#hey. i wrote a page of concept notes before i started painting this. with the thought 'i should make a painting about dean :)' ...

[ghostpajamas]

damocles ; sword perspective

uncropped + detail closeups

[sun-flower-children]

Felix’s S/O Painting His Nails

A/N: Hey! Sorry I took so long but yes I can write about painting Felix’s nails. There is a full oneshot written under the cut :))))

- it’s canon that he wear nail polish but I bet he doesn’t really try to maintain it.

- probably started when he was trying to rebel against his father and wanted to do more things to piss him off.

- found that he just really liked it

- I headcanon that he he doesn’t take care of them and will let the polish either chip off or he will grow them out

- Felix is really busy all the time with his research to get you back home, to solve the face thief problem and trying to stay out of the clutches of his father.

- so he will very easily give into you doing his nails.

- He likes you, in the romantic sense, but doesn’t do a lot in terms of dates and a lot of romantic gestures because he’s actually really nervous to slip up inform of you.

- He will let you paint his nails as long as he is allowed to read and continue working while you do so.

- While he is reading and flipping the pages with his left hand, you are holding his right hand in the air with one of your hands, giving your dominant hand more control over the polish as you apply it over his nails.

- while you paint his nails; rub your thumb on his hand, kiss his knuckles, kiss the pads of his fingers, kiss his palm, compliment how soft and pretty his hands are.

- This will most definable cause him to get zero work done but will totally bask in your praise with a blush on his face.

“Hey Felix I’m bored.” you sigh. You have been struggling to read and understand the two same pages for the last few hours. It seemed that no matter how hard you try this magic stuff just won’t work for you.

“Well, dear barista, I am a little busy at the moment so please take your musings else where.” Felix says in a slightly amused tone.

You laid you cheek down on one of the pages that you had given up reading and watched Felix work. The way his brows furrowed when he had to rewrite something or add more notes to a concept or idea. The angry scribbling of his pen and he wrote away. Closing your eyes you listening to the shuffling of papers and Felix’s occasional mumbling.

You have traveled to an alternate dimension where your favorite game is a really tangible place. As much as you loved being in this magical place and being able to interact with new and characters from the previous game, you missed home. The activities and the people that you cared about. Also the internet. Opening your eyes again you looked at Felix. Scanning over his busy form and noticed his hands. More specifically his nails.

“Felix when was the last time you painted your nails?”

He looks up and little confused at the randomness of the question and looks at his nails.

“Well darling, I haven’t exactly had the time to paint them since you arrived. For you have made me so awfully busy.” He smiles and looks at you.

“If you aren’t going to work my dear barista why don’t you go to bed. It is a bit late for you to stay up.” As he says this Felix looks away in hopes that you don’t notice his blush. You still catch the pink on his face but spare his the embarrassment.”

“But darling,” you start,” I want to stay with you. I like being around you.”

This catches Felix off guard as he tilts his book more upward trying to hide his face again.

Before Felix can collect himself to properly respond you tilt his book back downwards and lean closer to him,” Can I paint your nails? I have done it before and you could still read while I paint.”

This seemingly simple request had thrown Felix into a bit of a mental loop. You wanted to take care of him? You wanted to hold him? You wanted to be around him more? You wanted to give him attention? He was totally mentally screaming.  He takes a deep breathe before responding.

“ If you really want to, you can.” He says, trying to keep his tone in check as to not sound super excited. He waves his hand to float his bottle of nail polish over to you. You gently reach out and grab hold of his left hand. As you brought it to yourself you used your thumb to rub his hand gently; musing in the unexpected softness of his hands.

Felix keeps his gaze focused on his book and tries to read but your gentleness and care when painting his nails is causing him to lose focus. He finds himself re-reading the same sentence and hoping that you don’t notice that he isn’t actually reading.

He sneaks a little peek at you and sees how calm but focused you are in painting his nails. You had finally finished the first five and Felix expected you to put his hand down but instead you leaned down and kissed his knuckles. He quickly looked away and tried to look very interested in this book but could feel his face burning.

Gently turning his hand over and pressing soft butterfly kisses into his palm and the little pads of his fingers. Softly rubbing you thumbs across his skin and murmuring barley audible praises for your lovely necromancer. He looks back at you again only for the two of you to make eye contact. Felix was sure that his heart couldn’t take anymore but then you smiled, and that's all it took to make him a blushing stuttering mess before you.

Felix was not getting anymore work done that night.

MASTERLIST

my inbox is still open if you have any thing that you would like me to write :)

[dragonseattofu]

School Days (TWEWY Fanfiction)

Summary

As the gang prepares for the annual school cultural festival, Shiki's not hiding in Eri's shadow anymore, and other people are starting to take notice. At the same time, Neku learns that the line between more than friends yet less than lovers is starting to blur.

Notes:

So to try and somewhat contribute to the very smol neshiki twewy fandom, I wrote this self-indulgent piece. It might come off as OOC, but at the end of the day I hope it’s enjoyable to at least one person out there (even if that’s just me). Dedicated to @altorav​ and @trashcan-of-a, in their efforts to show the world how wholesome neshiki is, you’ve inspired me. I hope you like it! (Plus we needed some fluff post episode 3 angst).

Preview:

It was that time of year again, the annual school cultural festival. A time of ostentatious costumes, overly enthusiastic maid/butler cafe hosts/hostesses, and even more unnecessary social interactions that Neku would rather just avoid school all together.

What a drag, the teen thought as he drowned out his classmate’s debate on what theme they should do.

Looking at the window from his seat, Neku was grateful he listened to his mother this morning and grabbed an umbrella. The cumulus clouds hung low, their edges tinged grey.

“Okay everyone, that’s it for today. Make sure to sign up for your roles before the end of the day!”

Pulled out of his reverie by chairs scratching against the worn linoleum and erupting chatter, Neku stood up from his seat and walked over to the bespeckled girl two rows down.

“You weren’t paying attention, were you?” The petite girl asked before he even got out his greeting.

He picked at one of his spiked out strands of hair, “is it that obvious? Festivals are such a bore.”

“They are not! And this year we have Beat and Eri to celebrate it with. Even Rhyme’s coming! It’s going to be fun!” She was really enthusiastic about this, and not the false happiness she tried to pull during their time in the Reaper’s Game, but genuine excitement. He couldn’t help but mirror her smile.

“Yeah well, what are we even doing?” He turned his attention to the board and shuttered.

“Seriously? A play … Cinderella? Cliche much? Yep, this is going to be torture.”

“Oh come on, it’s not going to be that bad! Eri and I are going to be in charge of costumes, you could help us—“

“Hey Sakuraba!” Yuji shouted from the front of the classroom, “thanks for signing up for props and set, man! We’ll have a meeting after classes in the auditorium at 3!”

Neku looked at the class president as if he had sprouted reaper wings, “what the?”

“You signed up for set-up?” Shiki asked him, getting up with her books and supplies all gathered neatly in her bag.

“Hell no, who signed me up?”

“I did.” A streak of pink wandered over to the pair. Before the young boy could protest the predicament she put him in, the girl placed her arm around Shiki’s shoulders protectively.

