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joybabyjune · 2 years ago

Text

Pandora’s Box

Pairing: Frank Castle x fem!reader

Summery: Frank left a box, hidden in your closet, filled with all sorts of exciting things. When he’s on his way to you, after he’s been away for a few weeks, he calls you and tells you to open it..

Warnings: Warnings: explicit (minors dni!!), smut, oral (m & f receiving), p in v, toys, bondage, anal play, anal (f receiving), praise kink, dirty talk, creampie, all the good stuffff..

Author’s note: This is my first fanfic and I’m super nervous to post it! I would love to hear what you think about it, but please be kind. ❤️

Disclaimer: English is not my first language and I’m definitely not letting anyone I know irl read my dirty fantasies 😂 So please don’t mind any grammar/spelling errors.

Masterlist

It's around 7 pm when you let yourself fall onto the couch. It's been a long day at work and after having a quick drink and a bite with some co workers, you're happy it's weekend.

You kick off your heels when you hear your phone ring, not your normal phone, but the burner phone you got from Frank. It’s been over three weeks since you last saw him. Your heart leaps and you hurry to grab your purse, searching for the small flipphone inside. "Where are you.." You mumble to yourself, but then you see it. "Hello." You answer eagerly.

You hear him breath out a little laugh. "Hey, sweetheart." His raspy voice sounds through the phone. "Just got home?" He asks.

"Yes, had a long day." You say yawning.

He hums. "So maybe I shouldn't come over, huh?" He says, amusement in his voice.

"You already know you're always welcome." You say biting your lip. "Are you in New York?" You ask excitedly.

"Not yet, but I'm on my way." He says. "Can be at your place in about.. An hour.."

"Y-yeah, of course." You say looking at your watch. It'll give you enough time to take a shower and make yourself presentable. He usually doesn't call ahead, but just appears at your doorstep, more often than not in the middle of the night.

"Gotta do something for me first, pretty girl." He says, his voice a bit lower.

"Oh yeah? What's that?" You ask.

"There is a box in the closet in your bedroom." He says. "Need you to get it, can you do that for me?"

"A box?" You ask curiously and you get up to get it.

"Hmhm." He says teasingly. "Found it?”

"Yes.." You say, putting him on speaker while you lift it up and place it on your bed. "C-can I open it?" You ask a little nervously.

He chuckles breathily. "You can, sweetheart."

You lift off the lid and peer inside, gasping for air when you see what he left for you. "Frank.." You say.

"Like it?" He asks and you can hear the grin on his face. "Take it out, pretty girl."

You see a gorgeous set of red lingerie and you lift it from the box. "I-it's beautiful!" You say. "You want me to wear that for you tonight?" You ask.

"That was the plan." He says chuckling. "There's more.." He says.

"More?" You mutter as you crumple up the pretty gift paper in search of something else. "Oh my- Frank! A buttplug?" You gasp, looking at the box with a shiny, silver plug inside.

He laughs. "Take it from the box, you'll like it." He says.

"I-it's intimidating.." You say as you take it out of its packaging. "Oh.." You add as you see the foot of the plug is heartshaped and is decorated with a pretty red gemstone. "It's very pretty.."

"Want you to wear it tonight.." He says. "It'll look so good in that little ass of yours.." He says, and he groans a little at the thought.

"Hmm.." You moan squeezing you thighs together at his enthousiasm. "I'll try, okey?" You say.

"Good girl.." He says. "You should find some lube in the box as well.. And there's still more.."

"More?" You ask, wondering what more could possibly be inside. You look around through the gift paper and find a pair of fluffy, red handcuffs. This makes you chuckle. "See you upgraded your belt.." You say as you jiggle them to let him hear what you found. You had liked the way he tied up your hands with his belt, but you also like the cute handcuffs.

He laughs. "Had to stay in the theme, right." He says. "One more thing, sweetheart." He says.

You look through the box again, finding an throwing aside the small lube bottle and at last, you see a soft black blindfold. "Hmm.. A blindfold too.." You moan. "What do you have in store for me tonight, Frankie.."

"You'll see, pretty girl.." He says. "You just have to get ready, put on the lingerie, the blindfold and the plug.. And then wait for me on your knees on the bedroom floor. I'll let myself in. Can you do that for me, sweetheart?"

You moan softly. "Yess.. I-I can do that.."

"Good girl.." He says. "See you in about 45 minutes, okey?"

"Yes.. I'll be ready." You say and he disconnects the call.

Oh my god, what a turn did this night take. You quickly shed off your clothes and hurry into the bathroom. Your hair still looks fine, so you tie it up carefully to make sure it doesn't get wet and you step under the hot stream.

After you're clean, shaved and lotioned, you put on the set that Frank picked for you. The thought of him in a lingerie store makes you chuckle. He has good taste. The red color looks great on your skin tone. When you pull the panties up, you notice they are crotchless and you blush. Frank has seen you naked plenty of times, but for some reason wearing these panties makes you feel exposed.

When you're dressed you let your hair down again and redo your makeup, choosing a red lipstick, since Frank seems to like that color.

You look at the time and see that you have about 5 minutes before Frank will arrive. It's time for the last step. You bite your lip nervously and grab the lube bottle and the plug. Frank has put his thumb and fingers in your ass before and you liked that, so this should be fine too, right? You lie down on the bed, squeeze some lube on the shiny metal and spread it around with your fingers. You rub the slippery liquid that's now coating your fingers on your ass, massaging it like Frank would do to get the muscle to relax. You hold your breath when you showly push the toy inside you. "Oh fuck.." You whisper to yourself when you feel a painful stretch but you continue, wanting to please Frank. You push a little further and it easily slides into place as if your ass is swallowing the metal bulb. "Oh my god.." You whimper at the feeling and you squeeze your thighs together.

You get up on shaky legs and walk to the mirror, wanting to see how it looks. The heart is turned slightly to the side and you turn it, so it's straight. You love how it looks and it makes you feel sexy and naughty. You can't wait to see Frank's reaction.

Like talking about the devil, you hear the front door opening. Your eyes widen and you quickly grab the blindfold, place it over your eyes and kneel on the rug in front of the bed. Your heart's pounding as you hear his boots on the floor and his keys drop on your kitchen table.

The bedroom door opens and he get's inside. "Fuck.." He groans. "Even better than I imagined.."

You bite your lip and wiggle a little in anticipation. You love to give yourself over to him and be his good little girl, but you also like to tease a little. "Hi Frankie.." You say and you spread your legs wide.

"Hmmm.." He hums and you hear him undo his belt. "So pretty for me.."

You hear him fumble with his clothes and as much as it turns you on that you can't see what he's doing, you want to watch him. "I wanna see.." You mumble.

"That right?" He asks teasingly and you hum. "Open your mouth." He says ignoring your request.

You immediately open your mouth, sticking out your tongue a little. "Good girl.." He says and he gently feeds you his cock.

You moan and wrap you lips around his girth. You love sucking cock and you especially love his cock. It's big and thick and it gets rockhard. You place your hands on his thighs and slide him deeper in your mouth, earning yourself a groan from Frank. "That's it.. Missed that mouth.."

You moan around him as you start sucking him nice and deep, the way you know he likes it, using a lot of spit, to make it nice and slippery. You move one hand from his thigh to his shaft, stroking the part you don't fit in your mouth and use your other hand to fondle his balls. "Fuck.. That feels so good.." He growls as you gag on him, his breathing sounding more strained.

He let's you continue your magic a little longer, before he wraps his hand in your hair and gently pulls you off him. "Noo.." You protest a little and he chuckles.

"Gonna make me cum if you continue like that, pretty.." He says and you pout. You hear him laugh through his nose. "Did you manage to fit the plug?"

"Y-yes.." You say shyly.

"Good girl.." He says proudly. "Show me.." He helps you on your shaking legs and guides you on hands and knees on the bed. "Fuckk..." He growls. "That's so perfect.." He pushes the plug a little deeper in your ass, making you whimper.

"You like it, Frankie?" You moan and you wiggle your butt a little.

"Fucking love it.." He says and without warning he licks a slow wide stripe over your dripping pussy. "And you're so wet.." He hums in enjoyment against your clit. "That all for me?"

"F-fuck.. Yesss.." You moan and your legs shake. You lie down with your face on the bed, arching your back and giving him better access to your clit.

He dives in again, swirling his tongue around your clit and sliding his tongue all the way through your lips and over the red gemstone of the plug. "Oh godd.." You moan. You've been with a few people in your life, but Frank has the best tongue by far.

"Hmm tastes so good.." He hums before sticking his tongue as deep in your pussy as possible.

Your eyes roll back in your head as he replaces his tongue with two of his fingers and sucks your clit in his mouth. You gasp for air and grab at the sheets. "Oh Frank! I'm gonna cum!"

He growls against your skin. "Do it, sweetheart.." He encourages you.

A warm wave of pleasure rushes through your body as you fall apart. You clench around his fingers and shock on his tongue. "Fuckk!!" You cry out. "Oh fuck, Frank.. That was amazing.." You pant as he slowly pulls his fingers out of you and gives your clit a final kiss.

"Hmmm.." He hums and he moves away. You hear him undress and feel the bed dip as he gets on it behind you. "Crawl a bit further." He tells you and he slaps your ass.

You shriek a little and do as he says until you think you're in the middle of the bed. "Good girl.." He says. "Stretch your arms in front of you."

You place your arms in front of you comfortably and you feel how he fastens the handcuff around your right wrist. You can't see, but you recon he loops the chain around your headboard and he fastens your left wrist as well. You test your restraints and moan a little when you notice you're stuck like this now. He chuckles. "Like that, sweetheart?"

"Y-yes.." You moan and by the way the bed shifts, you know he's now behind you again.

"That plug looks like it's made for you.." He says and he almost sounds like he's in awe. He pushes it in a bit deeper and than slowly starts pulling it out.

"Oh fuck.." You whimper as you feel the wide part stretch your muscles before it slips out. Your legs shake.

He growls a little. "Opening up so perfectly for me.." He mutters and then you feel his tongue on the freshly stretched hole.

"Frank!" You gasp in disbelieve as he pushes the tip of his tongue inside you.

"Perfect little ass.." He rasps as he pushes the plug against you again. "Want this back?"

"Yess.." You moan and he slowly pushes it back inside you. You whimper at the stretching sensation and pull on the cuffs.

"You good?" He checks with you.

"Yes.. S-so good.." You pant and wiggle your butt.

"Tell me when you're not, hmm?" He says, caressing the skin of your thighs and ass.

"Yes.." You promise.

"Good girl.." He says and you feel him rub the head of his cock through your wet lips. He lines himself up with your hole and you moan loudly as he slowly slides into you. "Ohh fuck.." He hisses out. "That pussy's gonna be the death of me.." He mutters as he stills deep inside of you, trying not to cum immediately.

You smile against the matress. "That's how The Punisher is gonna leave this world?" You tease as you clench around him on purpose.

He laughs breathily. "Getting brave there, hm?" He teases as he slowly pulls back before sharply thrusting back in, knocking the air from your longs.

"Fuck!" You cry out in pleasure and shock.

"That's what you get, huh.." He says and he starts fucking you in a steady rhythm.

"Holy shit.. So full.." You mumble into the matress. He normally already stretches you up so much with how big he is, but combined with the metal toy in your ass it's overwhelming.

"Yeah.. You like that, pretty girl?" He asks and he slowly starts to pull on the plug again while still fucking you. He doesn't pull it out completely, but pushes it back in.

"Fuck yes.." You moan as he repeats his actions a few times, basically fucking your ass with the plug alternating with his cock in your pussy. "Feels so fucking good.. I-I'm gonna cum, Frankie.."

He growls. "Yesss...." He hisses. "Cum on my cock.." He encourages you. "Do it.."

"Please don't stop!" You cry out. "So close! Fuck!!" You're louder than ever before as you climax around him. Your hips and legs shake and you pull on your restraints. "Holy fucking shit!" You pant as you come down from your high.

"Attagirl.." He says, pride audible in his voice. He gently pulls the plug from your ass and throws it aside. "Such a good girl for me.." He caresses the skin of your lower back and your thighs.

"Oh, Frank.." You say, still panting. "That was amazing.."

"Hmmhmm.." He hums and slowly pulls out of you. "Gonna flip you over, okey?"

"Yes.." You answer a little bit drunk from the intense orgasm.

He lifts u up easily and turns you over so you're on your back, your hands still tied above your head to the headboard. "You're so fucking pretty.." He says as he admires you. "Wanna see those pretty eyes.." He adds and he takes off your blindfold.

You blink as even the dimmed lighting is bright for your eyes right now. When you're adjusted you look at him, biting your lip. "God.. You're so hot.." You say involuntarily, making him chuckle. His hair is messy and the way the lighting hits his body, makes sure you can see every muscle in his sculpted torso. You look down at his rock hard cock, wet from your juices and it makes your mouth water.

"Done staring?" He teases. "Or do I need to put the blindfold back on?"

"No.." You whimper and he laughs, crawling over your body and kissing you. You moan in his mouth, only now noticing that this is the first time his kisses you tonight. One of his arms rests above your head and the hand of the other, cups your jaw while he deepens the kiss. You feel his cock between your legs, against your pussy and then against your, now sensitive, asshole. For the first time tonight you think about if he is planning on fucking your ass tonight and you tense up a little at the thought.

"What's wrong?" He asks, breaking the kiss and sliding his nose against yours.

"D-did you intend to.. F-fuck my ass tonight?" You ask shyly.

He moves away a little so he can look at your face. "I would like to.." He says. "If you want that too.."

You bite your lip as you look up at him, thinking it over. The idea turns you on, but it also scares you because he's so big. "I-if you go slow.." You say carefully.

"Yeah?" He asks. You dare say you see a glimmer of hope in his eyes and that sight pushes you over the edge.

You nod. "Yes.. I wanna try." You say a little more confidently.

He sits up and looks for the lube bottle. It's somewhere on the bed and he quickly finds it. "You tell me if I need to stop, okey?" He says as he squirts some lube on his cock, jerking himself to spread it. "Pull your legs up a little." He says and you comply. He rubs some lube on your asshole and gently pushes two fingers inside you.

You moan a little at the intrusion and you slowly start to get excited about having his cock in there. "Please.." You whimper quietly. His eyes shoot up to yours and he growls softly, liking that you beg him for it.

"Heard that.." He smirks a little. "Want my cock in here, sweetheart?" He says accentuating his words by moving his fingers inside you.

"Yess.. Please, Frank.." You say a little more purposefully.

"Good girl.." He groans and he pulls back his fingers. He looks you in the eyes as he positions himself against the tight hole and slowly but surely pushes in the head of his cock.

You bite your lip in anticipation and nod at him to continue as it doesn't hurt. He pushes a bit further and you moan at the feeling of being stretched, rolling your eyes back into your head. "Oh my god.." You pant. He pushes a bit further and you flinch a little as it starts to hurt. "S-slowly.."

He pulls back a little. "Doing so well for me.." He praises as he pushes back in again a little further than before. "Taking me so well, sweetheart.."

You moan as he slowly keeps pulling back and pushing back in a little deeper than before. It goes so well, it's amost painless and you moan as it starts to feel good. "Oh, Frank.."

"Almost all of it, pretty girl.." He says as he leans over and starts kissing your face. "You feel so good.. Fuck.." He says as his hips touch yours. "That's all of me, sweetheart.." He says, resting his forehead against yours.

"Feels so good.." You pant as he stills deep inside of you. "Please fuck me, Frankie.." You ask and he immediately complies, sliding out halfway and pushing back in. The pain has completely faded now and it's only pleasure that you're experiencing. "Yess.." You hiss and you wrap your legs around his hips.

He growls. "Fuck that tight ass feels so good around my cock.." He says, his voice a bit shaky. You can tell he's struggling not to cum. He starts a slow pace, fucking your ass deeply while he burries his face in your neck.

"Harder.. Please.." You moan as you need more.

He looks at you in disbelieve and quickens his pace before kissing you deeply. "Oh you're so perfect.. So perfect.." He mumbles against your lips. "Can't go much longer." His voice is strained. His hand moves to beween your bodies and he fiercely starts rubbing your clit. "Need you to cum for me one more time.." He says. "Cum with my cock in your ass.."

You moan loudly at his words and at the way he stimulates your clit. "Oh I'm so close.. Harder, Frankie, please!" You cry out.

He fucks you even harder, still rubbing your clit. "Cum for me.." He growls.

Your whole body tenses and shocks as you orgasm. You can't even speak because of how forceful it is. "Fuck!!!" Is the only thing you can manage.

You look up at him and he looks at you in awe. His jaw is slack and his eyes are wild. "Gonna fill that fucking ass up.." He growls and his body stiffens as he cums hard inside your ass. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" He groans.

"Oh my god.." You say panting loudly, your heart pounding in your chest.

He rests his head in the crook on your neck and sighs deeply. "Fucking hell, that was so good.." He pants sleepily, sliding his softening cock from your ass. You can feel the cum leaking out of you, but you don't care about that right now.

"Frank?" You say after a few minutes.

"Hmm?" He hums sleepily.

"My hands." You say. They're still tied up.

He huffs a laugh through his nose and props himself up on his elbow. He reaches over and easily opens the cuffs. You rub your wrists and roll you shoulders. "Better?" He asks, looking down at you, complete satisfaction visible on his face.

"Lots." You answer and he kisses your lips gently. "Thank you, Frankie.." You say. "Tonight was amazing."

"You were amazing." He answers. You lie there together for a few more minutes, relishing in how good you're feeling. "As much as I wanna stay here all night.. We need a shower and some food.." He says and he slowly gets up from the bed.

"Hmmmm, no.." You protest, frowning a little.

"Get your ass in the shower." He say as he opens your closet to find clean sheets.

When you finish your shower, Frank tosses you his shirt. “Here, wear this.” He says. “Pizza’s on it’s way.” He kisses your forehead lovingly after you pulled his shirt over your head.

How on earth did you get so lucky, you think as you admire his naked form while he walks into the bathroom for a shower of his own.

#frank castle #frank castle x female reader #frank castle x you #frank castle smut

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its-a-me-mango · 11 months ago

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yo mango, i found this in twitter(x). a creator in twitter sented this.

Oh boy, yes this is the response I was referring to in my other post, and I have some things to say about it.

TL;DR: Clarification is nice but it shouldn't be up to the employees to apologise for something that upper management should've taken accountability for anyway. I'm not accepting everything as "fixed" until Celeste says anything else.

Obligatory "we don't know everything so don't jump to conclusions!!!" disclaimer (personally I love jumping to conclusions I love drama lol)

(also my stance on what I'm doing with this account is at the bottom of it so go take a look if you wanna know what I'm gonna do)

Ok first off, let's start positive, good to have some accountability and a bit of clarification on what's happened, considering I honestly thought GLITCH was just gonna keep quiet and hope for it to brush over, having the manager tell their side of the story is a good thing.

