#hirsch's human bill is just the most funny to me and i think he would look like that

[green199213]

gravity falls gay marriage banned the next 400000000 years (thanks @mossmurder)

[advocatewrites-blog]

Into the Unknown Part 4 Chapter 1

Into the Unknown

Fandom: Undertale, Coraline (book), Over the Garden Wall, Paranorman, Gravity Falls (season 2)

Characters: Frisk, Norman B., Dipper P., Mabel P., Coraline J., Wirt, Greg, the Cat, the Frog; Sans, Toriel, Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, Asgore,; the Other Mother, the Beast, Agatha P., Bill Cipher, Asriel D., Chara D.,

Pairings: Not the focus. Alphys/Undyne, with mentions of Papyrus/Mettaton, sans/Toriel/Asgore, and Wirt/Sara. Due to the nature of Undertale and the dating segments, there is also interpretable Papyrus/Wirt, Undyne/Mabel, Alphys/Dipper, Napstablook/Norman, Mettaton/Norman, Mettaton/Mabel, Sans/Dipper, Sans/Norman, and Sans/Greg.

Rated a high +K for violence, mild language, horrific elements that may be disturbing to younger readers,  mentions of child abuse and bullying, character death that is sometimes permanent, and mentions of suicide that may be triggering. These elements remain relatively unchanged from their source material, which most all are for children, but discretion is advised nonetheless.

Disclaimer: Undertale was created and owned by Toby Fox. Coraline was created by Neil Gaiman and owned by Bloomsbury and Laika. Over the Garden Wall was created by Patrick McHale and owned by Cartoon Network. Paranorman was created by Sam Fell and Chris Butler and owned by Laika. Gravity Falls was created by Alex Hirsch and owned by Disney. Any other work mentioned or homage are property of their respective owners. This is a fan-made, nonprofit work that only seeks to entertain. Please support the original franchises.

“so I’m a sentry in snowdin forest, right? I sit out there and I watch for humans. it’s kind of boring. fortunately, in the forest, there’s this HUGE locked door. and it’s perfect for practicing knock-knock jokes. so one day, I’m knocking ‘em out, like usual. I knock on the door and say ‘knock knock’. and suddenly, from the other side…I hear a woman’s voice.

“‘who is there?’ so, naturally, I respond. ‘dishes.’ ‘dishes who?’ ‘dishes is a very bad joke.’ Then she just howls with laughter. like it’s the best joke she’s heard in a hundred years. so I keep ‘em coming, and she keeps laughing. she’s the best audience I’ve ever had. then, after a dozen of ‘em, SHE knocks and says ‘Knock knock!’ I say, ‘whos there?’ ‘old lady!’ ‘old lady who?’ ‘Oh! I did not know you could yodel!’

“wow. needless to say, this woman was extremely good. we kept telling each other jokes for hours. eventually, I had to leave. Papyrus gets kind of cranky without his bedtime story. but she told me to come by again, and so I did. then I did again. it’s kind of a thing now.”

The human is still listening, eyes wide and mouth full of burg. Its LV is at 5, meaning it’s still definitely a murderer. But it’s hard to remember that after seeing it pass through the puzzles his bro set up with a smile on its face, watch it engage with them. Watch it Spare.

“one day, though, I notice she wasn’t laughing as much. I asked her what was up. then she told me something strange. ‘if a human ever comes through this door…could you please, please promise me something? watch over them, and protect them, will you not?’ now, I hate making promises. and this woman, I don’t even know her name. but, someone who sincerely loves bad jokes…has an integrity you can’t say no to.”

He doesn’t know what he’s thinking. He can’t shake the boat in a meaningful way; everything is on a schedule, and nothing he does changes. But he has to know.

“do you get what I’m saying? That promise I made to her…do you know what would have happened if she hadn’t said anything? buddy…

You’d be dead where you stand.”

