#his urethra keeps getting blocked

[sharonisthebettercarter]

we need to talk about common comic opinion for the boys

so i read the comics.

was curious for a while, buddies wanted to do it, finally bit the bullet and MAN OH MAN~<3

there's common opinion that swirls around from people who *have not read the comics* need i remind, an opinion that they are merely *meaningless edgelord drivel* or the like.

i'm here to bust that misconception, smack it upside the head and drag it around the fuckin' town and kick it till it's caved in because it couldn't be more *wrong* if it tried.

first thing i'll say is that the comics *don't* compare in what you'd call 'gratuitous edginess' to the show. while they have their 'bit on the nose moments', they're drawings that go panel by panel. even what they *could* show wouldn't compare, and it honestly doesn't. (coming from someone who's also watched the show too many times over now and got a nice fresh read in)

robin's death is more brutal *in the show*. there is more blood and gore. *in the show*. the arguably edgiest thing between both of them is a guy exploding another guy from inside his urethra, which *only happens in the show*

and for those that have no clue about the big twist or comics homie and try to make blocks of analysis for a character they have zero actual information or decent research on.

homelander is worse. *in the SHOW*.

granted, both have similar enough structure with reversed character development/reveal, but i digress

butcher is just THE biggest fucking bottom by the way, lord satan i CAN NOT with that boi--

anywho~<3

the 'meaningless' part? well that's just a big fat lie and i'll say it up front. that shit needs to stop. this thing was definitely an emotional rollercoaster, and while it may be true that it's not for everyone, it was far from meaningless and actually brilliantly written and even researched.

it's raw, it feels real half the time, it teaches valuable lessons, and even when you're in the notion of 'okay, where is this going, it's sus', when you stick with it? you get rewarded fucking beautifully.

there are moments you'd disagree with the characters actions in a way that makes them feel humanly flawed. of course they might do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing, so do real life humans?? there are cross cultural miscommunication references and conversations that show ennis knew what he was doing and why he did it a certain way. and yeah, it can be too much to handle for some,

*but if you honestly feel that way you shouldn't be watching the show either*

and here's what it's not.

meaningless, ill-thought, pointless, edgelord drivel.

it *is* an intricate and well done, brutally *honest* creative critique of the *military industrial complex*, *corporate capitalism*, and a couple other things expertly squeezed in. even touching on *abuse* and hitting all the right spots for how it can psychologically fuck with people. the ending punches you in the fucking feels as you could appropriately expect it to with a hard side of begrudged satisfaction.

good fucking satan these things were an excellent read that compelled me to want moar from start to finish, and yeah, if you have watched the show then i *highly* recommend them because the important topics and themes touched on are presented much better in the comic, even with the sometimes wonky ass art in place of hawt actors to distract you, lmao

but seriously? the lot of you that keep spouting nonsense from your clenched up assholes without actually bothering to look at the source material need to stop. all you're doin' is actin' damn fools and showing off high and mighty opinions based on complete mis-education if not un-education.

and f.y.i.... also being the damn fools both the comics AND show make fun of.

so remember that line billy says?

'but the main reason you don't hear about it is cause the public don't want to know about it.'

that's y'all. legit, at this point. more specifically, y'all would be the 'public' that wants to live with rose tinted glasses instead of acknowledging that reality is more brutal than we often want to see or admit.

why else would you keep denouncing and dismissing the comics and source material of something you allegedly love?

because some other schmuck on the internet said a lie, gave you hearsay, or a rumor they heard through a grapevine on a game of telephone that said it wasn't worth looking into yourself?

well i'll call bullshit on that straight up but what are y'all so afraid of??

couple other things i will say, if you hate butcher for being the biggest worldclass cunt, you will absolutely feel vindicated and have your feelings or possibly lovehate boner (like mine~) completely validated with what happens in these comics (and if i'm being honest about the direction of the show, weeeeelllll...~<3 lemme not tho lmao<3 still def the biggest bottom, out bottoms hughie by far, i wanna see him get railed by vas/love sausage)

i will also say, billy is 100% wrong in the comic and the show is slowly but surely unraveling that truth there as well, if it's not clear enough by now. what he does isn't for becky/becca, and definitely not for ryan either. it never was.

it's for his father, no i will not elaborate cause read the damn comics. (but also, people need to stop fucking forgetting that HUGHIE is the *actual* good guy here, not billy... billy is a bad guy... billy is objectively worse than homelander in many MANY canon ways and remember that reverse character development i mentioned--.)

contrast, if you *love* butcher, you will likely be disappointed in the show, but the comics will help prepare you for it (they also make too many things CLEAR)

unfortunately, you do not get sweetheart noir in this and while i love his show counterpart, bearing with cunt 9000 noir is worth it. (it also sparked fic ideas for me cause why not both~<3)

LOVE SAUSAGE IS UNREAL AND PERFECT~<3<3<3 if nothing else, comics love sausage at least deserves your full attention.

homelander's as always is a fun boi, show homelander by comparison is basically *final stage* comics homie (full throttle evil berserk type shit/just before it hits) take everything you thought you knew about (comics) him, and throw it out the fuckin' window.

boi does some fucked up shit... and ALSO has fucking mental breakdowns and visceral reactions like throwing up to doing evil shit because he literally can't stomach it and is trying to convince himself that he is the bad guy because he's been gaslit--.

and i'ma stop there. read the fuckin' comic if you actually wanna know just how deep that homie rabbit hole goes.

and i will absolutely use the idea of him having legit *adverse reactions to doing evil shit* in a fic because FUCK. YES. that was a sad but lovely detail and would make for a perfect fuckin'a alibi<3

anywho~<3, if you recognize he's a victim in the show? the comics. read them cause OOOOOHHHH--.

[depravednexus]

Katsu was tied up, blindfolded, and extra vulnerable for Medusa. He was trembling with excitement. @katsu-wants-your-bottom

". . ." She's going to let him tremble with his own excitement and stew in it for the night. A miniscule Vector Arrow down his urethra to block and reverse flow to prevent him from orgasming for the next twelve hours should be a nice starting point, but what else?

Ah! A good little cocksleeve fitted around his cock with a few dozen Vector Arrows around the tip of his cock and another matching set around his base to keep the toy bouncing back and forth between them... But would that be enough to get him warmed up and leave him marinading for the night?

If he retained his sanity and eagerness come daybreak, she might reward him with a few strokes from her feet until he came... Or perhaps a blowjob? She'll debate his potential reward while quietly observing him through the myriad of serpents already located within his body.

[thetravelerwrites]

Dr. Mael Halvorg (Part 3) Lemon

Rating: Explicit Relationship: Male Part-Fae/Female Part-Fae Additional Tags: Exophilia, Monster Boyfriend, Fae, Naga, Reader Insert, Genetics Content Warnings: Children, Pregnancy, Incubation, Oviposition, Egg Laying, Birth, Surgery, Male Infertility Words: 4029

Dr. Halvorg learns what could be causing his infertility and makes arrangements to try and correct it. He and the reader become closer, and the reader attempts to do something to help him feel less lonely and unfulfilled. Please reblog and leave feedback!

The Traveler's Masterlist

Halvorg went in for the tests that same week, returning afterwards subdued and blushing slightly. You assumed he’d never given a… sample… before.

“How’d it go?” You asked him.

He rubbed his neck bashfully. “It was… thorough.”

You snickered. “At least it wasn’t a biopsy after an abnormal pap smear. Those are traumatic.”

He looked aghast. “I can only imagine.”

“Did they say when the results would be in?”

He shook his head. “No, they’re supposed to call me when they come back. Could be a week or so.”

You patted his arm softly. “How are you feeling?”

He sighed heavily. “Worried. This could change my life or confirm my worst fear. Either way, I’m… well, to be honest, I’m a little scared.”

“I understand,” You replied. “Well, no, I don’t. My family is disgustingly fertile. If I ever tried to get pregnant, I’m sure it wouldn’t take me long.” You looked up at him with sympathy. “But I do feel for you.”

“I appreciate that,” He said solemnly. He looked at you curiously. “If I might ask, how old are you?”

“I’ll be one hundred and seventy four years in August,” You said.

“And you’ve never considered having children in that time?” He asked.

“Not really. I figured I had enough nieces and nephews that I didn’t think it was necessary. I mean, I’m not against the idea of having children, I’ve just been career oriented for most of my life and never really settled down in any place for very long. I’ve never been married, never had any serious relationships, never dating with the intent on finding ‘the one.’ I figured if I wanted that, it would come in time and I would let it happen naturally and there was no need to rush it. Does that make sense?”

“It does,” He said. “That’s how I used to be for a good three centuries. It wasn’t until I did marry and tried to make a family and failed, again and again, that I sort of became… obsessed.”

“How many times have you been married?”

“Thirty times, I believe.”

“Were they all human?”

“Most of them were,” He said. “There were a couple of tieflings, a half-orc woman, a faun, a selkie, and a dryad. I stayed with them all until the end of their lives, except the last one who left me. I’m nothing if not devoted.” He cocked his head. “Well, I divorced the dryad. She wasn’t happy that I couldn’t conceive children and berated me for it.”

“Oh, jeez, what a bitch,” You said, frowning.

He snorted. “I may have used similar language at the time.”

“I can’t imagine you calling someone a bitch,” You said, side-eyeing him.

“I was a different man in my youth,” He said, smiling. “I’ve got some papers to file. I’ll see you later.”

You waved him off, watching him walk briskly and frowned. He’d lost so much, been disappointed so often, given up on the things he wanted for himself to help others. He was using what he had to give others what he wanted, and as noble a pursuit as that was, it was also rather sad. And what if he got the news he was dreading the most. He’d be devastated.

Was there anything you could do to make him feel better? Was there something you could give him that would make him feel less… incomplete? The only time he seemed genuinely happy was when he was with the children. What else could give him the same joy?

The boy. It came to you suddenly. What about the boy he thought was his son? The one he raised until his mother left with him? Could you find him? Was he alive?

At lunchtime, you sat down with Amai in the cafeteria.

“Can I ask a favor of you?” You asked.

“Sure, what is it?” She responded, sipping her coffee. She always craved coffee when she was incubating and downed gallons of it after laying.

“The boy Halvorg raised, what was his name?”

“Robert, I think?” She said. “I can ask Yenuno, he knows.”

“What year was he born?”

“Uhhh… 1901 or around there.”

“What was his mother’s name?”

“Martha--why are you asking about this?”

You sighed. “I want to find Halvorg’s son. He may be dead now, but I have to try. Halvorg is so unhappy, he’s just gotten really good at hiding it. I want to give him some kind of closure.”

Amai winced in sympathy. “Yeah, I know what you mean. Spending all these years around him, I can see how much he’s hurting, even if he tries to mask it.” She sighed. “I have some contacts at the census archives and I can make some inquiries. I’ll check the lineages websites and find as many records as I can.” Amai snorted. “Maybe he’ll be less uptight.”

“Amai!” You retorted.

“Sorry, sorry!” Amai held her hands up. “I’m sorry, it’s a reflex by now, sorry. This is serious. I’ll look into it.”

“Thank you,” You said with a warning tone. “This is serious.”

“I know,” Amai said, her face more solemn. “I’ll do what I can.”

“Thank you,” You repeated. “I’m sorry to put more work on you, though.”

She tsked at you. “Please, I always take maternity leave during Yenuno’s time incubating. I generally have nothing to do but keep the big guy company while he’s stuck in one place. It’ll give me something to do.”

Halvorg got the call a few days later and informed you of the appointment time. You offered to drive him, and he gratefully accepted.

“Are you alright?” You asked him.

He took a deep breath and blew it out through pursed lips. “I don’t know. This is either a new beginning or the end of the road. I don’t know how to feel.”

“I’ll be with you, no matter what,” You told him.

He grimaced in a failed attempt to smile. “Thank you.”

The two of you sat in the waiting room for a moment before being called back into an exam room. He sat there in his chair and fidgeted nervously. You put your hand on his and held it. He looked up at you with fear in his eyes and didn’t shake you off.

The doctor knocked on the door and let himself in. Halvorg straightened up, releasing your hand.

“Alright, Dr. Halvorg,” He said, sitting at the table. “We Have your results back. Blood and urine came back normal, and there’s nothing abnormal on your x-rays.” He flipped on the computer screen on the desk in front of him and pulled up Halvorg’s file. “However, there was abnormalities in your sperm sample and the MRI.”

“What type of abnormalities?”

“Well, first of all, your semen sample didn’t have any sperm in it.”

Halvorg looked confused. “What?”

“It’s a condition known as Azoospermia. It’s basically when there’s a blockage somewhere that’s trapping the sperm, which is why there weren’t any little swimmers in your sample.” The doctor clicked on one of the tabs and opened an MRI of Halvorg’s pelvic area and pointed out the anomalies. “The MRI confirms it. There doesn’t appear to be a connection between your epididymus and your vas diferens, and without that connection, the sperm is completely blocked. There’s also a blockage from your testes to the urethra. You appear to have been born with all of these blockages.”

“How does that happen?”

“As to that,” The doctor said, looking at the paperwork he came in with. “Your genetics test came back, and it appears that you have a mutation of Cystic Fibrosis. Thankfully, with this mutation, there are no other typical symptoms of Cystic Fibrosis besides the infertility.”

“Can it be corrected?” Halvorg asked anxiously.

“Yes, microsurgery can correct it. Before we do that, we’ll need to take a sample directly from the testicle with a needle to see if you’re producing sperm at all and look at the count. If we determine that the general sperm production is not the problem, then we’ll proceed with surgery.”

Halvorg sat in a stunned silence, gripping his knees tightly.

“So… it’s possible that I could have children?” He asked.

“There is a possibility,” The doctor said. “We would have to wait until after the surgery and take another sample. I don’t want to get your hopes up too soon, the sperm count could be low, they could be abnormal. There are a bunch of things that could go wrong.”

“But there’s a chance?” Halvorg asked, his eyes as wide and vulnerable as a puppy.

“There’s a chance,” The doctor replied.

As the two of you left the clinic and headed to your car, before you could get to your door, Halvorg gently took your arm, swung you around, took your face in his hands, and kissed you full on the mouth. You made a sound of surprise, but you didn’t push him away.

He lingered for a moment or two before breaking away and saying, “I’m sorry, I know that was extremely unprofessional and probably unwanted, but I don’t know how to thank you. I owe you so much, I can’t begin to express how grateful I am.” He gulped and looked at you earnestly, breathing out a shaky breath. “Do you remember when you asked me to dinner?”

“Yeah?” You asked, confused but intrigued by the sudden softening of his prickly exterior.

“Does the offer still stand?”

You smiled at him slowly and took his hands. They were trembling. This was the first time in a century he’d asked a woman out, after all.

“Yeah,” You replied, stepping closer so that your body lightly brushed his. “Yeah, it does.”

He smiled wide and kissed you again.

Maël went in the next day to have a sample taken, and was thrilled to learn that he did have a decent amount of sperm production. He scheduled the surgery immediately. The recovery time would be at least six weeks, and it was advised that he didn’t try to have sexual relations for another two weeks after that. Plenty of time to feel out your new blooming relationship and get more comfortable with each other.

Thankfully, you had a week to actually go on a few dates before he went under the knife. He took you to Dunmountain on a weekend trip to the museum and the opera. It was the first time you’d done anything like this recreationally in a really long time, and you loved every second of it.

Even though you were sharing a hotel room and a bed, he didn’t attempt to be intimate with you, and you didn’t push him. It had been a century since he last took a woman to bed, and you imagined he felt a little nervous about it.

You didn’t go out of your way to tell people that you were together, but it wasn’t a big secret either. Yenuno and Amai were overjoyed for the two of you. Maël had told Yenuno and Amai about the surgery, but he claimed it was a hernia. You weren’t sure if he would tell them the whole truth. Not unless he got the results he wanted.

By the time he healed completely, it would be about time for the eggs to hatch. Yenuno was already restless and it had only been a month.

You drove Maël to the surgical clinic on the day of his surgery, sat with him in pre-op while he waited nervously and just talked him through his anxiety, holding his hand when they put the IV in. They gave him some medicine to help calm his nerves, and he began to grow sleepy. You stroked his head and watched his eyes fluttered closed. They wheeled him into surgery while he was still snoozing.

The procedure didn’t take very long, only about an hour, and you waited to be called back. A nurse came to retrieve you and took you to his room.

He lay there in bed, drifting in and out.

“Hey, sweetie,” You said, rubbing his arm. “How are we feeling?”

“Sore and thirsty,” He croaked.

You picked up the cup with water in it the nurse had provided and helped him take a sip.

“I’m not surprised you’re sore,” You remarked, setting the cup back down. “A whole bunch of people fondled your balls for an hour.”

He wheezed a laugh. You loved it when he laughed. It changed his whole face. “Did they say when they’d release me?”

“As soon as you can pee on your own, they’ll let you out of here. They said there would be swelling so it might be a while before you’re able to do it, though. I’ll wait.”

He held his hand out for yours and you took it.

“I feel like all I do these days is thank you,” He said. “I wish I could do as much for you as you’ve done for me.”

“You don’t have to do anything for me,” You said. “I’m a strong, independent woman who don’t need no man. But I’ll keep you around. You’re cute.”

He breathed another laugh through his nose. “I’m glad. I’ve become rather fond of you.”

You kissed his knuckles. “Likewise.”

He managed to relieve himself right after dinnertime, and was declared clear to go home. You drove him back to the facility and helped him to bed. He was asleep before you left his apartment.

Heading back into your own apartment for the night and sat heavily on your couch. God, you needed to do laundry. It had been a chaotic few weeks.

You started picking up clothes that were strewn haphazardly over furniture, and while picking up a pair of jeans, a small book fell out.

Oh. Right. Maël’s research notes. You’d meant to give it back. Well, Maël was going to be recovering in bed for a few days and likely sleeping most of that time. You could give it back when he was back on his feet. You placed it in the drawer of your nightstand, stared at it for a minute, and went on to start laundry.

And promptly forgot about it for a second time.