That's all the positives I have towards this apology because the rest are all negative.

For starters, why is the manager taking full accountability for this, while yes they made the decision, the higher ups should be taking accountability, at the end of the day Jasmine is an employee of GLITCH. Normally when something happens within a company, the company itself will put out a statement taking accountability for the actions of their staff. This hasn't happened yet, it's not Jasmine's full responsibility for this, there should be recognition from the company of their mistake.

I get if they're taking a while to make a response, but it's not hard to put out a statement saying "hey, we fucked up, sorry". It would be miles better than having an employee put it out IN THEIR FAN DISCORD SERVER OF ALL PLACES, thank got it got reposted because none of us would know others.

Furthermore, what is the main message from this, the main reason for this happening? "Oops I forgot". That's such a shitty excuse, especially for a manager. I completely understand getting overworked as hell, from what I've seen Jasmine is also the manager for a lot of other things at GLITCH, and if GLITCH's Glassdoor reviews are anything to go by, overworking employees seems to be their biggest flaw.

Something like this slipping their mind would be fair and understandable under those circumstances, but that's what upper management is for, it's up to them to make sure people do what they're employed to do, that includes making sure the appropriate messages are sent out, especially for big changes like this. Of course no one likes to have a boss that questions everything you do, but having someone check that all the appropriate messages are sent out is pretty damn important for running a company.

This is ultimately a show of poor management on GLITCH's behalf, had they communicated better not just with Celeste but also with each other, this entire situation would've been avoided.

I don't think this is some catastrophic downfall that can never be resolved, it actually can be resolved quite easily. All it involves is an admission of negligence on GLITCH's side and a proper apology to be sent and accepted by Celeste. Obviously I'm not gonna go demanding such things be made public but treating this like GLITCH's downfall is just kinda silly, this can be fixed.

Yes this is bad, and you should feel upset/angry about this all happening, seeing voice actors being treated poorly and "forgotten" about sucks and doesn't reflect well on GLITCH at all, if you don't want to support GLITCH right now that's completely reasonable, but this isn't worth wishing the companies downfall over. Advocate for change, not carnage.

There is also the possibility that this whole "apology" is bullshit. More comments from SMG2's now former VA have come out about this apology.

If this is all true, then that's just as bad on GLITCH's side. Ultimately we won't know the entire story until Celeste makes any other comment, however given how taxing this has all been on her, it's understandable if she doesn't say anything now, or ever to be honest.

My love and support goes out to Celeste during this time. I hope she and GLITCH can come to some kind of agreement that allows everyone to move on.

Anyway, so about me now, haiiii

I'm likely gonna mostly hault making SMG4 art for a while due to this, I love this series and I don't like to see this all happen to it, but I care more about treating voice actors fairly and making sure they're given the respect they deserve, if that involves stopping my support for GLITCH for now then so be it. I'm hoping this gets resolved, if that does happen i'll go back to normal, if not thennnnn I'll deal with that when it happens.

I'm still happy to interact with people in this community still, there's a few ideas and pieces I want to make for other people still, things like AU arts and DTIYS's, so I'll be doing that, but as for new SMG4 art and memes, not right now. (lets face if the SMG4 community on Tumblr is so far removed from everyone else it's basically our own series out here lmao)

I'll still draw Mango don't worry, he's basically my persona so I can detach him from SMG4 for now, my silly lil guy isn't going anywhere.

I understand that a lot of people are upset by this and are trying to block it out and carry on as normal. While I understand why most of you are taking that stance, I know a lot of you are teens and SMG4 is a source of comfort for a large chunk of you, please don't just ignore all this happening. I don't even care if you take an inconclusive stance on this, just please don't block it out entirely and pretend it's not happening, that's just not fair on Celeste.

I'll be doing my best to keep up with this as much as possible. I know I've come across as overly critical during all this, but I don't like seeing people act like GLITCH has done nothing wrong and never can. It's ok if a company you like has done something shitty, they do that all the time, but its not ok to let them get away with it and pretend it never happened, that's just covering for their shitty actions. I'm not going to cover for GLITCH's shitty actions which is why I'm speaking up about it and will continue to do so until some kind of resolution is reached.

Anyway I've talked enough, if you're reading haii hello thanks for reading the whole thing , if you skimmed to the bottom I'm shooting you with lasers (/j). We'll see what comes of all this but until then take care. <3

#mangos mystery ask box #tw drama #sorry for writing +1k words. I have things to saaay

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dootznbootz · 4 months ago

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Hi!! I love your blog and I’m enjoying your Odypen headcanons and theories very much! I recently started reading the Iliad so I’m new to all this and I just want to know your opinion on smth. In song 1, lines 135-140 Agamemnon mentions the bride prizes of several Achaean leaders, including Odysseus. Obviously nothing else is mentioned, no name, just that he has one, too. What’s your take on that? Any headcanons? I honestly hate the whole cheating discourse around him and I don’t want to add more fuel to the fire because in the Odyssey he was clearly a victim!! I would just love to know what you think about this particular thing in the Iliad. Considering the historical and cultural context, having a bride prize was normal in war (albeit awful from our modern standpoint). But Odysseus is a very interesting and complicated character so this could go in many different ways with him, and in any case it doesn’t really change my opinion on his love for Penelope. Thank you! :)

Thank you so much!!! That's so kind! And I'm so happy you're reading the Iliad! I hope you enjoy it! I'm so happy you're enjoying my silly and I DO have many thoughts about it! :D

And very good that either way, it doesn't change your opinion on his love for Penelope. My opinion/interpretation regardless of those lines, that should ALWAYS be the interpretation that people have of Odysseus.

So idk if you've seen my Aspec OdyPen silliness yet and/or my "Odysseus is a half-eunich from the boar". BUT those are my headcanons. (which I can delve into further later)

but I'll go over the canon evidence now. :P

(disclaimer: Slavery is a fucked up thing regardless of the circumstances. this is in no way excusing any of it)

So IDK which translation you're reading, but as someone who's read multiple versions...Some just say "Prize", and with the "it" and "something". I...didn't really see it as a woman and/or specifically a concubine.

Let Achaeans give me another prize, equal in value, something I’ll enjoy. If not, then I’ll take a prize myself by force, something from you or Ajax or Odysseus.

(Book 1, Johnston)

Let the Achaeans find me a prize in fair exchange to my liking, or I will come and take your own, or that of Ajax or of Ulysses; and he to whomsoever I may come shall rue my coming.

(Book 1, Butler)

But if they do not give me such a gift, then I will seize your own prize or Ajax’s or Odysseus’ and carry it away, angering whomever I visit.

(Book 1, Heumann)

So to ME, (I do not know what the actual words said mean) I take "Prize" of "something of equal value" and/or just a slave.

As yeah...My Odysseus is aspec (basically Pen-romantic/Pen-sexual), I kind of plan to WRITE it personally as a bit of a thing with "Grab one of Odysseus' slaves, he doesn't use them as concubines."

And with Odysseus being the one to transport Chryseis, I have it where it's a bit of "I'll go bring her to her father. Take any slave you wish from my tent if you must. I don't care."

Agamemnon dragged a swift ship down the shore, chose twenty sailors, loaded on the oxen, offerings for the god, and led on fair-cheeked Chryseis. Shrewd Odysseus shipped on as leader. All aboard, they set off, carving a pathway through the sea.

(Book 1, Johnston)

(Also with Ajax and his girlfriend/bride prize, I think this kind of made him extremely worried. My Odysseus and Ajax have "special beef" even BEFORE the war but they are fine about it by the war. Odysseus not only doesn't have a concubine or slave woman he's attached to but he also was helping a bro out in a way lol.)

And Odysseus is a king and a piece of shit. It's horrible but it feels in character for my lil asshole to basically use pretty slaves in trading. "Hey, you like lighthaired girls, yeah? Well, you have that really pretty silver-studded sword...I want it. Would you like to exchange?"

I want to make it clear that I'm not writing like this or interpreting this in the way of "UwU Odysseus is too of a good boy for that." as that feels icky to try and "make everyone else shitty to make him 'better'". It's literally because Odysseus is just simply LIKE this. He has basically no libido/sex drive if Penelope isn't around. (I'm keeping this as safe for wormlings as I can so I'll leave it at that.)

An old wip post explains it more but I'll also put the wip itself here to kind of explain lol

My Odysseus is a "pretty boy" as he is in canon as well, and he hates when people make moves on him.

BUT these are just MY headcanons and/or what I plan to write, while I just don't really vibe with Odysseus being with folks willingly other than Penelope I have big gay for her. I live vicariously through Odysseus. I love her so much I can't stop others and other people COULD find evidence of Odysseus being with others if they truly wanted.

#sdklfj ahhh this was a fun and interesting ask! Thank you!#Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #odypen #my headcanons #essay #aspec odypen #idk how much I wanna tag this as while I really love my aspec goobers I...I've dealt with Aphobia and just bullshit in this fandom #and I'm very tired.#Dootzverse #ask #anon

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youremyheaven · 8 months ago

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Heloo admin ji! You fav desi anon this side (lol)

I can't believe I keep crying about how not more is talked about Anuradha and then boom! I saw your post and now I wanna cry 🤣🤣

One thing that I want to say to everyone reading this is just that everyone has a different interpretation of the same thing. I'm not taking sides but what I want to highlight is I might pick on different themes and someone else on different themes while analysing the same nakshtra Or anything in general. There's no harm in listening to the other person. Especially if you're self assured about who you are.

Disclaimer: Some of this may trigger y'all although I like to put it in the least offensive way possible

Now coming to the post- where shall I start, Saturn is seen as traditional and stoic. As a Saturn woman I tried very hard to be able to fit in with the ongoing trends that talked about challenging societal beliefs about traditional gender norms. But I authentically always saw myself as more of a traditional woman. Which is something I felt ashamed of. If that makes sense? And honestly Tate's content triggered me a lot (not that I was a subscriber but ofc he's in everyone's feed at this pt. lol) not only because I felt most of it was BS but also because at times I felt like hey I actually want a traditional household but not the picture that he was painting. I just want a normal guy who'll be stable, loyal and caring and ofc I never expect things that I'm not willing to give so it goes both ways. Having said that Saturnians may not be everyone's cup of tea coz we need to be sure about what we're getting into all the time. There's no room for uncertainty imo. Which can go both ways. Similarly being traditional can go towards the extreme. Something that I feel you covered in the post.

End note- We all have a good and bad side. The whole point is some people with some placements end up being on the other spectrum at times or like totally in the way they choose to live while some of us consciously realise where we can change. So my love to you all (non Saturnians included 😂❤)

P.S.- Sorry for the biggest rant of the century.

One of my old failed talking stages was an Anuradha Moon man and he had a very strict gym + diet routine + he was studying for his CA and was super disciplined and strict with himself in general. He got shit done and he was super thorough. He always made fun of podcast bros like Andrew Tate. He was a very staunch atheist and was one of those annoying people who thought anybody who had an ounce of faith was an illogical unscientific cretin and he was super aggressive with his beliefs? He made fun of me for praying 😭 It was so crazy to me how he thought Andrew was an asshole but he turned around and imposed his worldview on others without second thought. He also criticised feminism for making girls think they have to do everything men do to "be equal" and he was also super into traditional gender roles. He spoke about how women these days don't "behave like women" 🤮🤢🤮🤢etc

He also spoke about how important marriage was to him and he'd "joke" about how he'd keep me in place 🫠 after marriage? He was obsessed with being rich and would brag about his sneaker collection and if I ever complained about anything, he'd say that "people like me have real problems, you're just spoilt" 😤 I just think the nature of Saturn is that whatever they believe in, they take it to extremes. If they're religious, they'll be extremely religious but like this guy who wasn't, he was an extreme atheist. Saturn energy can make someone restricted to their worldview.

Being traditional can be a wonderful thing and I consider myself pretty traditional as well (too traditional for some crowds but too "modern" for other crowds) and many women I admire are also traditional (I'll explore more in part 2 ) but finding a traditional man who is more normal?? (Lol) is a struggle 🥲bc a lot of men just think being an alpha asshole = being traditional. The spirituality of Saturn is very inspiring as well and evolved Saturnians are so 🫶✨

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lavenoon · 2 years ago

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So we have the hostage scenario for Eclipse, which makes Sun n Moon race over to help...

But what if something similar happened to Sun and Moon? Either a hostage situation or they get supremely hurt on the job. I'm thinking like, damage they need help repairing (maybe Robin doesn't know enough to be able to help, or is also recovering, or etc etc)

Or even worse a hostage situation where the invaders feel the need to harm Sun & Moon to keep them pacified. Would they attempt to get a voice memo to Eclipse as well? Or would there be a different method they would use to get information out?

I can easily see this being resolved before Eclipse get's there/get's information about it as well. So he gets to the after-math n helps out with that instead. Maybe even speed-running a reveal if we're not at that point yet in this timeline/scenario

-G

These are more scattered thoughts rather than just one cohesive scenario like with the other ask, my apologies. (Still long af though, lmao. 2.3K words)

Anything they need help with regarding repairs, the agency definitely has covered - in First Aid, Sun/Moon insisted they can handle repairs themselves, and the agency only sent the parts, but if they were damaged to a point where they couldn't do that anymore (but are still salvageable) the agency would cover the repairs.

In cases of "technically resolved, but will need time to go back to normal" (like First Aid!) Sun/Moon do tell Eclipse - and that's a turning point in their relationship, actually. I thought about it before, and people from the server may recognize some of this ask, because it's maybe only marginally relevant to this ask but I like it and I think it's important to say actually.

Intermission regarding the repairs of First Aid specifically:

Sun and Moon did tell Eclipse. Not the day of, but the day after - after that talk with Robin, because before that they were just. preoccupied. They do almost consider sweeping it under the rug, but the hypocrisy doesn't sit well with them. So they agree to tell him, and lead with tons of disclaimers of how they're fine, the agency paid for replacements, everything vital came in quickly and it's all good, but uh, they may have been caught in an explosion

Eclipse... doesn't take it well. and he's kind of surprised, honestly. he didn't think he'd care that much (because sorry yall, he may be sad boy but he's he's also still salty af boy and has not been the friendliest either - all for good reason ofc, but at this point he's also still kinda flipping between trying to reach out and "well screw you too i don't need you"). So why does he care? Especially considering that 1) they said they're fine, and 2) he has lost more arms than his brothers have fingers. And every time he's made a point out of obviously not caring except to whine about fidgets or dropping things, while Sun/Moon roll their eyes at him and pretend they aren't more bothered than him.

So why does it bother him now, when it's them? They didn't even tell him immediately. They've been weirdly quiet for about two weeks then, and he's gotten no explanation out of them, and now he hears that they got blown up and he didn't even hear until it was resolved. He definitely feels shut out again, but the concern actually makes him ask. What's going on on their end? What's happening?

Sun and Moon, in the daze of "had extremely cathartic heart to heart with y/n, and hey, look at that! communication can be nice!" don't even hesitate and tell him.

"So the rival and the landlord we told you about may have been the same person. we found out, and before we blew up, everything else around us did metaphorically already. Sorry we've been quiet, we've just been trying to keep this from becoming an even bigger mess. We've talked, though, and we're fine. We're still waiting for a few cosmetic replacements, but we're back to fully functional"

Eclipse reads this once and relief settles in, along with that weird feeling of "huh that was much easier than expected, normally they're so cagey." Then he reads it again, and gets stuck on sentence one.

"... How is that even possible. How did no one realize. You've been talking about the same person?"

Before Sun/Moon can answer, another message follows:

"Against popular belief, I can read the room however. I'll refrain from outright making fun of you for it for the next week. After than, it's on"

The brotherly venom that follows is back in all their comfort zones, but does go on longer than usual. They go back to their previous amount of contact, with perhaps just a slight upwards trend (and a definite upwards trend once the week is up).

Eclipse does get to ruminate on his own injuries then, too - he doesn't even get full coverage by the agency anymore, because he had to be reminded of lab safety one time too many - they sat him down and told him to either do things exactly up to code, or accept partial out of pocket payment for the risk he's willingly engaging in. He chose the latter.

But if he's thinking about how he didn't even learn about it immediately, is he any better for purposefully waiting a few hours for things to settle again before letting them know? It's always a casual "ah just got home, thought id let you know" message, or before Sun/ Moon transferred he simply showed up after work and shrugged them off. Sun and Moon haven't been his emergency contacts in a while, either.

But it's lonely.

They had some straightforwardness now, some communication, and now things are improving - so his hope regrows with a vengeance (so does Sun and Moon's, especially when things with y/n also improve. Turns out the lesson "communication is important" learned in one important relationship can be generalized to your other important relationship, too!)

So that's the turning point for the brothers in canon - which translates into drastic differences in reaction pre- and post reveal in regards to a hostage situation.

(Intermission over, let's return to your actual ask)

Pre-reveal, Dusk/ Dawn may think of getting a message out to Eclipse, too - for the same tactical reasons that Eclipse thought of, too. He’s an agent, of the same agency, and it’s simply an efficient way to get information out as quickly as possible to resolve this fast. They don’t usually text him while on the job, but carry their respective phone anyway, so it’s not too much of a hassle. (But it’s already a sign for Eclipse that something is wrong, they never text him on the clock, and they very much are supposed to be working).

Same as Eclipse, they don’t expect him in the rescue party.

But - looking back to how Eclipse reacted to resolved danger, scared and upset - how is he supposed to react, hearing this? Dusk/ Dawn may not be as lighthearted as Horizon in the same situation, but they aren’t scared - so he only gets to hear his calm and collected brother, whichever is out. Dusk more snappy, Dawn more charming (in a murderous way). They get to the point quickly, and are technically more used to high stakes situations such as this, despite their limited experience as agents. They’re at least field agents. Dawn in particular knows what questions to ask, and how to ask them.

Eclipse has a harder time to argue his way into a direct transport to their location. He doesn’t think to threaten his position, but he’s just so entirely genuine in his approach - they’re his brothers, he needs to go check on them. Whether the agency helps or not - but if they send help anyway, why can’t he join? He’ll be back to work sooner, too, if they send him instead of forcing him to arrange it himself. The logic is sound, and he gets the express travel.

He doesn’t have an eclipse mode to dive back into, he is Eclipse. But the memories of the mode that made up his early life - they’re at the forefront of his mind the entire time. His brothers survived so much - but now they refuse to use that mode that let them survive so much. So he’s dealing with some misplaced guilt there, because it’s not his fault that their eclipse mode was experimental from the start, and always was a risk, he just happened to be the first (and only) consequence they ever had to deal with.

I’m… I’m going to ensure no reveal is taking place here (definitely could!) because I don’t want to take away from the brothers’ relationship. A reveal here would be rather overshadowed by “Well, I guess that might as well happen, but frankly we’re still coping with that hostage situation, so let’s just unpack that later” before they all slip into a very efficient “Alright, we’re all safe, are we? Anything we need to ensure it stays that way?” With Y/N/ Robin handling some security issues at home for their collective peace of mind, and later gets the introduction to Eclipse, too.

