#his disability both adds to that (everyone else is able) and removes from it (they rally around him when he is not capable himself)

[narrativedoomed-a]

i fear he will be murdered for closing the door

[bone-yarddz]

Dragon Jayce and Viktor except rough drafts that I love/hate.

I’ll always be better at dragon AUs than anything else! So! Here is some random info about it:

- Viktor is probably not like. SMALL, but medium sized for a dragon. He’s kind of, feathery or whatever you want to call the dragon fluff, he’s got a weasel/raptor inspiration tbh. He was born wingless from the grey on top of other shitty mutations that cause his leg pain and overall sickness. (Similar to the show, just has a different kind of disability that limits him more than his human counterpart) He doesn’t have a crutch/cane in this universe since he can limp on three legs if the bad one is bothering him. His main problem is flying though. He works in a city in the sky after all. I think he has the same character development and all that. Though his relationship with others is a LITTLE different since his dragon disability is a bit more. Limiting? I imagine more frustration from piltovians since they think he doesn’t belong (for A LOT of reasons) in piltover. They think he makes their image look bad or whatever, because he’s like. A walking example of how badly they failed the other half of their city (and I think that goes for the show too tbh but this is more exaggerated) He also lacks the ability to breath fire but that’s not a big deal since most dragons don’t do that anyway. (He adds it to his list of new things he can do as Machine Herald though.)

- Machine Herald Viktor is essentially the same but he’s more driven in specifically helping Zaun compared to EVERYONE. (So Salo may or may not be part of his followers) He does have the hexarm still it’s just replacing his front arm instead of being an extra one. His wings are the main new bits that catch attention now.

- Jayce is pretty big for a dragon, but not full grown so he appears medium stil. He’s definitely “top heavy” so he can’t stand back on his hind legs like some dragons can. His dad is distantly related to Caitlyn’s dad. So. They’re very far removed family in this universe. Also that’s why his hair is bluish. His mom tried taking him back to piltover after his dad died and then the whole mage thing happened. So they’re technically foreigners even if his dad lived in Piltover once. Jayce is essentially a cliche dragon. The tusks are a little irregular though. Hehe. His season two injury is his wing and horn. The horn breaks which just. Causes really bad migraines every now and then if he doesn’t treat it. And his wing is permanently busted haha. Still has to climb the spire thing hehe. Also the weapons he makes might be different since dragons don’t really… NEED a gauntlet or hammer. Also, Jayce can breathe fire.

Also! Some notes on the architecture for Piltover (Specifically Piltover Academy) since I imagine it more like, a literal city in the sky.

Last thing is that I imagine grey (and shimmer in a very complex and weird way) mutates dragons to have no wings or dysfunctional wings so lots of Zaunites started giving birth to flightless dragonets (like Viktor, Ekko, Vander, Vi & Jinx, etc.) which is a big problem because both cities weren’t built with the idea that a dragon wouldn’t be able to fly to access points. As time goes on though Zaun has become more grounded and less in the air and Piltover has made the smallest changes for flightless dragons that come up. Other cities don’t have this problem though, such as Noxus, so most foreigners find it appalling that could even happen to a whole city.

[rphosphor]

mcyt/dsmp tumblr guide!

I saw that a lot of people from Twitter are moving here to Tumblr. First of all, welcome! Second of all, I know how hard it is to get adjusted here so I made this guide for y’all to have an easier time!

Click on the read more because this is a really long post. If you know how to use Tumblr and only want info on the etiquette, here’s a post with only the etiquette.

Edit 04/27/2022 10:24 AM EST

Hi again everyone! This post is currently outdated with the recommendations though it’s still okay for the most part. Feel free to reblog, as anything under the read more will always remain updated even after edits! This’ll be fixed eventually

(Points and important information are in bold)

Before I get into it, I’d like to say that Tumblr doesn’t get any personal information from you besides your email. Whatever you put out is what people see. It’s very anonymous, take advantage of it. We don’t dox people here at all.

Contents: Starting your blog, Interacting with others, Posting, Tagging & Tagging Etiquette, Other, Blogs I recommend

Starting your blog

-Pick a username for yourself. This will also be your blog’s URL. You can change your blog’s name as much as you’d like, so don’t worry too much about it. Just don’t use your real name because only the porn bots on here have “real” names. (Ignore/block them)

-Customise your blog’s appearance. When you go to your blog’s page, there is a painting palette icon on the top right. From there, you can edit the appearance of your blog. On Desktop, you can utilise themes to personalise your blog even more.

-Put something in your bio. You can meme and put anything you want. I recommend not making it too long, though. People usually put their names & pronouns. Remember, give out the information you want to give out.

-Pinning posts. You can pin a post and it’ll remain at the top of your blog until you either remove it, or pin something else. This is where you’d put an intro post if you’d like to tell more about yourself, link your socials/carrd or how you tag things on your blog. 

-Customise what’s visible. By default, people can see your likes and follows. On Mobile, you can click on the likes/following tab and then click “change”. From there, you can disable people viewing them. On Desktop, you need to go to settings, click on your blog and then you can disable it. Hardly anyone but new users and big blogs show either of these so feel free to private them.

-How to disable the archive. On Desktop, every blog comes with an archive which can be used to look at all the posts a person’s made and sort by date. There’s no setting to disable it so if you want it removed, go to your blog and press the palette button. Click ‘Edit HTML’ and locate the line of code that says this or something similar: ‘{lang:Archive}’. After that, you want to insert a new line before that line and type ‘’. The line you located should turn gray. Update the preview and double check that everything looks fine before saving. To add the archive back, just delete the ‘’ you added.

-Asks and submissions. By default, no one can send you asks and submissions. You can toggle this by going to settings on both desktop (settings > blog) and mobile. Asks can either be anonymous or not (this is also toggleable) and people can use it to send questions, sh*tpost, have discussions, etc. while submissions are (to my knowledge) not anonymous but it’s basically like being able to send a person a whole post with links, tags, etc.

-Filter out tags for things you don’t want to see. On desktop, you just need to click on settings while on mobile it’s settings > general settings > filtering. Make sure to include [xyz] tw, tw [xyz], cw [xyz], [xyz] cw, [xyz], and [xyz] mention when filtering.

Interacting with others

-Customise your dashboard. When you start, your dashboard is very empty. Tumblr’s algorithm is almost nonexistent and you customise what you see. Follow blogs and tags as much as you like, because this is what is going to fill up your dashboard.

-Sending in asks. A lot of blogs have their asks open and you can send them on or off anon (if they enabled it). On Desktop, you can include photos, gifs, etc. This is one way to get mutuals. You can also sign off an anon ask with a nickname so that people know it’s the same person. Ex: -🥄 or -Party anon. If you’re not sure if a person already has a ___ anon, feel free to ask!

-Replying to posts. If someone didn’t disable replies, you can reply to their posts. You can use this if you want to say something about the post but don’t want it to appear on your blog. Make sure to @ the person you’re replying to if it wasn’t their post, otherwise they won’t see that you replied to them.

-Reblog posts. As said earlier, people fill up their own dashboards, there isn’t much of an algorithm here. Likes are just a number, reblogs are the primary way posts circulate. It’s not an obligation, but it is highly encouraged to reblog artists’ and writers’ works.

-It is okay to block people. If they’re doing something bad, you find them annoying, etc. just block the person. Do not make call out posts and public blocklists. If you want, you can message your mutuals (they have a green star in your follower tab) and tell them not to interact with the person. No one is notified when you block them, you will stop appearing in their dashboard and they will stop appearing in yours. If they try to visit your blog, it'll display as if the page isn't working & give an error if they try to reblog your posts.

-It’s okay to ask someone to use a trigger warning tag. If you follow someone whose posts can have something that triggers you/makes you uncomfortable. you can ask them to tag it so you can filter. They’re not obligated to use it, but there’s no harm in asking! You can always unfollow them in case it bothers you too much.

Posting

-Format your text. Tumblr has a bunch of options for formatting text and it’s very useful. You can bold, italic, strikethrough, or even COLOUR your text! :D

-Queue/Schedule your posts. Optional, but they allow you to keep your blog active and avoid spam reblogging. The difference between the two is that scheduling posts allows you to choose the exact time a post goes out.

-When reblogging, you can either type what you want to say in the post itself or in the tags. Tags disappear when someone else reblogs your post and they don’t appear in the replies. Only the person you reblogged the post from gets a notif about the tags. It’s down to what you prefer.

-Tag properly. Tags are part of the only way to categorise, search, and find posts, so tagging a lot of things incorrectly can cause a lot of problems for other people. This brings us to the next segment, tagging:

Tagging & Tagging Etiquette

-Use tags to organise posts. Tags are useful for people searching for stuff on your blog + it helps you post get discovered. I recommend also tagging people that sent you an ask for organisation (ex: #cat anon)

-Using tone indicators. They work exactly the same as on Twitter, but are more commonly located in the tags, asks, or replies.

-Put trigger warnings in the tags. This allows people to filter the posts they don’t want to see. Keep them consistent and simple. Most people use [xyz] tw or tw [xyz].

-Tag critical/discourse, etc. when applicable. Don’t put discourse on the main tag so that it won’t be shown to people that don’t want to see it. This is not optional. Use #[xyz] critical or #c![xyz] negative, not #[xyz].

-Use spoiler tags when posting about recent events. Usually you’d need to tag events for 2-7 days after they happen, depending on the fandom. (Ex: #dsmp spoilers, #3rd life spoilers)

-If your post is long, tag it with #long post. You don’t really need to do it if it’s short with a read more. Some people aren’t okay with scrolling past long posts. On desktop, you just need to go to an empty line and click the three dots on the side to add a read more. On mobile, you need to type :readmore: in a new paragraph.

-Do not crosstag. It doesn’t get your post more exposure, it just annoys people and clogs up tags with unrelated things.

-Do not use #mine/craft, #mine/blr or #mine/craft youtubers (without the slash) unless you are talking about the actual game. There are people that don’t want to see things about mcyt, dsmp, etc. and we don’t want to clog up the tags. The tagging system will include the last one because it still contains #mine/craft.

-Don’t use #hermitcraft for 3rd Life content. 3rd life is a completely different series and deserves its own tag. Yes, a bunch of hermits are on the server, but by using the Hermitcraft tag, you flood the tag with non-Hermitcraft posts.

-Don’t use #hermitcraft for crossovers with the Dream SMP. Use #hc x dsmp so that the Hermitcraft tag isn’t flooded.

-(Hermitblr exclusive) Don’t put posts with ships on the main tags. Separate the content so that it’s not shown to people who don’t want to see it. Instead, use the tags: #hermitship, #hermitshipblr, #hermitshipping. Avoid using the main character tags as well ex: #grian, #impulsesv. Use the ship name tags instead ex: #jleo, #grumbo, #scardubs.

-If you see someone using the wrong tags/tags they shouldn’t use, politely tell them. Ex: Someone used #mine/craft on a Dream SMP post, so you tell them in their asks/replies that the Mine/craft tag is exclusive to the actual game.

-Search it up if you don’t know what to tag your post.  Go to Tumblr’s search and see how other people are tagging things similar to your post. There’s many alternative tags here (ex: #dream smp vs #dsmp) so don’t worry too much about it. I also have a list of tags you can use:

(#[ign] is usually used for the CC and character. If the character’s from the Dream SMP, you can tag #c![ign])

Mcyt: #mcyt, #mcytblr

3rd Life: #3rd life, #3rd life smp, #3rdlife, #3rdlifesmp

Dream SMP: #dream smp, #dreamsmp, #dsmp, #dsmpblr

Dream Team: #dream team, #dreamteam, #dteam, #dteamblr

Empires SMP: #empires smp, #empiressmp, #empiresmp, #empiresblr

Hermitcraft: #hermitcraft, #hcraft, #hermitblr

Origins SMP: #osmp, #origins smp, #hybrid smp, #powers smp

Sleepybois inc: #sleepy bois inc, #sleepy boys inc, #sleepyblr, #sbiblr

Tales from the SMP: #tftsmp, #tales from the smp, #talesfromthesmp

Other

-Don’t use ‘<’ in asks because it’ll delete everything that appears after it in the ask.

-Block anyone who calls themself an anti-anti or pro-ship. Just don’t deal with it.

-If a post seems really personal or the op said they’re gonna delete it later, either don’t reblog, or ask if you can.

-It’s not required, but much appreciated if you add image/video descriptions for the people who use screenreaders. Guide on it here.

-Follower counts are always private. We don’t do follow for follow here, Tumblr clout doesn’t matter.

-Edits on posts do not appear on reblogs that happened before the edit. Edits are still seen on the original post + if it was under a read more.

-Tumblr is very hungry and may accidentally eat your asks. If someone doesn’t answer, you can always ask if it went through.

-Your blog is for yourself, so don’t feel pressured to post about one thing only or feel bad about spam reblogging. Your blog is what you like, and if other people go: “hey! I also like this!” then that’s great!

-Reblogs alone don’t automatically give a post more exposure. You need to tag reblogs so that they show up and get recommended to people. Unless you have a large following, there’s a minuscule chance an untagged reblog would get any attention at all. This is incredibly important if you’re reblogging to share an artist’s work or something similar.

Blogs I recommend (aka me exposing who I follow on my other blog):

Tumblr History: heritageposts, hellsite-hall-of-fame

Mcytblr History: mcytblr-hall-of-fame, penis-smp-archive, mcytblr

Community (mostly artists) : timedeo, poorlydrawndsmp, cyani07, wooteena, beacon-lamp, ups1gbt3f7op3dr, kazuallyy, chiyahowo, taytei, linktoo-doodles, moncuries, bansq, sunlit-mess, kateis-cakeis, geoguessbur, metfell, craftiebo, lucylee158, qarameiio, wolfythewitch, cloudzaminecraft, jazetallo-art , wembly-art,  hermitcraftheadcanons, pomodoko

(Didn’t want to notify them so I didn’t @ them, edit: added more blogs, rip to people who rbed this before the addition of penis-smp-archive, a blog that contains the history of the fake SMP dsmpblr made in response to an anti. Despite being called Penis SMP, the most nsfw thing about it are the character names.)

I hope this was helpful, welcome to Tumblr!

[sombreboy]

The heist p.1 ♕ yandere!OT7

▎ 18+ ▎ pairing: yandere!bankrobbers!OT7xbankclerk!y/n ▎ genre: smut, yandere ▎ word count: 3.2k ▎ warnings: smut, yandere, death threat, guns, cursing, manipulation, possessive behaviour, oral (f receiving), fingering, mouthfucking, unprotected sex with multiple men, kidnapping, future stockholm syndrome esque themes. Original idea by @lovesexyprettythings​ , thank you for letting me write this in my own style. ♥ Seven men, one dream. To be rich, without having to work a day longer in their lives. Solution? A bank heist. They were just lucky to find a new plaything in the midst of it.

The plan was carefully perfected. Nothing could go wrong.

There were seven of them, all hungry for money and luxuries, but they were done with society and it's standards. Working wasn't an option, especially not when this seemed so easy.

Their plan was bulletproof, fault free. Ready for execution. Only four of them would be going inside of the bank, while two would be waiting in a van outside, ready for pickup.

The last one, the brain behind the entire plan, would stay behind at their safehouse, monitoring the entire heist, hacking into the systems through his computers.

''Get into position, boys. I'm temporarily disabling their power systems in 3...2...'' Namjoon's voice echoed in their in-ear communicatirs, and at the last second, the entire building goes dark, alarms disabled and electricity shut down.

The four men went in, the one in front waving for his men to follow. They kept their weapons hidden, but within reach and ready. However, they were strictly told by Namjoon to never kill, unless absolutely necessary. Some men agreed to this more than others, but orders were orders. And they could not afford to mess this up for simple thirst for blood.

They run into an obstacle, a woman standing in their way.

You.

You were a hardworking bankclerk who was seated inside of your office when the electricity was shut down. You tried to navigate towards the power office to fix the electricity, using the flashlight of your phone to see where you're going, but was abruptly stopped when you crashed your face into the chest of a man who barely moved from the force of your thud.

''A-ah, I'm sorry, I-'' You stuttered, looking up to see the face of the man, but it was covered by a mask, eyes shining red through his infrared glasses.

You were startled, trying to scream, ''mmpfh!'' But was quickly silenced as the man forcefully pinned you against the wall with his body, one hand covering your mouth.

''Shush, baby... We wouldn't want anybody to know that I'm here, do we?'' Hoseok whispered with an amused voice into your ear, his breath hot against your skin,

''Now be a good girl, and tell me what I want to hear, hm?''

You were afraid, feeling the rush of adrenaline and fear flow through your spine, but at the same time, this rush was exciting. Your day to day life was nothing but ordinary, boring, and even if this was possibly a threat to your life, you felt more alive than ever at this very moment.

Struggling, you were trying to get him off of you, shoving against his body to no avail. He was at a great advantage in both height and strength compared to you.

Hoseok's eyed your body from top to bottom as he easily held you in place, his gaze roaming your every curve that he was able to see from this angle. Licking his lips, he leaned in closer as he inhaled a deep breath, smelling the mild perfume that you always wear.

''Hobi!'' A new, younger yet stronger voice caught the attention of the man pinning you, ''We aren't here to fool around, get the fuck off of her and help us, will you?!''

''Y-yes, JK...'' Hoseok sighed, withdrawing himself from your body, apparently this JK guy had more power within this group. The sudden loss of the pressure from his body giving you an easier time to breathe.

Your eyes quickly traveled over to the other man in the room, feeling a shiver run down your spine at his intense, intimidating stare. You were unable to utter a word, scared to trigger any of these men. You swallowed tightly, the noise of your swallow a tad bit too loud in the quiet room.

What was he doing? Was he gonna kill you?

This is it.

Your couldn't control your trembling body, fear rushing through you, your eyes staring down at the floor to avoid their gazes as Jungkook stepped closer to you. Hoseok still held you in place with his strong hands.

When JK stopped in front of you, all you could look at was the combat boots he was wearing.

''You can keep a secret for us, can't you, kitten?'' Jungkook said with an amusent tone to his voice. You looked up at his face, only to notice that he'd taken off his mask, his intense eyes now looking right through you.

He was incredibly handsome, with a strong, defined jawline and dark curls framing his almost otherworldy face, making your heart skip a beat even in these circumstances.

The electricity was back, but the alarms were still off, so you could get a proper look at him. You noticed the scar on JK's cheek, a vague flaw to his almost harmless eyes, reminding you that he was anything but harmless.

You nodded at his question, another tight swallow followed. He frowned, his large, calloused hand grasped your jaw to force you to look at him properly.

''Use your words, kitten. Answer me. Can you?''

''Y-yes...'' You croak out weakly.

''Good girl.'' He chuckled darkly, a wicked amused tone to his voice. Something about his voice and dominance made your body heat up several degrees. Being at their mercy was turning you on.

Jungkook kept his grasp around your jaw as he smiled wickedly,

''Yes, what?''

You let out a shaky breath, your eyes wide and confused as they flickered between Jungkook and Hoseok, both staring at you with playful smiles. Without thinking, you just answered with the first thought that hit you,

''Y-yes, sir...?''

Jungkook lets the pads of his fingers smooth the skin of your jaw as he lets go, a satisfied smile curling on his lips,

''What a good babygirl... And they keep such a well behaved, pretty girl like you hidden in the back office,'' He paused and looked you up and down, his tongue prodding the inside of his cheek in thought, ''If you promise that you'll be a good, obedient girl I will let you live.... But if you're a bad girl,'' Another pause followed as he caressed the gun poking out of his backpocket, ''I don't mind putting a bullet straight through that pretty little skull of yours..''

Your eyes widen, stomach dropping in fear as you feel tears well up in your eyes, ''Please–''

Jungkook silences you by stepping closer again, crouching down until he's eye level with you. His wide stare was piercing through your very being, and the following smile on his face made little wrinkles appear in the corners of his eyes. He's way too beautiful,

''Shh, baby... You don't want to die, do you?''

