#hitting rockso at first on accident then realising oh it's That Fucking Guy

[izzy-b-hands]

More Dethklok/The Revenge bc why not since I'm not sleeping yet lol

also Jack kills Rockso in this one, congrats to Jack, get fucked to Rockso aksndkfnf

---

"So," Jack winces. "How attached were y'all to the on-site clown?"

"The what?" Nathan grumbles around a mouthful of potato chip.

"The guy, big hair, bright colours," Jack gestures. "Deep V on his jumpsuit?"

"Oh, that piece of shit," Nathan chuckles. "Toki likes him. Why?"

"Ah fuck," Jack sighs. "I may have run him down because he started shooting at me while I was trying to park."

"Oh. Okay."

"Uh...that's it?"

"I mean," Stede interjects. "He was a bad person. Very literally just a terrible man."

"And there's things to be said about vigilante justice, blah, blah, blah," Ed adds. "But instead I'm going to ask if you want pizza or not."

"Yes?" Jack frowns. "What about Toki?"

"You're basically a clown now and again," Izzy says. "And not a complete piece of shit like Rockso was. You're a good replacement."

"And what if I don't like Toki? I'm meeting him for the first fuckin' time today, after all-"

"Rockso ams deads!" Toki barrels into the kitchen and slams into Jack's chest. "Charles says you trieds to saves him! Thanks you so much for whats you did!"

Charles jogs in behind him, making clear 'just fucking go with it' gestures to them all.

"Uh, yeah," Jack pats Toki's back. "I sure did all I could. Definitely didn't reverse over him more than once."

Toki sobs.

"And hey! We were gonna have your chefs make some pizza! That's gotta help, right?"

"Cans we does shots while we eats it?" Toki whimpers. "Also, ams you a cowboys or a clowns or both?"

"Depends on the day and who you ask and Izzy don't say a fucking word," Jack smirks. "I'm Calico Jack, and I don't let genres define me."

"Think metal Tom Waits," Ed says. "That's him more or less in a phrase."

"I've asked you not to do that, define me," Jack sighs. "Toki, I think I need those shots. Where's the nearest whiskey bar?"

"We don'ts got a bar, but the Klokateers makes most of our booze here!"

"Why the fuck do y'all ever leave?" Jack asks playfully as Toki drags him away towards the nearest Klokateer, presumably to start feeding each other booze.

"Okay, so someone's gonna deal with the..." Pickles pauses. "Charles, you got someone dealing with-"

"Rockso is on his way to be cremated then buried," Charles interrupts. "As per his latest will."

"Oh good. So, if we do this song with Jack-"

"No other concerns about Rockso being killed on your property?" Charles asks.

"No," Skwisgaar replies. "He ams finally deads; we haves pizza on the way; grass ams green, any other facts yous ams wanting me to recite for no good reason?"

"That answers the are you hangry question," Charles continues. "And no. Just wanted to make sure, if anyone was feeling anything conflicting about it-"

"Shhhh," Pickles interrupts. "Just enjoy the moment with us."

There's a beat of silence.

"So. I didn't see a parking lot when we got dropped off here today," Frenchie says gently. "Where did Jack park, and where the fuck was that creepy clown wandering?"

"Doesn't matter, his car will be safe regardless," Stede takes the lead, with an accompanying nod from Charles. "And he was wandering in the best place possible: in front of Jack's car."

"A lot of people die here, huh?"

"Don't worry about it," Nathan passes down plates as a chef sets a platter of pizza on the counter nearest them. "Have some pizza, and think about that adjustment to the bass line I mentioned. Murderface can't play it well enough, but you or someone else could."

Frenchie takes the pizza and nods. "He truly was one of the worst people, wasn't he? The clown?"

"May he rescht in pissch," Murderface declares, and with it, the matter feels perfectly settled.