But we’re not doing that. I’m removing Robin from the equation - they were stuck in the same situation, perhaps, but pre-reveal they might have just taken a few reassurances from their rival to then hole up at home after pretending they’re fine. Rattled, but in the end they just invest into a bit more home security, much to the bafflement (but also relief) of their neighbor. (Who, of course, doesn’t pry.)

So Horizon gets the trip to HQ, not the duplex - but after everything is resolved, Dawn/ Dusk at least have a rather considerate supervisor, who mentions that hey, your brother requested a transport to come see you. Maybe stay in for a little while longer.

Dawn/ Dusk, baffled as the respective brother is, stays. Wakes up the other (again - depending on how dangerous the other situation got, even without the eclipse mode as an option, they prefer not being alone. Also heavily depends on where Robin was, given that Robin by that time is also a trusted work partner, even pre-reveal) and relays the information.

It’s a more subdued reunion - Eclipse isn’t as outwardly frantic, more worried if he even has any right to be concerned, and Dawn/ Dusk just feel awkward, having made him worry. They’re the big brothers, and it’s not supposed to be that way.

Once Eclipse lets slip that he was worried because they couldn’t use the eclipse mode “because of him,” that just breaks the ice. They’re quick to reassure him that everything is fine, things were handled, and they weren’t alone anyhow. Another speedrun - they make it clear that his existence is not a fault, and nothing they’re angry about, even if they mourn the safety they found in their ignorance. It always was a risk, and as far as consequences go, they’d take him any day. Something actually bad could have happened, instead of a new AI one of theirs (or both) could have been fried, maybe beyond repair, he’s the best case scenario and they are glad they found out to better not use the mode anymore through him.

The reunion swaps focus here, because oops, that’s something Eclipse can’t just hear and not ask about. The way they reacted back then -

Was stupid. They didn’t know what was going on, and took it out on him, which wasn’t fair. That’s, uh, actually something they feel rather bad about these days.

Eclipse just. folds. Sits down, surprise evident on his face, and doesn’t really know how to process that kind of revelation.

Sun/ Moon look at their brother, and after a moment they sigh, tension dropping from their shoulders. Sit down next to him, as relaxed as they allow themselves at work, and just smile at him.

“Thanks for coming, sorry we made you worry. Suppose your methods have their advantages - good thing we didn’t care about the regulations regarding confidential information.”

That gets Eclipse to laugh, too - and they can talk a little more about what exactly happened.

It’s still a short visit, all in all - a day or two at most, and Eclipse agrees to stay in a hotel room instead of the duplex - Sun/ Moon are a little blunt when they explain they simply cannot deal with their nice landlord learning about their job, too, right now - and Eclipse does note that he’d probably manage to mention something incriminating. No hard feelings - only relief, and a slightly better relationship the brothers can start fostering.

Post reveal, there are no secrets. The actual danger goes over pretty much as pre-reveal - just that Robin doesn't leave after, and helps mediate - they are too tired to deal with the brothers’ weirdness, so they’ll cut that starting awkwardness short. Similarly to the reveal scenario in this context, they would focus on improving the security at their home, but also announce they’ll be with the boys shortly. Greets Eclipse happily, exhausted as they are, and tells him not to worry too much, his brothers are too stupid to die so early.

Gets an offended “hey!” and a snort from Eclipse in return, and whatever ice there was is broken. The brothers’ relationship is already much better at this point, after talking some things out, and with the intent in all of their minds to fix things. Whatever issues remain unresolved at this point, they push them away, because they know the other side cares, and that’s all that matters right now.

They skip right into what happened, and Eclipse offers some new gadgets to keep their home safe, and some to carry on their persons to keep them safe on the job, too. More than warranted, technically, but none of them really say no to feeling a little extra safe.

(Robin of course also gets decked out. Eclipse knows how important they are to his brothers’, and even in the case of this being their first meeting, he cares about them enough already. They’re nice to him - tired, maybe, but they joked with him immediately, and the boy gets attached easily. There’s also the fact that he’d know how involved they were, and that they care about Sun/ Moon’s safety too, so it’s sort of a mutual understanding that everyone gets extra gadgets)

I. I didn’t say anything about Dusk/ Dawn being potentially harmed in this scenario - but we are at over 2K words for this already, so I’ll just declare that they’re 1) smart enough to dodge getting hurt, and 2) have some serious dumb luck, and set this out in the world <3

#answer let luce #G asks #accidentally undercover #Okay so yes a bunch of this was recycled (read: copypasted from discord and slightly edited)#but this still got out of hand #I'm slowly but surely working on my inbox #sorry I'm a little quiet these days I still very much have ideas and all #... also not doing the masterlist update today tho #feel like there's not enough to justify it #once the renovations at my place will be over and I don't have to worry about that anymore I hope to get back into it #just currently don't feel like I have the mental capacity for big things #so the drabble bit I have is taunting me from google docs #but! I managed this! so! <3 #have fun! <3

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pidrat · 5 months ago

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The experiences of an agender person

This is just my experiences with things. Uhhh pretend there's something really clever written here.

Gender clothing: Alright now idk about others but I do understand that dresses and skirts are for "girls". But I just never felt it. I have two dresses and two skirts. I don't feel feminine or anything wearing them. It's just an I'm wearing clothes. This also goes for "masculine" clothes. Like those with dinosaurs or something like that. It's just hey I'm wearing clothes.

Being called by my dead name: Now this may be controversial. Well guess I have to get into this since I can't stall forever. I personally don't care. It's not something that upsets me or anything. The only reason I made my own name is because I don't like mine since I think it sucks. I get called by my old name all the time. Although I'm still in the closet to those around me IRL. Yeah that probably plays into that.

Pronouns: Yep it's that time. Now I feel absolutely no connection to any. And no I'm not gonna make any up. Even if I do I still wouldn't have any sort of connection to them. Now I stick with the three (she/he/they btw) for personal reasons. That being I personally don't like everything else. So it's just the three for me.

How I found out: Alright this is gonna sound really corny. But while online I found the term. It immediately clicked. Before terms felt like putting the square peg into the circle hole. But when I found yhis term it was like putting the circle peg into the circle hole. Basically everything started to make sense. Ik Ik it probably sounds pretty stupid but it's true.

Being called "person": I refer to myself as both girl/woman and boy/man since I'm iffy on being called person. It feels kinda dehumanizing and is weird to say. Idk that could just be me. I don't like anything else as it feels weird or is dehumanizing

Gender dystopia: Oh boy now if anything in this is gonna upset people it's gonna be this. So I will just say this right now. All thoughts in this section are directly affected by my gender identity. Now that we have that disclaimer I can start. Now all my life I have never experienced this. In fact before finding out I'm agender I thought it wasn't really a thing. Like my apathy towards gender was normal. (Well okay that isn't necessarily true. I thought that people just kinda didn't care. Not as much as me but still.) I thought that it was just a "oh I don't like that please don't call me that" sort of thing. Like if someone was purposely mispronouncing your name (like Mek instead of Mike).

How I feel about "representation": There is literally no agender characters I can think of (except one that isn't cannon but is agender coded) that isn't just pandering. It's always "hey look they're agender aren't we cool?" But they never go into what it means or feels to be. It's just a hollow representation with no care since they don't care about having a good agender character where their gender plays into any part of the character. They just want to be seen as "progressive". I hate how my gender is used as an accessory for characters. I say either write them with care and consideration as to how it effects them or just don't make them agender. It's that simple.

Welp this is the end of what will probably be my longest post ever (or at least for a long time). If anyone want to ask me about certain things or want to see another post going over more stuff then I can make a part 2. But for now thank your reading this essay of a post.

- Pidrat

#lgbtq #lgbtqia #agender #my experiences #long post ik #personal thoughts

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mental-health-advice · 2 years ago

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Submission about suicidal ideation

Hi, I hope it's fine to talk about this here and it doesn't trigger anyone, but I don't know who to talk to about this and I'm not an immediate danger to myself I promise. I've had suicidal ideation for... I'd say years, I go to a therapist and since I was doing pretty good lately, we're working on being more in the moment and connecting to my emotions and I've been trying very hard to get better and take good habits, it works to a degree but I've been feeling very suicidal for 3 days now, (1/?)

it comes and goes, when it gets bad my brain feels like static and I can't focus, I was in a meeting yesterday and I felt split in two, a part taking notes, reacting, even smiling and making jokes and the other thinking about how to kill myself. When I came home yesterday I tried hanging myself to a doorknob, I stopped when my vision started greying out, mostly because I don't want to cause pain to my friends and family. I don't even know why I'm like that, I have a well-paying job, (2/?)

great friends, but I feel like I'll never achieve anything meaningful or provide the people in my life with something they can't get from literally anyone else close to them. I just loathe myself and feel like it would take a few months tops for everyone to realize that they don't miss me. I don't dare reach out to my friends in such blunt terms because I know it's irrationnal and it'll hurt them, so I sugar coat it and give 10 disclaimers about how I'm acutally fine before talking about (3/?)

these thoughts, so they don't really worry I think, sometimes I feel like they don't believe me but that must be just me thinking that. I don't know what the point of that message is I just needed this off my chest and to someone who wouldn't judge me or be hurt by it, so I googled for where to talk about mental health anonymously and yous blog came up. Thank you and sorry if this caused any distress. (4/4)

Hey there,

From past and also current personal experience I know that when starting to work on ourselves like for example being more in the moment and connecting more to your emotions, it can cause us to destabilise a bit mental health wise. This can happen for many reasons such as working on things too fast or something being discussed being triggering for us even though it may not seem like it at the time. Due to this and the fact you have been feeling more suicidal since beginning to work on this stuff, I would strongly to encourage you to speak to your therapist about what you have been experiencing suicidal wise, when it first started and how severe it has gotten than how it normally is. Your therapist will then be able to adjust your therapy as needed to help lessen the suicidality you have been experiencing as of late.

In regards to feeling as though your mind is being spilt into two, it may be helpful to try some different grounding techniques to help you to feel more in the here and now and focus more on what is happening around you and consequently slowing your thought process down. Is this something you could try to give a go?

It can also be really helpful to chat to your friends even if it’s just about stuff in general or about if you’re having a bad day. Chatting and keeping in contact with your friends can be helpful as just having that connection with someone can help you feel less alone and in a way like you matter and have a reason to keep being in their lives.

I want you to also know that if you are feeling actively suicidal then it is of upmost importance that you reach out to someone in real time, whether it be with your therapist if they are available, your local mental health team, or calling an ambulance or getting yourself to your local hospital. I know that reaching out in times that you need it most can be scary and hard and especially when you want to so badly act on your urges, but just try to remember how far you have come on your recovery journey and that you do not have to go through any of this alone!

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going well!

Take care,

Lauren

#mha-lauren #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #anonymous #suicidal ideation #therapy #therapist

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fangirlovestuff · 3 years ago

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Flung Out of Space - Natasha Romanoff x reader

a/n - hey lovely people!! merry christmas to all that celebrate it:)) so, i’ve been wanting to write this fic for a while and i’m really glad i got to, this is heavily inspired by the movie Carol, which is basically a gay christmas movie. i love it, and so i’ve cast natasha in the role of carol and reader in the role of therese and sort of rolled from there. i hope you enjoy<3

summary: You’ve been waiting for something bigger than this job at the departement store, maybe being a photographer. That something big comes to you in the form of one stunning Natasha Romanoff, who understand you better than you understand yourself. You’ll both never be the same.

word count: 8k

warnings: implied smut, mentions of a gun (no one uses it), angst, responsible alcohol consumption, mentions of divorce, mentions of homophobia, language. all of the men in this story are trash, it’s nothing personal.

disclaimer: i think this reads well even if you haven’t watched the movie, but if you’re intending to watch it, maybe wait with this fic since it contains the majot plot points:) also, i left a couple of characters like they are in the movie, and some are marvel characters i “cast”, so if you don’t know a name it’s probably from the movie. also also, i did use the plot of the movie and some direct quotes, with some changes, but still - stuff from the movie are obviously not mine and i don’t claim them to be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You almost thought she wouldn't show up. That it was all some sort of joke, or dream. Sitting alone at that table, you were starting to beat yourself up again, because how could you be so stupid again, and why, for once in your life could you not say no to any-

But there she was. There she was, in that light grey coat that brought out her sharp, bright blue eyes, red hat resting on top of neat red hair. Put together.

There was something utterly enchanting about her. There always has been, since that very first day you met her. You couldn't look away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a normal day until she came in.

It's not like you expected a job at a big department store to be interesting. You took it because it was just a job to bring in some money, so you wouldn't have to depend on Ri- on anyone. Maybe if they decided to give you a holiday bonus you could get a proper camera, better than the old one you have now.

See, being a photographer would be interesting. But who would ever let you do it? no one. You're not even good.

So, it wasn't often you were interested in your work. You were barely ever fully in the moment, lost in your own head more often than not. That's why it took you by surprise to notice the woman's presence from all the way across the store. That was the first reason you knew she was special.

You locked eyes with her from across the room, and for a moment, your thoughts vanished, every fiber of your being focused solely on her. The first thought you regained was why is everyone else not looking? How can they not be this captivated?

The second one was that obviously, they weren't doing so because it's rude to stare. Like you were doing right now.

Hurriedly, you lowered your eyes, swallowing dryly.

Thankfully, a customer came up to ring up her purchase, and then another mother with her little girl asked where the bathroom was, and you've nearly forgotten all about the lady, your thoughts taking over again, until she was standing right in front of you.

"Hello," she smiled at you, reading out your name from your name tag. It sounded prettier than ever falling easily from her lips.

"Hi," you replied, rattling off the automatic response, "happy holidays, how may I assist you?"

"Well," the woman said, "I'm looking for this doll, hold on," she took out a note from her bag and slid it to you over the counter. It had the name of a doll you knew was out of stock, which is what you told her.

"Oh, what a shame. My daughter wanted it for so badly," she furrowed her brows slightly, still sending you a small smile. "Oh well. Tell me, when you were a little girl, what did you wish for as a Christmas present?"

"A train set," you answered, your lack of hesitation taking you by surprise. It was true, but you were surprised you'd said it this readily.

The woman chuckled warmly. "Well then, I'll take the train set."

"No problem ma'am, we can have it delivered to you just in time for Christmas if you want, our new fast shipping takes about three business days," you informed her with a smile.

"Thank you, you're a real saint."

You took down her shipping address, credit card number, and the exact train model. "And your name, ma'am?"

"Natasha Romanoff," she answered.

"Alright. Here's your receipt, and that train set should be there in a few days' time," you smiled. Your fingers brushed hers as you grabbed the piece of paper from her hand.

She smiled back and thanked you once more before leaving the store. She had such an elegant way to her, dignified and yet humorous and kind. Like you wished you were.

Looking down, you noticed her glove was left there. You looked up to call after her, but she was already gone, and you couldn't leave the register. Looking down again, a plan was formed in your mind. You did have her shipping address, after all, so it would be the kind thing to do, spread the holiday spirit a little.

You kept wondering if she'd gotten the glove, or if her daughter will like the train set. But it’s not like these questions will be answered.

You were pondering it once more when you heard your name being called.

"Phone call for you," your manager called out, and you signaled one of your coworkers to take your place at the register as you stepped up to the phone.

"Hello?"

"It's Natasha, Natasha Romanoff. I just wanted to thank you, for the glove and the train set. I'm sure when Rindy's going to open it, she'll love it. How can I repay you?"

"Oh, it's nothing, Ms. Romanoff," you tried to fight the grin off your face. You didn't even know why you were smiling.

"No, really. Tell you what, I'm in town again this noon, so how about we meet for lunch? My treat."

"Well, that's so kind of you, Ms. Romanoff, but I-"

"Call me Natasha. Please." You thought you heard the trace of a smile in her voice.

"Natasha. I have a very short lunch break, and I wouldn't want to inconvenience you in terms of your schedule-"

"Oh, nonsense. Do you have a pen and paper to write the name of the restaurant? It's called Viognier"

You were smiling now, "Viognier?"

"It's French," she answered with a smile. "Are you writing down the address?"

You wrote down the name and address she gave you.

"Thank you, M- Natasha," you corrected.

"Of course. I look forward to seeing you," she said, and you hung up the phone and got back to work, thoughts racing at full speed.

She was so puzzling, Natasha Romanoff. You wondered if lunch would help you figure her out better.

As it turns out, it didn't.

Natasha was talking to the waiter, but you couldn’t focus on what she was saying, looking at her lipstick-red lips instead.

"And for you, ma'am?" the waiter asked.

"Oh," you skimmed the menu quickly, "um, I'll just have whatever she's having."

"The dish or the drink, ma'am?"

"Both," you smiled shyly at Natasha, who only returned your smile warmly.

"I hope your daughter would like the gift," you started hesitantly.

"Yeah, I'm sure Rindy will like it," Natasha smiled, taking out a cigarette case from her purse. "Would you like one?" she extended it to you.

"Oh, no, thank you."

She lit the cigarette between her lips, puffing out the smoke. You've never liked smokers much, but a part of you itched to take a photograph of her smoke-shrouded face. The other part ached to uncover her face from behind the smoke.

Both parts thought she was beautiful.

And you're staring again.

You cleared your throat. "So how old is she? Rindy?"

"Six," Natasha smiled, her gaze fixed somewhere behind you before focusing back on you. "She's staying with her father until tomorrow, then spending Christmas with me."

"Her father?" you asked, puzzled, before you could realize what you're saying. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to pry-"

"It’s alright," she chuckled, that enchanting twinkle of amusement dancing in her eyes. "Bucky, well, James. My husband, for now. We're getting a divorce."

"Oh." You opened your mouth to say something, anything, but you had no idea what.

"What about you," Natasha took mercy on you, "Anyone special?"

"Well, there's Richard, my, uh, my boyfriend. He's trying to convince me to go to France with him. I think he'd like my hand in marriage." The words came easily, without a thought. Sitting in front of Natasha, everything else faded away, including the noise of your thoughts.

"And would you like to marry him?" she inquired with a curious smile.

"Well. I can't even decide what to order for lunch," you answered simply, smiling.

Your smile got wider when she let out a small laugh at your words. What a wonderous sound.

"What a stranger girl you are." And when she said your name again, it sounded even better than the last time.

"Why do you say that?"

"Flung out of space," she answered softly.

Maybe it was a jab at you for having your head in the clouds. Or maybe it meant something else you didn't understand. It wasn't hard to believe she knew something you didn't. In fact, if she'd told you she knew everything, you'd believe her.

"Here's your plate ma'am."

Oh, right. You were sitting at a restaurant, waiting for your food. That's where you are.

