#here i am just from india. which is like....sure yeah that's the passport i have

[nohkalikai]

u know. as long as i was surrounded by other northeasterners irl, i didn't feel out of place or like an impostor. but being away from friends and family has in no small dose played a part in my profound sense of alienation from one of the cultures i come from. culture is a contentious, undefinable word; i am no stranger to this. still, it's a very strange feeling.

[octothorpetopus]

Across The Universe (Aaron Hotchner x Emily Prentiss)

Hotch would have chased Emily to the ends of the earth if he had to. So he did.

A/N: I’ll be honest, this is not in any way canon compliant, and I didn’t really have a specific timeline in mind as to when this is occurring. Thanks to @agenthotchner for the idea.

Hotch wasn’t sure at what point he decided to go. He had been thinking about it for months, to the point where he had planned it out to the last detail. But then there was the matter of Jack, who he owed a trip to his aunt’s house, and that he didn’t actually know where Emily was. Every time he thought about pulling out his phone and calling her, he thought better of it, for months and months and months. And then the one time he did, he found that the number no longer belonged to her.

Then he remembered the one person he knew who could find anyone on earth if she put her mind to it, so he called her.

“Garcia?”

“Sir Hotch? It’s been a minute.” Through the phone, it was like he could hear her smile, and he smiled too.

“It’s nice to hear from you, Penelope. Listen, I need you to do something for me.”

“Anything for you. What’s up?” Hotch paused. Could he ask her to do this? Did he want to ask her to do this? And then he pictured Emily’s face, her broad, white smile, framed by pitch-black hair, her eyes that saw everything.

“I need you to find someone.” Garcia sighed.

“Hotch-“

“Please.”

“Hotch, I’ve looked for her, but she’s smart. She doesn’t want to be found.” Hotch nodded. He had expected as much.

“Thanks anyway, Garcia.”

“See you in a week for Christmas?” He chuckled.

“Yeah.”

“Hey, Hotch?”

“What’s up?”

“I love you just a little bit.”

“I know, Penelope.” He hung up and fell backwards on the sofa in his empty apartment. Oh, well. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be. In the meantime, while Jack was gone, he could get through the stuff he had to do at home. And he would start with the massive pile of junk mail that had collected on the kitchen counter.

Halfway through the stack of bills and catalogs, Hotch came across an unassuming cream-colored envelope. It was nicer, heavier paper than most mail, he noticed. And then he flipped it over and saw the scrawled, loopy handwriting he had struggled to decipher on a thousand reports, that had signed a half-dozen birthday and Christmas cards that he had received from twenty different countries. It was Emily, he saw her in her writing, in his own name and address. His hands shook as he opened the envelope and unfolded the heavy white paper.

Aaron, it read,

I haven’t heard from you in a while. Which is admittedly my fault. Anyway, I know you hate to get sappy, but I miss you. I miss everyone, but it seems like every day I see something and I think, “that would make Hotch smile”. I miss your smile, Hotch. I’m just writing to say merry Christmas, I guess, to you and Jack. I won’t be back for the holidays, so I find myself having plenty of time to write this letter (and more) in between glasses of wine alone on my fire escape. Give my love to everyone, and I’ll see you when I do. Hopefully soon, if you know me as well as I think you do. Much love from Stockholm, Emily.

Hotch read the letter, and re-read it, and then re-read it again.

“Am I reading into this?” He asked himself silently. But there was no one on earth he knew better than Emily, and there was no one who knew him better than her. He got up and practically ran to his home office. He pulled out the legal pad he had been so fond of writing notes out on in his attorney days. “If I know you as well as I think that I do.” “Much love from Stockholm.” It was a message if he had ever seen one, and he had seen dozens.

Hotch had his go bag out from under the bed and packed within five minutes. He grabbed his passport from the kitchen drawer, his car keys and wallet, and was out the door in ten. There weren’t many flights to Stockholm, but he found one, and ten hours later he stepped off the plane in Sweden. And that was when he promptly realized he didn’t know how to find Emily and he didn’t speak a word of Swedish. So he called the one person who could help him, once again.