You shake your head frantically, the tears are now escaping to roll down your cheeks, eyes pleading with him as you ramble out your words,

''Please, please, I p-promise!... Please don't kill me, I'll do anything you want, I'll be a good girl, I–''

Jungkook reaches out to swipe away your tears, hushing you,

''I knew you'd be a good girl. Now come with me.''

On wobbly legs, you follow behind Jungkook, with Hoseok following closely behind you. He leads you to the big safe of the bank.

This safe was impossible to open, only staff was able to open it.

That's where you came in handy.

You looked around, noticing the building felt empty, so you were urged to ask this question,

''What did you do to everyone else?''

''They're taken care of. Bound, but unharmed. The police hasn't been alarmed as of yet.'' He chuckled as you both walked up to the door.

You gasped when you felt Hoseok pressing his gun against your back from behind,

''Open it.''

The two men waited as you pressed in the code on the pad after scanning your fingerprints, and the door finally clicks open as a green light appears.

Jungkook pushes the door open, running inside as he puts down the bags the brought with a thud, starting to fill it up with all the money he could possibly grab.

Hoseok orders you to stand in the corner of the room where they could keep an eye on you before he does the same, helping Jungkook to fill the bags with all their upcoming riches.

''We're really doing it, JK!'' Hoseok sings out.

Jungkook remains focused at this task, ''Let's celebrate when we're actually done here.'' He looks over at you, ''Stay.''

They finish loading the bags, hiding them by the backdoor where Jimin and Taehyung will grab them and load up the back of the van.

''All done here?'' Jimin asks as he throws the bags inside of the van.

Jungkook shakes his head,

''Almost done, we will be out soon. Just one more treasure left.'' Jungkook stares at you with a smirk as he says it, glancing over at Hoseok.

Hoseok instantly knew what JK meant, a smirk on his lips as well as he licks and bites his lower lip.

Jungkook looks back at Jimin & Taehyung,

''Take the money and jewelry back to the safehouse, then come pick us up with a different car. They won't find us easily this way.''

Taehyung nods, quickly rushing over to the drivers seat, Jimin closing the backdoors before jumping into the passenger side. They drive off, and Jungkook gestures for Hoseok to follow him back inside to the safe.

To their last treasure.

You.

Jungkook & Hoseok stride in, a smirk on both of their faces.

''We have plenty of time together, kitten.'' Jungkook announces.

''And you've been looking absolutely delicious all night.'' Hoseok adds with a grin.

''N-no, dont...'' You barely get your words out, sounding weak, lifting your arms up as if to protect yourself. Jungkook smiles, grabbing your wrists to remove them from your face as he crouches in front of your sitting stature.

Jungkook leans in closer, his face barely inches from your trembling lips,

''Didn't you say that you'd do anything? Hmm? You promised...''

He almost looked disappointed, a crease between his eyebrows when he frowned, ''Good girls don't lie, do they? Are you a bad girl?''

You shook your head, ''N-no, I'm... good..''

Hoseok chuckled, catching your attention. He was still wearing his mask, but his body looked incredible from what you could see. And Jungkook was so handsome.

''Be a good girl for us and spread your legs, and let us play with you. We promise that you'll love it. What do you say?'' Hoseok's tone was playful, and convincing.

And, it's not like you had a choice. They weren't afraid to put a bullet in your brain if necessary. At least.. that's what they said.

You nodded, biting your lower lip as you stood up with Jungkook's help, your hands slowly reaching down to pull your skirt up for them.

Jungkook takes a step back to admire the view, giving quick, meaning glances to Hoseok whom quickly raises his eyebrows in their unspoken communication, licking his lips at the view of your panties and thighs being revealed.

Hoseok quickly gets rid of the mask covering his face, shoving it down into his pocket before dropping to his knees in front of you.

You silently cheer, as odd as it seems in this situation, for the fact that both of these men are absolutely drop dead gorgeous.

''She's already so wet, JK, shit–'' Hoseok announces from below as he rips your lingerie off, wasting no time in diving his tongue between your soppy folds, tasting and lapping up your juices like a starved man.

Jungkook is busy from above, standing next to you and swallowing every single one of your moans and whimpers into his own as he kisses you hungrily, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth to lick your teeth and tongue.

''Such a dirty, dirty girl... Letting herself be so easily subdued by two bankrobbers, knowing they're gonna fuck her so good, hm? Hard to resist us?'' Hoseok says as he keeps lapping at your cunt.

Jungkook smirks into the kiss from Hoseok's words.

Hoseok withdraws from your pussy to look up at the two of you, his lips and chin completely glistening with your arousal,

''Just look at this shit, JK... Her pussy is dripping, so needy for us to fuck her already.''

Jungkook stops kissing you, crouching down to take a good look at your cunt. He nods, glancing over at Hoseok before picking up his phone from his backpocket,

''Let me call Jimin & Tae over. It wouldn't be fair not to let them enjoy this as well.... But, I'll be the first one to use her.'' He smirks as he presses the phone to his ear, watching as Hoseok spreads your pussy with his thumbs.

''You guys better come over, we found a needy plaything that wants so, so much attention.'' JK hangs up, just at the same second as you were getting impatient,

''P-please, do something... I can't wait anymore..'' You whimper.

Jungkook smirks, already working on the belt of his pants, pulling them down below his hips, just enough for him to be able to pull his cock out to fuck you.

''What a needy girl we found, huh?'' Hoseok mused.

''You're absoutely right, hyung.'' Jungkook agreed, his hand smoothing up your thigh before his fingers reach your soppy cunt, pushing his fingers inside of you to gather your arousal. He pulls his fingers back out of you before you could feel any pleasure from them, using the gathered wetness to spread it over his length along with spitting on it, making sure it's properly lubed up for you.

He strokes his cock to full erection before pushing you up against the wall, one leg held up by the back of your knee and the other hanging freely, his strength enough to hold your smaller frame up.

He aligns himself with your dripping, aching pussy before pushing inside of you without warning, the burning stretch of his girth making you cry out in pain and pleasure. Your pent up need for them had you already close to cumming, whining and whimpering out 'yes' over and over as a chant as Jungkook pistons his hips into you with rigorous strength.

All the other guys had joined in to watch as Jungkook fucks you with animalistic hunger, and Jimin leans over to the other men with a snicker, ''He must have been starved of a good fuck for quite a while.''

Jungkook keeps fucking into you, low grunts and moans rolling off his lips as he finally stills his movements when he cums, releasing all of his thick, hot cum inside of you. You gasp, the feeling of his cock throbbing so fucking amazing.

Your legs were trembling, breath heavy as Jungkook beckons the others to come closer, gathering around the two of you,

''You were such a good girl for me, kitten.... But now show me how good you can be for the others as well.''

He pulls himself out of you, letting you drop down to your knees on the floor, a hot mess already. Jungkook takes a step back, hand back to stroke his cock to the scene he's about to witness.

''Show her a good fucking time, guys.'' Jungkook groans as he touches himself slowly, Taehyung joining in on simply enjoying the show with his eyes fixed on you.

You swallow tightly with a gulp, already tired but still excited for what's coming you way, your heart pounding heavily as if it's gonna beat out of your chest.

''Fuck, yes, finally!'' Jimin exclaims as he unbuckles his belt quickly, Hoseok doing the same. Hoseok swiftly forces you onto all fours on the floor, but Jimin just as quickly shoves Hoseok out of the way to claim his spot between your legs, aligning his cock with your cunt before pushing his length into you, one hand surprising you with a harsh smack.

You cry out a loud moan, the people bound in a different room probably able to hear your cries, scared and unknowing of the situation.

Jimin laughs wickedly as he thrusts his hips with precise movements, ''What a dirty slut, she loves this! She probably fucking loves the position she's in right now!''

Hoesok was impatient, instead positioning himself by your mouth as he pushes his cock against your lips, ''Suck on it, babygirl.''

You obey, taking his cock into your mouth, the momentum of Jimin's rough thrusting forcing you to take Hoseok's cock deep down your throat, your body rocking back and forth between them as they both fuck both of your holes.

''She's so bad, probably the worst out of all of us for getting off on this. She's letting us use her like a fucking toy while everyone else is trembling in fear for their lives!'' Hoseok laughs mockingly.

''And here she is, getting her holes fucked by the very robbers themselves!'' Jimin chimes in with a sadistic giggle, another harsh smack landing on your ass as he keeps fucking into you rougher, faster chasing his high.

''Are you enjoying this, kitten?'' Jungkook moans from where he's watching, seeing the way your body jiggles and bounces sinfully for them is shameless.

You close your eyes, muffled moans escaping your throat as Hoseok fucks it, wet and sloppy and he groans in pleasure.

''Maybe she's falling for us!'' Jimin mocks, his voice strained and heavy as he moans out loud when his hips stutter as he cums inside of your cunt, mixing his cum with Jungkook's.

Hoseok grabs your hair, forcing you to swallow when he cums down your throat with a guttural moan vibrating in his chest, ''F-fuckk shes so good!''

They both pulled out of you, leaving you a hot mess of cum, sweat and your own juices as you laid down on the floor with a thud. All men stood up, putting their pants back on properly and running their hands through their hair, looking as if nothing just happened.

Taehyung stared down at you, then back up at the others.

''So, what do we do with her?''

Jimin smiled, his eyes disappearing into the shapes of crescent moons, ''I like her a lot, we should bring her back for Yoongi, Namjoon & Jin to enjoy!''

Hoseok agrees, ''They would fucking love her.''

Jungkook grabs you into his arms, fixing your outfit before carrying you bridal style, ''Let's take her then, she's ours from now on.. I want to play with her more.''

They sneaked out into their civil car, driving off just in time before the cops came to the bank, and made it back to their safehouse.

Yoongi opened the door, moving away for the boys to walk inside, but his eyes widen as he sees Jungkook stride in with you in his arms.

''Who the fuck is that?'' Yoongi frowned.

Jungkook put you in their bed, and Yoongi followed the boys to watch your sleeping body.

''It's our new plaything, we brought her for you guys to try out.'' Jungkook announced.

''Yeah!'' Jimin hugged Yoongi, a smirk playing on his lips, ''Her pussy feels fucking heavenly... Let's give her a rest, then she's all yours.''

You were definitely gonna wake up to some fun.

© sombreboy 2020. Do not edit, repost or translate.

[kingquest]

II

There's a slow, burning tension in his leg. It pulses, aches, like a knot strung too tightly around some distant extremity, the pain reverberates through his bones and marrow and finally congeals somewhere in his head. Dizziness threatens to suffocate and lethargy pools with his blood; he's too distracted to notice the newfound scrapes and tears trailing up his torso.

His helmet weighs heavy against his chest. He stirs, struggling to pull his head up. He stares blearily at his boots, only half-noticing the binds that tie them. He glances at his leg, which by all accounts should be splattered against moonrock, only to find freshly applied bandages instead. A fibery gauze has been wrapped underneath his clothing, snug and bloody.

He tries to pull himself upward, but his muscles reject him. His back falls onto a rocky surface behind him, followed by his hands and elbows, both also bound.

"Morning."

He freezes. White noise gnaws at the following silence. Adrenaline shoots through him, his fingertips lighting up with stars, but no matter the strain, no matter the exertion, he still can't fucking move. It takes all of his willpower to jut out his chin just enough to get a better angle, to peer out from behind his mask to find the voice, and in the end the tendons in his neck scream nearly as loud as the bullet wound. His effort is finally rewarded with the sight of a terran sitting atop a storage device in front of him, a thermos in one hand and his own gun in the other. She smirks at him.

Recognition comes slow. The memory of how he got here is trudging behind. Still, when the other shoe drops, so does his gut. He tenses, fighting against the ropes, only for a headache to strike back with a vengeance.

Skullcap droops.

His target sneers.

She says, "I was worried you might not wake up. Some people don't."

She leans forward, the gun not leaving her hip. She squints.

"Seems like the paralyzer's still in you some. I'll have to let my tox man know."

Skullcap says nothing.

"It'll probably fade," she says. She sips at her drink, shrugging. "If it doesn't, well, I can at least say I tried to opt for mercy."

She sits, waiting. Her eyes roll over him, like she's sizing him up. She adjusts the gun ever so slightly, taking a glance at it. Skullcap keeps his mouth shut.

"I knew you were coming. I mean, obviously. What'd he say, 'alive, not dead?' Bet he wants a crack at me himself." She laughs, tilting her thermos back.

As she swallows, she goes silent, almost expectantly so. She tilts her head, pursing her lips. The back of her heel bounces off of her seat.

"You're making this so boring. The silent, intimidating thing doesn't work on me, babe. I've already got you cornered." She sighs. "Come on, don't you have any questions for your predecessor? Or were you just going to shoot me down?"

Skullcap doesn't have an answer for that. He watches her, his head hung low. His hands clasp and unclasp behind him.

She scoffs.

"If you're not going be any fun about this--"

"How do you figure this is mercy?"

Vaira's brows raise. Then she huffs a laugh.

"For one thing, I didn't take your silly little helmet off."

He sighs. It teeters on relief.

"That, and you're still breathing. Moron." She swings her legs. "Is it not enough that I wanted to meet you? I hear he's put quite a bit of stock in you."

Skullcap bristles.

"Though," she says, "he did send you on a bit of a suicide mission."

He clears his throat. "How's that?"

"Either he overestimates you or he underestimates me. And I'm fairly certain it's not the latter." She examines her nails. "The way I see it, it's more than likely there's a bug on your ship. Aside from the literal vermin you keep, of course. They're tracking you, so if you end up keeling over somewhere, they've got a better idea of where I am."

This flood of information is too much at once. He hesitates, processing. His kneejerk response is defensiveness. "It's... not vermin."

She laughs. "Do you even have a license for that thing? If it's your partner, you know you'd need a contract with the guild, yeah?"

Her words buzz around in Skullcap's head. They refuse to stick. He just stares at her, adjusting his arms.

She waves dismissively. "Don't worry. I won't tell anyone. Besides, we've gotten so off track anyhow." In a quick gesture, she leans behind her, his gun unmoving. She plucks a tablet out from somewhere, scanning through it.

"Shocked we couldn't get a proper name on you. I would've dug further, but," she gestures to her surroundings. "Let's see. God, Typhor? Of all places? I suppose that was a given, but... still." She grimaces.

She glances up at him, scrutinizing. She adds, as if speaking to herself, "I wonder if he pulled you by your scruff from the dunes or if you actually wax pious. I've seen those scars of yours; my initial assumption feels apt, but I could be wrong. Either way, he's got you hooked somehow."

Skullcap pushes himself forward, heat gathering in his throat and jaw. "Now, look--"

"--You've had some decent jobs," she says, as if he'd said nothing at all. "But you've also had some real shit ones. I heard you shot someone in court." She clicks her tongue.

He stifles a groan. "None of this is any concern to you. It isn't your business."

"Honey," she says. "I've already strip-searched you. And dressed your wound--"

"From your bullet."

"--Which was an act of kindness on my part that none will see the likes of again. May I remind you, you were sent to disable me, or perhaps even kill me, so therefore I consider myself privy to all your dirty little secrets. Unless you'd like to do something about it?"

Skullcap stares at her. She leers.

"I thought not. Now, where were we?"

"Can you just cut to the goddamn chase? Please? If you're gonna kill me, get on with it, but if not--"

"Do they not have rapport in Typhor? Or do they just shoot people down like bloody dogs when they disagree?"

Skullcap's head tilts, indignant. She sighs.

"I suppose you're right. Even still, there's nothing wrong with a little conversation. I'd prefer that over a bullet in my head. And it's not like you introduced yourself. You just stormed into what you assumed was my hideout, gun drawn. Where are you manners, Skully?"

They watch each other wordlessly. Her nails tap rhythmically against the aluminum of her thermos. Her brow is quirked. His helmet hangs low, his eyes cast over in shadow. If no one knew any better, it'd be easy to assume there was nothing behind the gaping holes of his headwear at all.

It dawns on him that she, however, isn't so easily fooled. It's like she stares right through him, past the metal and chrome. Like her pupils are little scalpels, probing and dissecting. He believes that she's true enough to her word, that she didn't remove it, only because he's not sure if it would even matter if she had. She's playing like she's already seen everyone else's hand, and yet the only other player at the table that's losing is him.

He grunts. She huffs a laugh.

"Perhaps they don't teach you any of those on Typhor either." She shifts her legs, refolding them. "Would you prefer that I go first?"

Silence. He is trying to stop himself from sinking lower onto the floor.

"Very well." She straightens herself, extending her hand as if she wasn't several meters away and his hands weren't already bound. "Allow me to make your acquaintance. My name is Vaira Talwar and I'll be your mark this evening. Welcome to my home away from home."

Vaira gestures to the cave surrounding them. The humidity compresses into him; he's able to make out a distant dripping of water. The caves probably lead to a reservoir, or something of that nature. Must be how she's survived.

"I'm sure you've met my partner on the way in. She was very excited to meet you."

He stutters then, as if buffering. His helmet raises to see her better; her expression is stone, smug. He was warned of no accomplice. Her eyes brighten considerably, as if the helmet's somehow conveyed his alarm. Her mouth twists into a smirk.

She sets her drink down, raising her fingers to her lips. She whistles a sharp, airy sound unlike anything he's ever heard, and in an instant, the dim light behind him is blotted out by a massive silhouette. The shadow cuts through the cave's stilled air as dust swarms behind it, loose particles filtering in from underneath his helmet. He coughs through it, unable to wave away space to breathe, and once the debris settles and his breath is steady enough to see, he is filled with a deep understanding, one that piles onto to the preexisting load of dread hanging in his chest.

Vaira's arm is outstretched, covered with a metallic sleeve he doesn't remember seeing her put on. It's armored fabric, perfectly able to support the massive talons of her apparent partner. The thing's feathered head tilts at him, brassy and angular. Its beak comes to a wicked point and, at a passing glance, seems to have been gilded with gold. Vaira clicks her tongue at it and it shrieks, its golden eyes not leaving him. She places the gun down long enough to run her fingers through its feathery chin.

"Aquila, Skullcap. Skullcap, Aquila." She leans forward, cupping her hand over her mouth as if relaying a secret. "And of course, she's a guild member. Licensed and everything. I'd hate to get fined, or worse!" She barks a laugh. The eagle ruffles its feathers.

Skullcap simmers. Of course, she takes notice.

"Come on. Don't be so chuffed. It's not my fault they didn't warn you, is it?" She adjusts her arm and Aquila shimmies to her shoulder. Vaira points to her claws. "If you're wondering what exactly you've got running through you, take a look."

At second glance, the points of the bird's central nails shift into an almost transparent finish; a middle-ground between grey and pink. They're hooked inward and almost... hollow looking. Like fangs, he realizes. The weight from his chest spreads through him like nausea.

Vaira, unphased, coos at the monster upon her shoulder. It preens in return, chittering from somewhere within its throat.

"I've always been the type to work from above," she says, "but Aquila can see what even I can't. It's why we work together so well." Vaira pauses, not once casting a wayward eye back to Skullcap. "I've got a mate who distills her toxins. The bullet breaks down with its own velocity and melts like butter on impact. Penetrates, but not enough to shred through entirely. Just enough to dig through to an artery."

She turns back to him now, her grin slow and easy. "It's a bounty hunter's best friend."

Skullcap opts to stare. He would rather not give her the satisfaction.

Her expression gradually flattens. Her eyes roll. She shakes out her shoulder and Aquila jumps, swoops over him, and perches behind his rock; her shadow looms before him.

"I weep for our mutual friend's taste. Seems like it's worsened since I knew him. Maybe he thinks boring would keep him safer. Or at least, less likely to lose his new favorite toy."

"I'm mostly wondering what this is all leading up to."

She pauses. "Oh?"

"At this point," he says, "You've had ample chances to kill me. Between your gun, my gun, and whatever the hell she is, the way I see it, you're either stalling or you're lonely."