"You know, you're probably quite the city girl," Natasha said, scooping up a piece of her food on her fork, blowing on it softly before wrapping her lips around it and taking the bite.

She's waiting for you to reply.

"Oh, well. I actually prefer the country," you shrugged. That's why Richard's been trying to get me to go to the French countryside, you wanted to say. But talking about Richard felt wrong. "I live in the city because it's more comfortable," you said instead, taking a bite out of your own plate. It was delicious.

"Really? Well in that case, you should really come by my house sometime," she smiled at you, her blue eyes seemingly the brightest source of light in the dim restaurant. "I live not far out into the country. Besides, I probably wouldn't know how to assemble that train set myself anyway."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So you're going away with her, but not with me? You don't even know her!"

"Yes," you answered, fighting to keep your cool as you pushed a couple of shirts into the small suitcase. Yes was your go-to answer. It only sucked sometimes.

"Are you serious right now? I've been trying to get you to come with me for months and now you're just taking a trip with this total stranger?"

"it's not- I owe her a favor."

"Oh really? I don't think that's true. You don't even know her long enough to owe her shit!" Richard yelled. "What, you have some sort of sick crush on this woman?"

"No!" you yelled back, finally breaking, "please, just stop yelling about this!"

"You're the one yelling about this!" he didn't lower his voice. "Tell you what, if you are seriously walking out of this door right now with this fucking suitcase we're done. Done, you hear me?"

"Bye Richard," you mumbled, stuffing the last few items in your suitcase and closing it.

"Really? We've been together for years and you're gonna throw that away just like that for this total stranger?"

You can't talk to me like that, Richard! You wanted to scream, you've never really loved me, you don't even respect me! You don't even support me!

"Yes," you answered instead, your voice a mere whisper.

He left.

You locked the apartment door behind you and went down the stairs, getting into Natasha's car and greeting her with a smile.

"Ready to go?" she asked.

"Sure am," you smiled.

You were driving around in silence for a while. It was fine. It gave you space to think about Richard. Yes, he's never truly loved you. But really, have you ever loved him?

"What are you thinking about?" Natasha asked.

"Nothing," you shrugged, "just… nothing."

"Okay. By the way, could we stop and get a tree on the way? If it doesn't bother you. I promised Rindy I'd get one."

"Of course," you smiled, "no problem at all."

It took only a little while longer for you to get to the tree farm. Natasha parked the car and got out to buy a tree, telling you she'd be just a moment.

In the windy December air, strands of her red hair flew across her face. She reached to tuck them away, only for them to do the same moments later.

You couldn't resist the urge now, taking your camera out from your bag and adjusting it to snap a few photos of her. Only a couple, so you won't finish the film. After all, you never got any holiday bonus.

You had to put the tree inside the car, its trunk in the backseat, and its branches and leaves a barrier between you.

"Did you take a picture of me?" she asked, "When I got the tree?"

Her face was hidden behind the greenery, but she didn't sound angry.

"I- I'm sorry, I should've asked you first."

"It's alright," she chuckled, and you relaxed a little into your seat. "You should show me these once you develop them. You like taking photos?"

"I do," you answered bashfully.

Natasha only hummed in response.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Mommy!"

The happy cry of the little girl was the first thing that reached your ears once you opened the door at Natasha's house.

"My princess!" Natasha picked Rindy in her arms and spun her around, "look what we brought you!" Natasha balanced Rindy on her hip with one hand and pointed at the car with the other.

"A Christmas tree!" she yelled gleefully, "thank you mommy!"

"Of course, pumpkin," Natasha smiled at her daughter, "I promised I'd get you one. You want to help decorate it later?"

"Can I be in charge of decorating, and you'll help me?"

"Why of course, I should've suggested that from the start!" she pressed her finger into Rindy's side, tickling her, and the girl laughed. "C'mon, let's go inside and eat first."

Natasha was so strong. Not only physically, even though you're sure it was an effort lifting up the girl like that. But little Rindy had dark hair, presumably like her father's. she wasn't just Natasha's. And yet Natasha didn't care, and loved her more than anything, and that was apparent. Loving so loudly must require undeniable strength.

That afternoon Natasha and Rindy worked on the tree, and you mostly sat and watched them from afar, brought them tea as well. Rindy did have a lot of her mother in her after all, her confident posture and charming blue eyes. It was heartwarming, to see them like this. It was a togetherness you never really got, bittersweet domesticity like you've never known, never been a part of, always an observer.

That night, after Rindy had gone to bed, you were sitting at the piano in the living room, mindlessly playing an old song you learned long ago, the only one you still remembered. Natasha had been sitting on the floor, no shoes on, her stocking-clad legs tucked beneath her as she sipped on a glass of one. She offered you one, but you refused politely. You didn't feel like you need it.

You jumped at the touch of warm hands on your shoulders. So immersed in your thoughts, you didn't notice Natasha creeping up on you.

"It's beautiful," she said softly, looking straight into your eyes, straight into your soul, it seemed.

"I- thank you. It's just an old song."

Before Natasha could reply there was a loud knock at the door.

"Who could it be at such an hour?" she wondered out loud, a small crease forming between her eyebrows. She went to open the door, and you only dared to peek at the entrance from behind the wall.

"Bucky? What are you doing he-"

"Where's Rindy?" the man asked, pushing past Natasha and making his way inside. You ducked back behind the wall, but you'd seen him – tall, broad, with dark hair like Rindy's. and the name – Bucky, didn't leave you any doubt as to who it was.

"Asleep in her bed," Natasha answered, and the sound of footsteps ceased, "What's going on?"

"She's coming with me to her grandmother," he answered.

"Right now? But Bucky, we agreed she'd be here Christmas morning and then go to your parents', and she's not packed, and for god's sake, she's asleep!"

You didn't know Natasha for a long time, but you had the sense she's not a woman who folds a lot. But right now, she sounded on the edge of desperate.

"Yeah, but she should come with me, sh- who is that?"

You didn't notice them come closer, and you were still standing with your back to the wall when they came into the living room.

"Bucky, listen, this isn't wh-"

"No, this is exactly what I think it is, isn't it? Well, you're not doing that with my daughter in your house. Not anymore!" he started storming upstairs, Natasha only sparing you a frantic glance before following him.

"Bucky, I swear to you, she just-"

You couldn't make out their argument from upstairs, so you sat at the piano stool and waited. You waited until they came down the stairs, Rindy in the man's hands. In Bucky's hands. When Natasha held her, she looked strong. When he did, he looked menacing. Too big for this small child.

They went outside, and once more you couldn't decipher what was going on, but Natasha was the only one that came back in, tears shining in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she said shakily, blinking her tears away, and going to her bag, taking out the cigarette packet and pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers. "Just when you think it can't get any worse, you run out of cigarettes," she sighed. "There's a train back to the city in a couple of hours. I'll give you a ride to the station."

That car ride was silent all throughout, a mumbled "thanks for the ride" from you the only goodbye said.

By the time you were home again, it was after 2 am already. And yet, your floor's phone was ringing.

"Hello?" you answered in a whisper.

And even over the phone, you loved it when she said your name. "I just wanted to apologize again, and see you got home safe."

"Yeah, I'm home," you whispered back.

"Good. Can I come by tomorrow? I'll bring a better apology with me. Promise."

"Okay," you answered hesitantly, "but Natasha, I wanna know. I think. I mean, I wanna ask you things. But I'm not sure that you want that."

"Ask me things," she whispered her reply, her voice breaking, "please."

"Okay. Goodnight Natasha," you whispered.

"Goodnight."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was finally Christmas. You spent the morning roaming the streets, the shops. You still had a bit of money saved from Richard's gift that you wouldn't be buying, so maybe you'd spend it on something for yourself. Not enough for a camera, but enough for a record or two, maybe.

You entered the record store, flipping through the different genres aimlessly, until you found what you were looking for, even though you didn't know you were.

It was the record with the song you'd played to her on the piano. You didn't know if it was a present to you or to her yet, but you asked the cashier to wrap it.

In the early afternoon there was a knock at your door. You opened it to reveal Natasha, suitcase in tow, put together once more. She was as beautiful as always, but there was a different sort of beauty to her when she unraveled, hair down, strong and on the edge of desperate. You almost weirdly missed it, even if the circumstances when you'd seen her like that weren't… great.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," she smiled.

"Not at all. Come on in," you gestured with a small smile.

"So. You got any photographs in here?" she asked, and maybe you actually liked the teasing glint in her eyes the best.

"Well, not the ones I took of you, but I do have some. Hold on," you went to a small cabinet in your kitchen, reaching to the back of it to pull out your stack of treasured photographs, the ones you liked the most so you kept.

You couldn't help but examine Natasha's face as closely as she was examining the photos. Seeing every twitch of her lips, every quirk of an eyebrow. "These are great," she complimented once she was done. "Is that what you want to be? A photographer?"

"I think so," you answered. "If I have any talent for it."

"Isn't that something other people let you know you have? All you can do is keep working. Use what feels right. Throw away the rest."

You could only nod at her words, not knowing what to say until she spoke up again.

"Now I'm glad I bought it."

"Huh?"

"Your gift. Come on," she led you to where she had left her suitcase. "Close your eyes," she winked, and you did, grinning as you listened to the sound of the zipper opening.

"Now… open them," she instructed gently.

In front of you, on top of the suitcase, was a camera. A real, good, new camera.

"I- Natasha, thank you so much, I don't even know… I mean, I couldn't possibly-"

"Nonsense," she dismissed, "it's a thank you for the glove and an apology, so just do me a favor and accept it."

"I- thank you," you repeated softly, still stunned.

"You're welcome, dear. Now, can I smoke in here?"

"There's a smoke detector. We could go on the roof," you suggested.

"Good. Lead the way," she gestured.

You led her onto your apartment building's roof, and watched as she leaned on the railing, lighting a cigarette. She sighed the smoke out through her red lips. "I'm going away for a while," she said.

Your brows furrowed on their own, and you spoke before you could think. "When? Where?"

"Wherever my car will take me." She took another puff of the cigarette and exhaled. "West. Soon. Bucky has Rindy for at least a month. He's lawyered up, with the divorce, and-" she sighed, "he won't let me see her for a few months."

A heavy silence settled between you. "And, I thought, perhaps, you might want to come with me," she continued. "Would you?

You didn't really think about it, but you knew that this time, it was right to say it. "Yes. Yes, I would."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You've never been on a road trip before.

Natasha and you stopped at a diner at the side of the road to have an early supper.

"Oh, I got you something too," you remembered. You considered giving it to her when you were packing, but it didn't feel like the right moment. You took out the wrapped record and extended it to her. "Open it."

"Oh, you shouldn't have," she smiled. You reached for your camera. "God, don't," she chuckled once she saw it, "I look a mess." She reached to smooth down her hair and you giggled.

"Come on, open it," you encouraged, "I'll get your reaction. It's good practice."

She huffed out another laugh and tore through the wrapping paper, and her face lit up when she saw the record. You took a picture, but you weren't sure if even the most advanced camera could've captured her lips with quite the same effect as seeing them in person.

"It has the song I played. On the piano," you explained bashfully.

"It's wonderful. Thank you," she smiled.

"Merry Christmas," you replied softly.

"Merry Christmas," she repeated.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next week or so were spent driving. Lots and lots of driving. And stopping at a different motel every night.

At first you were hesitant, but you found it hard to stay that way in Natasha's company. She was always so assured, eloquent, regal almost in the way she carried herself. It was still a little odd to you that wherever she walked, not every singly person turned in her direction, gravitated towards her. Wasn't it the most natural thing in the world to do?

"Here, try this lipstick on," she said, giving you a red lipstick that seemed a shade darker than the one she was usually wearing. Although right now, she wasn't wearing any makeup, and you were both sitting on the carpeted floor of the motel you were in, the second night of the trip.

You applied it carefully and smacked your lips exaggeratedly a couple of times, making Natasha laugh. Her laugh was just as captivating as the rest of her.

"Now mascara," she extended another tube to you and took the lipstick back, your fingers brushing in the process. It inevitably happened a lot in the last few days, with you being around each other all the time. You liked it.

When you finished, she handed you a mirror, and you gaped at the woman staring back at you.

"You look great!" Natasha laughed at your stunned expression. "Beautiful," she murmured softly as you continued to look in the mirror.

The next day you were driving. Again.

"Are you thinking about Richard?" she asked.

"No," you answered. "I haven't thought about him all day. Or of home, really. Not yesterday either. Not the day before that. We're not… together anymore."

"Oh."

You talked on the road a lot. Sometimes you'd tell her funny stories about clients at the department store. She told you about her daughter a lot. You knew she loved her, her emotions apparent to you in the way her eyes lit up and her red lips quirked upwards just slightly.

You thought sometimes she looked at you like that, but it was probably just a trick of the light.

The fourth night you got into another motel. Again.

The woman at reception greeted you warmly and explained about their available rooms at Natasha's request.

"Our standard rooms come equipped with stereophonic console radios, or we do have the Presidential Suite available for a very attractive rate," she said.

"Two standard rooms should be fine then," Natasha took out her wallet to pay.

"Why not take the Presidential Suite?" you asked suddenly, surprising yourself. And Natasha as well, apparently, as she turned to look at you with that amused expression of hers. "I mean, if the rate's attractive," you shrugged.

"Sure. You're right, the rate is attractive," Natasha smiled, "We'll take it."

You didn't take separate rooms anymore. The endless hours on the roads, although seeming to you as fleeting moments, as not enough time, had brought you closer.

The fifth night, she was taking a shower and you had just come back into the room.

"Is that you?" she asked, and once you confirmed, continued, "can you fetch me my blue sweater? It's in my suitcase."

"Sure, hold on."

You opened her suitcase and started rummaging through it, trying not to leave a lot of mess. You found the sweater, but when you took it out, a glint caught your attention. You moved the clothes to uncover a small gun.

"Hey, you alright?" she called out.

"Yep, found it," you answered, hastily covering the gun again.

The next day you knew you had to say something.

"Do you feel safe?" you asked her. "With me?"

She only let out a baffled chuckle.

"If you weren't feeling safe, you would tell me," you continued, "right?"

"I mean yes. I guess so," she smiled. Even though she didn't take her eyes off of the road, you could see that familiar glint of amusement in them, and everything was okay.

You had a glass of wine with her the sixth night, giggling together about nothing and everything, and going to sleep with a pleasant feeling bubbling in your stomach. You took some pictures that night, like you did every day. Of her.

The next day was New Year's Eve.

You'd gotten a bottle of champagne from room service, and it wasn't that cold. This was a motel after all. So you went to the icebox to grab some ice.

Struggling a little, fumbling with the cold, you were grateful when a man came up next to you.

"Need help with that?" he smiled.

"Um, thank you," you said, somewhat awkwardly, as he got you the ice.

"Thanks, again. Goodnight," you smiled at him when he was done.

"You're welcome. Happy new year!" he smiled back.

You went back to the room, putting the champagne in the ice until it cooled. You sat at the vanity, which was the only table in the small room, and poured two glasses, extending one to Natasha, who was standing behind you.

"Happy new year," she smiled, raising her glass.

"Happy new year," you echoed, clinking your glass against hers, then taking a small sip, Natasha doing the same.

You turned back to face the mirror and she sighed. "Bucky and I never spend New Year's Eve together. Always a business function. Always clients to entertain."

"Well," you replied, "I always spend New Year's alone. In crowds." Looking into her eyes through the mirror, you added, "I'm not alone this year."

"Yeah," she murmured as you turned your head to look at her, tilting it up.

You were drowning, without your thoughts but with so many feelings you thought you would suffocate, and it never felt like that with Richard, how could it? he was never her.

If you wouldn't have closed the distance you thought you could have died. There was no other choice but to breath. Natural, undeniable.

Kissing Natasha was like fresh air, but also knocked the air out of your lungs, and also it was new and exciting but also achingly familiar as you drowned in the smell of her, stronger than you ever got to sense it, drowned in her lips, which you spent hours familiarizing yourself with from afar.

You ended up on a bed, and she was kissing along your neck, murmuring into your collarbones, "My angel. Flung out of space."

And you finally understood. You understood, and your entire body was thrumming with anticipation and with yes. And this was the most beautiful your name has ever sounded, you were now certain, falling from her lips like this. You knew now what it meant to be on the good edge of desperate and you've never loved anything more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Good morning," you whispered as the first rays of sun burst through the window, caressing Natasha's arm. Her skin was smooth and milky and finally familiar.

"Morning," she smiled sleepily.

"I'll get up, see if I can get us some breakfast and if there's any mail maybe. Be back in a bit."

"Okay," she sighed, her eyes still closed.

Breakfast was only served in a designated room, but you did get two coffees, and, surprisingly, one letter addressed to Natasha.

Also surprisingly, she was up and dressed when you came back, and had almost finished packing your suitcases back up. Not that you unpacked much in the first place.

You handed her a coffee, made the way you knew she took it, with a smile. She took a grateful sip and sent you a bright smile.

"There was a letter for you," you said, handing it to her and taking her place putting her clothes back in her suitcase as she opened it.

Her face was growing darker by the second though, and by the time she was done reading you had already hastily finished packing, now tensely focused on her face.

"My suitcase," she said curtly, her jaw locking. "I need- where's my suitcase?"

"It's right here," you answered, showing her. "Natasha, what happened?"

"Where is it," she mumbled, opening her suitcase and moving the clothes around in a frenzy.

"What's going on?" you asked again, your worry increasing, and increasing even more when she found what she was apparently looking for. The gun.

"Natasha, please, tell me what's wrong!"

But it was to no avail. You followed her as she went out of the room and let herself into the neighboring room, where the man who helped you with the ice last night was.

As was equipment. Lots of wires and electrical parts, connected inside the suitcase. And to the wall his room shared with yours.

"Where's the tape?" Natasha asked, pointing the gun at the man, her eyes filling with tears. Was it rage? Sadness? What did the letter even say?

The man raised his arms from where he was rolling up some wires. "Whoa, let's calm down and-"

"Where's the tape, bastard?" Natasha repeated, cocking the gun. "How much did he give you for it? I'd give you more."

"I'm sorry ma'am, but I don't have it. I sent it already. I get paid to be good at my job."

"You sick-" she breathed heavily, "how could you do this?"

"As I said, I get paid to be good at my job. Your husband paid me to get this tape and get it to him as soon as possible, and I did. Nothing personal."

She stared at him for a few more tense moments as you processed what he just said, processed what the device was, what tape she was talking about.

This was all your fault. She could lose Rindy over this. And all because you were stupid enough to say yes.

Then, Natasha sighed shakily, lowering the gun and storming out. She put it back in the suitcase, and wordlessly, you helped her get the suitcases into the car. And you drove off.

"We're going to Chicago," she said.

You didn't answer, still looking out of your window.

"What are you thinking? You know how many times a day I ask you that?" Natasha asked sternly.

"Sorry," you sighed. "What am I thinking? I'm thinking that I'm utterly selfish."