“Garcia,” she answered, yawning. “Hotch, it’s two in the morning.”

“In Stockholm, it’s eight o’clock.”

“What does that have to do with anything? Wait, Hotch, are you in Sweden right now?”

“Yes, and as a matter of fact, so is Emily. Penelope, I need you to find her. Look for a driver’s license, employment records, whatever you can to find her address.”

“Fine. Give me twenty minutes. I’ll call you back.” She called back almost exactly twenty minutes later.

“So, Emily was working as a trauma counselor for a month or so, but her records end about a month and a half ago. I did manage to get a home address, though.” Hotch listened and scrawled down the address on his legal pad.

“Thanks, Garcia. Go back to bed.”

“Yes, sir. I’ll talk to you later. Preferably when the sun’s up.”

Hotch caught a cab to the address Penelope had given him, but when he talked to the landlord, he found-

“Sorry, she left almost two months ago,” the landlord said in strongly accented English. Hotch nodded and turned to leave, but the landlord cleared his throat. “Wait. You wouldn’t happen to be, ah, Aaron Hotchner?”

“Yes, that’s me.” The landlord nodded and reached behind the building’s front desk. He pulled out an envelope, the same heavy cream-colored paper with messy blue ink across it.

“She left this for you.” Hotch took the letter and read it in the cab back to the airport.

Aaron,

I’m sorry I missed you. I don’t know if my letter got lost in the mail or if you let it get caught up in that awful stack of mail you always let pile up in your kitchen. Either way, I’ve found that it wasn’t just DC I couldn’t stay in. I can’t seem to stay anywhere for too long. But again, you know me too well, so you know what I’m doing. See you soon, Hotch. Much love from Manila, Emily.

Hotch folded the letter and slipped it into his breast pocket, right alongside the first one. So. The Philippines. Well, Hotch had saved well from early in his life, including his airline miles, and he had always wanted to travel the world. Besides, Jack was at his aunt’s for another week.

And the more Hotch thought about it, the more he realized he would do this forever if he had to. He wouldn’t leave Jack behind, of course, but if he had to keep chasing Emily through letters and airplanes, he would do it. There was a time when he would have denied that, and when he would have denied feeling anything for Emily other than friendship and perhaps a strong sense of family. But he felt that family bond with Penelope, with Dave, with Derek, with JJ, with Spencer. With Emily, there was something more. Something he hadn’t realized until too late. And then that something had taken over him, made him sick with love and the pain of not knowing how to find it. Before Emily, he hadn’t understood the term ‘lovesick’. But there was no other word to describe the feeling he felt now, that grew with every hour on the plane. He was closer now, he felt it. And he would find her.

One seventeen hour flight later, the flight touched down in the Philippines, and once again, Hotch called Penelope.

“Where are you now?” She asked without bothering to greet him.

“Manila. What time is it there?”

“Nine o’clock. A.M. You’re good. Twenty minutes?”

“Sounds good.”

Twenty minutes passed and this time, Hotch had to call Penelope.

“Garcia? What’s taking so long?”

“It seems like Emily didn’t work for whatever amount of time she was there. I’m looking into hotel records now, and... got it!”

An hour later, Hotch found Emily’s hotel, and just like Stockholm, found her gone, with another letter in her place.

Aaron,

We have to stop meeting like this. Or rather, not meeting like this. I’ve only been here for about a week, and I don’t think I’ll stay any longer. It’s fine here, a little too hot for my tastes. If you’re reading this, I’ll see you in the next spot. Much love from Athens, Emily.

“Damn it, Emily, can’t you just date your letters?” He muttered. “Back to the airport, then.” And to Greece it was. Another fifteen hour flight. Hotch’s legs were cramping and he hadn’t had a steady sleep in almost three days now. He didn’t know what time it was in Greece or in DC when he called Garcia, but she picked up anyway.

“Where?”

“Athens. Twenty minutes?”

“Twenty minutes. Love ya.”