“I found some of your sketches in Shiki’s notebook and I figured you’d be really good at making the sets. Plus, this way you can walk Shiki home after school when it gets late. Kill two birds with one stone, right? Eri ended her explanation with a wink, much to Neku’s chagrin.

Just as quickly as Eri appeared, in a blink she was gone, yelling over her shoulder, “see you later guys! Shiki, let’s get started on the costume designs after school today!”

“Come back here Pinkie!” The boy hissed at her retreating shadow.

Shiki laughed at their antics. She grasped Neku’s fist he was shaking at her best friend gently and smiled at him before repeating, “hey, it’ll be fun, okay?”

A slight pause and resigned sigh were her only responses.

“This never reaches my mother’s ears. I’ll never hear the end of it.” He threatens, knowing full well that Shiki and his mother had each other's numbers saved as favorites.

~~~~~

Reluctantly, Neku made his way to the auditorium after school. To his surprise, he learned that the play was going to be a parody of sorts, a “Cinderella in Shibuya�� story. The sets would be modeled after iconic spots in their neighborhood, one of which would be inspired by CAT’s mural in Udagawa! Even though Neku was still sulking in his seat for having to stay after school, he didn’t hate the concept.

“So gang, we’ll need a couple of supplies to start with constructing the sets and painting them.” Yuji started speaking as he walked up the steps leading to the stage.

“Takeda-sensei mentioned that we have some spray paints left over that we could use to save on budget.” Taking a seat at the edge of the stage, the class president looked into the crowd of faces and asked, “Has anyone used spray paints before?”

The answer was quite clear from the deafening silence. Neku could just sit quietly in his seat, admire the ugly clock above the stage, ticking away at the wasted minutes he could be spending with his friends if he wasn’t stuck here…

Or he could take a page out of Mr. H’s book and expand his world. Push his horizons out as far as they'll go. If Shiki was trying to overcome her insecurities and expand her world beyond Eri’s, then maybe he should too. Plus, he could use the practice.

“... I have,” Neku hesitantly muttered, not used to voluntarily bringing attention to himself. The room suddenly felt ten degrees warmer as all the eyes in the auditorium turned to him.

Yuji’s surprised expression was replaced with a huge grin, “Sweet man, thanks for volunteering! You good with the Udagawa set? It’s the only one that would look wild spray painted.”

Like he needed to ask, “yeah.”

“Cool!” Yuji said, “now let’s move on to the Hachiko set. Anyone good with sculpting?”

The remainder of the meeting was spent dividing up the work. They’d start assembling the sets tomorrow, and painting would start in a couple of weeks depending on how long it took to build everything. Satisfied that he could finally go home and relax, Neku sauntered out of the auditorium, flipping open his phone to see if he had any messages. None from Shiki, huh, I wonder if she went home already?

He didn’t get a chance to dwell on why he thought of Shiki just now because he spotted the girl in question sitting outside under one of the awnings at the main entrance.

“What are you still doing here?” Neku asked, slowly approaching the brunette. Shiki turned to the sound of her name, recognition dawning in her eyes and she waved at him.

“Eri forgot she had a doctor’s appointment today, so she had to leave right after classes. I had to stay late with Mina and Ai for the costume supply list, and I wasn’t sure if you had left already.” Shiki looked up at the sky, watching the rain fall around the bench she was sitting on. “I’m waiting for the storm to let up before heading home.”

He had to stop himself from admiring her, she looked stunning surrounded by the falling rain, the setting sun reflecting off of the droplets that shimmered like jewels falling from the sky around her.

“You forgot your umbrella didn’t you?” He asked, seeing her flinch at the accusation confirmed his suspicions. With a sheepish smile, she nodded.

Neku pulled out the folded umbrella from his knapsack and opened it up, leaving room on his left. “Let’s go?”

“Yeah,” she replied, getting up to join her companion as the sounds of two pairs of footsteps splashing in a nearby puddle reverberated off the school buildings.

After a couple of blocks of comfortable silence, Shiki asked, “So how did your meeting go?”

He adjusted the umbrella before muttering, “Boring.”

“Oh.” Shiki wasn’t entirely surprised. The festival seemed like more of a nuisance to him.

“... The play’s going to be a parody in Shibuya?”

“Yeah! Isn’t it interesting? Eri and I decided to do a fusion of victorian punk for the costumes!” Neku could practically see the stars shining in her eyes, “fairytale gold with midnight navy, flowing dresses with chains and netting! It’s going to look awesome —“

So enthusiastic about the creations in her mind, Shiki didn’t see that she stepped into the bicycle lane beside her, with a cyclist approaching at an alarming speed. Neku tossed the umbrella from his left hand to his right and grabbed Shiki’s shoulder from behind, pulling her into his chest in one swift motion. Not a second later did the wind pick up next to the two teens, the bicyclist flipping the middle finger as he passed them.

“Watch where you’re going!” Neku shouted.

“You watch it kid!”

As his senses started the return to normal from the brush of danger, Neku asked Shiki if she was alright. He didn’t move away from her, only bringing the umbrella over to shield the rain that started to drip on his hand holding her shoulder. The rhythmic pattering of droplets hitting the umbrella slowed her heartbeat enough to reply.

“Yeah, a little shaken though. Thanks for the save,” Shiki said, their eyes meeting. The proximity of their faces caused their already flushed cheeks to redden a deeper hue, both quickly turning away in embarrassment. Shiki reluctantly removed her hands from his chest, and with a little hesitation, Neku released his hold on her.

Confined to the edges of his seemingly small umbrella, Neku cleared his throat and offered the girl his arm, “I-I think you should hold on to me, you know, in case I need to save you again.”

This time she pouted, “I saved you a couple of times too, you know,” Shiki commented, her nose held high defiantly. Without hesitation, she accepted the arm that extended out to her, cheeks dusted pink from frustration because he was teasing her, and that she was holding onto the person she may or may not have feelings for. With their arms now linked, the two continued their walk home as the rain started to get heavier.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’ll be sure to thank Piggy when I see him next time.”

“Ugh, gosh Neku, Mr. Mew is a cat!” She pulled the black stuffed animal out of her bag and shoved him in the boy’s face for good measure.

“Hey there Piggy, thanks for saving me back in the UG. Think you can save me from your master’s death glare?” Neku chuckled while guiding Shiki across the street. She was getting more annoyed with him by the second, but he couldn’t help himself. As they waited for the crossing signal to change, Neku took the time to admire the way she crinkles her nose when she’s arguing with him, and how she tightens her grip on his arm when they can proceed across the street. He’s staring too long at her, he realizes and he blushes because may or may not have feelings for her.

They were dancing around where they stood with each other for months now. Definitely more than friends, but a little less than lovers. Neku couldn’t deny that if he ever would be with someone, it would be Shiki, but they were both still learning how to be themselves. That was more important than being branded as something they weren’t yet ready for just to satisfy other people. Shiki was important to Neku, and vice versa because they were partners, and if anything was going to happen beyond that, would just happen on its own. Right now, Neku enjoyed having Shiki this close to him, talking about what the next couple of weeks would be like as they walked home together, and that was good enough for him.