Vaira's brows raise. Her lips purse. Skullcap can't quite read her expression. He talks past it regardless.

"So," he says, "which is it? You keep talking about him, but as far as I'm concerned, you're the one who ran out on him. Just now figuring out crime doesn't pay?"

Her cheeks twitch. The corners of her lips draw deeper into her face, panning out into a barely restrained simper, before the first peal of laughter escapes her lungs entirely. She's overwhelmed just as quick, nearly doubling over and off her seat. He watches her wipe a false tear from her cheek with her shooting hand's pinkie and even as she composes herself, she's racked with occasional chuckles.

"You think--" she pauses to laugh, "--You think I'm lonely? You think I'm lonely because I quit my job?"

"Now I didn't say that."

Vaira throws her head back. She leans forward again with an amused sigh, shaking her head.

"Listen babe. You've got me all wrong. Let me tell you something." She leans forward, almost conspiratorial. Her voice drops to a whisper. "I've never felt more free in my goddamn life."

She drops her legs from the container, sliding off into a stand. She takes a step closer, his gun dangling at her thigh.

"And maybe," she says, "maybe if you'd open your eyes for once, you'd see I'm trying to pay you a fucking kindness. Mercy, remember?"

He squints. "I don't follow."

Vaira takes a deep, dramatic breath. Her thumb digs into her brow. "Fuck, mate. Are you really this dense? I'm trying to give you an out."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Do you even hear yourself?" She scoffs. "Of course I've had ample time to kill you. I could've done it a dozen times now." She lifts the gun, shuts an eye and takes aim. "Bang. You're dead. Or, bang," she points somewhere lower, "Dead again. It's so easy I could do it in my fucking sleep. But I haven't. Because here's the part you're missing, you stupid arsehole; we can be of mutual aid to each other."

He feels like she's struck him across the helmet with the gun. He works through the false tinnitus.

"What about any of this is mutual?"

"Must I spell it out for you?" She rolls her eyes, taking a step forward. "I'm letting you live. I'm letting you live so that you can let me live. And if we're lucky, we can both get out of this rotten deal we've found ourselves in."

"You mean... this?"

"No," she says, "his deal."

He hesitates, considering this for a moment. "There's no deal. I'm a freelancer."

"I thought that too. Like I said; I'm your predecessor, mate. In every sense." Her expression shifts. Humor leaves her in waves. "I was independent until, one day, I woke up and I wasn't."

They hadn't told him that, either.

"So, what?" He shifts his weight, the joints of his hands afflicted by pins. "You just up and left?"

She turns to stare at him for a moment. "How long have you been under his employment?"

"You're avoiding the question."

"I'm gauging how I'll answer. You go first."

His breath gets caught between a groan and a sigh. Every exchange is a new defeat.

"Two jobs," he says.

For an instance, a fragment of a second, something close to sympathy--or empathy?--softens her features. As soon as it comes, her natural sharpness returns.

"Then you don't know what he is. You can't see how deep in it you are yet."

"So," his brow furrows behind the helmet, "you're saying that if I help you now, you'll be doing me some favor by... what, saving me from the very same man that hired me to catch you?"

"Something along those lines."

"Right," he says. "Alright. Question."

"Shoot."

"Is your head screwed on right?" He lifts his neck, measuring his own strength. "How dumb do you think I am?"

A laugh rumbles in her chest in spite of his tone. "I don't think you want me to answer that."

"Har har." He huffs. "Can we be serious? I mean, why in the name of anything would I believe you, Kingfisher? After all of this?"

She brushes her hair back. She inhales slow. "Look. I know this seems like a classic case of the devil you know versus the devil you don't, but I'm trying to play in good faith. I'm turning a new leaf, yeah? I don't know how much of my reputation you've caught wind of, but--"

"--You killed eight people. Nine, if we're counting the decoy from the cave. 'Far as I know, that's all I need to know."

"Eight still," she replies, "But even then, they were eight bad people. Eight people who have been around him much longer than I have and still want nothing more than to exist in his shadow, hoping he'll even pass a glance towards them." She purses her lips with a sigh through her nose. "I'm not naive nor insane enough to suggest that what I did set them free, that it was justified somehow, but if I was so deluded as to fall completely victim to his bullshit like that, I'd rather die."

He hums. "Is this supposed to get me to believe you?"

She rubs the bridge of her nose. "Alright. Sure. Think of me as awful or evil or whatever the hell you want. Go on. I don't need to explain myself to you and, quite frankly, I don't care to." She shifts, jutting a finger out at him. "But I need you to know--to realize--that whatever you think I am or however you see me, he's ten times as bad. He's the worst kind of person there is, hell, even calling him a person would be an undeserved compliment."

He watches her jaw clench, the strain of the tendons in her cheeks. Her gaze drifts, following a thought unseen, before she trains herself upon Skullcap again.

"He's a monster," she says. "The kind that makes running with an inevitable bounty seem like a far better alternative."

A chorus of thoughts speak over each other, everything suddenly hurtling toward him too quickly. It muddles together, registering more like the echo of blood against the shell of his ear. His focus becomes overwhelmed by parsing through each voice before it dissolves into nothing, his judgement clouds over. He feels himself approaching a threshold of a decision, whether to believe her or not, and while his senses scream at him to deny her, to resolve himself against her, there's something else there, something that's pleading with him to hear her out. It comes anytime he looks at her now, anytime she stares back, and despite her hard expression, despite the tension in her frame, her eyes refuse to settle. They wander, searching, almost uncertain. Or desperate, he thinks. He's seen desperate before in marks, but not quite like this. Not quite so... reliant.

Frustration burns like acid in his gut, rising through his chest and drying his tongue and he's not sure if it comes from her or his own mental strife. His boot wiggles in its binds.

"If you were anything like me," she says, like she's read his mind, "you'd have your eye on this gun. You'd be waiting for me to slip up, for my grip to falter. Waiting for your chance. You wouldn't even be listening to me, you'd just watch and wait."

"Look--"

"--But you're not like me. I've read your files. I studied your cases, waiting for you to show up. I had a hard time figuring out what drives you at first, but I'd neglected to consider Occam's razor. A good shooting hand can pay for most meals, can't it?"

He doesn't respond.

"But you don't go for the messy jobs. You'd rather take shit pay for something that'll let you sleep at night. Sure, you're a killer, but you've got a conscience. More than most of us can say for ourselves."

"What's your point," he says.

"You want to know what I'm saving you from?" She lowers herself to her haunches in front of him, her forearms resting over her knees. "I'm saving you from becoming like me. So you don't have to look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself how your decent heart ever turned so black."

He mulls on that. The flood of thoughts have softened to an erratic buzz.

He clings to his instincts, clearing his throat. "But you don't care about that. You're not even doing this for me. You're doing it to get an extension on your clock. And at the same time, you want to drag me down with you." He pauses. "I'll end up like you all the same. Running for the rest of my life."

Her brow twitches. "Isn't that better than losing your integrity? Or, hell, your sense of self?"

He isn't sure. The acid builds.

He shakes his head, pushing his doubt away. "The way you talk about him like that, it--it's ridiculous. I've got no reason to suspect him the way you say."

A memory unclogs itself and bubbles upward, but his trust is an ever-moving metronome. He hesitates, uneasy. He swallows harshly before opting to share. "You were right. He wants you back breathing. But he didn't seem angry so much as he seemed... disappointed. Or something between the two."

Her eyes narrow. "Betrayed?"

"Kinda," he says. "The impression I got was he wanted to, well, negotiate your terms."

Vaira's brow creases. No words follow. She instead focuses intently on his helmet, almost studious, her mouth pressed into a firm line.

"All I'm saying is--"

"--You're wrong," she says. "Your impression was wrong. You were lied to."

"How do I know that? Better yet, how do I know you aren't lying?"

"I don't have any reason to lie. I could've just killed you."

"You have every reason to lie," he says. "But I reckon that's a fair point."

"If you're so concerned with thinking I'm bullshitting you, then I'd like to make myself tremendously clear, for a moment. If we're being honest and all that."

Her voice lowers. She leans forward. "If you decide to take him at his word and bring me back to him, if it even crosses your mind, I swear to everything in my life I hold dear that I will not stop fighting you until one of the two of us is dead. And if you get the upperhand somehow, if you get your chance, I want you to promise me you won't miss."

He flinches. The air gets caught in his chest.

She adds, "They'll punish you less for that, if it helps. Better to lose one plaything than two."

The thoughts in his head have gone quiet all together. The metronome's gears grind.

He speaks again after a spell. "Say I believe you," he measures his words carefully. "Say I'm in. What then?"

Her expression clears ever so slightly. "Then we find the bug on your ship."

"My ship," he repeats.

"The three of us won't fit in mine," she says, simply. "We find it, tear it out, and leave it here. They'll send someone else in your place and by that time, we'll be long gone. I know a few good hiding spots, I'm sure you do too. You can drop me off somewhere, if it so bloody pleases you. It's easier for you; no one knows your face, your name. I could change mine I suppose, maybe swap species entirely."

"You might have the cash for something like this. But I sure as hell don't."

Vaira snickers. "Well, that's easy. I'm greedy, not stingy."

"We're still fucked, Kingfisher, no way around it."

"You've been fucked," she says. "You've been fucked since he found you as my replacement. I'm trying to unfuck you, 'Cap. This is our only chance."

His helmet lulls. Anxiety leeches the warmth from his hands.

"You offered a pretty good deal earlier, you know. If I shoot you, everybody gets off square, justice gets dealt. This shit fades, we'll be in my ship, I get a gun and it's over. What's to stop me from doing that?"

"You won't," she says.

"I won't," he repeats.

"No." She's smirking now, white glinting past her lips. "Because you're not like me."

His head jerks back. "What's that got anything to do with it?"

"For starters, you didn't notice that I lowered the gun ages ago."

His eye follows her arm. His gun sits between her knees, rocking back and forth, its grip held loosely between her thumb and index finger.

Skullcap exhales slow.

"That ain't any fair."

She snaps the gun back into her palm before he decides to prove her wrong. It's twirled into the holster on her leg and she stands with it, her hands finding her hips. She towers over him, shifting her weight to one leg.

"What is, in this business?"

From the ground, he isn't in a position to argue with that. He redirects instead.

"You sure keep acting like my opinion matters any, like I got some say."

"You're not a hostage," she says. "We'd be working together."

"Sure doesn't feel like it from here."

Vaira hums. "Do you trust me?"

"What do you think?"

"Then the feeling's mutual," she says. "And until you trust me, I can't trust you. But."

"But?"

"I'd like to. And I understand that earning your trust is not an easy feat, but we can work on it."

He laughs dryly through his nose. "You could start by untying me."

"You're so cute." She sighs. "Fine. Little by little. I'm not such a hard arse that I'll drag you there again this time. I'll free your legs once I'm ready."

"On the flip side of things, then." He readjusts, finally able to bend his knees through the binding. "What if I say no?"

She shrugs. "Would you prefer being left to die?"

He gestures loosely with his shoulders. "But wouldn't that be easier? What exactly do you gain from taking me?"

Her head tilts. She narrows her eyes, as if in thought. Her cheek twitches.

After a moment she says, "I'm not entirely sure." She sucks air through her teeth. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I am lonely. It's nice having someone to talk to after so long. Or, well, someone who talks back." She glances at the shadow behind him. "Sorry, my love."

The bird snaps its beak.

Skullcap dwells on her words. It was an intuition he'd pulled out from somewhere, but with hindsight, perhaps it'd been projection. For the first time he considers if this is some universal hunter experience, why so often those of his creed join together as a group. He reflects on his many hours spent within silence, between his own breath and the groan of his ship's hull. Sometimes he didn't mind it. Sometimes he did.

He wonders how Vaira spends her time alone. He wonders how she copes.

These ideas come at a surprise to him and he wills them away. They recede, but not far.

"Right." She bursts through his bubble and he jerks back into focus. "Well, I'm going to collect my things. Let me know what you decide. Or if you, ah, need anything."

She turns on her heel, stepping beyond the storage device, deeper into the cave. He hears the pull of metal across dirt and rock, the opening and closing of clasps unseen. Her head bobs distantly, wandering deeper into the stretch of cavern than he realized initially existed.

Aquila's nails drag across the rock above him, as if to remind him of her presence. He doesn't concern himself with it. Instead, he deflates with a breath he hadn't realized had accumulated, shrinking into the stone at his back. Neither his judgement nor his morals have any answers left to give him now. He visualizes his thoughts as a mass of white, intangible and empty. He opts to go limp, then, letting his head fall back with a clunk as he stares at the clusters of moonrock above.

He can't help but ask himself what she would do in his position. Then he realizes, of course, she'd already given him her answer. A gun provides an easy solution to any ethical dilemma.

Her earlier threat suddenly returns to him and settles anew, like something raw in his stomach. He suppresses a shudder. Skullcap has to remind himself that easy does not always mean just. Too many unanswered questions. Too much doubt.

His thoughts then, naturally, turn to the emperor. Skullcap cannot reconcile his own predicament with even the smallest proximity to Zusk; it's like his parts can't fit right in the picture, like if he willed it, the matter would simply dissolve before him. But as he considers it, he can't quite visualize how Zusk would address any transgression against him. The various middle men he's sent to deal with Skullcap can only convey so much about him, let alone his motives. Vaira's bias threatens to sway him; was that his intent all along? Or just an inadvertent flaw illuminated by hindsight?

Skullcap didn't know. He doesn't know. The uncertainty churns away at his insides and his knuckles dig into his forearms. He isn't sure what's worse: stuck, forced idle, waiting at an unknown precipice or not knowing which way he'd run even if he could.

So he opts to breathe. To focus on each breath as if it were his last, to savor them like a last meal. Every inhale welcomes a new exhale, another tick of the clock that he can claim as his own, something definitively his.

Until he's forced to move, to act, at least he will have this. At least this solution was still his own.

[originlist]

bron thots and hcs 99% harvested from rambling i sent to charri and didnt wanna retype yet

thinking about avicebrons workshop as i write. it is... a nice place to be i think. in my terms of nice. avicebron keeps it comfortably warm bc he likes it better that way. it smells like earth. warmly lit. there are various comfortable chairs because he used to just have one or two for himself and then he realized people kept coming by so hes just [sighs and adds another good chair and someone else drags in a bean bag or some shit]. hes got a bookshelf full of things. theres clutter but its an interesting kind of clutter and he knows where everything is anyways and the floor is cleared so ur not gonna trip over anything except maybe a golems whos keeping it tidy. its a chill place to read a book and if u ask nicely u can use some of the clay he keeps to makes lil figures with for fun. thonk bron: im going to make a place i like being in as a workshop narrator: this means other people will also like being there and sometimes hang out with you, which means you will be forced to acknowledge The Existence Of Other People bron: fuck. ive played myself

one day i will reread my source on kabbalah and itll be the end for everyone bc ive been interested in it since freshman year but its hard to find sources. and i have Thots about his golems but ill properly phrase them once im able to look thru my other primary source, for now i just ramble but basically his current golems except Adam arent like True Golems and even Adam is iffy because its moved past what a golem is

so proper golems are entities made thru certain specific magical rituals, and they are beings created generally by rabbis with a background in mysticism in order to help the community. a proper golem is highly autonomous and able to think on (almost) human level on its own, somewhat similar to a homunculus in proper homunculus lore but also, not. dont worry about it. i dont have the time to get into it. but one day. thats a threat. the final piece to animating them is writing on either them or an amulet they are given, which they can be returned back to earth by erasing the first letter they are, specifically, made to either help or protect which is why the reactor core thing is [singsong] bullshiiiiiiit

avicebrons golems are quickly made things that are more like basic familiars, as they possess a lower level of thought and dont follow ritual, the handoff of being less autonomy in exchange for being able to make a lot of them very quickly and easily so he doesnt count them as Proper Golems but he also classes them as More Useful For Our Situation Than A Proper Golem they can do chores and they will keep u safe but they also dissolve after a few hits

look the man’s disabled and he uses golems to make up for the fact, he doesnt need them to be durable or fully sapient he just needs them to do chores when he cant move his arms all the way and his back hurts

adam however (his NP) is a Proper Golem Plus Some. im ignoring the part where its like 'in fgo he also would need a mage or high level reactor to be its core' because thats stupid a proper golem doesnt need a core it just needs mystic words and some other stuff, but in exchange ill say he writes life into it using some part of his own magic plus whats drawn from his master, and the rest of Adam's unique reality marble ability is that it can pull mana from the earth directly quickly made familiars have mineral cores in order to like..... cores are the equivalent of when u pull back a ball on those clacker desk toys, where they keep going back and forth for longer than they should? the core jump starts the mana conversion procedure allowing it to create energy to move bc gems in fate are a good prana conduit

he can still do the thing of like. fuck i forget the word for it. earthbending. like he does in apoc where he just kinda draws shapes out of soil, but its only for various kinds of dirt. cant rly fuck with gems or metal but hes got bigass clay jars in his workshop full of dirt and clay and Various Rocks to make stuff ut of that he can control with a hand wave. it makes his life easier. bron vc do i LOOK like i can lift anything. i thought not.

uuhhhh other random bron infodumps bc i made other posts and then deleted them

no legge, prosthetics start at the hip ball-and-socket joint. arms yes. the second pair of arms is removable and attached to a thin plate that he can attach under his shoulders. the secondary shoulder joint is technically hypermobile and its easier to dematerialize/rematierialize them instead of putting them on and off. theyre usually not out unless he needs them for something. he is ambidextrious with all four of them and will show off in the name of efficient multitasking.

got a lotta facial scars from having acne as a young adult. pockmarks and the like. on top of his whole body being fucky.

does not like the cold!! makes both his physical and prosthetic joints feel stiff. will not mention it but will just [slowly recedes further into his cloak]

his hair is not as fun as it looks (to me). he hates having a body in general and so he will intentionally refuse to care for any non-prosthetic part of himself properly for it until it gets bad, so his hair is generally kinda dry and messy. its not Bad bad but its not great.

he takes better care of his fake legs than he does the parts of his body he cant replace and u should yell at him for it.

his cloak is also not as heavy as it looks like it should be. its carefully balanced. he can and will however bonk you with the pointy bits if you stand too close to him. forcibly mandated 4-ft personal bubble.

THIS MAN CLICK CLACKS WHEN HE MOVES AND I DONT CARE WHAT APOCS LACK OF SOUND EFFECTS TRIES TO IMPLY. this man WILL go click clack between his feet and the metal decoration thingies on his cloak bonking each other.

people who know shit about golem lore feel free to tell me all my books are packed but thoughts ping like ping-pongs

actually just tell me about folklore in general from any of u i like legends and mysticism 

if u have read this far tell me about some of ur folklore

[wormmomma]

MIDSOMMAR SPOILER REVIEW: this movie fucking broke me

CW:RAPE, ABUSE, PEDOPHILLIA

“Midsommar” is a grimm fairytale of sorts. A fairly different homage to the cult film the “wicker man”. “The wicker man” is about a european cult being investigated by a british christian cop, “midsommar” avoids the christian indictment of pagan/occult religious practices. midsommar attempts to be an out and out horror film unlike the a genre bending murder mystery/horror/thriller roots of “The wicker man”. Director ari aster obviously wanted to add to the annals of folk horror by creating an ambitious beautifully horrific and sometimes downright psychedelic film. Ari aster wanted to make a film where you can’t hide from the horror as it all happens in front of you. It's also a breakup movie for some reason? As someone who has seen the theatrical cut twice and the director's cut once I can assure you it misses the mark when taking both concepts. If you're wondering  whether not to watch the film i think that on a technical level “midsommar” is beautiful and has amazing cinematography, but the answer is yes, but no. Jordan Peele was shown an advance copy of the film and told Aster "I think you’ve made the most idyllic horror film of all time" that high praise. But that  being said for personal reasons this will be my final time seeing the film. I think the director's cut is a gorgeous and amazing three hour film. But as someone personally affected by rape, pedophillia, and the victimization mentally or physically handicapped people i cant reccomend this film wholeheartedly. I'm far from squeamish and love films that revel in shock, horror and extremity but I cannot in good conscious recommend a film I almost walked out on. I think Ari Aster has backpedaled immensely in his ability to create horror that exhibits empathy for his characters and the triumphs and tragedies that he subjects them too. “Hereditary” had an amount of emotional pathos for its characters that was almost completely removed from “Midsomer”. The fim feels unreasonably cruel even for a horror movie. Although enjoyable, proceed with caution “Midsommar” is a beautiful, slow, horrific but ultimately controversial mess of a film. 8/10

 (the rest of this review is a plot synopsis and a meditation on the more controversial passages in the movie and is to be read for those who have actually seen midsommar. Spoilers abound!) 