As Hotch walked the crowded city streets of Athens, staring up at the Parthenon, he thought about how little he had seen. He never had a chance to travel the world, he realized. That was always more Emily’s speed. He loved this, seeing the world through her eyes. It was like being with her. He could almost hear her cracking jokes and reciting facts, probably in her best imitation of Reid, which wasn’t particularly good.

This time, Hotch found just what he expected. A letter. He had grown to like the letters. Not as much as he would’ve liked to find her, but he liked the way she smudged the ink as she wrote and made the lines a little too long when she crossed her Ts. He wasn’t Reid, he knew next to nothing about handwriting analysis, but that didn’t mean he didn’t know her from her writing.

Aaron,

I stayed three weeks this time. I hoped you would get here sooner. I would have loved to show you the Acropolis and the Parthenon and taken you to all the temples and museums. I highly recommend you take some time to check them out. Of course, depending on how far behind you are, maybe you don’t have time. I hope you find me, still. Please find me, Hotch. Much love from Mumbai, Emily.

“Emily, why do you have to move across the continent?” He asked it as if she could answer. The letters were something, but they weren’t her. He had to find her, the real her, not just these damn letters. And the next step on that trip was India.

“Hotch, so help me god, please tell me you’re getting closer,” Penelope said as soon as she picked up the phone.

“I think so. At least, I hope so. I’m in Mumbai. She’s only two weeks ahead of me now, so she can’t have gone far. Check hotel records.”

“On it.” This time, Hotch didn’t even bother hanging up the phone. He was content to listen to her type and him quietly to herself. “Hey, Hotch?”

“Yeah?”

“You really love Emily, huh?” He hesitated. Because he did, didn’t he? Why else would be crossing the world to find her?

“Yes,” he said simply.

“Good. I love you both and you’re perfect for each other. Find her, and see if you can’t bring her home, eh?”

“I’ll see what I can do. What do you have for me?”

“Well, I have her address where she stayed for the last two weeks.”

“So she’s still here.” Hotch let out a sigh of relief.

“Well, maybe. She checked out this morning.” Hotch got in a cab and told the driver to step on it.

“Damn it!” Hotch restrained the urge to punch a wall. She had left two hours ago, the hotel manager told him, and handed him another letter.

Aaron,

Damn it. I thought I left enough time. I hope you see me. I hope I see you before Christmas. Although I can’t blame you if you decide to give up and go back home. If you do, I’ll see you when I do. I’ll keep this letter short, and I’m not sure how many more I’ll write if you don’t catch up soon. But I hope you know I’m not trying to abandon you, and if you find me, I’ll be the happiest I’ve been in years. Also, tell Penelope thank you. I’m sure there’s no way you’ve found me without her. Much love from, well, where would I disappear to? You know me, Aaron. You know me too well.

At that moment, Hotch knew exactly where she was. Just one more twelve-hour flight away.

Hotch had always liked Paris. Emily has always liked Paris, actually, and Hotch liked Emily. The truth was that Hotch didn’t much care about where he was.

“Penelope-“

“Paris?”

“Yes, how did you-?”

“Please. I’m not a profiler, but I know Emily. Anyway, she hasn’t been here long enough for me to know where she is-“

“That’s fine. I know. I just called to tell you she says thank you. And so do I.”

“You’re my best friends. I’d do anything for you. Go get the girl, Hotch.”

“Thanks, Pen.” Hotch knew exactly where she was. She didn’t often talk about Paris, but when she did, she talked about the view she loved, when she could see the Eiffel Tower and the Seine from the same window. He bought a map from a newsstand and sat down to mark it off. A drizzling rain had begun to fall, but he hardly noticed. He didn’t have Reid’s geographical profiling skills, but he could mark off the area that could see both the river and the tower. Then all he had to do was find the apartment buildings in that area. As a matter of fact, there were only three. Only one had Emily, or rather one of her aliases, in their records.

It was late and pouring rain by the time Hotch arrived. He scanned the buzzer in the dim, foggy light of the street lamps. She would use her own name this time. She had no reason to hide. So he found the button next to the name Prentiss and relief washed over him as he pushed it. And it was at that moment that he realized he had no idea what to say. But he didn’t have time to think about it because the intercom buzzed.