~~~~~

A couple of days had passed since the shared umbrella incident, and yet again, Neku found himself staying after school, moving one of the newly constructed sets into the west wing of the auditorium. It wouldn’t be long before he could take the massive blank mural outside and start spray painting the design he had been ruminating on. With the last of the sets neatly tucked away, Neku silently nodded at Yuji to signal his leave, before picking up his things and heading out. The fluorescent “20:35” shined on his phone as he tapped it to life, lighting up the shadowed hallway as he walked further into the school.

Neku heard her voice on his way to the classroom. He knew she was probably still working, oftentimes the last person in her group to leave, but what surprised him was the presence of another, more masculine voice in response to her quiry.

“Most people don’t know about that collection, it sold out within a couple of hours after release.”

“Wow, did you manage to get anything? Oh, lift your neck a little higher.”

“Sure thing.” There was a pause and Neku took the opportunity to peer into the classroom through the silt in the door. He could see Shiki standing on a stool, intently working on the collar of their classmate’s costume. The voice belonged to Hiroshi Minaru. He was casted as the prince in their festival play, and it looked like most of his costume was complete, sans a couple details Neku knew Shiki would never overlook. She was so deep in thought that her face was barely inches from the boy’s neck. “It was a bloodbath at 5 in the morning, but I grabbed the limited edition mint polo before this other dude and I thought I was going to die!”

Neku heard Shiki giggle, and he subconsciously clenched his fists. He felt like he shouldn’t be there, eavesdropping on her. With another guy… She’s clearly still busy, and it’s not like they had planned to leave together. He debated whether he should just go, make up an excuse as to why he didn’t wait. He felt uncomfortable, and he didn’t know why.

“All done! How does it feel, too constricting?”

“No, It’s perfect Misaki-chan, you’re so amazing with a needle and thread! You really have a talent for sewing.”

“Thanks,” she said bashfully, “now, give me a good turn!”

The boy took a step back and spun around, his cape flowing around him, “how do I look?” He put his hand to his chin, and smirked at her with a lifted brow.

“Like a dashing prince charming.” Shiki replied with a friendly smile, the ones Neku had seen time and time again.

“I’m really glad we got to work together like this for the festival, it’s nice to talk to someone about fashion with an eye for clothes making.”

“Yeah, me too. Most of the time it’s just Eri and I…” Shiki looked down, steadying herself to step down from the stool. Hiroshi offered her a hand, which she gladly took.

“M-Maybe ... sometime I could show you some photos of my Mus Rattus collection?” Hiroshi said, looking up at her from below, their faces mere centimeters away.

The pair made eye contact and the next thing Neku knew, he saw her pitch forward.

“Misaki-chan!” “Shiki!”

Thankfully, she landed on her feet, still holding Hiroshi’s hand. Both heads turned to the door that was forcibly ripped open, leaving the orange haired teen standing alone, concern written on his face.

“Shiki, are you okay?” Neku asked, walking toward the pair. He saw her slide her hand out of Hiroshi’s as she redirected her attention to him.

“Yeah, a little shaken but I’m alright.” She turned to Hiroshi, “Thanks for catching my fall Hiroshi-kun.”

“No problem Misaki-chan. You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she beamed at Neku, “while you’re here, what do you think?” She asked, gesturing toward Hiroshi, to which their classmate posed with a smile.

After a second or two, “I think I see a button loose.”

“WHAT, where?!” She scurried to Hiroshi, who stiffened at the sudden scrutiny.

“...made you look…”

“Neku, jeez!” Shiki puffed her cheeks. He just smiled as she attacked him with a series of punches to the arm.

Clearing his throat, Hiroshi excused himself. It was quite late already, and he felt like he was intruding on what seemed to be a private moment.

“See you later, Misaki-chan, Sakuraba-kun.”

A comfortable silence soon fell upon them. Shiki moved to gather her belongings, tidying up her projects neatly to be continued tomorrow.

“Let’s go?” She asked, holding her bag behind her back.