"Don't do this. You had no idea. How could you have known?"

"I should have said no to you, but I never say no," you continued, tears filling your eyes. "And it's selfish because... because I just take everything, and I don't even know anything. And I don't even know what I want. How could I when all I ever do is say yes to everything?"

You couldn't stifle your sobs anymore, turning your head even further towards the window and breathing rapidly, trying to compose yourself as quickly as possible. You weren't even the one that should be falling apart right now. If anyone had the right to do so, it's her.

Natasha abruptly stopped at the side of the road. She turned to you, and gently reached out and tilted your face towards her.

"Listen to me," she said softly, and you looked into her eyes. It was a force of nature that drew you to always look at her, stronger than you. "I took what you gave willingly. It's not your fault. Okay?"

You swallowed around the lump in your throat, only managing to nod as your answer. It was enough for Natasha, who went back to driving.

You got to Chicago that evening. You would've marveled at the large city and its lights if it were any other day.

"Ah, a real bed," Natasha sighed, plopping down on one of the beds in your room.

Not answering, you sat down on the other and took off your shoes.

"You don't have to, you know," she whispered. "Sleep in the other bed."

You got up and made your way to her outstretched arms, not even changing your clothes. Just being engulfed by her was almost overwhelming again, and with everything that happened that day and the night before, you fell asleep in no time, her comforting smell the last thing you registered.

When you woke up, the smell was but a faint trace. Natasha was gone, and there was another woman sitting on the chair in the room where you put your suitcases yesterday, where Natasha's suitcase was now gone.

The woman had blue eyes and reddish-brown hair, nowhere near as bright as your Natasha.

"Is she gone?" you asked, your voice a mere whisper.

"We should have breakfast," she answered instead, "I'll let you get ready."

"Wait," you called out, louder than was necessary, the sound of your voice grating even on your own ears. It was easier with Natasha. Talking. "Who are you?" you asked.

"Wanda Maximoff," the woman answered. "Now come on, we don't have all day."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Down at breakfast, you were sitting across from Wanda and sipping your coffee silently, your uneaten food seemingly staring back at you.

"Eat," Wanda instructed, "We have a long drive."

"Why do you hate me?"

"Who told you that?" she said, sounding annoyed. "If I hated you, do you think I'd be here to drive you home?"

"You're doing that for Natasha, not for me," you mumbled.

Wanda just sighed, telling you to eat again and taking a bite of her own food. You took a bite of yours but couldn't leave it alone.

"You love her, don't you?"

"Look, what Natasha and I have had… it's very different. We go way back," she looked up at you, the ghost of a sad smile on her lips. Not as pretty as your Natasha. "We were best friends, and then we were more than that for a little bit. When we both needed it. And we're still best friends. I've known her since we were both very young."

You nodded at her words, taking a few more bites of your food while she rummaged around her purse.

"There you go," she extended you an envelope. It carried the same faint trace of Natasha's perfume just like the sheets in the morning, and it made your stomach churn. "She left this for you."

"Okay," you whispered, swallowing and nodding weakly.

"If you're done, we should get going."

You only opened the envelope when you were securely in the backseat of Wanda's car, her eyes occupied on the road.

You couldn't resist the urge to take a hesitant sniff of it. Because it smelled like her. Then, you could stall no longer, and you opened it and started reading, your eyes filling with more and more tears with every line.

Dearest,

There are no accidents, and he would have found us one way or another. Everything comes full circle. Be grateful it was sooner rather than later.

You'll think it harsh of me to say so, but no explanation I offer will satisfy you. Please don't be angry when I tell you that you seek resolutions and explanations because you are young. But you will understand this one day. And when it happens, I want you to imagine me there to greet you, our lives stretched out ahead of us, a perpetual sunrise.

But until then, there must be no contact between us. I have much to do, and you, my darling, even more. Please believe that I would do anything to see you happy. So, I do the only thing I can... I release you.

-N

And before you knew it tears were streaming down your face because it was all so painfully unfair. Because you knew that maybe there was some truth to her words. Because you knew she needed to fight for her daughter, and you by her side would only hinder her.

Because there was a small, selfish part of you that didn't care, that wanted nothing more than to be by her side, no matter what, to be with her, like a moth drawn to a flame, no rational thought, only feelings so strong you were certain you couldn't feel without her ever again.

You couldn't stifle your sobs anymore, and Wanda heard, pulling over near a patch of grass on the side of the road. You left the letter on the seat and rushed out, running, the sheer force of your crying sending bile up your throat. You heaved over the grass, throwing up what little breakfast you had.

You were panting, breathing uneven, your heart erratically beating in your chest as you fought to control it, when Wanda came up behind you and put a hand on your back.

Without words, you knew what she was saying. You had to continue.

And you did. You continued.

Quit your job at the department store too, since your eyes would stay fixed on the entrance, expecting her to somehow walk in, to have a second chance. It hurt too much.

At first, you thought about getting a similar job in retail, but Natasha's words rang in your ears.

All you can do is keep working. Use what feels right. Throw away the rest.

You got a job as an assistant photographer at the local newspaper.

But other than that, you tried to erase every trace of Natasha from your life, but to no avail. You couldn't bring yourself to throw away the countless photos you had taken of her, nor the letter. They were kept in the back of another cabinet.

And it's not like you could throw the camera away.

So every day, you'd live with her shadow looming over you. You knew you shouldn't, that you should try harder to forget her. But even the shadow of her presence had a certain comfort, and you took what you could get. Even if you'd probably never see her again, you couldn't unsee her, in wisps of red hair, an elegant coat, lipstick red lips. Never her, never as captivating as her, but always undeniable getting your attention for a brief second, daring to hope that maybe- but it never was.

Three months passed like that, without any word from her. Until one day, you were called out of a newspaper meeting, saying there was a letter for you. Surprisingly, you didn't immediately hope it was her, it took you a minute or two as you excused yourself. Maybe you were getting better.

But even more surprisingly, it was from her.

I'm in town, so I thought we could chat if you want. Meet me at the Ritz restaurant, 7 pm. We'll get dinner.

If you can't come, I'll understand.

-N

You toyed around with the idea of not coming for the rest of the afternoon, but you were fooling no one, least of all yourself.

You left early to go home and get ready and arrived at the restaurant ten minutes early. There was a reservation with Natasha's name. You sat at the table and waited.

And 7 pm passed, and then every minute seemed like forever. She was late. And maybe she wouldn't come at all, and it was all some sort of joke. And maybe you shouldn't have come, shouldn't have dared to hope-

But there she was. Red lipstick, a light grey coat, a hat over her perfectly neat hair. Put together, elegant.

Although now, you knew she looked even better when she wasn't put together, when she was falling apart, or falling asleep. Knowing what she was like when she wasn't put together made it odd to see her like this, made you crave seeing her in her natural state again, made you crave to set her free. But you still wondered how it was possible that no one turned their head to look at her, how can no one see what you see, feel what you feel, your gaze drawn to her the most natural thing in the world.

And before you knew it, one look at her and you were falling again, fast and scary.

Her eyes caught yours from across the room and lit up. She made her way over to you, shedding her coat and putting neatly on the back of her chair before sitting down.

Once again, you were forcefully reminded of how beautiful your name sounded when she said it.

"Hello," she smiled.

"Hello," you echoed hesitantly.

"I'm sorry," she started.

"I know."

"Rindy is with Bucky now."

"I'm sorry," you said genuinely. You imagined how hard that must be on her.

"I get visits. It's for the best," she smiled sadly. "It's settled. So, I have an apartment in the city now," she said. You had nothing to answer now. "Although it is quite too big for only me, I've discovered. I was wondering if you were in search of a new place, or a roommate, but that's…" she chuckled, "I'm guessing you aren't."

You opened your mouth to talk but had nothing to say. Because of course your first instinct was to say yes, always yes when she was the one asking. You've learned to say no to other people, but not to her. You didn't think you were capable of it.

But you shouldn't say yes. Because that would be selfish. So you didn't say anything.

"I love you," she whispered.

And oh, every time she says your name you think it's the most beautiful one, but this is surely it.

But still, wouldn't it be selfish to say it back? Wouldn't it be dangerous to fall so fast with no way back up?

Before you could muster the ability to speak, someone else called your name. Unpleasant and too loud.

"Hey, what's up!" he came up to your table, "Oh, I don't mean to interrupt your diner," he said once he registered Natasha's presence.

"Josh, Natasha Romanoff. Natasha, Josh, a writer for the newspaper I work in," you reluctantly introduced. You watched her as a wistful smile made its way onto her lips. You didn't tell her about the job yet, and she seemed pleased, although not happy.

"Nice to meet you," Josh smiled.

"You too," she nodded her head at him, her smile warm enough now. But it was the artificial warmness of a lamp, dim and incomparable to what it looked like when she was really smiling. A perpetual sunrise.

"Well, I just saw you," Josh turned back to you, "and wondered if you were coming by to Ron's party tonight."

"I am," you nodded. Ron was throwing a birthday party. He was your coworker, it would be rude not to go. Even though you hadn't remembered his party up until right now.

"Well, great! I'm actually going right now, so if you want a ride…"

"Oh, you should get a ride," Natasha said, gathering her gloves and coat.

"Great! I'll bring the car around, so go outside in a few minutes," Josh smiled.

"I'm meeting up with some friends at Viognier later anyway," Natasha explained. "If you get bored of your party, come by. I think you'd like them," she smiled sadly, before getting up and leaving.

And then it was all moving very fast, and you were getting in Josh's car, and going to the party, and wishing Ron a happy birthday, and being numb, so very numb. Like you felt the first time she left. Like life itself became dull, void of color.

The party started picking up, and there were quite a lot of people there, but it didn't matter, all you knew was that you were alone in a crowd once more. And now that you knew the alternative, you couldn't bear it.

You slipped away from the party and took a cab to Viognier.

"Hello," the host greeted you, "Do you have a reservation?"

"No, I- I'm looking for someone," you pushed past him, frantically walking into the restaurant, looking around, and then finally locating her, sitting at a far-off table, slowly making your way towards it.

And finally, it all clicked.

As you saw her, before she noticed you, she was glowing in the dim restaurant light, just like she was that first lunch you had together, and every day you have known her since. And when she did notice you, and your eyes met from across the room, her shine brightened, her smile warm like the sun.

And that's when you knew. You were flung out of space. You didn't belong here on earth, never did. Except when you were in her arms, except when you were with her. Your very own sun, your very own north star. Then, you belonged. You belonged to her, and she to you.

You could never give that up, no matter what either of you had thought.

"Hello," she greeted once you came to the table.

"Hi," you replied bashfully.

And you knew, with absolute certainty, that she could read you like an open book, knew the yes in your eyes, knew what you were really saying when you asked, "may I join you?"

I love you too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

well, again, if you’ve stuck with this till the end - ily. i seemingly can’t write anything short these days lmao, it’s taking me time i don’t have off of studying:,) lol, but it’s worth it. i’ve wanted to write this fic since i’ve first watched the movie last year, so please, feel free to tell me your thoughts!! take care<3

Taglist: @horny-nd-bored @shannon124 @perfectlyharolds @wintersoldierslut @iceebabies @sleepingpapermouse @steverogerswasalwaysworthy @holtzkinnon @angelicl-y @stydia-4-ever @thatoneperson5000 @fangirlfree @kaitcordx25 @bequeening @steve-barry-damon-logan @itscrazycherryblossomcollection @hollandxmarvel @stargazingfangirl18 @readsreblogsfics @onetwo3000 @beritmetal @harrystylesholland @jazbot2000 @anobscurename @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @peggycarter-steverogers @evansphnx12 @starlightcrystalline @procrastinatingsapphictrash @imvivian @sleutherclaw @farzanam2004 @yeeterthekeeper @justile

if you wanna join / be removed from a taglist, comment/message me! much love <3

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanov x reader #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x female!reader #natasha romanoff x female #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff angst #carol movie

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itsmykindoflove · 3 years ago

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How about we try again? Taking it easy…

Genre: cute, a little bit angst

Words: 742

Disclaimer: none

Notes: Not my best one, but hope y'all like it.

That fall afternoon was a mixture of happiness and anxiety. My ex boyfriend's best friend was getting married and I had been invited. Sitting in front of my dressing table, I tried to fix my hair and my thoughts so I wouldn't freak out. My brain was terrified of meeting my old—but not forgotten—love, and my heart wanted to see him, to know how he was.

It wasn't like I didn't check his social media from time to time, but seeing him in person after our breakup was something else. Would he ignore me? Should I be mature and say hi? In the blink of an eye, I found myself ready in front of the mirror.

The breeze was so nice and comforting; it matched the wedding theme well. I entered the lobby, greeted the groom's parents, delivered the envelope with money to the designated place and sat down in the reserved spot, just to find myself looking for him and I realize that I must be going crazy. Yes, totally.

The celebration was very beautiful and romantic. I recognized many friendly faces, some waved from afar, others left where they were to talk to me. It was as if nothing had changed and we were all still in that era.

-Congratulations to the couple. - I said approaching the bride and groom.

-Thank you very much, my friend! -I felt the hug of the bride who was my companion in so many of their shows... -I'm glad you came, I missed you.

- For real, I haven't seen you for a long time. I'm sure you were enjoying life to the fullest, weren't you? – This time the groom commented.

-Kinda of. I think you can live and work at the same time. - we laughed together.

-Have you seen... him? -my friend asked.

-Oh... Not yet. I didn't even remember that he would be here, it's been so long… - I disguised it.

-He's right there. -he pointed and I followed his vision to find him in a black suit, hair perfectly arranged and a smile that took my breath away. -Hey, come here.

The groom yelled at my ex before I could protest. He joined us and it a strange feeling remained.

- Honey, my mother is calling. Enjoy the party, you two. -My friend said while she left us alone.

-Hey. -he said.

-Hello, how are you?

-Good, and you?

-Good as well.

-That's great.

What kind of conversation was that, we looked like two teenagers with embarrassment, not that I wasn't embarrassed, but... God damn, how awful.

-You are beautiful today.

I paralyzed for a while.

-Thanks. You're not bad either, still looking good in tuxedos and all. – I confessed.

-Ah good to know...- he smiled mischievously.

-Don’t start.

-What? I'm doing nothing. – he protested.

-You know what you're doing.

-Do you want to get out of here?

-Sure.

We went to the terrace of the building and stood there watching the city lights for a few minutes. It was strange being there with him, but at the same time comforting. It was like having my best friend back – and ex, of course. Okay, that sounded weird.

-I think I should go back to the party. - I suggested.

-Why? Is it weird being here with me?

-Nah, it’s normal...

-Your face says otherwise, but I don't blame you... It's hard to be around people you once loved.

-Can you stop this?

-Why? Are you afraid of falling in love again?

-What? No.

-Are you sure?

-Yes. -I lied. I was freaking afraid of falling in love if it wasn't him.

-I am afraid of falling in love again. But when it comes to you, I'd do it a thousand times.

I didn't know how but we were so close that it was impossible not to kiss and that's what happened. I felt all the butterflies in my stomach, all the good memories flowing back and a crazy urge to go back to him. When we broke the kiss, he was still holding me in a hug.

-How about we try again? Taking it easy… – he asked.

-Taking it easy? -I asked back and he nodded. I kissed him again, praying that I wouldn't regret it and that he would never let me go.

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cozymoko · 3 years ago

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Hello nice to talk to you i have followed your blog for some time and i really love the content you provide💖💖 This is my first time requesting something and iam quite new to asking so plz if i say something out of boundary forgive me .

I would like to ask a reader who's like LUNA LOVEGOOD from Harry potter with Tanjirou and Inosuke i really love her and her personality 😍😍

You dont have to write it or feel burdened about it Good luck for your future endeavours and have a good day😚😚

TANJIRO AND INOSUKE (ft. Luna Lovegood reader)

Note: Haha, how kind of you. I wish you the best. I'm glad you've continued to support me, please enjoy! Sorry, it took forever.

Disclaimer: I personally have never seen Harry Potter so I did research and asked some friends. But in this post, you can tell I've never seen Harry Potter. (´。＿。｀)

TANJIRO KAMADO — 竈門炭治郎

After dealing with Zenitsu anything is normal to him! In the beginning, Kamado had a difficult time approaching you because of your standoffish demeanor. Forever keeping to yourself, distracted in your own endless thoughts. Yet the curious boy couldn't help but wonder what lies beneath your silence.

Once finally meeting you he realizes how fun you truly are, a contrast to your previous loner mannerisms. Finding out you are relatively optimistic always keeping him on his toes, always keeping a joyful smile on his face. Especially in a time like this it is more than needed.

However, over time he does see how odd you can be. Usually trying to come off as friendly but failing every now and then. But Tanjiro finds it undeniably adorable! Just seeing you try makes his heart swell with joy; he just can't help but praise you for your efforts!

"Cheer up! Don't let what they say bother you!" Tanjiro shouts, placing a firm grip on your shoulders as a noticeable pink tinges his cheeks. "Af..After all, I like you the way you are...!"

INOSUKE HASHIBIRA — 嘴平伊之助

Doesn't bother him in the slightest. He'd take you over a dreary partner any day of the week. Discloses your closed-off behavior to be an invitation to challenge you, that's how you meet. Whether you are a demon slayer or not Inosuke's determined to get a reaction out of you.

When you are acting "strange" he'll tell you, but don't take it to heart as he means no harm. Inosuke's rather simple-minded, yelling inconsiderate things like, "Hey why are you so quiet! Talk more!" Without realizing your justification for being distant in the first place. Your loner personality irks him to a whole other level.

Would not tolerate any sort of disrespect coming your way. This loudmouthed teen won't bother biting his tongue. Although not understanding you well himself there's no chance anyone else will poke fun at you for it.

"Why does it matter? Agh, don't cry damnit! I like you, who cares about those guy's opinions anyway?!" He shouts, taking hold of your wet cheeks in his hands, gazing at you with determined eyes.

#kimetsu no yaiba imagines #kimetsu no yaiba headcanons #kimestu no yaiba imagines #demon slayer imagines #demon slayer headcanons #kny headcanons #kny imagines #kny x reader #tanjiro kamado x reader #tanjiro x reader #inosuke x you #inosuke hashibira x reader #inosuke x reader #tanjiro x you

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arrowflier · 3 years ago

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Hi I don't have tumblr, so not sure how this works. Came across your blog though, and spent three days just reading everything you've written and reblogged. Such a fun three days! I have so many ideas for prompts, but the one I'm most curious about is what happens when Ian has a rough patch of mania maybe a couple years into their marriage and what kind of plans do Mickey and Ian have for either an upswing or a downswing of his bipolar? Thanks so much excited to see what you come up with!

Hi there! It's such a compliment that you went through my rambles, glad you're enjoying.💖 Standard disclaimer: everything I know about bipolar disorder comes from the internet. It's an important part of Ian that I want to be respectful of, so as always please let me know if I miss the mark.

