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holy-mountaineering · 4 years

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Here’s the full Qabalistic Tree of Life Spread that I do and here you are. What I’m going to do is go through and briefly explain each card, its position on the Tree, and then I’ll give you a summary/synopsis of the spread as a whole. You know the routine.

Think of this spread as a sort of quantum map, or even the land of a regular map, everything is happening at once, in each place. It’s important to think of yourself as moving “through” the map but you are also simultaneously everywhere at once. For the sake of this specific experiment, think of this as a map. Maybe as a person, the Qabalistic Adam Kadmon.

Where we’re starting the journey from is Kether, the monad, the first sign of creation. We’ll call this your hometown, since it is where you’re from originally. Here we have the 9 of Cups, Happiness.

I call this ‘mutually beneficial relationships’ or expanding influence (Jupiter) going or being pulled both ways (Pisces). Each cup has its own source but everything is flowing into each other down to the base of the 3x3 structure. There is a lot of water and all it represents and it hasn’t reached its peak yet and is still driving upward and outward.

Cultivate relationships and connective feelings that aren’t lopsided or just giving/taking. Keep building, you’re not done yet.

In Chokmah, which is like your freeway getting you out onto the road out of your hometown is the 3 of Wands, Virtue.

This is not a moralistic idea of Virtue, this is the idea of formulating a basic mode of action to build from. Virtue unto yourself and your Will, as in doing what you do because it’s what you do. Astrologically, this is Sol in Aries or springtime. This is the energy of the Sun close to Earth creating new growth from the stagnate winter. You can also read a message of centering on new growth in your life.

Create a basic plan like a farmer might for spring. You’re no sharecropper, this is your land so plant the fields only according to your Will.

In Binah, which is ruled by Saturn and for the sake of this reading we will call the first stop on your roadtrip. You haven’t really arrived anywhere but you’re stopping and getting a chance to repack your car in a more efficient way. Sitting in Binah is the 2 of Disks, Change.

This is the old saying, “The only constant is change.” This is finding stability in the aforementioned changing. In other words, when stuff gets different, strap in and hold on, steady yourself, and get ready to go into the unknown. Look a bit before you leap but understand that position is king, not appearances. You’re building toward the unknown and pretending to know is not the kind of posturing you should bother with. Not looking for the result of the change, being in the motion, and enjoying, embracing the motion toward the unknown is where you should position yourself.

Disks are Earth, matter, the material world, your everyday life and 2s are the suit trying to formulate into something from the rawness of the Aces or the beginning of the idea of Earth. Astrologically, the influential and expanding Jupiter is in the highs and lows of the Goat-Fish Capricorn, think rollercoaster, possibly one that goes underwater. And like rollercoasters, they’re scary but probably not going to be the cause of your death. Unless they go underwater, that sounds dangerous. This is a great time to be aware that you’re moving around and kind of always will be. Enjoy the twists and turns of the ride and don’t stress yourself about how and when it will end.

In Chesed which is ruled by Jupiter and again for the sake of this experiment we’ll say involves your influence and benevolence in your current trip is the 10 of Swords (mental and communicative) Ruin.

Astrologically, this is Sol the Sun or your center being split by the duality of Gemini or duplicity. This is like making a decision by not making one. Your intellect is collapsing in on itself due to building duality or otherness conflicting with how you think of you. This is being “of two minds” but they duo doesn’t seem to work together very well. The good news is that they’re damn near done working together at all. 10s are the highest number card or as intense as it gets.

Try to integrate your splitting and increasingly destructive thinking and/or communicating, make meaning out of this chaos. And hey, don’t worry, it’s peaked and now you have to slide down the mountain of crazy you just climbed.

Across the Tree in Geburah, which is Mars Town, where you find your drive and what you’re trying to accomplish/conquer is the 5 of Swords, (mental/communication) Defeat.

