us.â âHm, with crispies?â âFunny you mention those. I should ask the kind lady if she serves marshmellow or jjajangmyeon crispies.â There was a full minute of silence in which you two just stared at each other. It was different being here with him outside of the dorms. It calmed your nerves a little bit to not have watchful Wooyoung looking over your shoulder and your boys, the other Ateez members, to be paying attention the entire time. It even helped your sudden, strange desire for Yeosang as you were not about to throw yourself at him in front of the two boys and/or the lady who ran the restaurant. She returned with the soup and took up Yeosangâs drink order. He only asked for water which she came to bring quickly before retreating to her spot. You could hear the unmistakable sounds of Mario Kart as she played on her phone. âSo,â you said after a while, not being able to take the silence between you two anymore, âwe need to establish some rules.â âRules?â Yeosang sounded genuinely surprised. âI mean, if weâre going to suck each otherâs face off everytime we see each other,â you said, shrugging. âPlease donât call it that,â he said, blush very visible on his face. âCall it what?â âSucking off each otherâs face,â Yeosang said, shuddering playfully. âIt sounds disgusting. Not that kissing you is disgusting! So thatâs why I think you shouldnât use that term. Anyway, what kind of rules do you mean?â âI mean that Wooyoung canât know about this until weâre sure what this is,â you gestured between yourselves. âYou know what he always says right?â âI would never let Y/N date any of my members,â you two said simultaneously, chuckling as you did. âYeah, okay, but would he really not let me date you?â Yeosang said. âSo you want to?â You couldnât help the childish butterflies that once more erupted in your stomach. You were in college for goodness sakes! You were supposed to be over the teenage-love phase, but you were quite clearly not. It was frustrating and liberating at the same time, as if youâve never really felt quite free enough to feel this way. âWould you let me?â âWhat is with you today?â you said, swiftly but without subtlety, avoiding his question. It was a question you werenât sure you could answer yet. âYou are not as... ambiguous. A lot shyer. Is it because weâre in public?â Yeosang shrugged. âItâs because you dressed up today.â You nearly stopped breathing. It was true that you had not put on sweatpants again, but you werenât really sure you would consider your outfit to be âdressing upâ. Yes, you wore a skirt, a sight nearly no one ever got to see because you considered skirts cold and for slightly more formal occassions. And yes, you were wearing lipgloss again, but just because it felt good to not have chapping lips and today it wasnât actually a shimmery one so it was not... dressed up. You were not dressed up. But yes, you had also been standing in front of your mirror, having changed out of seven different outfits, and deciding on this one because you thought it would give Yeosang something nice to look at. So yes, maybe you had dressed up today. And the outfit had the desired effect. âWhy does that make you shy?â âOh Y/N,â he said, buring his face in his hands. There was a split second in which you thought he was going to cry, but then he looked up at you. âWhat do I do? You donât understand me do you? All this time I tried not to talk to you too much, not to look at you too much. Because youâre Wooyoungâs sister and I could never do that to him, you know? Thatâs what I told myself. I could never just fancy his sister. But then you exist, you know? And youâre smart and funny and you get along with my friends so well. And youâre beautiful too, even when youâre in your sweats. You think Iâm shy, reserved... I could see you were surprised I even kissed you. Didnât think I had it in me to be so bold?â You werenât quite sure what to say because, quite frankly, you had thought of him like that. He was adorable in a way that made you want to carry him with you in his pocket, like a little guardian angel. But the night when you had asked him why he was always so distant from you, he had seemingly snapped. And now you were here. You werenât quite sure if you could say you really knew him. âDonât say anything,â Yeosang said, even though you hadnât been about to. âI know what you were thinking. I can probably guess what youâre thinking now. That I canât be serious about you, that I canât mean what I said about you letting me date you. That I just meant it as a joke or something. That I wouldnât ever ask you in that way because thatâs not me. I am shy. But Y/N, I am not. Or... yes, I am shy, but thatâs not what this is about. I like you and I have liked you in that way since I met you and I never talked to you really, as me, not because I was shy but because I was protecting myself.â âSo why throw all of that out of the window?â âBecause while I think that having Wooyoung hate me for loving you is pretty bad, I think having you thinking I donât like you... is the worst.â You gulped, your spoon stopping midway on its way to your mouth. You nearly actually dropped the spoon when you saw the sincere look in his eyes. âYou love me?â You nearly threw the spoon back into the soup pot. âYou actually love me?â âI do.â There was some genuine shyness in Yeosang now and you saw the difference immediately. Yes, he had been partially acting it up in front of the others. âI have to process that information,â you said, picking your spoon back up and shovelling the soup into your mouth. Yeosang just watched you eat, a closed off expression on his face. Meanwhile, you were sure every single passing emotion was visible on your face. The surprise, the fear, the love, the acceptance, the fear, the fear... After all, how well did you know Yeosang? How well did he know you? Of course there was a chance he had been paying a lot more attention to you than you had noticed, and perhaps Wooyoung had shared some anecdotes about you or things you got up to together. That could make Yeosang feel like he knew you. But was it enough for him to love you? You werenât sure what to say back as you werenât sure you felt the same way, not like that. When you finished the soup, you said: âSo how about my brother?â âWait.â âWhat?â âI want an answer first,â Yeosang said. âAn answer?â âYeah, you know, an answer?â he said. âWould you let me date you?â You reached over the table, not really caring if this was a public place or not and without letting yourself mull over how much skinship Yeosang liked and how much PDA was too much PDA for him. It all really didnât matter as you grabbed his hand in yours and compared hand sizes. âIâm trying not to hold your hand over here,â you said, locking eyes with Yeosang. It was a silent challenge, really, and he took it, intertwining your hands. âSo thatâs a yes?â âYes.â Yeosangâs smile made a smile break out on your face. Happy Yeo, happy me, you noted in your head. The bell above the door rang, signifying the other occupants of the restaurant leaving, and the woman who had prepared your soup appeared to clean up the plates. âWe should go,â Yeosang said, watching the woman enter the kitchen to get rid of the plates. âShe probably wants to start closing up.â You agreed with him and proceeded to get up, following his example. âI donât want to go home yet, though,â you told him. This moment, away from the dorms and your boys and away from the eye of the world constantly trained on Yeosang, it was easier to get to know him. And you wanted to, so desperately. It could give you a chance to explain away this weird desire you felt to have him close to you. âWe can take a walk by the Han river?â he offered and you nodded. It was not a long walk to get to the park on the riverside. Yeosang knew how to get there and since it was a short and easy walk, you trusted him enough without checking the Naver map navigation app on your phone more than once. Yeosang told you about his trainee days, both under BigHit and KQ. You listened as you heard stories youâve only ever heard from Wooyoungâs side before and noticed little details only as watchful a person as Yeosang would pick up on. You heard how his tone of voice changed as he spoke of the Ateez members, with deep appreciation and love. His voice was normally dipped in honey anyway, but hearing him so passionate about his profession, his voice so smooth and warm, made you feel excited to be so close to Yeosang. Closer than you had been with him before. As you arrived at the Han river, the topic of conversation had shifted to you. You told him about your new life in Seoul, but he preferred to hear stories about when you were younger. For example the time after Wooyoung left for the big city, to chase his big dreams, to become an independent, big boy. And you told him everything, holding no details back. There was just something about Yeosang that made you feel so comfortable. The Han river at night was beautiful. Or maybe that was just because Yeosang was next to you, a genuinely shy smile on his face, his adorable birth mark right on display. You knew it to be an insecurity of his and you also knew it to be one of your favourite parts about him. You also knew, from listening to Wooyoungâs behind-the-scenes stories on idol life, that a lot of idols liked to go down to the Han river with their secret dates. With that knowledge in the back of your mind, you felt comfortable enough to reach out and grab Yeosangâs hand as soon as you reached the waterside. The river was quite dirty and it smelled a little if you were going to be honest, but the lights of Seoul that reflected upon the surface of the water just about made this the perfect romantic spot. Yeosang just had to ruin it. âNow, about that brother of yours...â âOh, please, donât talk about him now. I just want to enjoy this moment with you.â âBut we have to talk about it. I canât go home in a few hours and look him straight in the eye knowing Iâve kissed you like that and he will want to kill me if he finds out.â âKissed me like what?â âLike this.â Yeosang pressed his lips against yours in a way he hadnât done before. The other kisses had had a slumbering hunger beneath them, while this one was so incredibly different. It was like the honey his voice felt and sounded like, melting together with whatever liquid you were made of. It was something, you knew, because your body almost gave in as Yeosang softly bit your lip. He smiled in the kiss, probably proud he could get your body to collapse like that by such a small gesture. When you pulled away, your heart was beating ever so fast. âOkay, I get what you mean now. Letâs talk about my brother.â
#kang yeosang#yeosang fluff#yeosang angst#yeosang fic#yeosang imagine#kang yeosang imagine#kang yeosang fluff#kang yeosang x reader#yeosang x reader#kang yeosang fic#ateez#ateez fluff#ateez angst#ateez fic#ateez x reader#kpop x reader#kpop#kpop fluff#kpop angst#kpop fic#kpop imagine#jung wooyoung#wooyoung#wooyoung imagine#wooyoung fluff#wooyoung angst#my writing#crispies
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Edenâs Zero Chapter 1 Review
Hey guys, now before I dive into this already longer than usual review, I did wanna take this time to mention something. Its been no secret that I turned on Mashima and FT pretty hardly after the end of FT and some of you may be aware that I was moderately active in the fanbase with putting out my reviews and such. That said some may liken that shift in mentality to me not liking how the story went and a common critique of fans is that when what theyâre fans of doesnât gel with what they want they wanna destroy it. As if the fan has ownership of the source of the fanaticism.
I admit there are times that Iâve question decisions on Hiro Mashimaâs end and has posted rewrites, but thatâs not me doing it out of a sense of ownership. Iâm doing it because I have a standard. Being a fan of something and letting your disappointment get to you and fester into salty, bitchy purest is one thing, but being a person whoâs judging what a series puts out and actually caring about the quality of whatâs in the popular media is important. FT got negative reviews in its latter half because it was that bad. By the end of the series it was legit that bad. Now I donât say that is someone who was in the fanbase and hated Hiroâs decisions cause they werenât mine, I hated them because it was bad writing. Iâm a reader with standards, as are all of you, and in the digestion of media we make distinctions between good and bad. I make this claim with more concrete surety now that Iâve been around longer and have reviewed more series than just FT, I think it be harder to believe if I made this case when I was just starting and all I was talking about at the time was FT.
Some of you might remember when I first started out on MHA, my second chapter I ever reviewed I had found it boring and mundane and to date its my least popular MHA review and I still stand by that assertion. I hold everything to the same standard, and that includes FT. The reason I write this is that while throughout this review I will mention comparisonâs to FTâs first chapter (and yes, even ways Edenâs Zero improved on it), but I will be holding it to the same standard. So this entire review wonât be me holding a grudge against Hiro, but it will be me holding it to the same standard as I do everything I read. That out of the way lets dive in.
We open on a hill side and met our MC named Shiki. Beside him is the mecha demon from the cover page and what they see is a... dragon. Yeah, Hiro I thought you wanted this to be wholely original?
On the hand I actually like this scene in the sense robo demon here is actually encourging actual adventure (something FT lacked) and its kinda amazing listening to this demon looking guy talking about friendship, yet on the other hand, damnit Hiro. Is this the only thing how to write about? Like damn man.
We cut to the future where we see our main female Lucy-I mean Rebecca! Yâknow I could make a Rebecca from One Piece joke, but sheâs kinda already a bit of a decisivee figure so Iâm not gonna bother.
I mean its okay. Its just castle theme park. Also Rebecca we find out is apparently a youtuber. Look if DBS can have GodTube then I can put up with Blue Cate (Aoneko) website. Also yeah Happy here, no sugar coating its just Happy. Also Rebecca here purposely made her skirt short. Just because you point out the sexualization in canon doesnât make it better, ya still drew it, Hiro.
We see that the theme park is full of robots and each one acts as an assist in sending the guest through some kind of medieval simulator. And if anyone has seen Westworld you know where this is heading. To be fair I love worldbuilding so please, explore!
So we find out Rebeccaâs dream is to have one million suscribers and now hereâs where I gotta give props to Hiro because he actual made a dream for a character that doesnât seem like it can be achieved a chapter from now. Granted this seems a bit hard to actually quantify, but this dream could potenially evolve into something of why she wants the suscribers and could be like Nami making the map of the world that getting video of unknown locations may actually be worth something to the general population.
We see that Rebecca chooses to go on a monster hunting quest and they encounter...
...This thing. Also it seems Rebeccaâs character quirk is she really likes cats I guess? But this doesnât last long as someone crashes down on mecha cat.
Okay that was kinda funny. I mean if this was FT wouldâve actually gotten the panty shot so maybe Hiro has learned his lesson! Also note that wrench!
Oh god damnit Hiro. So this tarzan guy after acting like an animal is knocked out by Rebecca. Yâknow it took about 60 chapters before Natsu got all up in Lucyâs chest, guess weâre cutting straight to the chase here.
Okay is joke with here just going be about here short skirt? Damning it with faint praise here, but at least he still hvenât flashed us them yet. Also Tarzan here is the only human on the island.
We get some scenes of Shiki here wanting to be friends with Rebecca cause sheâs a human and Rebecca isnât interested and she returns to the Granbell town where Shiki is there and the robots know who he is.
Shikiâs expressions and creepy advances really gives off this tinge of sci-fi horror, unfortunate Hiro doesnât really go that route and weâll get to it. Also that wizard looking robot from the color page is also here.
They then have a party where the robots all celebrate them having a costumer for the first time in so long they have a party being nice to Rebecca and lavishing her with stuff outside is robot that looks like Robin Hood and he reports to his boss this machine king.
Oh look, Hades if he was a robot.
We see Shiki trying to bond with Rebecca and it leads to him expressing he wants to leave the kingdom and see another country, but we also learn heâs in charge of fixing this and the robots are acting up lately. We find out that the one who was talking to Shiki and is his âGrandfatherâ was called the Demon King a robot designed for playing that role in the park.
Umm Rebecca... Thatâs being a dick. So you donât like it, so you decide to cut it, cause it bothers you. You couldâve framed it like, âIf he fixes you up then maybe he needs better visionâ or âHeâs been so nice to me, let me do something for him.â And what makes this worse s that Shiki is asleep, so she doesnât even consult his feelings. Like seriously, thatâs not being a good friend . But for contrivances sake Iâm sure Shiki will wake up and love it, wonât he?
Huh? I was wrong instead we got shitty 80s comedy. I donât know if thatâs better or worse.
Yâknow I said Iâd give Hiro atleast two free fanservice moments for his first 3 chapters. Heâs now used all of them up in a single chapter. Also Rebecca is tied to a stake while robots with torches surround her along with the machine king.
Shiki is also there and hereâs something that did remind me of rave, the tightness of the first chapter. Everything seems to flow like one continuous story and doesnât seem to do some dumb interlude like FTs first chapter did with that awkward moment where Lucy leaves Natsu and sheâs just randomly in the park reading.
The King wants to use her ship to leave this world and we get som kind of motivation out of him.
Oh wow, for a first chapter villain thatâs actually a really deep thing to unload. That as amusment park hosts they mustâve just been seen as pleasure tools and with no one around these robots who seem to be senstinent mustâve felt betrayed and...