Maël slowly healed, though he walked a little stiffly for a few weeks and was careful when sitting. He was a little more irritable than normal, but you imagined he was trying to adjust and was also still worried about whether or not the surgery had worked. He wouldn’t know for another several weeks.

The children kept bringing him flowers they found in the forest to cheer him up, which always seemed to lift his spirits. You spent the evenings with him, talking and cuddling and kissing. You felt like a teenager again, and you hadn’t been a teenager in over one hundred and fifty years.

You were starting to regret the timing of the surgery, though. Sometimes the making out would get pretty hot and heavy, and you had to force yourselves to stop for fear of injuring him.

One night after you’d been dating for just under two months, he was kissing your neck and began to unbutton your shirt. You stopped him.

“You haven’t been cleared for intercourse, have you?” You asked him.

“No, not yet,” He said, breathing heavily and biting his lip. His white-blonde hair was out of it’s normal clean braid and falling around his face. “But I can do something for you.” His hand drifted down your abdomen and between your thighs.

“Oh,” You said, smiling a little. “Are you sure?”

He slipped his hand into your panties and stroked you, and your breath caught in your throat.

“I haven’t done it in a while,” He said, trailing open-mouthed kisses down your stomach. “But I think I still know how to do this.”

He got up from the couch and pulled you by your legs gently so that you were laying flat, pushing up your skirt and pulling off your panties. He knelt back down on the couch, yanking off his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. He slowly spread your legs and pushed your knees upward. He started kissing and sucking the inside of your thigh while circling your bud with his thumb. You moaned and lay back into the cushions, giving over to the sensations.

As he kissed his way toward the apex, he slipped his middle finger inside you and thrust it gently in and out. You whimpered and gripped the couch, your hips grinding against his hand.

“Maël, please,” You breathed.

He growled low in his throat, sending a shockwave through your spine.

“Since you said please,” He whispered teasingly, and pressed his tongue to your clit. Your toes curled at the contact and you grabbed a handful of his hair.

“Oh god,” You whispered. “Maël.”

He placed his whole mouth over you, licking and sucking, adding another finger inside you. He certainly did remember how to do this.

“Fuck!” You said through gritted teeth, followed up by a shuddering moan, raising your head to watch him. He looked up at you through his long lashes and doubled his efforts, sucking your labia into his mouth and pulling, adding a third finger. “Fuck, I’m so close.”

Still sucking, he grinned up at you and quirked an eyebrow. He withdrew his fingers and used his hands to push your knees into your chest to open you up wider. You grabbed his head with both hands and rocked your clit against his tongue.

You came as though hit by a bus, loud and violent. Your butt lifted off of the couch as you pulsed in ecstasy, screaming. You hoped the walls of his apartment were soundproof. You couldn’t believe that he’d made you come in under a minute.

“How? How did you do that?” You wheezed.

He chuckled darkly. “I was married thirty times, darling. If I don’t know what I’m doing by now, I shouldn’t be dating at all.”

You just sort of laid there like a starfish while you got your breath back and cooled down. Maël went to fetch you some water and a snack. Eventually, you found your underwear and put it back on. Once your heart rate had slowed, he pulled you into his lap and kissed you slowly until you fell asleep. The next morning, you woke up next to him in his bed. You were tucked up under his arm and he was sleeping peacefully, a small smile on his face.

Suddenly, both of your cellphones buzzed at once. Maël snorted awake and untangled himself from you, picking up his phone, looking at it, and jumping out of bed.

“What’s wrong?”

“The eggs are hatching!” He exclaimed hastily, pulling clothes out of drawers and putting them on hurriedly. You threw your clothes on and joined Maël’s mad dash for the door.

When you got to the receiving area, the kids were milling around inside, instructed to stay away from the cottage until the babies were born, but they were craning their necks to see what was happening.

Amai was in the shelter with Yenuno and several members of the hatching team, looking into the circle of his tail. She looked up and saw the two of you running up and shouted: “Hurry! They’re almost out!”

You and Maël darted up the ramp and looked down into the coil. All three of the eggs were cracked open and little arms and tails were poking out.

“Vitals?” Maël asked, donning a surgeon’s paper outfit and instructing you to do the same.

“Vitals are elevated but within acceptable range,” One of the nurses said.

“Good,” Maël said. “Alright, we just have to stand back. They’ll do most of the work.

Amai and Yenuno were watching the eggs hatch with awe on their faces. You supposed watching this never got old for them. You wondered if they would miss this now that they decided to stop laying.

Slowly, the little wiggling figures freed themselves from their shells and were crawling around on their hands, looking up at their parents. Maël used that distraction to examine them.

“No way…” He said in a hushed tone. “I don’t believe it.”

“What?” Amai asked a little shrilly. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Maël said, grinning up at her. “They’re all girls.”

“What?!” Yenuno and Amai said in unison, looking at their new little ones.

From what Maël had told you, the ratio of male to female births of Blue Gill Nagas was disproportionately skewed in favor of males. One in twenty eggs contained a female. Having an entire clutch of females was extremely rare.

Yenuno and Amai cried with joy and excitement. They’d been hoping to have at least one more little girl. To get three in one go was overwhelming.

Maël supervised the clean up process, and when they were ready, Yenuno and Amai brought the three baby girls out and introduced them to their siblings. You watched on the ramp with Maël, smiling, and took his hand. He squeezed yours in return. Looking up at his face, you could see he was crying, too.

This is what Maël wanted. He wanted to be the first to say hello to his own child, to be the first to hold them, to be the first to tell them he loved them. He wanted to kiss their brow and dance with them when they were crying and sing them to sleep at night. To get on the floor and play with them and put bandaids on their knees when they scraped them. He was desperate to experience that again, like he had with his son.

After the hatching, Maël went to file the new birth paperwork and Amai and Yenuno and their children were spending the next few days together. That left you with nothing to do.

Back in your apartment, you lay in your bed, thinking about that morning over and over. The babies busting out of their shells, the look of joy on their parents’ faces, the mix of happiness and pain on Maël’s.

You sat up to get your lip balm from your night table, and again found the book. You really ought to give it back. You’d been absent-minded about this for too long.

You opened it, flipping through pages until you landed on the date you first arrived at the facility. Intrigued, you read it.

“Amai’s friend finally made it today. It was exciting to meet her; I’ve been following her career for so long. She’s done so much for the non-human community. Amai didn’t tell me how breathtakingly beautiful she was. My heart stopped when I saw her out of the window. I haven’t felt attraction like this in centuries.”

Oh. Oh god. This was his personal diary. You knew you should stop reading it, but couldn’t. You had no idea he’d felt this way.

“I think I’m flirting with her, but I’m not trying to. I can’t help it. She’s funny and intelligent and everything I love in a woman. She’s gorgeous. I don’t know what to do. I’m trying so hard to stay professional, but I can seem to stop smiling around her.”

The next entry was the day you asked him to dinner.

“She asked me out on a date tonight. It was so hard to say no, but there’s no point, is there? She won’t want me if she knows I can’t have children. She’ll either leave me or mock me. There’s no point. I’ll avoid her. That’s all I can do. It’s best if I don’t get closer to her. Even friendship is dangerous. I’m already half in love with her, and I don’t think I could take it if we started a relationship and she ended up pitying me or disgusted. I can’t do it again.”

There were no more mentions of you in the book after that. You didn’t realize you were crying until the tears hit the page.

It was then that you made a decision.

You took out your phone and dialed your gynecologist’s office. “Hi, Grace, I’d like to schedule a consultation with the doctor about canceling my next birth control injection.”

Since my work is no longer searchable, please do me a favor and reblog this story if you enjoyed it. Help me reach a wider audience! To help me continue creating, please consider buying me a Kofi, becoming a Patron, or donating directly to my PayPal!

Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

[secretsniper3]

Part 5: Pain in Pleasure..

Darkness, imobile, constantly cumming with a stomach full of cum I awake in a haze of orgasms and sweat. Even though I just woke up my body is exhausted, wracked with pain due to the constant bondage, the rope biting my flesh with every passing second as tears stain my latex covered cheeks. The words “You are now a Slave, you will Submit as you are now Property” burned clearly through my brain, the voice has stopped speaking but I can still hear its echo in my mind, echoing over and over, repeating as fast as the orgasms I experience every few seconds, how much longer can I last down here.

-----------------------------------------------

My Master enters the room just as my alarm goes off, my latex covered head raises and my eyes meet his. “Get up, your punishment begins now” he says. Keeping my head low as I get out of bed Im put in a restrictive corset while I wobble in my boots, still locked to my legs, Box glove pinning my arms behind my back tightly and a chain is connected to my ankles, limiting me to quick steps to keep up with my Master. A posture collar locks around my neck and a leash clipped on the front and the plate covering my pussy is removed from my chastity belt, taking out a new covering plate with a long, thin and hollow tube on it. Pushing it slowly up my urethra my Master unscrews the tip and inserts a tube and pumps a pink fluid into my bladder directly, then reinserting the cap, keeping me full of the mystery fluid and a uncomfortable sensation with a severe need to pee.

“Itll take a hour for that to absorb into your system so lets eat.” My Master says as he leads me out of my room and to the dining room, simple cerial to eat and half way through Im greeted with a burning sensation between my legs. Letting out a gasp of arousal my Master smiles, knowing the fluid is doing its job getting me ready for the days ahead, as my Master continues spoon feeding me till Im done then eating his own food. Cleaning up he takes me to the play room and lays me down and locks my legs open, removing his cock he takes my mouth to use, pumping down my throat as hard as he sees fit my tongue curling around his shaft as he continues to thrust into me. Seemingly waiting for the fluid to absorb he continues his assault on me as he grabs my breasts and squeezes them together, mounting my chest he thrusts into my ample clevage and his tip pushing through and cumming on my neck and face, pumping more and more onto me and stepping aside and laughing at how I look “like a true cum slut!” and I know he isnt lying. I am a slut, his slut. A toy for him to use as he sees fit.

Removing my chastity belt and pulling the plug out of my urethra Im amazed when nothing comes out, I was so sure I needed to pee earlier but now, nothing. “all soaked in, now the fun can begin” my Master says as he levels his cock and aims for my target, thrusting hard his cock spears into my pussy and he pumps madly in and out of me, feeling my arousal cresting once more I strain on my bindings as the mounting orgasm rushes forth! “Oh god Master!” is all I say as I close my eyes as my orgasm is only thrusts away. Then nothing happens, my Master pumping constantly into my pussy, my arousal still there and burning hotter than lava, I should be cumming but Im not! Im terrified as my eyes shoot down to my Master as he continues to fuck my denied pussy. Slamming my eyes shut I scream into my mind, ordering my body to cum but it doesnt happen, I feel my pleasure overflowing and still no reward to show for it. Laughing as he fucks my pussy he explains “the chemical i pumped into your body blocks the signal from your brain that makes you cum Slave, like poison, without the antidote youll never cum again!" Screaming out loud this time as my body is denied more orgasms as my pussy drowns in pleasure, my Master pounding hard into my flooding cunt.

Growing tired after his 5th orgasm inside me he turns his attention to a device nearby, shaking uncontrollably I open my eyes to see whats to come next, its the sybian from yesterday! if I were shaking before, Im thrashing now, desperate to close my thighs and deny that cruel device a place on my pussy I scream out “NO NOT THAT!!” and I stop. Realizing that I said a forbidden word, my Master is not happy now. Removing the hollow plastic cock on the device he replaces it with a double pronged metal dildo with large bumps all over it and a red and black wire in the base of both protrusions, pushing them into my pussy and ass I squirm as a long metal tube goes up my urethra and a plastic tube suctioned onto my clit, wires line the inside giving my clit a rough surface to lay against. Clamps on my nipples and a plug-gag are added, ensuring I cant utter another word as he attaches wired pads to my chest, thighs and ass. stepping back I look horrified as he raises the remote and turns the sybian on, instant orgasm were it not for the chemical as my Master cruely raises the speed to add further discomfort as my inserts all start humming wildly inside me.

Continuing to raise the speed my Masters eyes locked on mine as he eventually maxes the device out, lowering 1 remote and grabbing another he smiles as he says “you will now learn that you can never say “No” to your Master!” almost yelling the last 2 words as he presses the button and my body lights up with power as every opening is filled with a violent hum while simultaniously coursing with electricity. Thankful my plug-gag is in place to stop me shattering my teeth my Master returns to my face, hard cock in hand as he removes my plug and rams his member into my empty mouth. The dungeon now filled with buzzing, electricity cracking and gagged moans as my body and mind are tortured for saying “no”.

2 hours pass, 2 whole, slow, agonizing hours of denial hell, my Master has long since left my mouth, but not before dumping a fresh load into my mouth and replugging my face, he now sits in a chair watching my body dancing as best it can while bound strictly, he sips from a cool drink as he drinks in my torment with a smile on his face as he then pours a grey, sloppy fluid from a large bottle into a funnel as he mutters something under his breath. Believing I have learned my lesson my Master presses a button and the electricity tormenting my body stops, forgotten seconds later as my body continues quaking as the vibrations lower to a dim hum. Removing the devices both in and on me my Master then opens the device holding me and raises me up, swapping my box glove restraining my arms with a armbinder he cinches it tight and wraps the straps above and bleow my breasts, confirming my helplessness is ongoing. Leading me to the middle of the room and connecting a chain to the d-ring on the armbinder my Master raises my arms and I lean forward to release the strain on them. raising higher im forced into a tight angle as the muscles in my legs burn in my ballet boots as my Master inserts his cock once again into my pussy, I have given up on cumming at this point as if I could cum, the 2 hours on electric vibration would have seen to it and then some, but having failed to cum in that situation its clearly impossible, the pleasure only continuing to mount higher on my senses, a simple stroke across my breast grants the same response as a brush to my clit.

Giving my pussy 3 loads directly he then pushes into my sore ass and puts another 2 loads. Taking a step back my Master smacks my ass hard, leaving a handprint easily on my left cheek, he turns his attention to my right cheek and repeats, leaving another mark. Turning to a wall, my Master has a wide selection of canes, floggers and whips, taking a leather flogger from the wall my ass recieves 15 smacks per cheek and my eyes water in pain as my pussy burns with unobtainable desire. Turning his attention to my exposed thighs my Master proceeds to swap out for a cane and gives my inner thighs a few taps to make the coming hits more anticipated and pushing a vibrating egg inside my pussy to keep me entertained, slamming hard on my inner leg Im quickly left with multiple welts for my juices to run down over. Slamming against the back of my legs and over my ass I scream out in pain and pleasure as Im oddly aroused by the pain my Master delivers with each blow. After 20 strikes per leg my tears dropping on the floor making a small puddle as the last hit strikes, a cold salve is rubbed against my burning welts by my Masters ever calm hand, rubbing deep into my flesh you feel relieved, the pain is fading fast as the salve does its work on my tender skin. Raising my body up straight Im unbound from the chain and led out to the main hall to a table in the middle of the room.

Instructed to stand still I watch with a look of confusion as my Master shuffles a table off a small carpet and then moves the carpet to reveal a hatch in the floor. I never knew there was a hatch but then again I have never seen that table moved since my first day here, opening the hatch my Master calls me over and I peer inside, the posture collar demanding I lean forward at the hip. I see a box, its not small by any means but its still tightly wedged in the floor, removing it would take time, listening close I can hear moans and a strong buzzing coming from the box, looking at my Master he smiles. “you will find out tomorrow my dear” he says as he closes the hatch and puts the carpet and table back on top of the hatch, hiding it from view completly as he fiddles with a tube ensuring its exposed slightly. whoever is inside, Im curious as to who it is and how long they have been in the box. Standing beside me my Master grabs my firm, welted ass as he squeezes and chuckles, causing me to giggle like a schoolgirl, my plug-gag is removed and Im taken to the dining room for lunch, armbinder removed, clearly not interested in hand feeding me a second time today Im free to move around and I make a sandwich your both me and my Master as Im told and sit to eat. Absentmindedly moving a hand to rub my pussy I hear my Master clear his throat, snapping me out of my daze as I catch my hand doing its best to pleasure me.

Taking me back to my room Im stripped of my clothes and boots, gasping as my bare feet find solid ground and almost drop to massage my tortured toes. A black latex bodysuit is pulled from my wardrobe and thrown to my bed and Im ordered to put it on, being told to use my own juices as lubricant to assist as needed. A latex hood with only nose holes is removed followed by a latex armbinder, corset, heels and vacbed, all placed on the bed beside me as he turns to help me get dressed. Putting the latex bodysuit on was easy enough, Master was right, pussy juice made for good lubricant to slide in easier, zipping it up its followed by my corset, pulled tight by my Master. Hood followed and then heels and armbinder, standing me up on my feet I wait as he sets up my bed, and lays me down once its set and Im covered in the top latex sheet with my legs opened by his hand, gap over my nose is all I need as my Master turns the attached pumps on, seconds later all the air is sucked out of my latex prison and my Master takes a few seconds to look at my body.

Grabbing some latex polish my Master then covers my latex and rubs me all over, no doubt to make me a shiny latex effigy I feel something press against my pussy and I take a quick breath in. Having made sure it was secure and would not shift away from my clit, my Master turns my hitachi on medium speed and holds my nose, blocking my air as I thrust my hips against the stimulation, thrusting harder as my brain screams for fresh air my face would be almost blue if I could see it and my Master releases my nose and I suck air in as my body shakes in a denial blitz, my orgasm still unobtainable.

“Today has been fun Slave, you took alot of my cum, tomorrow ill have someone suck it out” my Master says, barely audible as he turns my light off and leaves me to squirm in your latex prison with a Hitachi buzzing on my clit.

[secretsniper2]

Part 3: New Home

You wake to the sound of an engine, and the strong hum from the toys lodged deep in your body, your still waking up after finally passing out last night but your well aware, when you completely wake up you'll be back on the edge of more orgasms and can barely move a inch to show your desperation. Moaning loud you don't expect to be heard over the combination of the engine and the device your sealed inside, clamped shut your body lays flat in the form, externally it looks like a sleeping woman with her arms by her side, inside your not sleeping, and your far from willing either. Muscles tensing uncontrollably in your pussy and ass and even the muscles in your urethra, you didn't know those muscles could shake so hard till now, but it only serves to push more of you down on the buzzing toys.

