#hey that one's abbreviation is bae! that works

[whoknowsyourfuture]

Well, it might be more useful to make the writing updates a weekly thing. Haven't gotten much done since last post, had learning to do at work for some training I'm starting in a week. But got some stuff done for new projects; I have a new fic idea for The Old Guard where Nicky is a vampire, and I want to do a new fic in my Good Omens series involving the events of season 2. Other than that, got a bit done on a new Horrorscope and a few phrases of poetry. Have a long weekend, but need to get some IRL stuff done before school starts up again, so no guarantees on getting anything posted, unfortunately.

[theyouthreport-blog]

The Youth Report - 16th February, 2018 ☎️💬

Praise be, The Youth Report is back.

We’ve been busy consulting with youths in the South Pacific and living the life of #youngprofessionals but now we’re back for good. On this week’s report we will be talking about something the youth are pretty good at - communication. We text more than we talk so it only feels right to teach you how it’s truly done.

Youth Takes on Communication

Adults have mastered professional abbreviations (EOD, ETC) so there’s no reason why you can’t understand the abbreviations popular with the youth...

OTP = on the piss = drinking alcohol (“let’s get otp”)

OTP = one true pair (“thank god jen broke up with justin because her and brad are OTP 5eva”)

DTR = define the relationship (“hey boo, lately i’ve been feeling like you only hit me up with the late night drunk text... i think we gotta DTR”) *fair warning never try to DTR before the fifth date.

TFW = the feeling when (“tfw you're making plans with an older relative and they say ‘looking forward to hooking up’”)

WYD = what you doin’ (“lil mama wyd tonite?”)

Here are some other totally youthful words to add to your lexicon:

Issa = a nonchalant but very cool way of saying ‘it’s a’ (“issa vibe”, “issa look”)

Amirite = when you’re being sarcastic (“the best valentine is yourself amirite”)

Extra = over the top (“girl came in wearing gucci slides and fur coat, it was extra af but i loved it”)

Ded = yes the ‘a’ is missing on purpose, hun. When something is unreal funny or stupid (“on our first date, he took me to Sizzlers. Im ded.”)

Although this has already been some quality 10/10 advice, communication isn’t just through words but also body language. Here’s some quick tips that even 2008 Jesse McCartney couldn’t explain:

High fives are borderline embarrassing. Honestly, there’s nothing more cringe-worthy than a high five unless it is performed in a sporting context. For literally every other context, go with a fist bump (unless your papi tells a killer dad joke, then maybe he deserves a high five.)

Unless you’re at work, please don’t introduce yourself with a handshake. When you meet someone new, do an ironic wave or just go in for the hug. There’s no inbetween, ain’t nobody tryna caress your clammy hand - and if they are, they’re clearly not #youthful and let’s be real why would you wanna know them anyway?

Bop of the Week

Kiss Me Thru The Phone - Soulja Boy Tell'em

Issa oldie but issa bop. Talking to your middle school bae thru a flip phone was the best amirite?

Meme of the Week

*if you think these are the real abbreviations, not even The Youth Report can save you...

That’s it for another week of TYR. Have a dope weekend but a terrible President’s Day! Reply with your questions for the youth and they might just be answered in next week’s report. And as always, don’t forget to moisturize your neck. #stayyoung

Jocelyn & Martha