Oooooor you cut out all moral ambiguity by just saying they have a virus. Sure. Trust me, this is where it gets stupid really stupid. And thatâs the inconsistency.
So these robots I guess are like the ones from the Animatrix where they just kinda develop sentience out of nowhere. But unlike Animatrix it doesnât seem to imply when they developed this sentience and that they began to think they were being abused.
Tired of Friendship already, it ainât leaving.
So why do you hate humans? They abandoned you I guess, but thereâs not other robot saying âhey our times were fun togetherâ no everyone is like they left us to rot so we hate them. Not like Humans did anything legitimate bad. We actually see that at the end of the chapter that there is some sort of central battery on the park that all robots are hooked up to. You could make their reason for hating humans that. That even though they left these sentiment robots still had a little kingdom to themselves, but realized that its all just going to end one day and humans didnât even bother to unplug them. Theyâre existence is literally knowing when theyâll die, imagine that as why they harbor negative emotions and maybe Shiki actually fixing things mightâve actually been prolonging their lives so maybe that be why they kept him around. This whole sentience things just feels like Hiro wanted to do a trope of crazy robots and ended using multiple to fit the whatever story purpose at the moment.
You do run the planet, dumbasses. This entire plane, apparently for hundreds of years, has been solely controlled by you. Maye this should be rephrased as, going to the place that built you to get revenge or as I spoiled with the battery weâll take the ship to get more power for our kingdom?
Shiki doesnât do anything and kinda lets the robots just wail on him as he found out all things in his life were a lie. Then Rebecca gives a friendship speech. A stupid stupid friendship speech.
Youâre right, Rebecca! Too bad we didnât see that. Iâm serious we barely see memories of Shiki with any robot outside of the demon king and Michael so thereâs no weight to this conflict. We only get the vague sense they raised hm, but thereâs no moments of Shiki really laughingg and enjoying their company outside of the party with Rebecca which rather is made more for getting Shiki to like Rebecca for this moment.
Shiki remembers what his Grandpa the Demon King said and just blows them all away.
We see Shikiâs hand and apparently he has these marks indicating he has Ether gear. The power system of this series.
Youâre sentiment! You have out grown your programming! You can choose to have a concept of friendship.
So they fight with shitty action scenes (If I can give Horikoshi a hard time for how he draws his fight choreography, then I sure as hell will give Hiro the once over.) Happy manages to save Rebecca and like Happy from early FT, he basically spots off exposition on powers.
So is it like a literal gear? Because Happy afterward destincties as the Gear of Gravity, so is it like a devil fruit? Is ether in all humans, but this specific gear brings it out in a certain way? If its internal then I guess its like the magic circuits from Fate? And then every of has their own unique variation like Nen? Like cause Happy gives it the distinction of Gravity it doesnât seem like Shiki gives a reason why he has this power. Iâm hoping \its like devil fruits, literal gears you implant and then it brings out your ether in a certain way.
Shiki punches out the machine king and cause a massive collapse.
Credit where credit is due, Hiro actually did build up the reveal of this power throughout the chapter and its actually really well done. Kinda reminds of something Oda would do with subtly building up a devil fruit power without revealing it. Like Crocodile drying out a flower but it isnât stated his power is specifically sand.
They then flee when the other robots rally and Shiki takes Rebecca back to her ship.
This scene would actually be really nice if we actually saw more young shiki actually having fun with the machines and not a being a creeper with them.
Shiki and Rebecca take off and we see the universe.
Not gonna lie, thatâs a really pretty shot. Like damn, I could get behind this.
It seems like worlds in this universe are basically like kingdom hearts worlds. Theyâre not real âworldsâ so much as they are islands in space.
Sure, keep the mystery alive why donât you, no that be too much.
Well great place to end the chapter. Little dry of a first story, but I definetly see that has room for improvment and there is something-Wait this isnât the last page? But what else is there to talk about. Thereâs nothing left-
Oh for fuck sake. Thatâs right they were trying to send SHiki away. Because apparently these robots thought there was no way to restore battery life even if stayed.
Hereâs a tip, ifyou really care, and had such a close bond, maybe tell him to leave? Tell SHiki the truth that you guys are tied to a battery and instead of Shiki vowing to leave for the stars so he can make 100 friends (Iâm not kiding thatâs his actual goal here). Then this would be an interesting goal.
But no, you have to act like human hating jackasses and shatter the boyâs entire reality, just so you he would go out and âchange the universeâ
This would be a really nice scene with a very nice amount of character development starting point, if we actually saw their past. All we know is they raised Shiki, but its never really seemed like theyâre loving or caring or Shiki openly gets upset if one of them had a problem. Again the biggest flaw with this chapter is that it sacrifices seeing one potentially interesting relationship (Shiki and the robots) for another one (Rebecca).
So we end on this page which reveals that Shikiâs goal is to have a hundred friends. Not going to say something snarky I just realized this is the same motivation as Yuki from future diary. Like before the crazy yandere shit.
Post Chapter follow up:
Lets be positive and look at the good stuff in this chapter. The first thing great about this chapter is it improved upon two of the biggest failings in the first chapter FT. Goals established and world building. Not only does this set up force Hiro Mashima to actually world build (literally) but each person in the first chapter has a goal that doesnât seem like it can be accomplished quickly. It means we can have investment in the story.
Another thing Iâll give is Shiki is an okay MC. He has more personality than Natsu, but not as much as Haru and this first chapter is about him. Its easy to understand that Lucy is often considered the MC of FT because it literally focuses on her for the story than Natsu. But this chapter had a healthy balance.
Also the power system at least seems to have some definition. Unlike how anyone could have magic yet normal people just donât choose to use it like in FT. Ether Gear seems to be a powersource that only a select few can use. Now we need to see first if there are ways of combating it like technology or such so a non ether gear person can still fight.
It also has its own unique aesthetic. Ft is a pretty generic fantasy world. It doesnât have the bleakness of bereserk or the Japanese aesthetic of naruto. You could say Black CLover, Fairy Tail, and Seven Deadly sins all had their first chapter happen in the same world and Iâd have trouble arguing it.
Now on to the crappy stuff. This series suffers from the usual Mashima foibles such as the sexual harassment, the stupidly way it tries to justify and give all conflict happy ending, not actually bothering to have a situation drawn out ad built up too, etc. I mean for the first conflict of the chapter its a heavy one, these guys raised SHiki yet their own mentality is against humans so Shiki has to choose, but instead of actually answering that question, it turns out there was no real conflict and the machines were just faking.
As for my like for Shiki, I flat hate Rebecca. She is so pointless and useless. Look I will defend Lucy and she actually can d things. First chapter she saved Natsu by using aquarius. But Rebecca? Sheâs just all of the bad traits of post timeskip Lucy. She is used for pointless fanservice, does nothing contribute, and becomes a mouth piece for friendship.
Speaking of friendship as a concept and goal here, Hiro just rewrite what you mean. Have deeper meaning than friends for once. There is ways you could take the motivation âI want to make 100 friendsâ in a compelling way. Prehaps Shiki is going out to make his own world where he can make a happy place for people where they can laugh and cry in harmony. Like story telling wise its pretty weak.
Like me personally, I wouldâve taken the first chapter like this, the robots are sentinet and they are nice to Shiki and Rebecca and they have genuine fun together. They gradually reveal that they are shutting down maybe one starts acting wonky and tries to hide it and maybe the machine king is the real bad guy. He has sentinece and hates humans and he wants to eliminate SHiki and Rebecca and thatâs because theyâre shutting down. The other robots say they donât care they were abandoned, they were mad at first but Shiki showed them that why they loved catering to humans. King and Shiki fight and they all reveal theyâre shutting down and Shiki cries he doesnât want them to go. The robots say its inevitable and they donât hpw to recharge the battery and Shiki vows to leave the planet and search for a power source to bring them all back. Then thatâs shikiâs goal and it even can cause questions like âIs it worth all this for machines?â or âwho designed them maybe we can figure out the right substance to power them up?â
or if Hiro wanted to go a more darker route. Have the machines have no sentience and literally be dolls for the King who turns out to be a human who stayed here on Granbell and made his own little kingdom. Make it a bit meta on how Shikiâs only friends were just hollow imitations of people who were only friends because thatâs what their programming dictated and they can all be switched off. It be meta as critiquing Ft and how all the guild characters basically had no conflicts, all got along, and were just friends with no depth or reason.
This all highlights the issue with Hiro Mashima and thatâs he is not a good a writer. Hiro is an incredibly talented person and can come up with incredibly unique ideas and looks, which is why his cover pages are the best things he puts out because its him free forming. But writing. He has a limited scope on that and stuff like sci-fi and fantasy can be very morally grey things. But Hiro doesnât seem to understand tragedy in the sense that its tragic because a person fails or dies unsatisfied. But he only seems to know how to write painfully obvious concepts like âsave the worldâ or âfriendshipâ instead doing a concept like âwhat it is to be a heroâ like MHA does which can have a variety of answers to it.
So whatâs the final verdict? Well I actually am going to do something different than usual. Iâm going to say what I though the quality was compared to FT and then to what Iâd consider this work compared to anything else.
In comparison to FT, Edenâs Zero gets a Final verdict of 8/10
Improves on a lot of FTâs first chapter flaws
Created a more unique environment for a story
And actually has a lot tighter narrative
But in comparison to everything else...
Final Verdict: 5/10
Even if it wasnât Hiro, its a pretty generic start (some names arenât even all that inspired like Machine King, Demon King)
Potential to grow into something better is there
Nothing is outright offensive
Cool concept
#eden's zero#eden's zero chapter 1#edens zero#shiki granbell#rebecca#happy the cat#demon king#happy the exceed#natsu dragneel#hiro mashima#fairy tail#rave master#haru glory#lucy heartfilia#gray fullbuster#gratsu#Mirajane Strauss#makarov dreyar#wendy marvell#erza scarlet#jellal fernandes#hamrio musica#one piece#kohei horikoshi
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preggo drabble.
// - i do write fluff. fluff is fun. so i wrote this fluff as a gift ( surprise but not really bc i love this person ) to @cptstevenâ . letâs be real, most of my drabbles are gifts. or responses to prompts. ANYWAYS. enjoy some romanogers. i know i do. c:
Moments spanned across, stretching from the instant to the hour. Realization held the broad spectrum of every conceivable emotion a mind could have, belittling the more extravagant with nothing more than the candid nature of love. A realization steeped heavily in revelation to bring about a single slide in time to encapsulate the impossible. In the entirety of the universe, miracles were few and far between, chancing a glimpse at the spotlight many feigned witness to. Time and time again, these were fleeting morsels of the improbable, often spoken of in the same sentence as divine intervention and the like. But such words were lost from the mouth of one born of stoicism, for there was a heavy belief a miracle would fall short of something never savored.
It had never been stated before, this impossibility and how it would last. But as with most things precious and tentative, a secret was made in order to maintain some decorum without the possible shattering of hope. It was the last thing anyone needed in this time of perceived strife, to know something far more delicate hung in the balance. The less people knew, the less they were inclined to become heartbroken should the inevitable happen. Or rather, what was believed to be inevitable.
And so, a harborer of secrets took one more to weigh upon her shoulders, self-inflicted and tightly held to her heart. While most of what she kept within the darkness resided there a thousand lifetimes over, this would only need to remain so for three months. The defected Soviet could handle three months, surely. Far worse and far more tempting had been endured for longer periods of time. Perhaps on those missions taken over the duration she was a bit more careful, more conscious of what was at stake. No longer throwing herself into the path of gunfire, but seeking refuge despite the slower success rate of objectives achieved.
âItâs nothing,â she said when questioned by those close to the pair. âJust feeling a little mortal these days.â
Most bought it, having heard those words spoken by her before when mentality was shaken by something she cared not to share. It was pertinent to remain elusive despite the prying eyes, concern painting the features of her teammates as well as Steveâs own. He was perhaps the most keen to the nuances that surrounded her being. In light of the walls sheâd allowed him past, whole new dimensions had opened up, revealing an entire different person hidden beneath the Black Widow persona, and he chose to love the entirety of her. Natasha, Natalia, Black Widow - every face she wore to hide behind, he accepted and adored regardless.
It was fear that kept words from being voiced. Not fear of his reaction - she knew very well how heâd react - but it was the fear of something taking truth from the words and bolstering her image to being a liar once again.
For three months, not a word was said. Restaurants were pinned with food poisoning to mask the nausea in the early morning hours, and general laziness for the lack of energy. Excuse were made topical, easily smoothed over in the advantage taken over trust. Guilt etched into her backbone, but it remained justified as assumed inevitability held her hostage of pessimism. It was a reliance upon past behaviors that kept her hidden in plain sight, all peculiarities presented with offered excuses with false credentials.
It would be difficult to keep a secret much longer, she found, since thereâd be an undeniable growth at the front of her. Thereâd be no excuse for it save the truth, and in that precarious time of fragile weeks, everything seemed to be going accordingly. A private practitioner had been utilized for the bare minimum of checkups, careful to remain as anonymous as possible, both to him and those who tended to follow here every move. Caution held her secret tightly, but like with most things, the time had come.
The idea of saying something hit her in the middle of a sparring session, as grins turned wicked in their playful training. Hits werenât nearly as hard, but the techniques were fluid yet rigid all the same. Having claimed long ago he couldnât dance, Natasha often noted his rhythm resided in his violence. This stubborn idea stuck with her, serving as a distraction to unceremoniously land her flat on her back against the worn mats. An apology was immediately doled out from the Good Captain, hand extended in an offer to help her stand, which she naturally took. It was unlike her to give the upperhand so easily, especially to him, and it was questioned in small, three worded questions as they made their way throughout the day.
This idea became more a problem than a distraction as the hours ticked on, burning a wildfire along synapses and bringing every thought to swirl around it. Every part of her should be excited to tell him the miracle they had both unknowingly created, but something held her back. Instability perhaps, was her driving reason behind secrecy, but even then, her lack of focus drew something born of concern from the patriot.
âNat, are you okay?â Itâd been in the car as she sat behind the steering wheel, waiting for the light to change from ruby to emerald. They often traded days for driving - Natasha with her sleek car and Steve with his almost too fitting motorcycle. Sheâd been staring intently at the light, lost in the unheard buzzing of lights, but it was his voice that snapped her back to the present.
âHm? Oh. Yeah, Iâm fine. I just have something on my mind.â Half-truths paved the way for putting off the future blame of lying, but it was simply second nature by now.
âDo you want to talk about it?â
âNo,â she answered almost too quickly. She neednât glance in his direction to know that worry painted eyes of the purest crystal. So, she offered a pleasant smile, as if that would tide him over. âNot yet, pretty boy.â
The drive was in relative silence, the quiet melody of the radio turned almost all the way down filled the awkward space between them. His fear and worry nearly outgrew the car though, stifling any clear thought processes on her end. If anything, she should tell him just for his sake.
He wonât be made, she told herself. Heâll stutter and smile too wide and hug you and everything will feel perfect.
Natasha parked the car, slipping out without glancing back at him. Every action was being put beneath a microscope, theories running abound within that star spangled mind of his, yet she could do so little to dissuade him of what he was assuming already.
What are you so afraid of?
Nothing remains perfect, she answered herself. This will get taken from me, from us, just as everything else has.