Rocking back and forth as the ride bucks you around in your rigid cast you can feel your body shift to a weird angle, your driving up a hill now. Even with your body shaking from the motions of the car, your holes shake far more than you would want them to. After what seems like hours, locked inside this hot cocoon covered in your own sweat, the engine stops and you catch your breathe as you barely hear movement outside your confinement. your eyes slam shut as a helpless “MMMPPPHHHH!!” is wrenched from your throat as fresh juices gush from your abused pussy as your body fully awakens to the savage stimulations you have been assaulted by, your mind locked only on the possibility of having a orgasm, you have been on the edge of a massive orgasm for a full day now, with no rest or stop in sight not that you could see very far with these contacts stealing your vision.

A sudden movement jolts you out of your overstimulated haze as your cruelly rolled around onto your chest, breasts pushing hard against the lid of your prison, continuing on your glad to at least be on your back again, breathing would have been hard with your breasts squeezing your lungs, feeling your body lurch forward your encased feet dig into the ground. turning on your heels your pulled by the head of your case at a uncomfortable angle, too far back to lay on your back and not up straight enough to stand, you resort to ramming your lips with your knees a few times but due to the tight fir your only able to pathetically tap against the lid, barely audible and likely would only make the sick fucker laugh at the attempt.

“How much longer will he drag me?” and “where the fuck am i?!” are the only 2 questions you want answers to right now as you continue your journey to nowhere good. At long last your placed on the ground, your thankful he didn't just drop you to the hard ground, a few clicks and your greeted with a bright light, even with your contacts dulling your vision, your straps are loosened and your eased out of your prison and set, shakily on your toes, still having your toe crushers locked to your poor feet, you teeter on the stones you stand on. Having a collar and leash locked around your thin neck your pulled forwards while you squint, desperate to recognise even a small detail that would clue you in to where you are now, you can make out a large building ahead. “Welcome home slut!” he says with a slight laugh, repulsing you at your very core, your home was a beautiful place, with everything you wanted and needed to get by, now your forced to walk in the only item you actually own.

Pushing the door open your pulled inside by the neck as you stumble to keep your balance as best you can, for what you can see, its dark and has a very foul odour, you take a light breath through the tube in your mouth, the filthy air moving over your tongue and makes you gag a little, shuddering you resort to breathing through your nose, however unpleasant it may be. Pulled suddenly your led around a corner and the man pushes a bookcase aside, revealing a door which you are then led down. The man is having a easier time walking down the stone stairs than you are, for 1 he is wearing boot and your walking on your toes, Eventually landing on a flat surface your leash continues to tug at your neck as you follow in the darkness, your eventually left to stand alone in a dark room in a house you cant escape, in heels you can barely walk in, the stairs behind you would tear your legs muscles apart if you tried to run up them. A arm wraps around you from behind, he grips your firm breast with 1 of his large hands as his other hand trails down your exposed back and rests on your ass, you involuntarily shake your ass in fear as he now has you at 2 ends and is happy with your condition.

“i hope you enjoyed the ride down, I'm sure you did in 1 way at least” he remarks as the hand cupping your ass moves between your legs and slides through the juices you likely trailed through the house till now. “i guess i don't need lube for here, I'm really going to enjoy fuck this tight cunt!” he says in your ear, shaking your head weakly as he speaks results on your nipple being seized hard and squeezed painfully forcing a gagged “mmmpppphhh nnnnnnhhh” from your mouth, the strap between your legs serving its purpose as the toys are held in deep, your womb shaking as the toy vibrates inside. Rocking your head back as your pleasure hits another peak without release your captor pushed you from the small of your back as well as pulling from your nipple, your directed further into the darkness, your contacts making sure that even if this mans eyes can adjust to the dark, your will never be able to. Your knee bumping into something hard your pushed forward as you scream out in fear, only to be caught by a bed, landing face down in its embrace you inhale deep in surprise only to regret in mere seconds later as the bed itself makes upstairs smell like a thanksgiving roast!

Holding your head into the mattress you gag uncontrollably now as your forced to keep breathing the revolting scent, feeling his hot breath against your ear he whispers “yea, that's right, your not the first cunt to be fucked down here, but i like you so much you'll be my last, at least for the next few years!”. Eyes open wide as he puts his weight down on top of you your forced further into the bed, its still damp in some places! “i fucked a nice young cunt on this very bed, i think it was 2 days before i saw you actually! she's gone now though, don't need to worry what happened to that slut, i know she enjoys her new life wherever she is!” he grunts into your ear, “this bit here” he pushes your face directly on a particularly wet spot, “this is where i finally broke the bitch, she came harder than ever and it all soaked in right here! you can practically taste her pussy cant you!” he says as he rubs your face into the wet spot before pushing you onto your back and up the other side of the bed. At least your not being forced to smell the other poor girl, but now your face is looking up as he reaches behind your head and unclips your gag, pulling it out of your mouth your ungagged for the first time “HHEEEEEEELLLLPP MEEE!!” is all you manage before your mouth is covered by his hand. “really pointless move there cunt, were deep underground in a private house in the middle of nowhere, and even IF your voice made it out of the house there wouldn't be another person around to hear you!” he whispers in your face, tears streaming down your face.

Your leash is attached to the top of the bed and the man pushes your legs open, not really having much strength to fight after your constant edging, you feel your crotch strap loosen and your vibrator removed from your pussy. it takes little effort on his part to pull his cock out of his pants and even less to push his hard cock in your flooding pussy, thrusting straight to your womb you blink back tears as he continues to hold your mouth closed, lowering his head to suck on your rigid nipples as he thrusts inside. Uncovering your mouth you whimper as he continues pounding your abused pussy with no care for your needs, your little button desperate for a touch, 1 touch to cum is all she would need in this state, but where every thrust would slam his body on your button, the shield now blocks that, constant denial is all you get as he cums hard inside you without stopping or even slowing down.

Seems like a lifetime passes, but its only been a hour, a whole hour of him ramming your sore pussy with load after load pumped directly inti your womb, “don't worry about the mess, i got something to clean you out every day, your going to love it!” he says with a laugh at the end which makes you believe otherwise, your going to hate every second of whatever he has to clean you with which only serves to make you clench in a mix of fear and anticipation oddly.. The man returns with something in each hand, dropping a cold metal thing on your chest you hear him open a can, “id offer you a drink but i don't have cum in a can, ill pick some up for you tomorrow though.” he says as he takes a drink of his beer. “this thing here is a shower head, its going to be inside your cunt when i turn it on, you'll be a waterfall for me every night!” he says with a loud laugh and all you can do with cry out “p-please don't..” which only serves to make him laugh more and answer with a “keep begging slut, your making me harder than diamonds!” causing more tears to run down your face.

Sitting on your hips the map begins to unstrap your straightjacket, pulling your weak arms from the bindings its quickly strapped in leather wristbands and locked to the top corners of your “new” bed your arms now lay against some rather sticky stains you shudder to imagine what it is.. laying on the bed your ass and urethra continue to hum madly inside you, “please let me cum” you manage to say through a sore throat, “i need to cum” to which he looks at your shielded clit and taps the case, “you want me to play with this little thing don't you” he says, clearly pointing at your covered button, nodding furiously at his question. “be a good little slave and i may make you cum on Christmas!“ the man laughs as he slaps your pussy harder than ever, “its all about me down here, you got that? i don't give a shit if you don't cum, your cunt is keeping itself all lubed up and ready for a fucking anytime! why would i ruin that so you can have a fucking orgasm??” the man was clearly not going to let you cum its as simple as anything could be.

Pushing your vibrator back inside your throbbing pussy he rams it back into your sensitive womb and walks away, leaving you to the mercy of the 3 powerful toys pulsing away inside you. “PLEASE!! PLEASE LET ME CUUM!!” you scream as you hear a door close upstairs. your all alone again with your holes filled with strong toys, held on edge once again but at least your mouth isn't gagged, but if what the man said was true, there isn't anyone around for a long time and you don't know how far he took you in his car! your just laying on this seedy rape bed while your only form of clothes would be your toe crushers still adorning your feet. Hearing the door open once again the man returns to your bedside with a hose in his hand, “i think I'm going to put your cunt to sleep early so i think ill clean it out now, while pumping you full is on my mind!” he laughs as he connects the hose to the showerhead he mentioned earlier, removing your vibrator he lines up the long, cold metal dildo and slowly pushes the freezing cock into your pussy. “Stop PLEASE IT COLD!!” you start to scream as the man continues to push it slowly inside you, your womb swallowing the tip greedily, betraying you.

Getting the dildo in as deep as it can go your rewarded with a blast of freezing water in your womb! cramping ever muscle you have your pussy clamps down hard on the metal cock as the man begins to brutally fuck you with it, pumping constantly as freezing water gushes from your pussy, the pain and numbness setting in as fast as the water flows, the tap it turned off and the water stops. its over for now.. but you remember he said this was your new daily routine.. “please don't.. not again!” you manage to cry out only to be met with laughter, “if you don't shut up its going in your ass next! how long till the water runs out your pretty mouth i wonder!” your mouth slams shut instantly at those words, you don't know and you never want to know… Hearing him stand and turn he call to you as you lay on your bed, legs and pussy covered in freezing water, muscles all over your body cramping constantly, “now gets some sleep cunt, your going to need it!” as he closes the door, leaving you alone again to do as he said.. your eyes close and you drift to sleep quickly, clearly exhausted after a day like this with tomorrow only promising fresh new horrors.

[sombreboy]

Sounding⇢kth x jjk

⇢18+ ⇢pairing: Taehyung x Jungkook ⇢genre: Smut, fluff, mxm ⇢word count: 2.7k ⇢warnings: profanity | sounding (insertion of tools inside of the urethra, please don't try this without proper research. THIS IS FICTIONAL, I don't know everything and this is purely for horny purposes so don't mind anything being a bit unrealistic, ily) | Kook's praise kink shines through | Kook cums down Tae's throat yum | Tae cums in Koo's little ass double yum

A/N: Serves as an ‘after story’ within the Love Maze series AU, however can also be read on it’s own.

Also big xoxo’s to my lovely @chimoona​ for making the banner. <3

Taehyung & Jungkook experiment with sounding...

“So... how the hell do we use this, again?”

Taehyung carefully examined the long, thin rod in his hand--looking at it as if it was a bomb just waiting to explode. He’s read about the potential injuries and trauma it could bring, not to mention the high risk of infection.. Despite everything, though, the excitement surpassed his fear of hurting Jungkook. Taehyung knew himself, he’d be extra careful— Kook could trust him.. sorta. “Shit, should we watch that video again?” Tae wasn’t too convinced. “I know it goes inside your dick but I don’t wanna hurt you. What if I push down too hard and it makes you bleed or something..?" He was petrified, he’d finally admitted that his confidence was only an illusion, no more, no less. “Fuck, can you die from this?”

"Don't worry too much." Jungkook chuckled as he got undressed, crawling up on the bed to rest his back against the headboard. Honestly, he was just as nervous, and Taehyung's worries didn't really soothe his own. But the elder didn't need to know that. "We just have to be careful, okay? Here, let me try..." Kook reached for the tool, examining it in his hand before his gaze travels down to his dick. It really shouldn't be that hard, right? "I'll start and... get a feel." Jungkook used his free hand to lightly stroke himself to a half erection, thumb spreading the light bead of precum seeping out of his tip. He was excited. He grabbed the bottle of lube next to him, squirting some on his tip and on the small rod, spreading it to make sure it was properly slick before gently prodding his hole. His eyebrows were drawn together in utter focus, lips lightly parting in a quiet huff when he pushed it in a little further.

Taehyung’s eyes were determinedly focused on the real-life projection in front of him, reassuringly smoothing his hand over Jungkook’s tense thigh whilst he watched, wetting his lips. “You okay, baby?” The elder’s voice was low, raspy. Now that he noticed part of the thin rod gradually descending into his boyfriend’s delicate cock, Taehyung felt his own erection twitch-- and he didn’t know if it was due to imaginable pain or pleasure. “Fuck.. you’re doing so good, baby.” His hand hesitantly rested above Jungkook’s, adding a bit of extra pressure, keeping his gaze glued onto Kook’s face for any sign of major discomfort. The other hand was attached to his needy dick, jerking himself off slowly to the new sight of the younger, showering himself in the quiet groans that escaped past Jungkook’s lips. “So good, that’s my boy..”

''Yeah, it's..'' A quiet moan slipped past Kook's lips at the added pressure, feeling the small rod carefully stretch his urethra. The feeling was... odd, new. A little uncomfortable, but not unpleasant. ''It's not bad..'' Jungkook shudders slightly under the praise, visibly relaxing his muscles with the help of his boyfriends soothing, warm hand. He couldn't help but let his eyes wander to Taehyung, watching him touch himself-- only causing the younger's cock to harden further, tightening around the small tool inside of it. ''Ah, god.... '' Jungkook bit his lower lip, pushing it inside further until it's practically all the way down, stopping before it would poke anything at the other end inside. He let it sit still, adjusting to the foreign feeling, cock clenching around it as it twitched in his grip. The hand holding his length instinctively stroked his velvety skin, his tight eyebrows loosening immediately at the sensation of both ends of his flesh. ''It's getting good...'' Jungkook carefully moved the rod back up, only to insert it again, this time a bit faster. ''Shit..'' He looked at Taehyung as he kept moving the tool, slowly, in and out of his lightly stretched hole. ''Getting really good...Please, want you to use it on me.''

“Fuck, okay..” Aside from the obvious, Taehyung was also really fucking excited. The discordant sounds Jungkook spilled had him on edge, and if it wasn’t for the much-needed distraction, Tae would’ve come right then and there. His boyfriend appeared to be in a state of bliss, and the elder wanted to contribute; he wanted to be the one who made Jungkook squirm— not some metal rod alone.. Taehyung’s fingers held on to the circular top, ensuring he had a tight grip on the slender object before gently driving it inwards, slowly getting swallowed by Jungkook’s cock. Precum accumulated at the younger’s tip, and Kook’s dick was as hard as a rock; it was the hardest he'd ever seen it.. The sight alone fascinated Tae, and he found himself loosening up. “You’re taking it in so well, pretty. Fuck you’re gorgeous.” Taking a small leap, Taehyung pushed it in deeper, and deeper until he couldn’t go any further. The elder wiggled it ever so slightly, searching for any change of expression in Jungkook’s slack face. “Does it— does it hurt? Tell me if it hurts.” His concerned gaze lingered, even when Taehyung practically fucked the metal piece in and out of Kook’s urethra-- carefully. He wasn’t as nervous as before for his coming turn, seeing how much Jungkook enjoyed it definitely eased his initial fears.

"Oh! Wha...." Jungkook couldn't even finish his sentence before Taehyung had wiggled the tool inside of him, reaching just deep enough to brush against his prostate from a completely new angle. It drew an entirely new sound to slip through the younger lips, one of complete satisfaction mixed with shock. "Doesn't hurt, keep going." Kook kept slowly stroking himself to add to the pleasure with one hand while the other held his length still, throwing his neck back against the headboard. "Please, please, keep going, haa..." he whined with his doe eyes still fixed on the elders intense stare back, being watched so closely only adding to Kook's pleasure.

Taehyung listened. It made no difference if he was on the giving or receiving end of things, Tae always listened-- he wanted to please Jungkook, and who else knew the way to the latter’s body better than its owner? “Goddamn, you needy little thing..” The elder thrusted the metal rod harder into Kook’s cock, repeatedly prodding at his prostate- loving the way Jungkook’s face twisted from pleasure and pleasure alone. “My needy little thing..” Stepping out of his comfort zone, Taehyung unwaveringly screwed the thin object tighter into Jungkook, calloused knuckles pressed onto the younger’s tip. “You like that? Tell me how much you like it.” "Oh, f-fuck..!" Jungkook's eyes fluttered shut, mouth hanging open as heavy, hot huffs of breaths escaped his lips. "I like it, I love it, Tae... hitting just the spot-- ah.." He couldn't describe the feeling entirely, but he was sure that he felt the little rod prod at his prostate and building up his climax. However, he wouldn't be able to cum unless the elder pulled the rod out of him...  Subconsciously the younger hips started to rut upwards, eyebrows drawn together once more as he focuses on the building heat in his lower stomach. "Keep going, keep going... I'll want to cum soon, okay? I'll tell you... wanna cum in your mouth."

The elder’s drive was increased by a million when he heard Jungkook’s proposition. Suddenly, his throat was beginning to lose a bit of its natural moisture— his boyfriends cum was sure to fix that.. “I love seeing you like this, so needy ‘n whiny.” Taehyung pulled the rod out almost all the way, only for him to plunge it back down, making sure to hold back on his hand’s strength. The elder didn’t want to hurt him, so for now, his steady pace was deemed enough. “Fuck, you gonna cum soon? Wanna taste you, babe..” He thrusted the slender metal into Jungkook’s about-to-erupt cock over and over again, his other hand gripping onto the younger’s thigh; stabilizing the both of them. His boyfriend looked too delicious, Tae longed to get a taste.

"Y-yeah, oh my g-god..." Jungkooks body trembled just as much as his unsteady voice did, face morphing into an expression displaying pleasure, frustration, and desperation all at once. He was right on the edge, kept there by the fact that the small rod was blocking the path, the constant prodding making his body feel like it was on fire. "I wanna cum, please, let me cum Taehyung-- pull it o-out.." Jungkook whined like a puppy, rutting his hips upwards as he reached out to grab Taehyung's wrist. "in your mouth, baby, swallow it all okay?"

“You wanna cum?” Taehyung mockingly repeated as if he wasn’t about to grant Jungkook the freedom to burst loose— in his mouth, of all places. “Such a good boy, so obedient..” The elder pushed the rod down, making sure it rigorously toyed with his boyfriend’s prostate, wanting him to spill every drop that’d been leading up to this moment. Taehyung craved it. When he saw that Jungkook was about to explode, dick squeezing tight around the thin rod, Tae pulled it out. He wrapped his lips around the tip, closing his eyes whilst he dove in deeper, whines muffled from the fast-paced eruption of cum staining the back of his throat.