He didn’t mean to speak so forcefully; slip out of his font and use the tone he uses when he Judges. But the effect is immediate. The human’s eyes widen in fear and it runs still.

In a way, that’s all the answer he needs.

But then it starts crying. The other occupants of Grillby’s start to look at them, and he squirms under the attention. It raises its hands and starts to move them. It’s crude Hands, not helped by how much it’s trembling. He manages to get most of it.

Didn’t mean—accident—thought she would stop—didn’t know—not me—not myself--

How old was this kid anyway? It’s shorter than he is, and that’s saying something. Their hands shake too much and there are bruises on their legs and under their sweater. Old enough to kill? You don’t commit genocide on accident, but if they were half as upset about it then as they were now…

What did they mean by not myself?

I’ll fix, they sign. I’ll go back and save her. I promise.

*RESET

He sees it that time. The world stops. He watches it move backwards, like someone were rewinding a tape.

sans wakes up in his bed, like he always does. Usually, it takes him a long time to gather up the energy to restart the timeline again. He’ll lie in bed until Papyrus wakes him up and demands he go to work, and sometimes after that. This time, however, he jumps out of bed and makes some corrections to his notebook.

don’t trust them

Four are the Stars An Undertale/Gravity Falls crossover By the Poor Sap Advocate

Chapter 1

“How’d you think we ended up down here?” Dipper asked as he looked around.

“We fell, of course,” said Mabel, who was in the middle of making herself a daisy chain out of the more squished golden flowers. She gestured upwards, where just the faintest glint of blue skies and sunlight could be seen.

“Do you remember falling down somewhere?”

“Nope!”

“I don’t remember Gravity Falls having any mountains big enough for…this,” said Dipper.

He tried thinking back to what happened. He remembered Mabel was planning a party for the reopening of the Mystery Shack, they were hanging out in the gift shop…flashes of red and blue…then nothing.

“And how are these flowers growing, anyway? There’s like no sunlight down here!”

Mabel looked back down at her daisy chain in confusion.

“Do you still have your grappling hook?” Dipper asked. “Maybe we can—”

Mabel was in the air before he could even finish that sentence. She loved using the grappling hook, especially when she had a legitimate reason to use it.

Mabel scaled upward towards the highest ridge of the cliff. She grabbed onto the ridge with one hand, then jumped as she tried to grab the ledge above. Her hand stop on the sky. There was a loud booming noise, as though someone has struck a gong. The sky began to ripple like waves in a lake.

Mabel tumbled back down onto the golden flowers.

“MABEL!”

“What was that?” Mabel said as she sat back up, as though nothing had happened. “It feels like I just ran into a wall.”

Dipper’s mind started racing. There was something at the top of the mountain, something not normal. More Gravity Falls weirdness to investigate.

He took another look at Mabel and the distance she fell, and decided he would investigate it once they were looking down at it again.

“There’s a cave this way,” said Dipper. “We can probably hike our way down from here and see if there’s another entrance that’s not blocked by paranormal entities.”

Mabel pulled herself off the ground and dusted herself off.  “You lead the way, bro!”

She had a new sweater on, a blue and violet striped design with a red heart in the middle. And for some reason, it felt very familiar to Dipper.

Frisk found themselves in the woods once again.

It was not the Unknown again, they put together quickly. It felt too…different. In fact, if it weren’t for the heat and the sun above, they could have thought they had made it back to the forests in Snowdin. It felt like magic was in the air.

Another thing different from the Unknown was how quickly they were able to find humans. And how many there were in one place. The sounds of crowds and traffic were audible within seconds, and they wandered towards its source.

It was hard to describe what they found. It was less of a house and more of a hovel.

“Alright, step right this way! The first tour of the new and improved Mystery Shack!”

The Cat wouldn’t be able to find them for a while. They could kill time, at least. Frisk wandered into the group and hid behind legs.

They were actually surprised that they were found so quickly. The Mystery Man leaned close to them, one eye inspecting them closely.