But he hasnât been taken from you.
Not yet.
Together they moved to his apartment, him half a step behind her. It was almost too easy to feel his gaze burning at the back of her head, but like with most things, Natasha refused to acknowledge it, even as she opened the door for them. The familiarity of this place - long ago earning the title of âhomeâ - should have quelled shaking nerves, but it barely touched upon them.
âNat, can you talk to me?â In more ways than one, she was cornered. âPlease? Come on.â
The Soviet finally relented, nodding somewhat.
âYouâre gonna wanna sit for this talk.â In the back of her mind, Natasha knew that couldâve been worded better, especially as she saw the color drain from his face as he obediently took a seat at the table, chair turned out so he could face her properly.
âYouâre not leaving me, are you?â The veil of humor was a pitiful attempt at hiding a very real fear beneath. Steve had certainly gotten better at lying, but there was no fooling a woman who was deemed a professional liar.
âNo,â she answered abruptly, cursing a default mode to be cold as the Motherland in times of duress. In an attempt to alleviate the ambiguity, she offered an olive branch. Â âWeâve already established that youâre stuck with me. Itâs even on paper now.â
It didnât do much to make him feel better, and it was easy to see.
âThen what is it? Whatâs going on, Nat?â
What was only five seconds felt like five turns around the sun, time slowing to an almost standstill as she grasped for the right words to be offered. After gnawing on the inside of her cheek, crossing her arms and leaning against the kitchen counter, the truth could only make itself known in the usual hidden manner.
âYouâre gonna be a dad, Steve.â A menagerie of possibilities flipped through his mind, and she could see him try to figure out the actual meaning behind those words.
âDid you legally adopt Parker? Weâve gone over this. Heâs too old to adopt.â Immediately, Natalia rolled her eyes since that had obviously been a joke at the time sheâd initially started introducing Spider-Man as her son.
âSteve, no. Thatâs not-...Steve, Iâm telling you Iâm pregnant.â Every inch of her being willed him to not ask if it was his, and thankfully, he received the message. In the dawning of realization upon his features, she watched the universe unfurl in his eyes, and something so beautiful blossomed that could never be captured on canvas or stone.
âYouâre-...wait, but how? Youâre pregnant?â
âYouâre guess is as good as mine, pretty boy. I guess youâre a super soldier...everywhere.â The pitiful joke bounced off him as if she hadnât said anything at all. Instead, he stood, his towering height seeming to be tenfold as he took slow steps to her. There was no reason to move away from him. Thereâd never been a reason for a step back.
âYouâre...pregnant,â he finally stated, looking down between them as fingers gingerly moved over her navel, and all she could do was watch him with a sentimental sort of amusement. âOh my god, Nat.â
And there was the excitement she was waiting for.
âNat! Youâre pregnant! Iâm going to be a father!â In one smooth motion, he wrapped his arms around her and lifted her almost too easily off the ground, leaving her wrap her arms around his neck, just as he buried his face in her own. Through the curls of crimson, she swore she could feel the searing tears of joy sheâd rarely paid witness to, let alone felt on her own.
âYouâre going to be a dad, Steve,â she murmured against his neck. His grip on her wasnât too tight, nor was it too light. In his arms, she felt the same security she had always felt. In his arms, she felt the weight of the world lift from her shoulders and the once elusive happiness now flooded in once more, all because of him.
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Austin Kingsley: Star Prodigy â Episode 1, âSaving Alexandria,â Part 5
Sept. 8, 1987.
The first day of school.
âYour dad seems like a really great guy,â Mitzi Klingfeld smiled sadly, as she dabbed discreetly at her mascara-lined eyes with a tissue from the office desk Austin Kingsley had unearthed and proceeded to partly stock up for her at the Bookhouse.
âBoth my parents were good people,â Austin agreed briskly, as he loaded the desk with both heavy bound volumes, complete with clasp locks, and string-tied loose-leaf binders, so overstuffed and barely organized their pages threatened to spill out.
âIt's okay to cry, you know,â Mitzi sniffled and chuckled all at once, with a mix of gentle chiding and encouragement. âI didn't even know the guy, and I've been bawling my eyes out over here.â
âYou actually sound like my father right now,â Austin sighed, offering her a tired smile of his own. âHe used to tell me the same thing. And I absolutely agree; there is no shame whatsoever in shedding tears, if it helps heal your hurts. The problem is, it doesn't do anything for me.â
Mitzi blinked with disbelief. âSo, you're telling me you've never cried?â
âI didn't say that,â Austin rushed to correct her. âWhat I am trying to say ⌠is that I haven't cried since my mother died, when I was 13 years old.â
Mitzi gaped at this admission. âBut ⌠I mean ⌠what happened?â was all she could think to ask.
âShe was conducting covert scientific research of some kind,â Austin threw himself into unfastening the supple leather covers, and spreading open the wrinkled handwritten pages, âright here in the Bookhouse. It was dangerous enough that she didn't even tell my father, probably because she knew he'd plead with her to stop, for safety's sake alone. And ⌠there was an explosion. A pretty big one. You can still see some stray scorch marks, on exposed sections of the concrete.â
Mitzi squeezed his shoulder. âI'm sorry.â
Austin squinted quizzically at her. âWhy? It wasn't your fault.â He shook his head, as if to clear it. âAnyway, I must have cried for something like three days after she died, but once I finally got to the point where my body literally could not sustain the physical effort of crying any longer, I realized that my mother was still just as dead, and I still felt just as badly about that fact.â
âSo, you really haven't cried, in all the years since?â Mitzi fixed him with a pitying gaze.
Austin's brow furrowed in confusion at her reaction. âIf it doesn't bring back who or what I've lost, and it doesn't even make me feel better, then please tell me, what exactly is the point of the exercise?â
Mitzi's jaw dropped, but she nonetheless managed to hold herself back from passionately hashing out the issue on the spot. âTo be continued,â she instead declared firmly, shutting her eyes tight as she pinched the bridge of her nose. âMoving on to more productive topics, you and your dad called it the Star Point Portal. Does that mean that he got, like ⌠whoosh, transported into outer space?â
âTo another planet, you mean?â Austin checked, before shrugging and settling on a grudging nod, as he pored over the sea of text laid out before him. âThat's my leading theory, albeit mostly by default. He made a handful of scattered notations about what he termed an 'Otherworld,' in quotation marks, possibly named Thel ⌠or Quadris, or Aurica, or Eldebran âŚÂ maybe even Aetheria,â he pointed to different pages for each one, âbut even those are ambiguous about whether it's simply another world, or possibly even in a different dimension ââ
âHow are you not able to narrow down your search any further than that?â Mitzi's exasperation at last overwhelmed her patience. âWith all these books in front of you ââ
âIn case you hadn't noticed, we left the realm of legitimate archaeology behind a while ago,â Austin countered, with a measure of peevishness to match her own. âWe're now squarely within the realm of myths and legends. Any remotely credible accounts concerning the Star Point Portal simply state, straight out, that it cannot, does not and should not exist.â His shoulders slumped. âBesides, my father's notes don't tell me anything he didn't already tell me himself. There's speculation that the Star Point Portal enables not only interstellar travel, but could also allow entry into alternate timelines, perhaps even parallel universes.â
âThe ancient Egyptians couldn't have built something that sophisticated, could they?â Mitzi guessed.
âThe ancient Egyptians were perfectly capable of building the pyramids and the Great Sphinx of Giza all on their own, without any extraterrestrial intervention,â Austin assessed, âand indeed, I'd suggest that's precisely why they were contacted, but no, something as advanced as the Star Point Portal was well beyond their grasp.â
Mitzi wheeled the nearest whiteboard next to the desk, flipped it over to its blank side, and started scribbling notes of her own on it with a dry-erase marker. âSo, this Star Point Portal ⌠beams your dad up to 'Otherworld,' maybe?â she collected her thoughts, more for her benefit than his, as the words she wrote mirrored those she muttered aloud. âAnother planet, or different dimension ⌠question mark?â
âWhat is this, that you're doing here?â Austin wondered, echoing her earlier question to him.
Mitzi rolled her eyes, without slowing her cursive loops. âYou're so much like my daughter, it kills me. You're both geniuses, but neither one of you has got common sense enough to keep all those details straight in your heads by diagramming them out. At least she has the excuse of still being a kid.â
As Mitzi's felt-tip pen squeaked out the words, âStar Point Portal built by ⌠WHO?â, Austin took up an eraser pad and a magic marker of his own, to replace the word âWHO?â with âAncient Astronauts.â
âAliens?â Mitzi asked aloud, as she wrote the word at the end of the whiteboard sentence, complete with question mark.
Austin recapped his pen, and raised his hands in helpless resignation. âAgain, that'd be my best-guess hypothesis, but ⌠my father always referred to them as Ancient Astronauts, and regardless of whomever or whatever they were, I tend to agree with my father, that they were drawn to Earth by the intelligence that the ancient Egyptians demonstrated, through the peerless precision of their architecture.â
âOkay, so, the Ancient Astronauts built the Star Point Portal, which they left behind with the ancient Egyptians,â Mitzi summed up, drawing an arrow from âAncient Astronautsâ to âAncient Egyptiansâ on the whiteboard, âand when you and your dad dug it back up last month, the Star Point Portal zapped your dad into ⌠parts unknown,â she circled a trio of question marks, reading â???â on the board.
âThat's ⌠about the size of it, yes,â Austin ran his hands through his hair, until his fingers interlaced at the back of his neck.
After Mitzi had replaced her own marker on the whiteboard tray, she stopped short, struck by a sudden thought. âOh my God,â she gasped, her hands rushing up to her mouth, âyou had to come back home without your dad, and then try to explain to everyone what had happened. You couldn't tell anyone the truth, because nobody would have believed a sci-fi story like that ââ
âAnd even the least discerning ones among them could easily tell that the explanations I was supplying were far from the truth,â Austin flashed a rueful smirk. âI'm not an especially gifted liar, so my obvious dissembling, about my suspiciously missing father, gave the Van Dorens all the justification they needed, to argue that the AthenĂŚum would be in better hands with their family steering its course.â
Austin wandered back to the desk, planted his hands on the desktop, and stared down wearily at the piles of pages that covered its surface. âFive pyramid-shaped segments, which come together to form the five-pointed star at the heart of the Star Point Portal,â he repeated his father's words, before pushing himself away from the desk. âI've tried opening the Ouroboros on my own, hooking myself up to it, like I was jump-starting a car battery, but without that key ⌠even with me and my father working together, it took us forever to find the hidden entrance to the Hall of Records beneath the Sphinx. The window of the Harmonic Convergence had nearly closed by the time I finally located the Ouroboros.â
Mitzi snorted mirthlessly. âAnd here I thought the Harmonic Convergence was just another Woodstock, for New Age gurus to wave their cleansing crystals over each other.â
âMy parents tried to explain Woodstock to me,â Austin rubbed his bleary eyes, âbut I suspect it's the sort of historic event that only makes sense if you've lived through it.â
âOh, honey, you're so young,â Mitzi couldn't resist giggling. âSpeaking as someone who was actually old enough to have lived through it, it never made any sense to me, then or now.â
Austin cocked his head curiously to one side. âHow old are you?â
Mitzi slapped his shoulder, hard. âRUDE! You don't ask a lady her age! How would you like it if I asked you YOUR age?â
âI'm 24,â Austin responded by reflex.
âYeah, well, I'm thirty-niii â I mean, what I meant to say was, I'm ⌠almost 30, so I'm, like ⌠29?â Mitzi ventured tentatively, after her initial series of stumbles.
Austin narrowed his eyes skeptically. âHm. That'd make you the same age as Nora, then. Funny; you seem younger than her.â
âOh, really?â Mitzi resisted the impulse to preen, biting her lower lip to keep from beaming openly, even as her attempt at pursing her lips broke into a huge, goofy grin that spread all across her face.
âAre you okay?â Austin asked, out of what sounded like equal amounts of clinically scientific curiosity and earnest concern for her welfare. âYou appear to be ⌠blushing ââ
âNo, yeah, sorry,â Mitzi cleared her throat and inhaled sharply, straightening herself up and crossing her arms over her broad chest in mild embarrassment. âSo, what I'm hearing is, you're gonna have to hunt down all five of these ancient artifact thingamajigs, and that's gonna take some time.â Here, she adopted the same professional tone to which she'd been subjected by so many workplace motivational speakers. âSo, in the meantime, as long as you're gonna be spending all that time searching anyway, why not make that time work for you?â
Now Austin was finally, fully lost. âI ⌠am not sure that I follow.â
Mitzi slid her smaller hand into his gentle grip, and led him out onto an open space on the concrete floor. âAustin, you can literally spin planets out of pennies,â she laughed, raising his arm so she could twirl in place while still holding his hand. She then grabbed both his hands, and tugged him closer to her. âHave you even bothered to try and figure out how many other powers you might have?â
Austin's expression grew more confident, as he was able to return to more comfortably familiar footing. âActually, I've been using an updated version of my father's old Quest Tracker computer, to keep track of all the abilities I seem to have manifested so far,â he pointed to the large upright metal ring, taking the lead in their dance by tugging Mitzi with him, while he took a few steps toward the assembly, until he was near enough to scoop up the Ouroboros from the floor.
