#hey heads up yall can't touch the kitchen for the next 3 hours if I see anyone here I will hit em with a broom/trapeador

[bellflower-goat]

:]

[kayleebreanne09]

I feel so sad!

John b x reader. With a little bit of ex Rafe x reader.

So I was listening to the song You should be sad by Halsey. I’m lowkey obsessed with it & I immediately thought about this blurb idea. So the reader was with Rafe, they had a really toxic relationship & she ran away. John b saves her & puts her back together. Obviously Halsey wrote this amazing song but just for the sake of the fic, the (Y/n) character writes it. Alright I hope y’all like this because it was really fun to write. Love yall💜

It’d been 3 months since you’d ran away from everything kook related. 3 months that a certain messy haired brunette pogue had spent trying to piece your heart back together. 3 months since you ended the most toxic relationship you’ve ever had in your life. You sat on the log, curled up against John B in front of the nightly fire y’all had at the chateau. On your other side was Kie, smiling happily at you, & across the fire, JJ & Pope goofed off. These were your people now. They’d put you back together when it seemed impossible that all the pieces would ever fit right again. JJ made some stupid joke & everyone just groaned but I couldn’t help but laugh. He jumped up & ran over to me to high five me! He threw his hand up in the air a little too close to me & my body automatically flinched. My heart started to race & my vision started to go fuzzy. I ran inside, desperately trying to get air into my lungs. I raced into the bathroom, jumping in the shower & turning the water on. I sank to the floor of the shower, all my clothes still on. I sat there with my knees up to my chest & my arms curled around them, trying to keep myself from breaking. I heard footsteps & a deep sigh that I knew belonged to my boyfriend. I felt John B step into the shower behind me, sitting down with his legs on either side of me & leaning up so his head was resting on my back. “Baby, breathe. You are safe. You aren’t with Rafe anymore, no one will ever touch you again. I will always protect you” he whispered slowly drawing words on my back. He sat there drawing random shapes as the water soaked ya both. “Let’s play a game...guess what I’m writing” he then drew what felt like 12 letters. “J” I guessed for the first letter. “Yes!” He replied...we went on like that until I figured it out. “JJ is a dumbass? Really John B?” I let out a small laugh. “Okay next one” John B said as he started drawing his fingertip along the sopping wet back of my shirt. “I love you” I guessed once he’d finished the last letter. He pulled me back against him & I felt some of the tension leave my body. “Yes. & I’ll never stop loving you. I will always be the best I can for you, I’ll never let you go through what you went through before” he stated, pressing a kiss to my cheek. “I love you John B. So much” I said turning & giving him a long kiss, hoping that he could feel just how much I needed him.

The next day, I was sitting on the kitchen counter watching John B make pancakes. My gaze kept drifting out the window to the calm water. Last night had stirred up some memories that were hard to deal with. Poor John B had been up half the night trying to soothe me back to sleep from my stupid nightmares. “Hey babe” John b said pulling my attention back to him. “Yeah baby, what’s up?” I asked smiling at him. “If you’re getting overwhelmed with stuff from the past, maybe you should write about it” he offered, looking back to the pan to flip the pancake. John b knew that I loved writing. It helped me get everything out. I wouldn’t call myself a song writer but I did love taking things that I’d been through & putting them into lyrics that maybe other people could relate to. If I could just help one person get through something, it’d be making a difference & that was all that I wanted. I jumped down & went to hug him from the back. I rested my head against his warm skin & just enjoyed the feeling of having John B in my arms. “That’s a good idea!” I said pressing a quick kiss to his back. “Good! Because I already texted Kie & she’s bringing her ukulele over to help” he said spinning around & swatting me on the butt with the spatula. I stood on my tip toes & pressed my lips to his as he pulled me into him. “You really are the best” I breathed out.

Kie & I sat in the hammock together, legs intertwined. She had her ukulele in her lap & I had my lyric book in mine. She reached over & pulled my pencil from behind my ear, & slid it into my hand. “Get to writing sister, I need to hear what these lyrics sound like before I can come up with a melody. Also, I’m sorry about JJ last night. He didn’t know your history with Rafe & pope chewed his ass pretty good about it.” She said as she laughed loudly. “It’s fine Kie. I just, I know what I want to say...I guess it’s just putting it into actual words is hard. Like I’m not conflicted, I’m 100% over Rafe, I just feel like none of his friends will tell him the truth. They won’t tell him that he’s turned into this monster & I feel like maybe if someone would just be honest with him, maybe he could change & find happiness in his life like I have with John B” I smiled toward the dock where John B was cleaning out the HMS Pogue. “Start there then!” Kie replied. & I did. My mind drifted back...