"Aaah, fuck yes...!" Jungkook immediately allowed his fingers to twirl into Taes dark curls, tugging him closer to keep him in place as he cums down his throat, body curling forward due to the intensity of his orgasm. "Cummin' so much a-ah.." his voice breaks, hips stuttering as he rides out his high, thigh muscles clenching and unclenching with every pulse of his cock. He finally stills down, gently running his fingers through Taehyung's hair as he loosened his grip. "I swear, that was... intense, shit." He breathed out, eyes admiring the way his boyfriend took his release down his throat. "Bet you're aching to try it too.."

Taehyung withdrew from Jungkook’s cock seconds after, wiping at his slightly swollen lips with the back of his hand. From how much cum his boyfriend emitted, Tae didn’t doubt it was intense.. It had him both eager and anxious. But, the eagerness was starting to overtake his mind-- Jungkook looked like he enjoyed the shit out of it, why wouldn’t he? “Uh, yeah.. shit, just.. ‘m nervous, but I trust you.” Taking a hold of his own dick, it was Taehyung’s turn to lay his back against the bed’s headrest, slouching down comfortably. “Just put it in,” Tae chewed on his lower lip, staring at Jungkook expectantly.

''Don't worry, I'll be careful.'' Jungkook reassured as he got on his knees in front of Taehyung, wiping the metal rod clean before reaching for the lube. He pours a generous amount into his hand, coating the rod and his boyfriend's tip. He wanted to make sure he got just as good of an experience, if not better. ''Just enjoy, baby. It might be a little uncomfortable at first.'' Jungkook spread the lube around the head of Tae's cock before letting his hand hold his length by the shaft. He carefully let the metal tool tease his boyfriends hole, eyes fixed on the latter to keep up with his reactions. So far so good. The younger made the decision to push it in, the lube providing an easy glide. He slowed down as it got tighter, letting Taehyung adjust to the feeling as he slowly stroked Tae's cock. ''Good?''

“O-oh.. shit— woah..” Taehyung winced, gaze set downwards where the cool, slim tool remained still inside of his stiffening cock. It was.. different, but it wasn’t a feeling he didn’t enjoy. “Yeah— yeah, I’m good..” The elder relished in the way his boyfriend’s hand caressed his length, resting his head against the headboard whilst he stared at Jungkook; bracing himself for whatever the younger had in store. “Fuck, I bet you like seeing me like this, don’t you? With practically a stick down my dick.” Taehyung burrowed his face in the palm of his hands, shoulders faintly shaking as he embarrassingly chuckled. Never in a million years did he think he’d be exploring such a thing in the bedroom.. It wasn’t unheard of, to everyone else but him.. “But shit, it feels kinda good..” Tae shakily breathed out, staring at his rock-hard cock in Jungkook’s hand, needy as he bucked up his hips.

"I love seeing you like this baby.." Jungkook assured. Noting how needy his boyfriend was already getting for more, the younger provided exactly that. He slowly moved the tool in and out, pushing deeper every time until he prodded at the prostate in the new angle he'd explored and found himself earlier. "Feels better and better doesn't it? Fuck, your cock looks so pretty..." Kook was in awe at the sight of Tae's reddened tip, the hole stretched perfectly by the cylinder rod. His other hand continues to stroke the thick girth, a little harder- he knew Taehyung was a tad bit more... masochistic. "Right here, this is what made me go insane baby.." Jungkook breathed out his words, feeling his own cock come to life again at the mere memory of the feeling as he fucked the rod deeper, thoroughly making sure it reached that exact spot.

Taehyung arched his back from off the headrest, legs tensing up whilst his toes curled inwards, the merciless prodding against his prostate causing him to mumble foul claims of approval under his breath. His face distorted into one of fulfillment, slowly rocking his hips as he indulged himself in the dark, eyes closed while Jungkook played with him. “Fuuuck..! That is good.” Tae grunted, taut muscles gradually loosening by the second. This felt like actual heaven— Taehyung was sure. “Fuck yes..”

Jungkook's eyes flickered between his boyfriend's face and his swollen cock, clamping down on his lower lip in frustration. The younger’s cock was throbbing again, growing needy for more attention-- even if this was supposed to be all about Taehyung. He couldn't help it, the elder was too fucking sexy. "Fuck, I want your cock in me so bad..." Kook huffs out in a needy whine, inching closer to watch himself continuously stroke and prod at the sensitive tissue inside of Taes length, his other hand moving to massage his boyfriends balls. "I wonder how much you'd cum, shit...."

Taehyung moaned, shameless gaze glued onto Jungkook’s face, then the latter’s torso— and finally his boyfriend’s dick. Kook seemed like he’d burst once again, and that turned Tae on to the max. “Shit.. ‘m gonna cum so much because of you..!” Taehyung hissed through his clamped teeth, the rocking of his hips getting stronger; and his release getting closer. “Kook I’m gonna cum soon— pull it out and put my cock in you, fuck, wanna cum inside so bad..”

He didn't have to tell Jungkook twice, who immediately pulled the tool out, carelessly tossing it aside- it was his turn now. As fun as the little new toy was, he always wanted to be the number one thing that makes Taehyung lose his mind in pleasure. He eagerly crawls on top of his boyfriend to straddle him, no need for much prep as he's been craving the elders cock for a hot minute-- and conveniently Tae's length was coated with lube. He spread himself, sinking down on Tae's turgid cock with ease, groaning in satisfaction. The stretch was everything he needed. "So big, fuck yes..." Kook whined, using his weight to plop down harder until his ass pressed against the elders skin.

Taehyung’s hands unclasped from their spot on his firm thighs, and instead clutched onto Jungkook’s hips as he controlled his boyfriend’s grinding motion; head resting against the headboard whilst he stared into Kook’s eager eyes. “Always so fuckin’ tight, aren’t you?” The elder thrusted upwards into him, jaw muscles loosening, but everything else contracted. Fuck, Tae was close— every little movement had him aching. His dick twitched and hammered inside of Jungkook, causing Taehyung’s lips to take the shape of a scowl, grunting as he fucked into the younger with all his might. “Fuck fuck— fuck! A-ahh..!” His body lurched forward, breathing heavy onto the crook of his boyfriend’s neck as he felt his cum pool onto his pelvis, every shed dropped far too much to be able to stay snug inside of Jungkook. “Damn.. that was.. something.” Taehyung lazily smiled, chest yet to stop heaving. His big hands snaked downwards to cup the younger’s ass, giving the flesh a few squeezes. “Wasn’t bad, I liked it.” Taehyung shrugged. “But I prefer something called, ‘my boyfriend’s fat ass’ over any toy.”

© sombreboy 2020. Do not repost, edit or translate.

co-written with lovely @velvetwicebang​ <3 ily

[glitterxxkitten]

I said I wouldn’t be that guy so a friend set up a go fund me to make sure I can pay for Gus surgery after his crazy ER vet bills. Any shares or help is appreciated. Gustavo keeps getting blocked and without surgery this will happen randomly if I can’t keep his diet perfectly controlled which is so hard to do with 3 other animals in the house 😖

https://gofund.me/959278a8

[iloveyou3thousand]

limits

Pairing: Starker Rating: Explicit Word count: 2305 A/N: This is for the @starkerfestivals​ Summer Bingo, and fills the prompt ‘sounding’. 

Summary: Tony has something that he thinks Peter might like to try. Peter enjoys it far more than he ever thought he would.

Read it on AO3 here!

TWs: PWP, sounding, barebacking, overstimulation, top tony and bottom peter

—————————————————————————————

Tony noticed, quite a while ago, that whenever he was sucking Peter off, the boy went particularly limp when he passed his tongue over the very tip of the head, or lapped precome from the slit.

That wasn’t anything unusual, since that part was usually pretty sensitive, but the more Tony experimented with the area the more he realized that it wasn’t just general sensitivity, and it wasn’t just the head of Peter’s pretty cock.

So he made Peter an offer to see if his theories were right, and to his satisfaction, Peter agreed to try what he suggested.

The next time their goodnight kiss and cuddle turned into something more akin to heavy petting, Tony pulled back to look at Peter with an inquiring smile. His hand on Peter’s cock squeezed gently, and Peter’s eyes fluttered shut as he groaned softly in the back of his throat.

Tony loved seeing that, and it made him all the more excited to see what he thought he would see once he brought out the toys he’d bought especially for this occasion.

“Wanna try something new tonight?” Tony purred against Peter’s collarbone where he pressed a soft kiss.

Peter hummed, and it was all the verbal agreement he was going to get, for now.

“What is it?” Peter asked.

Tony extracted himself from their embrace and stepped out of bed. He made a beeline for the walk-in and returned with a small, oblong, black box, that visibly piqued Peter’s curiosity. He handed it to the boy, who opened it to reveal the six silver rods inside with silver rings on one end, only a few inches long but all different girths, from something about as thin as a screwdriver to one as thick as a finger.

Peter’s brows knitted together before he even looked up at Tony.

“What is this?” he asked.

Tony tried not to grin too widely as he climbed back onto bed and started helping Peter out of his underwear where he sat up against the headboard.

“Those, my little spiderling, are sounds.”

Clearly Peter had never heard of them before. He didn’t look any more enlightened than he had when he’d first opened the box, brows still furrowed and eyes inquisitive on Tony.

“Fetch me the lube please?” Tony asked, and gave a little kiss to the head of Peter’s cock. It hadn’t yet flagged, and Tony thought that it wasn’t going to – but they had yet to find out.

Peter did as he’d been told and twisted toward the bedside table to grab one of the bottles of lube from the top drawer, and he handed it to Tony. Tony poured some out onto his hand and spread it over Peter’s cock when he’d warmed it on his palm. Still, Peter hissed at the coolness, and Tony gave a consolatory kiss to the inside of his thigh.

Tony instructed Peter to hand him the smallest sound, which he proceeded to slick up with lube as well under Peter’s watchful, curious but cautious eye.

“Do you trust me?” Tony asked Peter.

Peter pulled a face. “With my life. Duh.”

“Good. Then let me show you something I think you’re going to like.”

Peter was quiet and just watched Tony’s hand on his cock, which meant that although he might have still been a little apprehensive, because he always was when Tony wouldn’t exactly tell him what they were about to do except for that he thought Peter would like it, he did want him to continue. After all, so far Tony had been spot on with everything new he wanted to try. Peter had always liked it. And he did trust him, very much.

Tony positioned the dull end of the pin to the little hole in the head of Peter’s cock and circled it gently, and Peter immediately gasped at the sensation.

It was true that that particular spot had always been more sensitive than the rest of his cock. And now Tony was taking advantage of it. Slowly but surely, even if not entirely consciously, Peter began to realize what it was that Tony was going to do with all of those little silver dowels.

And sure enough, soon Tony stopped the circular motion, and gently pushed the pin inside, and Peter watched astonishedly how it disappeared inside his cock.

But the sensation was what really did it for him.

He could barely stop his writhing, his toes flexing and muscles tensing and legs twitching as he felt how the cold travelled down his urethra, slowly inching toward his bladder. It stopped when the ring touched to Peter’s cock, effectively blocking him up, and Peter moaned when Tony linked his finger through the ring and subsequently twisted it.

He threw his head back, pushing hard against the pillow behind him as if that would ease the wonderful pressure that the toy inside of him was creating. It was in vain.

“Fuck,” Peter hissed, hands not quite knowing where to grasp but trying to grab at whatever he could reach. One hand found the bedsheets, while the other found Tony’s arm, the one with which he was now slowly twisting the pin. He wasn’t trying to stop him though. Wouldn’t dare. If anything, he wanted him to continue, and give him… “More. Please.”

Clearly, Tony didn’t have to be told twice. He grinned, and kissed at the head of Peter’s cock once, just next to the ring, and he slowly began pulling the toy out again.

It was arguably an even stranger feeling than when it went in, but still so very good, so very welcome. Peter nearly doubled over with the pleasure of it, cursing again until the toy was fully out, and his cock dropped against his belly when Tony let go, thick and aching.

“Good to see you’re taking it so well,” Tony purred, “That was only the beginning. The first one is always easiest.”

He took the second one, lathered it up same as the first, and wasted no time getting it into Peter. And like he’d said, this one didn’t go as smoothly, needing a little twisting and turning and gentle prodding before it sank in like the first one had. Peter was mesmerized watching it disappear into his cock, his little peehole stretching around it, helpless. Nothing like this had ever been done to it, and Peter wondered if it would ever be the same again. Especially if they made it to the biggest dowel.

It should have frightened or disturbed Peter that he frankly didn’t care what would happen to it at all.

It felt too good. Far too good. And Peter didn’t want that feeling to go away.

When he’d gotten used to the second size, with Tony slowly pumping it in and out of him, movements always cautious and keeping a close eye on Peter in case he was uncomfortable and he needed to pull out – but Peter showed no signs of discomfort. Only pleasure.

The discomfort only really came with the fourth pin. The third was manageable after Tony had taken his time with the second one, but the forth seemed significantly larger in size, and it took Peter’s body some getting used to. He had to adjust. The stretch was magnificent, he had to admit, but he was growing more and more sensitive.

Tony took his sweet time and eventually the toy settled all the way inside Peter, who now lay panting against the pillows, already boneless but still grabbing at the bedsheets, a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead.

He’d never been more hard in his life. He knew that much.

After seeing how much Peter struggled to take the fourth size, Tony suggested they leave it at that, but Peter was greedy now. He’d seen himself take this, so now he wanted more. He wanted to see exactly how far he could go, how far Tony could stretch him. He was starting to realize that if there was one thing he always seemed to like, it was being pushed to his limits. And this was definitely pushing his limits.

“Just tell me if it’s too much,” tony eventually conceded, and took the fourth toy out to the sound of Peter’s wanton moans and got the fifth one ready.

Peter couldn’t believe his body took it. He couldn’t believe that his cock stretched around the dowel like that, time after time, adjusting to the size and allowing the new coolness to travel down. So much lube had been added that he was almost convinced he could feel it in his bladder, and that, too, was something he never thought he’d find as arousing as he did.

Peter screamed when Tony forced in the sixth one. He didn’t allow Tony to stop though. And if the look on the other man’s face was anything to go by, Peter could say with confidence that Tony liked it very much, too. Hell, he’d seen him rut against the mattress or his own thigh a few times. He could imagine that Tony was hard as a rock himself.

It surprised Peter that he hadn’t come yet, because it had built up past the point of orgasm and into something he couldn’t quite explain. Overstimulation was at the heart of it, and yet Peter didn’t want Tony to stop.

“I want to fuck you,” Tony told Peter breathlessly when the toy was finally in and tears were running down Peter’s cheeks, his expression pinched and breath coming quickly.

“Please,” Peter could only breathe out the words, voice barely above a whisper.

He couldn’t move on his own volition even if he tried, so Tony helped him put a pillow under his hips and angle him in a way that would allow him easy access. He kept one hand around Peter’s cock with a finger through the ring keeping the sound in place, while his other hand pushed down his jeans to reveal that he was, indeed, hard and leaking. He lubed himself up quickly, and nudged the head of his cock against Peter’s hole.

The feeling of being breached unstretched was nothing compared to what was going on with his cock. And Peter was already crying anyway, overwhelmed with painful pleasure. The feelings combined would have thrown him over the edge if it hadn’t been for the toy inside of him, effectively keeping him from doing anything until Tony allowed him to.

And that… Oh, god, that. That was it.

Peter keened when Tony’s cock brushed up against his prostate, sending a fresh wave of desperate tears down his cheeks. The man’s hand started to move up and down his cock, stroking him while the toy was still inside, and occasionally pulling it out an inch to give Peter the illusion of oncoming freedom only to push it back in again.

He did that for a little while, stroking Peter’s cock with one hand and toying with the ring with the other while he rocked into him to chase his own pleasure. When he pulled out completely, Peter nearly yelped, his breath catching in his throat at the sudden feeling of emptiness, and when he looked down he just about caught sight of his hole, stretched out and slick with lube – but that didn’t last very long. Tony grabbed at his cock with one hand and promptly, without any kind of warning, shoved his index finger into his abused urethra.

Peter cried out. Tony’s finger was thicker than the toy, and would only fit until the second knuckle, but it was a different sensation altogether.

And it was… oh. Oh, it was wonderful.

Tony pumped his finger like he was stretching him up, as if Peter was about to take his cock. He knew that it wouldn’t be possible, but god, part of him kind of wanted it to be possible.

Peter was shaking, tears blurring his vision and his body limp with exhaustion, but his muscles still protested on their own volition, twitching and jumping and trying so desperately to force his body to come. But as long as Tony didn’t allow him to, it wouldn’t happen.

Tony fucked into both holes until Peter was absently aware that he was showing signs of nearing orgasm. And when Tony came, he promptly pulled his finger out and stroked Peter’s cock roughly while pushing his pulsating cock up against the boy’s prostate deep inside of him, and there was nothing else for Peter to do except follow him suit – spilling hotly across his own stomach, the spurts slow and thick, dribbling out of his abused peehole until he was absolutely spent.

Tony slowly pulled out, and as the cherry on top, dipped down to take Peter’s wrecked cock into his mouth to suckle at the damage he’d inflicted, and help Peter through the aftershocks.

He cleaned Peter up, and cleaned the toys before storing them away, and when he came back to Peter in the bed and glanced at the boy’s cock, he was satisfied to see that it was already relaxing back into something a little more normal.

Peter looked more satisfied than he’d ever been.

“How was that?” Tony asked when he went to lie down next to him and pull him close, which Peter happily allowed, giving a contented sigh.

“I have no words,” Peter replied sleepily, “Just wanna do it again, and again, and again, and again, and again…” He trailed off, and Tony laughed softly.

“So the finger wasn’t too much?”

Peter moaned for emphasis. “It wasn’t enough.”

Tony thought about that for a moment, and with a grin, he pressed a loving kiss to Peter’s forehead.

“That’s great to hear, baby. Next time will be fun. I have a cute little bullet vibrator that I think you might like.”

