#her song 'birthday' was the inspo for Fool Me Once | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

soundofseventeen · 5 years ago

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How Would You Feel (Chwe Hansol)

It’s still technically your birthday, so I’m not late!!!!!! Happy birthday, @dvoz-writes!!! Never forget how much we love you!!!! And this also works (a little) for our 2/18 birthday boys!!!!

Word count: 3000

Inspo: How Would You Feel

The first time Hansol almost said he loved you, he had bumped into you on a busy Saturday night. He remembered walking backwards as he admired the bright lights illuminating one of the movie theaters and straight into you, which made you lose the perfect shot of the town clock striking midnight. He turned around the moment he made contact with you and in a split second, his vocabulary flew out the window and something jolted inside his brain. It processed “Sorry,” in English but it crossed with his Korean, and the “Sar-” was already ready to fly out his mouth and he caught it, finally stumbling out his apology.

Luckily for him, you didn’t notice the slip up, but you were trying not to fall captive to his brown eyes and the lights making them sparkle didn’t really help your case. Instead, you assured him that accidents happened and when you saw his shirt and recognized the group. You asked him a question, followed by another, and then ten minutes later, he invited you to a small coffee shop to further discuss the group.

“Yeah, I’ve seen them a lot of times,” he admitted shyly, sipping on his hot chocolate, “they’re really good live and it’s always worth the money. How about you?”

“I try to go to as many shows as possible. They’re my favorite outside of kpop.” You stirred your own coffee pensively, unsure whether to tell this stranger your deepest regret. Well, he wasn’t a stranger; you would’ve been a fool not to recognize Hansol Vernon Chwe, but he was still someone you didn’t know. “One of their shows I missed, this most recent one I couldn’t afford to go because work hates me and I need the money, but they said it was their best one yet.”

“Oh yeah, I went to that one. They added a song that wasn’t normally on the set, and I recorded it.” He pulled out his phone and began scrolling through it as if his life depended on it. “There it is.” He debated whether to show you. He was aware you knew him, but he appreciated the way you treated him like a normal person. He hadn’t felt this way around anyone in awhile, so he handed it to you.

“No way,” you gasped when you pressed play. “This is my favorite song. I mean, I saw it on YouTube and everything but-” you didn’t finish your sentence, you hand covering your mouth in awe and shock. You could feel the tears coming but you wouldn’t cry. Not tonight in front of an idol.

Hansol cocked his head, processing all your emotions, feeling the smile coming on and he didn’t fight it. His heart did a thing, and for a moment, he regretted not telling you he loved you, but then he remembered he didn’t know you or your name, and he wanted to know you. The moment the song finished and he locked eyes with you, he knew he had fallen in love with you.

The second time he almost told you he loved you, it was after he invited you to come with him to see his family. Sofia had a thing to do and after countless hours of begging him that he needed to see this, he relented and you crossed his mind, and he said he’d go on the condition that he could bring a friend and she agreed. So he called you, and he left you a voicemail when you didn’t pick up, when he forgot that you worked that day. You called him a couple hours later on your break (leaving your own voicemail because he had idol duties to attend to) and let him know that you cleared a few days off the ones in question.

The look on Sofia’s face when she had opened the door and saw you instead of one of the members was amusing, to say the least, but she warmed up to you really quickly. She still had a few hours until she had to go to a school graduation, one that had asked her to sing the Korean national anthem so she was doing everything she could to keep her nerves under control. You were currently on the floor, playing a board game and they were both yelling at you and accusing you of cheating. Even through everyone's fit of giggles, Sofia couldn’t miss the way your competitive streak came out and how Hansol just egged your annoyance on. A few rounds later, you called it quits by throwing your cards on the board, mostly because it was time for the little sister to start getting ready and because when it was siblings against the one person, they usually won. You reached over and mussed Sofia’s hair and she jumped up quickly, claiming she needed to shower before everyone was late. You helped Vernon pick up the game, joining in his sing-along and him telling you about how he grew up and pointing to the various juice stains on the ceiling and showing you all his favorite books.

Sofia found you both in the kitchen about 20 minutes later, huddled over bowls of cereal and arguing over which was the best one and she announced it was time to go.

Although you only stayed at the graduation for a few minutes, everyone treated Sofia as if she had performed a full concert and everyone was now celebrating it, not that there were any complaints. Everyone was having a good time; the parents were drinking and he saw you and Sofia squeezing your eyes shut from the pain that brain freeze brought. He looked at the milkshake cups, his sister having drunk more than you did and he decided to help you out by eating as much as he could before his own brain freeze followed. He placed his palms on his temples, exhaling deeply, his breath cold and he still laughed along with you.