Caring for your partner, Rule 1: Be There

When Mickey woke up, Ian wasn’t in bed.

That wasn’t terribly unusual in and of itself. What was unusual was that it was only 3AM, on a Saturday, and Mickey could already hear his husband moving outside their room. The footsteps outside the door were soft, restrained, like Ian didn’t want to wake him. But the following clatter in the kitchen was alarmingly loud as Ian opened the drawer under the oven to pull out a pan, and Mickey groaned.

He wanted to roll over, pull a pillow over his head, and block out whatever this was so he could go back to sleep. They’d been working long days, and sometimes longer nights as the dispensaries were all pulling overtime with increasing demand. They’d only made it to bed like two hours ago, for fuck’s sake, and Mickey was tired.

But Ian should have been tired too, and it was never a good sign when he wasn’t. So Mickey sat up with a sigh, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hand, and swung his legs out of bed.

He winced when his bare feet touched the cold wooden floor. They had been here for almost a year already, and they still hadn’t gotten ‘round to buying a fucking rug for the bedroom.

Mickey shivered as he hopped awkwardly toward the closed bedroom door, grabbing his robe from a hook there and tugging it on over his thin shirt and the boxers he was pretty sure started out on Ian’s side of the dresser. Wrapping it closed, he slipped out the door and into the brightly lit hallway, squinting blearily as he followed the sound of pots and pans to the kitchen.

Ian had half their crockery out on the counter already. His red hair gleamed under the sharp light of the long fluorescent bulbs overhead as he stirred batter in a large bowl they had borrowed from Debbie last week and never given back, wooden spoon clanking against the sides erratically.

Erratically. That was a good word for it, Mickey thought. The mindless clink clink clink of wood on metal in no discernible pattern, just like the route Ian took around their table, to the counter, to the fridge, and back to the oven again. Mindless, pacing, random.

Mickey leaned against the wall, and watched.

They had talked about this, since the last time. At least, since the last time Mickey had been worried. When Ian was down, when he didn’t want to get up. When Mickey dragged him out on his first run and they talked afterward in the kitchen, when Mickey made clear that his worry was just one more face of what they had together.

He’d come down the next morning to Ian at the kitchen table, the whole place eerily quiet for a place they still shared with too many fucking people. There had been coffee in the pot, toast on the table, and Ian, picking at his cuticles and not meeting Mickey’s eyes.

“We need to talk,” he’d said, and Mickey’s heart had dropped into his stomach.

“Can I wake the fuck up first?” he’d asked, but Ian had just kicked a chair out for him and waited, not meeting his eyes, until Mickey sat down.

They’d sat silently for a long moment, Mickey unwilling to ask what it was about. Finally, Ian had sighed, and reached out for Mickey’s hand across the table.

“It’s about the bipolar,” he’d said, and Mickey had been so relieved he could feel it in his fucking toes, bare and cold against the tile floor.

“Oh. Okay.”

Ian had been startled by his easy acceptance of the topic, he could tell.

“That’s it?” He’d sounded almost confused.

Mickey had shrugged.

“I mean, yeah?” He’d rubbed the rest of the sleep from his eyes with the hand no holding Ian’s. “You had me worried, man, with the we need to talk thing. But this is just normal shit.”

Ian had just stared at him, then released his hand to lean back against his chair.

“Normal?” He’d asked disbelievingly. “There’s nothing normal about planning for my imminent mental break, Mickey.

Mickey had snorted at the irony of it. “You kidding me?” he’d said. “It’s the most normal fucking thing about us.”

As he watched Ian in the kitchen now, making pancakes at 3AM on a Saturday morning, Mickey thought that was probably still true.

“Hey, Martha Stewart,” he said softly from his position against the wall, still leaning there as Ian spun around with surprise painted over his face. His eyes were off, the light not quite there, but they still warmed when he saw Mickey.

“Hey,” Ian said back, voice high and too chipper. “I’m making pancakes, you want some? I’ve got banana, your favorite, and chocolate chips, and strawberries…”

He went on to list more ingredients, but Mickey wasn’t really listening. He could see it all anyway, spread out over the kitchen like so many half-made decisions, half-baked ideas that kept giving way to something else.

“Mickey?” Ian asked, and he snapped out of it.

“Yeah,” he answered with a smile. “Yeah, I’d love some pancakes. Why don’t you let me stir for a awhile?”

—

They had their pancakes standing up next to the counter, nowhere left to rest their plates on the crowded surfaces of the kitchen. Ian talked about the merits of each ingredient as they ate, and Mickey listened, and nodded along as best he could.

This was okay. It was pancakes in their boxers at 3AM with no sleep in a kitchen that looked like it was hit by a tornado, but Ian was eating, and Ian was smiling, and Ian was there.

And when Ian stopped and tried to set his plate down, distress on his face as he was confronted with the mess he had made, Mickey took the dish from him with easy hands.

“You want to sit down awhile?” he tried, nudging Ian gently out of the disaster-zone. “Bet you’re tired after eating all that.”

He knew Ian wasn’t, but he kept a hand on his back anyway until they were out in the living room, next to the sofa. Mickey let go to sit down himself with a groan, tired muscles aching at being used for too long without rest. He kept his eyes off Ian, just standing there, looking at him in that too-present, too-absent way of his, and leaned back against the cushions, eyes falling closed.

After a moment, the sofa dipped as Ian settled in beside him.

“Mickey?” Ian asked. The cushions bounced as he tapped his heel repeatedly on the floor.

“Yeah?” Mickey responded, squinting his eyes back open.

“Can I touch you?”

Mickey repressed the urge to sit up, to take Ian into his arms. Ian sounded too hesitant, a shift from moments before as he playfully shoved bites of overcooked batter into Mickey’s mouth.

But Ian didn’t like to be held like this.

“Of course you can, you moron,” Mickey said instead, and watched as Ian’s leg stopped moving. The other man drew closer, reaching a hand out to card through Mickey’s hair and drag down the side of his face, a touch too shaky and a touch too firm.

Ian had once said that touching Mickey grounded him, and Mickey hadn’t known if Ian thought that was a good thing or not. In the midst of hypomania, Ian didn’t always take kindly to being grounded.

But tonight—well, this morning—it seemed to be a good thing. Mickey was grateful for that.

Grateful, because it meant that Ian looked like himself as he moved to lay against him, and not like some over-saturated facsimile painted with too much water on the canvas, always shifting, always running. Grateful, because it meant that Ian pulled Mickey’s arms around him and settled into his side like they always did, even if his body never quite stilled at the contact.

Grateful, because it meant they wouldn’t fight tonight. That Mickey wouldn’t have to worry as much about what Ian might say, might do, if he stepped out of line. If he went off the script they had planned on a good day for dealing with bad ones to come.

He wouldn’t have to call Lip for backup. He wouldn’t have to tail Ian as he left the apartment to make sure he stayed safe. He wouldn’t have hide the knives, or their wallets, or anything else.

Not that he would have complained if he did. It was what it was. Ian was who he was. And Mickey would always see him through it. Love him through it.

They lay there, mostly quiet, except for the mindless tune Ian hummed against his neck, and the tap tap tap of his fingers on Mickey’s collarbone.

Eventually, the song cut off.

“Do I need to call the doctor?” Ian asked quietly into the echoing room, and Mickey nodded, rubbing a gentle hand through his hair.

“Yeah,” he admitted. “I think so.”

He'd get everything together in the morning. Ian's journals, their schedule, their meal plan. The little notebook where he kept track of Ian's prescriptions, how they worked, how long they lasted.

Something had obviously slipped, either in their methods or in Ian himself. But Mickey was well past dwelling on what they could have done differently, and focused on what to do next.

Things happened. Things changed. They would adapt.

At Mickey's confirmation, Ian just nodded against him, fidgeting until their legs were too entwined to separate.

“Sleep first, if you can,” Mickey told him, settling in for a long rest of the night. “We’ll do it together when you wake up.”

Together. They’d do it together. Again and again and again, as much as they needed to. Because Ian was his husband, and this was their normal.

And their normal was still pretty damn good.

#daily speedwrite #fanfic #gallavich #mickey milkovich #ian gallagher #bipolar disorder #tw: mental health

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josephinegerardywriter · 3 years ago

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Writing Siblings in Fiction

So you want to write siblings in your story? Well, here is some advice from me, someone with a lot of siblings.

*Disclaimer: This is merely a compilation from my own experience that is hopefully helpful. Obviously, all families are different.

-----

1. Siblings do not get along all the time.

In fact, some can argue all. the. time.

Siblings all have varying degrees of tolerance for one another and some just can't stand each other. This is a fairly common thing in fiction when a character has siblings, but I also see a lot of one sibling being disliked because they're a genuinely bad person. This is completely valid, but sometimes the brother or sister can be completely normal, not overly good or bad, and hated just because.

This is true even if the brothers and sisters have similar personalities (my younger siblings are proof of this). And while similarities can bring siblings together, this still does not mean they will get along 100% of the time, this just means that those closer will get over any arguments quicker to go back to being friends.

2. Siblings can hold grudges.

And they will try to hold them as long as they remember them.

There are two general-ish ways fights can go: 1. Some minor fight happened and both parties (because it's usually just between two siblings) will be angry, but some 20 minutes later, one will make the other laugh and they'll go back to being buddies. Or 2. One genuinely hurts the other in an unforgiving (or not easily forgiven) way and it causes a sever between them.

For the latter, if siblings are going to move past that, it's either going to take some time and work on both of their parts or the hurt party may choose to appear fine but internally still not be over it.

Please, please, please, please, do NOT pull a Taryn from the Cruel Prince series forgiveness card. If one of my siblings did something horrible that basically ruined my life and then a little while later came needing my help, you can bet your bottom dollar I would be like 'heck no!'

3. The younger child that idolizes their older sibling is a real thing.

As living proof, I can confirm this, however, it's rare.

From all the interactions I've had with countless families chock-full of siblings, including my own, if I hadn't been one of the starry-eyed kids myself, I would never believe it was real.

*But though it is rare, I absolutely adore this trope, especially if the adored sibling is a good influence, so please continue using this. <3

4. They have different family values.

I think this can go for families and family members in general. Each individual has their own opinion of which of their values is more important.

Some think blood relation is of the utmost importance and family should stick together no matter what, while others disagree, especially if the family is toxic, and just don't want to be around them. It's different for everyone.

5. Siblings can be jerks for no reason.

I don't know why they are, but they can be. And the jerks are generally disliked by the rest of their siblings.

6. Siblings prefer to stick with those closest in personality and age

Even just one or the other is fine. I can just as easily spend time with my youngest sibling because we have similar personalities as I can with my siblings closest to my age.

7. On calling each other 'brother' or 'sister' ...

In my personal experience, I have never come across anyone who calls their sibling 'brother' or 'sister' in place of their name. I'm sure some do, but when I come across it in media, it usually feels like the director or author is trying to tell the audience that, hey! these characters are related! If that's the point you're trying to make and it has no other significance than that, I would suggest finding another way to show it.

If it has to be told, it makes more sense for someone else to say, "Oh, those brothers are inseparable." than "Hi, brother!" unless they're Tyson from Percy Jackson or introducing their sibling to another person, i.e "This is my brother." in which case, it's fine.

8. Families are goldmines for inside jokes

Think about it, you've been with these people your entire life and shared countless memories.

The characters will have probably shared countless jokes that are still referenced years later. They're also going to know most details and events of their siblings' life and if any are particularly embarrassing, their siblings will be teased. Even worse, the entire family will join in if they're nearby. (Unless they're nice, then probably not.)

But not even just teasing, you can write little interactions or shared references that imply a rich history together. For example, my siblings and I love to pepper in movie quotes as we talk to each other. It's always so fun because the other one automatically knows exactly what we're referencing because they were there with us when we watched that movie/show countless times.

-----

And this will be what I'll be leaving you with today. I took these from my experience of being part of a large family, but I'm sure they'll hold if you're writing a small family as well. Also, these tips are intended for blood relatives because I am no expert on adopted siblings or found family and their different functions.

Ultimately, I hope you found this helpful for your writing, and remember as with all writing advice, please take this with a grain of salt and remember there are exceptions to every rule. Happy writing!

#i feel the most strongly about 2 because that's the one i hardly ever see #siblings do not have to forgive each other all the time #especially if one does something incredibly stupid #writing advice #writing tips #writing siblings #writing families #long post #helpful #potentially #josephine gave advice? josephine gave advice!

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sorryimananti-romantic · 3 years ago

Text

Mist | Choi San | Chapter 2

Pairing: Choi San x OC (Seohyun)

Genre: supernatural (ghost), romance, high school

Trigger Warnings: paranormal, death mentions, violence

Words: 7.2k

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except my original character and the story. I do not own any gifs or pictures used.

Full story on Wattpad (don’t spoil here if you read there too)

chapter directory

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A few paranormally uneventful days passed. Seohyun hadn't exactly opened up to the group of boys that she was now able to call friends, but she was slowly getting there. It was hard not to smile when one of them cracked a silly joke, and harder not to laugh when they had a battle of wits.

She was slowly getting used to her new school. She was past the stage of being a new kid and the students in her class had stopped giving her those looks. She was unnoticed, and she loved it.

Today, like every other morning, Seohyun got ready for school, tying her hair in a half ponytail, peeking out of the window to check if she should wear her glasses or cap today. She had to hide her eyes somehow, they always betrayed her. She didn't want anyone to think she liked to stare into the space. But then she shrugged and tossed her glasses in the bag, wearing her cap as she went to the kitchen.

Her mother was a very busy woman and she liked to spend almost all her day in her office. She was rarely home even if she had a day off anyway. So Seohyun just made herself some coffee, munching on some cookies as she waited for the coffee to become cool enough to drink.

"I still don't get why you let the housemaid go," Jiwoo popped out of nowhere and twirled around the kitchen.

"Well, I didn't entirely let her 'go'. She still comes by on the weekends, you already know that."

"But still! What's wrong with having food everyday?" Jiwoo pushed her dark red hair back as she tsk-ed at Seohyun.

"For one, I wanted to learn to cook, and the food she made was always too much for just me. I always had to throw it out or give it to someone before it went bad. Mom's never home to eat anyway."

"I actually hate your mom, no offence," Jiwoo looked at her and Seohyun shook her head, "I mean, what kind of a mother is she?"

"A woman married to her work with an abnormal child, I kind of understand why she's like this," Seohyun muttered.

"Nah, you're not abnormal. You're gifted. And you don't appreciate it enough."

"No offence, unnie, but ghosts are the company I'd rather not have," Seohyun rinsed her cup and placed it on the rack, taking her school bag and locking the door.

"What's wrong with me?" Jiwoo asked.

"You're one of the better ones, but only because you had temporary amnesia before you died and you still don't know who exactly you are and why you're a ghost!" Seohyun snorted at the weirdness of all this.

"You think I'd ever be able to recall? Or just be stuck with you forever?" Jiwoo asked.

"I'd rather you try to move around and find out who you are instead of making me look like I talk to myself."

"Ah, you pain me, child. It's all because you have new friends now and don't care about me anymore. Right, catto?"

The black cat, which Seohyun hadn't noticed earlier, meowed in response.

"And, here comes the pretty one," Jiwoo grinned and Seohyun looked in her direction to find San coming their way.

"Pretty one? Seriously?" Seohyun shook her head.

"I mean, they're all pretty, but I like this kid more-"

"Hey," San gave her a smile as he meowed to the cat, who gladly jumped in San's arm when he put them forward.

"This little-" Seohyun stopped, and San laughed. "She never comes when I ask!"

"She likes me more, it seems," San rubbed her forehead and she purred, and they walked in comfortable silence to school the rest of the way.

They almost reached the gates of the school but something Seohyun saw from the corner of her eye made her stop in her tracks.

It was a ghost, yet it was something else. It wasn't someone who had died recently for sure. The man, the ghost if you could call it that, was bitter.

"You okay?" San asked, looking in the direction Seohyun was looking in. To him, it seemed she was looking at a wall.

"Yeah, I-I'm okay. Why don't you go ahead? I'll be right back. I should take her too," Seohyun picked the cat from San's hand, "We don't want her roaming around the school and getting scared, do we now?"

San raised a suspicious brow at her, but nodded as he reluctantly went in.

The man tried approaching Seohyun first, but she motioned him to follow her and went to the backside of the school, where surely there would be very few people walking by at this time.

"State your business," Seohyun said, and the man actually looked taken aback, if his eyes could display some emotion.

Truth be told, Seohyun was always scared dealing with men ghosts and older ghosts in general. Since ghosts could touch her, they were as much of a threat to her as humans. And these old ghosts, the ones with skin that looked grey, almost as if the ghost had started decomposing too, were usually not in their right mind.

"I have waited decades to find the mediator," the man's eyes gleamed rather wickedly.

"Mediator?" Seohyun asked. A rather fancy term for someone who could see the dead. "And why did you have to wait decades?"

"Let's say the mediator supposed to sort my death out met with rather... unfortunate circumstances," the man cleared his throat but his voice was still hoarse as he said, "You have to come with me."

"Well, if you waited decades, can you wait a few more hours? I have school, and please do NOT disturb me during my class," Seohyun made sure her tone was polite as she said this, but the man grunted. Before he could try anything, she muttered an awkward bye and walked swiftly to the gates, letting the cat go. She didn't realize she'd been holding the cat for comfort.

San, who had just witnessed Seohyun talking to thin air from the other side of the road, sighed loudly as he walked slowly to the gates.

San hadn't meant to follow her, but he turned around after a few steps of walking to the building, hoping to offer to come along with her, but when he saw her stop in the middle of the road and look as if she was actually talking to someone, he paused. He knew he shouldn't, but he watched her. And he did not know what to make of it.

Was Seohyun crazy? Didn't look like it. If she was, she did a damn good job at hiding it. When San finally reached class, he saw Seohyun chatting with Jongho. Perfectly normal. Or was she?

San said nothing as he sat in his spot, but he felt her tap his shoulder. He turned around and she asked, "I thought you went to class, where were you roaming around?"

San stared at her light brown orbs, coming out of the trance when she blinked. "I just wanted to walk around a bit."

He saw her frown but then she nodded and went back to chatting with Jongho. San turned back in his seat, and throughout the classes, he kept wondering if that was the reason why she covered her face or eyes.

When school ended, Seohyun said she had to go somewhere and said bye. San made an excuse too and started to follow her. He was going to see for himself, what she was gonna do.

San knew it was impolite to do this. And he knew if she found out, she'd really be angry with him, maybe never talk to him again. This was supposed to be her secret for sure. She would probably never tell any one of them. He wasn't even sure what it was.

Seohyun led him to an abandoned warehouse, and he heard her say, "Why bring me here?"