[those-garsh-darn-homos]

My encounter with God

I used to be a person of high faith, and I believed there was a higher deity looking down on us. The question of whether that deity is a man, woman, or not even human at all, had always plagued me, or the reasoning for their indecisiveness on so many issues in the world. Just like so many others, I would sit awake on nights and ask, how could a God allow such evil to flourish in this world? Such injustice to go unchallenged and unresolved. My first encounter with God, came just I did.

It was a late, sleepless night. The day had been long and hard, and the week had been worse. Life was moulding together into a miasma of daily tasks that I completed with no true accomplishment being felt by the end of any of them. So, there I lay, looking at the ceiling, asking myself questions that I did not have the answer to such as “why was I here? What purpose do I even have anymore? Would anyone miss me if I disappeared tomorrow?”. I had ostracized myself from social circles in order to distance myself from any further stress and conflict in life, but the decision had only brought me more pain and misery. Nothing could help me get out of this pit of despair I had dug myself into, not drugs, not sex, not even the fucking tube. I was well and truly hopeless, in every sense of the word. Despite my internal philosophical conversation, I still felt natural urges that needed satisfying, as my thoughts suddenly shifted to a pair of double-D breasts I had saw on the bus that particular day. I sighed and reluctantly unzipped my fly, preparing to charm the one-eyed snake like so many nights before. First, I envisioned touching them, feeling them up like one might do to the melons in the fruit aisle. I slowly moved up to rubbing my face against them, feeling my airways being blocked by sacks of colostrum. Finally, the fantasy involved me hotdogging the two globes while twisting the mammary glands sensually, since it wasn’t only my enjoyment that mattered at the end of the day, right? I could feel the climax on the horizon, the body tensing, mind racing, breathing manic, until it happened, and my life was changed forever. As the semen ran up the urethra, time slowed, what was seconds, became a minute, and my sense of reality shifted momentarily. My dark, humid, piss scented bedroom, was filled with an overwhelming light, so much that my eyes began to water. A figure stood in front of me, and as strange as the situation was, I did not feel scared, but more as though I was in a familiar old family home. The figure stood, illuminated and shadowed by a beam of light emanating from behind them. They outstretched their arms to me and began to speak, but as I heard their first words, it all disappeared, the light, the figure, the vision, it was all over within a minute. I grabbed my chest as I felt my heart racing from the incident, thinking I had gone mad or had some sort of stroke. I cleaned up my cum covered body and went to bed, thinking of the figure, and why the vision had affected me so deeply. It didn’t concern me as much as I thought it should. Words at the time could not explain my feelings or emotions towards the event. For such a bizarre event, it didn’t feel out of place in the slightest, in fact I felt oddly calm and understanding about the vision.

I woke up the next morning and went about my day, feeling far more peaceful and fulfilled then I ever had. I had thought of myself as a hopeless case for so long that the feeling of peace was so foreign to me. I had conversations with people, I enjoyed what I was doing, thinking of that figure the whole time. I was never really a believer in the paranormal or anything of the such, but any rational explanation that I tried to tell myself, I found it was all just so unsatisfactory, it didn’t explain it. It wasn’t in my head, it was real, somehow, it shouldn’t have been, but it was. The workday ended and I was left to walk home. Once there I partook in the usual time wasters, TV, food, reading, but as midnight neared, I felt the urges again, like clockwork. I held my manhood in one hand and stared into the ceiling, waiting for the climax, and when it did, my eyes were met with blinding lights once again. I felt as though I was the deer in headlights, taking aback by the incandescent glow, body frozen in time as it’s beauty shun upon me. The figure stood before me once again and I asked “who are you?” and as the light dimmed and the vision weakened, I heard their reply “God”. It didn’t last as long this time. What was a minute last night, only felt like 30 seconds this time. It was definitely shorter.

Fears related to my own sanity began to rush my thoughts. I really had gone mad if I was talking to God, but it didn’t feel like some sort of imagination, it attacked all my senses. Incense burning, light shining, angels singing, my mind couldn’t have possibly created that, could it? I went to get a CAT scan the next day. When they slotted me into the machine, I was expecting them to find some sort of brain bleed or tumour that was inducing visions but they assured me there was nothing on the scan. While it was relieving in one aspect, at the same time I was no closer to understanding the reason for these visions, and I was apprehensive to disclose that I was seeing God every time I orgasmed to a phycologist, knowing they’d probably lock me up in the looney bin.

Weeks passed and fear of seeing God had gripped my soul tighter than a virgin’s ass. I couldn’t stand the thought of seeing them for seconds, all those questions I would have, all those arguments that I wouldn’t be able to have in that little time we do have together. Their glow, it filled me with feelings I hadn’t felt since I was a child. Such feelings of safety and protection I had thought I had forgotten so long ago, and yet came back to me like familiar tunes in the back recesses of my memory. Why me? Why would I be visited by God, when there are those on the verge of death that need guidance from such a figure. I don’t even go to church. Motivation filled me however, I felt imbued with creativity, to fulfil my dreams and do what I wanted to do, not what I was told. I created art, stories that I was proud of. I put them out for the whole world to see, to share in my pride of my creations, and for once in a long time, I felt happy with myself.

The solutions to my problem had been narrowed down to divine intervention. I would have to enlist the help of the Catholic clergy if I wanted to understand any of this madness. I visited a church and asked the Priest for guidance. We sat and he asked what was troubling me. I responded to his question with one of my own. “Father, have you ever actually met him?” I said, he bowed his head in assurance and replied, “The lord watches over us, there is no need for him to speak to us” which I took as a no. If he had never met God himself, then why is he a fucking priest? What is holding his faith together? “I did, last night Father, as I pleasured myself, I saw them, there was a light and they spoke to me. I keep seeing them but only for seconds now, not even, I see them in a glimpse now. I have tried to stop but every time I see them I feel at peace with myself, their glow is just has ineffable effects on my soul, it gives me faith in myself, more than it does in God” He once again understood and wrapped an arm around me in comfort, “Do you believe God has come to you for a certain reason my child?” yet as he said it, I didn’t have an answer for him, “I’ve lost my faith? Could that be why they came to me? I’ve also been stuck in a cycle of self-loathing, it’s hard for me to love myself Father, I try so hard, but life keeps seeming more pointless by the day. I ask myself why we’re here, why I’M here, but I never have the answer. I have lost my purpose for life. Do you think God visited me to help me re-follow the path of righteousness?” He assured me that God had a plan for me, as did he for all of us. “Your worries are needless my son, God does not put us here for no reason, there is always a bigger picture just beyond our view. We may never fully see it, but the important thing is we are always contributing to it”. His words did comfort me, and his guidance did assist me. I knew I would have to find a way to ask God what his plan was, if I had any hope of understanding anything in this world or my future. I could not sit back and know that the answers to everything were in my grasp, I could only see them for mere seconds that was the problem. Like a dog being teased with the scent of fresh meat, I was salivating and in desperate need of sustenance, only of the mental verity instead of the digestive.

In desperate times, desperate measures become viable options, and in this time, I had only one. My interactions with the Holy ghost had become flashes, missed if I so much as blinked. I would only get a syllable out to them if I was lucky and then the light would fade in an instant. For months I hypothesized ways to achieve a state of orgasm for longer since I had narrowed that exact moment as I achieve climax to be the one moment where they come to me. I had come to the realization that women achieve longer orgasms than men thanks to the large amount of nerves in their clitoris which was specifically intended for pleasure and nothing else. At first, I was worried about the implications of becoming a transgender woman, leaving behind my previous sex for a life filled with the hardships of a female in such a male dominated world, but I couldn’t miss my opportunity to help the world, if it meant waving farewell to my magnum private eye, then so be it. It took a few weeks but once I had begun taking the estrogen to start the process, my body became far more sensitive to any slightest touch. Soft breezes against my skin tickled the hairs on my arm and gave the sensation of feathers running up and down my back. I knew the treatment was working when the light returned, this time for at least ten seconds. He knew how much joy I felt seeing him again and did not ruin the emotion thick in the air by speaking, they only outstretched their hand, and placed it in my own. I closed my eyes as I held on tight, and while the light may have faded, I felt their hand in mine for all of that night, giving me more love than I had ever experienced in my life, just from their hand alone. I refused to open my eyes, to see them gone, so I simply lay, holding on until I fell into unconsciousness.

Time passed as it does, and I had refrained from pleasure of any kind until I would finally have my clitoris. With this golden ticket to speaking with the lord of all life, I would be able to right the world of all wrongs, to answer questions long thought to be forgotten and impossible to comprehend. I would have the knowledge of Gods and save the world from itself, to rectify humanity and all of it’s selfishness and greed. People would look up to me, they would see my wisdom and share in it, bringing about a new age of humanity. I would be a prophet, the next Moses or Muhammed, come to set the world on it’s proper path.

The day of the surgery came and before I went under, I envisioned speaking with him, I thought of every question, I would bring the worlds woes upon his shoulders and make him fix it. As our creator he would have to do exactly that. The surgeons began their procedure, and I could feel the beginning of my new life had started in this very moment. No longer would time be a hinderance to my meetings with God, no longer would I have seconds to speak with no words spoken in that time, no longer would their omnipotence go unnoticed, they would have to answer to me, they would have to fix it all. My prayers could no longer be drowned out when I was the only one standing in front of them, they would have to bring my father back, they would have to fix my finances, they would have to make all sickness cease and death an afterthought of the human condition. Perhaps they had simply been ignorant to the cries of help from humanity and all those in desperate need to divine intervention. The amount of people they simply watched die, and for what? Joy? How could they sit and watch that every day? Never feeling guilt upon their shoulders. It’s sick to think of God as some sadist, but to not do anything for these people, why else would they do it? He can help them, can’t he? If God is good, how can he simply watch us suffer? Is he really omnipotent, or have we just assumed that he is in fact a God above man? Every horrible thing done onto me throughout my life, flashed in my head as I underwent that sex change surgery, everything that God sat back and watched happen, and in that moment, I hated God, I hated everything he stood for, silent observation in the face of suffering.

When I awoke from the surgery, I inspected my newly bequeathed meat curtains. The wonders of modern science did not fail to amaze me. I ran one finger over the clitoris and knew in an instant, I would have more than enough time to speak with God after this. I was discharged and sent home, and on that night, I took the leap, and met my maker. I began to ring the devil’s doorbell, and after much ringing, he answered. Weeks of pent-up sexual pleasure had led to this moment, and as the endorphin release began, so too did the turning point of my entire life. The light engulfed me in all it’s beauty and for the first time, God came to me, not shadowed any longer, showing their true self. It was a woman, the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Long pristine brunette hair, eyes green like fields of fresh grass, skin as soft and smooth as silk. This was God? “I know you’re surprised, and I know why you’re here, you have some questions for me don’t you?” her voice, it was, so soothing, how could I feel so much hatred for someone so perfect in every way? “You’re God?” I asked, giving her a smile on her own face from my question “They played me as a black man in Bruce Almighty, is it that surprising that I could be a woman?” She had a point, no reason why it could be impossible. “My child please, ask me anything you wish to know and I will tell you” for months I had waited for this moment, and not even the first expectation I had about this encounter was right. If God was a woman, what else about her was a lie? How much did we really know about God? Had I really just imagined all of this? I sat down and asked my first question, “Why?”. She understood it perfectly, crossing her legs in preparation for a long chat. “Why are you here? Because I created you, long ago, I had a plan for you, just like everyone else. When I created the first tiny little organism that would later become you, I knew I was creating something perfect”. Her answer rattled my brain, I had been planned for all of time? “You don’t understand, why are humans here God? Why do you watch them suffer? How come you don’t help those in need?” and as much I wanted her brow to furrow and her expression to be one of anger, she remained calm and began to speak once again.

“You see, humans are not like many other creations of mine. When I created you, humans that is, I gave you something that no other entity has had before, the knowledge of the Gods. You’ll find it referenced in the Bible, when Eve ate the apple, but most of that is all metaphors. There was no garden of Eden, but it did represent the beginning of humanity. I couldn’t explain to people two thousand years ago the process of evolution, so I had to explain their purpose in another way, in a way they would understand. Humans are wiser now, but it did serve its purpose. As for your second question, it’s very simple, you are all Gods in your own right. I gave you my knowledge so that you could prove that good can prevail over evil. You might be thinking, and yes, it’s true, God is capable of evil, greed, anger and hatred too, I am just like you. The only difference between humans and I, is your mortality, which is a blessing that I was never given. I have been cursed with immortality, for a sin I am unaware of.” As she said that, I thought about God’s creation, did someone give her life? A God above Gods? She continued “Your mortality is something I gifted you with to see the importance of life. While you may see death as something to fear, it gives you reason to strive for greatness. If you knew you would never die, you would never see a point to life, you would never want to use your time for anything meaningful, since there would be so much of it. Your mortality gives you reason to do the right thing, to respect life in all it’s beauty. If all sickness and suffering was healed by me, you would have no reason to live. You would not see life for the impermanent thing that it truly is, you would become complacent, ignorant to the good in this world. The capacity to save life is within you, all of you, every human has the capacity to do good, and just as much of a capacity to do evil. You know right from wrong, not because I told you, but because of your respect for life. Evil is in you too, just as I am not one woman, the devil is not one man, you are all Gods and devils yourselves, it is simply up to you whether to do good or evil. You say I do not help those in need, but every doctor, every nurse, every helper in this world, they are me and I am them, we are two sides to the same coin. That is divine intervention, when an ordinary person like yourself, decides to do what is right and help those around you.”

Everything she said resonated with me, it all began to make sense. The world was never so black and white, we were always living in this symbiotic relationship between our maker and ourselves. She wasn’t cruel, she could’ve been, but she decided to give life to something she did not need to. She could have made us immortal, made us loath our own existence, but she empathized, and gave us what we needed, not what we wanted. If it was not for the constant looming fear of death, I most likely would have given up before I started this life. “But what about death? Is there heaven or hell?”

She held her hand in mine and began to explain the true nature of our demise “It is not so simple, when you die, you’re not really dead. Physically yes, you’re decomposing, but spiritually, you live on in everyone you knew. Humans have developed such an amazing connection with one another that it transcends death. I didn’t understand it when I saw it, since it’s in your nature, but I have observed it closely, and while I might not feel it myself, it is a powerful thing that you can’t fully understand yourself. While you can’t affect the world yourself when you die, your life could affect the course of the future for decades to come. Generations, still feeling affects from your life, your actions have ripples in the waters of humanity that you can’t see, but I can. People may not know that it’s you that has affected them, but you are still alive in that time. That is true immortality. While you rest, your life continues, long after your heart may stop, but it does keep beating, just a little smaller, in another person’s heart.” Not only was life symbiotic but so too was death. It all made such clear sense that I didn’t understand why it wasn’t so obvious before. The suffering is there for us to stop, not God. The death is there to give us reason to end the suffering. It wasn’t cruel at all, it was the most loving thing that a mother could give to her child.

“But why can I only see you after achieving an orgasm?” The light began to dim as I asked her this, and I knew this would be the last thing she would say “Euphoria my child, I gave humans the gift of pleasure between each other. It is a beautiful thing, sex. I created it in a way that anyone can partake in it, and I made it so it would be a celebration of life. Every time you orgasm, it is a reminder that life can be good. People will try to stigmatize it, but everyone knows how good it is, and everyone has done it, it doesn’t need to be said, but no humans would be here if it wasn’t for sex. It is for those few people like yourself that have lost their way. You are not bad, but you simply need some guidance. For a few moments in your orgasmic euphoric state, you are able to transcend into my plain of existence. For those few seconds, everyone becomes a being of pure love. You have simply fallen into loneliness, you are not bad or evil, you are just confused with life. I only come to those that need me but do not know it, not those that want me but don’t need me. I have talked to many people like yourself, you might meet one or two of them but it is very unlikely. They don’t talk about me because they do not need to. That priest you talked to does believe in me, but he does not need to meet me to believe in me, he only needs to see the good in the world, and see that God is within him and so many others. Go now, live your life with purpose and do the right thing in the face of evil. Respect life, and show people that God is within everyone, they only need to believe in themselves”

With that, the light faded, and I was back to my mortal life. No more than thirty seconds had passed in that elongated moment in time, but that is all it took for me to see that it wasn’t about worshipping God or praying for the good in the world to appear. I was the good in the world, I was everything I was always looking for, and now I had to prove it, to show others the true meaning of life. Look out world, cause here comes Christine Weston Chandler. NOW STOP FUCKING ASKING ME WHY I’M TRANS!!!

[cutecatpics]

My Sammy and me at the 24 hour vet early this morning, his urethra is blocked and he's going in for the procedure to get it fixed. Keep him in your thoughts please Source: kittycaviar on catpictures.

[poorlilbeans]

Hey all. I hate having to make a post like this, but Stewart got really sick in November and I’m still struggling to pay his vet bills. His urethra blocked on the fifth of December and I’m having to keep him on medication and prescription food to prevent a relapse. I’m extremely low on money and as of right now I can’t afford to keep him on the medication he needs.

With all of that said my commissions are still open for writing and art! Please dm me for details if you’re interested, I’ll draw and paint pretty much anything :)

My paypal link is paypal.me/sydneyhelenep if you feel like being a superhero and donating; anything helps <3

If you can’t donate and aren’t interested in commissions please please please reblog- I need all the help that I can get and I don’t have a very big reach.

Again I’m so sorry for having to post this, but I’m working as much as I can with my classes and I just don’t know what else to do.

[secretsniper3]

Part 7: High Tech Tortures

I wake on my side, sore and extremy horny, desperate to cum as the 7 eggs in my pussy continue tohum without end, juice flowing out of my pussy freely, passing around the shield blocking the eggs from getting out, kept maddeningly on the very edge of orgasm with no way down. How much I wish these eggs would let me back down from the edge or stop completly, but with my urethra plug holding the shield theres no way to remove it and my hands are useless and I only serve to push the shield further on my skin and coating my latex paws in layers of precum. Moaning and a hum coming from the bed my sister slave is clearly under similar circumstances, though she can cum unlike me. Laying next to my Master she is likely bound till shes let out, hearing movement my Master gets out of bed nude, his cock swinging unrestrained and unrestricted as he walks to the bathroom to go through his morning routine I can only watch from my small cage at the foor of his bed.