“Don’t think I didn’t see ya sneak in, kid,” he said. “Your parents in this group?”

They shook their head and shrugged.

“You gonna pay your way in yourself?”

They had to dig through their pockets a bit, but they managed to find a gold coin from the Underground and handed it to him. What shock he had that a child was carrying gold wore off on him quickly. He inspected it carefully, even going so far as to biting on it, before deciding he was satisfied and turned back to them.

“I don’t see too many kids with solid gold on them,” said the Mystery Man.

Frisk responded by giving him another gold coin.

“Good answer! Right this way, kid!”

Dipper took a step, and fell through the floor.

This was about the fourth time he had done that, and frankly it stopped being funny after the second. Mabel propped herself up on the pedestal and waited for him to come back.

“Hey, Froggit, you’re looking good today!” She called.

The Froggit in question gave an embarrassed burble, dropped a few gold coins, and hopped on its way.

“Why do they have so many puzzles leading up to their house?” Dipper asked as he emerged from the vent system.

“Maybe it’s a monster thing,” said Mabel. “Did the journal have anything about a kingdom of monsters?”

“Not that I remember,” said Dipper. “I just wish Grunkle Stan had given the journal back before all this happened.”

He took another step, and fell through.

Mabel took a bite out of the spider doughnut.

“Ew…crunchy…”

Dipper tumbled back upstairs.

“No journal’s gonna make you good at puzzles, bro,” said Mabel.

“The answer’s down there,” said Dipper. “I just can’t remember it all the way. Here’s another question: why would monsters have puzzles that are so easy to solve?”

“Maybe they’re just waiting for a stupid enough human to solve them,”

“They wouldn’t be waiting for human down here.”

“Toriel was.”

“And you trust her?”

“What?” Mabel asked. “She’s a delightful goat mother, how suspicious can you be of her?”

“I’m just saying,” said Dipper. “We’re stuck in the land of monsters, you were literally bounced off a shield preventing us from escaping, I almost got killed by a flower, and there’s this nice old goat woman who wants us to be her children.”

“You’re just being over-suspicious. She’s perfectly fine!”

“There is something I must do,” said Toriel. “Please stay here.”

She put her book down and made a beeline for the staircase. Dipper’s blood ran cold.

“…perfectly fine….” Said Mabel.

“We’re going,” said Dipper, already running to catch up with Toriel.

“That was a pretty cool snail fact though!”

It was hard to describe the Mystery Shack. If Frisk had to, they would say it was not worth the 2G. The decorations were fake; some insulting so, and some just insulting. The real mystery of the mystery shack was how readily everyone bought it.

They exited through the gift shop, fitting considering the rest of the tour, bought a map of the area with what gold they had left, and returned to the woods.

They had hiked through the forest long enough that they were decently hidden when it started to get dark. The Mystery Man may have taken their gold, but it was unlikely that anyone else would.

There was still no sign of the Cat.

Once they found a clearing far enough away that they wouldn’t be spotted, they curled in on themselves and fell asleep.

They were only asleep for about an hour when they woke up to the sounds of the Cat’s low growl.

He stood in front of them, ready to pounce. His eyes were focused on the bush in front of him, so much so that Frisk wondered if he could even see them. When they shifted and waved at him, he jumped into the bushes.

A very human-sounding voice screamed out.

It took Frisk a few tries of trying to grab him and pulling his tail to get the Cat to withdraw from the bush. Something was in its mouth. No...someone.  They were humanoid, barely the length of Frisk’s arm. Most of their hair was tucked under a red cone of a hat.

It was some kind of monster, Frisk realized. A gnome, if they had to guess.

Frisk looked to the Cat disapprovingly. The Cat rolled its eyes, but put the gnome down all the same.

The gnome didn’t respond. It ran past before Frisk could ask it any more questions.

The Cat said something, complaining about the gnomes trying to capture him and ride him into battle, but Frisk was only half paying attention. There was magic in these woods.

Author’s Note: