#his bear tattoo is a reminder for tim to make it home every night

[introspectivememories]

tim and bear getting couple tattoos.... tim gets a bear on his hip and bear gets a grasshopper over his heart

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #394

“just want one thing  /  just to play the king  /  but the castle’s crumbled and you’re left with just a name  /  where’s your crown, king nothing?”

Do you have your ears pierced more than once? Yeah; I have two in my earlobes and my right tragus pierced. I used to have a cartilage and anti-tragus piercing, but they closed when I had to take them out at the hospital. -_- Do you use an electric toothbrush? Yep. Have you ever seen a queen bee outside its hive? I don't believe so? Have you ever used Duolingo? No. Do you think the number 13 is unlucky? No. Which Clue (or Cluedo) character is your favourite? I always played Scarlet because I thought she was pretty. Do you have any novelty ice cube trays? No. Have you ever had a bad experience meeting a bf’s/gf’s parents? No. Do you get sick of eating turkey during the holidays? I don't eat turkey because I don't like it. I have honey spiral ham instead. Have you ever danced on a table? No. Did you have a lot of fun as a little kid? Yeah. Is there someone you can talk to all day, never running out of stuff to say? Some days. Ham or turkey? Ham. Would you rather eat nothing but fruits or nothing but cheese sandwiches? Fruit. What’s the last song you sung along to? I think Shinedown's "Get Up" while I was in the car. You get to be in any tv series or movie. (old/new) What are you choosing? Let's seeee... maybe Wonderland! Do you meditate? No; it actually stresses me out because I can't completely clear my head. What’s your go-to song when you’re angry? "Headache" by Motionless In White is a good one. What do you think about the most? My weight, honestly. It's at least an itching thought in my head at ALL times. Just being able to feel that I'm overweight and simply glimpsing a fatty part of my body is so, so upsetting. I usually look in the mirror to see if my face is slimmer whenever I pass one, or I'll grasp a part of my body to just feel if I've lost weight there. I could really go on and on about this, but I'd rather not, given it's depressing me talking about it. Have you ever visited any celebrity gravesites? No. How do you feel about archaeology? It's extremely fascinating to me. Any animals whose behaviors you find particularly interesting? ALL animals! Meerkats, however, quite obviously top my list. I love love love social animals, and their behaviors and deep connections remind me of just how human animals really can be, but honestly better half the time. What are your thoughts on gun control? There MUST be reform. I don't think entirely taking away the right to bear arms is the answer, but there needs, needs, NEEDS to be some serious tidying up regarding it. I believe it should be much more difficult to legally obtain a firearm with very extensive background checks and things of the like. I firmly do believe it would help SOME to prevent gun violence. Nothing is ever going to completely stop it unless firearms just cease to exist, but anything that helps reduce it is worth it. Would you have a big cat (like a tiger) for a pet if you could? Absolutely not. Big cats are extremely dangerous with strong hunting instincts, and besides putting my life at risk, I am not forcing a large animal into a small space. Do you like animals better than most humans? Sure as hell do. What simple things in life bring you the most joy? Hearing birds chirping in the morning, crickets and toads at night, starting my soda for the day (rip), watching snow fall, feeling a cool breeze on a nice day with the windows open, my pets wanting to cuddle... just to name a few. I massively appreciate the small things, so I could make this a very long list. What are your favorite smells? Cinnamon rolls, coffee, fresh baked bread, lilac, honeysuckles, etc. Ever found anything cool at a thrift store? What was it? Yeah! I've found some dragon figurines I use for decor, but the absolute coolest has to be this shipwreck lamp that I bought. I love flea markets. How do you find new music to listen to when you want it? YouTube recommendations, usually. Do you like all those dystopian future books/movies? They're all right. If you collect anything, what is your favorite piece of that collection? I collect two types of things: meerkat-oriented and Silent Hill stuff. My favorite part of my meerkat collection is Rebel, my super cute plushy that Jason got me. I slept with it for years and even now that we're done, I still hold the little guy very dear to me. My favorite SH piece I have is a limited edition, Japanese flyer for Silent Hill: Revelation that I won in a giveaway. How did you meet your significant other (if you have one)? N/A How did you meet your best friend? Via YouTube. Your favorite place to be aside from your home? Sara's house. Do you have any favorite books you’d like to have signed by the author? It'd be dooooope if I could have Tim Clutton-Brock sign my copy of Flower's biography. Do you like any board games or card games? I mean yeah. Not a lot, but some. What is your least favorite beverage? Of the things I've tried, probably black coffee. Do you like Breaking Benjamin? I do! What kind of music do you like? Metal, rock, alternative, and indie. Do you like guys with long hair? Yes. Have you ever seen an elephant? Yes. How many people of the opposite sex have you told you loved them? One, if you mean romantically. Do you and your mom get along? Yeah, we're really close. Have you ever had to change your phone number? Twice that I recall. I got a creepy text once, and another with threats. Ever been bitten by a spider? Not to my knowledge. When you were little did you jump in puddles? Oh, absolutely. Bugs: Cool or gross. Even though I'm scared of some of them, they're certainly still cool. Well, most. Do you wear a toe ring? No, I don't find those attractive at all. Have you ever had to babysit before? Twice, even though I didn't want to. Do you actually eat your fortune cookie, if you get one? Yeah, I like 'em. What's your favorite thing about cats? I enjoy how calm and independent they are. Salt, or pepper? I like both, but I prefer to have salt. Think of an ex. What's his favorite color? Jason's were green and purple. Which is better, the taste, or smell of coffee? I only like the smell. What item appears the most in your room? Meerkat stuff. Liquid eyeliner, is good, or totally sucks? My hands are WAY too shaky for that. Has a stray dog ever tried to bite you? No. Do you currently have any bug bites? No. Do you multitask well? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Do you know what an "AMV" is? Yes, because I used to make them and am considering getting back into it. What’s one award show you have to watch every year? None. Who do you like more: the Batman or the Joker? The Joker. Have you ever had a pet rock? I don't recall, actually? I might have as a little kid. Haha, there was one April Fool's Day that Mark sold rocks with his mustached "M" on them, and I SO wanted one. He gave all the earnings to a charity that I can't remember, so that also really made me wanna get one, but yeah, I was NOT asking Mom for even a small amount of money for a rock, haha. She woulda been so fucking confused. Do you know anyone with a lazy eye? Knew, rather. Did your parents let you have pets when you were a kid? Yes. What band was on the last band t-shirt you wore? Ummmm... I'm not sure. Maybe Korn? What’s the last movie you watched at a friend’s house? Elf, I believe? Do you have any tattoos on your arms? Yep. Do you own a teapot? No. Did you have a GI Joe when you were a kid? No. What is the origin of your last name? Irish. Do you ever use the "n"-word? NO. What piercing do you like most on the opposite sex? It would depend on the person, but probably some sort of lip ring(s). What is your salad dressing of choice? Ranch, or the kind from Olive Garden. Have you ever written anything longer than 10 pages? Yes. I wrote a massive essay on toxic masculinity during my last college attempt. I got WAY more into it than I thought I would.