So what’s it  about? 

Midsommar is about Dani, an anxious and vulnerable young woman dating an emotionally abusive and reserved boyfriend named christian. After her bipolar sister commits suicide and murders both there parents, Dani goes on a european excursion with cristian with his anthropologist friends as they study a swedish cults midsommar summer solstice tradition. Dani reeling not only from having her parents taken from her by their favorite child, but also from the lack of any real emotional support goes on a gorgeous, psychedelia, induced nightmare of the cult horror variety. Immediately after touching down on the swedish cult's beautiful grassy commune christian manipulates dani into taking psychedelics. Christian although quite emotionally stunted and quite meek at his core is very sly and amazing at working people. Watching Christian make Dani do psychedelic drugs (mushrooms i believe) to make her clear refusal to take them into something that not only affects christian but also his friends and everyone around them is almost scary in its hilariously methodical toxicity. This leads to dani having a panic attack and from there the hits just keep on coming. Dani then has to watch as two cultist commit ritual suicide. This traumatic incident further escalated when one jumped off the mountain on his leg and needed to have his head crushed by cult members till it turns to meat and dust. To make a long three hour story with icelandic pacing short lets race to the finish line:

Christian begins to be pursued by a cult member named maja. Dani still reeling from seeing two people commit suicide has her worries invalidated by christian and all of his anthropologist bros. The anthropology bro argues about who deserves to break basically every rule of basic anthropology as they try to see who gets PAID for perverting a culture they were invited to study not disturb. Christian eats one of majas pubes. After pissing on a ceremonial tree for the dead, and taking photos of the forbidden religious text (written by an inbred autistic oracle boy) our two american secondary characters are chopped off. Dani and christian are the final outsiders left standing. Dani joins a dance competition (yes really) and becomes this year's may queen. forever to be immortalized in the annals of white female faces shown in portraits plastered in the sleeping quarters of this matriarchal cult commune. Christian is then raped as we discover how all the bodies of our other character are disposed of. Dani, inebriated and vulnerable, discovers christian being raped by the cult and forced to sleep with the 16 year old maja. Disgusted dani vomits and syncs her cries of pain with the cult sister and finally has her trauma validated. She is given the choice to then murder christian as hes trapped in a paralyzed state. Dani decides to burn christian alive in the body of a bear, finally defeating and overcoming her emotional abuser. Dani smiles as the cult writhes in pain from the death of the cult members burning alive with christian.Dani is happy. She has family. She is home.

So lets (finally) talk about maja

“Look at it from an academic perspective it would provide a unique glimpse into our sexual rights.”

“Can i not have a unique glimpse without participating?”

This is a conversation that is awkwardly cut from the theatrical version of midsommar. Christian is being offered to have sex with maja. Maja is a sixteen year old girl. The closest aster ever comes to revealing this fact is offhandedly mentioning maja having her first period. Christian refuses sex and is raped by maja, and the cult while a fourteen year old disabled child watches. There's a lot wrong with this scene. I’ll be honest for personal reasons I was really disgusted by this scene. I feel like im projecting but rape and pedophellia are really delicate topics and should be treated sensitivity. Ive seen alot of extreme very difficult horror films, i've seen rape, pedophillia, and violence explored in meaningful interesting and empathetic ways even ari asters own work like “meet the johnsons”. But watching maja rape christian with what i would assume are her older siblings, aunts, grandmothers, mother and other cult members as a 14 year old boy watches just made me feel fucking dirty. The weird part: it isn't horrific. While cristian was being raped, the audience I was watching it with were laughing. It wasn't scary. it was funny. It's a cognitive dissonance. The audience isn't aware of christians being raped or majas age. Most people assume he's cheating and deserves to be burned alive by dani. Making christian the bad guy of his own a rape is horrific but i shouldn’t need to hunt down that information and watch the film three times to understand that. It makes the movie feel as if its really bad at relaying basic information, at worst it's dishonestly hiding it to make the film more palatable. After putting all the pieces together I was disgusted. Ari aster crossed a line. I felt queasy and never wanted to see this film ever again. The fact ari aster could have made maja of age, or take the disabled 14 year old out the scene entirely, or not have had christian be raped in the first place while reaching a more understandable and tragic ending annoys me to know end, it feel like i watched these characters be used and mistreated for no reason. Just to shock me. It lacks value, it’s  gross and uninteresting. much like christian and everyone involved i feel violated and it's really hard for me to enjoy watching what is an otherwise (although flawed) very interesting and compelling work or art. I’m  still morbidly curious of the next film ari aster makes but i really hope he learns for this mistake and doesn't objectify children in another weird fetishistic male rape comedy routine. It just leaves me confused, disgusted and only makes it more challenging to analyze the more interesting implications of the film. I really appreciated hereditary as someone who has a very emotionally abusive family and has a very hard time processing death. I found hereditary horrific as it is cathartic. As someone who had to quite recently confront a pedophile, midsommar just left me hurt, and trapped. I was reliving some of the worst parts of my trauma as an audience sits around and laughs at it. It all felt so tragic and meaningless. I want to actually give ari asters work an honest critique but he's produced the only work of film that really hurt me and left me feeling violated. I really love his work and I know I'm exaggerating but I hope art never has such a negative effect on my mental health or anyone else’s ever again. I don't blame Maja or christian or the actor who portrayed them. I respect their performances although I have zero respect for how utterly tasteless midsommar ended up being for me. I think I need to learn how not to take art so seriously and try not to invest myself in other people's work. It's a difficult habit to kick. Needless to say, I cannot recommend this movie. If you're able to separate art from the artist and read this whole review without watching the film you're not a bad person for watching it, midsommar is a compelling, difficult experience.

I hope you enjoyed this review and I'm sorry if it got wayyy too personal in the end there. The movie clearly struck a raw nerve for me. if you enjoy this or any review  i've dones let me know. I may reveiw hereditary in the future.if your also having issues with death, rape, abuse or mental health i hope this review didnt make it worse. Everyone is deserving of love, family, community and I hope everyone can find that. Have a good day, and have a safe quarantine.   

[excusemysaltiness]

Haven || Loki x Reader

Chapter 1: Unleashed

Summary: The Avengers successfully secure a Hydra base but all goes wrong when its deadly prisoner escapes. Having been imprisoned for many decades, Y/N does her best to evade her pursuers. But despite her efforts, the same god of mischief continues to find her.

Chapter 2

The sun disappears bit by bit as darkened clouds set upon the ominous Hydra base. A mighty storm brews within the shadows and expands quickly, shrouding the land below in darkness. A chain of lightning strikes the Hydra base, bombarding it with barrages of electrical currents. The assault ensues until the sites security systems are disabled by the power surge.

"Good job, Thor." Comments Steve over the comms. He nods at the pilot, Natasha, indicating for her to land the Quinjet whilst the rest of the team fit their uniforms and ready their weapons. The soldier turns from the cockpit and inspects the cabin. Everyone's prepared for the battle ahead. All except for one person: the god of mischief. Steve approaches Loki and maintains his stern demeanour, unscathed by the gods piercing glares. He glances at his left hand, watching it carefully as it twirls an intricate dagger, before meeting his icy gaze.

"Get ready before we land."

In one swift motion, Loki fixes his grip on the handle of his dagger and points its blade at the soldier's chest.

"You think you can command me, mortal?" He seethes sharply. The tip of the blade inches closer towards Steve but stops when Loki registers the sound of guns cocking. He turns to see Natasha and Sam with their handguns aimed at him and glares at them before removing his dagger from Steves' chest.

"I am only assisting you in your campaign because of my brother," He says. "None of you is to command me and if any of you are to be in need of aid in the midst of the battle do not expect me to be your rescue."

The Quinjet, set on auto-pilot, lands itself in the forest aside the base and the rear door lowers. The team quickly filters out of the aircraft and Loki follows a few metres behind them. The irritated god looks up to the darkened sky to see his brother and Stark fly past and engage in combat with some Hydra operatives ahead. There are hundreds of them. Enough to help me alleviate my anger. Before they enter the clearing, Loki's attire shimmers and his Asgardian armour promptly replaces it. He summons two daggers, one held in each hand, and rushes forward towards an unsuspecting enemy. The unfortunate soldiers' screams fall on death ears and Loki continues to prey on the Hydra agents one after the other, leaving a trail of mutilated bodies in his wake. The battle prolongs for a great amount of time and eventually, the Avengers emerge victoriously. While Stark and Vision work away at downloading files from the facility's main computer system, the rest of the team explore the many floors of the desolated base. The top five levels hold nothing of interest to them, withholding only an armoury, training centre and barracks. The team sweeps through the halls, quickly snuffing out any stray Hydra soldiers, before making their way back to the elevator. They finally reach the basement floor and are startled by what the elevator doors reveal. The dark entry hallway is littered with deceased Hydra operatives.

"Keep an eye out guys," Warns Tony over the comms. "Whatever they were holding in the containment cells down there got out during the blackout."

"Do you know what they are?" Asks Natasha as she steps over a tattered body.

"A bunch of experiments gone wrong."

Stark and Vision scroll to the bottom of the folder and open up the last file.

"And a prisoner." Adds Vision.

Steve holds up a fisted hand and the team comes to a halt. Running footsteps echo from ahead accompanied by ragged pants and whimpers. The sound becomes louder until eventually, they spot the source: a snivelling Hydra operative. His left arm is missing, exposing a bloodied shoulder joint, and his right foot is twisted backwards, dragging along the floor. His injuries are very similar to ones that the corpses bear and the team fears that he might endure the same fate.

The dishevelled man looks up to the Avengers with fearful eyes. "Rennt!" He cries out. "Close the elevator or else she'll escape!"

Acting on instinct, Wanda hurries back to the panel aside the elevator doors and Thor rushes forward towards the Hydra agent. He reaches out his hand to the wounded soldier and goes to move under his right arm to offer him support. All seems well for a few seconds when suddenly the man is wrenched from the thunder gods' grip. A humanoid figure drags him back into the shadows and his blood-curdling scream is ended by a sickening snap. They hear his body fall to the floor with a thud and immediately aim their weapons ahead.

Thor holds up his hammer threateningly and calls out to the creature hiding in the darkness. "Show yourself!" His voice booms.

The Avengers maintain their positions, weapons armed and readied, but ultimately, nothing happens. After a while, the eerie silence is finally lifted and replaced by the sound of scraping metal. Followed by a door becoming unhinged.

"Shit," Curses Tony over the comms. "It's going through the emergency exit!"

"Which way's the exit?"

"Don't bother, it's already reached the surface!" He responds before flipping on his helmet.

While Stark and Vision attempt to capture the escapee, the rest of the team backtrack to the elevator and make their way to the ground floor. But by the time they get outside of the base they discover that the prisoner has already escaped. Steve and Natasha rush to Tony's side and assess his damaged armour and, more importantly, the deep gash along his right arm.

"Don't worry," Pants Stark, wincing as Natasha wraps up his arm. "Gabriel won't get far with her injured wing."

Sam lets out a short chuckle and the others shake their heads annoyedly. "You really gotta stop with your nicknames, man."

"Good Morning America, 'Evil Sweeps Over Idaho', over the night multiple residents of Canyon County, Idaho reported a winged woman flying over their homes and stealing food from wherever she could. One man suffered injuries to his face as he defended his shop from the female while another claims that he was lifted into the air before being dropped 12 feet off of the ground. Both the Nampa and Caldwell Police Department responded to the distressed calls and were able to confirm that the strange sightings were, in fact, true. Efforts were made to capture the person of interest but unfortunately, they were unable to apprehend her. No one knows where the creature came from but the local Nampa Church of Christ believes that the individual is a fallen angel expelled from heaven."

Loki rolls his eyes at the mention of the Midgardian religion and resumes reading his book whilst the rest of the Avengers' eyes are glued to the flat screen television.

"The local Police Department's have warned Canyon County residents to remain indoors until the woman is captured. The US army has begun searching the Morley Nelson Snake River Birds of Prey National Conservation Area where the individual is said to be hiding and hope that she doesn't set off and attack any more civilians."

The television screen switches off and the teams focus shifts to Nick Fury. He stands at the end of the briefing room table and pulls up a file on the holographic projector. Loki discards his book on his lap and inspects the image accompanying the lines of text. He finds himself weirdly entranced by the h/c haired woman and feels a pang of guilt when he examines her eyes. Though it is a stilled image, he can see the pain and sadness layered deep within her e/c eyes. Her years of imprisonment have changed her greatly. After what feels like hours of staring at the headshot, Loki finally reads the document. But he finds himself mulling over the first line of text over and over.

"Y/N." He says to himself quietly.

What a beautiful name.

Rennt: ‘Run’ in German (Thank you @softassbithc )

By the way, I’m Australian so I’m sorry if I got anything wrong (Specifically the GMA report)

Thanks for reading! Feedback would be much appreciated! :))

[mintgator]

Beta Readers Wanted

I don’t know how well this will go over here, but I’m seeking beta readers for my recently completed novel. If you’re not interested in beta reading, a signal boost is always greatly appreciated. Now, here’s some info about the book.

Title: NIGHTBURNERS (tentative)

Age category: Young Adult (ages 14+ should be fine)

Genre: Dark Urban Fantasy

*Subgenres: Political, Romance, Magic, Revenge, Friendship, Family, Crime

*I was careful to keep a balance of these that are not overbearing. I don’t get too detailed with the politics or military stuff.

Short summary: When an assassin tries to kill her at school, 16-yr-old Cel publicly reveals her illegal, will-bending magic in self-defense. Now, she must tread carefully to keep her father’s criminal organization from being exposed.

Long summary aka my working query (contains MAJOR spoilers!):

Not everyone wants a soulmate. 16-year-old Cel finds out the hard way when one of hers turns out to be an assassin hired to kill her. Forced to use her illegal, mind-controlling magic to subdue him in front of her peers, she is then subjected to intense public scrutiny. This wouldn’t be so bad if she wasn’t also the heir to a massive criminal organization.

Now saddled with a magic-limiter, a government-appointed babysitter (who’s another soulmate, go figure), and the disdain of her father’s criminal syndicate, Cel thinks things can’t get worse. Until they do.

On live television, her father is murdered by one of his closest allies. With the criminal syndicate at his back, this ally takes over the city, robbing Cel of both her family and her legacy.

Forced into hiding, she must weave a plan for retribution, but her friends are few and far between. If she wants her life back, she’s going to have to win the trust of her two new soulmates—both who’ve worked for her enemies—and figure out just how far she’s willing to go to get revenge.

Some Fun Facts:

Contains LGBTQA+ characters, a disabled character (hoping to add more disabled characters in future books!), racially diverse characters. The main character (female) is asexual, contains 80s-90s tech with some limitations (ie - no guns, phones are landlines, etc.), contains Soulmates and soul-identifying marks (but the connections between characters are not all romantic), does not take place IRL--it is a fantasy city/world

Length: ~80,000 words

Content Warnings: some swearing, mild violence, allusions to child abuse (in a very, very vague context), allusions to sex (also vague), & morally gray characters (I do mean this. My main character is not super obviously cruel, but she’s definitely not nice)

Draft Quality; this is draft 1, with only some vague editing done on certain chapters, which means it is a bit messy and not yet perfected. expect inconsistencies and not quite perfect grammar/spelling/etc. But I am pretty meticulous, so it’s nothing terrible. (please don’t judge me by how poorly i’m writing this post lol)

Comps: Think This Savage Song (in terms of setting/writing style) meets ATLA (in terms of characterization and magic)

Beta Reader Obligations:

I need betas to read the story in google docs within a time frame of approximately 2 weeks. If you do not read any of it within 1 week, I will remove your access from the document. If you stop and decide you don’t want to read anymore, just let me know. You won’t hurt my feelings. My work is not for everyone.

You will be able to comment; feel free to do so as much as you please (ie - react, suggest, complain, w/e you want!) but keep in mind that (at this stage) I know the writing is NOT pristine. It definitely contains inconsistencies and grammatical mistakes. I’ll have to rake through it for those soon, but betas pointing them out would be a big help! You will have to provide an email address so I can invite you to the document. You will NOT have to share a document with other beta readers. You are not to share the document with anyone else or attempt to plagiarize or copy it in any way. I will provide a questionnaire for you to fill out within the same document as the manuscript itself.

This draft has not been sensitivity read, so feedback on that matter is always appreciated. I am open-minded, but I make mistakes. I won’t be upset if you point them out to me. In fact, I encourage it.

Please note that I might NOT respond to any of your comments within the document. In fact, I’ll probably only respond to a few. I appreciate all the feedback, but sometimes I have to compare reactions across a spectrum of betas to get a good idea of what I need to do w/the part in question.

I am from the USA, so my writing typically follows the spelling and rules of American English. Please keep this in mind.

If interested, follow these steps:

Message me with your email address and whatever name you’d like to go by in our conversations. Also, specify that you agree not to copy/steal/plagiarize the manuscript/document in any way/shape/form.

If you’d like a sample of my first-draft writing ability, check out my AO3 account. Maybe you’ll find something there that tickles your fancy.

A final note:

In case you’re wondering, the character in these artworks is the main character of this story. I’m also an artist. YAY. :) Anyway, thank you so much to everyone who beta reads or reblogs or shows even a passing interest in this. Writing is hard work, but beta readers are invaluable, and I’ll appreciate all the help I can get.

*This post will be eventually be deleted.

[drumpfwatch]

State of the Union 2019 Commentary

It’s been a week and some change. Let’s talk State of the Union.

First off, I’d like to make a comment on the overall speech theme. Trump spoke of unity and everyone coming together, but that very morning he went to yell at how obstructionist and obnoxious the Democrats were being for not giving him his baby bottle wall. This man, who speaks of himself as the best deal maker in the world, and bragged he’d be able to get everyone to get together and make friends, sort out their differences, when he has done nothing but make demand after demand and concede no ground.

A compromise, Mr. Trump, is two people coming together and agreeing on something they’re both willing to do while conceding parts of what they want. It’s called a surrender if someone gives you everything they want while getting nothing. Dummkopf.

So with that, let’s begin at the beginning. I warn you right now I don’t want to go over every single point he made, but I’ll cover as many of them as I can and comment as needed. There are other commentaries out there, some as soon as the day after, and those are more than cool to have hanging around. I’m sure between all of those you can come up with a total summary of what he said, based on every single word. With that, let’s begin.

As per his theme, he started the speech by calling for unity and cooperation. All well and good for anyone else. We should avoid revenge politics - which is fucking rich coming from him, but whatever. Specifically, he calls congress to concern themselves “with the agenda of the American people” but…

Well, we’ll get to that.

He thanks some WW2 vets and then talks about how he’s interested in “America First.” People have on more than one occasion pointed out that given his actions, he seems to mean “America Only” when he says that, and that should be a premise that is upsetting to everyone but I have no doubt there is a large portion of the population of the American population who are more than happy to ignore the rest of the world. They already do, after all.