“Rafe, you’ve got to stop with the drugs. I can help you! You aren’t you anymo-“ I was cut off my his hand grabbing my throat & shoving me back against the wall. “Don’t tell me what I’ve got to do bitch” he snarled. His eyes were dark & pupils so dilated that I didnt even see the man that I’d grown to care about anymore. “I NEED the money, the drugs, the nice cars...I don’t need you. So you better watch the way you’re talking to me” he said, finally releasing my throat. I sank to the floor rubbing my neck where I knew bruises would form later. I took a deep breath & stood up. “I won’t do this anymore. You’ve broken me enough. You are toxic & I’m done. I’m gone & don’t you dare try to find me” I took one final look at the monster he’d become & walked away.

Kie watched as I stared off, my eyes tearing up. I felt her grab my hand & squeeze, just letting me know she was there. “I know what to write!” I said quickly scribbling down everything I wanted to say.

“I wanna start this out and say

I gotta get it off my chest

Got no anger, got no malice

Just a little bit of regret

Know nobody else will tell you

So there's some things I gotta say

Gonna jot it down and then get it out

And then I'll be on my way

No, you're not half the man you think that you are

And you can't fill the hole inside of you with money, drugs and cars

I'm so glad I never ever had a baby with you

'Cause you can't love nothin' unless there's somethin' in it for you

Oh, I feel so sorry

I feel so sad

I tried to help you

It just made you mad

And I had no warnin'

About who you are

I'm just glad I made it out without breakin' down

And then ran so fuckin' far

That you would never ever touch me again

Won't see your alligator tears

'Cause, no, I've had enough…”

Kie leaned over eyes scanning over what I’d written. “(Y/N) this is good. No, it’s amazing. I mean, I don’t even know what to say” she said hugging me tightly. “Thanks for always being there Kie” I said, leaning my head on her shoulder as the hug ended. “Now let’s get to work on this melody!”

A month passed & id been hired to play at midsummers. JJ had heard the song Kie & I came up with at the chateau & while working one day, he heard about talent tryouts to play at midsummers. He relayed the message & Kie & I went & tried out. Apparently they liked us because we were one of the acts that were hired to play. Everything went so fast & suddenly, it was a couple hours before midsummers was supposed to start. I stood in John B’s room, sliding on the dress that I’d gotten. It was a deep vneck off white dress with silver beading. John B walked in & wrapped his arms around me, looking at our reflection in the mirror. “You are so beautiful baby. You are going to be amazing tonight” I smiled at his reflection. “Are you sure you & JJ can pull off sneaking in as waiters?” I questioned. “Of course sweetheart, we are total badassea at going incognito” he said smirking. I turned around, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Good. I don’t think I could get through tonight without you” I whispered. He leaned down & brought his lips to mine. “You’ll never have to go through anything without me” he said squeezing my hips, pulling me closer to him & refusing to let me go until it was time to leave.

The lights facing the stage were blinding. I felt way too many eyes on me & way too many kooks judging me. Kie nudged my arm, smiling over at me & started to play. I put every ounce of emotion that I had into that performance. All the sadness from an ended relationship, & all the hope that I had that one day Rafe would find happiness. He & I were never meant to be, I understood that now. I just wanted him to get the help he needed. A single tear slipped down my face as I sang the last line. I wiped it away, grabbing Kies hand & bowing as the crowd cheered. I scanned the crowd to see Pope, JJ, & John B cheering in the back! “That’s my girl!” John b hollered. Security saw him & started making their way over. “Shit. Come on guys! Mandatory pogue meeting at the chateau!” JJ yelled. Kie ran to JJ as he spun her around & she then threw her arms around JJ & Pope. “Cmon baby!” John b yelled. I yanked up the bottom of my dress, kicked off my heels, grabbing them off the ground & took off running....Launching myself into his waiting arms. He kissed me long & hard. “Time to go!” He said pulling my hand & dancing away right as the pissed off security guard dove at us. I threw my head back laughing as John B bent down & I jumped on his back. He carried me all the way to the waiting HMS Pogue & we all rode off into the night.

Rafe stood in silence staring after the girl he had lost. He knew he’d done everything wrong in the relationship. Maybe she was right. Maybe the drugs couldn’t fill the hole he had inside. He decided then & there that he would get clean. He would fix things with his dad. He finally had closure, & maybe one day, he would find the love that he knew she had found.