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I wake in the familiar darkness and smell of my latex hood, my mouth plugged tight with my legs spread to the corners of the bed, my clit is humming softly, Im on the edge of a powerful orgasm needing only a touch to tip me into that pool as I feel my Master return to his bed and I recieve my orgasm as he slips his cock inside my soaking pussy, orgasming instantly I try and say “Sorry Master” but can only manage a pathetic mewl as my body shakes as my Master fucks me with his morning wood, my own comfort of no concern to him he thrusts away inside and dumps his morning load inside my waiting pussy. Feeling it stiring around inside me as he continues my pounding till a second load enters me, withdrawing and sealing my pussy closed he moves off and gets dressed. Feeling my leash reattach to my collar Im unbound from the bed and moved out the room and back downstairs, led around in the dark till my mouth finds a dildo and my tongue seizes it and I begin pumping and sucking away, recieving my morning meal from the giving cock as another cock pushes in my ass as my master uses me as he sees fit, thrusting me into the dildo with every push till I feel a pump push my masters tasty cum up my ass, flowing deep inside me. Having had my fill I remove the dildo from my mouth and take a step back, “Im done Master” my leash is pulled as I teeter on my toes locked in my ballet heels.

Pulled to the ground my collar is locked to a chain on the floor holding my neck a mere foot off the ground, my arms still bound behind my back Im forced to lay flat on my bountiful latex coated breasts, my covered nipples feel the cold against the latex I shiver at the sudden hardening of my nipples as my Master replaces my gag and turns, I hear footsteps walking away, leaving my bare ass and pussy on full view as my legs open slowly, feeling my Masters cum start to run out my ass and pussy, a few drops landing on the floor as I imagine my Master pumping more hot cum inside me, my imagination distracting me from the slow stepping behind me, its when I notice the muffled buzzing that my imagination comes back to reality and I wave my hips teasingly, trying to get my intention across as I feel a welcome hand on my back. “Eat” I hear as a tongue pushes into my tight ass and probes around, sucking on my petite hole I feel the cum flowing past my sister slaves prying tongue and into the mouth beyond, feeling another orgasm cresting the cliff I moan out in ecstasy as my pussy pulses “Dont cum” I hear, my Masters words ring and echo through my mind as my brain focuses on holding back the release instantly though with difficulty as the mouth continues to empty my ass.

Collecting the cum from my ass the tongue moves lower and I moan again as she enters my drooling pussy “Ahhh fuck!” I moan, hearing a laugh from my Master who seems to know my orgasm will come, wether I resist or not. Probing deeper and deeper inside me while the mouth sucks my clit and slurps the cum out, my mouth is too busy voicing my difficulty “Ohh fuck no! No no nonono! It-its too muhhhhHHHH” My voice breaking at the end as my pussy cums harder than I wanted as my cum sprays into the waiting mouth as the tongue redoubles and speeds up its thrusting, intent on making me dissobey again I do my best to hold back but having my willpower shattered too hard from that last orgasm, I can only manage “AHHHH OHGODNOO-ooooohh my gooOOODNOOO PLEASE!!” I scream, my arms jerking in my armbinder as I shift on my breasts, no way to stop the orgasms I have no permission to have! “Thats 2 orgasms, did you get permission to have those Slave?” My Master asks, “Im so sorry sir, I couldnt help it” I gasp out while the mouth sucks the remaining cum from my pussy and releases my still pulsing lips, “Thank you Master” I hear as the woman is led away and the sound of sucking fills the room.

Unlocking my chain from the floor Im put back on my toes and led to a chair where my master sits and bends me forward at the hips, Masters cock waits and I comply and thrust my head down and take him deep in my mouth, recieving my bonus meal Im stood up straight, “You wait here and keep sucking-” clearly talking to my sister slave, “I'll get this greedy slut ready for her punishment.” Making me shudder knowing Im getting punished for something I couldnt stop in my wildest dreams, Im led forward and taken to the dungeon in the basement, my legs forced open as I beg pathetically “She made me cum Master” being my favourite line to use. Special toys are inserted into my pussy and ass, 1 placed against my clit as a chastity belt lined with thick padded latex to seal completely, no way to get anything under my belt, not a finger or a feather, only my juices are able to slowly squeeze out from the shield. “These are very expensive, very special toys inside you now, dont want the deniers falling out and breaking now do we?” my Master asks with a laugh. What did my Master mean by “Deniers”? Im about to find out as he switches them all on, my head jerks as my lower body violently shakes as my ass and pussy quake with sensations and my poor clit becoming best friends with its stimulator. “If you manage to cum from those then its deserved, but good luck with that, Slut! Your punishment is keeping those in you for the day!” My Master says as I reach the edge of a massive orgasm and just as I crest the edge they all slow down, denying me the orgasm and holding me on the edge “Oh god im going to cum!” I moan as I try to cum, as the toys stop then start over again my orgasm rolls away then they vibrate continuously till Im once again on the edge, only to cut in and out in a painful denial. “It detects your heartbeat and stops just as your about to cum. Enjoy” My Master says as I scream aloud!

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Still sucking, not sure when Master will return I dont want to be caught with the dildo out of my mouth, a light tug on my leash informs me to release the toy as I look up to my Master, I barely heard a scream earlier and my sister slave is still in the dungeon. My Master leads me slowly down to the dungeon, the second the door opens I hear loud buzzing and gasping and moans from the tormented slave, my eyes widen as I see her, still with arms sealed behind her, eyeless latex hood over her face with a tight corset and ballet boots locked to her body, but its what was new that caught my eyes, a shiny chastity belt that sits very tightly against her sex. Another tug on the leash I follow my Master to a chair and as he sits he reveals his hard cock, and I hop up to take it in my mouth as clearly commanded, my eyes look over to my sister slave as she cries and screams while I suck on my Masters hard cock till a hand meets the back of my head and holds my head low. Swallowing his cum I continue to suck away at the cock in my mouth. Moans and screams fill my ears as Masters cock pushes in and your of my mouth while my eyes look to a thrashing woman, “Shes enjoying a new toy i accuired this morning in the mail, designed to deny its user every orgasm, it wont stop vibrating till i turn it off.” Master explains while holding a remote in his other hand and placing it on a nearby shelf, far out of my paws reach.

Pushing me back off his hard cock Im told to sit, and I watch the display infront of me, “She will get to cum again, unlike you though” my Master says as he looks down on my bitchsuit covered body as my eyes start to tear up as my pussy continues to hum pathetically, having been turned down to emit a arousing presence. Seemingly knowing my arousal could use a pick-me-up my own inserts max out as I jump up and I spin to look at my Master, my sex dripping with need concealed by the latex suit while my sister slave is experiencing, however limited, a taste of my desires, Im told to sit once again and I shakily drop onto my covered pussy and ass as my own fluids flow onto the floor with a rekindled heat behind it as I look to the woman thrashing in her bonds knowing her hell is a temporary one while my hell will continue long after today.

My eyes look to the clock on the wall and time seems to take its course, an hour passes and the moaning has been nonstop from both of us as the pool between the womans bound wide legs growing steadily,with my own small puddle beneath my own thighs, my Master saying “You must be thirsty by now Slave, go have a drink” pointing to the pool of juices before me, I slowly walk over and drop my head in the fluid and drink deep, my red hair falling into the pool I slurp up more and more of my sister slaves pussy juices, thinking it would be more tasty coming from its source directly. Having my fill I back up to my Master and once again take his cock in my mouth and begin sucking away, the nearby drain collecting what pussy juices I didnt slurp up, my face covered with her own fluids as the cock pushes in my mouth as another 2 hours pass. Standing up my Master walks to the tormented woman as she moans and begs for forgivness incoherently as my Master reaches above her and grabs a dildo on a tube and puts it to her mouth, pushing it past her lips and teeth he locks straps around her head and pushes a button, the transparent tube fills with a white liquid and the slaves head shakes from side to side till her breasts are slapped hard “Drink up Slave!” My Master barks out loud. Complying instantly the slave gulps down many mouthfulls till shes clearly full and the button is pressed and the fluids flow stops, drinking up the rest the dildo is removes from her mouth and she spurts out some white fluid which lands on her large latex covered breasts.

Bringing the dildo over to me Im forced to suck on the thick toy as its locked on my face, pressing the button Im helpless to avoid the fluid as I watch as it rushes down the tube and bursts into my mouth, its horrible! Tastes worse than the cum flavored fluid from upstaris Im forced to swallow multiple loads worth and the button is pressed and I finish up and the toy is unlocked and removed. Placing back up near the roof it drips more white liquid onto the floor in slow drips, I watch on as my pussy burns with more need and I gasp out as the vibrators stimulation seem to double as I was obviously drugged with something, still unable to cum I grind my metal plate on the ground in a useless bid to achieve what I know I cant have. Moaning as I push down my motions matching the woman bound before me as we both hump forward, both pussies locked behind metal plates as the wearers thrust and grind best they can.

Watching this, my Master laughs and takes me back upstairs, leaving my sister slave bound and struggling desperatly as Im led away, entering the loungeroom I sit on a latex cushion placed infront of a metal device, locking my collar to the floor Im forced on my back, presenting my horny plate covered pussy for inspection, the device it placed over my head, covering my entire head and a dildo pushing into my mouth which is locked in place, the device now secure to my head my darkness is lit up with a screen everywhere I look. Im going to watch whatever my master wants me to watch, my eyes are illuminated with scenes of women in restrictive bondage and cumming constantly, cutting from scene to scene. My ears flood with the sounds of orgasms, cocks and sex. Unable to look away or block it out, even closing my eyes does nothing as I can see almost clear images on my eyelids as the dildo pulses in my mouth and my tongue coddles it lovingly as I feel my urethral tube deflate as my master takes care of my bodies needs, and I feel my eggs removed from my shuddering pussy, as its replaced with a throbbing hard cock as hands grab my breasts as my Master thrusts inside me, dumping 2 loads inside me, clearly going to require my sister to fish the cum out as I did for her this morning, at least I cant cum like she could. My Master leaves me to my porn to tend to the cum hungry slave below.

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I cant cum, the toys wont let me! My hips thrusting against the belt with no release in sight I scream and moan between my blind begging to anyone there who could hear me! My breast being seized by a strong hand I cry out with desperation as I beg once again “Please make it stop Master!” being answered with a hand slapping my face “How would this be a punishment if you get out when you want out?” My Master says calmly as he unlocks my legs as I stand up straight as Im led back out of the dungeon, my pussy, ass and clit still alight with the vibrators. Led blindly through the house I hear moans over the humming between my thighs as Im forced to my knees and my face pushed into a pussy, its hers! Sucking deeply as my tongue shoots inside I taste cum packed deep and I begin fishing it out, it doesnt take long for me to get it all out and Im pulled off my dinner as Im taken over and pushed onto a seat, blind and unaware my Master decides to watch a normal movie while Im forced to sit, on the edge of a intense orgasm that I wont have till later hopefully as my tongue slips out of my open mouth while my mind goes numb with pure need.

Finishing his movie my Master jerks my mind back to reality with a cock slipping into my open mouth, the movie must be over, how long has it been? for me its been dark for 2 days straight so my grasp on the passage of time is completly useless, knowing when its night only when Im put to bed, I recieve a delicious load in my mouth from my Master, which I swallow instantly and are brought to my feet and led around the house aimlessly, turning around sharply multiple times threatening to topple my delicate balance as I teeter on my sore toes trapped in my ballet boots. I begin walking in a long straight line, puzzled I realize Im on a treadmill once again, as I writhe in my denial haze Im forced to walk endlessly as my Master clearly leaves me to my torment, my legs burn for relief that Im not going to get. My moans begin anew with that realization.

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My mind is flooding with porn, the images of orgasms making my denial that much harder to deal with. The screen turns black and the dildo my tongue was coddeling is removed, my eyes see light and my Masters face as the helmet is taken away, my needy pussy right beneath him and the sounds of moaning and denial coming from around the corner, I know the treadmill is in that room and whats happening to her, Im pulled to my “feet” as my leash leads me to the treadmill room and I see her, bound tight in a inescapable walk of arousal and shame, “This because you made her cum twice, are you happy?” My Master says with a chuckle. Drinking in her bondage I accept that this is all on me, I could have eased up and denied her rather than taste her sweet cum… on my.. tongue. I know I did this, and I know that given the opporunity, I would do it again, her juices taste too great. If I cant cum then why should she? I decide that each time I clean her out I'll make her orgasm and sentence her to another day of denial hell. I smile at that decision and my Master laughs at my expression, “You enjoy her torture, dont you.”, I nod at his question “Yes Master, very much so..”

Leading me back up to the bedroom my cage is opened and I crawl inside and lay on my latex pillow and relax as best I can as my cage is locked shut and my Master leaves, likely to get my sister slave. Returning a few minutes later I yawn as he enters, Im exhausted, watching the blind slave led to the bed I hear flesh on latex and she falls back on the bed. Hearing a moan and a groan and a sudden cry I hear gagging as I learn my Master is taking her mouth tonight, she will remain denied tonight and I couldnt be happier. The lights turn off and I hear my Master call “Good night my Denial Whores!”

[secretsniper2]

Part 7: High Tech Tortures

I wake on my side, sore and extreme horny, desperate to cum as the 7 eggs in my pussy continue to hum without end, juice flowing out of my pussy freely, passing around the shield blocking the eggs from getting out, kept maddeningly on the very edge of orgasm with no way down. How much I wish these eggs would let me back down from the edge or stop completely, but with my urethra plug holding the shield there's no way to remove it and my hands are useless and I only serve to push the shield further on my skin and coating my latex paws in layers of precum. Moaning and a hum coming from the bed my sister slave is clearly under similar circumstances, though she can cum unlike me. Laying next to my Master she is likely bound till shes let out, hearing movement my Master gets out of bed nude, his cock swinging unrestrained and unrestricted as he walks to the bathroom to go through his morning routine I can only watch from my small cage at the foot of his bed.

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I wake in the familiar darkness and smell of my latex hood, my mouth plugged tight with my legs spread to the corners of the bed, my clit is humming softly, Im on the edge of a powerful orgasm needing only a touch to tip me into that pool as I feel my Master return to his bed and I receive my orgasm as he slips his cock inside my soaking pussy, orgasming instantly I try and say “Sorry Master” but can only manage a pathetic mewl as my body shakes as my Master fucks me with his morning wood, my own comfort of no concern to him he thrusts away inside and dumps his morning load inside my waiting pussy. Feeling it stirring around inside me as he continues my pounding till a second load enters me, withdrawing and sealing my pussy closed he moves off and gets dressed. Feeling my leash reattach to my collar Im unbound from the bed and moved out the room and back downstairs, led around in the dark till my mouth finds a dildo and my tongue seizes it and I begin pumping and sucking away, receiving my morning meal from the giving cock as another cock pushes in my ass as my master uses me as he sees fit, thrusting me into the dildo with every push till I feel a pump push my masters tasty cum up my ass, flowing deep inside me. Having had my fill I remove the dildo from my mouth and take a step back, “Im done Master” my leash is pulled as I teeter on my toes locked in my ballet heels.

Pulled to the ground my collar is locked to a chain on the floor holding my neck a mere foot off the ground, my arms still bound behind my back Im forced to lay flat on my bountiful latex coated breasts, my covered nipples feel the cold against the latex I shiver at the sudden hardening of my nipples as my Master replaces my gag and turns, I hear footsteps walking away, leaving my bare ass and pussy on full view as my legs open slowly, feeling my Masters cum start to run out my ass and pussy, a few drops landing on the floor as I imagine my Master pumping more hot cum inside me, my imagination distracting me from the slow stepping behind me, its when I notice the muffled buzzing that my imagination comes back to reality and I wave my hips teasingly, trying to get my intention across as I feel a welcome hand on my back. “Eat” I hear as a tongue pushes into my tight ass and probes around, sucking on my petite hole I feel the cum flowing past my sister slaves prying tongue and into the mouth beyond, feeling another orgasm cresting the cliff I moan out in ecstasy as my pussy pulses “Dont cum” I hear, my Masters words ring and echo through my mind as my brain focuses on holding back the release instantly though with difficulty as the mouth continues to empty my ass.

Collecting the cum from my ass the tongue moves lower and I moan again as she enters my drooling pussy “Ahhh fuck!” I moan, hearing a laugh from my Master who seems to know my orgasm will come, whether I resist or not. Probing deeper and deeper inside me while the mouth sucks my clit and slurps the cum out, my mouth is too busy voicing my difficulty “Ohh fuck no! No no nonono! It-its too muhhhhHHHH” My voice breaking at the end as my pussy cums harder than I wanted as my cum sprays into the waiting mouth as the tongue redoubles and speeds up its thrusting, intent on making me disobey again I do my best to hold back but having my willpower shattered too hard from that last orgasm, I can only manage “AHHHH OHGODNOO-ooooohh my gooOOODNOOO PLEASE!!” I scream, my arms jerking in my armbinder as I shift on my breasts, no way to stop the orgasms I have no permission to have! “That's 2 orgasms, did you get permission to have those Slave?” My Master asks, “Im so sorry sir, I couldn't help it” I gasp out while the mouth sucks the remaining cum from my pussy and releases my still pulsing lips, “Thank you Master” I hear as the woman is led away and the sound of sucking fills the room.