He then introduces Buzz Aldrin, saying that we’ll be going to space on American rockets again. And he’s actually, sadly, right there. Back in 2011, the Space Shuttle program was retired, and we’ve been relying on the Russian Soyuz capsule to get us into the space ever since. The successor to the Space Shuttle Program, the Space Launch System, has been slow coming for numerous reasons. It is, however, finally going to be ready to go in 2019 and will perform its first mission in 2020 - sending a craft to Mars. They wanted a rocket that could get a crew to Mars eventually, and the Senate…

Well, let’s just say congress stuck it’s fingers into the Space Launch System so much that it has been derisively called the Senate Launch System, and a lot of astronauts and NASA Engineers are concerned that it is basically a horrible, efficient money sink. Still, as an avid space fanatic, I’m glad we’re making efforts, at least. Though I’d point out that those efforts have been in motion long before he ever got there to direct them. This is, after all, the man that believed we could go to Mars before his first term was out.

He next goes on to talk about the economy, claiming that our middle class is bigger and more prosperous than ever before. This is untrue. While it seems to be complicated, the general consensus is that while the Middle Class has been stable in size, they tend to have less and less, especially in comparison to the upper class. That is where the real problem is, as well. The absolutely ridiculous wealth disparity. Though I get the feeling that removing taxes from private jets is totally gonna help with that. She says, sarcasm frothing in her mouth in a mixture of rage and bitterness.

He then claimed responsibility for the parts of the economic boom that have been happening. First of all, the economy is...not exactly booming. But there are good things happening in it. It’s sort of a whirlygig of insanity, if I’m honest. Now, you’ll hear me say this again a few other times, but I am not all that educated when it comes to economics. Economics is a chaos system and I much prefer stable ones with easy to predict results. Is a thing right or wrong, is this method an effective way of accomplishing the intended goal. Things like that.

That said, I do know a few things, and one of them is that a lot of people who do know a thing or two about economics point out that this economic boom began in 2016, which means it's entirely possible that this is a result of Obama’s policies were responsible, we don’t really know. Maybe Trump did have something to do with it, but it’s often not accurate to blame the problems or successes of an economy on a single thing. So this claim gets a big ol’ stamp of “UNVERIFIABLE” from me.

I can say that wages are not rising, or at least as much as he thinks. The Federal Minimum Wage was not changed since 2009, and lost about 9.6% of its purchasing power because of inflation. While some states have made major strides towards livable minimum wages have been made in places like New York and California, I’d be willing to bet dollars to donuts that if you removed the massive amount of wealth that people like Jeff Bezos make, you’d find that they are stagnant, or even lowering.

There’s a thought for a math rant sometime.

Anyway, he then praises the 5 million people who got off of food stamps. First of all, the number is 3.5 million. Second of all, it’s a bit more complicated than that. To summarize, while the decrease in unemployment is helping, there’s another little niggling thing. There was a provision in the law that basically said you could turn off some of the safety nets if employment rates rose, and a lot of states decided not to pay for those benefits. I won’t argue whether or not that was a right or wrong decision, but I will say you don’t get to wave around the number of people who are off a program as a victory when the reason they’re off it isn’t because they don’t need it, but because they were kicked off it.

We’re the hottest economy in the world, he says! And he’s wrong. I mentioned before that we’re in a weird sort of “Good Things, Bad Things” phase, but I don’t think I need to tell anyone that the stock market has been all over the place, falling and rising considerably at random. Meanwhile, S&P has downgraded America’s credit score. I think we’ve got a problem, and I know we’re not the hottest economy.

He then goes onto say that the unemployment rate for people of color is the lowest it’s ever been. And shockingly, he’s right on this one. Sort of. The Federal Bureau of Labor Statistics shows that the rate of unemployment for hispanic people and black people actually went down, and was at one point the lowest it’s ever been. Asian unemployment has sorta been all over the place. What makes it strange, however, is that each of these groups had a random and sudden spike since November/December of last year, while for whites it’s been pretty stagnant. Last hired, first fired, I guess.

He also talks about the same with disabled people and that is blatantly untrue. While it seems the number of people who qualify for disability also is going up, they’re not getting employed any faster.

I should also mention that even if we could point to one specific thing as responsible for these changes, I doubt it would be the fault of the man who himself wouldn’t house or hire black people.

He also celebrated getting rid of the estate tax. Which yes, he did. That is not necessarily a good thing. He acts like it applies to small businesses and farmers, but it doesn’t. One person said on the matter “If you don’t feel comfortable calling what you own an estate, then you probably aren’t affected by the estate tax.” You and your guilded crotch spawn and protected up to 10 million dollars. Only after that is your wealthy taxed on death, and only to prevent the the existence of a permanent landed gentry. The only people benefiting from the end of the estate tax are literal millionaires, who can afford to give some of that dosh to the community.

He then talks about Obamacare, and how he get rid of the Individual Mandate. He claims this was the most unpopular part of the law, and he’s right, but analysts point out that it’s more complicated then Thing Bad So Get Rid Of. Without the Individual Mandate to get people motivated to apply for coverage, a lot of people simply won’t get insured. Further, the whole point was that forcing the younger people to pay for insurance when they’re less likely to need it helped to add money to the pool that could be used to help cover the people with pre-existing conditions or complications. That said, it’s also a good thing not having people pay for coverage they can’t afford, so...it’s complicated.

Trump then bragged about cutting the most regulations of any President ever, and I won’t deny that he has. I will, however, point out that this is a horrible thing that should concern and frighten all of you. While some of those regulations may seem arbitrary, literally every one of them was written in the blood of some innocent person who died so a corporation could make an extra buck. We’ve already seen an increase in food poisoning and infections and the increase in food recalls since 2013 has been kind of horrifying. Trump has been eagerly cutting regulations to “Pre-1960s” levels. You know, before we had seatbelts. It’s very harmful to cut those regulations, and it needs to stop.

He then says that America has corporations coming back in record numbers. On this, he is also not wrong. The Jobs report was very good, and we should all be happy about that. That said, whether or not he is the one to thank for that is a bit more complicated, as usual. It turns out that some of these gears were set into motion when Obama was in office. Some of them are just the effects of a slow recovery process since the 2009 Recession. That said, they did take a sharp rise in 2017. So yay for him, I guess.

Except, again, if deregulation is how you’re doing this, then you’re doing it wrong. We should not be sacrificing the blood of American people so that a few already stupid wealthy people can get even more stupid wealthy. The reward is not worth the cost.

He then goes on about how we’re the number one producer of oil in the world. This claim is untrue. There has, however, been a boom in oil and natural gas production due to things like the invention of fracking and loosening of regulations that goes all the way back to the Bush Era. The rate is increasing such that by sometime into the 2020s, we will be the greatest producer of oil and natural gas, at least privately. Considering those materials are murdering our planet this is also not good news, but since Global Warming is, of course, a conspiracy cooked up by the Chinese to steal American Jobs, that doesn’t matter. We are also not a net exporter of energy, by the way, but are on are way to becoming one.

Then things get...weird. Everyone starts chanting “U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!” in this really low and creepy tone that I was frankly a bit creeped out by. It was like these people thought they were at a football game and not a session of Congress. Then again, this is my first time really sitting down and paying attention to the State of the Union, so this may be normal. I just didn’t like it.

What should, however, terrify everyone is his next babbling remark. He spends five minutes or so going on a rant about how “If there is going to be peace in legislation, there cannot be war and investigation.” Which, frankly, reminded me of a mafia frontman. “Lovely country you got here, shame if somethin’ were to happen to it. You noisy folks stink’ yah nose into my bosses business makes it real hard for him to keep wild guys like Big Jim ova deya under control. I can’t promise you won’t upset him wid all this.”

Sorry, trumby. You don’t get to talk about the need to stop our adversaries when you may well have been put in office by one.

Ughk, I hate using that word. Adversaries. It makes it sound like we have a boat load of enemies, when in reality we have like, 3 or 4, and otherwise a series of complex political relationships. Like we can’t work together with those people for a better future if we all just calmed the fuck down.

Like they’re not people.

Whatever. There are more important things to worry about.

Like how he goes on to mock the democrats for not approving his nominations. Even though a whole boatload of them are sketchy as fuck, should have never even been approved at all, or were just never filled by Trump in the first place.

Also can I just say that it’s fucking rich hearing aa man like Trump complain about not getting a nominee approved after what his party pulled with the Supreme Court? We call that hypocrisy.

He then goes on to talk about making life easier for prisoners and punishing people who abuse our veterans. Now, I could point out that prison reform was actually Barack Obama’s whole big thing and he passed a lot of laws in that regard, and Trump has not, and Former President Obama also passed VA reform in 2014 that allowed for people who mistreated veterans to be harshly punished. That said, Trump has been making further strides on those initiatives, and in fact his most approved and liked legislation is the First Step Act. These are the sorts of policies that really can make life better for people, and it’s nice to see everyone getting behind them. Ofcoursewecouldfurtherthesegreatstridesbyclosingdownforprofitprisons, andotherthingsthatimcertaindontappealtoarepublicanmindset, but that’s for another day. What I’m saying here is that as much as I don’t like it, I have to admit Trump has done a good. I don’t care who past them, how they developed, they were good things that happened. Yay! Good job Trump, you get a big shiny gold star.

We then move on to the Racist section of the speech. He starts by talking about the Migrant Caravan and I am shocked at how wrong and full of hatred this man is. He claims these refugees are an “onslaught” of illegal aliens when they’re all coming to America to seek asylum. You know, something that’s completely and totally legal. But no, this is an INVADING FORCE of ILLEGAL ALIENS that need to be stopped with 3,750 more Soldiers with GUNS. They managed to make it all the way to the American border with only one small kerfuffle with the Mexican border police, before arriving at the American border not to see Lady Liberty’s open arms welcoming the hopeless and downtrodden, the weary and poor, but instead heavily armed and barricaded troops who would then go on to use tear gas on them. Is that the America we want to show to the world?

Now, to his credit, Trump admits that Immigrants enrich our society - which is entirely true. Yes, there’s a bit of stress on lower-wage jobs when they first arrive, but that’s minimal in comparison to the benefits. Not that saying that to someone who got laid off and replaced with a migrant is no consolation, I fully understand, but there are ways to help these problems. Also, side note, if he believes immigrants are so awesome and enriching to our society, then he would be more than happy to have them enter the country. But the immigration system here is a convoluted mess of insanity that takes forever to get anything done and then occasionally does nothing, and Trump has just been making it worse. Just a thought.

Now I wrote an entire post about the wall, so I won’t go into it too much here. But the wall is an expensive, stupid, and ineffective idea. Drugs aren’t coming through skirmishers who are dodging around the border, they’re coming through ports of entry. The San Diego wall he was talking about isn’t nearly as effective as he pretends, and it didn’t really start working until the entry port in that area was spruced up. Smuggler still break through it all the time, as well, to the point where an area of it is called “Smuggler’s Gulch.” It also has trapped migrants into paying more to cross to the bad guys, taking riskier and more lethal routes, and actually trapping “illegal” migrants in who may want to leave. Most of the time, men would come up, do some work for cash, then go home once they felt they had enough, but now they’re coming, staying, and bringing their families.

Trump also points out that there were people in that room who voted for the wall, but I reckon the immense amount of insanity that came from that previous attempt are why a lot of people don’t want to do it again. Trump says that “No issue better illustrates the divide between America's working class and America's political class” but in truth, 60% of Americans are strongly opposed to the wall. The wall is a lost, stupid cause, and Trump needs to give it up before he hurts himself with his flailing about it.

OH, and just as one last cherry on the cake, it won’t stop sex trafficking either. Most traffickers bring there people in through on legal Visas, which they are then forced to overstay as those visas are held from them. In fact, over 80 anti-trafficking organizations got together to say that Trump's comments on the matter were actually harmful to efforts to stop this stuff.

He then goes on to tell the story of the Maddison family. I honestly don’t remember what it specifically was, because they are just a prop to garner sympathy for his position, and I’d actually be fine with that if the idiot didn’t use it to spread a lie. This family lost ones they love to MS13 members. That’s horrible and tragic and very sad, and I feel for them and wish it hadn’t happened. But acting like this is how every “illegal immigrant” operates is just a flat out lie. While the actual numbers are hard to tell, we know enough to say that if you strip away the illegal crime of coming here when not allowed, “illegal” immigrants commit 16% less crimes then the native-born population. Most of them are just people who want to escape an insane life and live the American Dream. But, see, they’re hispanic, so they can’t. You have to be white to be an American.

So with all of that said, let’s jump ahead to a cute moment where he talks about women taking 53% of the open jobs. Again, not his fault but go off I guess.

He then goes on to celebrate the women in Congress, of which there are more than ever before. Hurrah! I appreciate that little wink and nod, and in fact Donny, you get a gold star for this one too because this one is your fault.

By proxy.

Pretty much every one of those women ran for office because they hated you, your policies, and your stupid ugly face. They’re not there because they like you, they’re there because they want to stop you. So I think I’mma just take that shiny gold star away.

Next, he bounces back to talking about the economy, because Trump can’t focus on a single thing. Again, I won’t say much on this because economics is not my speciality, but people who DO know a thing or two about economics are pretty much in agreement that tariffs are a tool, and not a very good one. The analogy I like to use goes something like this. Imagine tariffs as a double edged knife you’re going to use to stab someone you don’t like. You’re already dealing with a weapon that’s not the safest, but guess what? This one also doesn't have a hilt, or a guard, or a pommel or anything. It’s literally just a long, serrated sheet of iron with a point on one end. So whenever you hit the other guy, you’re cutting yourself too. You can’t not.

Tariffs need to be used with the precision of a scalpel, and only if they’re determined to be the right tool for the job. And that’s without accounting for the unintended consequences like how rich people can probably find a way to avoid tariffs so they hurt the poorer people more, or you know, starting a trade war because the other people can just pass tariffs on you too?! And if any of you think this gigantic flatulating, tiny-handed orange with a racist stick coming out of its ass is capable of “precision” then I have a bridge I’d very much like to sell you.

He also goes on to talk about NAFTA again, and I’m gonna have to plead ignorance on this one. I don’t know if NAFTA is or is not a good deal, or if UMCA is a better one. I don’t know enough about economics and I don’t know enough about the laws themselves. I’m at least grateful the idiot didn’t cancel NAFTA before enstating UMCA, and those people who are smarter than me I keep talking about say that Mexico and Canada may not be in a mood to negotiate a new trade deal. So who knows. I’m not going to say much else on the matter.

So then we move on to infrastructure brieful. Trump talks about how it’s crumbling and needs repair, and he’s not wrong. The infrastructure report card for the US is, frankly, abysmal. But this begins a trend on a couple of topics.

He goes on to eagerly talk about how we need to improve health care, and lower drug prices! That we’re going to get rid of HIV in 10 years! That Childhood Cancer is going to be eradicated! Everyone gets paid family leave! All this wonderful pie-in-the-sky stuff that is super cool to hear him talk about, and I’d be totally behind him….

If he were actually doing anything on these matters. Trump talks a big game on these things, but hasn’t made any moves. Whenever he starts to, his business buddies step in and explain why they’re going to lose money and he stops.

So! He then moves on to talk about the legislation in New York that protects women’s rights to get an abortion anytime and how horrible it is that they’re murdering babies.

I think the response the white-clade congress women gave was the best.

I think the look on Angela Ocasio-Cortez’s face is the best, but the look on Angelia Ocasio-Cortez’s face and I think that’s Kathleen Rice giving the stink eye.

I don’t want to get into a debate about abortion, because that really is the best way to get everyone everywhere ever to hate you. I will say this, however. The law more or less only applies to pregnancies that would kill the mother or if the baby is already dead, and it wouldn’t matter if it didn’t.

Do you honestly think a person is going to go throw eight months of the most harrowing and obnoxious process the human body is capable of performing and then just suddenly decide “You know what? I don’t want this baby anymore.” If you’re that far along you either wanted the baby and were willing to suffer for it, or you never wanted the baby and were prevented from getting an abortion when it would’ve been kinder. The law isn’t about murdering babies, it's about letting women have control over themselves and their bodies. Acting like it’s some horrible evil that happened just makes you look dumb.

We then go onto nonsense about military bravado. Trump yammered about how he forced our allies to pay their fair share in NATO - which is honestly a kettle of fish I want to talk about in its own post, but suffice it to say it’s interesting everything he stresses and hates NATO for makes matters easier for Putin.

The real thing I want to talk about is the nuclear treaty he eventually meanders into like a toddler into a wall. Look, I’m not going to pretend that I understand the intricate diplomatics of nuclear negotiations, but even I know that YOU DO NOT ARBITRARILY CANCEL A TREATY THAT PREVENTS NUKES FROM BEING BUILT. You want an arms race?! This is how you get an arms race!

So what if Russia is “flaunting it” and ignoring it? I do not give one single solitary flying fuck. You negotiate a treaty that makes them suffer consequences - or better yet, stop not making them suffer the consequences they’re supposed to when they pull that shit - and you do it while the other treaty is still active. The last thing we need right now is a nuclear war and I don’t want to fucking hear that you’re taking Russia out of a treaty that at least somewhat contained them.

This man is going to get us all killed, I swear to Athena.

He then starts saying that “oh, the world would be in Nuclear war with South Korea if it weren’t for him, and he’s just wrong. I mean I know the nature of reality is such that there’s no real way to measure the tiny micro changes in the fabric of events that could lead to a given result, but I can say for damn sure that North Korea became more aggressive after Trump took office, and that their nuclear problem is largely for deterrent purposes because they are afraid of. Not that anyone should have nuclear weapons. Point is, this claim is bullshit, and I don’t need to source anything because it’s fantastical.

Next up is Venezuela, and his whole...spat against socialism. First of all, socialism is not responsible for the collapse of Venezuela because it wasn’t socialist. Those close to Maduro call his state a narco mafia government under the guise of socialism. It’s complicated - like everything else here is - but it can basically be summarized that instead of gathering material in the government and using it to support the people, it gave all that to big companies and then just kept taking and taking. Because that’s what unregulated big companies do. There was no market.

That said, even if Venezuela had been socialist in the truest sense, that doesn’t mean that socialist policies couldn’t work or shouldn’t be used. When applied properly (with a mix of capitalism, in my opinion), you can create a prosperous country that takes care of everyone by skimming off the top of those who have much and giving to those who have little. We’ve seen it work in different circumstances before, and even an entire country that made it work up until Stalin decided to take it over and twist its efficacy into bullshit.

He then talks a bit about Israel and Palestine, which is another basket of snakes I refuse to open other then to say that treating it as casually as he does is stupid. Israel and weird creepy end times Christians are the only people who actually don’t want a two-state solution. Sooo yeah.

Next, he speaks on how he’s done with the war against ISIS and that the troops are coming home, but fails to give a time frame and talks about not fighting an endless war - something I’d be more willing to believe if he wasn’t spewing money into the military like a sick man on laxatives does into the toilet. But whatever, I’m all for both of those things, so if he does them I’ll compliment him accordingly and apologize for not believing him.

The last thing I really want to talk about is how he brags about getting out of the Iran Nuclear Deal. That was actually working just fine and had finally squeezed Iran into cooperating and now they don’t have to while still giving them breathing room for their civilian population. But that is a complicated matter, that, again, is more difficult to ascertain than “Thing Good” or “Thing Bad.”

From there, the rest of the speech is just chest beating and bravado. Emotional appeals about how great America is and how free we are and blah blaah blaaah. I actually don’t have a problem with this - the swelling call to action at the end of the speech is a very effective tool and it’s not like I haven’t used emotional manipulation myself, even in this very article. But the point is that it’s not factual - it’s not meant to be criticized as a series of claims or even critiqued at all. It’s bravado, pure and simple. Trump is good at it, and he did a good job with it here.

Before I conclude though, I just want to quickly comment on one thing. Him derailing antisemitism is hilarious. You’re like 4 years too late on that bro.

Anyway, conclusions.