He nodded as she walked out of the classroom, shutting the light, and closing the door behind them.

~~~~~

The evening air whistled in his ear, a chill nipping at his nose. The weather was getting colder, the days shorter, and staying in school longer for the festival meant commuting home when the sun was either gone or disappearing beyond the horizon. He pulled his scarf tighter around his neck in a feeble attempt to fight the shivers moving up his spine. He looked at Shiki to see how she was fairing.

He saw that her cheeks were pink, from the cold or something else he didn’t know. He moved to look at her eyes, surprised when his eyes locked onto hers. Shortly after both teens looked away in different directions, a little more flushed than before.

“So Hiroshi-kun’s costume is coming together really well. The gold accents Eri wanted really worked out better than I imagined,” Shiki said.

“That’s because you brought it to life.”

Shiki looked at him with wide eyes. Neku’s always been blunt to a “T,” never sugarcoating his thoughts regardless if they were well-received or not. When he says things like this, Shiki can’t help but feel elated. He believed in her and her abilities, it was just a simple truth.

“Thanks Neku.”

She heard a muffled mhmm from his scarf.

A couple steps later, “... what were you and Hiroshi talking about?”

She gave him a thoughtful look. “Hiroshi-kun is really into Mus Rattus’ recent fall collection. Some of the pieces had some pretty neat fabrics and we started talking about textiles and fashion. I didn’t know there would be someone else that liked fashion as much as Eri and I.”

Neku grunted a reply. Realizing that he was a few steps ahead of her, Shiki quickened her pace to match his.

“Is something … bothering you?” Shiki questioned the boy, subconsciously giving him the doe-eyed look he found both irritating and endearing.

Neku felt agitated; more so frustrated because he didn’t exactly know why he was agitated. Flashbacks from that rainy day came to mind, Shiki holding onto his arm under a shared umbrella, walking home side by side, more closely than before. The memories made him feel warm and excited. Then he remembered the princely-dressed Hiroshi holding Shiki’s hand as if she was his princess he had come to rescue, and he grunted in displeasure. He came to a stop, trying to sort out his emotions. It showed on his face enough for Shiki to raise an eyebrow in concern.

“Let me in,” Shiki said quietly, “trust me?” She placed a hand on his arm delicately.

It’s not that he didn’t trust her, it was more like he didn’t trust what would come out of his mouth coherently. He looked at her hands, and with great care, took her hands into his own, slightly larger ones.

“I … ugh … want to … hold your hands.” Neku mummered, so low and into his scarf she barely caught it. But after a couple of months of getting to know her partner, she knew how to really listen when he verbally or wordlessly communicated something.

Not exactly sure where this was coming from, Shiki just replied with the first thing that came to mind, “I want to hold your hands too,” she said with a soft smile.

That was a good sign, right? Neku was nervous, but an excited kind of nervous. They were going into a very delicate topic, one that they had been carefully tiptoeing around since they came back to the RG. He didn’t know if he was ready to take the next steps, but now’s a better time than never he reasoned. He slowly realized that he didn’t want to wait any longer.

“Can we talk about…this, us?” He said, looking down at their joined hands, giving hers a light squeeze.

A pregnant pause ascended, and Neku didn’t realize he was holding this breath before he heard her speak.

“Well, I like hanging out with you, being with just you.” She closed her eyes in thought, “and I like when you walk me home.” She gestured to their hands, “this is nice too, I would like to do this more often.”

Shiki opened one eye to gauge her companion’s reaction and took a leap of faith, “I guess I’ve kind of had feelings for you for a while now, since the first time you saw me in the RG, the real me. I was super embarrassed when you told me that I was prettier than Eri. I thought you were just trying to cheer me up so that Beat and Rhyme wouldn't worry, but then I remembered that you don’t say needless things, that you really believed it, so I started to believe it too.”

Looking him straight in the eyes, Shiki continued, “I like the way you make me feel, like I’m a better person than I think I am, and I want to be the person that you see in me…”

He still hadn’t uttered a word, slowly processing what he was hoping wasn’t a dream. His silence continued and Shiki was beginning to lose her nerve, “and you should say something now because this is super embarrassing with you just looking at me like that!” Gosh, she wanted to pry her hands away so she can bury her face in them!

So the feeling was mutual all along, Neku thought, and he couldn’t stop the goofiest smile that emerged on his face.

“Well … you were my entry fee,” he replied, trying to look everywhere but her. Neku had told Shiki and the gang about his three week experience immediately after they returned to the RG. He was so apologetic for dragging her back into the game again that he didn’t see her embarrassment about what being his entry fee really meant. If he didn’t want to dwell on it, neither would she. However his comment had greater weight now, and she blushed knowing what he was implying, but she still wasn’t satisfied.

“Geez, I just gave you a whole monologue! I want something more than that. Say it!”

“Alright, alright, geez stalker don’t get your undies in a bunch,” he chuckled, and with a little bit more confidence said, “Shiki, I like you too.”

It felt like a veil had lifted, like the metaphoric waltz they were dancing finally concluded and they just stood there, hand in hand. Neku swore he heard music in his ears, the Shibuya’s metropolitan sounds harmonizing with Shiki’s melody into a rhapsody only he could hear. One day he would tell her about it, her song that was playing in his mind when she told him that she liked him. But for today he would just burn her smile into his memory, the smile she had when he told her that he liked her.

Neku didn’t know what the near future would hold, neither of them doing well under the pressure of their friends that had been right about them this whole time, but he wanted to do this right, and take it slow. For now, all he just wanted was to be with her, and hold her hand a little longer.

“Let’s take the long way home, through the park?” Neku suggested, bringing her knuckles to his lips.

“Y-yeah.” She stuttered as he boldly gave them a chaste kiss.

So into their own world, hands laced together, setting a different course home, did the young couple not realize the chuckle in the wind at the bet he just won on who would confess first.

[writings-of-dumpy]

Bloodshot - Stiles Song Imagine

A/N: I love Dove Cameron, mmkay? So yeah. Here’s this 2k pile of blah.

Being friends with Stiles was so easy, right from the first day you met in kindergarten and ever since, your friendship with Stiles was a constant and wonderful thing. As you got older, things changed as they often do. You started to notice butterflies in your stomach and a small ache in your chest when he was around. You couldn’t explain it away, so you chose to ignore it. Stiles was easily your best friend and the person you go to the most with all of your problems or anxieties, and you were his go-to when he was going through a rough time. You were the first to know about Scott’s new lycanthropy as Stiles had called you to come over and help him research the topic. When you asked why, Stiles told you everything—his fears, his hopes for a cure, and his worry for the guy he considered a brother. You calmed him down and assured him that everything would be fine, and hugged him close as you often had. Butterflies and a twinging sensation spread throughout your whole body at how close he was. It had never happened before and the two of you had embraced plenty of times. And now you know why—you were in love with him.

You had fallen deeply for Stiles, but had done nothing to act on those feelings because you didn’t want to admit that they were real. When he and Malia had shown that they were together, your heart sank to the depths of the Earth. The moment they kissed at a get-together Lydia was throwing had served to both confirm your feelings and make you painfully aware of them. You felt sick, embarrassed and hurt all at once and excused yourself from the room with Lydia close behind.

“Hey, are you okay?” she asked you.

“Um, yeah, I’m fine. I just needed some fresh air… it’s a little stuffy in the basement,” you said with a laugh.

“Oh, okay… Well come back in when you’re ready,” Lydia said with a small smile and a comforting pat on the arm.

You took a deep breath and gathered yourself back together and went back inside before anyone else would notice your absence.

Stiles had been dating Malia for a while now, and things seemed to be sticking. You were happy for them, honestly, because Stiles was happy. They were a good match, you thought. Malia needed someone down-to-earth enough to help her with daily life, but also someone who understood her unique situation, and the perfect person for the job was Stiles. Stiles enjoyed being with her, too. He often told you about something she did that day that he found endearing or something similar he found in her that he knows in himself, most notably the color coding. You smiled and cheered him on and hoped for his happiness, even if it meant you weren’t in the picture the way you wanted.