Unlocking my chain from the floor Im put back on my toes and led to a chair where my master sits and bends me forward at the hips, Masters cock waits and I comply and thrust my head down and take him deep in my mouth, receiving my bonus meal Im stood up straight, “You wait here and keep sucking-” clearly talking to my sister slave, “I'll get this greedy slut ready for her punishment.” Making me shudder knowing Im getting punished for something I couldn't stop in my wildest dreams, Im led forward and taken to the dungeon in the basement, my legs forced open as I beg pathetically “She made me cum Master” being my favourite line to use. Special toys are inserted into my pussy and ass, 1 placed against my clit as a chastity belt lined with thick padded latex to seal completely, no way to get anything under my belt, not a finger or a feather, only my juices are able to slowly squeeze out from the shield. “These are very expensive, very special toys inside you now, dont want the deniers falling out and breaking now do we?” my Master asks with a laugh. What did my Master mean by “Deniers”? Im about to find out as he switches them all on, my head jerks as my lower body violently shakes as my ass and pussy quake with sensations and my poor clit becoming best friends with its stimulator. “If you manage to cum from those then its deserved, but good luck with that, Slut! Your punishment is keeping those in you for the day!” My Master says as I reach the edge of a massive orgasm and just as I crest the edge they all slow down, denying me the orgasm and holding me on the edge “Oh god im going to cum!” I moan as I try to cum, as the toys stop then start over again my orgasm rolls away then they vibrate continuously till Im once again on the edge, only to cut in and out in a painful denial. “It detects your heartbeat and stops just as your about to cum. Enjoy” My Master says as I scream aloud!

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Still sucking, not sure when Master will return I dont want to be caught with the dildo out of my mouth, a light tug on my leash informs me to release the toy as I look up to my Master, I barely heard a scream earlier and my sister slave is still in the dungeon. My Master leads me slowly down to the dungeon, the second the door opens I hear loud buzzing and gasping and moans from the tormented slave, my eyes widen as I see her, still with arms sealed behind her, eyeless latex hood over her face with a tight corset and ballet boots locked to her body, but its what was new that caught my eyes, a shiny chastity belt that sits very tightly against her sex. Another tug on the leash I follow my Master to a chair and as he sits he reveals his hard cock, and I hop up to take it in my mouth as clearly commanded, my eyes look over to my sister slave as she cries and screams while I suck on my Masters hard cock till a hand meets the back of my head and holds my head low. Swallowing his cum I continue to suck away at the cock in my mouth. Moans and screams fill my ears as Masters cock pushes in and your of my mouth while my eyes look to a thrashing woman, “Shes enjoying a new toy i acquired this morning in the mail, designed to deny its user every orgasm, it wont stop vibrating till i turn it off.” Master explains while holding a remote in his other hand and placing it on a nearby shelf, far out of my paws reach.

Pushing me back off his hard cock Im told to sit, and I watch the display in front of me, “She will get to cum again, unlike you though” my Master says as he looks down on my bitchsuit covered body as my eyes start to tear up as my pussy continues to hum pathetically, having been turned down to emit a arousing presence. Seemingly knowing my arousal could use a pick-me-up my own inserts max out as I jump up and I spin to look at my Master, my sex dripping with need concealed by the latex suit while my sister slave is experiencing, however limited, a taste of my desires, Im told to sit once again and I shakily drop onto my covered pussy and ass as my own fluids flow onto the floor with a rekindled heat behind it as I look to the woman thrashing in her bonds knowing her hell is a temporary one while my hell will continue long after today.

My eyes look to the clock on the wall and time seems to take its course, an hour passes and the moaning has been nonstop from both of us as the pool between the womans bound wide legs growing steadily, with my own small puddle beneath my own thighs, my Master saying “You must be thirsty by now Slave, go have a drink” pointing to the pool of juices before me, I slowly walk over and drop my head in the fluid and drink deep, my red hair falling into the pool I slurp up more and more of my sister slaves pussy juices, thinking it would be more tasty coming from its source directly. Having my fill I back up to my Master and once again take his cock in my mouth and begin sucking away, the nearby drain collecting what pussy juices I didnt slurp up, my face covered with her own fluids as the cock pushes in my mouth as another 2 hours pass. Standing up my Master walks to the tormented woman as she moans and begs for forgiveness incoherently as my Master reaches above her and grabs a dildo on a tube and puts it to her mouth, pushing it past her lips and teeth he locks straps around her head and pushes a button, the transparent tube fills with a white liquid and the slaves head shakes from side to side till her breasts are slapped hard “Drink up Slave!” My Master barks out loud. Complying instantly the slave gulps down many mouthfuls till shes clearly full and the button is pressed and the fluids flow stops, drinking up the rest the dildo is removes from her mouth and she spurts out some white fluid which lands on her large latex covered breasts.

Bringing the dildo over to me Im forced to suck on the thick toy as its locked on my face, pressing the button Im helpless to avoid the fluid as I watch as it rushes down the tube and bursts into my mouth, its horrible! Tastes worse than the cum flavoured fluid from upstairs Im forced to swallow multiple loads worth and the button is pressed and I finish up and the toy is unlocked and removed. Placing back up near the roof it drips more white liquid onto the floor in slow drips, I watch on as my pussy burns with more need and I gasp out as the vibrators stimulation seem to double as I was obviously drugged with something, still unable to cum I grind my metal plate on the ground in a useless bid to achieve what I know I cant have. Moaning as I push down my motions matching the woman bound before me as we both hump forward, both pussies locked behind metal plates as the wearers thrust and grind best they can.

Watching this, my Master laughs and takes me back upstairs, leaving my sister slave bound and struggling desperately as Im led away, entering the loungeroom I sit on a latex cushion placed in front of a metal device, locking my collar to the floor Im forced on my back, presenting my horny plate covered pussy for inspection, the device it placed over my head, covering my entire head and a dildo pushing into my mouth which is locked in place, the device now secure to my head my darkness is lit up with a screen everywhere I look. Im going to watch whatever my master wants me to watch, my eyes are illuminated with scenes of women in restrictive bondage and cumming constantly, cutting from scene to scene. My ears flood with the sounds of orgasms, cocks and sex. Unable to look away or block it out, even closing my eyes does nothing as I can see almost clear images on my eyelids as the dildo pulses in my mouth and my tongue coddles it lovingly as I feel my urethral tube deflate as my master takes care of my bodies needs, and I feel my eggs removed from my shuddering pussy, as its replaced with a throbbing hard cock as hands grab my breasts as my Master thrusts inside me, dumping 2 loads inside me, clearly going to require my sister to fish the cum out as I did for her this morning, at least I cant cum like she could. My Master leaves me to my porn to tend to the cum hungry slave below.

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I cant cum, the toys wont let me! My hips thrusting against the belt with no release in sight I scream and moan between my blind begging to anyone there who could hear me! My breast being seized by a strong hand I cry out with desperation as I beg once again “Please make it stop Master!” being answered with a hand slapping my face “How would this be a punishment if you get out when you want out?” My Master says calmly as he unlocks my legs as I stand up straight as Im led back out of the dungeon, my pussy, ass and clit still alight with the vibrators. Led blindly through the house I hear moans over the humming between my thighs as Im forced to my knees and my face pushed into a pussy, its hers! Sucking deeply as my tongue shoots inside I taste cum packed deep and I begin fishing it out, it doesn't take long for me to get it all out and Im pulled off my dinner as Im taken over and pushed onto a seat, blind and unaware my Master decides to watch a normal movie while Im forced to sit, on the edge of a intense orgasm that I wont have till later hopefully as my tongue slips out of my open mouth while my mind goes numb with pure need.

Finishing his movie my Master jerks my mind back to reality with a cock slipping into my open mouth, the movie must be over, how long has it been? for me its been dark for 2 days straight so my grasp on the passage of time is completely useless, knowing when its night only when Im put to bed, I receive a delicious load in my mouth from my Master, which I swallow instantly and are brought to my feet and led around the house aimlessly, turning around sharply multiple times threatening to topple my delicate balance as I teeter on my sore toes trapped in my ballet boots. I begin walking in a long straight line, puzzled I realize Im on a treadmill once again, as I writhe in my denial haze Im forced to walk endlessly as my Master clearly leaves me to my torment, my legs burn for relief that Im not going to get. My moans begin anew with that realization.

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My mind is flooding with porn, the images of orgasms making my denial that much harder to deal with. The screen turns black and the dildo my tongue was coddling is removed, my eyes see light and my Masters face as the helmet is taken away, my needy pussy right beneath him and the sounds of moaning and denial coming from around the corner, I know the treadmill is in that room and whats happening to her, Im pulled to my “feet” as my leash leads me to the treadmill room and I see her, bound tight in a inescapable walk of arousal and shame, “This because you made her cum twice, are you happy?” My Master says with a chuckle. Drinking in her bondage I accept that this is all on me, I could have eased up and denied her rather than taste her sweet cum… on my.. tongue. I know I did this, and I know that given the opportunity, I would do it again, her juices taste too great. If I cant cum then why should she? I decide that each time I clean her out I'll make her orgasm and sentence her to another day of denial hell. I smile at that decision and my Master laughs at my expression, “You enjoy her torture, dont you.”, I nod at his question “Yes Master, very much so..”

Leading me back up to the bedroom my cage is opened and I crawl inside and lay on my latex pillow and relax as best I can as my cage is locked shut and my Master leaves, likely to get my sister slave. Returning a few minutes later I yawn as he enters, Im exhausted, watching the blind slave led to the bed I hear flesh on latex and she falls back on the bed. Hearing a moan and a groan and a sudden cry I hear gagging as I learn my Master is taking her mouth tonight, she will remain denied tonight and I couldn't be happier. The lights turn off and I hear my Master call “Good night my Denial Whores!”

[mokkoriness]

ROCK AND READ vol. 83 - Tora Interview

Image credit: ROCK AND READ Twitter

Despite being rushed to the hospital last November due to a heart attack, he made his recovery at incredible speed. Now, as if nothing had even happened at all, Tora is energetically carrying out activities for A9's tumultuous 15 year anniversary. Although in the previous issue, Hiroto had reported on Tora's condition, we asked the man himself about the sequence of events and his current condition. "Nothing has changed. I only just lost a little weight". Not even changing a little, the blunt but charming Tora sat down to talk to us.

It seems like today's photoshoot ended earlier than the scheduled time.

Tora: The photoshoot was over in 30 minutes. No matter what you make me do, I'm fast (laughs). The cameraman (Susumu Miyawaki) who did the photoshoot today is someone that I have often worked with, so even before the photos are taken, you can pretty much tell how the photos will turn out if you imagine it.

That said, I hope you will talk to us about many things in the interview. This is our first time meeting since you had a heart attack. First of all, I would like to ask about what your thoughts were, to be suddenly struck with illness, how you processed the illness, and about any mental and physical changes you've had.

Tora: Umm. Nothing has changed (laughs). The heart is actually something that's not understood. You just suddenly get these spasms, and after the event, it's not like there are any traces of if left behind. Even now, it has no effect on my life.

Oh. I'm relieved just hearing that.

Tora: The reason why it happened wasn't because my blood vessels were blocked. But I did have a heart attack. Just looking at the data, like electrocardiograms, I did have a heart attack, but it's not as if my blood vessels are blocked now. It seems like I got a spasm and it was possible that the blood vessels did get blocked, but there were not parts that were blocked. So even though I did have surgery, they didn't do anything like inflate my blood vessels with a balloon. When they inserted a catheter, I didn't have any blocked blood vessels. The results of the diagnosis showed that there were some parts that weren't working well, so that's probably why I got a heart attack. I don't know much about hearts (laughs), but the reason why that happens is apparently something unexpected like stress. Apparently, the cause for it can be stress on the same level as an earthquake.

I'm surprised, since it's so unexpected that you would be under that much stress.

Tora: That's what the doctor told me. They asked me, "Has anything happened in your life lately?". Because it can happen in that way too.

So heavy stress can also cause heart attacks.

Tora: Yeah. So that's why at first, when I was discharged from the hospital, I was careful with what I was eating. When you have a heart attack, there's this thick rulebook that you get at the hospital, and it's really difficult to stick to the rules when you're young. So while being as close to the line as possible, lately, I've come to think that there's no point in me worrying about it so much. If my blood vessels were blocked, then I would have to completely stick by the rules. But I realized that sticking to the rules would put me under a lot of stress.

And the doctor said that cause was probably stress.

Tora: So I'm moderating myself.

What about the alcohol and cigarettes that you love?

Tora: I quit.

Do you move around and exercise?

Tora: At first, I would go for walks, but only at first. I kept doing it for about 2 months and then I got bored (laughs).

What?!

Tora: I bought a treadmill, and I use it quite a lot at home. Because it's a pain in the ass to go outside. Apart from this, the only thing that has changed is that for my meals, I don't eat rice and only eat side dishes.

Has your weight also changed?

Tora: I only just lost a little weight. Because you won't lose a huge amount of weight just by limiting what you eat and walking. Oh right, I'm not supposed to run. The doctor told me to not overwork my heart. After being admitted to the hospital and having surgery, there was rehabilitation. At first, you can't get up from bed normally, because that requires putting strain on your heart. It doesn't make sense, right? After spending a day in rehabilitation, I was finally able to sit up in bed. After completing rehabilitation to be able to sit up in bed, there was rehabilitation on how to stand up. Doing that everyday made me think "This is a pain in the ass".

To work at it slowly so that you don't put any burden on your heart.

Tora: Yeah. After finished that rehabilitation, on the last day, I was finally able to shower. I was able to do this after about a week, but you also can't shower, but it puts a burden on your heart. After getting out of bed, I could only walk about 50 steps or something. Since I had to do rehabilitation from that level, it was a pain in the ass. I even asked "Is it okay to walk now?".

I can kind of imagine that (laughs). What kind of symptoms did you have before being admitted to hospital? According to what we heard from Hiroto, you had 2 attacks.

Tora: That's right. If the first thing I had was diagnosed to be a heart attack, then I had 2. At first, my back really hurt. It was really painful, but I was like "Someone, massage my back". That was the first attack.

Did you get those symptoms during rehearsals before a live on the 2-man tour with vistlip?

Tora: Yeah. Thinking about it now, even before that, there were times where my chest was in pain. In terms of symptoms, I had something similar to esophagitis​. Including where it felt like something was stuck in my throat, I think perhaps I've also had attacks many times in the past. Only when I look back, though. But when it actually happened, it was quite painful. When it happened the first time, I even said "Crap, oh crap". It was during rehearsal, and I was writhing about on stage. I felt the pain in my left arm, back, and face, and no matter what I did, my body was in pain. Since getting the symptoms in my back, it's like the pain gets even worse from there. I want to tell people that if at first, if you're just like "My chest feels tight" but then your back starts to hurt, go to the hospital right away. When your back starts to hurt, it's a sign that things are getting bad.

With the first attack, did you just deal with the pain the whole time?

Tora: That's right. The pain got worse and worse, and I was so out of breath to the point I drooling. Since it feels similar to throwing up, people go to the toilet, but there is nothing to throw up. I drank water and threw up, but I didn't feel better afterwards. Up until now, I've gotten plenty of hangovers, and it's kind of similar to the pain you get when you've got a hangover. But it was impossible, since it happened in the evening. Even if I were to have gone drinking the day before, in terms of the time, getting the hangover during the evening on the next day is strange...... That's what I thought as I was dealing with the pain. Then the symptoms calmed down.

That's how it happened?

Tora: Yeah. I felt much more at ease after that.

How did you recover?

Tora: All I did was bear with the pain. It's a battle against time. As I was bearing with it, it was like water passing through me, where the pain suddenly just receded and went away. To the point it would surprise you.

So after the first attack, you were able to play the live show as planned. So nothing happened with your body even after doing the live show?

Tora: That's right. So when the second attack came, since I managed to keep it under control the first time, I bore the pain. With the first attack, after about 15 minutes of dealing with the pain, things calmed down, but with the second time, it took about an hour.

Where did the second attack happen?

Tora: At home. I wondered whether to call an ambulance or not, but I thought I would be fine since things calmed down the first time. The second attack happened at night. The hospitals aren't open at 9p.m., and don't you feel kind of iffy about calling an ambulance to your house? So I didn't call an ambulance. So I dealt with the pain and the attack calmed down, but I ended staying up until morning, so I googled my symptoms.

And when you did that?

Tora: The only thing that fit was a heart attack. That was the only thing, when you have chest pain, feel like throwing up, your back starts hurting, your left arm gets numb, and your teeth hurt. It said that if these symptoms last for 1 hour, it's bad news, so I was like "I guess I'll go to the hospital", and in the morning, I walked to the hospital. When I took an electrocardiogram there, the small hospital put me in an ambulance right away and took me to a large hospital. They told me "You're not supposed to walk or you'll die".

Meaning you were in quite a dangerous situation?

Tora: Yes. When they looked at the electrocardiogram, they said "At this rate, you have a high chance of dying". I was like "For real!?" (laughs). "This is not the time for laughter". When they took my blood pressure, it was 170mmHg. Since the maximum was 180mmHg, the small hospital threatened me, like "We might have to put something in your heart". After they transported me to the bigger hospital, they immediately moved me to the operating table and put a catheter in me. But in the end, my blood vessels weren't blocked. Even at the bigger hospital, they said "Your blood vessels aren't blocked, but it showed up on the electrocardiogram". It was a heart attack, but since my blood vessels weren't blocked, they diagnosed it as a spasm.

What were you thinking at the time?

Tora: I wasn't thinking anything. In any case, having a tube up my urethra really hurt (laughs). That was the first thing they did when they moved me to the operating table, and it hurt like hell and was painful! When I had a catheter, I was confined to my bed for 24 hours. I could only sleep lying on my back, and I wasn't even allowed to drink water. That was more painful for me. Putting aside the illness, the toughest thing was the reality that I had to do this kind of thing. It was a pain in the ass. That was tough.

So what happened after those 24 hours?

Tora: The next day, I was finally about to sit up in bed, and I started doing this rehabilitation to sit up. It took me a week to walk. It was hell, not being able to walk properly for a week.

What did you do when you were stuck in bed at the hospital?

Tora: Since being able to sit up, I played games. I had someone bring me a PlayStation. You can connect it to the monitor in the hospital! The doctors and nurses were shocked I did that. Like "So you can play the PlayStation here" (laughs). That was all I could do. And the hospital I went to was full of old people, like grandpas. Until I was moved there, I was first in the ICU.

For the 24 hours you had a catheter.

Tora: Yes. With the ICU being the ICU, it was full of people with critical conditions who were rushed there, so the nurse said to me "It's crazy that you are in the ICU at this age. You're too young".

The nurse in the ICU spoke to you in a casual manner.