[chronicbatfictioner]

Exchanges and Compromises - Chapter 6

The fact that Tim Drake was only 16 when she first met him did not surprise Barbara much. Granted, her network of informants came from all ages, but most of them were those under the age of 18 who could come and go and be somewhat 'safe'. Yes, Gotham's idea of 'safe' might cause other cities' parents to throw a conniption. Or have a coronary, depending on how much they love their children. But in the case of Tim, Barbara understood that there was no parent that would have any kind of hissy fit at the fact that Tim was walking outside of his manor's gates in the dead of night.

She learned quickly that he had run into Catwoman nearly 5 years ago - he was barely even 12 years old then and had just lost his parents. He was out and about at Gotham's 'better' neighborhoods where the rich people live; determined to find pieces of evidence that would nail his parents' murderer, when Catwoman was looting the home of the said murderer. He had made a deal with Catwoman that he would keep the evidentiary items - including his mother's earrings - and Catwoman can keep the rest.

In the next years, he would often ask for Catwoman's help to find evidence of other crimes; and by the time he met Barbara, he was loaded with information on at least a dozen corrupt politicians that Barbara could not have acquired otherwise.

Plus, Timothy Drake, the rich boy, has a unique insight into the mind of 'the nouveau riche'. "They liked their valuables to be in one place so that they could take them out from time to time to admire them." Tim had explained. "The old rich, however, prefer it the other way around. They prefer their new valuables near, old valuables - like family heirlooms - safely tucked away. They're superstitious like that. And they would usually keep secrets with the heirlooms out of superstition: they think their forefathers would guard the secret or something."

"I... actually don't know what to think of on that," Barbara admitted. "But it makes sense, considering." Considering the fact that her dad had often commented on how there seemed to be only a small amount of valuables in the homes of the 'old families' of Gotham. Tim had come bearing gifts, too, a piece of evidence to the murder of a union representative. The photos clearly depicted the representative as being murdered by a third party, who had accidentally exposed a significant tattoo on his arm. The name of the mastermind was printed on the envelope it was sealed in; Barbara would have had no problem in delivering the envelope to now-Captain Gordon's Homicide unit. Said mastermind had just reported his home broken into by Catwoman a few days ago.

"Shouldn't Catwoman worry that she could be linked to these?" Barbara wanted to know, pointing to the photos.

"Sure, if they can find Catwoman," Tim smirked. "She likes it, though. The mob people are freaking out and trying to dump their evidence out of their safety deposit boxes - but they'll get the bling stolen; save their bling - got the evidence stolen."