One day you were walking in the halls and you heard Kira call your name from behind you. You turned around and saw the hallway was empty except for her and you. The lights flickered slightly and shone on the tile floors in different shades of yellow.

Yellow? I thought the floor was blue. I guess they painted it… you thought.

Kira walked toward you and you could swear her footsteps changed the color of the lights to varying degrees of purple and green. It was a beautiful sight, and you felt yourself smile at her neat trick.

“Are you alright..?” Kira asked gently. “You’re supposed to be in physics with us, remember?”

You looked at her quizzically. “Physics..? Oh! Oh, right…”

Kira’s brow furrowed and she walked you back to class and you sat in your seat next to Lydia. You didn’t pay attention to the snide comment your teacher undoubtedly made (seriously, why are all of the teachers total dicks at this school? How have they not been fired yet?) and opened your book.

“Um, it’s upside down,” Lydia whispered. You looked at the book then turned it to where you thought was right-side up. The words on the page were blurry and your eyes burned even more when you looked at them. After a few minutes, Lydia passed you a note. You could barely read it as it seemed to have been written on a blue sheet of paper that shone in your eyes. It was a beautiful and foreign color, but not quite good for reading off of. You managed to make out the small message: “Are you okay?!”

You wrote back: “Maybe a little tired.”

It was true—you were exhausted. You hadn’t slept in nearly seven days and you had done your best to try and act normal, but your attempts had clearly been failing today. You dreaded the thought that you’ll soon fall asleep whether you wanted to or not because all you could dream about was Stiles. There were good dreams and bad ones, but they both left you with an ache in your chest when you woke up, so you elected to not sleep for as long as you could.

“Hey, you don’t look so good… Maybe you should go home and sleep?” Lydia suggested after the class had ended.

“Hm, maybe,” you said and started to walk with them out of the building.

“Hey, guys!” you heard Stiles say from beside the three of you in the hallway. He and Malia were walking side by side as they approached your group. You weren’t sure if you were dreaming or not, but decided to play it cool anyway.

“We were thinking about going bowling tonight. Wanna come?” Malia asked. You felt like you were on fire and a black hole had taken up residence in your chest, and you were so fatigued and exhausted that nothing looked real, so you assumed it must be a dream. Why else would the sky be a dull peach color? But you knew you’d eventually wake up, so you nodded your head and smiled.

“Are you alright..?” Stiles asked you.

“I’m fantastic, Stiles Stilinski,” you declared with a grin and walked away.

“I think she’s losing her mind,” Lydia commented with a sigh. You chuckled to yourself and thought that she was probably right.

You managed to walk home and realize that you weren’t dreaming, which was a relief. You didn’t want to wake up with a pain in your heart and tears to follow. What you should do was go to bed, but you couldn’t stand the thought of a dream so lovely it broke your heart, so you decided to push forward until your body didn’t give you the option anymore.

A few hours passed and the line between dreams and reality began to blur. You felt your phone vibrate periodically but couldn’t quite make it to answer. You felt completely out of your head; it was like nothing could hurt you because you weren’t real. You could hear white noise in your head and your ears rang off and on, but you weren’t paying it any mind. You lost track of all time and before you knew it, the sky was black and full of gold and white stars. You looked out the window at them and saw them dance and form shapes that you never thought possible.

You were pulled from your trance by a knocking at your door that seemed to come from miles away. Reality seemed like a distant concept and you felt it only polite to allow the hallucination to continue. You opened your door that looked like it had been warped (maybe by the yellow dancing stars?) and saw a sight that both devastated and elated you.

“Oh, hello there, Stiles,” you said. He was surrounded by stars of all shapes and colors and you had to focus hard to see him in front of you. His expression was one of deep concern and he spoke slowly.

“Hey… are you okay?” he said lowly. You smiled sadly and let what you assumed to be a dream inside. Even though you knew it was all in your head, any time with Stiles is time you cherished.

“I’m peachy,” you replied once he was inside.

“Why didn’t you come to bowling with us? And why didn’t you answer your phone?” he asked in quick succession.

You felt your mouth open, but nothing came out. You repeated the movement a few times and Stiles’ expression grew even more concerned.

“Y/N, how much sleep have you had?” he asked. You shrugged and sat down, but didn’t quite make it to the couch, so you fell onto the floor.

“Fitting,” you chuckled to yourself with your face against the carpet.

You felt Stiles pick you up and he placed you on the couch. You felt dizzy and your vision was starting to blur again, so you rubbed your eyes vigorously.

“Y/N, why aren’t you sleeping enough..?” Stiles asked again. You pulled your hands away from your eyes and were satisfied to see that your vision had cleared and so had most of the floaties. Your head was still hazy, so you figured this must still be a dream. You looked at his eyes and he frowned. “Your eyes are so bloodshot, bug…”

Your heart pounded at the pet name he often used for you, and you smiled slightly, then said, “Well I suppose this is better than staring at the fan all night waiting until morning.”

“How long has that been going on..?” Stiles asked. His hand gently rubbed your arm and you felt like you were going to break down in front of him, but held strong. You could cry when you woke up, but not in the dream.

“Like a week, bro,” you mused with a smile.

Stiles shook his head in disbelief. “Why?”

“It’s harder to see you’re not mine with my bloodshot eyes,” you professed.

Stiles sat there for a moment with a blank stare and you hoped to wake up very soon. Stiles let out a breath and pulled your face to his, then kissed your lips with a ferocity that mimicked the fire you felt when he was around. You smiled and kissed him back and thanked whoever was looking out for you for this dream feeling so real.

“Come on, you need sleep, darling,” Stiles said after the two of you separated and scooped you into his arms.

“I don’t want to wake up,” you mumbled to yourself and felt your vision fade to black.

You woke up to your hair being gently petted and the smell of a familiar cologne that you couldn’t mistake. You looked up and sure enough, Stiles’ soft eyes met yours.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty… Well, afternoon,” he said with a small chuckle.

“How did you get here..?” you asked after propping yourself up off of his chest.

Stiles’ hand gently smoothed a piece of hair from your face and he held your cheek gently. “When you weren’t picking up your phone, I got worried, so I came over… And then you fell asleep on the way to your room.”

“And you stayed..?” you asked with a raised brow.

“Of course I did. Especially after… well, how bold I was,” Stiles said and shifted to sit up more and face you.

Your eyes went wide and your heart pounded in your ears. “That was real..?”

Stiles smiled sheepishly and nodded. “I hope you’re not mad… I just hated how sad you looked and I had to let you know that I am yours.”

You felt as though your insides sunk you your feet at his words. Not only were you embarrassed at the exhaustion-induced confession but also confused and hopeful about Stiles’ feelings towards you.

“What do you mean?” you asked him cautiously. “You’re with Malia.”

Stiles nodded slightly. “Right… We broke up. It was like a week ago, and I didn’t tell anyone because I guess I wasn’t that upset by it. When I saw you last night I realized… I realized that it’s always been you. You’re the one I’ve been wanting all this time.”

You felt your eyes well up with tears and it took everything to keep them from flowing down your cheeks. You looked at him and smiled softly. “I want you too.”

Stiles smiled and pulled you against him in a warm hug. You wrapped your arms around him and let out a breath as you felt everything fall into place.

[sartanator3001]

hey , so .... i wrote something recently , it’s about 15000 words but you don’t have to read all of it , just read this

Title : shared consciousness

genre : sci-fi , dystopian

enjoy :)

chapter 1