Mitzi tested the granular texture of the carved stone relic with her fingertips, jerking her hand away when its neon yellow light trails pulsed in response. âSo, when this whatsit opened, during the Harmonic Convergence, it basically bathed you in, like, cosmic rays?â
âThat's about as accurate an explanation as any I've been able to come up with,â Austin admitted, with a self-effacing grin. âYou're not a half-bad scientist, Mitzi Klingfeld.â
âYou really do mean that, don't you?â Mitzi brushed his floppy bangs back from his eyes, momentarily taken aback by the sincerity of his compliment. âIt's not just a line, or a come-on.â
Austin winced apologetically. âI recognize those are probably idiomatic phrases, but ⌠I can't parse their meanings from the context provided.â
Mitzi patted Austin's cheek. âNever mind. It doesn't matter. What does matter, Mister Kingsley,â she took hold of his wrist, and lifted his arm to bring the Ouroboros to eye-level between them, âis what you learned about your powers, through your mad science experiments. So spill.â
Austin took a deep breath. âIn simplest terms, it appears my exposure to the extraterrestrial energies released by the Star Point Portal ⌠has altered my relationships with matter and energy,â he struggled to summarize his findings, as Mitzi spotted the pattern behind his fidgety habit of tapping each of his fingertips, twice in a row, against the flat of his thumb, in a repeating sequence. âIt's ⌠difficult to get much more specific than that, except to point out how the potential applications of such powers are obviously profound, even if my current capacity to tap into those powers seems severely limited. Because unfortunately, this,â here, he briefly waved the Ouroboros, the wrist-twisting gesture reminding Mitzi of a tambourine player, âdidn't come with an instruction manual.â
âBut even if you didn't have bona fide superpowers, which you do, you've got some seriously super skills and gifts, that you could already be using to do good,â Mitzi began to list them, ticking them off on her fingers, one by one. âYou're brilliant, you're rich ⌠I mean, even after the hostile takeover of your family's company, I'm guessing you're still loaded, yeah?â
âI have an inheritance that's independent of the AthenĂŚum,â Austin confirmed. âI have absolutely no idea what its financial value amounts to, but my parents assured me it would pay for the Bookhouse's rent, utilities and any future permutation of telecommunications fees into perpetuity.â
âIn other words, you're so rich, you can actually afford to not even know how much money you do have,â Mitzi marveled, her tone wavering between scorn and admiration. âPlus, you're mourning the loss of your parents, and you've got an honest-to-God secret lair. You're basically Bruce Wayne, before he picked out a costume and a cool car.â
Austin hesitated to reveal even more of his ignorance to Mitzi, but his next question was unavoidable. âWho is Bruce Wayne?â
Mitzi clutched her temples, to fend off the stress headache she felt coming on. âOkay. Let's try this instead; if you had the power to do anything you wanted â and after you used that power to bring back your dad, because of course, that's a given, I totally get that â what would you do?â
âWell, for a start, I wouldn't waste that level of power on a task that I'll be able to accomplish without it,â Austin scoffed. âMy father trusted me to track down and reassemble the pieces of the key to the Star Point Portal. It'll happen. As you said, I just have to put in the work in the meantime.â He paused, and a dawning realization crept across his face. âBut if I could travel back in time ⌠I could use those powers for saving Alexandria.â
Mitzi caressed his cheek. âOh, honey ⌠was Alexandria your mom?â
âWhat? No,â Austin unwittingly disregarded her empathy. âThe Royal Library of Alexandria, founded probably not long after the start of the Ptolemaic dynasty in Egypt, circa 3rd Century B.C.â
The way Mitzi set her jaw would have been recognized by any of her exes as a warning sign. âSo, what you're telling me is, if you could do anything you wanted, you would use that power ⌠to bring back a library?â
âNot just A library,â Austin enthused, âTHE library. The library against which all other libraries in history have been judged. For more than two centuries, about the same age that the United States of America is now, the Library of Alexandria served as a repository for all the knowledge in the world, that had been recorded at that time. To this day, we're still relearning discoveries that were already made millennia ago, and then lost when the library was destroyed by the fires of Roman armies. If those insights could have been preserved and carried forward, human civilization could have had a two-thousand-year head start on where we are now.â
âAnd what about where we are now?â Mitzi shot back. âWhat about the real world, outside this warehouse, the way it is right now? You and your dad spent so much time digging in the dirt, it's like all you know how to do without him is just ⌠bury yourself in the past.â
âThat's not what this is,â Austin denied, as he set the Ouroboros down delicately among the aged pages on the desk, causing them to crinkle like autumn leaves. âYou're acting like I've lived my whole life in the Bookhouse, when I've been traveling around the world with my parents since before I could even walk.â
On a shelf next to the desk, Austin spied a child-sized globe that seemed familiar to him. Even before he fetched it, and ran his fingers over the multitude of red pins stuck into its soft cork surface, Mitzi had gathered that each pin marked a spot where he'd stopped on his travels. âI was 9 years old when I climbed up the side of the Great Pyramid of Giza. I've bedded down in the Sahara desert with roaming Bedouins, and foraged for food alongside otherwise isolated tribes in the Amazon rainforest. I've long since lost track of how many languages I've learned, and how many different cultures I've encountered firsthand.â
âAnd in all that time, you never saw something that you thought needed fixing?â Mitzi pleaded.
âIt's too complex!â Austin threw his hands in the air. âThe more I learn â about the world, about other people â the less I understand. I'm not qualified to diagnose what ails modern human civilization.â
Mitzi stroked his forehead soothingly, as she prized the globe from his grasp, to place it on the desk. âAustin, you don't have to solve all the world's problems at once, you know. It's not like I'd have the first clue how to tackle the big picture, so ⌠let's start small. How about helping out the city?â
âWhy this city in particular?â Austin inquired, more intrigued than dismissive of her suggestion.
âWhy not?â Mitzi swept her arms out expansively. âIt's where we both rest our heads at night, isn't it? Besides, there are people out there who are homeless, and hungry. And if you live in the big city, you're always at risk, of getting robbed, or shot, or worse. Imagine what could happen, if this city had its own superhero?â
âI have to tell you, I don't think I know a single thing about this city,â Austin freely confessed, feeling steadily less embarrassed by the gaps in his knowledge, and instead, increasingly eager to delve into new discoveries.
âWell, I may not be the highfalutin academic that you are, Mister Kingsley,â Mitzi's lips curled into a mischievous smirk, âbut there was one subject in school I always excelled at, that I think you could learn some lessons from.â
âWhich is?â
âField trips.â
#Austin Kingsley: Star Prodigy#Austin Kingsley#Star Prodigy#Mitzi Klingfeld#Charlemagne Kingsley#Hypatia Germain Kingsley#Nora Van Doren#Beatrix Klingfeld#Bookhouse#AthenĂŚum#Q-T#Quest Tracker#Ancient Astronauts#Star Point Portal#Ouroboros#Harmonic Convergence#Saving Alexandria
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What actually prompted me to ask you about Finrod is your fic Anathema :) I liked very much his characterization bc he is also imo very complex and enigmatic. Could you elaborate why you find him quite creepy on his first meeting with BĂŤorâs people?
Oooh, thankyou very much! Iâm glad you liked it đ As for yourquestion, I think the best thing to do is to look at the texts (itâs going tobe longâŚ)
The Silmarillion, Chapter 17, Of the coming of Men into the west + Later Quenta Silmarillion,The War of the Jewels.
âThen Felagund,standing silent in the night-shadow of the trees, looked down in to the campand he beheld a strange peopleâÂ
Everythingâs cool, except for the ânight-shadowâ thing which, to me, foreshadows something that is not quite clear.
â[âŚ] Long Felagundwatched themâ
 I do believe that It must have been very strange andfascinating to discover the Atani. But how long did he watch them exactly? Iâdnot feel very comfortable to learn that my friend lurked around and watched âlongâbefore introducing themselves.
ââŚAnd lovefor them stirred in his hearâ.Â
I can understand the spiritual/intellectualattraction and the curiosity, so Iâm fine with it.
ââŚBut heremained hidden in the trees until they had fallen asleep. Then he went amongthe sleeping peopleâŚâ
Wait, what?Â
Thatâs where it really becomes creepy⌠ although I perfectly understand the fact thathe has to be cautious because the Men could be wary, I just feel very uneasy withthis image of a powerful being hiding in the trees and sneaking into the campwhen everybodyâs asleepâŚ
â⌠and satbeside their dying fire where none kept watch.â
â⌠and hetook a rude harp which BĂŤor had laid aside, and he played music upon such asthe ears of Men had not heard; for they had as yet no teachers in the art, saveonly the Dark-Elves in the wild landsâÂ
Letâs try to ignore the contemptuouscomments of the narrator (Pengolodh btw) - yeah because only the Eldar know about arts andculture, and only they can teach what art is to other speciesâŚ. Does it remindyou of something? - and go on.
âNow Menawoke and listened to Felagund as he harped and sang, and each thought that hewas in some fair dreamâ.Â
Thatâs where we must remember the power of music inTolkienâs world, and Finrodâs mastery (cf. the music fight with Sauron in The Layof Leithian); What sort of device can music be? Does music summon images? Howdoes it affect emotions and sentiments? âeach thought he was in some fair dreamâimplies the idea of an illusion, doesnât it?
â⌠until hesaw that his fellow was awake also beside himâÂ
So, the power of music isstrong enough to prevent Men from acknowledging whatâs happening aroundâŚ?
âBut theydid not speak or stir while Felagund still played, because of the beauty of themusic and the wonder of the song. Wisdom was in the words of the Elven-king,and the hearts grew wiser that hearkened to himâ.Â
Pretty cool, right?
 Yet,wisdom. Which wisdom? Is absolute wisdom a thing? Isnât it supposed to berelative, related to your culture, environment, experiences, etc.? Hm. Here, weare talking about wisdom according to the Eldar, which ultimately discards the Ataniâs wisdom and makes it meaningless, if not something that does not evenexist. /Lol/
ââŚfor the thingsof which he sang, of the making of Arda,â
Which Felagund has never actuallywitnessedâŚ
ââŚAnd thebliss of Aman beyond the shadows of the sea, came as clear visions before theireyes.âÂ
I agree about Aman, it makes perfect sense. But how could he give them visionsof the Making if he never witnessed it? Did he get the same visions from theAinur? Or did he make them up? #noidea
ââŚand hisElvish speech was interpreted in each mind according to its measure.â
Okay,letâs repeat the last part: âaccording to its measure.â So, if I understandcorrectly, Felagund adapted his song and words and the visions he displayedaccording to what each individual was able to acknowledge. Although it isactually great to adapt your speech to your audience (you donât speak to scholarsthe way you speak to high-school students), I cannot help wondering about themanipulative aspect of it. If there is no actual manipulation, it still showsthat Finrod would have been able to do it. Not only heis smart enough to realize how/when to do it, but his song is also powerfulenough for it, and he is skilled enough to modulate his songs and to use therequired rhetorical tools.
ââŚand theyloved him and took him for their lord and were ever after loyal to the House ofFinarfin.âÂ
This sentence appears a conclusion of the passage, as a logical consequenceof the whole thing, as if it were but a natural outcome of the meeting between theMen and the Eldar. But hadnât it been prepared by the whole narrativedevelopment? Think about it. When Finrod started to sing and revealed himselfto the Men, he had already watched them âlongâ, meaning that he had probablyunderstood/learned many things about them before he decided to show up. Wasnâtit the plan from the beginning, to make the Men acknowledge him as loremaster,as a teacher, as the voice of wisdom and consequently, as a lord? I do not doubtthat there is a genuine affection regarding Felagundâs relationship to the Men(obviously it is a thing), but I canât help seeing some sort of purpose behindthe seemingly innocent display of knowledge, grace, beauty⌠and power.
â[âŚ] Indeed,they believed at first Felagund was one of the Valar [âgodsâ in the LQS], ofwhom they had heard rumour that dwelt in the West, and this was (some say) thechief cause of their journeyâÂ
Although I am certain Finrod never pretended tobe an Ainur, and never even thought about it, there is something quiteambivalent in his first approach to men. What exactly did he expected them tothink of him?
ââŚButFelagund dwelt among them and taught them true lore.âÂ
Lol. True lore. TRUTH.Again, like wisdom, I donât believe there is one universal, absolute truth.Especially in terms of lore. And it irks me to be told about âtrue loreâ, âtruewisdomâ. QED
ââŚand Felagund discovered also that he couldread in the minds of Men such thoughts as they wished to reveal in speech sothat their words were easily interpretedâ
The sentence is supposed to explainhow they communicate. Hence the emphasis on âas they wished to revealâ. But ifhe can read in their minds so easily, he would probably be able to discoverwhat they donât want to reveal, wouldnât he? Perhaps he did not try to, but itmust have been possible, right? So yeah. Creepy.
The Quenta Silmarillion,The Lost Road and Other Writings.
Here, wehave more or less the same narrative; the syntax and vocabulary are slightlydifferent but the meaning is the same (âFelagund drew nigh among the trees tothe camp of BĂŤor and he remained hidden until all had fallen asleep [âŚ] and hetook a rude harp [âŚ] and they marvelled, for wisdom was in that song as well asbeauty [âŚ] at first they deemed that Felagund was one of the gods [âŚ] butFelagund told them true lore [âŚ].) Which means that this meeting has alwaysfollowed the same narrative pattern, with no major change between the differentperiods of writing.
Now there aretwo more points that trouble me, which appear in the LQS and in the Lost RoadâŚâsQS:  While in the published Silmarillionwe have âin this way he got his name, BĂŤor, whereas his name before had beenBalan; for BĂŤor signified âVassalâ in the tongue of his peopleâ, in the LQS wehave: âthus BĂŤor got his name, for it signified Vassal in their tongue, andeach of their chieftains after him bore this name as a title until the time ofBregolas and Barahir, and in QS: âthus BĂŤor the Vassal got his name among the Noldor".
Ok. A bitof intellectual honesty is required here; it is true that in medievalliterature vassalage was often seen as something very honorific, and BĂŤorâsloyalty to Finrod is given as something beautiful and honourable. And again, Ido believe that, on the question of sentiments between Finrod and BĂŤor, it wasgenuine. Yet, I can help feeling a bit uneasy about the whole thing, especiallyin the name-title which is inherited as a way to remind them of their place inthe hierarchyâŚ. Or maybe Iâm just paranoid. But. Yeah. Irks.
We alsohave something in both the LQS and in the QS:Â
âFor BĂŤor and his folk laterlearned the language of the Eldar and forsook their own.âÂ
 Although it is greatfor them to be able to speak the Eldarin tongue, Iâm quite uncomfortable withthe idea that they just dropped their own tongue⌠Ok, the Eldar wereinfluential lords and they were numerous and all, but still. To totally forsake oneâslanguage under the influence of powerful lords (in a few generations only) isquite⌠disturbing. And Tolkien was a linguist, he knew the history of languages,he knew that a language doesnât simply disappear because the people decided toforsake it. Proof is given in the Silmarillion:Â
âMen had long had dealings withthe Dark elves, east of the Mountains, and from them had learned much of theirspeech, and since all the languages of the Quendi were of one origin, thelanguage of BĂŤor and is folk resembled the Elven-tongue in many words anddevicesâ.Â
This makes sense, because languages influence one another, they mergethrough the contacts with other people, and thatâs apparently the case betweenthe Atani and the Dark-Elves. Yet, when one language is totally forsaken to bereplaced by another one, it is much more⌠problematic? Or at least ambiguous, especiallysince the Eldar are very good at learning other languages.
A new wave ofintellectual honesty is required: It is true that Tolkien enriched this idea,through the character of Tuor, and it is given in the Lhammas:
âNaught is preservedof the most ancient speeches of Men, save of the tongue of the folk of BĂŤor andHaleth and Hador. Now the languages of these folks were greatly influenced bythe Green-Elves, and it was of old, named Taliska, and this tongue was knownstill to Tuor[âŚ], and it was in part recorded by the wise men of Gondolin whereTuor for a while abode. Yet Tuor himself used this tongue no longer, foralready even in Gumlinâs day men in Beleriand forsook the daily use of theirown tongue and spoke and gave names unto their children children in the languageof the Gnomes.â
So, some mortals remembered the old tongue, but only the most literate apparently; whichconfirms the idea of one language âthat of the vassals â being replaced by that of their lords who are supposed tobe keen on languages. Historically, the influence of a language is related tothe power of the people speaking it: Wealth -> big army (+ loads of manuscripts)-> influential language. So it makes sense in Beleriand. But language ispower, and even though the Men willingly adopted the Eldarin tongue, it seemsvery strange that they simply forsook their native tongue⌠Right?
Now, I have no definitive conclusion and I donât try to prove anything since I donât really know how to take it myself - I only find this whole passage weird. It isambiguous. Obviously,Finrod liked BĂŤorâs people and respected them. After all, he did help themsettle in Beleriand, he trusted them and was a good lord to them. But the more I thinkabout it, the more I read some elements as a manifestation of something that isa bit âimperialisticâ (âhelping the poor uncivilized men to climb theladder of civilisationââŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ..)  Maybe Iâmwrong, I donât know. Maybe Iâll eventually change my mind about this interpretationwhich is far from being the only possible reading. But I cannot unsee these problematicelements. In any case, I cling to my opinion that thereâs something unclear,if only in the diegetic narratorâs intents.
#anonymous#each time i read the silm i read this passage several times to make sure it's not me misreading it.... each time it gets weirder..... idk#i have an irritating tendency to quesiton every narrative#academic quirks#headcanon#meta#sort of#ooc
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what is an artist
he asked me this question, and is waiting for an answer
although, itâs a question iâve been asking for myself for a while now. and i havenât really found a great answer. i guess to begin we can start with what i do consider myself as. or, the things that i donât have an issue calling myself.Â
i could call myself a student, and/or a passionate pursuer of the arts. i would called myself an engineer or a software developer (though the last time i âengineeredâ something was years ago). iâd call myself a product manager, because thatâs what i do know. iâd call myself a tennis player, because i can play tennis pretty well. i would not call myself a volleyball player even though iâve played volleyball. i would not call myself a singer, because even though i love singing and i sing a lot, i am a terrible singer and do not really want to be a singer. Â
perhaps itâs that those arenât things i really consider critical to my identity. i donât have any problem calling myself those titles that i wonder if itâs because i think itâs easier for me to say those things since they donât feel heavy. i donât feel strongly attached to those things? there are subjective and objective titles. like you must consider yourself a human. thereâs no real ambiguity there... you are a human being.Â
for some reason the weight of being an artist seems heavier. itâs likely also associate it with there being an actual worthiness to the work i produce.Â
like for example, if i were to think of people i view as artists. it ... might have to do with confidence in the work they produce. and knowing thereâs value and worth in it? i sure wish i had the audacity of some kids on the internet.Â
confidence and pride can be separated. you can be confident in your work, but not proud of it (because you yourself see how you wish to improve it further). ahhh i think thatâs it.Â
at the end of the day itâs just a title. doesnât really matter to me, so long as i get to draw. i guess moreso, it was me wondering when i would feel confident in my own work. since i know iâll never be completely satisfied in it, at least i could feel confident?Â
all of it is really a mental game. at least for me. thatâs something Iâm starting to realize. that if I start overthinking, I canât draw lol. itâs literally game over?? everytime Iâve gone to my sketchbook with like some serious mindset of âOK TODAY YOU ARE GOING TO PRODUCE A MASTERPIECE THAT YOU CAN USE IN YOUR PORTFOLIOâ or something, it inevitably goes to shit. I always make better stuff when Iâm just going at it for fun... or well, as in there can be an intention (i.e. drawing animals). but if I start thinking a little (just the slightest) too hard about it then itâs ... itâs like hinata before that first practice match with Aoba Josai high school lol. need to calm the fuq down. you can just do it again tomorrow. you can draw as much as you want you can keep going, why are you putting so much pressure on yourself to make this one a perfect masterpiece? I think drawing daily makes you realize that. like ok. there are a million more drawings you can make. donât fixate...! at least right now haha. iâm sure itâs different if youâre actually working on something that matters. Â
so this is great! I have a tendency to overthink a lot of things in life. so the fact that drawing is something that I have to force myself to think a little less hard about, is a good thing.Â
not that itâs not thinking about what makes a good drawing-- thatâs sort of different. itâs moreso the thinking that what I produce has to be good. removing that is great. but then thereâs the issue of since Iâm not putting pressure on myself to make great things, I donât really have too much confidence that Iâm producing good things because I associate the production of good things with pressure??? that is probably residual mindset from academic pressure cooker days. it isnât true though right? you can casually produce great things too? hm....
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Part Nine: Side Quest
Ding-dong!
Daniel groaned, and buried his face into his pillow, just barely awake. Maybe that was just his imagination. So he could just peacefully drift back to sleep and...
Ding-dong! Ding-ding-ding-ding!
âOh my fucking god!â
It took all his effort, but he dragged himself out of bed, eyelids still heavy. The one day he wanted to sleep in, and some goddamn, piss-brained, piece of shit fuckhead had to abuse his poor doorbell and his ears. Well, he was going to give the fucker a piece of his mind.
He stomped down to the door, fists clenched at his side, and swung it open, ready to yell. But he instantly deflated as soon as he saw who it was.
Snail.
They looked pretty miffed for a second, before staring at him like they didnât even recognize who he was. After a short moment, they blinked, and intelligently said, âUhhh, are you another weird clone?â
Daniel promptly slammed the door in their face.
He was such a fucking idiot. At the very least he shouldâve gotten dressed, but no, he had to be a fucking hot-head and answer the door in his goddamn pajamas with his messed up hair. There was no way he could live this down. Theyâd seen him at something other than his best, and that was unacceptable.
Maybe he could pretend it never happened.
So he went back upstairs and made himself look half-presentable. At the very least, put on a nice suit and brushed out his hair. Then he made his way back to the door, and thankfully, Snail was still there.
Unfortunately, his rash decision to change just made the situation even worse.
âWhat the fuck was that?â they asked, glaring at him with their arms crossed. âI show up early for once and you slam the door on me?â
His face grew hot. âI have no idea what youâre talking about.â
âUh-huh, so youâre trying to tell me that wasnât you that answered the door looking like you just woke up?â Their outrage melted away into something much, much worse. They gave him that stupid Grin he hated and said, âYou look pretty cute with bedhead.â
âThat wasnât me,â he immediately responded with, even though he knew it was a terrible lie. âIt was Daniyal.â
âReally,â they said, as if asking if he was really going to stick with that. âDaniyal?â
Just then, Daniyal popped in from the kitchen. âDid someone say my name?â
Daniel turned and gave him a very pointed look. One that said you better say the right thing. âYou answered the door a minute ago, didnât you?â
Daniyal frowned. âNo? Why?â
That son of a bitch.
âDonât you have somewhere to be?â Daniel suddenly asked, teeth clenched. God, he could throttle that bumfuck bastard. âLike with Andy?â
âRight, yes! I made some soup for them, I really hope they like it.â Daniyal ducked back into kitchen for a split-second before emerging with a sealed container. After squeezing his way out the door, he said, âIâll be back later!â
As soon as he was gone, Snail gave Daniel a look. âSo, you wanna go for a different lie, or do you wanna admit that you wear Mario pajamas to bed?â
âAlright, fine!â he snapped harshly, face as red as could be. âLook, I didnât think youâd be coming over so early. Sue me.â
âWell, you always get pissed when I show up later than noon,â they said bluntly as they brushed past him. âI thought Iâd be a good boyfriend for once and show up nice and early. Didnât think you'd be taking a page from my book today.â
Daniel huffed and carelessly slammed the door shut. âI had a rough night.â
They gave him a cocky look from over their shoulder and teased, âCouldnât stop thinking about me?â
âUh-huh, sure,â he answered. Better to stroke their ego a bit than tell the truth. Then he noticed the backpack slung over their shoulder, and raised an eyebrow at them. âWhatâs that?â
They carefully set it on the couch and took a seat. âMy laptop and tablet. I said Iâd show you some of my art sometime, soâŚâ
Right. He'd almost forgotten about that. Hell, that date happened, what? A couple weeks ago? Give or take a day or two? He remembered being excited about seeing their art. And that in turn kick-started the memory of him wanting to show them Sonic and Knuckles.
âYeah, that sounds nice, actually,â he said with an earnest smile. âI have something to show you too, let me go get it real quick.â
He barely made it up three steps before he heard Snail call out, âYou should change back into your pajamas while youâre up there.â
âWhat?â he bit out, backtracking just so he could glare at them. âWhy the hell would I do that?â
They rolled their eyes. âBecause you donât need to be so formal inside your own damn house. Besides, I have to see you slip into something more comfortable eventually. So why not now?â
âYouâre not wearing pajamas,â he pointed out, ignoring the ambiguously intentional innuendo. But really, if they had shown up in their sleepwear, he wouldâve been pretty miffed, so his argument was weak.
âWell, thatâs because I know how to dress like a normal person,â they readily countered, and oddly, their comment kind of hurt. âYou donât have to try and impress me. Weâre dating, and weâve already fucked a whole bunch. Just relax for once.â
Daniel stood there for a moment, on hand gripping the banister tightly. Normal, what would their punk ass know about normal? Heâd show them.
A little while later, he came back down the stairs with his beloved Sega Genesis in hand. He heard Snailâs little hitch of breath, but pointedly ignored it in favor of getting everything set up. Plug in wires, make sure everythingâs sitting steady and all. And maybe he bent over a bit, just to show off his ass a bit. It still looked nice, and he knew it
Dusting off his hands, he brought the controller with him as he plopped himself down on the couch and pretended like Snailâs bewildered stare didn't exist.
âDo you you wanna play first?â
âYou actually own a t-shirt?â they asked, eyes not-so subtly raking him over. âAnd jeans?â
âOf course I do,â he muttered, playing up his bitterness just a bit with a side-glare. âI can dress normal.â
âYou sure can,â they agreed. Then they leaned over and began to press quick, heated kisses to his neck. âYou can also rile me up pretty good. Don't think I didn't notice what you were doing.â
A pleasant shiver ran through him, but he shoved the controller against them and said, âI was getting everything ready. So we can have a nice time playing a game together.â
They huffed and swiped the controller from him. âNot my fault you have a nice ass.â
After selecting Sonic, they stared at the TV for a solid few seconds, as if waiting for something to happen. Daniel huffed, and crossed his arms, already getting fed up with the wait.
âWell? Are you gonna play, or what?â
âHuh?â They blinked, and with a little testing, then realized that they sure as hell could move around. âOh, I was kinda expecting a cutscene or something. You know, how games usually start so you donât get lost.â
âItâs a Sonic game,â he argued, sitting back and watching them meander through the first zone. âYour only goal is to get rings, collect chaos emeralds, and go.â
âWell, I don't even know where I am!â
âAngel Island.â
âOkay, well, why am I collecting the fucking chaos emeralds again? You'd think Sonic would be able to hold onto the damn things.â
âDoes it matter? Just shut up and play the damn game.â
Suddenly, the controller found itself in his hands as Snail huffed out, âYouâre the video game expert here, you play it!â
âFine!â
Not surprisingly, they spent more time griping than actually getting through the level. But that was fine. Daniel thankfully knew it like the back of his hand, and quickly found his way to the first bonus stage. Not his favorite, but he got through it just fine. Especially since the really important part was coming up soon.
Get the blue spheres!
From there, pure instinct took over. Right, right, right, right, get the rings, go straight, jump, left, left, left, left. For a moment he was taken back to when he was just fifteen years old, playing this game for the first time after school.
He just barely registered Snail speaking.
âHoly shit, youâre really in the zone right now, huh?â
âHm?â Snapping out of his daze a bit, he managed to answer, âOh, yeah. Iâve played this game a lot. Not usually on itâs own like this, butâŚâ
Snail shifted. âOn itâs own? The hell does that mean?â
âThereâs a way to combine the cartridge with the one for Sonic 3.â Despite being engrossed in what he was doing, he liked answering their question and educating them. âSome sort of lock-on thing. I think it also works with Sonic 2.â
âWhatâs the point in doing that?â
Things followed a pattern from there. Snail would ask questions about some aspect of the game, and Daniel would answer while half-zoned out. He couldnât see their face, obviously, but he could hear as each word from their mouth became more enthusiastic and interested than the last. Time seemed meaningless, and it just kinda slipped away. The only thing even showing its passage was each stage that Daniel cleared.
It was really nice to just relax with Snail like this for once.
Soon, he was at the last stage, flying through space as Super Sonic while Snail cheered him on. Their encouragements fueled him, and his heart stopped every time he crashed into something. Câmon, he was so close, he couldnât fail now! Not in front of Snail!
Time stopped. Heâd done it. The Master Emerald was saved, and he could relax. While the final cinematic played, he let out a deep sigh and set the controller down. The biggest grin slipped onto his face as a wave of joy washed over him. There was almost nothing more satisfying than beating a game.
âThat was something,â Snail said, tone unreadable. But there was a smile on their face, so that had to be good, right? âI canât believe how fast you went through all that.â
He shrugged in an attempt to play humble, but it didnât work out so well. âI mean, thatâs what Sonicâs about right?â After a second, his smile turned a bit more sheepish. âSorry you didnât get to play though.â
They waved him off. âI liked watching you, donât worry about it. Besides, youâre really cute when youâre all into it.â
That certainly made him blush. To distract himself, he offered the controller to them, âThereâs still Knucklesâ route if you wanna play.â
âAs nice as that sounds, I think Iâm kinda, uh, gamed out,â they said right before pulling their laptop from the backpack. âI wanna show you my art now, if you donât mind.â
Honestly, heâd never thought about how digital artists did their thing. So when Snail showed him all the pieces theyâve done for different clients- or even just for fun- he was kind of blown away. There were all sorts of things, and they were all pleasing to the eye. Really, it was almost hard to believe that Snail could do all this.
âSo people just pay you to draw for them?â he asked while they scrolled through their folder. âHow does that work?â
âWell, they tell me what they want me to do and I give them a price. Itâs not, like, and hourly wage kinda thing,â they answered, a small frown on their face. âIt kinda sucks, but you know. Not nearly as much as it did when I first started off.â
He only nodded, not knowing what to say.
After a moment, they huffed. âWant me to draw you something real quick?â
It took him a second to register what they had asked. âUh, are you sure? You usually get paid for that.â
They snorted and opened up some program on their laptop. âWell, you just spent two hours talking nerd at me, which you usually get paid for. Besides, I just need to warm up a bit. Won't be some big thing.â
His eyes glanced over to that TV, where the credits were just ending. âAlright, well, mind drawing Sonic?â
The look they gave him was almost taunting. âYou really are a nerd.â
âShut up.â
Seeing them draw was definitely a new experience. The tablet was certainly something strange to behold. His brain couldn't quite handle the disconnect between their swooping hand motions and the curves appearing on the screen. Almost as if it was some kind of black magic. Or maybe he was just old.
As if.
It surprised him when part of the way through, they pulled a picture of Sonic up. âWhatâs that for?â
âReference,â they answered, eyebrows furrowed together with focus. âCan't pull him outta my ass. Besides, I need to get the right colors.â
âRight, right.â
Like he knew. Hell, the last time he seriously drew anything was when he was eight years old doing Inky for all of his school art projects. Since then itâd just been doodles in the margins of notes, tests, and then scripts.
While they worked, he asked the occasional question. Why are they redrawing over their old lines? How do they get the right colors? Thankfully, they didn't find it annoying and readily answered him just as he did for them earlier.
Eventually, he found himself leaned against them, eyes half-drooped while they colored. For once, he didn't feel all that on edge. Like he could just breath and be without anything coming in and ruining that.
âAnd⌠Done!â
He blinked several times. Sure enough, there was a smirking Sonic giving him a thumbs up right before his eyes.
âCute,â he mumbled, sitting up and stretching to wake himself a bit. âI like it.â
âGood, good,â they said as they set the laptop on the coffee table, their voice having a bit of a sly edge to it. Hooking their arm around his waist, they continued, âYou know, I think I've changed my mind. I do need a little payment for that drawing.â
Since he wasnât a dumbass, he quickly caught onto their little game. But heâd play coy anyway, just for the hell of it.
âOh yeah?â he asked, glancing over at them with a neutral look. âName your price.â
They leaned in close, cheeks just a tad pink, and said, âA kiss.â
Wow. To think, this was the same person that would easily pin him down and tell him how hard they were gonna fuck his brains out. Getting flustered over demanding a simple kiss. It was so contradictory, yet so them.