“Qu'est-ce?” It was French, but it was her. Hotch had to hold in a half-gasp-half-sob. “Qu'est-ce?” She repeated.

“It’s Hotch.” There was a pause, and then-

“Hotch? Oh my god, Hotch?”

“It’s me, Em,” he replied, and he found that he was crying just a little bit. His tears mixed with the rain that had now drenched his face, and for that matter the rest of him.

“Hold on.” Something buzzed and the door unlocked. Hotch heaved his bag over his shoulder and sprinted up the stairs, disregarding the elevator entirely. He ran up ten flights of stairs and down to the end of the hall, panting and trailing water behind him. He pounded on her door, knowing he was being too loud and frankly not caring. As he began to knock again, the door swung open and his fist hit empty air, and behind that empty air there was Emily, staring up at him in slack-jawed silence. And Hotch still didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t say anything. He just kissed her. His hands were on her face, her hands were on his back, and he was steadily dripping rainwater onto the hardwood floors.

“You round me,” she said at last as she broke the kiss.

“I’m one of the best FBI profilers in history. Did you think I wouldn’t?” He asked, still cupping her face in his hands.

“Not for a second. Although I got a little worried there in Athens for a minute.”

“Please. Also, I had Garcia track your employment and hotel records.”

“Hmm. Very smart.” She stepped aside to allow him in. Her apartment was filled with boxes. She had arrived mere hours before him.

“I was so close to getting you in India.”

“I know. But I’m glad it was here.” She took his hand and tugged him through the near-empty apartment.

“Emily? Where are we going?”

“Fire escape.” She crawled through the open window and helped him through. The rain soaked her down in less than a minute, but she didn’t seem to mind. From the fire escape, the Eiffel Tower was lit up in a golden spire, and the reflection danced across the Seine. He could see why she liked it so much.

“Hotch-“

“Emily-“ They both laughed, and it came unbearably easily, as if they had never been apart.

“You go first.”

“I need to tell you something. I need to tell you why I came across the world to find you.” He turned around so that his back was facing her. He didn’t think he could do this if he had to look into her eyes. “Emily Prentiss, I love you. And I didn’t realize it until you were gone. Which, I’ll admit, was stupid of me. It was stupid of me to ever let you go.

“Yeah, it really was.”

“Hey, can you-? Thanks. Anyway, like I was saying before I was so very rudely interrupted, I found you, and I’ll find you ten more times if I have to because this is a few times in a lifetime type of love. And not being with you makes me feel sick. And I came across the world to fine you.”

“You said that.”

“Well, I’m running out of things to say, so can you just kiss me and shut me up please?” Emily put a hand on his shoulder and leaned over his shoulder. He had to crane his neck, but she kissed him.

“I love you, Aaron Hotchner,” she said between kisses.

“Oh, thank god.” He looked down at her positively drenched clothes. “You’re going to catch a cold.”

“So are you. Give me your bag, I’ll toss the stuff in the dryer, and you can hop in the shower.” Hotch stammered incoherently. “Please. I’m not proposing anything indecent. But you’ve been chasing me for almost four days. You need a shower.” Hotch shook his head, spraying water everywhere.

“In a minute. First, promise me you’ll have all your stuff unpacked by Christmas. You deserve Christmas.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Second... promise me you’ll let me stay for Christmas. So you’re not alone.” Emily’s bro’s furrowed.

“What about Jack and the others?”

“Hayley’s family would love to have Jack for Christmas, and he’ll survive without me for a few days.” Emily bit her lip.

“Or... what if I came home with you? What if I came back to DC and spent Christmas with you and Jack and the guys?” Hotch felt his eyes start to water again.

“You would do that? I thought you wanted to escape DC.”

“I do. Kind of. I wanted to escape because I thought there wasn’t anything for me there. But that was dumb. I have you. I have our friends. So I don’t know that I’ll be back right away, but I’ll come back for Christmas.”

Hotch threw his arms around Emily in an uncharacteristic burst of excitement. Then again, he couldn’t help it.

“Hey, Hotch?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you. I never thought I’d have anyone who would cross the world to find me.”