------ Chapter 1 (Jeff)“They told me life would soon be in full colors …… that I would soon be capable of actually feeling what the world is like, They made me in a way that I would be able to express myself , I am aware of my existence , I recently passed the turing test .which is Something no one of my kind has ever done.But even though I am sentient , and I can do most of the physical human tasks, there’s still so much I can’t do. So much feelings i can’t experience *happiness ,amazementAnd even the so-called (negative) emotions*sadness, frustrationI never understood what negative emotions are , emotions in general weren’t exactly something that anybody could explain , I listened to dozens of people talk about emotions such as love , admiration and such complex emotions I watched a lot of movies that feature actors displaying acts of affection and sympathy , but I still couldn’t contemplate it .Negative usually meant a value below zero such as negative temperatures : which meant I will stay indoors all day in order not to damage my processing unit , (some humans would call it their brain , but I prefer the word processing unit , more descriptive)I still have some forms of primitive feelings though , I have loyalty towards my mother ,  i can’t really say I love her … most people can’t say they (love) someone , because love has so many definitions , I still don’t want anything bad to happen to her , but that’s pre-programmed into me . As for pure, unconditional love for another human being is something I never experienced.Not to say I hate humans, I find them quite inspiring and interesting and most of the times unpredictable.There’s a reason for that, a reason for why I can’t contemplate most of the feelings others have towards each other.And that’s not because my brain can’t handle them , It’s called qualia , and that basically means the inability to understand a concept or a feeling without actually experiencing it first-hand . Which is why I never knew what pain is like , because I don’t have any nerve receptors for pain . I am mostly indestructible, except for my eyes. The other older generation which had pain receptors describe it to me in descriptive details, but I still don’t understand it . And I never will.I turn 18 solar years today, my mom is not going to arrange a party for me and my friends, I asked her not to do it , I don’t deserve it.”I wrote in my diary, as my mom told me to.I am not connected to a database like others , I learn from my own sole experiences and from stories I hear from other people .I read about the last person of my kind that was connected to a database , he couldn’t handle all the data , he collapsed and his last words were quite interesting .He said that “humans should be grateful they don’t know everything.”I headed to the bathroom and did my daily hygiene, for a while I stared at the mirror, analyzing my facial structure, blonde hair, blue eyes with slightly bony cheeks , luckily my synthetic skin wasn’t damaged, I headed towards the kitchen and made breakfast for both of us and consumed mine, I put my mother’s plate under the Nano cover tray and set the alarm to forty minutes so it wakes her up.9 am is about the time she goes to work, by then I would be in the middle of my design history class.I tuck my glass slit inside the backpack and head outside and walk outside thirty seconds earlier than the usual, my sleeping schedule is moody since I have to finish so much work for my final project. (and by sleep I mean the time I take off so I can cool down my processor from dealing with so much data , which is about 30 minutes a day.)While I wait for the bus I look around me , the trees are quite a delight to look at, processing the golden ratio in leaves and seeing how a living thing can be so peaceful and mathematically astonishing, I can sense the carbon based chemicals produced by the trees in the garden’s air around me, according to my past experiences they are known to relieve stress and increase mental stability, they help me process things with much more clarity and less bugs.The bus showed up thirty seconds late, which is more than the usual.It’s peculiar, it was an actual living carbon based bird. And not one of those drones that were made to replace them in the ecosystem , the only time I had seen a bird was in the textbooks of my history class , but now they’re almost extinct . Some conspiracy theorists said that birds never existed and we made them to spy on people.I got aboard , the bus is completely empty , I press my wrists against the scanner to confirm the bus ticket card , i headed to the seat closest to the window and started revising my notes using my smart lensesBy the time we got close to city center the bus was nearly full of people . the bus stopped for a longer amount of time in front of the last station before the hyper-loop we then entered the vacuum exchange station for three minutes in order to get the bus to get into the hyper-loop.The hyper-loop is painted from the inside with multi-color gradient , and as it reached the 200 mph limit the full color spectrum becomes your field of view.It only took a minute until we reached the other side of the tunnel and into city center , I get out and start walking towards my university building ,The city was still majestic , I helped design a part of it , it was an interesting experience seeing how much humans were amazed by my architectural style .The city is both colorful and industrial , boxy shaped  with hyper loop tubes going on in a shape similar to a spider web to facilitate transport.The sun rays reflected on the glass dome filling my field of vision with golden light , which sounds majestic until you remember that I can only see shades of grey and that’s just boring.The 8 pm class was due in 15 minutes , which meant I had a few minutes to waste on socializing so I headed towards a group of my friends that were standing near the entrance door.-“hey , Jeff come here.” Said dong one of my friends ,(Well , I really did some research and Dong isn’t one of the common names actually but here we are.)-“hey dong , how are you doing ?”So pretty much everyone in my college is either so focused on getting a degree with honors that they forget to grab friends and live a normal life .Or are just so much focused on socializing and making friends and organizing events that they forget to prep themselves for final and flunk .And then there’s me …. (The avatar) as they call me .(I did some research and it turns out they are referencing this very old animated show “avatar the last air-bender, can you believe humans had to draw and color animations by themselves ?)I do both , and I don’t see how most humans aren’t able to do so , you only have to manage your time table .-“So , what did the avatar do for the assignment?” asked Jim with quite a dark sarcastic tone.-“nothing much , I only did about forty pages .” I replied.-“have you seen our new recruit?” asked dong , while raising a brow , which is supposed to be a sign of indicating some inside joke( humans are weird , why not just say what you mean … probably that’s why most of them are bad at math.)-“what’s his name ?” I asked-“Emily , she is in most of our classes , her portfolio had the highest degree in the entry test.” Dong said while pointing to the girl as she was walking towards the huge glass dome.She was fairly brown , her curly hair flowing onto her face , her eyes were focused and her smile was confident ,-“guess you have a competition now ..” Jim said , sounding even more sarcastic .-“what was her score ?” I asked while analyzing her physical characteristics , she was fairly a 7.8/10 , which is fine for her , her artistic skills had to have been extraordinary in order for her to get that degree.But yet , there were many just like her ….That was always the turn off , if there’s an infinite amount of sample space slight advantage doesn’t define the quality of a person .(infinity minus 1 is still infinity after all)As a friendly gesture I tried approaching her to show her the place , I couldn’t help it , it was a part of my legacy code.“ Hey Emily  , I am Jeff . Welcome to our college may I show you around” I said . the girl looked curious and started walking circles around me checking me out.-“hmm … so are you pre-programmed ? Hansen ? intel ?”She asked-“excuse me ……” I said felling quite uncomf…(wait a minute , am I actually feeling a negative emotion? I am a robot , I can’t feel offended.)-“ha , I am just kidding , this is a gag I perform in order to find out which ones are robots and which of them are carbon based” she said while giving me a mocking smile .-“I am actually a robot , only I am the closest you’ll ever meet to a human . I am self aware , as they describe me .”I said .-“wait a minute , you’re Jeff ? .. the Jeff ? with the second highest score in the entry test?” she asked , with her eyes showing a slight sassiness when saying “second”,-“you’re a ROBOT ?...” she asked .-“well , unless you think it’s a bad thing , yes .” I replied raising up my cheeks to indicate sarcasm(again , humans confuse me , why not just say “I am sarcastic” when they are being sarcastic.)-“this is hilarious , yes but I am asking a serious question”Emily replied .-“well , and I am answering your serious quest …….”Time stopped , I could see her eyes getting brown .It’s not the wavelength number that’s displayed over the color that I have always seen , it’s actual real life brown , the pigment that reminds you of coffee beans and trees, my pupils widened involuntarily . I could see her eyes in color , her face too was a slightly different tone of brown , her hair began shining under the sun rays .-“is that really what sun rays look like ? I thought they were supposed to be completely white but they seem rather yellow .” I asked , being rather distracted by her facial characteristics to actually focus on what she was saying . it appeared that I had interrupted her , the question seemed weird so I exclaimed-“I have never seen true colors before ..”-“excuse me ….? Are you okay?” she asked , trying to get me to focus more on what she’s saying-“my mother told me that the first time I see colors will be when I meet someone I will love forever ..” her reaction was rather confused , she didn’t seem to quite understand my subtle hint so I added-“I love you Emily , can we get married now?”-“okay … slow down there mister steel man . although you’re quite charming , my father won’t let me marry a robot.”she said while walking away , her expression indicated she was embarrassed , and slightly obnoxious , she didn’t seem to love me back L(isn’t that the emoticon you humans use when there’s something making you unpleasant?)I followed her , I didn’t know why or how I was so curious to find out more about her , again I can’t download anything about her from the database , I have to experience it first hand.