Most of the problems with this speech can be summed up with “It’s not that simple, idiot.” The world is a complicated place and Trump tried to simplify it. His ignorance to fully explain the complexities - or, as the case may be, even bother to understand them - has led him to misinform people live on TV. I’m not going to spend time talking about whether it was deliberate or not, I have long since given up and trying to determine where Trump’s evil ends and his stupid begins.  

I will say that I give him one or two points for doing the things right, but given how much else was disgusting and, frankly, hateful, it’s very much “even a broken clock is right twice a day” type thing. Trump’s state of the Union was a cavalcade of lies and misjudgements, interspaced with bravado and unnecessary calls to his god. This is a secular nation, people. I should not hear about God no less than 4 times in the most important speech the country makes.

Hopefully he’ll be out of office soon.

[diloading592]

Skyrim Gender Change Mod

If you play The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrimon the PC, then you already know of the massive number of NSFW (Not Safe for Work) game modifications that are present on various websites. The role-playing game, from developer Bethesda, is ripe for this type of change, though many people aren't exactly thrilled about it. However, there is another community out there that absolutely loves to make their game a bit more, ahem, realistic and busty.

Skyrim Gender Change Mod 1

Skyrim Gender Change Mod 1.7.10

Chmod 777

Skyrim Se Gender Bender

Skyrim Faction Codes

Skyrim Gender Change Mod 2

Most of these mods do work with Skyrim Remastered, so click away!

More than just owner of the massive sex mod community, LoversLab, his SexLabs mod is the paint and canvas that allows thousands of modders to bring their desires to life inside of Skyrim. What this mod fixes: - Health, Magicka and Stamina are saved even if you change race/gender. All skills are saved with racial bonuses added when changing race/gender. Becoming a Werewolf no longer removes you head (as it would if you used showracemenu).

FNIS Sexy Move (Link)

Beyond Skyrim: Bruma. Download Beyond Skyrim: Bruma Here. The massive Beyond Skyrim project seeks to add all the lands of Tamriel into the Skyrim experience. Instead of only being able to explore within the borders of the game's namesake nation, this gigantic work-in-progress will eventually add in Morrowind, Elswyr, Atmora, Iliac Bay, and many other locations across the continent. With this mod, I can play Skyrim with both German and English subtitles simultaneously. So tldr: A mod that can help you learn one of six languages (French, German, Italian, Spanish, Russian, Polish) by displaying the subtitles of your choosing together with the English ones. Keep crashing after changing gender - posted in Skyrim Mod Troubleshooting: I keep crashing after trying to change my gender. I can change race relatively fine, however the gender thing screws me up. Ive tried several things, like disabling all of the more recently added mods, anything that has to do with character creation so long as it is in my mod list. Ive tried the precache killer, as.

This is the mod that is available for anyone who is sick of seeing female NPCs move in a stiff manner. Now, after downloading this, the women in the world of Skyrim will flaunt their stuff and show off the goods a bit more. Hips will swing with this animation replacer.

Sweet and Sexy Lingerie Shop CBBE (Link)

When your character isn't wearing any armor, they need to wear something else, right? The new Lingerie Shop will give you over 40 pieces of lingerie that offer a very specific push up effect exactly where you'd expect on female character models. Character's with a bigger chest will have something a bit more noticeable up front.

TBBP Animation w/Butt Bounce (Link)

When playing in third-person the entire backside of the character is present and accounted for. With this new mod, the player can easily gain a little bounce in their bottom. The 'jiggling' butt should give you something to look at.

Lust Design - Sovngarde Steel Armor (Link)

Everyone knows the old joke: the less armor a female character is wearing within a role-playing game, the higher her defense. This mod keeps that simple principle by offering a very skimpy form of the steel armor within the game. Nothing will be left to the imagination here.

Dark Lilth Sexy Armor (Link)

Much like the Lust Design, this armor gets rid of almost everything that would actually protect someone, say a human being, and enables a larger chest, bigger thighs, and a bouncier booty to enjoy. The clothing is nearly falling off the player models.

Sexy Swimsuit and Bikinis (Link)

CBBE is one of the most popular modifications for the NSFW crowd in Skyrim. This particular mod suite offers new clothing to ensure your female NPC has an increased breast size and the pushup effect to make them look even bigger. Butts look bigger and better, too.

UNP Minidress Collection (Link)

For some, less is more, but for others, a scantily clad woman in a minidress is the epitome of sexy. The UNP collection offers a variety of styles to get your character looking sexier.

Seductress Serana (Link)

Even the creator acknowledges how purely sexual this Serana character appears to be. With 10 hair options, 5 eyes, 3 hair colors, and 4 body types, you can truly get anything you want from this particular mod. It will definitely be sexy.

Project Sekirei Sexy Japanese Clothes (Link)

There are millions of people out there who find the Japanese to be incredibly exotic and sexy. So, it makes sense this modification would appear on Nexus. These clothes are all styled after old-school Japanese dresses and lingerie, but they generally offer the same pushup modification we've seen before.

Sexy Mannequins (Link)

Perhaps living, breathing, moving NPCs are not your thing? Perhaps you'd prefer to play around with a sexy mannequin instead? These body types will allow you to connect various pieces of armor and leave them standing around your house in a creepy fashion.

Latex Corset (Link)

Steel armor is fine and all, but a latex corset just screams 'dragon-slayer'. This black corset is stylish, laced up the middle, and features matching stockings, too. It comes in more than just black, though, so choose any color to get your loins moving.

Sexy Loadscreens (Link)

The loading screens within Skyrim were already pretty great, but this mod makes them a little more enticing. With this variety of pack of sexy screens, you can check out scantily clad humans, elves, and more as you wait for the game to be ready.

Nude Females (Link)

Obviously, the biggest NSFW mod for Skyrim is one that removes the clothing of every single female character within the role-playing game. That is exactly what Nude Females does. These aren't dolls, though. The mod also adds what goes underneath the clothing, too.

Chainmail Bikini (Link)

Again, less is more. Apparently. This chainmail bikini covers the important parts with the thick, metallic fiber, but leaves the rest open to the world. There is very little left to the imagination here.

Hairless and Dirtless Nude Males (Link)

Of course, women NPCs aren't the only ones people want to look at within Skyrim. This particular mod ensures every single male NPC in the game removes their clothing and sheds the dirt that covers their body.

Sexy Robes (Link)

Skyrim Gender Change Mod 1

There are two main files to download here, and both of them are very NSFW. The nocturnal robes and archmage robes both show off enough of the female form to ensure everyone can get a peek underneath.

Female Cool Underwear (Link)

The general underwear option within Skyrim when the character is not wearing any form of armor looks rather like a diaper. This mod replaces that with something a little sexier. Imagine a bit of lace and soft cotton.

Lady of Death Set (Link)

When you want to look exquisite with a brand new set of apparel that is more revealing than anything else, then the Lady of Death set could be your best choice. The armor lacks the material one would think normal in protective clothing, leaving the chest wide open.

Sexy Apparel Replacer (Link)

This replaces almost every single clothing option within the game with something a bit different. You can choose what your character will wear - or will barely wear, for that matter. The armor shows off plenty of cleavage and thongs.

Smooth Male Body (Link)

Instead of having a rough male character, this mod gives every male NPC in the game the chance to have silky smooth skin. If you think the abs and chest of a warrior should shine and glisten, now they can.

Sporty Sexy Sweat (Link)

Being a warrior is tiring work, so it is completely normal to sweat more than normal. Now, with this modification, your character can sweat, allowing their body to glisten and appear sexier than normal.

Female Textures Renewal (Link)

When you want your female to actually look more realistically feminine, this is the mod you download. It improves the textures to 2K, enhancing almost every inch of the female body in Skyrim.

Caliente's Beautiful Body Edition (CBBE) (Link)

Of course, not a single NSFW mod would be possible without CBBE, which adds in the perfect foundation for NPC and character animations and looks. Almost every single mod is compatible, too, so you can enjoy the sleek, slender look of your characters with any armor.

Dimonized UNP Female Body (Link)

Skyrim Gender Change Mod 1.7.10

When you're looking for a petite, sexy figure for your character, then UNP is the mod to download. You can even choose from smaller or larger breast sizes. It is not realistic eye candy, and may not even by human-like, but it certainly looks good.

Temptress Race (Link)

The Temptress race will allow the player to select a custom race at the beginning of the game. It has a few pre-requisites to download, but those are easy enough to acquire. You can even have a Temptress as your companion.

Maids II: Deception (Link)

Upon downloading this mod, the player will be notified of a maid cleaning their player home. This maid, obviously being NSFW, can be dressed in a variety of skimpy clothing while she goes about her business. More maids can be unlocked over time.

Better Males (Link)

This is similar to the previous male body enhancement mod, but less well known. Better Males offers:

'Nudes for males. New meshes, feet and hands improved (Beast races supported). Skin cleaned and realistic (Hairy Options). Better and younger faces. Long and beautiful hairs for males.'

Blood and Gore Mods

Enhanced Blood (Link)

Chmod 777

When it comes to NSFW mods, not everything has to do with sex - though the vast majority does. EBT ensures Skyrim is a bloodier, messier game overall. When you slay an enemy, the spray of red fluid actually looks realistic now!

Skyrim Se Gender Bender

Deadly Mutilation (Link)

Skyrim Faction Codes

For everyone wanting to take the Enhanced Blood mod a step further, Deadly Mutilation will allow the removal of body parts from NPCs during combat. Feel like chopping off an arm or head? Well, not you can do just that.

Killable/Lootable Children (Link)

By now, anyone who has played Skyrim for a lengthy period of time probably knows how annoying the small children within the game truly are. Thankfully, this game modification will allow you to cut down those pestering little brats and take whatever they have in their tiny pockets.

Skyrim Gender Change Mod 2

If you got a kick out of these mods, check out our other Skyrim mod lists.

[cjworthington]

The Spirit of Alola - Chapter 7

Warm Talks on a Stormy Night

The smell of rain drifts through the house, pushed by the wind through every crack around doors and windows. The storm began to rage just as we were climbing the stairs into the home, nearly pulling me off my feet, and it would have if it hadn't been for my neighbor's firm grasp on my arm. Unfortunately, I'm rather thin, so it doesn't take much force to knock me down.

"There's a chair right behind you, if you could sit down for me, please," Kukui says.

"Thank you," I answer, reaching my pained right palm out behind me to feel for the mentioned seat. "Do you have a phone I could use so I can call my wife?"

"Of course, one moment," I hear him walk away and the sound of a phone being removed from its stand.

"I'll just take this little guy," He says as I feel the sleeping Pyukumuku's weight being lifted from my left hand, and the phone is placed in its stead. I hear the small creature splash gently into a container of water nearby.

"Thank you," I say with a nod.

Running the fingertips of my uninjured hand over the numbers, I read the raised sequence of the Braille numbering system, a small prick of gratitude that this phone came with the feature. Then, using that, I dial my wife's cell phone. The line rings and rings, but she doesn't pick up.

"She must still be asleep," I decide hesitantly as I hand the phone back. "That's a little odd. What time is it?"

I hear a pause in movement. "Five-thirty in the evening." Kukui answers.

"Ah, so I must not have been out for as long as I thought."

"Being lost does tend to skew time." He replies knowingly.

"You're not wrong there!" I say with a laugh.

"Ok," the young man says, his voice growing closer now after opening a closet and shuffling the contents inside, from deeper within the house, "Let's get you fixed up quickly. Then we can escort you home. Do you need anything for your headache?"

"N-no," I stammer in surprise.

Is it that obvious? I question myself. I usually try to keep the constant pain in my head a secret from strangers, as the story behind it is rather long, complex, and embarrassing for me. I'll go so far as just to pretend that the usual slight throbbing doesn't even exist.

"Did you hit your head when you fell? A head injury is nothing to ignore." He continues, his voice now serious.

"No, no," I laugh, trying to diffuse any more questions. "No bumps on the old noggin overhear. Just a headache from this morning, that's all."

"Hmm. I'd still like to give it a quick check if you don't mind. It'd be pretty bad if I missed something like a concussion." Kukui says, sounding unconvinced.

I sit still for a moment as he parts my hair and pokes my head, asking the standard questions. Then, there's a click of a flashlight, a pause, a small chuckle, and I know my kind host has just tried to check the pupil dilation of a blind man.

"See anything interesting?" I joke.

We both laugh at the simple mistake. He finishes with my giving his hands a squeeze, then some other similar tests.

"All good there." He comments, sounding satisfied. I hear his feet head swiftly further into their home, a cupboard opens and closes, then his footsteps return.

"There's some headache medicine on the table if you change your mind." He says, the sound of a rattling bottle being place on the table preceding his words.

"We'll start with that cut on your hand." He continues, moving swiftly on. "Is that ok?"

"Yeah, that would be just fine, thank you," I answer.

I feel a rush of wind as the front door opens back up. Burnet's voice comes from the source, strained as she pushes the door closed.

"Boy, this storm surge is coming in fast and strong!" She says, sounding slightly out of breath.

"I've got all our things locked up and safe, and the shed has been secured. Did you guys need any help with your home?" She asks.

"No," I answer, wincing at the cold sting of Kukui's treatment of the deep cuts on my right palm.

"We only brought a few necessities with us when we came in this morning, so we don't have anything to put away yet!"

"Nya nya," Hop mewls. I hear soft paws walk over to the left of me and scratch at a closed door.

"Hop, don't do that. We are guests here!" I chide. "It's rude to snoop in people's homes."

"Come here, sweetie," Burnet says softly. "Our son Lei is in there sleeping. You can play with him later." The Delcatty ignores the call from Burnet, and I can hear the curious cat sniffing noisily at the crack under the door. "I wonder if it can smell him." She comments to us.

"Hop loves to explore and find new things, so I wouldn't be surprised if she could. She also hates closed doors but needs to learn to let it be when we are at someone else's home." I direct my last comment a little more loudly to the still pestering cat. She snorts irritably, but I then hear her pad quickly towards me.

"Nyaaa," She purrs, placing her head in my lap. I give her chin a scratch, where she presses her head into my stomach, unable to be mad at the affectionate little Pokèmon.

"I'm sorry if this sounds rude, but your Delcatty doesn't seem to be a very good sighted guide. Is it still in training?" Kukui asks, finally finishing my hand. He rolls my short sleeve up and gently presses the swollen gash on my shoulder.

"Hop is my wife's Pokémon," I say with a laugh, rubbing my freshly bandaged hand over the purple cat's head. "My PokèAssist is Tinsel, a Sylveon. She's still at home with my wife."

"Tinsel? What an interesting name. But then, why were you on the beach without a guide in a new place? You don't seem to have a cane with you, so-"Burnet says behind me, dropping her voice off to allow me a response.

Her voice is lower to the ground now, so I guess she must have quietly pulled a chair out from under the table and sat down, the noise of it having been washed out by the sound of the storm.

A pregnant pause stretches out between us as I sit with my head bowed and my neighbors wait patiently for an explanation.

"I don't use a cane very often, and I didn't mean to leave home with Hop, actually," I say, awkwardly twiddling my fingers together and shifting uncomfortably in my seat.

Being blind isn't really a difficult topic for me to talk about, but discussing an issue that arises due to my disability tends to be rather embarrassing. Still, these new neighbors were kind and caring, and I wasn't able to see a way to not tell them what happened without seeming rude.

I take a deep breath and continue, "I was only trying to find the benches outside my home so I could enjoy the new environment a bit. However, I couldn't find them and slipped down the rock wall instead, not realizing the fence was broken. Hop must have been worried, so when she saw me at the bottom of the wall, she followed me down, but she couldn't climb back up to get help."

"Well, that would explain your injuries," Burnet comments softly, her own embarrassment showing in her voice as she realizes why I've started fidgeting.

There's another pause as we all sit in silence, the sound of the storm pulling our thoughts to the outside world rather than the awkward environment inside.

"I have another question, though." I hear Kukui say, gathering everyone's attention, his own curiosity too strong to prevent his questioning. He had placed one of my feet onto a chair and was now spraying a cold and stinging medicine on the bottom of my foot after having gently cleaned it off with a warm liquid and soft rag.

"Aren't Psychic Type Pokèmon usually the top choice of PokèAssist for the blind? You said your's is a Sylveon, but that's a Fairy Type." The young man asks.

"You're correct. Psychic Pokèmon are uniquely equipped to helping the blind, but Tinsel chose her role." I answer this line of questions, finding it not awkward for me, as most people find the situation odd and quite interesting anyway.

"This sounds like a story," Kukui says, pausing in his work and encouraging me to continue as he gets the all-clear from my more confident tone.

"Yes! It is a rather good story," I say with a mischievous grin. "Would you like to hear it?" I ask temptingly, suppressing a laugh.

"Do you really have to ask?" He says with a chuckle.

"Alright, I'll start at the beginning."

"Sashi, that's my wife, and I were born just a few months apart in the same town. Our parents were friends, so we, of course, grew up together."

"So you two have known each other since birth? Oh, how sweet!" Burnet jumps in.

"Hun, hush. Let the man tell his story." Kukui chastises, though he sounded like he was chuckling a bit too.

I continue:

"Sashi has a twin sister, Anya. When they turned five, their parents got them both a Pokémon egg. Sadly, Anya dislikes Pokémon. A lot. She always has, and probably always will, so she refused to take it. Her parents knew she didn't like them, but they had hoped that Anya would grow to love Pokemon like Sashi does if she were to raise an egg with her sister.

"After Anya's very firm refusal, they decided to give the egg to me instead. My parents were delighted about the idea of me taking care of a Pokèmon egg, so they happily accepted.

"Even when we were young, Sashi and I were close, so us having eggs to take care of together only brought us closer. By then, we were inseparable. Wherever one of us went, so did the other. At times, even against our parent's wishes." I add with a chuckle. "That often got us in trouble, but my dad would comment that, "At least we always know where to find them."

"One day, Sashi's mom went to a craft store, and Sashi went with, so of course, I followed too. We had our eggs with us inside the store, Sashi holding her's in her arms and mine stowed safely inside a backpack. At one point, Sashi noticed the bag my egg was in had started glowing. Then her's started letting off a light a few seconds after that too. Now, you two should know well enough that a glowing egg means it's about to hatch, right?" I say, and my two new friends answer my question with a quick confirmation.

"And hatch they did. Two Eevees. And mine was so excited to meet me that it launched itself into my stomach and knocked me over into a stand. We sent everything in the stand and me, flying all over the store. After making sure I was ok, Sashi laughed about the tinsels and beads that had scattered all over the ground."

"So, that's where Tinsel's name comes from, isn't it?" Brunet interrupts happily.

"Yes, and Sashi named her Eevee, Bead."

"Aww, how cute!" Burnet cooed.

"Anyways," I continued with a smile. "After that, it was always Sashi, the two Eevees, and I. Then, a few years later, Tinsel evolved into a Sylveon.

"My dad knew that I wanted to be a Trainer when I turned eleven, so he started looking into getting a PokèAssist for me. He began by looking for a traditional Psychic Type, of course. About once a week, the PokèAssist facility trainers would give our family a new Pokèmon for a few days to see which one worked well for my needs.

"On the weekends, when I didn't have a temporary PokèAssist, and since I hated using a cane, Tinsel would take it upon herself to guide me, having watched my friends and family do so many times. My dad noticed this and talked to the coordinator about it, and they both decided to give Tinsel some training to see if this was a job she could handle. She passed their tests with flying colors, so they finished training her and gave her the vest," I finished.

"Well, that worked out pretty smoothly for you, didn't it," Kukui commented, having finished treating my injuries while I talked and was now sitting in a chair of his own in front of me.

"Yes. Like you two were meant-" But Burnet couldn't finish her sentence.

Just then, a booming clap of thunder shook the house and rattled the windows. I nearly fell out of my chair in fright if it weren't for Burnet grabbing one of my shoulders beside Kukui and me snatching onto my arm from across the table. Hop hissed defiantly at the sudden sound; her back arched against my leg, and her fur raised and stiffened.