Like all 5s this is the microcosmic or human card, if you don’t believe me stand up and stick out your arms and legs, boom, you’re a pentagram. Swords are mind, thought processes, communication and the like, and this is mental growth limited by its mundane focus or dwelling on the limitations of yourself and other individuals.

Realize your limitations and the limitations of others. You are seriously just a human and so is everyone else. Try to focus your mind on bigger picture things instead of mundane/shitty people, ideas, thoughts, and ways of thinking.

In Tiphareth, the Sun and center of gravity holding all this in place, the heart pumping the blood through this, your heart is the Ace of Disks, the root power of Earth or the material.

This is the foundation which all your solid structures are and will be built on. This is the very root of your real world/material life situation. While this doesn’t mean you must tear everything down or that there is nothing in your material world that you've built, it does mean you must look at the source from which you've built your material and everyday world. If you have no foundation you can have no structure. If you have a shoddy foundation, you'll have a shoddy structure. Look to what things were like before you began building. Is there sand beneath you? Are you in a swamp, building castles of stone that will bind to the mud and be pulled down much sooner than later? Did you account for the raise in elevation when you laid your foundation? Look down to the base of what you've made and what you've made it upon.

This is an engineering job, you’ll need tools to measure and level everything out. The occult might not be the best place to find these tools and it is possible that you have issues much more base than you're willing to cop to. There are many tools you can use to look at your foundation provided in psychology and meditation from other sources. The Universe throws us extreme situations and more often than not, this is the only way people see their basest of instincts and behaviors really act out. If you can, take a look at what connects you and what you’re building to the Earth before an earthquake, tornado, volcano, or other act of G-D forces you to pray everything was fine. Check the strength of your foundations before the strength of your foundations are checked.

Get down to the base fundamentals of what is going on in your material (things, money, living situation, literal stuff) and build from the ground up if you must.

In Netzach, Venus town, where you have the realization about how this is going to change you as a person with a personality is the Queen of Cups, the watery part of Water, total emotion and intuition.

This Queen looks through her reflective eyes at the ripples on a pond at the reflection of the moon which reflects the Sun. She isn’t so much interested in looking directly at a thing as she is looking at the effects. The tides being ruled by the Moon was discovered by observation of the correlation of movements of both Lvna and the comings and going of the tides. Her animal is the Ibis, who on one leg intently stares at the surface of the water. This was perceived as meditation and contemplation by the wise people of Khemet and they attributed the ibis to Djehuti or Thoth the wisest of their pantheon. But like ibis you have to act when the fish swims by or you’ll starve.

Do not look directly at a problem or situation you feel strongly about. Look for effects and not the causation or the point of impact.

In Mercury Town Hod-ville, where all the Universities are and everyone has real intellectual shit going on is IV The Emperor, Tzaddi, Aries.

The Emperor is the activating consort of III The Empress. He is King of Spring, the sign of Aries being his energy. He has the energy of the Sun, who in spring gets closer to the Earth and revitalizes the plant growth. The Emperor is formulated, active energy that causes force and growth.

This is new growth brought about like the spring that Aries heralds. Like the season of Spring, this card is activating the potential growth of the Earth, that is to say, the time is right to spring forth and grow as you can, with what you have.

Get formulated and active. Put things in their place or notice the NATURAL orbits of things. What works is that which grows from your energy.

On the Moon in Yesod, the receptive and reflective place that is alot about the feelings that you’re picking up from all this is the Princess of Cups, the earthy part of Water.

We could consider this the substance in water or water hitting substance head on. This is the idea of the canyon wall being ground down over the millennia by moving water. The nutrients and minerals in the earth are transported down river to the fertile delta. This is the natural, “following your feelings” within your daily life. Try not to fool yourself, follow your intuition, not just passing whims. Feel, don’t necessarily react immediately.

Go with what you feel and intuit, let yourself go with the flow, if you will. Allow your situation to move with your emotions and be patient with your progress.

Down here in Malkuth-istan, the everyday life mundane, waking up pooping, and going to work world is XVIII The Moon, Pieces, Qoph.