She paused for a few second, looking around as if for help, and San ducked quickly behind the boxes before she could see her. He couldn't hear her now, but he did get bits about how it was creepy of 'him' to bring her to this place without warning her, and he didn't miss how she kept looking behind her, as if she was waiting for someone to appear or just didn't want to keep doing this.

Who was this 'him'? Her imaginary friend? A ghost? San shook his head, and got on his feet when he noticed her go inside the warehouse.

San crept up behind them, and couldn't believe what he saw.

The locked door somehow unlocked, somehow the chains fell and the door magically opened wide in front of her, without Seohyun having even moved a finger.

What was happening?

Seohyun was asked to come in the warehouse and she couldn't ignore the roaring of her gut that told her something was going to go really, really wrong. She had such a strong feeling some years ago too, and she had barely gotten away from her life then.

All her nerves screamed at her to run, anywhere, just not go in. Where was Jiwoo when she needed her? Seohyun was kind of furious how she was never there for her.

Seohyun watched the old man walk in, looking around, and before she entered, she turned her head once hoping she would see Jiwoo-

Instead, she felt her heart sink as she saw none other than San, attempting to hide as their eyes met.

"Come in now, don't keep me waiting," the man grumbled, and Seohyun shouted an okay to him before she looked at San, hoping to warn him with her eyes as she put a finger to her mouth, telling him not to make a sound and motioning him to stay where he was.

Seohyun went inside, her heart slamming against her chest. This wasn't supposed to happen. San must think she's crazy or worse. Her mind made a mental list of how many ways this could go wrong.

"I used to think mediators ran in the family. But the one who was supposed to help me, he did not have any offspring. I spent so many years in ignorance, not knowing that it was completely random. Just like god picking up a needle in the haystack."

"Cut to the chase. What do you want with me and why bring me here?"

"I have forgotten why I died. And I want to move on. But I can't because I don't remember why I am still here. Someone told me there were various other ways to move on... Let's say I had to try."

As soon as Seohyun saw the growing smirk on the man, she knew it was time to run the hell away. But several bottles came flying at her, and she barely dodged them as they crashed on the wall next to her.

"You don't have to do this! It's wrong! I help dead people move on, there must be a way other than stupid violence-"

But the man waved another hand and now the boxes came flying at her. She was grabbed by the arm and pulled against someone, and she sighed in both relief and horror as she saw it was San.

"Are you stupid! You'll get hurt!" She yelled at him. He just took her hand and ran towards the shelves, hoping to hide from whatever it was that sent flying objects in the air. He almost dragged her until he was sure he was quite away from whatever it was.

"What the hell is happening?" San asked through his teeth.

"Why did you even follow me? Are you stupid?"

"Who is it?" San's grip on her wrist tightened as his eyes searched around.

"It's a ghost, San. Do you believe me?" Seohyun asked, waiting for a snide remark.

"From what I've seen? Sure," San muttered, and Seohyun wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic.

"He's near. Let's move," Seohyun said, and this time, she grabbed San's hand as she led him through the various shelves that lined the warehouse, glad they weren't empty.

A blast shocked them, making them jump in the air as they realized the shelves were collapsing one by one.

"Shit, shit, shit!" Seohyun ran, San matching her pace and she ran her eyes around, finally finding a place to hide. It was a narrow passage between huge containers. Seohyun looked at her options. The man was blocking the entrance so now they could just hide and pray for help or... die. If that's the worst that was to come.

Seohyun dragged San with her to the narrow passage, both of them barely fitting in the small dark place. Now they were side to side but San's body was still half out, so Seohyun pulled him closer, until he was almost in front of him. Since the passage was so narrow and short, there wasn't much gap between them.

San was a bundle of nerves and all, his heart beating wildly. "What's going on-"

"Shh," Seohyun whispered, putting a hand on his mouth to shut him up, "I'll explain everything later, I promise."

San nodded, taking off her hand from his mouth but not leaving it. Seohyun was too busy concentrating on where the man was to notice it. He saw her wince, and she looked at San with apologetic eyes.

"If something happens to us, I'm sorry, San. I'll do my best to save you. The man-the ghost is after me. I don't know why," Seohyun sighed, and San squeezed her hand assuringly.

"I'm with you. Nothing will happen," he whispered, thinking he must sound stupid to say that. But it must have given her some sort of assurance. She put her head on San's chest, sighing again.

The two of them heard the sounds of things getting destroyed alright, Seohyun hearing the man as well, and Seohyun almost cried in relief as she heard Jiwoo whisper her name.

"I can teleport you, but what about him-"

"Either we both go, or we both stay," Seohyun said firmly. She wasn't going to leave him alone.

"Go where?" San asked. Seohyun told him her friend was here and she could help.

Jiwoo looked at Seohyun and a slow grin appeared on her face. "There is something I could try..."

"What?" Seohyun narrowed her eyes at Jiwoo.

"What if I teleport you, but you're still holding San? Would he come with us?"

"I don't know, unnie..." Seohyun trailed, but an idea stuck to her. "It's the same as when I have something with me right? A bag, a cap, something. But that's objects. What about actual humans?"

"Remember when we accidentally teleported our cat once? It was holding on to you and you had forgotten. What if this works?"

Seohyun bit her lip. It was worth a try. "If it doesn't work, promise me we'll come back to San right then."

"But your body can't handle too many teleportations-"

"Promise me," Seohyun insisted, and Jiwoo rolled her eyes as she nodded. "Hurry up, he's closer."

"San, listen to me carefully," Seohyun said. "You know what teleportation is, right?"

San wanted to ask her if now was really the time, but he said yes- from the movies, and she continued, "I'm gonna attempt to teleport you along with me. My friend is gonna do that. You have to trust me."

"No way," San muttered, sighing deeply.

"Yes, you were stupid and brave enough to follow me, so yes, we are teleporting. I've done it before, but I've never teleported someone... normal with me, so this might not work. So if I disappear, and you're here all alone, I promise you, San, that I'll be back within a minute, okay?"

"How am I supposed to make sense of all you're saying?" San's eyes were helpless.

"Just... trust me. I won't leave you alone. I promise. Now, I have to, er, hold you, so she can teleport us. Gotta make sure I take you with me..."

Seohyun heard Jiwoo snicker, and she passed her a death glare. San, tempted to roll his eyes, held her hands.

"I'm afraid I'll have to hold you tighter. You see, when we teleport, we tend to lose what we're not holding tightly..."

"Oh..." San left her hands, and Seohyun muttered 'here goes nothing' as she wrapped her arms around San's waist, surprised that it was so small.

"Hold me tightly, and no matter what, do not let me go, you understand?"

"Yes ma'am," San said as he bent down to place his chin on her shoulder and bring her closer. "This okay?"

"Yes," Seohyun realized she was holding her breath, so she said, "Take a deep breath, San."

San did so, and Jiwoo smirked a little, watching two scared children hug each other. She came forward, holding Seohyun only, and did her magic.

San felt his stomach twist and turn, saw a million colourful stars, almost got nauseous but his only comfort was Seohyun so he held her tighter and shut his eyes. He didn't open them again until he landed on hard ground, his back aching with the impact.

He opened his eyes and saw... nothing.

He wasn't sure if he was blind or not, but he looked down and saw Seohyun half on top of him, attempting to get up, and he realized he had his vision all right.

"Where the hell," Seohyun got up, "are we?"

"I guess your body could only attempt a half trip," Jiwoo said, and San instantly turned at the voice, making eye contact with the red haired girl.

"That's the ghost friend that teleported us?" San asked Seohyun.

"You can see her!?" Seohyun asked, and San looked at Jiwoo.

"I wasn't supposed to see her, was I?" He raised his brow, and Seohyun looked at Jiwoo.

"Hey, kid, nice to officially meet you," Jiwoo said, holding out a hand to him so he could stand up. San tried to take it, but his hand passed through Jiwoo's hand, and he gasped.

"I guess you can only see then," Seohyun bit her lip as she looked around. "Is this where ghosts come when they... move on?"

"That's where I come when I'm not on planet Earth," Jiwoo said, "It's like another plane, you could say, another dimension overlapping ours, except this one is for ghosts."

"What now? Should we try again?" Seohyun asked, coughing a bit.

"You should take a breather first. Your body can't handle it," Jiwoo nodded at her and Seohyun sat down on the ground, putting her head over her knees as she brought them closer, shivering a little. Jiwoo was right, something was happening to her. Like a cold coming to her.

"Is she okay?" San asked Jiwoo, and she shrugged. San ran his fingers through his hair as he looked around, finding no source of light that illuminated the area around them.

So Seohyun wasn't crazy. Somehow, though it made no sense, she could see ghosts, she could touch them. San looked at Jiwoo and opened his mouth to ask something, but then thought against it. Now was not the time.

"I know you have a lot of questions," Jiwoo commented, "Let's try to get out of here first before we have the talk."

"Has she... ever brought someone here?" San asked.

"This is the first time she came here too," Jiwoo said, "Usually when a ghost teleports her, it's quick and efficient. Much like you see in movies or books."

"We should get out of this place quick. I don't want him to come find us here," Seohyun said, getting up.

"Are you sure you're okay? Can you make it back?" Jiwoo asked.

"I have to," Seohyun said.

Jiwoo nodded, and Seohyun looked at San for permission. San came forward and they both held each other tight as Jiwoo attempted to teleport them again.

This time, they landed on soft grass, but the impact with which they did sent them rolling a bit. San's breath was knocked out of him and he coughed loudly, gasping for breath. As soon as he recovered, he looked for Seohyun-

Seohyun was bent rather awkwardly, and it looked like she wasn't moving. San and Jiwoo both rushed to her, straightening her body. Jiwoo checked if she was breathing.

"She is breathing. She must have collapsed from being tired, don't worry, it's happened before too," Jiwoo assured him.

San sighed, looking up at the sky, wondering what he had gotten himself into. He looked around, finding the place familiar.

"Is this... the park near our school?" San asked Jiwoo.

"Yes, I tried to teleport us as close to Seohyun's home as possible, but looks like we could only make it till here."

"What if someone had seen us appear out of thin air?"

Jiwoo laughed. "They'd probably run for their lives. You'd be aliens."

San smiled a little at that. That's exactly what he would have thought if he had seen Seohyun.

"So are you... Seohyun's friend?" San finally asked.

"You could say that. I'm older than her so she always calls me unnie, but I keep telling her to call me Jiwoo."

"Then I'll call you noona," San smiled, making Jiwoo grin.

"She helps ghosts move on. When someone dies and they have unfinished business that they just can't leave behind, they sometimes choose to become ghosts until they get done with that. Seohyun helps them do that."

"That must be hard..." San wondered if it was always as bad as this time.

"It is, but what happened today is not a common occurrence. The man she saw today, he's been dead for a good while and has forgotten his purpose here. I once heard the other ghosts talk about him too. Ghosts like that, you have to avoid them. They're bitter, and usually mean Seohyun harm."

"So now... I can see you, does that mean I'll be able to see other ghosts too?"

"You'll find out soon," Jiwoo said.

Seohyun woke up with a gasp, her eyes wide. Jiwoo helped her sit up, and Seohyun muttered 'water'. San quickly opened Seohyun's bag and fished out her bottle, which she drank hungrily from, some water spilling down her chin as well.

"Slow down, kid," Jiwoo patted her back. Seohyun emptied the whole bottle, wiping her chin, then felt something run down her nose.

"Nosebleed. Do you have tissues?" Jiwoo asked and Seohyun shrugged, looking upwards and holding her nose. Jiwoo searched through her bag but San took out a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to Seohyun.

"Does this usually happen?" San asked.

"No... it's the first time," Jiwoo admitted. Seohyun nodded too. "When we accidentally teleported the cat with her, she became dehydrated, but that was it."

Seohyun wiped her nose, looking at Jiwoo and she gave her a thumbs up.

"I shouldn't have followed you..." San shook his head, "It's because of me that-"

"You shouldn't have, but I'm kind of glad you did. Jiwoo is unreliable as a ghost friend and who knows what would have happened to me if you were not there? I could have died," Seohyun said nonchalantly.

"HEY!" Jiwoo smacked her arm but Seohyun ignored her.

"But look at you-" San was cut by Seohyun putting her hand up and saying, "I need food, and I mean NOW."

A few minutes later, they were watching Seohyun hungrily gulp down noodles and fried chicken. San had stopped eating midway just to watch her eat with a speed he hadn't ever seen before.

"Are you sure you're even chewing?" He asked, and Seohyun glared at him.

"The food is not going anywhere, Seohyun, slow down," Jiwoo laughed, "seeing you eat like this is making me wish I could eat too."

"Okay, mom," Seohyun said, finally slowing down. They ate the rest of the food silently, then Seohyun decided she'd like some coffee. They decided to walk her home as she sipped on her coffee and answered San's questions.

"Have you ever told anyone?" San asked first.

"Never. My mom only knows because she's, well, my mom and it's weird when a little kid sees stuff nobody else does."

"And what has she done about this?" San wasn't sure if he should have asked this.

Seohyun sighed, "She tried to 'help' me, but then she decided avoiding me was the best way. So now she's married to her work."

"And your dad?"

"He's never been here in the first place."

"Oh..." San faltered, but saw Seohyun shrug. "You can ask me anything, San. You deserve an explanation. Don't hesitate."

"Why can you see ghosts?"

"I don't know that either," Seohyun smiled as she looked at the sky. "Born this way?"

"Would you have ever told us?" San asked. Seohyun stopped walking at that, and faced him.

"To be honest, I've never made friends, San, because of this reason. That someone would find out. They'd never believe me, they'd think I'm crazy. So I don't know if I would have told you guys, ever," Seohyun paused, "But you found out, and you witnessed everything. What do you think?"

San scratched his neck. "I think you're right. I don't think any of us would have believed you. We'd have dismissed it as a joke. But now that I did see everything... It's different now. I hope you understand that."

"You sure you don't want to, I don't know, ever talk to me and all?"

San smiled. "You think I'd abandon my friend just like that?"

Seohyun couldn't help but stare at San, his sharp eyes that grew warmer every time he smiled, how they slightly curved.

"I want you to know that if it was anyone of us, and they had seen what I had seen, they would have never abandoned you. We don't take our friendships lightly."

"That's... good to hear," Seohyun finally smiled. "Do you think they'd believe us if we tell them?"

"They'd need some convincing, but yes, they would. Do you want to tell them?"

"Not yet," Seohyun said, "When the time is right."

San nodded, and squeezed her hand. "If you're ever in danger, you tell me, okay? If you need anyone, or anything, you tell me, got it? You don't have to face this alone anymore."

Seohyun almost cried right there, but she held it back, squeezing his hand back and nodding. They walked a few minutes until she finally reached home.

"Thank you, San. For everything." Seohyun smiled at him, and this time it was a true smile. San was actually taken aback. It felt like she had truly smiled for the first time, unfiltered.

"Anytime," San managed to say, and watched her go in. He took a deep breath, trying to shake off the image of Seohyun smiling, but found himself smiling too.

Meanwhile, Seohyun collapsed as soon as she entered, and she allowed herself to cry, both happy and sad tears, happy that someone finally understood her, and sad that it hadn't happen earlier. Jiwoo sat down with her, silently rubbing her back.

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Seohyun almost slept in the next day, only woken up for school when Jiwoo threw her off the bed for 'sleeping like a sloth'. She couldn't exactly blame her. Seohyun had been so tired that after crying her heart out, she'd only had the energy to change before she collapsed on her bed and slept without moving an inch.

"My whole body hurts like I did some major workout," Seohyun mumbled as she tried running towards school, but gave up. She'd just walk.

"I don't recall you having such after effects after a teleportation," Jiwoo wondered.

"When it's just me, I'm only drained a bit. Like running. But even when I took the cat accidentally, my head hurt a lot. This time it was a whole human."

"Maybe because they aren't meant to be there," Jiwoo shrugged, meowing at the cat who appeared out of nowhere as usual. "Sometimes I think you might have transferred this teleportation thing to your cat too."

"Except 'I' can't teleport. You ghosts can," Seohyun corrected. She'd be lying if she said she hadn't tried teleporting herself home from school. How cool would that have been?

Jiwoo picked the cat and quickly passed it to Seohyun so no one would witness a flying cat. Seohyun draped her over her shoulder so Jiwoo could play with her. As they were walking, they saw San standing in a corner. He waved, then joined them.

"Hi noona," he said, and Jiwoo tried poking San but her hand went through him.

"I guess you can still only see," Jiwoo shook her head, continuing to pet the cat.

"You can touch the cat? And she sees you?" San asked, curiously watching them.

"Ever since we accidentally teleported her, I can touch her. But I'm pretty sure she could see me before too. All cats can, I think."

"Interesting..."

"Were you... waiting for us or something?" Seohyun finally asked.

"I was. I couldn't sleep last night, truth be told. I kept thinking about what happened. In fact, I'm surprised I didn't freak out..."

"I'm more surprised about that," Seohyun admitted.

"Meanwhile Seohyun here slept as soon as she reached home and I had to wake her up for school too," Jiwoo flipped her hair dramatically. Seohyun scoffed at that.

"You must be very tired... Are you okay?" San asked.

Seohyun nodded, and before she could say something they heard someone calling their names. It was Wooyoung and Yeosang. They joined them, Wooyoung putting his arm over San's shoulder as he said, "You're early today. You usually come in last minute."

"I woke up early today," San said casually, his eyes darting towards Seohyun unconsciously. Yeosang noticed that, trying to stop the smile creeping on his mouth as he looked between Seohyun and San. Seohyun gave him a warning glare, one she made sure was strong enough.

As they waited for class to start, Seohyun was resting her head on the desk. She couldn't quite believe the fact that someone now knew who she was, and was not disgusted or freaked out by her. She couldn't stop wondering what the future would be like, what if this group of boys would really get her to warm up to them, and how they would react if they found out.

San turned around in his seat, a frown growing on his face as he noticed how tired she looked. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Just very, very tired," Seohyun sighed, lifting her head.

"What if the ghost-man comes here?" San asked.

"Oh. I'd totally forgotten about him..." Seohyun bit her lip, "Well, he knows better not to make a scene in front of people, so chances are he won't."

"Chances? That ghost was dangerous!" San hissed, "What if he does come here?"

"Jiwoo must be out on watch. She'd warn me." Seohyun said, and San looked a little relieved at that. "It's not like the ghost can hurt you, so don't worry."

San rolled his eyes. "I'm worried about you, stupid."

"Oh," Seohyun paused. "You don't have to. I'll be fine."

San tsk-ed at her, turning back in his seat. Seohyun stared at the back of his head. Yunho dragged his seat towards Seohyun as he said, "You both are getting along rather well."

"Well," Seohyun slumped back in her seat, "he keeps talking."

Yunho laughed at that, "He's been thinking of names for your cat too."

"I won't approve if I don't like it. He knows that, right?"

"I'll give a good name, don't worry," San turned back in his seat, having overheard the conversation.