Barbara also learned that Catwoman had taught Tim martial arts and evasive techniques, as well as lockpicking because he was nearly caught once. "She didn't care who I was. I would give her one 'shiny' every other month, Tim Drake the executive boy is said to be hoarding pieces of jewelry for a future wife." Tim explained, grinning sweetly.

"Any lady you court would have been... impressed, I'd say," Barbara commented, and then realized something else. "The guys, however, might need something else to impress them."

"Like 2nd-century arrowheads, full set, not stolen?" Tim pointed out. "Or a classic Bhutan Royal Armor made to order?"

"Damn, boy," Barbara exclaimed and laughed. "You got them both figured out."

Tim shrugged. "Mother taught me to always be prepared for all and any scenario of life, business and force Majeure included. She had all these documents prepared for if she and dad were to be incapacitated or... well... dead. And hence my ability to escape the foster care stuff. They legally couldn't make me." he explained. There was something in his voice and reaction that tugged... something in Barbara's mind.

She had chalked it up to his nervousness of talking about his mother. It took nearly a year for Barbara to find the confirmation that Tim had lied to her then. His mother might have taught him to be always prepared for anything, but the documents he'd mentioned were forged by him. And if she hadn't recruited another adult for her crime-fighting team, she might not have found or got a confirmation out of Tim.

Dinah Drake, better known as Black Canary, was an orphan who had had her taste of Gotham City's foster care system. She had run away at age ten and saved by a former Navy SEALS who ended up being her teacher, sensei, big brother, father, everything. After his death, Dinah had a stint at the DEO - Department of Extranormal Operations, where she had gotten hurt and decided to go back to Gotham to restart her life.

Who was Barbara to know that Dinah Drake would be related to Timothy Drake? Dinah has never met Tim - the son of a cousin of hers, apparently. Tim has never heard of Dinah from his father. Both of them - albeit at different times - have lost contact with their extended families, as living in Gotham is wont to make happen.

The one thing that made Dinah realized who Tim was, was literally Tim's eye colors. "Those are definitely Jack's eyes. They have this little defect that makes it turn silver and nearly transparent in spite of them being dark blue colored." Dinah explained. "I remember meeting Jack and was very mesmerized. I was pretty young, too. I knew I'd asked my mom if I could have eyes like that, and she said I can't."

Tim glared at her, a little amused. "Well, cousin Dinah, you're not here to adopt me or lay claim to Drake Industries' wealth, are you?"

Dinah's open bark of laughter sounded nice, Barbara thought. Of all the times she has known Dinah, the only laughter she would hear is if Dinah was 'having fun' beating up bad guys.

But no, Dinah has never had intentions to adopt Tim, "while that part I can be persuaded, the 'wealth' part I can't care less." she said. As Barbara suspected, the two orphans got along like house on fire. Selina Kyle - Catwoman - still often eyed Dinah warily, as if fearing that the blonde would take away her kitten. But otherwise, her small band of misfits seemed to be growing up and growing strong, and Barbara was happy.

Cautiously happy - Gotham has a way to extinguish all and any kind of positivity, and Barbara was far too pragmatic to let serotonin and dopamine overrule her brain. Even as she watched the others bickering and snickering good-naturedly through the reflections on her monitors, Barbara was already creating contingency plans after contingency plans in her mind.

She caught Tim's wistful smile from the reflection, and there was no mistake that he was smiling at her. "Need something, Tim?" she half-demanded, her cheek burned a little even after her mind reminded her that Tim was not a mind-reader. 

"Contingency plans," Tim replied, shrugging. Barbara managed not to blink or flinch. "I have a good lot of them, and none of them actually put me in this kind of situation: new actual family member, Birds of Prey, and so on. I don't know how to proceed from here."

"Keep up whatever you're doing, don't hurt anybody that don't deserve it, you're good to go," Dinah remarked from the other side of the room. 

Barbara bit back a grin. "Nutshell version: as your cousin Dinah has said. Tl:dr version: while we're here to right the wrongs that the world has inflicted upon our townsfolk and keep crimes off the street, we cannot deny that we, too, are walking outside the perimeter of laws. We do try to keep within the perimeters, but there are times that we might need... assistance, I should say, from what you do." she turned toward Catwoman, including her in the conversation. So..."

"See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil," Dinah quipped. 

"Plausible deniability, I get it," Tim smirked. "As far as you're concerned, you don't know us,"

"I can work with that," Catwoman snorted haughtily. "I have my street-cred to maintain, you know."

"I think your street-cred is kind of wonky now that you have a kitten," Dinah retorted. 

"He's a protegé!" Catwoman snapped back. "A protegé adds to my street-cred!"

"Ladies!" Barbara barked. "This is not high school. Stop behaving like you're in it. Now, plans. We keep going, we'll cross-check necessities with the two of you, we shall keep all of our cases in the open and you can contribute when or if you have knowledge thereof. We have briefings every other week, location and time to be informed later. We don't want to know how you get things done or where or when, and will provide necessary back up - e.g. alibi or support, if necessary. You two will provide us with methods to contact you at any time-- or else the deal is off." she promptly concluded before Catwoman could protest. 