Later that night, once everyone was sound asleep, he snuck to the kitchen to get a glass of water and stopped at seeing you still up. He watched the way you turned the page intently and how you struggled to keep the flashlight on your phone steady. He smiled, the thirst no longer a problem to him and instead thumped the couch cushion to get your attention.

You jumped, the light blinding you momentarily as you heard Hansol laughing. “I’m gonna kill you,” you whispered.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“Sofia gave me this book and I wanna finish it before we go home.”

He liked the way you said we; it seemed like you were on the same team. Home too. It was like he pictured his future with you looking at him the way you were if he ever accidentally dropped your favorite mug on a night like this. Again, the “Sa-” was on the tip of his tongue but he didn’t know how you’d react, so he had to switch tactics asap. “Sofia has good taste. She’s the reason I grew to like books. Even if we have to stay a little longer, we will. Or I can just buy you a copy...but we have to have joint custody.”

“Sounds like a deal, Chwe.”

The third time he almost said it, you had managed to pull off a surprise birthday party for not one but two boys....with the help of the ‘95 line helping you decorate the place, the ‘96 line going out and buying the ingredients you needed to make the birthday boys a cake for each of them; Mingyu and Minghao taking Seokmin to go to a carnival in the next town, and Seungkwan and Chan taking Hansol to a record store and buying some stuff. Hansol had wanted to spend the day with you but he had been under the impression that you had to work that day and that his respective brothers had some recording to attend to.

(It wasn’t easy to pull it off, considering Hansol kept bugging Seungcheol every few minutes, asking when the maknae line was due to arrive to the studio and Minghao asking Jeonghan how else to distract Seokmin. Your efforts were almost blown when the front door slammed open and you dropped the frosting, and you couldn’t help but beat Chan (he was alone) with the dishrag you used to pick up the mess.

“When you marry Vernon hyung, you still better be spoiling him like this because it’d be false advertising as my future in-law,” he said eyeing the sink and pulling out a dirty spoon you used to make the frosting. He didn’t think twice as he licked the chocolate.

“I have no intentions of marrying Vernon.”

“Your loss,” he shrugged and turned to the oldest boy. “Hyung, are you almost done here? I’m tired of hearing Kwannie hyung sing all the songs on his phone.”

“Almost. Just be patient.” And with that, Chan left satisfied, and Seungcheol looked at you trying to focus on the last of Seokmin’s cake. “So is it okay if I ask you what’s going on with you and Nonie? Or is that too personal?”

You shook your head. “Nothing’s going on. We’re just friends.” The blush on your cheeks and your trembling hands didn’t exactly help your case but Cheol was kind enough to drop the subject.)

You weren't exactly sure how you managed to balance Vernon’s chocolate cake and Seokmin’s red velvet one but you did, even singing the birthday song when the boys in question processed what you were doing some few hours later when they walked in the front door. Once they made their wish and blew out the candles, Seokmin gleefully grabbed his cake and skipped to the table, sticking his finger into the frosting and licking it clean. He paraded across the room, showing it off to everyone and gloating that he had the bestest friend in the whole world. Hansol, merely took the cake with one hand and gave you a side hug as tightly as he could manage before Soonyoung intervened and grabbed the dessert so he could hug you with both.

“Happy birthday Hansol,” you whispered. “I hope this was okay.”

“Wait, this was you?”

“Well, I had help. I couldn’t have done this without your group mates.” You pulled away with a gasp. “Oh crap! I forgot your gift! I’m so sorry!”

“Why would you get me a gift after doing all this?”

“Because it’s your birthday.”

“Did you get something for DK?”

The horrified look on your face told him everything he needed to know and he marched right up to his birthday twin who had somehow been able to find somewhere to sit and was currently stuffing his face with Junhui and you couldn’t tell who looked more like a chipmunk and you hoped someone would get a picture of these two looking like that because your heart multiplied.

“Hey hyung?”

“Mmm?” He looked up at you, face full of frosting and he swallowed loudly. He scrambled for a napkin and wiped at the spots frantically. “Yeah?”

“So would you be bummed if we didn’t get gifts from our friend here?”

“The surprise party wasn’t a gift?” You had yet to get used to Seokmin’s naïtivty and his knack for being easily surprised.

Hansol shook his head. “Never mind. Enjoy your cake hyungdeul.” He turned back to you. “See? You don’t need to give us more than this.”

“So you like it?”

“I love y-” He froze the moment the words almost slipped out and just started coughing to thwart his speech, and didn’t speak again until you had given him some water. “Sorry...I meant to say that I love it. Thank you Y/N. I have the greatest friend in the world.”