“As long as you keep running, I’ll keep chasing.”

[justholdinghandsok]

Gillian's interview :)

submission by @melissascullysmessybun . Thank you so so much for translating this interview for us!

The truth is out there

I had no idea British rule in India lasted for over 300 years, and for that period of time lives of millions people were in the hand of very few people.

Berlin – I today’s world, there is something that’s been called The Scully effect. The Scully effect is a phenomenon initiated by worldwide famous fictional character Dana Scully, who inspired many young women to pursue careers in science, medicine and the law enforcement and as a result brought a perceptible increase in the number of women in those fields. Dana Scully is a character from worldwide popular TV series, The X files, and the person who brought Scully to life is a tiny (petite) woman, actress Gillian Anderson.

Scully forever changed the life and career of this actress, born (1968) and raised in Chicago (IL), who later moved to UK, where she still lives. Single mother of a three children (from two husbands), she writes, starers in theater, movies and TV series and she is actively engage in charitable and humanitarian work, especially within Neurofibromatosis network (from which her brother Aaron died) and the organization for sustainability education in South Africa.

But even after all those roles Anderson played in years after the show ended, it seems like she can’t escape the ghost of Scully. That fact was also visible at the premiere of her latest movie, The Viceroy’s House, directed by British director of Indian origin Gurinder Chadha, in which Anderson very convincingly embodied the character of Edwina Cynthia Annette Mountbatten, Countess Mountbatten ofBurma, socialist and advocate for labor rights. Edwina was a wife of Louis Mountbatten, king’s relative and the last Viceroy in India, who represented the Crown when India declared independence in 1947, which divided the territory into two countries, India and Pakistan, while the violence that followed the political moves killed over 200 000 people.

Exclusively for Politica, Gillian Anderson talks about the challenges of portraying the historical character, price of being popular, Brexit and the sudden discomfort it brought to her and her family…

Press: What was it like to connect to the historical character from today’s perspective?

Gillian: It was very easy, she was very likeableperson. I was surprised how much respect I’ve grown to have for her, after I’ve read her biography, the details from her early life, her activism and how much she was involved in war, and the events that led to The Partition of India. It’s always a good thing when you fall in love with the character. It helps you to be convincing and to do your job as best as you can. Forest Whitaker did the same, when he played Idi Amin (Gillian was his partner in the movie (she was not, lady didn’t do her homework)), and Forest believed that Amin’s motivation was justice, ha, ha.

P: How much did you know about historical events that led to The Partition of India before you took the role?

G: Not much, really. Most of the things were a lessions for me. I don’t think I even knew British rule in India lasted for over 300 years, and for that period of time lives of millions people were in the hand of very few people. It wasn’t a part of my education, it wasn’t something we’ve learn at school. But all of those new information, the fact that the small amount of people had power over millions of people. It had a very big impact on me.

P: What was the greatest challenge in Edwina’s character?

G: From technical point, probably her accent. She had a very posh accent and it took a lot of time for me to learn how to move and shape my lips so I could spontaneously speak the way she did. After the premiere, mother of one of our producers congratulate me and said: Great concentration! And basically that’s what it was: a lot of concentration so you don’t make a mistake.

P: You’ve managed to achieve the physically resemblance as well?

G: That was a challenge of a different kind. She had a sort of dislocated hips, so her entire body was somehow pushed forward. That forced her back to bend and her shoulders were stiff. It was very important for me figure out the way she moved, the way she walked. Edwina was a very active woman, the hostess of this huge palace, with a lot of stairs. Plus, she was taller than me, I’ve noticed that while I was watching archival footage. It was very exciting trying to overcome that, and to make the physical

appearance credible. Long after the shooting was over, I would caught myself walking like her, with my hips forward and my back shrugged. It took awhile to get things back to normal.

P: Edwina did a lot trying to find the way to prevent the conflict between the Muslim and Hindu populations?

G: She did, yes. She was restless, she was always on the field, in the conflict zones, trying to make people realize the need of peaceful cohabitation, the value of compromise. She was strongly against discrimination of any kind. She really did a lot. She was in contact with Nehru, Gandhi, the Muslim leader Muhammad Ali Jinnah, she often advised her husband…

P: Some sources say that she and Nehru had an affair, but the movie is not exploring that.