"I still don't see how this benefits us," Catwoman argued. "We've been doing-- whatever it is we're doing that you don't need to know - for years. We don't need your help."

"Times are a-changin', ma," Tim said softly. "There are new people nowadays who brought in strange and dangerous people. We'll need help, one of these days, and I would rather the help came from Oracle and her team." He then turned to Barbara. "I'll be keeping in touch with you since mamaCat won't want you to know where she is at all times. I have nothing to hide."

"Right," Barbara sighed. "As long as we keep off from each other's throat, we good."

[blondiefrommars-blog]

J

I had never met them, and tonight was the first time I was going to see them in concert in almost 7 years. I had a group of friends I was going with. This was the last group function we were going to do together before I moved to California. I was so excited.

 I had achieved everything I wanted to before making the decision to move. I completed my weight loss journey, I was finally a trim 150 at 5’3”. I completed my college degree in accounting. I was transferring to a store and I had an Airbnb set up and waiting. I was prepared to try and find a different job that used my degree and continue the journey to be an actress. I had the tattoos that reminded me of who I was, and I got my motorcycle endorsement.

 I was on my bike headed to the concert, the others in my group were in the SUV beside me, they were blasting a Mars playlist. I was the daredevil. The roads were still slightly damp from the rain earlier. It was fall in the Pacific Northwest.

 We arrived, I walked over to the SUV, and started taking the motorcycle gear off. I had a black and white Mars crop top on, and skinny jeans. They were men’s, they had actual pockets!! My long blonde hair was in a high ponytail. The only personal items I was going to have on me was my ID, credit/debit cards, and my sound activated mask. I wanted to wear it in hopes of getting Jared’s attention. I wasn’t ashamed to admit that, but all I wanted was a hug. No selfie, just a hug.

 The group I was with consisted of myself, 2 of my best girlfriends, and 2 male friends. Jessica was taller than me, with jet black hair, I had known her since 2007. She was with me when I saw them the 1st time. Liz was the other female, she was also taller than me with brown curly hair that she straightened, we had been friends for around 3 years, even though we went to the same high school we had run in different circles, not to mention I was a year ahead of her. One of the guys, Tim, was her husband, he was coming because she wanted to sit on his shoulders. James was the other male, he was a friend and a previous co-worker of mine. His wife stayed home with their little girl. She had no interest in going.

 We were the 2nd group to get in the door, they hall had us lined up to receive our General Admission bands. This was the point of getting here early. The GA bands were limited, and there really is no other place you wanna be than in the pit when Mars is playing. We were almost 3 hours ahead of the concert. No one really cared, we all started making friends with the people around us. As we got closer to “go” time, people started getting amped up.

 There were a couple guys walking around with cameras taking pictures of people, and filming. Our group was approached for a picture which we were more than happy to participate. After the picture was approved by Jessica, another guy came up and asked if he could interview one of us, quickly before the show. Jessica pushed me forward, “You should interview Emma. She’s the one that’s got the tattoos, and is the real echelon.”

 “Really, would you mind?” the man asked.

 I glared at Jessica, I didn’t really like to talk about myself. And I had a feeling this guy was going to ask a lot of questions. That is usually what happens during an interview. “Sure, I guess.”

 He pulled me out of line and was escorting me to the interview spot, there was a stool for me to sit on. I propped myself up and took a deep breath.

 “Why don’t you start off with why you are a Mars fan? Or Echelon?” he asked.

 “Well, I’m sure you guys have heard this a lot, but they saved my life. About a year ago, I had a failing marriage, my anxiety and depression were starting to rule my life. I found myself sitting in my bathtub one night with my headphones in and a utility blade. I was ready to slit my wrists and end everything. But as I put the blade to my wrist, Alibi came on. I listened, and continued to listen. Mind you I never stopped listening to Mars before that. But, this is going to sound weird, but it felt like they were talking to me. Telling me to wait, just wait, the good stuff is coming. So, I didn’t do it.”

 The guy behind the camera was staring at me, with his jaw on the floor and his eyebrows had joined his hairline. I hadn’t noticed he was joined by a woman, who whispered something in his ear, started walking past me to a door behind me.

 “Okay so what and where are the tattoos?” he said with a cough.

 “Oh these, I showed my wrists, on my right wrist was the triad and on my left forearm was the 4 glyphs and the lyric ‘This is who I really am’. They remind me every day to not give up and keep pushing. Not to mention they cover up my self-harm scars.” I replied, staring at my arms.

 He walked over with the camera, then hesitated and asked, “Do you mind if I film your arms?”

 I shook my head, and said, “Go ahead.”