This is the ‘Sun at midnight where you stand shines on the other side of the world’. The pull of night and day eventually rising, illuminating what was once dark. As opposed to the old Aeon idea of the Sun dying, this is the cyclic motion of the push and pull of the day and night. The dark gives the light context and vis-a-versa.

See the light in the dark, accept the cyclic push and pull, if you don’t like what “time of day it is” in your life I assure you it will change like the tides.

So, we’re starting from a place of having the emotional resources to set things up in a healthy and beneficial way. A way that creates a path to enacting your Will and being aware of and in the flow of the real world Change you are a piece of.

That’s all fine and dandy for being in your personal world, however you’re going to find that expanding outward from there will be met with the fiercest of resistance, namely that of your own mind. When you begin to build your world outside yourself, you will find that people, even yourself, may have limitations in understand your goals and your way of Working, do not focus on the limitations, focus on the Work. Then and only then will you be able to start from the foundation you wish to lay out and truly build from and on top of!

Your personal growth or how you view that will not be a straight line. If you look at your growth as a linear process, you’ll miss all of the subtleties that are really building your world. And again, even outside of yourself, this is only your world, only take possession of that, and activate or work within that world, let others build their own. And if you feel force pushing against your force, roll with it. Allow your river to flow in its natural direction, do not try to dam the river, or worse yet, redirect the natural flow to meet some preconceived notion from others on how it should wind and turn, that is only for you and nature to decide.

Speaking of flowing, this natural process of growth and movement is, as stated earlier, one of subtle force. The ebb and flow of tides can only be predicted once one understands the effects the Moon has on the material world, This is not direct, it is not a lit path made clear to all. This is a force that is directed from Other and is only showed to those who first understand the subtleties and reflection that is made clear through study and intuition. Remember the Queen of Cups, remember the dowsing rod that while we don’t understand how it works, it will lead you to water, if you allow it to.

Ta Da! Hit me up with any questions!

#tarot spreads #mirronx

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lilium-tenebris · 5 years

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So this is a long rant about Lillian’s morale code, the Crest of Lovicelle’s secondary functionality, and the nature of Grima in this weakened state and how it colors Lillian’s relationship with it. Under the cut cuz boy am I going to get going long on shit. Yeah, this is really long but it’s also really important so *shrug*.

So the first thing I need to make somewhat clear about Lillian is she is not objectively a morally good character, not even close. In her interactions she has been exceptionally kind and friendly (to the best of HER abilities) in most cases and that is genuine. But a nice person is not always a GOOD person in the morale scale of things. Lillian only obtained a concept of good and bad from the occasional children’s book and what not and so her grasping of it is very vague and her ability to understand the IMPORTANCE of that sort of thing is low.

She isn’t evil though, in a typical 9 alignment system she’s a type of neutral though that can vary which of the 3 from route to route. For example Crimson Flower being the only route she becomes OVERLY zelous about the cause itself she becomes Lawful Neutral with Edelgard as the ‘law’ so to speak. In the school phase and many others she’s chillin more at a True Neutral. With the exception of Crimson Flower, but this still applies in it, Lillian is Loyal to PEOPLE not ideals, concepts, a morale system, anything.

She has striven her whole life to be accepted, you would think being the object of worship of a cult would give that impression but it doesn’t in her case. During her time in the Grimist Cult she was ISOLATED, other than strange dehumanizing worshiping rituals she was denied seeing any of her caretakers for any length of time BECAUSE it would humanize her. They did not want a little girl they wanted a god.

Coming to the Church of Seiros was NOT much better for her, and though it’s objectively a step up because of the way it made her feel she views it as worse. Once her connection to Grima came to light and the nature of it’s energy being restrained by her she was simply dehumanized in a different way. She became basically treated like an artifact, a fragile urn with an evil spirit in it to be set on a shelf to keep the spirit at bay. Anyone with even an inkling of who she was or what was going on wound up treating her like the plague in order to avoid being the one to crack or shatter the ‘urn’ in this metaphor.