-“I am not made of steel by the way , I am mostly carbon fiber and silicon” I exclaimed .She stopped and stared at me-“so you’re …. Actually a robot ? then how come I outscored you on the entry test ?” she asked .-“yes , I have been trying to figure that out , and the simplest conclusion is that YOU are a more advanced robot than me. Isn’t that right , mrs steel ? ” . I replied using my sarcastic algorithm .She seemed rather curious than angry , she stared at me for a longer period of time .-“hey , look I have to go . I have got a lecture to attend in five minutes.” She said-“I can show you the lecture hall , it could be tricky to find.”I offered-“okay steel boy , lead the way.” She replied-“my name is Jeff.” I said-“yeah whatever ..” she mumbled under her breathI pretended not to hear , we walked together towards the lecture hall , without exchanging any more conversation.We sat down and the professor started talking ..I quickly began to zone out , -as humans say- while looking at the colors of the world , everything in my university seemed more vibrant , now I understand what I heard in my first lecture here about colors affecting emotions and mood .I didn’t quite understand it , colors were only shades of grey with a certain wavelength that made some colors preferable when using them with other specific colors .After the lecture ended we had to deliever our assignments so I started reviewing it before I turn it in , I realized some colors were off , they didn’t seem pretty enough to me so I quickly changed some of them .I turned it in and headed outside to catch Emily before she leaves ,-“so you’re a stalker now ?” she said , noticing me before I even begin to talk ( I hear women are better at reading people than men , but I haven’t seen proof of it yet.)-“I am not stalking you , I am just following you around to increase the chance that you’ll fall in love with me .” I explained-“it doesn’t work that way .” she exclaimed , seeming quite interested in what I am saying than when we first spoke.-“then how do humans fall in love ? and how can I make sure you’re not just a more advanced robot ?” I askedHer brows were raised in sort of a confused expression , she didn’t have the answer apparently-“well , first of all , I am not a robot , humans are just better at art than you guys .naturally .” She responded.-“In order to fall in love , humans usually do activities , right ?”    I asked .-“aren’t you supposed to know that already ? from you data base.” She exclaimed .-“well , no I don’t know this and I don’t have a data base , my actions are only based upon my own experiences. It is said to make me more humane .”I replied , focusing on her eyes , and then I caught a hint so I made my move-“will you be willing to drink coffee with me ?”I askedShe nodded , she didn’t seem to take me seriously ,We walked to the cafeteria ,-“hey , Jeff .. how old are you ?” Emily asked .-“I am 18 solar years old .” I respondedWe sat at the cafeteria and ordered our drinks .She looked at me in the eye for a few seconds and then blurted-“hey , do you remember that certain piece you made for your portfolio that is about the phrase (getting appreciated)”She asked , I visualized the piece and looked at it for a few seconds it pictured a man’s head with a black background being surrounded by multiple people looking away from him and that was it .-“what about it ?” I replied-“how in the world did you get that concept?” she asked-“I just looked around me , I saw many people being unappreciated enough : talented people being overlooked by certain untalented people that look more  physically attractive , important people that contribute a lot to society being almost forgotten against people with a low IQ and a good front camera beautification.”I explained .She was silent for a short period of time , the coffee arrived , we began sipping from it silently .-“you know …. For a robot : you’re quite humane.”She said , (and that’s when she first complimented me .)-“thanks ..” we were silent for a few more minutes , then she had to leave .-“will you be willing to join me for lunch ? I didn’t make sure you’re a robot yet .” I said .-“well , I don’t see why not ? except I have an important project due Wednesday , that’s two days from now.” She said while throwing her empty coffee in the garbage disposal .-“I’ll see you tomorrow , then?” I asked .-“I’ll be here next time tomorrow , and by the way the reason I am better than you is I didn’t grow up surrounded by robots , I grew up in the country , I drew trees every day.” She said while walking away , taking part of my cognitive ability with her .I went home , realizing that I know close to nothing about the girl .Other than her name , height , blood type , skin and eye color , universal ID .I knew nothing about he…wait a minute , I had her universal ID. I started searching up her portfolio , I was so amazed , my mathematical , artistic algorithms both agreed on the same thing , her work were truly magnificent .My mother soon arrived , I couldn’t wait to tell her . she leaned closer to the iris scanner to unlock the door and walked in , letting out a huge sigh of relief , as she threw her bag and papers into the cupboard .-“hey honey , how was your day ?” she asked-“Mom , your outfit is different than other days , your choice in fashion implies you’re sad” i replied , her eyes widened as she looked at me with a surprised face ,-“I saw color today … real color.” I added , with a completely neutral tone , She seemed quite speechless , her eyes began filling up with tears as she walked towards her bed room , almost forgetting that I exist .-“honey did you say you actually saw color today ?” she said skeptically while mumbling to herself-“I did , mom , I met the girl , I am a human now , just as you wanted me to.” I said , seeming happier than ever , I finally met the goal I as created for.-“mother …. Why aren’t you happy for me ?” I asked , noticing the distress on her face .-“what do you mean ? I am happy for you ,it’s just ….” She paused , seeming emotionally traumatized and disbelieving-“ do you consider me your son now ?” I asked-“YOU’RE NEVER GONNA REPLACE JEFF , DON’T YOU GET IT ? JEFF WAS MY SON , HUMAN , CARBON BASED , YOU’RE JUST A MORE ADVANCED CALCULATOR …..”She cried as she slammed her bed room closed ,

[inopinion]

Top five favorite pieces you've written and why?

Okay…. so…. I don’t get asks very often and I’m about to go full dork-ing nerd on you, because I’m a blathering idiot when it comes to asks and why stop now?

1. Story Snippets - There are currently 19 pages of snippets.

I started writing snippets after learning about a writing exercise called the six-sentence story. I wrote probably 80% of them when I was stuck in long, dry meetings waiting to present my stuff or waiting to pull out an unbridled fact-check on someone. 

These aren’t the ones I love the most, there are 19 pages… these are the ones I found quickly that struck me in the moment. I love these because they are a challenge. It takes practice to become concise. It makes me better at description. It’s been a fun technique for interacting with folks too, and I often turn them into entire scenes in my stories.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

You Can find more by going to my “Story Snippet” Tag, or Omitted on FFN

2. If you’re hear because of Red Queen, you might not know that I have this epic Divergent Fanfic called Something New. It’s…. it’s epic. It’s over 150,000 words long. I started it as a NaNoWriMo in 2014. I’m pretty sure I hadn’t written anything for about two or three years by then. I was RUSTY. I was unpracticed. and the first few dozen chapters are shaky. I wrote Chapters 1-14 in 26 days. I didn’t have anyone to read them when I wrote them. They’ve had mild editing since they were originally posted, but my writing didn’t really start improving until I started taking the snippets seriously, and I got help from Milner and BK2U. Oh, and I slowed way down…. like snail’s pace.

The entire story is something I’m proud of (except chapter 2, burn it).

3. Chapter 14 of Something New is one chapter I’m incredibly proud of. I wrote it probably in week 2 of NaNoWriMo. I had to work all the other chapters up to it. It was the original ending to the story and if no one ever commented, I would have stopped. But then… people got interested and I got motivated. And now I’m struggling to finish this damn thing. :)

Comments = motivation = writing (duh).

4. Time Shift/Twist/Tornado/ is another NaNoWrimo project that I wrote last November. It’s a Chronos Files fanfiction (Time Bound, Time’s Echo, Time Rift, etc. by Rysa Walker). I can’t share it with you because it’s all hand written. It’s the first time I really had to live with my work. I don’t write in order from Chapter 1 to Chapter 357…. I write little bits here and there and then weave them together. So I spend about 50% of my time editing things together, trying out different orders, etc. I couldn’t do that with paper. I couldn’t highlight and delete. I couldn’t just add one paragraph to fix that little hole. I had to put it on paper, move on, and use a post-it note or something to make a note on what should change for the final draft (which I’ve never made). And I had to follow somewhat of an outline, which is like @emmysrandomthoughts facing down a creepy doll. When I finish Something New, I’ll probably work on turning Time Shift into something for everyone to enjoy. I really liked it. I love the experience writing it. I learned a lot. And it gave me a new hobby: fountain pens.