 The woman reappeared. She moved to be behind the tech guy, who I assumed was seeing what was being filmed. The other guy moved away from me, and asked, “Have you ever met Mars before?”

 “Nope, I don’t think I could handle it.” I replied. I could feel the blush creep up my neck and into my face.

 “What would do if you did meet them?” he asked, he folded his arms.

 I took a breath, and replied, “Honestly? Probably cry and ask for a shit ton of hugs.” I covered my mouth, “Sorry for the language.”

 The woman chuckled, and said, “Oh please, Jared is WAY worse.”

 I smiled.

 At that moment, I saw in peripherals I saw someone stand on my left. I snapped my head to the left and there was Tomo. My jaw dropped. “Are you fucking kidding me!” I half whispered, half said. I didn’t want to draw attention to myself, but Tomo did that all on his own.

 “Hi.” He said, holding his arms out. I shifted on the stool so I was facing him and hugged him.

 “It’s so nice to meet you!” he said hugging me tightly. I could feel my eyes starting to water. He released me as the door to our right opened, and Shannon came out. “Hey there’s Shannon, Shannon I think she needs one of your bear hugs.”

 I was still in shock, but at this point I was crying and my hands were on my face, covering everything. I didn’t like people be able to see me cry. That’s when I felt him, “Hey come here.” He whispered as he pulled me into a hug. I was positioned in between his legs, my knees where at mid-thigh level. I snaked my arms out from in between us and hugged him. Shannon and I both had out faces buried in each other’s necks and his right hand was on the back of my head. The best hug a girl could ask for.

 As he pulled away, she grabbed my arms, and said, “So there is one more person to see you. We were watching the video behind that door.”

 Shannon backed away and two muscular arms came around me from behind. I knew whose arms they belonged to by the tattoos. On the right wrist was the “Thirty” glyph, and the left had ink from ‘A Beautiful Lie’ album.

 He pulled me back slightly, and rested his head on my right shoulder. My arms were trapped, and my hands felt cold, I could tell I was shaking slightly. As he turned his head to look at me, that’s when two tears ran down my right cheek.

 “Oh, hey no crying, unless they are happy tears.” Jared moved around to stand in the spot Shannon had vacated. He took my face in his hands and wiped away the tears. “It’s nice to meet you.” He said only loud enough for him and me to hear. “I saw the filming of your story and we had to meet you. Can I see your tattoos?” He asked.

 I nodded, as I lifted my arms, Shannon and Tomo enclosed around me. “Wow, those are cool. Nice and simple. I dig it.” Tomo said.

 Jared and Shannon each had one of my arms, I was shaking, I knew you couldn’t see most of the scars, but I knew they were there. Jared had my right arm, as he ran his hand down my arm he said, “Hey we have slightly matching tattoos.” He showed me his wrist.

 I sniffled, “I know, this was my first tattoo, I got it on August 22 last year, the day you released Walk on Water. I didn’t actually plan it that way, and I didn’t plan for it to be on the same wrist as you.” I motioned to the arm Shannon was holding, “I got this one on October 17 last year, to make myself not be able to self-harm anymore, as well as remind me to not give up.”

 “Holy shit, that’s the most you have said to any of us!” Jared said smiling.

 Tomo and Shannon laughed. I chuckled.

 Jared turned serious, “So really only want hugs?”

 I nodded, “I just wanted to say thank you. You saved me, I now and going for my dreams, and nothing is going to stop me.”

 He smiled. “Good. Well, you aren’t just getting hugs.” He said as he pulled me into him. “Are you here with a group?” he asked.

 “yeah” I said as I pointed out my friends.

 Jared nodded, and said, “Pull them over here to!”

  Jessica, Liz, Tim, and James joined us, we were brought over to a larger area where I was pushed in between Jared and Shannon, Tomo was on the end hanging onto Jessica and the others. I was literally in a Leto sandwich. Not a bad place to be.

 As the pictures where finished, Jared pulled me aside, took my arms in his hands and looked me dead in the eye, “I need you to promise me something, okay?” I nodded. “No more hurting yourself, okay? Call the suicide line, reach out to your friends, anything. I don’t wanna get news that you are gone. Only if you promise me that will I give you your presents.” He said.

 “I promise. I haven’t done any self-harming for over a year.” I said quietly. Jessica came over to us, “Well hopefully you can maybe keep an eye out for her Jared, since she is moving to L.A. tomorrow.”

 “Wait, you’re moving to L.A.?” He asked. “Why? What is there for you?”

 “My dreams. I have always wanted to be an actress. So, I got an associate’s degree in accounting, so I can have a decent paying job while I pursue that dream.” I replied shyly. I didn’t really like voicing that I wanted to be famous. I felt like it was the fact that Jared was holding me that my self-confidence had abandoned me.

 “Well then, here.” He said as he handed me a black hoodie, it said ‘You Wouldn’t Understand.’ On the front. I picked it up and hugged it. “Really? Thanks!”