Letting out a deep sigh, as if this was the most demanding task they could ever ask of him, he said, âWell, I guess I could do that for you. Since you did a pretty okay job.â
For a second, they looked offended, but he shut them up before they could get a word out by planting a sweet kiss right on their lips. With a low hum they reciprocated it, pulling him close so the two of them were flush against each other. The warmth and closeness had him wishing that little moment could last forever. Sadly, like every other good thing, it had to come to an end.
âGuess thatâll cover it,â Snail teased, eyes alit with joy. âNext time, though, donât be a dick before you pay me.â
âDuly noted.â
A long moment passed where they just sat there, almost entwined with each other. Daniel could feel the slow rhythm of their breathing. Despite the sun still being high in the sky, he felt cozy enough to fall asleep right then and there. But an urge to say something hit him. So he did.
âThanks for coming over,â he half-whispered. His heart pounded the word vulnerable into his chest. And he sure as hell was. âI like just hanging out like this. Itâs nice.â
âPlease, I come over all the time, you donât need to thank me,â they said, sounding half-asleep. âJust keep getting me snacks and itâs all good.â
Prick. Still, that wasnât too big of a demand. If they could keep having moments like this, then he wouldnât complain.
Three little words filled his mouth with sweetness. Instead of letting them fly free, he swallowed them down. Was it too soon? He didnât know. But that wasnât a risk he was willing to take.
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FiancĂŠe Observation Record c1
Index | Next â
T/N:
So, the title of this WN is a bit ambiguous. It seems to be using âSelf-Proclaimed Villainessâ as an adjective when normally you would expect it to be a noun in this situation. Personally, because itâs being treated as an adjective even if itâs weird, I am going to interpret it as observing the fiancĂŠe in question rather than as the fiancĂŠâs observation record.
Iâll update it if necessary if itâs ever made clear in the story, but I donât believe it is.Â
Chapter 1: Bertia, Age 8
I, Cecil Grau Alfaster, the first and crown prince of the Kingdom of Alfaster, met my fiancĂŠe for the first time when I was ten.
Lady Bertia Ibil Noches, a Marquisâ daughter.
She had crimson hair and amber eyes. She was fair-skinned and slightly plump⌠actually, let me honest here. With notable characteristics like her fluffed-up dress and her snowman-like fat round body, she was a pig â I mean girl â from the prime ministerâs house.
She was two years younger than me. After we met each other for the first time with my father, the king, and her father, the prime minister, in attendance, we headed out to the garden. She then immediately said the following.
âPrince Cecil! I am a noble girl villainess! My role, after I start school at Halm Academy, is to break apart your relationship with a heroine you meet, then in the end have my engagement annulled and be put in my place!â
She shoves her finger in my face decisively and glares at me sharply.
Hm. I donât get it.
Her personal maids that had come along with her are paling⌠actually, let me amend that. Their expressions are more along the lines of âOh dear. She did it after all,â like they expected this to happen.
âHowever, it would injure my pride as a Marquisâ daughter to be in an unsightly state, even if itâs to help you two grow closer! And so, I have decided. I will become a first class flower of evil! And so, your Highness, please become a gentleman so lovely that I wonât mind being put in my place by you!â
What should I do? I honestly donât understand what sheâs saying at all. Could this be because Iâm still an immature child?
⌠Doesnât seem like it. My attendantsâ jaws have dropped open as they blink rapidly, after all.
Ah, but for nowâŚ
âLady Bertia, standing around chatting is rather gauche. Shall we go sit and have tea while we talk?â
I smile sweetly and hold a hand out to her, deciding to invite her to a table where tea has already been prepared for us.
Though Iâm still a child, I am someone who will eventually be responsible for an entire kingdom.
Letâs begin by calmly cleaning up this mess.
Father always says that when youâre in trouble, itâs important to take a breath and calm down before dealing with the problem after all.
â⌠Y- yes, youâre right.â
Lady Bertia, looking rather bewildered at my words judging from her rapid blinking, obediently lets herself be escorted to the tea table. Perhaps she lost steam because of my calm attitude.
âPrince Cecil, arenât you a little too composed considering your age? Have you perhaps reincarnated?â
After taking a sip from a nice-smelling cup of black tea, Lady Bertia looks at me searchingly. She has a dollop of cream on her cheek from a cake â from a popular bakery â that had been brought out along with the tea.
⌠Could my fiancĂŠe have forgotten that Iâm royalty?
Itâs not like weâre old friends or anything â I think sheâs acting a little too casual.
Well, this is good too since itâs more interesting than her being all weirdly nervous and tensing up.
âI donât know what you mean by âreincarnatedâ, but if you think that Iâm composed for my age, thatâs probably because Iâm royalty, no? Royalty is taught to conduct themselves like that from a young age. Itâs natural,â I respond, my smile not fading.
âIs that so?â she asks back, but she seems to accept my explanation even as she cocks her head to the side.
⌠Behind me, my naggy personal attendant Zeno is shaking his head. He always says things like âEven putting aside that youâre royalty, your Highness, you look at things too long term,â and âLetâs do some more childlike things!â and âI think childlike cuteness is important as well at your age!â. But I decided to ignore him.
âAlright then, now that weâve calmed down a little, could you explain the things you were saying earlier in a way Iâll understand? About the phrases like ânoble girl villainessâ, âheroineâ, âannulling the engagementâ, and âbeing put in your placeâ,â I ask, requesting a more detailed explanation the moment she reaches out for a second cake.
⌠Itâs not like I care or anything, but even considering their relationship as master and servant, arenât her maids being a bit too lenient with her?
In regards to her manners in front of royalty and the amount sheâs eating.
âYes, of course! I need you to become someone worthy of rejecting me after understanding my story fully after all, your Highness!â
Lady Bertia grips her fork tightly and looks at me seriously.
It seems like she hasnât realized that no matter how serious she looks, she wonât be taken seriously with cream stuck around her mouth.
⌠It seems like Iâve overestimated my own power up until now.
Itâs a bit embarrassing to admit, but I always thought that I was fairly intelligent in comparison to other children my age.
My enrollment to Halm Academy, where many nobles of similar age gather, has already been decided, but thatâs mainly to increase my circle of influence and to learn how to interact with others as royalty. Iâve already learned everything there is to learn on an academic level at Halm Academy.
I had really thought that as a ten-year-old whoâs already learned up to an eighteen-year-old level that I could say that I was pretty smart.
But, how could this be? I cannot understand what this eight-year-old girl is saying in the slightest.
Even considering that sheâs terrible at explanations, I still canât understand.
âWhat Iâm saying is that your Highness, youâre going to meet this noble lady and be drawn to her innocent nature, eventually falling in love! Seeing your relationship, I become green with envy and start bullying that noble girl. After learning about this, you become furious and annul our engagement. This kicks off a chain of events that ends with the ruin of my family!â
Her passionate words are apparently all about âstuff that will happen in the futureâ.
And apparently she had her⌠previous lifeâs memories?... or something, and in those memories she saw⌠a novel that appeared with moving pictures?... that talked all about what was going to happen in the future.
Apparently there was also more⌠nitty gritty details?... or something, but she decided just to tell me the broad strokes today.
To be honest, I canât imagine that Iâd annul an engagement with so many strong political reasons behind it because I went crazy with love or whatever, and at least at the moment, I really canât imagine the noble girl in front of me becoming green with envy.
Thereâs so many holes in her story that my headâs in a bit of a jumble.
The time set aside today was just to âsee my fiancĂŠe face-to-faceâ, so my tea-time with her is drawing to a close. And anyways, if she gives me any more new information, even I wonât be able to parse through it all.
Ah, but there is one thing I want to double-check.
âLady Bertia, could I ask just one question?â
âYou can ask as many as you want. Iâve been waiting for this day where I tell you everything since my memories returned after all!â
I almost smile wryly at her words, considering that they were said right before we had to part.
To be honest, I donât care if sheâs just a bit delusional or she really has the power to see the future.
All I care about isâŚ
âWhat kind of person would this âfirst class flower of evilâ you mentioned be?â
⌠this. This is the most important thing.
From this day on, she has technically become my fiancĂŠe.
As sheâs become my fiancĂŠe, in the future, she will become the Queen.
Ignoring the strange existence of this âheroineâ, if being this âflower of evilâ she mentioned means she isnât suited towards being a Queen, Iâll need to trai â I mean, lead her onto the correct path early-on. If that seems impossible, Iâll need to consult with Father as soon as possible about breaking things off.
After all, I will be King in the future.
âThatâs obvious! Sheâs strong, dignified, and beautiful! Sheâs someone who makes her own path in life no matter what anyone says. Even if that path leads to ruin, she walks along it with no hesitation â a flower of evil! Iâm going to become someone like that!â
âStrong, dignified, and beautiful⌠I see.â
Let me apologize.
At that moment, I casually looked down at her stomach.
I had been a bit curious about what she thought about her own appearance, but she apparently hadnât noticed it at all⌠well, I wonât be too harsh since I donât intend to explicitly berate her.
I did think that it was bad to look there with this timing considering what we were talking about, so I immediately looked back up at her face and smiled.
But it was too late.
She realized what I had been looking at.
And having realized, her face goes bright red.
âI â itâs not like that! Lady Bertia, Marquisâ daughter, is an underdog-type character so her appearance is kind of questionable.â
ââUnderdogâ? That seems⌠like a sad existence. Are you alright with that?â
âN â no Iâm not! Thatâs Bertiaâs story â Iâm⌠Iâm⌠Iâm not just Lady Bertia! I am myself! I will reach greater heights⌠I will become a more pure and good flower of evil!â
Is she losing control of herself?
I really feel like a pure and good flower of evil is an oxymoron, but it looks like she hasnât realized this at all.
Bright red from head to toe, she stands up with a clatter.
âY â your Highness. I will improve myself before coming again! I will take my leave now! Good day!â
She bows hurriedly and runs out before I could even think about stopping her. Afterwards, following their masterâs lead, her maids bow hurriedly and leave as well.
I stared after her blankly until I couldnât see her anymore.
â⌠What was with her?â I murmur.
âYour Highness, what will you do?â asks Zeno in response to my murmur.
His question didnât mention about what I was going to do, but heâs probably talking about my engagement with her.
As royal marriages are usually arranged for political reasons, I wonât be able to do something about it immediately. But if I talk about how she acted today to my father, even if it took time, I would probably be able to bring up the topic of annulment using her âunsuited personality to be a Queenâ as the reasoning.
ButâŚ
âSheâs kind of interesting, isnât she? And even though sheâs of noble birth, she isnât weirdly warped or twisted. Sheâs straightforward so sheâs probably easy to control⌠Iâll just observe her, she seems like sheâll be fun for a while.â
Somehow, Iâm having fun for the first time in a while.
Itâs not like Iâve fallen for her in a romantic sense or anything, but how should I put it⌠dumb kids are cute? Iâve found a new toy?
⌠I donât really get it myself, but I am feeling more excited than Iâve ever felt before.
Generally, I can do anything if I try it once, so the world is rather boring to me.
Iâve almost never felt that feeling of satisfaction on successfully completing something that all the other kids have. My world has always seemed a bit dull and washed out to me.
But after meeting her today, my world has definitely become brighter.
This feeling of not knowing whatâs going to happen uplifts my spirits.
âHeh hehâŚâ
Before I realize it, Iâm smiling naturally.
This is a very rare occurrence for someone like me whoâs used to smiles being something you force onto your face.
âYour Highness, you look like youâre having fun.â
âYes, Iâm thinking that this feeling of uncertainty isnât bad. It uplifts my spirits.â
â⌠Youâre free to have fun, but couldnât you have fun in a more childlike way?â
âBut I am having some innocent fun, just like a child?â
â⌠Oh, right. You left behind your childishness in her Majesty the Queenâs womb. I apologize for asking for the impossible.â
âYou really always say the rudest things. Well, I donât mind. Iâll let it go since Iâm in a really good mood right now.â
âThank you very much.â
After glancing at Zeno, who lowers his head with a displeased expression, I turn my gaze back towards the direction she left in.
Just how much fun will she let me have, this girl whoâs become my fiancĂŠe?
âDonât let me down, okay?â I say quietly despite no longer being able to even see her.
I turn my head towards the sky and close my eyes.
T/N:
This was someoneâs request I took on since this storyâs short anyway - only 19 chapters including the extras - and appears to be abandoned. I plan to release a chapter a week from now on every Thursday (not including this week).
edit: Due to requests to start translating the newer chapters but my lack of motivation to start in the middle ^^; I will instead translate 2 - 8 within the next two weeks and post Ch. 9 during the first week of August, at which point I will begin releasing a chapter every week.Â
Index | Next â
#An Observation Record of my FiancĂŠe - A Self-Proclaimed Villainess#FiancĂŠe Observation Record#web novel
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BG 4, 12, and 43?
[Uncommon Questions]
Writer questions:
B) What inspired you to create them?
The answer to this is actually really simple: I wanted to make a monsterperson. Beyond that thereâs a lot of individual influences & inspirations for what I made of that general outline, and a lot of them I only really realized after I made him. Also a shout out to @natharaiebonrook, who provided much encouragement and soundboarding.Â
Thanks G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?
Hm. I donât know that any trait Masek has particularly bothers me? I did make the character, after all, and this is a fun and casual pastime. That said, his quiet/paranoid personality makes me work for reasons to involve him in things (which I usually donât mind). And - writing his problems with panic/anxiety. I have anxiety. I do not have panic attacks (or at least not the way Masek has them). So I am always a little worried about how well I do with that.
Character questions:
4. How easy is it to earn their trust?
Simultaneously a lot harder and a lot easier than one might expect? Masek responds well to genuine kindness, or really just⌠people being decent human beings at all, honestly. That generally confers some level of trust. It does not confer an immunity to Masekâs paranoid second-guessing.
A trust that might make him willing to share his secrets is something else altogether. While a few people know, now, some degree of what it is heâs hiding, itâs generally only in been discussed situations where some explanation was absolutely necessary.
12. How do they deal with an itch found in a place they canât quite reach?
Most likely, heâd strive to ignore it. Masek is an old pro at ignoring physical discomfort.
43. If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?Â
âIrrelevant.â
Honestly, though, Masek would respond with ambiguity and misdirection in most cases. If he were inclined to be more honest, one might get a shrug. The most honest answer would be an elaboration on the above: In Masekâs mind it is irrelevant because itâs not a thing he gets to have.
That being said, I donât think heâs ace? There are absolutely people Masek considers pretty, though he seems to think this is an entirely objective judgement.
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Kimi ni Todoke Chapter 117 Translation
Thank you @rosemask22 for posting images from the chapter!Â
Once again, Iâm not fluent, nor am I pretending my knowledge of Japanese is extensive. There will definitely be mistakes in here, and there were a few lines I just couldnât wrap my brain around. Some of the translations are fairly liberal, others are kind of stilted. That said, if you want to get a feel for whatâs being said on each page, I hope this will help!
Itâs pretty long, so if you would rather read something more concise, @lalasma did an awesome translation of the Chapter 117 summary!
The format goes something like this:
Speaker: âDialogueâ
Speaker: (Thought)
Page numbers do not match the page numbers on the scans.
Letâs go to Pinâs apartment, shall we?
COVER: Ayane leans in towards Pin, eyes closed and waiting for a kiss. Pin leans to the side, towards her, but with one eye open.