G: Yeah, I’ve read about that, but I really can’t say I’m sure it’s true. A lot of people in Britain didn’t appreciate her closeness to people from India, and, even more, they were against all the changes she made when she stepped in Viceroy’s palace. So maybe that’s where the story about their affair originated from.

P: She was very influential, the real proof of that behind every successful man stands a woman?

G: Yeah, but there is also a saying that the wives of powerful and genius men often go crazy. In real life it might be true, but not necessarily. There are examples of very influential and powerful first ladies, wives of US presidents.

P: As an American living in the UK, do you understand the fascination with the Royal Family? Or do you share it?

G: Hm, I do have a lot of respect for the challenges of neutrality, which is also part of the monarchy. And there is also a question of having strong leader as a head of the country and what happens when you don’t. So when you watch everything that’s been going on in the UK, with Brexit and everything, the existence of the crown became a basis of security and mental health.

P: Where you personally affected by Brexit?

G: The irony is: my daughter has a German passport, her father is German. She lives u UK, she goes to school there, so now the Brexit raised a questions like what does it all (the facts that she has a German passport but lived long in UK and is active student there) mean and will happen to her. It affects her, and we are all concerned. The final result of Brexit is yet to be seen, but what is certain is the this sudden insecurity at my home, in my family, which also brought a dose of worry.

P: It seems like you haven’t had much rest in past three years: you did movies, TV series, wrote a book, and you are very active in charity events.

G: Yeah, I don’t really have time just to sit and do nothing. Sometimes I think about slowing down a bit, and try to create a space for myself, so that I could be on still. But new challenges always emerge and than new choices have to be made.

P: What is your priority then: acting or activism?

G: My children are always my number one priority. Everything else shifts: sometimes it’s acting, sometimes writing and sometimes charity and activism.

P: And when do you write: during the day, or at night? Do you need a quite place for writing?

G: I definitely need a quiet room. But sometimes, there are long breaks on the set, so I use them to write in my trailer. And sometimes, I write on a airplane, because I spend a lot of time flying.

P: What was the most memorable moment from Berlinale, if there was one?

G: O yeah, it was! Freezing on the red carpet in that thin sleeveless dress!

*The questions on the side, in that almost purple box

Dana Scully is everywhere she looks

P: No matter what you did and still doing, people till identify you as Dana Scully. Is that bothering you?

G: It is how it is, no matter if that bothers me or not. I’m used to it.

P: So it isn’t annoying?

G: Oh please, don’t ask! It was so annoying, especially in that first period after the end of The X files. It took a long time and a lot of work to separate myself from her. It was very frustrating, because it was reflecting on the work, or the lack of it, because there wasn’t a lot of people who would want Dana Scully in their movies. Fortunately, I have manage to prove that I do have the acting talent. At one point I’ve stopped being angry at her existence and I’ve pushed her far enough so that now I can still play her role, without any stress and pain.

P: Many actors would be happy to have their television roles become phenomena and have such a powerful effect?

G: It’s true, but it may be true for Judy Dench or and any other actor in the UK, where, no matter how popular television role is, you will not have the problem working in the theater or on film, after the television series is done. In States is different, TV roles have been considered second-rate at the time. Now, the things have changed and all the most important television series are hiring the first-rate actors. And even here, on Berlin film festival, you can see that change: now there is a whole program dedicated to the premieres of the television series.

P: Are the people surprised when they see you on the street?

G: I’m the one who is constantly surprised, hhahah. There are days no one recognizes me: I walk the streets, go to the store, buy what I need. And there are days when every other person comes up to me. I don’t know what it is, is it the make up, the clothes, my hair, I have no idea. It’s like I am a Gillian Anderson on some days, and Dana Scully or any other character on other days.

THE END

Sorry it took so long, it was a loooooong day at the office. I’m sorry for all the mistakes, and if our grammar sucks, we did our best, and at least it’s better then the google translate shit. :)