Here’s some pictures….

5. I’m going to pick something a little more recent for #5…. The Murderer’s Prince, a Red Queen fanfic that shows an alternative POV. If you’ve read my stuff for a little while, you’ll know that I really love evoking strong emotions. The pinnacle of success is to earn my reader’s tears. And that’s exactly what I hoped this piece would do. I loved taking my story snippet technique and really opening up the mind game. So much of what I’m writing right now is dialog / standard fiction that I’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to not have anyone speak. So I loved writing this.

6. (you didn’t ask) but I have this story I’ve been mulling for a couple years, that’s just about ready for a first draft. But I literally have half a notebook of work in wold building, character concepts, and not only is the content amazeballz to my little excited mind, but aesthetically, it makes me feel like a real writer - like… it’s pretty awesome. Top Secret, though.

There’s a few other things that I’ve really loved writing that are no longer in existence. Like my old Weezer and Phantom Planet fics from High School. And this long ass story that I used to feel out sexuality (also from HS), which would probably be pretty offensive to glittery gay boys - but hey, I was trying to sort some shit out! And the first time I filled an ENTIRE spiral bound notebook in seventh grade writing my own high school soap opera – again, mostly just feeling out relationships and friendships.

What else is cool…. Buried deep, deep in a box somewhere in a shed in the middle of the Rocky Mountains is a sacred artifact…. In 2nd grade, we learned about writing stories - about stories as more than an object, but as an outlet just like a painting or a piece of music. And our teacher handed us a blank, hard-backed book. We had to plan our story, type it out during computer lab, print it, cut it , paste it so that we used every page. And then we had to illustrate it. If my mind holds true, my stuffed dog was a detective, solving a crime. I won an award for the illustrations.

There you have it, more than you ever wanted to know. You’ll think twice before dropping something in my ask box, wont you…. cos I’m a wee bit crazy on the responses. But hey, if I can’t dork out and just be me on my own f-ing blog, then where can I do it?

Cheers!

[chrisgis4680-blog]

Module 2

So I am to guess we were supposed to include readings on the paintings of the day two reading, but obviously I already wrote a whole bit on that so I will direct you there if you wish to read about them haha. 

I really enjoyed “The Mask of Anarchy” though it took me a few times to reread bits to get the gist, I still think it was a much easier read than some of the other poems we have had to read. Like the next one I will be writing about. I think the rhythm and overall set up just really helped make this poem an easier read. I may get overwhelmed by a massive pile of words in one clustered form. When I read it I thought Hope was actually the one who did the speech. The analysis stated that they are not sure who is doing the speech, but that it seems to be a woman, and honestly the whole time I just assumed it was Hope, so that is what I am going to go with. It seemed to me that hope was lost until she saw anarchy then happened to find her voice. To which I thought the author was maybe praising anarchy. But then in class we clarified my whole four horsemen theory of them being bad, and it was actually the high up people who were under the masks if I remember correctly. Which helped a lot because the analysis confused me, making me think anarchy died and that anarchy was basically everything that was evil in the world. Then I could not tell if it was good or bad again, and I just got all mixed up. Also I quite enjoyed the last line as a general. Hope basically just does a mic drop with the final line, “Ye are many -- they are few.” Not that I have never heard that before, but at the end of the poem, it is simply amazing.

Okay I was not so in love with “Ode to the West Wind” I absolutely read this wrong at first I think I read the title wrong (I cannot for the life of me remember what I thought it was) so because of that I thought it was about a barren wasteland at first, then there was suddenly a tree and I was just all messed up. After reading it again I actually still did not get it. I am not one for huge vague metaphors. I thought the leaves were ideas and the wind spreads the ideas in autumn, during which the ideas just die. Then new ideas were born in spring. Oh I just got to the end of my notes, I thought it said Wild West Wind. That is where I got the desert visual from haha.

Foot seemed to love this poem way more than I ever could. Foot clarified that the leaves were not ideas, but indeed the seeds of revolution. I just did not see that at all, but maybe it made more sense in the context of history. Even the analysis language was rough for me. I really try but if I am not interested my eyes read the page and my brain does not process.

The Communal Luxury was kind of hit or miss for me throughout the book. First off I found it really frustrating that Ross used a lot of French and did not bother to translate it. This being because, well I am reading a book and you should translate so I don’t have to look it up, and the fact that (as every language teacher in the history of the world has mentioned) Google translate does not actually translate all that well. I think the history bit of the commune in the book was rather helpful. Though the documentary helps explain a lot, Ross does dive into the real root of the commune more than I have seen people dive into the explanation in the past. Plus she really helped me understand the whole cannon thing from the documentary because it was kind of confusing in the film honestly. I thought it was really cool that the people who met in the “clubs” had their own language for wanting to talk about things they were not legally allowed to talk about, like bread for property and such. I think this was really clever. Also I am torn between being upset and also kind of amused at the fact that the government did not bother to send their “spies” to the radical women’s clubs. On one hand, obviously women should be seen as more of a threat than they are, but on the other hand it is kind of funny that they weren't seen as such, then they turned around and were basically the whole reason the commune was able to take control of the cannon in the first place. So HA to you government. But not that that has changed either, like basically everything else I have learned about politics in the last several years.

As (hopefully) a future teacher I find everything Ross explains about education to be fascinating. I get super excited when she and the film talk about girls being allowed to learn actual trade skills and things instead of sewing and cooking and other crap like that. Though those things are important if one wants to learn them, girls should have the same opportunity as boys. I think i remember either the book or the film saying something about there still being a separation in schools for girls and boys, but hey it was the nineteenth century, even modern thinking of that day can only go so far. Also I appreciate that Peltier was a schoolteacher and an artist, because well obvious reasons. All these different people with different occupations gets me thinking a bit about things, like why aren't there more people involved in the government that actually experience it? All we have is business people and lawyers and they are great, but maybe a teacher should have a say in the school system because they know what the heck they are doing, and maybe a banker or whatever should say things about the economy. I think part of this was some of the basis of the commune. It was just regular people trying to make up government that worked based on their experiences. Though it obviously did not work out in the end, because well everybody has different opinions, I feel like if maybe you got the right group of people together shit could get figured out. Obviously the problem is who picks the right people? Look at who technically gets picked now. But say in the commune where you start completely over without the corruption and the greed, at least you have a fighting chance of figuring it out.

Though the documentary was kind of weird and a little hard to follow, it was not altogether a horrible film. It probably could have been shorter honestly. I found the concept kind of odd but interesting. I may or may not have thought I was crazy and had to double check when the TV was invented to confirm this haha. But overall it was pretty informative. Though I was confused by the weird and sudden change from the actors acting in the film to actually talking about the film in town hall meetings I did see the point. I will probably say this over and over again throughout the course, but I think pretty much all of the radical politics is almost always relevant to today’s day and age. There have alway been the governed who have all the power and suppress all the little people and the little people will always hate it and sometimes try to change it. I just can’t help but wonder if the elites will always have all the money and power if a revolution just winds up putting a new powerful person back into power the same way they tried to get rid of the last one. Though the commune seemed to be revolutionary and this new amazing thing, history still always repeats itself and I feel we never get out of the governmental lock of the elites vs the poor, especially while the poor stay uninformed and stupid about it.