PAGE 1:
At the door to his apartment, Pin and Ayane silently stare at each other (continuing directly from the end of Chapter 116). Pin opens his mouth and begins to say, ââŚyouâŚâ
PAGE 2:
Suddenly Pin begins to sneeze violently.
Pin: âShut the door!! I just got out of the bath â Iâll catch a cold!! Itâs freezing!!
Ayane: âAh! Right, sorry!!â
The door slams shut behind them. Standing in the entryway, Pin rubs his head with the towel around his neck.
Pin: âI was just drying my hairâŚâ
Ayaneâs heart is beating fast. Pin turns to look at her.
PAGE 3:
Pin and Ayane stand in a tense silence. Finally, Pin says, âWell, come on in!â
Pin frantically shows off his room, offering her a place to sit at his coffee table (the only place to sit, because the floor is covered in trash bags).
Pin: âYouâre in luck! I actually just did a ton of cleaning recently!! How is it?âÂ
Ayane: âHuh? HereâŚ?!â
He then goes to the kitchen. He asks her what she wants to drink with rapid-fire questions before deciding coffee is okay.
Pin: âYou want something to drink? What do you want? Coffee is fine, right!!!â
Ayane stands in the entryway, nervous and blushing.
PAGE 4:
Ayane has taken off her boots, and steps up into Pinâs apartment.
Ayane: âP-Pardon myâŚintrusionâŚâ [The phrase she uses is the typical greeting when you enter someone elseâs home: ăéŞéăăžă]
Ayane sits at the coffee table and removes her coat. Looking around her, she realizes that there are new things in the apartment, including a new T.V.
Ayane: (âŚI didnât think heâd let me come insideâŚ)
Pin enters the room with their coffee. He gently places one of the mugs in front of Ayane.
PAGE 5:
Pin sits across from her with a thud. Ayane stares at the warm cup of coffee.
Ayane: âThâŚThank youâŚOh! Your hair! You need to dryâŚâ
Pin suddenly interrupts her.
Pin: âItâs fine!â
Ayane: âHuh? ButâŚyouâll catch a â â
Pin: âJust drink it! Drink it, drink it!!â
Ayane: âWhat?â
Pin: âIâll be fine, so drink it!!!â
Ayane quickly takes a drink (even though itâs hot).
PAGE 6:
As she drinks the coffee, Pin looks down.
Pin: ââŚyou came to tell me, right?â
Ayaneâs eyes widen in surprise.
Ayane: (Huh�)
Pin says nothing, but releases a sigh.
PAGE 7:
Pin runs a hand through his wet hair.
Pin: ââŚthat isâŚâ
Ayane: (What is this? Could it be�)
Pin: âYouâre still young, you know.â
Ayane stares at him, surprised.
Pin: âYou have a future.â
Ayane: (âŚIs he rejecting meâŚ?)
PAGE 8:
Pin scratches his head.
Pin: âWellâŚhow should I put thisâŚ?â
Ayane: (This isnât like him. GentlyâŚ?) ** [Not sure exactly what sheâs saying, but she notes that heâs out of character because heâs being pretty gentle / mild.]
Pin suddenly pounds his fist on the table.
Pin: âThereâs always next time!!â
Ayane: âUhâŚUhâŚWaitâŚWai â â
Pin: âFace forward!!â
Ayane: âWAIT!!!â
Ayane tears up.
Ayane: (âŚI havenâtâŚ)
PAGE 9:
Ayane begins to cry.
Ayane: (âŚeven said anything yet!)
Ayane: âPlease wait ~~!â
Pin panics when she starts to cry.
Pin: âDRINK!! Itâs okay to drink, so drink!!!â
Ayane quickly drinks the coffee, and Pin moves closer to her.
Pin: âWhatâs one or two failures?! They wonât kill you!! You really did your best!!â
PAGE 10:
Ayane: ââŚI havenât done my bestâŚâ
Her crying intensifies.
Ayane: âI havenât done my best!! Not yet!!â
Pin changes direction.
Pin: âOh?! Oh really??! Well, aiming higher isnât a bad thing! In that case, try harder!!! Are you going to give up and go somewhere else?!â
Ayane: (Give up and go somewhere else�?)
Pin: âOr will you take a gap year and try again??!â
Ayane suddenly realizes that Pin has been talking about her exam results the entire time.
Pin and Ayane: âHuh?â
PAGE 11:
Pin: âNo, youâŚyou failed the university examâŚright? The results were released today, werenât they?â
Ayane: âOh. Oh!!!!â
Pin: âOh??!â
Ayane: ââŚI passedâŚâ
Pin makes a terrifying face.
Pin: âWHATâŚDID YOU SAY?!?! You say you passed! So it was a success? You were successful??!â
Ayane nervously replies: âYes.â
Pin: âThereâs no mistakeâŚyou passed??!â
Ayane: âYes!!â
PAGE 12:
Ayane: âI passed at my first choice.â
Ayane stares up at Pin with tears in her eyes, and he glares at her, speechless.
Pin: âYâŚYou â !!! HaâŚhaaâŚâ
PAGE 13:
Pin: âYou sure took your sweet time!! Youâre late!!â
Ayane: âIâm r-r-really sorry!â
Pin: âHow long do you think I wait â â
He suddenly stops, like heâs said more than he meant to.
Pin: ââŚâ
Ayane: ââŚyouâŚwere waiting?â
Pin tries to retract the information.
Pin: âNo, I wasnât waiting at all.â
But Ayane presses forward.
Ayane: âYou were waiting! Werenât you??!â
Pin slams his palms on the table.
Pin: âI WAS WAITING!!â
PAGE 14:
Pin: âAll day today!! The whole time!!! I was waiting for you to come!!!â
Ayaneâs eyes widen.
Pin: ââYouâre not comingâŚââ
PAGE 15:
Pin: âââŚyou failed,â I thought. [I could see you looked anxious.]** Well, I was thinking that you had a 50-50 chance.â [Not sure about the first two sentences honestly, Iâm sorry!]
Pin: âRight. You passed, huh?â
Ayane: (âŚhe was worrying. He was waitingâŚfor meâŚ)
Pin: âGeez!! Teaching is a thankless / unrewarding profession!! Anyway, Yano!!â
PAGE 16:
Ayane starts to cry again. Pin is taken aback, and then smiles fondly at her.
Pin: ââŚdonât cry. Itâs a happy occasion.â
He grabs his mug.
Pin: âHey, hold out your cup! Come on!!â
Ayane: âO-Oh.â
Pin clinks their cups together.
Pin: âCheers!! You did it!!â
PAGE 17:
Ayane beams up at him, saying, âI did.â
Pin is overwhelmed by her expression. Suddenly he gets to his feet.
Pin: ââŚyouâre too upfront with your feelings, itâs grossing me out!! Iâm going to dry my hair after all!! Not being able to attend the graduation ceremony would be no laughing matter!!!â
He leaves the room to go dry his hair.
Ayane: (Itâs not gross!!!)
She looks at her school bag.
PAGE 18:
She takes the box of chocolates out of her bag.
Ayane: (ChocolateâŚ)
She stares at it, then quickly hides it as she turns to look in the direction of the blow dryer sounds.
Ayane: (He said, âItâs gross.â In the end, giving them would beâŚ)
(âDo your best!â)
Suddenly she remembers the encouraging words of her friends.
PAGE 19:
(âAyane-chan, do your bestâŚ!!)
Ayane: (Right. Yeah. Iâm fineâŚIâll do my best. I did my best on the exam, right? I was able to come here, rightâŚ?)
PAGE 20:
Ayane places the box of chocolates beside Pinâs mug.
Ayane: (I really gave it my all, right?)
Pin returns to the room wearing a jacket.
Pin: âPhew! All dry!â
He notices the box.
Pin: âWhatâs this?â
PAGE 21:
Sitting across from each other at the coffee table, Ayane asks Pin if he knows what day it is.Â
Ayane: âTodayâŚdo you knowâŚwhat day it is?â
Pin: âWhat day it isâŚ? Itâs the day your exam results are announcedâŚâ
Ayane: âItâsâŚValentineâs Day!!â
Pin: âVaâŚOh!! Now that you mention it, I didnât get a single one!!!â
Ayane: âThat one!! Iâm giving it!! To you, Pin!!â
PAGE 22:
Ayane: ââŚitâs not obligatory chocâŚâ
Tears form in her eyes, and she canât speak.
Pin: âHeyâŚyou shouldnât say it.â
Ayane covers her mouth in shock.
PAGE 23:
Ayane: (âŚhe knowsâŚ? He knewâŚmy feelingsâŚ?)
Ayaneâs resolve is unexpectedly strengthened.
Ayane: âEven you said it, Pin!! People who tried their hardest can get back on their feet! You said that!!â
PAGE 24:
Ayane: ââŚIâŚlove you, Pin!!â
PAGE 25:
Ayane: âI donât care! I donât know what I should do!! I just love you!! Thatâs it!! Those chocolates too! They took a lot of courage! I thought about not giving them to you, but in the end, I did!!â
PAGE 26:
Ayane: âIt took more courage than when I decided to try for my first-choice university!! Theyâre from the convenience storeâŚbutâŚyouâre free to accept them or notâŚâ
Pin unties the ribbon on the box and pops a chocolate into his mouth.
PAGE 27:
Pin: ââŚthese go well with coffeeâŚtastes good.â
After eating all the chocolates in the box, Pin silently stares at Ayane.
PAGE 28:
Ayane nervously waits for him to say something. Finally, Pin smiles.
PAGE 29:
Pin beams at her across the table.
ââŚyouâre 10 years too early! Sorry, but youâre out of range!â** [I feel like this is supposed to be an ambiguous line â it could mean age, or it could mean their difference in statusâŚ]
PAGE 30:
Ayane: (OhâŚI was rejectedâŚ)
Ayane: âIn ten years, I would be 27 or 28!â
Pin: âAt that time, 27 or 28 might seem like a kid to meâŚâ
Ayane: âYouâll be single at 37?!â
Pin: âDonât just decide things like that!! Hey!!â
Ayane: âFor example, even if I took my clothes off here and nowâŚ?â
Pin: âThatâs obscene!! Donât take them off!! Youâre not taking them off?!â
Ayane: âIâm not taking them off!!â
Ayane smiles and laughs with tears in her eyes.
Ayane: âSo it is hopeless after all!! Hahahaha!â
Ayane: (ChizuâŚSawakoâŚ!! My love was unrequited!!)
Ayane: âWhen did you notice?â
Pin: âThat time you said, âIâm not a kid.ââ
Ayane: âNo way! Thatâs unfair! Pretending you didnât know!â
[Iâm not entirely sure what Pin says in reply â Iâm sorry!]
PAGE 31:
Ayane: (âŚI was rejectedâŚ)
Ayane: âCan I just ask you one question?â
Pin: âHm?â
Ayane: âNot as a studentâŚbutâŚas myselfâŚ! Even one time, even a little, did you think I was cuteâŚ?â
PAGE 32:
Pin taps her lightly on the head.
Pin: âNo way!!â
Ayane touches her head and smiles.
Ayane: (âŚitâs a complete rejection!)
PAGE 33:
Ayane: ââŚI get it! Iâm going home!â
Pin: âRight. Be careful.���
Ayane: âYeah.â
Pin: âDonât catch a cold.â
Ayane: âYeah! Excuse me for intruding!!â
Pin throws the bag with the eraser at Ayaneâs head.
Pin: âYou forgot something.â
Ayane: âOuch!â
Pin picks up the bag.
PAGE 34:
He hands her the bag, and she remembers her request for an eraser at New Yearâs.
Pin: ââŚthatâs a bonus. [As a congratulatory gift, Iâm going to praise you!]â
PAGE 35:
Pin: âYouâre a kind person. You can get angry, feel down, and smile for other people. Before, you gave me candy. Because after the school festival, I was the only one who didnât get any.â
Ayane: ââŚohâŚâ
Pin: ââŚI was happy. You are kind. You can have confidence in yourself.â
PAGE 36:
Pin: âIn this one year, you exceeded your limits and really did your best! Not in your academic capabilities, but in expressing your feelings. Remember, from now on, youâre going to be okay! Even if you make mistakes! IâŚâ
PAGE 37:
Pin: âI have faith in you! Donât worry! Youâre going to be fine!!â
PAGE 38:
Pin: âYanoâŚcongratulations on passing the exam.â
Ayane: ââŚthank you. Sensei!â
PAGE 39:
Ayane remembers Pin telling her that he waited all day for her.
Ayane: (âŚthinking that I failed, he encouraged meâŚeven though he doesnât like sweet things, he ate all of the chocolateâŚ)
PAGE 40:
Ayane remembers him telling her that he has faith in her.
Ayane: (âŚyeahâŚ)
She opens the cough drop that Pin gave her last year for White Day and puts it in her mouth.
Ayane: (YeahâŚ)
PAGES 41 and 42:
Ayane: (âŚIâve challenged the impregnable twice. I really did do my best. SayâŚin 10 years, even if itâs not in love, I wonder if Iâll become a good woman? I want to become an adult that Pin wouldnât be ashamed of. Will I get used to it?)
PAGE 43:
She remembers Pin telling her not to worry, that sheâll be okay.
PAGE 44:
She remembers him saying that she can have confidence in herself.
Ayane: ââŚyeah. Yes. Surely IâllâŚbe okay.âÂ
#kimi ni todoke#ayapin#kimi ni todoke spoilers#chamomilehoneytea#i have so many thoughts...#keep believing ayapinners
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Zarek made a new best friend? Youâll have to see it to believe it -Censored-
(After Campaign 39
London
It wasn't too long before London and Pawo returned from the watchtower staircase after their talk with Mars. London entered heaving a sigh. "It still feels so early. Now what am I going to do?" He glanced to the window to acknowledge this watchtower was the most interesting thing in the area. Which is to say, there is not much to look at.
Zarek
Zarek rolled in his bed a bit to look at london enter the room. He wasn't having the best night trying to sleep really so any kind of distraction would be good for now. Since London didn't look like he was going to go to sleep anytime soon he decided it wouldn't be a bad idea to get out of bed. And so he did.
London
"You're up?" This guy headed to bed so fast, it was kind of a surprise. People who wake up early are so mysterious.
Zarek
Zarek looks back at his own bed, like there could be a second zarek sleeping in instead. "You really want an answer to that?" he kept going before london replied "What are you up to though?"
London
"You're always asleep by 10 and awake at 6, I never thought I'd see you awake at this hour." He grinned. This hour was only 11. London wasn't really aware of Zarek's actual sleeping schedule so he just made up numbers off the top of his head. All he knew for sure was Zarek went to bed earlier and woke up earlier. "I've got nothing much to do. Just finished talking to Mars. Want to hang out?"
Zarek
Zarek frowned a bit. "You're a bit off but not enough for me to have a good comeback." He stretched a bit "Well, I didn't have much luck sleeping so... sounds like a good idea."
London
London started walking towards the door proudly and spoke in a now quieter voice remembering there were people who were still trying to sleep. "Let's head outside then." Talking at the top of the watchtower sounded cool, but it would be weird to head back in just after he just left. He'll just do the next best thing and talk by the watchtower.
Zarek
Zarek nodded and followed London outside.