 “Alright let’s get you into the hall so we can have fun.” Shannon said.

 Before I was pulled from Jared, he whispered, “Look in the pocket, and at the back.”

 I smiled and nodded.

 Shannon ran over and planted a kiss on my head, and then they were gone.

 Jessica grabbed my arm as I just stood there staring at the door they had disappeared through. A security guard escorted us into the venue and we picked our spot, not 2 seconds later did the flood gates open and people were running towards us at full speed. We were pinned against the safety bar instantly. People took one look at me and started up conversations. I wasn’t listening, I was staring at the sweatshirt I was holding.

 “Emma, come here.” James said as he pulled me closer to the middle of the area our group was occupying.

 “What did he say to you before he left?” Jessica asked.

 I looked at her, and replied, “He said look in the pocket and on the back. Did that whole experience really happen to me? I feel like I’m dreaming.”

 “Here, this will make it real.” Jessica replied. A few seconds later my phone chimed, Jess had sent me a couple pictures. One was Jared and I looking at the camera smiling, the other was us looking at each other, it was the moment he made me promise not to self-harm anymore. I would remember that moment forever.

 I looked at her and smiled, with tears in my eyes. That’s when I reached into the pocket of the jacket, there was a piece of paper. I opened it up, all it said was a number and said, ‘Text Me.’ Whose umber is that? I grabbed my phone, and inputted the number and sent a message of ‘Okay, I’m texting.’

 After, I flipped the sweatshirt over and on the back, it said ‘Leto Crew’

I didn’t understand, I looked at Jessica, she had an eyebrow arched. I shook the jacket out, the tag caught my eye, I shifted the article of clothing in my hands and looked at the tag, in sharpie it had a ‘JL’ on the tag.

 “Oh my god.” I said, I snapped my head up to look at Jessica and Liz, their jaws were on the ground.

 “Holy Cow.” Jessica said

 “Sweet Mother of Mary!” Liz screamed.

 The three of us had come to the same conclusion. Jared Leto had given me his sweatshirt. My grip on it tighten tenfold.

The concert started, and as always it was amazing. The last song was about to start and Jared was pulling people up on stage. He looked directly me, and crouched down, pointed at me and my group, and said to security, “Them.” I was wearing my mask, I was still holding his sweatshirt, if I got to talk to him after the show I was going to have to return it, I couldn’t keep that.

 After Jared felt that there was enough people on stage, he looked at me again and said, “Wait the fuck a minute, Emma, come here, what is that?”

 I stepped forward, and pulled my mask down, and replied, “What?”

 He walked over and motioned to my mask.

 As I started to reply, Jared leaned in closer, “Oh, its sound activated. Either say something or play something, and then watch the mask.”

 Shannon started a kick drum, and the mask lit up. It was a little muddled, because of the screaming crowd but he got the idea.

 “That is fucking cool!” he said motioning towards the crowd as the camera guy got closer to put it up on the big screens.

 I reached behind my head and undid the Velcro, I handed it to Jared. The crowd started chanting, ‘Wear it!’

 I smiled as I held it out to him. He put his hands on his hips, and smiled. He came closer, and took the mask. I fastened it on the back of his neck, and said, “Just a heads up, if you plan on singing with it on, you will want to check to make sure people can hear you.”

 Jared walked up to the camera that was projecting on the big screen and started talking, it was working, but he pulled it down, it was resting on his neck and lighting up anytime there was noise. The last song was amazing, the crowd was on fire.

 “Thank you, thank you, thank you, Seattle! Good Night!” Jared said and briskly walked off stage, with my mask.

 As we were being funneled off stage, I felt someone grab my arm, as I looked for the owner of the arm, I saw it was the gentlemen from before, he smiled, and funneled our group away from the others. As we walked away we were handed laminated lanyards. I grabbed mine and looked at it closer, “Backstage Access: VIP’

 We wound through the halls of the venue, and finally came upon a door that was marked ’30 Seconds to Mars’ the door was open, we entered. Jared, Shannon, and Tomo were all over the place. Jared saw me, smiled, and motioned for me to come closer. As I got to him, I was holding the jacket still, “Jared, um, is this yours?” I asked timidly. I honestly wasn’t sure I wanted to know if it was.

 He smiled and replied, “No, it’s yours.” I glared at him, “You know what I meant.”

 “Okay, okay. Yes, it was mine, it’s yours now. Did you find the paper?” he asked standing and grabbing my arms.

 “I did. But I never got anything back, who the hell did I text Jared?” I asked quietly.

 He said nothing, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and fiddled with it for a moment and then showed me the screen, there was my text message.

 “Are you fucking kidding me?” I said as I closed my eyes and took a shaky breath.