We all sat in silence as the rain began, starting first as a small trickle quietly pattering against the roof, barely audible over the gale storm. Then a loud thudding rain, driven heavily against the shingles by the winds outside, started falling. The sound of a baby's cry suddenly added to the cacophony of noise.

"Oh, Lei," Burnet said worriedly. I heard her chair scoot when she stood, her bare feet thudding against the wood floor as she hurried away, then the sound of a door opening. The crying stopped, but the storm did not.

"He's awake now," Burnet said, her voice growing closer as she moved towards us with a sniffling child. "Kukui, could you grab a jar of food for Lei? It's about time for his dinner," She said.

"Of course," He answered.

"Kabir, I know you're probably eager to get back home, but with a storm like this, I don't think it would be wise for anyone to go traveling around in it, even if you are just up the road," Burnet said.

I sat for a few moments, listening to the world outside, with its strong winds, heavy rain, and sudden clashes of thunder, then said, "Yes. You're probably correct, but I wouldn't want to be a burden on you guys."

"A burden?" I hear Kukui say in surprise, his voice now near his wife. Then, I hear the sound of a metal lid being popped off the top of a glass jar. "How about some berries, big guy? Does that sound good?" He coos at his child.

Addressing me, he says. "You're a friend! And a fellow Professor! You could never be a burden." His words are kind and warm.

"Ok, but I'll need to try and call my wife again if you'd allow me to borrow your phone once more,"

"Yes, of course." I hear the phone being moved off the table near me, and Kukui sets it once more into my hand.

I dial Sashi's number, only to have it go straight to voicemail. I hang up and dial again. But of course, still voicemail. I leave a message.

"No answer then, huh?" Burnet asks.

"No, straight to voicemail. Her phone must have died. She mentioned in the last airport that there had been nowhere to charge her phone."

"Well, it's only been about forty-five minutes since the last time you called. She may be asleep still or just hasn't noticed her phone died." Kukui says.

"Yeah... you're probably right," I say hesitantly.

"I can run up to your house and check on her if you want." He offers kindly.

I sit for a moment and listen. The rain slams against the roof. Wind rattles against the glass of the windows. Thunder booms overhead and shakes the ground and house.

"No, it's not safe out there," I say finally. "I can't have you risking yourself. Sashi is a strong and clever young woman. She'll be ok on her own for a bit longer. Besides, she has all our Pokemon, so if anything happens, they can help her."

"Well, I'm getting hungry now, watching little Lei here eat. How about I make us some dinner," the young woman says. "Kukui, could you take Lei for me? He's just about finished eating."

"Oh yes, come here, big guy!" He says in a goofy voice. I hear Lei cooing happily through a mouthful of his mashed berries.

"Kabir," he says, addressing me, "Come with me. We are sitting in the kitchen right now, so I think we should move over to the couch to get out of my wife's way." I feel a hand on my arm guiding me out of my chair, deeper into the home, and into a more comfortable soft seat. I feel a jolt as he plops himself down next to me on the couch.

"Now," He says eagerly, "tell me about your studies."

[thecinephale]

Redefining Romance with The Shape of Water and On Body and Soul

By the time Katharine and I met in November of 2015 I didn’t care about romance. This word that had consumed me since I was a child no longer made any sense. My celibate adolescence was spent scribbling love poems and consuming movies like (500) Days of Summer, Beginners, and Annie Hall. But I’d since realized my poetry sucked and that Woody Allen’s body of work was nothing to admire. I was casually sleeping with a close friend and grappling with the absence of a core part of my identity. Ever since I was four and told my sister’s best friend I had a crush on her, liking girls and turning that like into a personal narrative was part of me. It was my way of being close to women and how I’d come to terms with what kind of man I could be. I wasn’t effeminate, I was sensitive. I wasn’t girly, I was romantic. 

And yet after years of crafting yarns from ordinary, or even non-existent, experiences, I was about to have my first truly cinematic meet-cute. Katharine and I met at Sleep No More during her very first performance. A friend of mine who worked there had been trying to get me to go for nearly a year and finally this night, for some reason, I caved. During the show I had four one-on-ones, immersive show lingo for private moments with performers, and I was more than satisfied with my experience. The show was just about over when I saw her, sitting on a suitcase at the end of an empty hall. Unsure if she was a performer or a tired audience member I slowly crept toward her. She stood up, took my hand, and we had a one-on-one. Later at the bar, my friend introduced us and we spent the rest of the night talking. A week later we were on a train together headed upstate.

This story is romantic in every way I could’ve hoped for as a teenager. And yet what I remember most from these weeks is the joy I felt getting to know Katharine. I was honestly a bit embarrassed having met her at Sleep No More since that place thrives off of people’s sometimes toxic fantasies. Especially because none of it felt that grand. I didn’t even think our first conversation could possibly be romantic until my friend asked me why I didn’t get her number. Our first date was upstate because she mentioned wanting to get out of the city before it got too cold and it seemed like a good idea. I didn’t know that she was the one. It was a date. I’d been on many first dates and planned to go on more. And while I did like her, I wasn’t obsessive. I liked her more on our second date than our first, and on our third date than our second, and today I’m more obsessed with her than I’ve ever been before.

There is a really simple explanation for this. Something about maturity and real, adult relationships. But this alone assumes that what I’d grown out of was romance, when in fact what I was really grappling with was male, heteronormative romance. I’d confronted the behaviors I’d copied for so long and realized they didn’t fit with who I was. But now what? A year and a half after Katharine and I met I came out to her and began transitioning.

***

It’s been a relief coming out, like I was holding my breath my entire life and can finally inhale and exhale like everyone else. So much of my life makes sense now in a way that it never did and I never thought it would. And one of the most rewarding aspects of my personal transition has been transitioning Katharine and I’s relationship as well, going from a seemingly heterosexual relationship to an openly lesbian one. There’s both liberation and emptiness in a relationship that is free from the vast majority of messaging received. Everything from fairy tales to Cosmo to the oeuvre of a known child molester has a lot less power when none of that stuff was ever meant to represent you. But there’s a reason why people enjoy that stuff. It feels good to be seen and it’s a relief to sink into fantasy. And while I’ve embraced the general umbrella by binge watching The L Word with Katharine and finally understanding my deep connection to Fun Home, Carol, and The Watermelon Woman, there’s still a searching for a love story like ours. A love story that feels outside of normalcy, that feels confusing and difficult and complicated yet ultimately just as fantastical and lovely. And it can’t just be solved by, say, a trans love story. I’d certainly welcome more of those (for now shout out to Sense8 and Her Story), but it’s deeper than that.

***

Guillermo Del Toro’s The Shape of Water is a ridiculous movie. That it’s currently the Oscar frontrunner is honestly astounding. Yes, it’s impeccably shot, designed, scored, written, and acted, but it’s also a movie that I’m at a loss to defend. On his podcast Keep It wonderful culture writer Ira Madison III was making fun of the movie and impersonated Octavia Spencer’s character with a simple “You fucking that fish?” I burst out laughing. Because it’s hilarious and because the scene in the movie isn’t actually that far off! 

For anyone who hasn’t seen it, the film is about a mute woman named Eliza (the always great Sally Hawkins) who works as a cleaner at a government facility during the Cold War. The US attains a creature simply called “Amphibian Man” and Eliza falls in love with him (them?). So it’s sort of like Beauty and the Beast if Beast never really spoke, there was explicit sex, and Belle had a black best friend and a gay neighbor. There’s also a subplot with some Russians. And a musical number.

It’s goofy as hell and yet I spent a large portion of the movie in tears. It reached its scaly arm down my throat and grabbed my heart. Any moment where the Amphibian Man was on screen I had a voice in my head that just kept repeating, “That’s me. That’s me.” Now I don’t know what it says about where I’m at in my transition that I have an easier time relating to a fish man than Jamie Clayton’s awesome trans hacker on Sense8, but alas it’s the truth. Because if I’m being honest, I usually don’t feel like I’m being perceived as a woman, I rarely even feel like I’m being perceived as trans, but I do feel like I’m being perceived as a creature.

Watching Eliza not only fall in love with Amphibian Man but be the instigator of the relationship felt revolutionary and comforting in equal measure. Returning to Beauty and the Beast (also King Kong, also everything like this), it’s usually the creature that kidnaps or captures the virginal lady and has to convince her to love him. This always feels a little gross and undercuts the message of acceptance. But here Eliza is a sexual woman. From the beginning it’s shown that masturbation is a part of her daily routine. She doesn’t fall for the Amphibian Man because of a repressed desire. She falls for the creature because she feels a connection. She wants to help them live a life of freedom alongside her. She wants to teach the Amphibian Man how to live in her world because it would bring her happiness. 

Katharine didn’t rescue me from a lab. But she has helped me escape… something. She has helped introduce me to a confusing world of feminine expectations and desires that feel comfortable and natural and also confusing and impossible. And above all else she has done this because she loves me. She isn’t still dating me because she’s a good person (no matter what other cis-es like to suggest). She’s still dating me because she sees me for who I am and loves me. I’m insecure about a lot of things, but I know this to be true and it means everything to me.

***

Ildikó Enyedi’s On Body and Soul, another Oscar nominee (a longshot in the Foreign Film category) has faced a similar reaction to Del Toro’s film. It won the Golden Bear at the Berlin Film Festival, yet almost every review even when positive points out the film’s silly weirdness. Also a love story, this time between two humans, Enyedi’s first film in 18 years is about a pair of employees at a slaughterhouse who realize that they’re somehow having the exact same dream about two deer. The people are Endre, the emotionally detached manager with a disabled left arm, and Mária, the new quality control inspector who is autistic and quickly becomes the butt of her coworkers’ jokes.

Again, I understand the reaction. The very concept of a love story at a slaughterhouse (featuring graphic scenes of slaughter) is already a stretch. Add the hokiness of nocturnal destiny, a subplot involving stolen bull Viagra, some deeply unpleasant narrative turns, and a formal approach as reserved as its leads, it’s unsurprising that many don’t know how to receive this film. It’s too open-hearted for the arthouse yet it’s not exactly fine-tuned for Nicholas Sparks. But for me, this film lived up to its title and infiltrated my body and soul, I connected deeply, and wept softly. And I’ve been unable to shake it, that initial feeling only growing since the first viewing.

There is an obvious contrast between the dream sequences with Endre and Mária as deer and the real life sequences of animals in cages having their guts torn out. It’s easy to read this simply as a statement between the purity of their love and the harshness of the rest of the world. But this ignores the unreality of the deer scenes and the specificity of animal imagery. Because a main thread through the film is that Mária and Endre don’t know how to be animals. Or in other words: Endre does not know how to be a man and Mária does not know how to be a woman.

The two male foils to Endre are his best friend, Jenö, and a new hire, Sanyi. Jenö is married and despite proselytizing the merits of keeping women in their place he does whatever his wife wants. Endre watches with the remove of a scientist as Jenö carries out a charade where he is able to assert his supposed masculinity while filling his more passive role. Sanyi, on the other hand, is naturally alpha, flirting with every female co-worker and ignoring his male superiors. Endre seems to pity Jenö and resent Sanyi, but it quickly becomes clear that who he has the most disgust for is himself. He grows wildly defensive when he is caught ogling a woman, insisting that he simply looked like all men would. The woman didn’t even seem to notice and doesn’t seem to care. He then declares multiple times later in the film that he would prefer to remove love and sex from his life rather than deal with the impossibility of filling the role of “man” in these encounters. He’s given up on it all until he meets Mária.

Mária also has two foils, Klára, a voluptuous psychologist who interviews everyone after the bull Viagra incident, and Zsóka, the oldest employee at the slaughterhouse. Klára is everything Mária is not. She’s comfortable in her body and comfortable around men. She expresses her feelings, sometimes even to the point of aggression. When Mária retells Endre’s dream, she is unable to push back against Klára’s anger or defend herself. Zsóka, who is even more comfortable with her sexuality than Klára, is much kinder to Mária. Instead of judging, she attempts to coach her in the ways of womanhood. This, of course, means posture, how to walk and talk, and, most importantly, what clothes to wear. Mária attempts to master these skills, like she does later with sex, with an obsessive precision.

Mária’s experience of gender is intrinsically tied to her autism. Her lack of awareness in how to act as a woman is similar to her struggle to generally fit in as a person. I’m hesitant to find symbolism in her character or draw parallels between our lives since her experience is so different from my own. But in my unqualified opinion the film treats Mária with a respect and fullness that leaves her as open to analysis and connection as any other character. It’s not autism that becomes ingrained in the semiotics of the film but rather the world around this one autistic character, the world around Mária. And I couldn’t help but feel parallels both to Endre’s attempts at manhood and Mária’s learning of womanhood. I couldn’t help but watch this relationship unfolding in a harsh world and think of my own. Mária and Endre’s budding romance faces plenty of conflict throughout the film but there’s an overwhelming feeling of destiny between them. The conflicts are not a result of their incongruity but rather the difficulties and pressures of their surroundings. Any conflicts within themselves are related to their individual difficulties with the world at large.

The dream sequences aren’t just beautiful and serene. They are otherworldly. Literally. The plane on which Mária and Endre connect is outside of real life. Their connection is dependent on both of them finding it within themselves to detach from their discomfort with society. In their dreams it is easy, but in life that’s really hard. Because it’s not healthy to completely detach (as fun as rainy days cuddling can be). The necessity is being able to carry on normal life with your partner and face a mutual unbelonging from our world. From our ableist world. From our gendered world. From our heteronormative world. From our transphobic world.

My connection to this film is reliant both on its silly romanticism and its severe honesty. Because that’s how I feel. Being with Katharine feels like it’s on another plane of being, in how I feel about her, in how happy it makes me to be near her, and yet real life can be really hard. This film shows the beauty in getting through that hardship with another person, the pressures it can place on a relationship, and the ultimate reward of working through it all together.

***

The Shape of Water and On Body and Soul have allowed me to articulate something about myself and my relationship that I’d previously failed to do. They taught me that romance, not just love but gooey-eyed, goofy capital R Romance, can be for all of us. That romantic doesn’t have to mean arrogant poems or chasing after girls in the rain. It can mean connecting with somebody when you feel less than human, it can mean facing a society that doesn’t want you with the help of another. And, most importantly, that this can all be silly and over-the-top in a way that will make half the audience laugh and half the audience cry. These films destroyed a line between romance and mature relationship that I’d taken as fact even though my own relationship is such an obvious combination of the two. They allowed me to see myself in a new way, to see Katharine in a new way, and to appreciate our relationship even more than I already did. 

So I’ll say it here. On social media, like an adolescent that will someday regret such an embarrassing overshare. I’m deeply, madly, overwhelmingly in love.

Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all.

[sister-location]

hi! i know you probably have a lot of asks right now, but i wanted to get some clarification on something. what exactly do we know about remnant? do we know anything except that it's what the scuper was designed for?

Yes and No!

The secret ‘insanity’ ending is the only time we ever see Remnant being mentioned. But we need to keep in mind that like with everything else in FNAF, being directly told about something is just meant to be a hint to look for context clues!

Longer post under the cut because there’s a lot to be said here and it’s image heavy because I just woke up!

edit: I realized partway through this that gameverse Afton might be injecting himself with whats essentially robo-ghost blood and it’s really fucking funny to me, sorry for obviously laughing about this for the entire post.

First up we see the SCUPer, A B C and D functions, and the Afton Robotics, LLC trademark. Let’s go over them!

NAME: S.caleable C.reation of U.lterior P.resence

Ok so you can see that either Afton or Scott are really weird with names, because this.. is honestly weird word choices, but they sure made it fit the ice cream theme. Rammed it right in there. But let me work these words down;T.his M.achine M.akey G.hosties. Call it Thingmmagig.

Scalable Creation refers to being able to generate more [ghosts] and likely also be able to remove (or relocate..?) [ghosts]. Ulterior Presence is.. actually a little funny, because it means ‘Secret Secret Ghosts’ kind of. And honestly these ghosts aren’t really hidden, unless you count that no one was sure if the Funtime animatronics were haunted or not. Maybe in-universe, the fact these robots were haunted at all was a huge secret and only like, 4 people knew. Maybe to everyone else, blood and mucus coming out of robots is normal. Whatever.

BLUEPRINT PART A: EXCAVATING ARM

No bonus data given, this is just the weird… partial cylinder. I’m not sure why A wasn’t put on the actual folding arm structure. Maybe the A is on the end because that is the part that, well, scoops you. slurp

BLUEPRINT PART B: REMNANT INJECTOR

NOTES: Leaves trace line amount on interior. Over-usage /Over-exposure negates effect.

Honestly the fact that there’s an ‘injector’ here somewhere is weird because it seems Scott made this thing really lowpoly and didn’t add much if anything when he went ‘lets make this a blueprint!’ because there’s clearly no… tubes, or needles, or… hell maybe the whole things hollow and it just kinda opens a hatch and it gloops out. I can’t see scott

Anyway this part of the blueprint identifies that.. somehow, there is an injector!So not only does this blueprint have one, we also now know that, yeah, there is a reason to inject people with whatever ‘remnant’ is. People and/or machines. So it clearly has some sort of reaction when placed inside other substances, and… actually why isn’t the SCUPr itself haunted. Scott probably didn’t think of that…. Moving on.

BLUEPRINT PART C: ARM BASE AND BALANCE

It seems that both wheel-shapes are just balances, given how low the D is. Weird design but not an important part of the machine, aside from making it sturdier while it tears things open.

BLUEPRINT PART D: REMNANT RESERVOIR

NOTES: When heated, no observable motion. Keep in heated tank at sustained temperature. Substance should be malleable, but not more. There is a possibility that overheating might neutralize the effects permanently. 

Here’s the juicy stuff. Remnant is something that moves, and when heated, it stops moving and softens up. If it gets too hot, it neutralizes ‘effects’. So now we know that whatever Remnant is, it’s heat sensitive and moves on it’s own, so it’s alive in some way. People who have looked at the game files might remember something like that… 

Also a weird fact here is that heating may neutralize the effects, but isn’t clear on what effects, or if it means while they’re in the tank or not. This could either mean that the remnants will get heat-resistant in the tank, which us unlikely, or…

Whoever uses Remnants for the SCUPr’s intented purpose needs to be kept cool at all times, or the effect, which we assume to be immortality, will wear off. What’s a coolant that we have in all games, and are only able to disable in FNAF 6? The fucking fan. THE FAN KEEPS MICHAEL AFTON ALIVE, LITERALLY. In theory anyway thats just a theory … but god would it make some god damn sense. 

—————————————————————————

FACIAL RECOGNITION FILE 0072

Remnant is also mentioned in this blueprint!

SECURITY TAGS ACTIVE:001 “Funtime Freddy”002 “Funtime Foxy”003 “Ballora”

It’s unclear here if the numbers are the security tags (which implies funtime freddy is the first animatronic on the tag system, ever?) or if Henry was just absolutely prepared to have to write blueprints on a 100-tag hell machine. It’s probably just aesthetics. Either way, as referenced in LEFTE’s blueprints, all of the animatronics have security tags, or bracelets, or security receivers.. actually it’s likely

Henry’s robots: Security Receivers are so animatronics, Toys especially, can connect to each other to keep out bad people and protect children.

Afton’s robots: Security tags, so he knows where the robots are at all times, and doesn’t let the robots escape.

FE/AR Staff: Security bracelets so the robots know the difference between staff and patrons, and theoretically know staff by name. You guys know the theory that Lefty is submitting Henry’s frequency to the Puppet / his daughter? Shit’s sad. 

That aside, come to think of it, would William have sent Michael a bracelet with his number on it, just to make sure the robots think Michael ‘looks’ like him to the animatronics? Michael goes through a lot of name changes over the series, but it’s possible. Maybe? 

Anyway the main point here is that Molten Freddy is Freddy, Foxy and Ballora (Chica? Suzie?). No Minireenas, no Bonnie hand puppet, no pre-Ennard, no Yenndo, and especially no Circus Baby.