London
Outside London walked a bit of a distance and then turned around to pace back a couple more steps just to admire the structure. "When we entered here, I noticed there was stain glass at the top. That's got to look really cool with the lights on huh?" Not very useful for a watchtower, though.
Zarek
"Huh really?" Zarek turned back to look at the watchtower but wasn't really able to make out any good details when it was already so dark. "Hmm, guess I'll take your word for it. Can't see much right now."
London
"It's probably easier to see from a distance. Doesn't really help looking up at the thing from the base. So, um, did you have anything you want to do, or is just talking alright with you?"
Zarek
Zarek turns to look at London "Sleep." then he smiles "having some time to talk sounds really good though. anything in mind?"
London
"Hm, not really.." Despite saying this, London glanced away with a totally fake-looking smile.
Zarek
Zarek's expression changes into something more serious/worried, hesitating to speak "Actually, I've been meaning to ask you something. But I guess it's okay if you don't want to answer it's really just me being nosy."
London
"Huh? What is it? I don't mind." He grew excited by the thought, "Just know this is an open invitation for me to be nosy, too."
London
"If it weren't for you, Caila would be all alone right now. I won't deny that I didn't trust her even after she revealed her real name. Most of the others had the same sentiment. I think you were the only one to push to keep going despite all of the ambiguities and manage to hold the team together. So whatever your reason is for doing this, I think it is an honorable one. You really stand for what a knight is supposed to be. Or that's what I'd like to imagine, anyway." He leaned back after talking and studied the city to wonder how deep a regular knight's herd mentality might run. [...]
Zarek
Zarek laughs and pushes london's shoulder a bit. "Come on, can you even say she would be alone after we saw the numbers the resistance has." he lets out another small sigh "An honorable reason to keep doing this huh... I don't know, I think my reason might be a bit lame."
London
"O-oh yeah, I forgot about them. Well, who's to say they'll be able to accomplish anything on their own anyway?" Giving pep talks was hard, how was Zarek able to do this sort of thing so casually before? "You said the reason to keep going was just because we know the books said helping the crystal was a good thing.. But was there another reason actually? I'm curious."
Zarek
Zarek looks at london to answer his question. But then turns his gaze away. "I mean, I do believe it's the right thing to do. Even if now it's more complicated than that, and I even see why Phalanx is doing their best too." then he turns back to make eye contact with London "But honestly, I don't have anything better to do... staying as a group is safer too."
London
London almost fell off balance at how underwhelming the actual answer was, "So you were really just travelling with nowhere to go before you met the group, too, huh?"
Zarek
"Basically. Aimless, bored, and certainly not as experienced with actual fighting. They certainly weren't the easiest years of my life I guess."
London
"So soldier school didn't teach you much? I guess you really didn't stick around for long, huh?" He crossed his arms realizing he was getting a little sidetracked. "Well, in any case, I think what you did do turned out to be the right thing in the long run. Even if there wasn't much to it at the start. That's what should count, I guess."
Zarek
"I mean it did. But there's no perfect substitute for the real thing you know?" Zarek thinks on it for a bit "I think it's too soon to know if its the right thing. I don't think we'll be able to determine it without saving Caila first. But i sure hope it is."
London
"Hm, maybe. You really have a clear head about these things. Julietta seemed relieved we were giving Caila a chance, though, so whether things turn out good or bad, I don't think I can regret it too much either way. I think ensuring there are no doubts about her imprisonment is the good deed in itself. But maybe I am just trying to be overly optimistic. We've come so far now, it's annoying to think it may all be for a lost cause at this point."
Zarek
"Yeah, I won't regret what we've done either... not most of it at least, there are some things we could have handled better probably." he trails off more silently and then raises his voice back again "But overall it's not a journey i regret. And being optimistic isn't a bad thing as long as we're cautious"
London
In an effort to lighten the conversation, London changed his tone, "So anyway, before I ask more, was there anything else you wanted to know about me? I kind of forgot this was supposed to be your chance to snoop and took over." He laughed. "If not, I'm going to just keep going."
Zarek
Zarek thinks for a second with a mischievous grin "Hmm, you said a lot about yourself last time...I'm having a hard time thinking of a good question." He thought on it some more before giving up "I can't think of anything good, unless you have something in mind?. Go on if you want."
London
"Alright then," his voice went from light to teasing, "So how are things going with Aneris?"
Zarek
Zarek got visibly flustered and looked around to see if there was truly nobody around "Can we... talk about this through telepathy?"
London
"Huh? You could talk about everything else, but this is where you draw the line?!" He moved the conversation to telepathy, I don't mind, though. I forgot that was a taboo topic out loud, hehe.
Zarek
"Yeah, I already said I wasn't actively hiding the other stuff." He joined in I just don't want being loose with it to ruin my chances I guess...How embarrassing. But I already asked her about taking mercenary jobs and I was looking for some bounties the other day. Zarek starts visibly smiling as he goes on. And one or two more conversations at night than what I would expect.
London
Woah, really? Nice job. You're progressing more smoothly than I expected. I think getting her to accept the mercenary offer means you've already passed the first trial. The actual fighting should be a breeze between the two of you. Just got to make sure we find the time for the missions, huh?
Zarek
I guess so... I'm sort of excited but also I'm worried I'll mess up, I guess there will be some time to kill now that we have to wait for Pawo's warp and for the Upper Keep to actually land...
London
You're one of our best fighters. It will be fine! I don't think we've ever even had to heal you. Erm, so before Aneris... London coughed, realizing to passerbys they were just two guys sitting in silence for more than two minutes. "You seem like you'd be pretty good with women. Are you actually inexperienced with this sort of thing? I didn't really expect you to be needing help, but considering the person, I guess I don't blame you.."
Zarek
I'm just good taking hits. It's different from actual fighting. He looked at London and raised his eyebrows "Do I?" He then laughed a bit "Well the last three years I haven't actually tried to go for an actual relationship, I already mentioned since I'm a wanted man that wouldn't be too good... so I do get kind of nervous about it. I mean, last time I actually dated a girl i was like, 15 I think." He then looks at London "What about you"
London
Don't say that after you sliced that huge goliath in half. When Zarek turned the question back on London, he tensed. If he admitted his actual experience, it would make his advice lose all its worth. He really should have been more careful about the things he chose to bring up. He clenched his teeth before finally replying. "Wait! Before we talk about me, I want to hear more about this girl you dated! Was she cute?" He bought himself some time to think of a convincing answer at least.
Zarek
...I was on a lucky adrenaline rush, I doubt it will happen again. "Yeah, she was super cute... she had really nice black hair and incredibly pretty blue eyes.. She must be a real beauty by now." He snickers "I must be really missing out."
London
Well I hope it can happen again because another one of those moves will definitely help the cause. The cause being Aneris not the Ley Crystal. Though either would be nice. "Aw, what happened? Was it because you joined the military? How old were you when they made you work?"
Zarek
"[...] No, we broke up the same year really...we got into some really dumb fights with each other..." Zarek puts his palm over his face "It's embarrassing to think about it really."
London
"[...] What did you do in your freetime besides date a cute girl then?" He suddenly switched back into telepathy. Don't worry you were both young. Dumb fights are bound to happen between fifteen year olds.
Zarek
"[...] I didn't do much really, I played around the town, spent some evenings in the docks or the beaches... sometimes I helped around the fishermen or other people around town with small tasks, I didn't have many worries or responsibilities but they were some fun times really." Yeah I'm aware, I don't hold it against myself I guess.... so, ready to answer my previous question? He looked at London.
London
Uh, right... Considering he was going to lie about his own love life, it would be better to not press Zarek about his. London lazily waved a hand. Eh, I saw a few people here and there. It was nothing exciting. I'm more of a roamer than a settler, so I don't really do long-term relationships much. And well, actually... He placed his hand back down contemplating how to proceed. Lies were usually more believable when mixed in with a few truths. "Zarek, do you remember earlier when I said you owe me a favor?"
Zarek
Zarek struggles a bit to remember the specific moment "Yeah, I do kind of remember something along those lines, did you think of something?"
London
"Huh, did you forget? I guess it has been a while. It's really nothing big." London glanced around to ensure there were no familiar faces around before continuing. "Well, I said I've had some experience, right? Back in my day, I got tons of action, but then everything changed when I met Faelian! Now people think we're dating, and my luck has never been the same." Zarek was a year younger, so London felt it was his right to talk as if he were an old man. "I don't want this to scare you. I just want some tips on getting hooked up with a one night stand. It's been a while, so I'm a little anxious. Traveling with a group means Faelian won't be clinging onto me at a bar for once. He has others he can talk to, so this journey might be my only chance.."
Zarek
"Hmm, that sounds kind of sad...How did you even go 3 years with Faelian ruining your chances like that?. I guess that isn't too important now... to me the most important things I'm aware of when I try my luck is that I don't get too drunk at the bar since that's basically setting you up to fail, and don't beat around the bush too much...I mean you aren't the only one who goes there for that sort of thing so you're bound to find someone who is there for some fun too..." Zarek pauses a bit and then grins "I think you're being too paranoid about it, with your previous experience I'm sure you will nail it pretty quickly if you just relax a bit...but not too much." He then points at london's hair "You could try washing yourself a bit more often though."
London
London nodded along, appreciating the fact Zarek didn't dwell on details or ask for more info. That is until the end. "Hey! I'll have you know I bathed just one day ago. But thanks... This really clear some things up, I guess..." He reminisces on the fact he's barely tried to pick up dates without being drunk in the past. To think it was that simple... Damn. "We can stop talking about that now. Sorry to make things awkward, haha.."
Zarek
Zarek shrugs "I'm just saying, if you were a girl at a bar and I saw you with the way you keep your hair sometimes you wouldn't exactly be my first choice at all."
London
"Oh, thanks a lot." London huffed and leaned further back in the seat, even sliding down a bit. Then he sat back up to make a point. "My hair's not even that long, why would anyone care?!"
Zarek
"Well it would make things uncomfortable when you get intimate obviously, geez."
London
"Fine. That's fair. I was planning to wash it more often anyway. The only reason I didn't before was because I was busy." He'd call out Zarek on his weird attention to people's hair but figured he'd spare him. He was just answering his request, after all.
Zarek
"Make sure to wash the rest of your body too, I mean, sometimes I've seen you with the same dirt stain on your face for days" Zarek laughs a bit. "I'm sorry though, we can change the topic if you want."
London
"Yeah, I get it!" He whined and covered his face to muffly add, "I just stopped caring about it since Faelian ruined my chances to hit it with people in the first place.."
Zarek
Zarek gives London a confused but amused look, that sounded fishy. Did Faelian take all his soap or something?. "Well, you better make the best out of the journey then."
London
Then Zarek heard London laughing behind his hands before he removed them. "I'm just kidding. You must have seen the dirt I put on my face just to bug Faelian. Sometimes I do that because he enjoys nagging so much. I figure I might as well give him something more to nag about. He's so annoying. I can be perfectly clean, and he'll still think I'm dirty. Germophobic elf." London grumbled that last part.
Zarek
"That really sounds like more effort than it's worth... I guess he does seem like kind of an over-the-top guy, but its so petty to go against him like that" He laughs a bit at the last part.
London
"You should see him when I put the dirt on him." London stretched while saying. "Anyway, thanks for the tips. Sorry I was being so defensive. It's probably a force of habit. I know I should clean more. Half the time I'm just lazy." He avoided looking at Zarek while admitting this fact. [...]
Zarek
â[...]Â Anyway, I was wondering if you could avoid mentioning all this to the others I guess... [...]."
London
"Yeah, I won't talk about it without your knowledge." He hopped up to a stand. "You know.. thanks for telling me everything, and if it's possible, I'd like to help you. Even if it's just a little. I didn't really get to say it earlier, but all of the things you told me before, back in Lacietown, they meant a lot to me, and I'm glad you consider me your friend. Even if it's been a huge mess, and everyone is having trouble getting along, and we're in constant danger, I'm really glad to have met you. These have been some of the best days of my life thanks to you, and.. I really admire you." After he spoke, London turned back around but kept his eyes downcast. "There's actually something I've been afraid to admit for a while.."
Zarek
Zarek smiled "I want to thank you too, and I'm really happy to be your friend too, no matter how much we've struggled the past weeks it's been really great that we all could have come this far anyway... I don't really see myself as someone worth admiring though." He scratches his neck a bit at the compliment, then looks at London a bit more curiously. "What is it?"
London
"Huh, no! You're definitely worth admiring! I've never met anyone I thought was as cool as you! Do I have to bring up the goliath again? Though, I guess there are other great people in the party, too. Remember when Aneris killed that spider lady? That was incredible." He distracted himself in the memory of it.
Zarek
"Yeah, and Faelian took care of the giant sea turtle.. Beaford managed to shoot down the Phalanx Dragon, and you helped out greatly against the last monsters on the first two temples. We've all done our part in this journey." He tried to get back to the other topic "What was it that you wanted to say though"
London
"...Well, it's about the money I asked to save up for my father. Before we went to the third dungeon, I tried to mail my parents to find out how much it would be, but I never got a response, so I don't want everyone worrying about it anymore."
Zarek
"Hmm, are you asking me not to help you with it? Or just not to worry?"
London
"Both, I guess? Do you remember when I gave that speech about why I left home? I mentioned sometimes I have sort of prophetic dreams. Because of that, I can't always tell if I'm just having a nightmare or if a bad dream might actually be true. It's not really surprising I'd have nightmares about my parents after leaving home that day, but I've always been kind of scared to turn back and face them. I'm not trying to sound pessimistic, but after not receiving a letter that day, I grew even more worried. In a worst case scenario, I don't want everyone to help only to find out they were dead all along. So eventually, I'm going to go back and find out what the truth is by myself."
Zarek
"Well, it's my turn to ask now I guess. Would you mind if i accompanied you when you visited?" Zarek interrupted before waiting for an answer "though I can't imagine it being easy living with that fear, wouldn't you prefer to check on them sooner rather than later?"
London
London was stunned but replied, "Sure.. The thing is, I've thought about it plenty of times before, but I feel like if I did scry and couldn't pick anything up, I'd be mortified. I don't know if I'd even be able to continue on with this quest. I'm only able to keep going because of my over-optimism. I refuse to believe they're dead. But if I go there and see it for myself, I think I would be able to handle it better. I can find out exactly what happened and maybe properly mourn? I'm not sure. I've never been good at handling these things. But scrying is out of the question until Caila is freed."
Zarek
Zarek puts his hand on London's shoulder "That sounds like the smart thing to do. I think it's a good way to handle it for now, I do hope they're doing fine though."
London
He smiled. "I'm sure they are. Anyway, this has gone on for a while, huh? Think we should head back? Or did you have some more secrets to spill?" His eyes narrowed, and his smile turned into a smirk.
Zarek
Zarek lets out a yawn "other secrets huh... I don't think I can come up with anything interesting on the spot. Maybe it is time for me to go get some sleep"
London
"Heh. Yeah, me too. If you ever have any other questions, you don't need to be afraid to ask. Also, you can request favors from me anytime!" Then he added in a smug mumble, "But I can't guarantee I'll always be honest," recalling the romantic experience talk earlier.
Zarek
"I'll keep it in mind, and the offer goes both ways. Don't forget that" His expression changed to a more embarrassed one "except for asking about one specific thing, but you can ask about that one through telepathy."
London
"Hehe, yeah. Thanks Zarek." They headed back inside.
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