 “What? I want to make it clear that if you need anything, I am here. No hurting yourself, that’s why I’m giving you my jacket, oh hang on,” he took the jacket, walked into the nearby bathroom and then returned, and handed it back, “smell. Now it smells like me, I’m giving you a lifeline, and my number that way if you need anything you can talk to me.”

 I was stunned, “Jared I can’t accept any of this.” I said looking down. “I appreciate the sentiment but you want to give your jacket and your number to a fan, who has a sob story, how many other echelons have a sad story? Are you going to give them the same treatment? You’ll be naked if you aren’t careful.” I was holding the jacket out to him.

 Jared was silent for a moment and then said, “I’m giving you these items because you have inspired me and others around you. You deserved something more than a picture. You overcame some serious shit. Don’t ever let anyone tell you, your story is like other people. As for the other Echelon, they know I love them, some of you deserve reassurance that we are here for all of you.”

 Tears started coming again, he pulled me into a hug. His right arm was wrapped around my waist, and his left hand was cradling my head. The jacket was wedged between us, my jaw was against his left shoulder, and my arms were wrapped around his waist. He was so calming, maybe even a little intimidating. I closed my eyes and took a breath; the smell of the jacket was the same smell coming off Jared. I opened my eyes, took a half step back, and asked, “Is that smell Gucci Guilty?”

 “Hell yeah, I love that stuff.” He said with a smile.

 “Emma, we gotta go.” Liz said quietly.

 “Seriously, I’m here if you need me.” He said.

 I pulled my phone out, and save the number. “What should I name you? I don’t want people to know it’s you. Is that selfish?” I asked.

 “No.” He replied, and took my phone, entered something and handed it back. “There.”

 I looked at the contact name, ‘J’

 I looked up and we smiled at each other.

 “See you later.” Jared said.

   After we left I grabbed my riding gear out of the SUV and started to get dressed. The jacket Jared gave me was already on, and I was putting my riding jacket over it.

 “Where we headed now?” Liz asked.

 “Well, none of us work tomorrow, how about we go to my place and hang out and share all the pictures. Cause Emma I have a bunch you need to see of you and Jared.” Jessica said.

 “OK!” I replied.

 As we went down the road, I was ahead of the SUV, I had Mars playing in my ears, I was beyond happy. Too bad I didn’t see the Ford F150 truck run the red light and T-bone me.

 All I remember is screeching tires, metal tearing, a lot of pain, then nothing.

 When I woke up, I was lying in a bed, it was warm, I was so thirsty. The lights were so bright. Something was in my mouth and I couldn’t move. My eyes didn’t want to open, I wanted to rub my eyes.

 I started to panic, I couldn’t see and I couldn’t move. I could hear beeping. I moved my fingers, I was holding something. I gripped it and there was a clicking noise. Someone came closer, and started talking, “Well hello, can you open your eyes? I started to shake my head, but that hurt like hell. “Okay, it’s okay, Emma don’t move your head. Your hands are restrained. If I let them loose you have to promise to not pull cords out. I’ve already called the Doctor, he is on his way.”

 After my hands were free I rubbed my eyes and finally open them, it was even brighter. I started to feel my face, that’s when I realized that I had a tube down my throat. I wanted it out. Where was my friends, how long had I been here, the last thing I remember was leaving the Mars concert.

 I was handed a white board and a dry erase pen, I started writing my questions.

 ‘What happened?

Where am I?

Where are my friends?

I want to talk to J.’

 I turned the board, the nurse read, and replied, “You were in a pretty nasty accident, you are at the University of WA hospital in Seattle. Your friends went to get food, who is J?”

 I erased the board, ‘Where is my phone?’

 I showed her, “Your friends have it, I’ll go get them once the Dr. Christian is here.”

 At the point, a male voice rang out, “I’m here, go ahead Kelly. Hello, Ms. Emma. How are you feeling?”

 I wrote on the board, ‘Confused, and in pain.’

 “Yes, you are going to have some confusion, and can you tell me what hurts?” he asked.

 ‘My throat, head, neck, back, and legs. I want this tube thing out.’

 “Yes, do you remember much of the accident? Blink once for yes and twice for no.” he said

 I blinked twice.

 “You were T-boned by a drunk driver, almost a week ago. You had a broken leg, a dislocated right shoulder, and a cracked skull, along with some bumps and bruises. It’s a good thing you were wearing as much as you were it saved your life. As for the pain, I’ll have some pain meds coming, and the tube that has to stay in a little longer, we want to make sure that you are under your own control. If you wake up tomorrow on your own then we can remove it. Ah, and here are your friends.”

 Jessica, Liz, Tim, and James all came busting through the door. “I’ll let you all catch up.” The Dr said, then left.

 I looked at my friends, and waved. They all chuckled. I started writing on my board,

‘Where is my bike?

Where is my phone?’

 I turned it to them, they read it. “I have your phone, here.” Liz said, pulling it out of her purse and setting it on the tray in front of me.

 “You bike was totaled Em. We took pictures, but the insurance agencies are going to get you a new one. The guy that hit you is being sued.” James replied.

 I picked up my phone and opened the messages, clicked on ‘J’

 There was a bunch of messages, my brow was knitted. Liz came closer, “oh, he texted you a day after the show. I messaged him back told him what happened, we are supposed to tell him you are awake. Do you want me to message him?”

 I gave the ASL sign for ‘Yes’

   The next day, the tube was still not out. Apparently, my esophagus was damaged and was still healing. I wasn’t allowed to swallow or talk, which meant the tube stayed. I was resting when I heard movement in the room.

 “No, I don’t wanna wake her. You guys go ahead we are just going to have a seat and wait for her to wake up.” A man said.

 I knew that voice, I inhaled, and opened my eyes as I felt a hand brush my face. There he was on my right side, Jared. I smiled. I probably looked awful. I squeezed my eyes together as tears fell. “Shh, you’re okay.” He said. I looked up there was Shannon on my left. I tried to smile. But more tears came. I was fighting the blanket, I was to hug them. But my hands were pinned again. Jared saw me trying to move, that’s when he and Shannon moved the blanket and saw that I was restrained.

 “What the hell?” Jared looked at me. I moved my hand enough to motion at the tube. That’s when my friends returned. Jared looked over at Jessica and asked, “Why the hell is she restrained?”

 “They are afraid that she is going to pull the tube out.” She replied.

 “I’ll be right back.” Jared said. He squeezed my hand and left, Shannon in his wake.

 I motioned to my board, ‘What the hell are they doing here?’

 Liz and Jessica chuckled. “They were worried.” Jessica replied

 ‘I look like hell. I need a shower. I feel gross. Can I get a washcloth or get a bath or something?’

 Jared and Shannon returned, Jessica took the board and whispered, “I’ll ask the nurse okay?”

 “Ask me what?” Kelly reappeared. Jessica showed her the board. “Ah okay, I’ll be right back.”

 When she returned she had a bucket of supplies. Jessica cleared her throat, “Okay everyone let’s leave them to it.”

 Liz stuck her head through the curtain, and asked, “you decent?” I nodded. Everyone re-entered, Jared and Shannon came in last. Jared looked at me, I smiled slightly, and showed him that my wrists were free. He smiled.

 “Feel better?” Shannon asked.

 I blinked once. “That means yes.” Liz said.

 Jessica handed me my board, ‘Anyone know when I can leave?’

 Jared chuckled, and replied, “One step at a time, let’s get the tube out first.”

    The next morning, I awoke to Jared curled up on my bed with his head on my chest. He smelled amazing and he was so warm. Shannon was in the window. I smiled. As soon as I smiled, I knew something was off. My throat was constricting, my body was trying to cough. I started shifting. Jared and Shannon both woke immediately. “What’s wrong Em?” Jared asked. The machines started going off.

 Kelly came in, “It’s okay, your body is telling us it’s ready to have the tube removed. Just hang on okay, Dr. Christian is on his way.” She was holding my left hand, Jared had my right.

 I was scared, and tears were spilling over. The tape that was around my mouth was starting to pull. Dr. Christian started giving orders before he entered the room. “Mr. Leto and Mr. Leto, can you please wait in the hall?”

 My eyes grew wide, I gripped Jared arm tighter, “No, we aren’t leaving her.” Jared said, and Shannon moved closer and place his hand on my shoulder.

 Fine, but this isn’t going to be pretty. Please put these masks on.” Dr. Christian said, handing them the masks.

 The tube was removed, I could taste blood. My throat felt like it was on fire and my voice was hoarse.

 A week later, there was a problem with my release. I had nowhere to go. I was in a wheelchair and Jared, Shannon, and my mom were discussing options.

 “All of her stuff is already in L.A.” my mother said.

 “Then we will take her down there.” Jared said

 “She can’t be left alone, and she doesn’t know anyone down there.” Mom said.

 “She has me and Shannon, and I never said she was going to her apartment.” Jared said, and looked at me.

 He crouched in front of me, “Emma, you are going to come stay with me okay?”

 “ok.” I said quietly. “I just want to get out of here.”

 “I know. We are going to a hotel and tomorrow we are going to get on a private jet and fly to L.A.” Shannon said, as Jared signed my paperwork.

 My mother, come over to me and asked, “Are you sure you are okay with this? I can talk to your father.”

 I smiled weakly, “This isn’t home anymore Mom. I’ll be safe.”

 She kissed, my forehead as Jared came back over, she looked him dead in the face and said, “You better take amazing care of my daughter. You saved her life once, you better do it again.”

 “I promise.” My mother left.

 Jared was crouching again, “Here, it’s cold outside. He was tucking a hoodie in my lap. I looked down and there were the words ‘Leto Crew’

 I looked up, Shannon was now crouching in front of me too.

 Finally, Jared said, “Let’s go home.”