"I don't have much expectations from you, to be honest," Seohyun said casually, tucking her hair behind her ear, "I think Jongho there could give a much better name. He looks like he actually uses his brain."

Yunho and San looked at each other and giggled at that. Her observation was true. Jongho was infamously known as the 'only braincell' of the group. Yunho told her that, which actually made her smile.

"See? I know how to spot the smart ones."

"Who do you think is the most dumb one out of us?" San asked, attempting to make puppy eyes so she won't pick him. Seohyun looked at each one of them slowly, then said, "I haven't talked to you all much, but Wooyoung looks like he doesn't really like to use his brain."

The pair of them laughed so loud at that, catching the rest of the boys' attention as Seohyun tried to shut them up. But they were in tears, slapping their thighs as they laughed.

"Can the both of you stop? San you're second dumbest, just so you know."

That just made them laugh harder. The boys slowly came to them, muttering how they wanted to know what was 'so funny that they were howling'.

"She thinks the smartest one of us is Jongho, and the dumbest is Wooyoung," Yunho finally explained.

Wooyoung was laughing at first until he realized and yelled "HEY!" Jongho giggled, looking satisfied.

"Your brain processing is just a bit slow, that's all. No offence," Seohyun muttered.

"I mean, she's not wrong..." Hongjoong made an impressed face.

"Where do I stand?" Mingi asked, "I'm the second smartest right?"

"From below, yes," Seohyun said, making them all laugh. They all insisted that she rank them, and then they'd tell her if she was right about this.

"I don't actually think you're dumb, okay? This is just a joke, don't take it seriously-"

"I know, we all know," Wooyoung assured her, smiling warmly, "carry on."

"...Okay," Seohyun hesitated a bit then started, "Hongjoong is smartest obviously but Jongho is quite smart too? He seems more mature. Then Yeosang or Seonghwa, San somewhere in the middle depending on how awake he is, not sure about Yunho, but Mingi and Wooyoung... well they're pretty close. Because they don't like using their brains..."

"Most of it is accurate," Hongjoong agreed, "Yunho is more lucky than smart."

"Ah.. must be nice to be god's favourite," Seohyun scoffed. "But hey, I like Mingi and Wooyoung. They make you all laugh. That's more important."

Mingi and Wooyoung clapped at that, finally approving.

------------

It was finally after school, when San insisted on accompanying her to her home so she would get there 'safe', that they encountered the old ghost right outside her house.

"Get behind me" San protectively pushed Seohyun behind her.

"I appreciate the gesture, San, but this won't work. Use your brain."

"Oh... Right," San scratched his head and Jiwoo, who had also been with them the entire time, stepped forward.

"We can talk this out like civil human beings and ghosts. Then you can decide if you really want to kill Seohyun."

"NOONA!" San shouted in disbelief but she dismissed him with a wave of her hand.

"Very touching, all this, but I agree, we can have a normal conversation," the old man said.

"How long have you been a ghost exactly?"

"So long that I have forgotten my purpose, girl," the ghost snickered. "I heard from some older ghosts that killing the mediator by our own hands would make us move on."

Seohyun saw San and Jiwoo both tense. "And you thought you'd check?"

The old man nodded. "The mediator before you... Some other ghost killed him. It was some sort of revenge. He was supposed to help me."

"I could help some other way, because killing me doesn't really sound like a solution to me... Like, think about it. It doesn't make sense."

"Are you sure you aren't saying that because you don't want to die yet?" The old man smirked.

"Oh please," Seohyun faked swagger, "If I had an option, I'd kill me too." San shook his head at her.

"Very well. I'll hear you out."

Seohyun explained that she knew an old shaman who helped ghosts with no purpose to move on. It took some convincing and death threats to Seohyun, but she finally made him realize that it might be his one and only option now, and that he should just 'stop being a pain and move the hell on'.

"If it turns out to be a scam, I promise I'll come for you, whether it helps me move on or not."

"Please do," Seohyun replied nonchalantly. The ghost signaled to Jiwoo and they disappeared.

San turned to see that Seohyun was now leaning against the wall, wiping sweat from her forehead as she sighed in relief. "Nice acting."

Seohyun looked at him once before drinking from her water bottle. She had noticed the disapproval in his voice. She stared at him when she was done, and he stared back for a good few seconds before he finally sighed loudly.

"How can you be so... stupid at times like these?"

"How was that stupid? I talked to him and poured sense into him. And it worked. I don't see the problem."

"Does your life mean nothing to you?" San asked.

"San, chill, it was just acting-"

"Those ghosts can touch you!" San was louder this time, making Seohyun flinch a little, "They can hurt you like any other human, hell, they can hurt you in worse ways than that! How can you be so relaxed when gambling with your life?!"

Seohyun watched as San ran a hand through his hair frustratingly, clearly holding himself back. His whole body was tense, his jaw was set and he was not having any of it.

"Are you done?" Seohyun asked, making sure it came out soft. San shook his head.

"I've been seeing ghosts my entire life. My mom took me to all sorts of people for help. You think I don't know how dangerous it is? I learned from the worst. And I'm old enough and experienced enough to know how to handle rogue ghosts like these. Trust me on that."

"I know you are, Seohyun," San admitted, "I just hate it when you talk about your life like it means nothing. Like you'd have no problem if something happened."

"Let's just say I haven't had something I'd like to live for yet," Seohyun said.

San locked eyes with her. "I'll make it change now."

"What?"

"There's so much to life. I know you haven't had the best life, but you have people you can rely on now. And I'll make sure you'll have something to live for."

"What do you live for?" Seohyun asked, curious.

San smiled. "My parents, my grandparents, my friends. And myself."

"Doesn't it... get too much? Living for all of them... must be hard. And boring."

"What's hard and boring is when I had nothing to live for," San said, "When life became repetitive, and I didn't really love anyone, including myself. But now... I have something to look forward to. And no matter if it gets hard, I'll have people to lean on. So ask yourself this, Seohyun. Is it hard living like me or is it hard living like you?"

San knew his words had crossed her, so he locked eyes with her for a second longer before he waved and left for home, leaving Seohyun wondering if she really had wasted all her life repelling people, and if it really had been a wise decision.

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syubub · 4 years ago

Text

May 13th Reading

Definitely long awaited and way bigger than I intended it to be so buckle up.

Funky disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards!

Oh boy. The continuation of yoongis soulmate saga.

(Note frome future me: it's not proofread but I'm hungry. Sorry for mistakes!)

So so so so

Let's start.

I started with all the normal jazz. Connecting with his energy and shit. Same as usual same old same old. Platform= same same. I was like, "hey, let's talk about your soulmate and the whole may 13th shit" and we connected via energy stringy thing to the forehead and such. I was intresting bc my end of the string was kinda my energy color! Neato. Looks like some rest has really done me good!

Okay, here's where I start actually asking shit. I made notes at this point before the reading as I usually do. I'm just gonna insert the screen shot here.

The 14 thing really fucked me up. You'll see later. Also, when I got the whole Pisces Jupiter thing I had to do me some googling bc we established that Jupiter went into Pisces ON May 13th so I was like?? Am I missing something?

I was. I forgot that it goes retrograde and then co.es back to Pisces on December 28th. And I do indeed think it to be significant.

The shit about temperance makes a lot of sense. In yoongis first soulmate read I flipped my shit bc he was like, "You're gonna get temperance reverse" in regards to a card for his soulmate and I was like "pft whatever. Don't play me like that"

And then I got temperance reverse. It's been a significant card from the jump.

I asked him if he had any advice for his soulmate and that's what "Don't wait for big things, you'll miss the small ones that lead you to bigger things" and "Look for facts before assuming" and "Don't try pushing it, forcing it won't make sense" and "A spade is a spade/ ace is an ace" and "Don't make ill informed guesses" all were

Now this part:

"Union has happened , yet to on the physical"

Gave me some hints thankfully because he straight up said no more hints.

This ties back into the whole Jupiter thing too. The seeds are/ have been planted and now they have to grow before they can be harvested.

Well Mr. Yoongi, I'm impatient and I don't want to wait. I want to see you in love pronto.

Anyways

He showed me a little dream box/ trinket box looking thing and a super vague Keychain with no further explanation... so... there's that I guess.

I can't quite decide if "Don't make ill informed guesses" was a tongue-in-cheek pike at me or if it was genuine advice to his soulmate? He just loves to not explain things.

Now let's begin the monster read.

So. The first row of cards

I asked the question, "what the fuck was May 13th and what was it's purpose in regards to your connection"

Important is what it was lol. I interpret this as them finding their footing and this being the starting point of the genuine foundation being layer. Like they've been manifesting eachother for a while but May 13th marked the start of them making the real life changes in their actual lives that will be the set up for them meeting.

The seven of coins is about thoughtful planning and creating security/ stable plan. The tower is essentially ripping away anything and everything that was built on unstable foundation and challenging/ testing your character (an extremely rude awakeing if you will). Judgement is releasing the past so you can rise above it and confronting yourself as you are (Also legit awakening) the queen of coins is financial security and self confidence in your abilities. Ten of coins is prosperity and abundance and most of all, stability. Eight of wands is explosion of potential and rapid movement. Temperance is awareness and balance between physical and spiritual. It's also that quiet peace where you find balance.

So. Seeing all those cards it really does seem like maybe his soulmate took on something new that could lead straight to union? Same for yoongi. I'd like to analyze and recent or new-ish habits or hobbies he's picked up?

Moving right along though. I asked what the 13th did for each of them in their personal life and personal journey. Kinda like what came as a result of that energy? Let's start with yoongles

This was really intresting to me. I think he definitely gained some form of clarity about the situation with that sun card. The 5 of cups tells me that either he was kinda forced to confront some of his flaws in a way that he was trying to avoid or he had to consciously let go of something dear to him? Could be something he had to leave behind because it crumbled with the tower moment but he didn't see it coming or didn't know that it was time to part with it? With that queen of wands though fits beautifully with the sun! Its like he's found warmth after a long winter. Definitely found a spark of compassion and generosity from a place of happiness and love rather than anger, fear, obligation or pitty.

I asked for clarity cards/ anything else that may 13th signified bringing in and we got the 2 of cups and 10 of swords. I have two thoughts. Either he let go of a relationship that he was already in because he didn't feel as though they were particularly compatible anymore (Also ties into the above section) OR the 13th had made him very much consciously aware of his soulmates incoming status and he is now preparing and working on himself for when this person comes. The 10 of swords would be him releasing the past and the pain and any ill fitting behavior that don't vibe with him any longer. Yellow really seems to be working for him by the way.

Soulmate time

Lol. All signs point to his soulmate genuinely starting a new venture. New creative pursuit that will bring them good money. 10 of pentacles is abundance, prosperity and stability. The ace of wands is a new creative spark and passion and it's the first big steps into something new. The 2 of wands is "the world is in the palm of your hands" vibes. Choices need to be made swiftly and with the ace of wands I think they will be. With the heirophant too, it will be a well informed decision because they've been manifesting this and has been searching for all the possible information.

As for clarity, we have the moon. Damn. Soulmates been doing that shadow work. Dredging up all their bullshit and getting rid of it while still taking the time to sit with it and release it so nothing is unresolved. Also probably extra creative due to all the emotional baggage being thrown out. (Definitely helping with the ace of wands vibes tbh)

Now for the bad boys in the middle

The question I asked is what those individual changes (detailed in the last two sections) will bring for the bond and I just can with them. These fuckers. I am so invested in their love story bc it's so... them? And just so fucking ROMANTIC. UGH I CAN'T.

Back to the point. High priestess, 4 of wands and the lovers. The high priestess is deep knowing and insane intuition, the 4 of wands is the purest joy and marriage and the lovers is well, the lovers.a magical union.

FUCK DUDE I NEED THIS TO BE A ROMCOM.

For the row of bottom cards

I asked if they had anything at all to add so I'm gonna explain each card individually bc I think they could be individual tid bits of shit.

Knight of coins is good news about finances/ money looking promising and organized work (also dependability!!). Death is all about transformation, the beginning of a new chapter and accepting in order to move foward. Ace of coins is spiritual and material abundance and also a reminder to keep grounded. Page of swords is confidence, important news coming and really good insight! Roots out secrets or hidden things like a truffle pig. The star is promising potential, healing and guidance from an enexpected place. The two of cups is a soul connection, love, intuition especially in regards to another person and a good bind. The emperor is self awareness, foresight, fearlessness to achieve a goal and confidence. Eight of coins rev is poor discipline and skating by on low effort.

Now to the sides!

Yoongi is the left, soulmate is the right.

So, let's begin with yoongi. The first two cards are anything he wants to say to his soulmate. Wheel of fortune and three of swords reverse. I take this as "its all in divine time/ it's destiny" (wheel of fortune) and "trust your intuition. It's okay to get hurt, you just need to remember you can always pick yourself up" (3of swords rev.)

We have now cards that I asked what he was learning through this process/ in this time. Be positive and first step.

The last two cards are affirmations he wants to give his soulmate.

"When I introduce joy to a situation, I change the vibrational frequency of what's happening around me" and "directing my focus onto what's thriving creates more of what I want"

Now for soulmates cards (same structure)

Strength and eight of swords. "You're stronger than you think. Take every part of yourself and acknowledge it. You're a force to be reckoned with" (strength) and (soulmate snapped at him on this) "the only thing holding you captive is you."

Now we have peer pressure (I think soulmate is learning to say "fuck you" and "fuck off" to people who have a set idea of how everyone should be living their lives), emotional healing and open your arms to receiving.

Then we have "its good to feel good" (lol I feel like yoongi definitely needs this one) and "when I connect to the spiritual realm, I open the door to recieve divine guidance, clear direction, and great wisdom"

The last stretch my friends.

So. Completion, leave behind the things that no longer serve you. Exist in the present and don't keep mulling over the past or any future happenings. Magic, pay attention to the magic around you. Listen for the signs of the universe and take them as they come (essentially listen to divine guidance) . Be open minded but logical as well. Luminous warrior, try focusing on the good in yourself instead of berating yourself for every small flaw. Spiritual path, self explanatory. The blade, your power can be a weapon when used willy nilly (most often wounding the wielder) or it can heal. Don't fear it but also consider how you choose to utilize it. The give away, be greaful for the sake of being greatful for it, not because you want something in return. The rain maker, manifestation station. Create with the tools you have because you have everything you need in order to manifest. "Don't take life personally"

Now we have heaven sent.

""Let yourself be helped" assistance is coming your way so act on it and say yes"

" This Oracle also comes with the message that you are to trust in the things that you feel and say to others without knowing why. It moves them. You might not understand, but through trust you are allowing yourself not to overthink and censor yourself. As such you are able to become a vessel through which the spiritual gift can be passed on to others. Don't block yourself. Let life happen through you. Only benefit can come from this."

And free from judgment, free to love

" If you have been asking life for a solution to a specific difficulty you have been having, this Oracle comes with the message that a solution is in gestation right now. This situation is already being sorted out and the resolution will come to fruition very soon. Hold tight and wait for the eminent birth of that resolution."

" This Oracle also brings you a message about love. You may find that you are loving, or soon will love, in a different way. You may worry about this love, given that it defies what you have known or been taught about love. Perhaps you are becoming able to love another tremendously, even though you don't have much of a personal relationship with them. You might question if this love is real. It is real Kama it is just happening at a different level to the love and attachment you experience when you are involved in a personal relationship with someone. It is not more or less, it is just a different facet of love. It may be that you are opening up to love the planet and her creatures, including the animals, the ocean dwelling life, your own body, the trees and so on, more than before period you may feel passionately purposeful about giving your time and energy to causes that protect and nurture the Earth and her creatures. You are affirmed in this love too. The universal mother is operating through you to nurture life. She will support you in your work, so that you can continue To come from love and not become drained, depleted or lost in despair or fear of futility. Instead, you will be energised and expanded by your dedicated service to life."

" Finally, this Oracle has a message for those who may be feeling alone or lonely in a need of greater nurturing from others. You are asked to stop, relax, centre and settle into your body to feel your connection with life itself. The air in your lungs is the same as the air that moves through the trees. The water in your blood is the same water that fills the oceans and is moved by the phases of the moon. The flesh of your body is the same substance as the body of the Earth itself. The heat in your digestive system is the same fire and heat as that from the Sun. Feel this connection, then do something nice for another without agenda. Make a donation, even if just a small one, smile, say a prayer, sent out a good thought or make a wish for another. That's it. You have connected to life again and in doing so, life can connect with you. And so it shall.

And that's all for the cards but but but.

Someone (either my guide or yoongi) was like, "do a song. Do a song. Do a song." And I was like, "oki doki, sounds good.

So I asked what numbers I should try refreshing and then it hit me. The number 14 came up before the reading and it seemed a bit misplaced? So I did 14 shuffles and look what popped up

You gotta be fucking with me.

Istg these fools will actually be the death of me dude. Euphoria is so romantic and I lowkey feels like it describes a bit of what their bond must be like.

YOONGGGIIII

Anyway,

I came back to the platform to be like, "thanks homie" and it was weird bc he was practically pure energy? Like usually I visualize his energy as what his physical body looks like because it's easier to comprehend? But nope, he was just a big shimmery glob of energy.

As I was going to disconnect, a few things happened. I felt tingly and the platform was vibrating almost? So I was like, "hold on, what the fuck is this?"

And then

It hit me

"MIN YOONGI IS YOUR SOULMATE HERE??"

I could tell this fuckin asshole was smug even in his blue glob form.

The color was... blue like yoongi but also a light lavender/ pink kinda vibe. Pretty damn distinct.

I was so stoked and I thought we'd all get to chat and I could yell at his soulmate for being an elusive asshat

But Mr smug butt had different plans.

My dude dropped a little marble thing in my hand and I was like ??? And he was like, "you'll know when you need it" and I was like ?????

My guide took pity on me and said, "it's just a representation on information that you've been given but it isn't the proper time to unpack it yet"

Cool cool so like and energetic zip file that will release itself whenever it damn well pleases? Cool cool cool.

(Asshole)

Anyway, I genuinely think that my excitement of this whole situation must somehow also influence how yoongis energy handles my prodding? Like what the fuck is this marble bullshit?

To top it all off, he gives me a friendly shove off of his platform.

Thanks, buddy.

Now we are here. And as always, I'm left with more questions.

My main take away is that amay 13th through July 28th will be all the foundation and ground work and December 28th 2021 through May 10th (11th? 9th?) 2022 will be a more likely time for physical union and actual relationship stuffs.

Anyone who knows more about astrology please feel free to chime in on this whole Jupiter in Pisces bit! My understanding is super surface level!!

~~~~

That was a big boi and now my thumbs hurt real bad. Hope you were entertained by the chaos.

#bts #bts tarot #bts reactions #yoongi #bts imagines #bts readings #yoongi imagine #bts suga #min suga #suga #min yoongi

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