Tora: That's because I did too. Everyone was young, even the doctors. Even one of the doctors used to be in a Visual-kei band. When they asked me if I was in a band and I said yes, they said to me "I also used to be in a Visual-kei band". Some of the nurses even know A9, so what was tough for me was to give people an autograph with a tube shoved up my XXX (laughs).

Then they moved you to the general ward. How did your parents react when you were admitted to hospital? They must have been quite surprised.

Tora: Not really. My family is also casual, so they happily came to the hospital, saying that since I got ill, they were able to spend plenty of time with me.

Did people at the hospital ask you about your tattoos?

Tora: They didn't. At the first hospital I went to, they said to me "Big hospitals aren't used to accepting patients with tattoos, so I don't know how they will react". But since there were many young people at that hospital, they were completely fine with it. Instead, they were like "Wow, tattoos!".

You have tattoos on your upper body as well as your legs. Why did you decide to get a tattoo?

Tora: Because I wanted one.

When did you get your first tattoo?

Tora: I guess when I was around 20 years old. Our previous company was quite strict about it, so when we left the company, I just went for it.

Are you particular about what kind of tattoos to get?

Tora: I'm not. In general, I leave it to the tattoo artist, so I just tell them to tattoo whatever they want.

Is there no tattoo that you got because you wanted it?

Tora: No. Oh, but I wanted to get the tiger stripes (on his leg). I thought tiger stripes would be a little crazy. Don't people not get this kind of tattoo? I wanted to get a tattoo where even people with tattoos would think "That's crazy" or "I can't imitate that". I did think about getting one of a tiger, but I thought to get one of a tiger while doing activities under the name "Tora" is too typical and predictable. With the tattoo on my hand, I'm really close with HAKUEI (PENICILLIN), so when I said to him "Let me get a tattoo that's like yours", he said it was okay.  I was like "Really?! Let me take a photo of that then", and took a photo of the butterfly tattoo on his hand. The next day, I went to go get it done. When I sent a photo of the butterfly tattoo on my hand to HAKUEI, he was kind of taken aback (laughs). He was probably half-joking.

You're also casual in the way you get tattoos.

Tora: That's right. I like getting tattoos like Americans or something do, like "This was cute, so I got it tattooed" or "I like the design of this t-shirt, so I'm gonna go get it tattooed". That's how foreigners think. That's how I am too. That's why I have a tattoo of a Disney character on my arm, a matching butterfly one with HAKUEI, and also a striking tiger pattern one on my leg.

Did your parents not say anything to you?

Tora: My parents are still completely against it. They tell me "Don't get any more" and "Just please don't get one on your face" (laughs). So I was like "Fine, I guess I'll leave my face alone".

I see. We've gone a little astray, so let's get back on track. So we heard from Hiroto what it was like from when you were admitted to hospital to when you were discharged. It seems like you were able to finish the rehabilitation in record speed?

Tora: That's right. I directly negotiated with the doctor, saying that I didn't want to be in the hospital for a long period of time. The rule is that rehabilitation is 2 weeks long, but I negotiated to do mine at twice the speed.

Can you even do that?

Tora: I did (laughs). Normally, there's also a period where you have to do rehabilitation back into society. In the rulebook, it says that you return to society after half a year, but even now, I'm working a lot.

Just until recently, you were on the Asia tour.

Tora: I'm doing activities as I normally would.

So the doctor gave you reasonable permission?

Tora: The doctor understood that I'm not a regular person, and I said that I would do it. In response, the doctor didn't say anything, as if they were thinking "That's right, there isn't anyone that can cover for you". But they did say to me "Even on stage, you should try to rest". Because I'm not allowed to do very active sports.

Since you restarted activities during a time when you were not supposed to have returned to society, you must have thought about many things, such as what you would do if you got another heart attack, or it might be too late and you might die.

Tora: Well, I don't really worry about it. Although there are still things that I have left to do, it's not that I think that I don't want to die. Although, you probably won't be able to think about that kind of thing when death is actually staring you in the face. But I am still alive. It's not quite like the timing, but I thought that now was not when my time was up.

Do you mean the timing of when you will die?

Tora: Yeah. And that now wasn't the time. That's why, even if this kind of thing were to happen to my body again, I think I would think of it as just an annoyance. Like "Not now". It was the same thing when I hurt my neck.

Oh. You were on tour then too, and if I remember correctly, you had to cancel some shows.

Tora: That's right. That was much more painful, in terms of the symptoms. The suffering from the hernia was hellish. I never want to it happen again. On top of that, I hate that kind of half-baked thing. Can't anyone get a hernia? But this time, the name of my illness has the biggest impact.

Even though it was an illness, the idea that the impact is important is...

Tora: I'm a bit weird. I've always been weird since I was little. When people grow up, don't they just have this impulse to become an ordinary person? And then they say really, ordinary things. That's where I question them, like "What are you going to achieve, saying such ordinary things?". Getting sick and following the rulebook to change to a healthy lifestyle, to wake up to an ordinary day, and live while taking care of your health. I just get this feeling that that isn't the life for me. I'm not like this.

You live intuitively.

Tora: Yes. It's disgusting to live like that everyday. I think that it's not good to be this ordinary and live healthy and happy life. I think "What are you trying to achieve by trying to create ordinary happiness?". My thoughts themselves are just different from others.

What made you think ordinary = no good when you were a child?

Tora: I don't know. Maybe because I have a really bad personality (laugh)? I don't hate my parents, but I feel that I don't treat my parents in the same way everyone else does. Doesn't everyone have these sentiments that they like their parents? I don't have that.

What do you mean?

Tora: It's not as though I grew up in an unhappy family, but all parents are are "not someone unrelated to you", and in general, I look at them as any other "person". So ever since I was a kid, I would look at what my parents were doing that think "What idiots". I would wonder why they couldn't do something. For example, I would wonder why they would say certain things at certain times, and if they couldn't read the mood. Putting aside whether they are book smart or not, I would think that they were idiots. I would use that aspect of my parents. For example, if I could skillfully use that aspect of my parents, they would give me money. So I'm sort of using my parent. That's how I treat them.

Is your brother like that too?

Tora: My younger brother listened to everything my parents said, so much to the point that until 30 years of age, he was reclusive. My mum is a full-time housewife and my dad has a proper job,so we're the typical Showa-era family. I think that my parents are really old-fashioned.

Even in that household, you were an upbeat child and raised to have different sentiments from "ordinary people".

Tora: That's right. Maybe they raised a strange kid that was different from the parents.

I see. So when you were admitted to hospital and found out the name of your illness, how did the members react?

Tora: Since everyone is a grown up, they had mature responses. Like that it was good that I was still alive, and that we should all be careful. To the members, it's not something that's unrelated to them. Because in general we live similar lifestyles.

When Hiroto came to visit you in the hospital and gave you a present, you even took a photo of it and uploaded it to Twitter, which is rare.

Tora: I think that Hiroto really is a pervert (laughs). I bet he even knew that I would upload the picture to Twitter (laughs).

You don't even view that normally and twist it.

Tora: That's what it seems like to me.

To the Tora with a bad personality.

Tora: Yeah. That's why deep down, I truly can't be happy. Don't get me wrong; I am happy, you know? I am happy, but there is this feeling where I have to make a post about Hiroto being such a nice guy (laughs). Saga tweeted that he was worried about me, but he didn't come visit me. To me, it seems like a farce.

Hiroto was seriously glad that you were open and thanked him. I also heard that Saga, who couldn't go see you because he had to do recording, asked his mother, who is a nurse, about medical knowledge, and of all the members, he researched your illness the most, including your diet after being discharged.

Tora: I know that. But deep inside of me, I thought that he wouldn't come and see me as a grown up. We are in the same band, after all.

You wanted him to at least show his face. You must have been quite sad that Saga didn't come to visit you (laughs). So what were you thinking when you returned to the stage for the first time after recovering?

Tora: I think that no matter what, as long as you're alive, you have a way to express yourself. In general, I want to express myself, and even if it's not on stage, I feel that if nothing else, I have the confidence that I can express myself. If a guy can only express himself on stage, then I think that he would be uncool, even standing on stage. No matter how it plays out, I can express something. That's why my mind is not that of a guitarist. Lately, I've been into videography, and I want to express something with that. That's probably about the only thing I want to do while I'm alive. It's not like I want to work (laughs). In general, don't people want to live only doing the things they like? Because what they like is not their job. I can't do something if I think of it as work.

Have you not ever worked a part-time job?

Tora: I have, but I did it thinking it was a pain in the ass. I don't like doing the same repetitive things.

But don't bands also play the same songs?

Tora: At least for us, we have a lot of arrangements. In that respect, I don't get bored.

To commemorate the band's 15th year anniversary, the best of albums, "Kachou no Shirabe" and "Fuugetsu no Uta", with songs chosen by the members will go on sale on April 24 (interview was done in early March). Is there quite a different arrangement compared to the original songs on the re-recorded songs?

Tora: In terms of the guitars, they're completely different songs. Nothing is the same.

I see. Although songs will change with a different arrangement, what about the members? With Show in particular, you were in a band with him before A9. Even now, apart from A9, you're also in the DIAWOLF unit with him. The two of you have continued to always do music activities together. What do you think of continuing to do music activities with the same members?

Tora: I think that Show can still become much more popular.

I have a memory of you saying the same thing a long time ago when I did an interview with you for the fanclub magazine.

Tora: I still feel the same way. In general, I can't sing. Show is far more superior than me just with the 2 facts that he is cooler than me and that he can sing. It's just something that he was born with. I think that there is no way that a person who is naturally far more superior than me couldn't become more popular. That's how I feel.

Show is a person who should have more of the limelight shone on him as a star from the general public and become more popular.

Tora: Is what I think. I feel bad because it seems like I'm looking down on him while saying it. But if he doesn't become more popular, I think that the reason would be something else [and not something to do with Show]. There's no way I could be wrong (laughs).

You're really confident about it.

Tora: Because I am sure that my way of thinking is not wrong. Won't my life not have any value if I don't think that way? But by insisting that my way of thinking is not wrong, it means I will never do well with girls (laughs). I understand that girls will slowly start to think "This guy is crazy". I mean, I'm not an idiot. The girl would start to think "If I keep dating this guy who says the impossible, I'll never be happy. I just want ordinary happiness".

When they find out that at the root of the way you live and the way you think is the idea that "normal = no good". Do any of the members share your way of thinking?

Tora: I guess none of them do. I don't know.

With such members who don't share this feeling with you, what do you think is the reason that A9 was able to continue on as a band for 15 years?

Tora: That's what I wonder! But A9 have had many life events. Even if it seems like we are doing the same things over and over, I've fallen into poor health, and we also suddenly changed our band name (laughs). Our band has had many troubles. These troubles have become life events for us.

What was the incident that you thought was the worst?

Tora: Uhh, I don't know. I never thought of them as being that serious.

Really? So does that mean at the very least, you never felt any stress while doing music activities?

Tora: It's the opposite; I've had nothing but stress. Every day while living my life. Ever since I was a kid, I've used that stress as motivation for living.

You mean like the pent up feelings you were talking about earlier about your parents, when they make you wonder why they would say certain things at certain times?

Tora: Yeah. It makes me think "Okay, then I'll make sure I won't turn out like them". I find people who have long-winded talks a pain in the ass. Don't those people who like lecturing others want to lecture people on every little detail about why they can't do something?

Oh. That would be stressful.

Tora: To me, that's just a waste of time. Rather than talking about that, wouldn't it be quicker to find something that you can do?

So you're the type who wants to live fast-paced on the shortest route. That's why at the beginning you said that you were fast.

Tora: That's right. I'm fast no matter what I do. I mean, can't you tell just by imagining it? Even so, there are so many in the people in the world who can't do this. The same applies to games, but it's more fun when something is bothersome and you can't clear it. Because you want to keep doing it until you can clear it. I do think that a band is also a game that you can keep playing until you clear it.

When do you "clear" a band?

Tora: I guess that would be when you think that there is nothing more left to do with this band. Whether or not the current A9 is at the maximum level, I think that we still aren't. I do think that we've gone passed level 50, but we can still level up, and I feel that we've still not reached the final boss. So that's why I think perhaps this band can still keep on fighting going forward. I want to keep on going until we've reach the maximum level and I can think that we've "cleared" the band. I think that this is a band where the time I can think that we've "cleared" will come. Rather than being able to continue and dragging it on forever, because I think that this a band where we definitely will be able to see the moment where we've "cleared" the band, I will keep going until that point. As long as I'm still alive.

[maynardlewis]

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[sunjourhealthcare]

Father's Day is just around the corner! Did you know that June is also Men's Health Month? Giving the older fathers in our lives the tools to manage their health issues that arise with age is important! One health issue we focus on is called BPH (benign prostatic hyperplasia) which is the medical term for prostate enlargement. Although the topic of prostates may not sound fun or comfortable, it is still important nonetheless for men to know their body and know how to care for it. In just the United States, there are an estimated 42 million cases of BPH.

In case you’ve ever wondered just what exactly a prostate is, it’s a small gland about the size of a walnut that is situated below the bladder (which holds urine). The urethra (a tube that carries urine out of the body) runs through the center of the prostate and the penis. The prostate is part of the male reproductive system and its function is to help make seminal fluid that mixes in with the sperm to produce semen.

There are different prostate conditions out there, but one thing we want you to rest assured of is that BPH doesn't increase risk of prostate cancer because as the B in BPH implies (benign), BPH is not cancerous. BPH commonly affects men 50 and older.

The hormone known as testosterone helps the prostate grow throughout a man's life. Did you know that about 60-70% of men may have BPH in their 60s and that by the time the male population hits the 90s age range, about 90% of men may have developed BPH? This condition can bear a significance on quality of life as we'll later explain.    

Prostate symptoms may be tested with a PSA (prostate specific antigen) blood test but this PSA test alone cannot determine whether the symptoms men experience are BPH or prostate cancer. It is also important to discuss whether this test is necessary on an individual basis.

Now, onto the BPH symptoms. As the prostate grows, the urethra is squeezed, blocking the flow of urine from the bladder to out of the body. As a result symptoms include the following: - frequent urination at day and at night - sudden urges to urinate - urinary stream is weak or slow - difficulty when starting to urinate - stopping and starting while voiding The interesting thing is that BPH is the number one reason men go to the urologist even though they may not know it's even called BPH. The impacts that BPH can have on men's lives include the following: - A disruption of normal sleeping patterns - Have to plan life and activities around where the nearest bathroom is (such as needing an aisle seat on the plane and being unable to go on long road trips) - Changing to use of bathroom stalls instead of urinals due to embarrassment over slow urinary flow or difficulty urinating

As men age, it is likely that BPH is an inevitable prostate issue, so our advice to the men and dads around the world is not to wait so long to get evaluated, and don't leave it untreated! Not treating BPH could lead to these problems:

- Permanent bladder damage or compromised bladder condition - UTIs (urinary tract infections) - Bladder and/or kidney stones - Kidney damage - Bladder retention - Complete inability to urinate

So what can men do? You can make an appointment with a urologist by telehealth or at their office. You may talk about your medical history and take an IPSS (international prostate symptoms score) survey, and you and your doctor can determine how much your BPH is bothering you. BPH can be diagnosed or detected with a bladder scan, uroflowmety (to test the speed of urinary flow), a digital rectal exam, a transrectal ultrasound, or a cytoscopy (camera placed through the urethra to check the prostate and bladder)

The IPSS survey scores symptoms based on the patient's feedback and can determine how  mild or severe the BPH is based on a numerical score.

The sooner you go on treatment and/or manage symptoms the sooner your quality of life can be restored. Treatment options for BPH will depend on a number of factors: - The size of the prostate - The age of the BPH patient - The desire of the BPH patient to preserve his sexual function - The overall health of the BPH patient - The severity of BPH symptoms

In mild cases, doctors may recommend monitoring symptoms with watchful waiting.  

One thing to consider is that medication is not the only way to treat BPH. Some concerns about medication are that it may be inadequate and only provide temporary relief, and it may carry unpleasant side effects (dizziness, headaches, sexual dysfunction). This is why about 27% of men stop taking medication after being on it for one year.  

When making a decision about treatment options, men need to evaluate the key differences in long and short term effects and the convenience of the treatment. Will he need a catheter? How long is the recovery period?  Are the side effects permanent or temporary?

Alternatives to medication in order of risk include plant based therapies, minimally invasive surgeries, or major surgical procedures.

The goal of BPH treatment is to manage and alleviate symptoms so that men can resume a normal daily life. Treatments that have been reviewed by the FDA or have undergone clinical studies could be promising based on the results of success rates.

And for some men who are still sexually active with their partners, preserving sexual function can be a consideration for their preferred treatment. Men who are sexually active want no problems with ejaculations or erections. Treating BPH rather than ignoring it could be a gradual change or a night and day difference, but the importance is to start. Some men may not want to use a catheter, they may want little to no down time, and they may also want little to no side effects. They may not want to experience occasional bleeding after urination or pain in bladder or pelvis.

Treating BPH could be a game changer not only in men's lives but in their partner's lives as well. Husbands and wives want men to see the urologist- don't keep living with bothersome BPH symptoms! Talk to your doctor, get medical opinions, and responsibly seek and share information.

Granted, medical procedures may be big or scary decisions. If you are considering complementary therapy (taking natural therapy while taking medication) with the goal of reducing or getting off your current prescription dosage, talk to medical professionals before reducing or going off medications to avoid complications.

Imagine men experiencing urinary frequency at the worst possible times, such as during a long flight (getting up every hour or half hour. Imagine getting up 3-4 times a night (interrupting ability to get good night's sleep). Imagine urinary urges that take place during  demanding schedules with work or life. Imagine being fatigued in the afternoon due to lack of a good night's sleep. This is the reality some men with BPH face day to day when they don't address their BPH.   Partners of men who may have BPH, ask him to take the IPSS survey. Don't let your partner suffer for years with BPH. Arrange to meet with a urologist. What does relief look like? - Feeling more rested - Getting up less - Having more energy - Being less tired - Doing better in daily life in your career and personal life - A return to normalcy - Happiness with yourself and partner This Father's Day and Men's Health Month, spread BPH awareness!