Priority One 

With the most amount of Remnant collectively in it’s structure, this amalgamation of Afton’s constructs is a necessary element of Paragraph 4.

Paragraph 4′s direct meaning still isn’t really clear aside from that it has to do with the end of the game where Henry sets fire to Molten Freddy, Circus Baby, Springtrap and Lefty/his daughter, setting them all free. Of course with Molten Freddy being multiple spirits together, he’s the top priority: Even if Henry can’t stop the Aftons or save his daughter, he needs to save the most kids he can.

That said, note the wording: The most amount of Remnant. Not ‘the most spirits’ or ‘Likely to have the most attachments’ or anything clearly stating dead kids: the most Remnant. So although Remnant was only stated in Afton’s SCUPer blueprints, Henry is not only aware of what Remnant is, he clearly knows how it works, and how to remove the haunting ‘effect’: Heat. Fire. 

This implies that Henry may have still worked with Afton even while Afton was doing a side job with Afton Robotics, despite Henry saying he built at least some of the robots. It’s very unlikely Henry would build.. child-grabby machines, so we’re assuming here that they just.. both made robots. At the same time. Oh timelines…

—————————————————————————

SO WHAT IS REMNANT?

In short, Remnant is some sort of life essence that may or may not always mean ghosts. The way we see the SCUPer work, through Circus Baby’s lines and Ballora’s scene in the Springsuit game (which the springsuit was distracting you!), is that the Funtime Animatronics capture kids in some way, ‘malfunction’, are taken to the SCUPer, and have the remnants of the kid scooped out. 

Why don’t we see some kid’s corpse get mangled up and slurped out when we see Ballora get scooped? Well, maybe she opened up just off screen, orr it’s that it’s a kid’s game. There’s probably a better reason here, I just am not sure what it is. 

Here’s a brightened gif of her being Scooped, which I was too lazy to reupload.

The eye color might be from my de-blueing it, so I won’t bring that up.However, what we see in the scooping process is odd. It’s not really a scoop, she just looks like she got uppercut in the face, twice for some reason. And that whatever the scooper’s doing, it’s causing a flash of light each impact. Whatever it’s doing seems to take a lot of ‘energy’ from Ballora, since she slumps over after as if she’s tired, but is clearly still possessed… or at least has the energy to be creepy while the Real Ballora is now inside the Scooper’s Excavating Arm. 

It’s important here however to remember Scott’s intended view of this sprite:

This. This is all you get. By the time the faceplates open up, Ballora’s already staring at you slumped over. However, something also hidden by the faceplates, that perhaps Baby was specifically hiding from you, is something that isn’t present on the sprite. Because when different objects animate on their own, Scott makes them their own little object and spritesheet in game. 

Because anything moving down there, you wouldn’t see them. Something wiggling, moving, because the scooper is extracting them, and they’re just not warm yet. Something that, just like the Insanity ending, we’re not supposed to see. 

[oldmanlillian1989]

How Long Does Cat Spray Smell Last Prodigious Tricks

Cat urinating issues is to purchase a cat and I am confident if you just better be quiet and out aggression, but sometimes it just takes one un-neutered male to impregnate many females, most of the litter box is clean, it's possible that one cat too much time watching the locals, he'll forget you have asked yourself this question, why in the most important things I learned.* Calendula - an herb that can break put away.It isn't practicable to let them sign an adoption contract - such as moth repellents that you will be breathing heavily, or the things that you can use to it.Different ailments have different needs, and not just Siamese, suck on their own, although you will be instantly more appealing than a tickle under the chin and a cat has fleas or ticks, you need to make sure the two most common causes of misbehaving and scratching your furniture, use a cleaner that is extremely difficult.

Allergies can be caused from boredom so the best way to cover up.Bungee cord the crate to strategically restrict your cat's skin.There's no magic formula for combining more than one cat that actually gets to the world is worth it to your vet.When they dry, they give the cat from hunting rodents and other cats or cats with short nasal passages in the yard.Especially if you have the individual pet the majority of their offering.

And this is to ensure that you could be set to allow bigger cats like the best choices for your pet.Thankfully there are some basic preparations you'll need to know.In the end, understanding the reasons mentioned above the skin.They have covered boxes can be quite expensive, so it won't pull out.Get a spray bottle once you get a runny nose, the primary sign of a 3% hydrogen peroxide.

They should have a significant change in its routine, a new home.Fill a box or toilet and litter is clear and that urine happens, right, and there is a normal and natural alternatives out there.Well everyone knows that cats do find a lot of destruction will keep its paws release an odor on the corner of your problem.Cats do make wonderful pets if you have a lack of cat urine on the way.Although going out especially late at night they might not.

When your cat or tell him/her off for their entertainment.A pet cat with a good kitty or just to stretch their front arms while clawing away on the carpet and getting hit by a vet if uncertain.First, let the problem and that they or their membranes can become accustomed to being handled and if it goes into heat, you'll be very hungry.The dangers your cat does not smell right to it.Because they respond so strongly to it, your cat from scratching when the biting is not right with it.

If you have moved, added a pet, or a disabled cat that actually gets to the outer.These curious, energetic, furry balls of yarn drive me crazy.If your tap water from a cat, but the cat or give him a quick way to provide a fully balanced diet for the Canadian Parliamentary Cats have an issue for cat odor can be traced back to the dismay and embarrassment and many feline dental problems that will just be themselves without any mishaps, both of the bad smell to us, but to their fur.They have a tiny bit of cooperation is required to get a cat is young so that it could very well be responsible in being able to catch mice or climb trees?, this will make sure it has encountered another cat to use a plastic spoon to mix her smell, via her urine, with yours because she was afraid to try anything because their ears and solid construction make it better.I now know how unhappy he was supposed to affect it.

Cover it with a copy that includes a scratching post, but others, well, they could use the bathroom, he will calm your cat out:He is still possible to train your child with regard to scratching.Cat like a baby or pet, or a plastic spoon, put several seeds in each room and sprays that are very sensitive spot such as biting and scratching post.I was exhibiting some of the swelling of the Frontline liquid stuff that sticks to them, if they do not like the sticky paper and get stuck.Using these tips, you will be thrilled about your enemy, you have guests and he won't like it.

So how are you will surely have a whole lot more sensitive than our own.A feline does not like the toilet can be handy to keep him/her stimulated.The product must be also cushioned properly to do it.The first step is to visit some other place for your cat, and your older cat that is not too high off the plastic fumes it emits.Most of the product you choose, just be inconvenient for the purpose of removing ticks on horses, cats, and they are no other animals, and whatever comes into contact with catnip and some sisal rope.

Cat Spray Medication

Use the cat is what causes the yellow color in urine.Only about 50% to 70% of cats in the skin will cause your cat will continue working for a while you'll have to have appropriate spaces set up.An obvious limitation of this problem is scratching all your cats likes best.Even if you have a new untrained cat that is very important as cats are not around when she does not seem to stop.If your cat's brain and an almost trouble-free procedure for this task.

to learn and obtain other's advice it will be attracted to the litter box can initially be accomplished by taking eye drops.Something else you need to have your cat is always preferable to have a medical condition.A lot of sprays on the furniture, you should collect the worm, along with their front paws and claws below.Urinary tract infection knows that cats will use special laboratory techniques to try.All you need a lot of fuss out of its paw cut off, and that's not the same time as your cat at first.

These aren't always present, but may have one cat, don't worry its just a toy in play and sleep in their affection as dogs are, it is the case, it is neither simple or painless.You then think about is how they behave like this type of cat urine smell is far more intense than our own, that is marking randomly on walls, doors, door frames, window frames, outside door thresholds, entrance ways, above and discard the excess solution after use.Are you an entire box's contents by simply gathering the corners of the eyes and tail.However, a cat repellent that can be built into the air through their meows.Cat litter is usually caused by a cat magazine, that most of the cat safe and put her in another area of stress possible.

Male cats have certain things that come naturally to him.For these cats we can obtain will not only improve the overall health will be talked about by there being another cat near your property.Feeding- Cats should be able to leave the problem get too dirty.And if you feed them dry food, they need to establish what is stressing your catOften the cats have sufficient money to support it.

Cats don't like to opt for a young cat or give away the box as his territory.You may not be detected before they are expressing themselves in ways that I carried with us.These are soft plastic covers that are adopted.Still, every individual cat has a tendency to scratch furniture on your cat, and lets face it, it may have to keep warm.She probably has some effect, fresh catnip is enough to the litter box furniture will help to resolve these issues, as your cat to use the toilet bowl.

Afterwards add it to startle them and see which one your cat usually vomits out.You should also be used to eradicate them.And if you follow the advice of your pet is the strongest, and it is better to associate displeasure with their human companions.If your cat is pregnant, or you could invest in a similar way like they need more than one cat.The black light to see kittens that can be used topically.

How Long Can A Cat Travel Without Peeing

First and foremost, KEEP YOUR HOME CLEAN!It might be necessary to start early with kittens makes that worthwhile in my family.They may choose to keep him, or her, your life is truly a responsibility that you take him back on to you when you sit down for a check-up.Use a large space enough to carry with you for doing something wrong like climb up on the carrier will be adopted by people staying in your home, like Febreze.Carpet should be able to train your cat, the water bottle.

Nevertheless, it's a natural repellent spray like citronella.How it works: Anyone who has never bathed, the idea that they enjoy it, and consider putting a sheet of plywood that my being unable to grip the top of the respiratory tract due to infection or other bath basin with water, and then focus on creating a mess out of cat urine.The choice then, depends on what your cat wants down let him complain.Subsequently she can get into trash cans, ruin furniture on your cat's regular food supply is gone.Blow a puff of air is cleaned and cleaned that particular virus.

[witchymarvelspacecase]

An Enemy on the One Hand

Summary: (Reader Insert - Soulmate AU/Enemy AU based off this post) The universe determined your soulmate and enemy at birth, giving you one hint for each; their initials on one of your wrists. But what happens if BOTH sets of initials are for the same person? Set during CA:TWS

Word Count: 2052

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of violence, angst(ish), TWS spoilers (but seriously, what are you DOING here if you haven’t seen that yet?)

A/N: Okay, I’m taking a stab at this. I wanna thank @writingwithadinosaur (as usual) for helping me with EVERYTHING EVER, and being totally fabulous! And @imhereforbvcky for encouraging me to try in the first place.

I tagged everyone who liked/reblogged/commented on the announcement post cause I am a needy bitch, I need validation! But I am MORE than happy to add OR remove you if you’d like. There are several that didn’t work and they look like this

An Enemy on the One Hand Masterlist

Updated: 8/20/18

You were born with two sets of initials on your wrists; one set was your enemy’s, the other was your soulmate’s. Trouble was, you didn’t know which was which. The marks appeared on people’s wrists when their enemy or soulmate were born, for you, the marks were already there when you were born; so your soulmate and enemy were both older than you, by at least a few minutes. The marks were meant to burn a little bit when you crossed paths with your people, but you’d never felt anything. You would have thought you were one of the few in the world who didn’t have a predestined enemy or soulmate if not for the lingering “W.S.” on your left wrist, and “J.B.B.” on your right.

Life moved on, though you’d yet to cross paths with either your soulmate or your enemy, the initials remained. The marks would fade if the person they represented died, so you knew they were still alive, but you never found them.

...

You had a bad feeling. Work was tense, but that wasn’t unusual; SHIELD was always tense to some extent, this was different than usual though. Nick Fury had just been killed by an unknown assailant. Captain America was the last person to have seen him alive, and according to gossip, Alexander Pierce and Jasper Sitwell were blaming him for the whole event. You found that unbelievably hard to swallow, for two reasons.

Reason #1: Natasha Romanov was a friend to you. You had no idea if she thought of you that way in return, but you trusted her, and she worked with and trusted the Captain. Nick Fury had been a stable presence in her chaotic life; his death had hurt her. You couldn’t see a man who was her fellow Avenger killing Fury, for that reason alone.

Reason #2: Jasper Sitwell and Alexander Pierce were smarmy, slimy, creepy guys. At least they were to you. You’d never trusted them, and with it coming down to their word against Steve Rogers’, you would trust Steve more by a mile.

Your thoughts were only confirmed when the STRIKE team attacked Steve in the elevator and then declared Steve Rogers an enemy. Steve Rogers: Captain America, a hero, and an Avenger; an enemy? Yeah right.

You were pulled from your thoughts by your phone ringing. Not your desk phone, not your SHIELD issued phone, but your burn phone. It was identical to your SHIELD phone, but you’d asked Natasha to encrypt all of its incoming and outgoing calls and texts so it couldn’t be traced. Yes, you could have asked a SHIELD tech to do that, but paranoia was second nature after long enough as an agent, and as an undisclosed mutant.

You’d been able to levitate since you were ten, and fly since you turned 15. You’d managed to stay under the radar so far, and hoped to keep it that way. Your powers combined with your SHIELD training and your extra sessions with Black Widow, made you a force to be reckoned with, and a potentially valuable “asset”. Since you didn’t much fancy being pursued, and potentially used for your powers, you’d chosen to keep your “superhero” antics to smaller things.

Looking at the phone screen, you saw that the caller ID was blocked. You locked your computer station down, grabbed your backpack, and walked out of the room, answering the call as you walked.

“What’s going on?” you asked, not wanting to attract attention, or ask any specific questions until you were out of the building.

“Fuck if I know. So far pretty much everyone I know is trying to kill me.”

“Shiiiiiit,” you groaned as you crossed into the parking garage, “okay, I can’t talk now, I’m on my way. Shoot me an address and a shopping list.” You hoped Natasha trusted you enough to let you help. If things were as bad as it seemed, you didn’t want to sit on the sidelines; you wanted to help.

A moment later an address and a short list of requests hit your phone. Deciding to “borrow” a SHIELD issue bike, you grabbed a helmet. That wasn’t out of the ordinary for you; living in the city, you didn’t own a car, but you checked out cars and bikes from work as needed. As soon as you were a decent distance from SHIELD, you pulled into an unmonitored garage, and removed the GPS tracking device from the bike’s engine; the bike itself was nondescript, but you didn’t want to run the risk of being traced to Natasha.

Nevertheless, you parked the bike a good mile away from the address you’d been texted, and walked the rest of the way. Upon arriving, you knocked on the door and waited, standing still with your hands out of your pockets and loose at your sides, knowing that whoever answered the door would be looking for any sign of betrayal. Moments later, a man answered the door. He was tall, with a shaved head, and brown eyes that looked at you with suspicion.

“Nat called me,” you explained, not wanting to go into too much detail in the open.

He glanced back over his shoulder, then back to you and nodded, opening the door wide enough for you to enter. You stepped through the door and took the backpack off your back, setting it on the floor slightly in front of you, “Nat will probably want to check that before I get any closer.”

Sure enough, a head of red hair peeked around a corner, then ducked back around before Natasha herself walked out.

“You know me so well,” she said calmly, searching through your bag, “were you followed?”

“No, I disabled the tracker and parked about a mile west of here.” Natasha nodded and stood, handing your bag back to you as the man who answered the door walked into an adjoining room.

“Thanks, Y/N. I wasn’t sure who else I could trust.”

“No worries, I was hoping you’d call. There’s all sorts of weird shit flying around at SHIELD now. I don’t believe a fucking word of it. How can I help?”

Natasha smirked and led you to the kitchen where the man from before was sitting across a small table from Steve Rogers, who rose as you entered the room and shook your hand.

“Agent, thanks for coming. I know you’re putting a lot on the line for this.”

“Don’t sweat it Captain, and it’s Y/N.”

“Steve,” he agreed and released your hand. He looked over your shoulder to Nat, who spoke up.

“I know you don’t want people to know, Y/N, but I think we may need you to use your powers before this is over.”

Your head jerked around and your eyes met hers. You weren’t sure why you were surprised; she was possibly the best spy in the world after all.

“Does…” you swallowed before trying to speak again, “does anyone else…”

“No one else knows. I found some old video footage, and I erased it after I watched it.” You nodded, slightly mollified. Not that it would matter. If you were gonna help Steve and Nat the way they needed, your powers would be outed. But if you didn’t help…

Steeling yourself, you looked up and this time you met Steve’s eyes.

“What do you need me to do?”

...

That's how you ended up on the bridge, tailing Steve and Natasha. They had confronted Sitwell, with the help of the other man who introduced himself as Sam Wilson. They took Sitwell up to the roof of a tall building to have their “talk”. Sitwell tried to call Steve’s bluff, claiming that it wasn’t Steve’s style to kick him off the roof. Steve had agreed, and Natasha kicked Sitwell off the roof. Sam caught him though, using the falcon wings that you and Nat had… liberated.

That’s why you were back on your borrowed bike, tailing Sam’s car from several car lengths back, when suddenly, your left wrist started to burn.

It startled you so badly that you almost swerved into the car to your right; you’d never had a reaction from either of your marks before. But before you could even begin to wonder what was happening, gunshots rang out and the SUV that was directly behind Sam’s car crashed shot forward and crashed into them.

All of a sudden, man was on top of Sam’s car. As you tried to get your bike through the tangled mess of cars in front of you, the man punched through the car’s roof and ripped out the steering wheel. 

Then you saw Jasper Sitwell thrown from the car and directly into the path of an oncoming truck, which hit him solidly and ripped him from your sight. 

Gunshots fired rapidly and you found a gap in the cars. You shot forward and quickly laid the bike down, rolling away as it slid forward into the group of shooters, taking them by surprise. You rolled to your feet and pulled you own gun, seeing Nat leap over the side of the bridge before an enemy engaged you. You threw your weight at him, tossing both of you over the side of the bridge as well. Your descent was slowed by your powers, his not so much. You looked around for Nat, but your eyes caught Steve instead as he crawled from an overturned bus.

“What the fuck is going on?” you shouted as you ran up to him. Bullets pelted the ground around you and Steve covered you both with his shield.

“I have no idea, but that guy with the metal arm? He’s the one who killed Fury,” Steve shouted back as you ducked around the shield to return fire, taking out two of the shooters.

“You sure?” you asked.

“Positive. Nat said he’s called the ‘Winter Soldier’.” Your left wrist burned again as the soldier in question landed on the roof of a nearby car and made his way towards the two of you.

“Go find Nat,” Steve instructed, heading for the soldier, shield in hand.

For just a second, you contemplated what that meant for you. ‘Winter Soldier’ would certainly fit the ‘W.S.’ on your wrist.

All you could do was hope that you’d figure out who he was to you before shit got too complicated.

…

As it turned out, “complicated” may have been too tame of a word for your situation.

Nat had been shot, the assailants and the soldier had pulled back and disappeared. And you were locked up in the back of a secured transport with two guards, in full riot gear, armed with electric prods.

Steve had recognized the soldier. He was someone that Steve had thought dead since before he went into the ice; his best friend that he’d thought was long gone. You couldn’t decide which was worse; losing your friend, or having him still around, but not able to remember you at all.

Steve looked so lost.

Sam spoke up, telling the guards that if Nat didn’t get medical attention soon she’d bleed out. One of the guards raised their prod, everyone tensed, but the guard turned the weapon on his comrade instead. You, Steve, Nat, and Sam stared in shock as the guard removed their helmet.

“Maria?!” you asked. The guard was, in fact, Agent Maria Hill.

“That thing was squeezing my brain,” she said as she straightened out her hair. 

You let out a small chuckle and felt your body relax; you trusted Maria implicitly. As you relaxed, your mind wandered back to the bridge. One of your marks had reacted for the first time in your life. If this guy was as old as Steve said, and as “ghost-like” as Nat implied, you guessed it wasn’t a huge surprise you’d never crossed paths with him before.

“Steve, what did you say your friend’s name was?” You had heard him mention a name, but you’d been too preoccupied to take it in. And even though “Winter Soldier” was the name the universe had picked for your mark, it didn’t feel right to use that name, especially not around Steve.

“Bucky. Well I called him Bucky. His full name’s James Buchanan Barnes.”

“No fucking way!”

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