Various offended “heys” sounded throughout and he reiterated slightly. “Besides you guys.”

The fourth time he almost told you he loved you, you were in his car in your front yard after coming back from your first date together. You kept leaning over to the driver’s side and stealing kisses from him and all he could do was relish in them and kiss you back.

“So has anyone ever made you this happy?” you asked him.

He shook his head. “I can’t remember the last time I was like this.” He welcomed the warm feeling of your hand caressing his cheek gently. “Have you ever had this much fun?”

“Once,” you admitted. “I went to visit some friends and somehow we all stayed up past our normal bedtime just looking at the sky and feeling at peace. It wasn’t a big thing or anything, but it was just us, all the stars and all the wishes we made. A lot of them have come true since then.” You looked over at him, not saying more. “What’s the dumbest thing you ever wished for?”

He covered your hand with his before bringing it to his lips to kiss them repeatedly. “It wasn’t dumb but I remember putting it on my Christmas list every year. I just wanted to go back to New York. At least there, no one gave a shit if you were black, white, mixed, missing an eye or tooth or whatever.” He brought you close to him to kiss you again. “Why did you agree to go on a date with me?”

“I figured it was about time to be real with my feelings and you.” You smiled at him. “I’d been wanting to tell you for awhile, but you beat me to it.”

He nodded slowly, liking the answer. He leaned in for another kiss, but his phone ringing disturbed the moment, and just for that he ignored it. “I should get going. Can I walk you inside?”

When you nodded, he quickly removed his seatbelt and ran to the passenger side to open the door for you. As soon as you were out, he wrapped his arms around you, back hugging you and kissing your cheek. He finally felt like a rebellious teenager to be doing this with you. It was a little past curfew, you had to be up early and so did he, but he didn’t want this moment to end. He was even more in love with you than ever before.

“Hansol, you have to go,” you whined after you realized he didn’t plan on moving from that spot.

“A few more minutes,” he sighed. “I don’t wanna let you go just yet.”

“Either you do now, or Seungcheol will pry you away from me if you're not home in the next ten minutes.”

“I’m not scared of that grandpa.”

“You hear that Cheol?”

And with that, his head snapped up, looking in all directions for the leader, already looking for words to excuse his actions. “You liar.”

“I thought you weren’t scared.”

“I’m not,” he pouted, but then he sighed. “Do we really have to say goodbye?”

“I don’t want you to go either.” You reached for his hand so he could finally walk you to your front door. “Hansol, thank you for tonight.”

“Anytime. Thank you for agreeing. I’ll call you soon, okay?”

You nodded. “Okay.”

He waited for you to unlock the door so you could go in and just as you were about to close the door, he called you.

“Yeah?”

“Sa-” The saranghae didn’t go past his throat; neither could the I love you, so he cleared his throat and tried again. “Sleep well.”

The fifth time he almost told you he loved you, he had convinced you to sit on the roof with him at his house. You had long ago admitted to him that you had never seen a sunrise, so he vowed that the next time neither of you had plans, he was gonna invite you to Seventeen’s dorm to make you watch it. Two months later, it happened, and he spent the day making sure he had everything to spend the night up on the roof with you, and despite the chilly air, it was worth it.

You sat in between his legs and he had his arms wrapped around you, often tightening around you every time he felt overcome with emotion. He would take your hand and trace a pattern in the sky with your finger and then tell you the name of the constellation. You offered him your earbuds sometime during the night, and you took turns listening to your favorite songs, singing along to all the words.

Every time you could feel yourself nodding off, Hansol would gently shake you awake and offer you something to snack on so you could stay awake. “We’re almost there Jagi,” his hoarse voice would encourage you. “Just a little longer.” And then he would kiss your cheek and cuddle you a little more.

You were both blissfully unaware of the 12 other boys spying on you and seeing what you were currently doing. More often than not, someone had to stop Soonyoung from barging in and interrupting, but they quietly left out extra blankets and water bottles and other snacks by the window so neither of you would have to move much.

Finally, the first few rays of sunlight came peeking through over the horizon. It wasn’t much at first, but then suddenly, the whole world seemed to wake up along with it. You could hear the birds chirping and the insects buzzing, and everything warming up.

“What do you think?”

You nodded, finally closing your eyes and resting against his chest. “It’s beautiful,” you managed to mumble sleepily. Can we do this again?”

“As many times as you want,” he promised.

“Okay, good.”

He waited a little longer in case you had more to add, but the only thing he could feel was you breathing in and out deeply and evenly, finally fast asleep. “Hey Jagi, how would you feel if I told you I loved you?”

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