She was only able to spend time around certain people that way such as Professor Hanneman helping him with his research, yet, even there she felt as though that was because of her crest. She was welcome there only because she was an interesting research subject, once again, not a person, whether that reflects his true opinion isn’t known to me and I’ll handle that on a person by person basis RP wise, yet, in the end it’s how she comes to FEEL about it just the same.

Then this years students come in and she manages to connect with Gabriel ( @sol-chorus ) my other character. That helps, he helps, but, Gabriel has his own problems and struggles that make him biased against other students, the houses, and just the system there under based on his experiences with his own crest. Not to mention he is not AWARE of everything listed above as she has been ordered to keep that ‘burden’ to herself as it is ‘hers’ to carry. So he doesn’t realize when he talks down about her joining a houses when she mentions it he’s pushing her into this cycle of isolation he doesn’t know ANYTHING about it.

So that’s where she winds up by the time she is pulled into the 3h main story and conflict by SOMEONE from one of the houses reaching out a hand. In most cases (minus one AU) the students have no IDEA about who or what she is or where she came from and she’s treated as a classmate, a weird classmate, but she’s not the strangest one certainly. And the more the first half of the game goes on the harder Lillian latches onto her classmates, her house, the Professor etc. she is finally somewhere where she’s considered a person. However, warnings from the church sill put her back remind her ‘what’ she is and that juxtaposition of that still haunting her against her new friends and allies is maddening and it takes her minor bitterness towards the Church and inflates it to a silent boiling rage. To the point that she won’t go in the Chapel, like, if she was implemented int he game during no months of any free time, in the WHOLE game would you find her anywhere near the chapel.

In a route such as the Blue Lions, she at least comes to accept a church that is at least fully under Byleth’s leadership, but, she still has lingering resentment for Rhea (who survives) and the old church for what she was put through.

Of course all of that brings us around tot he source of this, Lillian was born a Grim Witch, she was born this Generations Vessel/Host of the weakened spirit o The Fell Dragon, that has been falling deeper and deeper into weakness over the Millennia between this and anything else I’ve written for this lore. It will be centuries before the dragon’s soul can gain enough energy to even try to exist outside of a host again. This puts LIllian in a different position than previous hosts, it does not wish to destroy her, or rather it could not do so even if it wished because that would leave it right where it started. Instead it pursues a more ‘symbiotic’ appearing relationship with her. Because she has been able to hear the voice since she was a small child even when she was ALONE she was connected to the dragon and could hear it frightening and overwhelming as it was. As the conflict breaks out in 3H the Fell Dragon seizes that and Lillian’s new found attachments as a weakness. It may not be able to regain it’s strength and be rid of her but it can use her to decrease the wait time on it rebuilding it’s strength in the long run.

The Crest of Lovicelle acts as a simple magic attack increasing Crest for mechanics but, it’s secondary feature is to act as a road a channel between the dragon and it’s host allowing the host to borrow some of it’s power. However, Grima being ultimately driven by a desire to break free in centuries hence and destroy the world as it is known will not do something like that for free. In order to use this functionality of the crest and activate it’s ‘Breath of Ruin’ factor. This taps into Grima’s base energy and essentially allows Lillian to disintegrate something, walls, people, anything lacking in the kind of divinity Grima possesses can be destroyed by the dragon’s raw ruin factor. However, in order to open IT’S end of the channel Grima requires one thing in return. For each time it’s power is to be borrowed through the crest this way, it wants a human soul. It does not matter who or from where any soul now is able to help the creature regenerate it’s power faster from it’s current weakened stasis. And the point of everything above is to say this: Lillian in some ways is not OPPOSED to using this power, sparingly.

If these people who have finally made Lillian feel like a human being, people who have accepted her are in enough danger she will cave to this offer of power time and again. If her back hits the wall and she can see no other way to protect her house/side she’ll pay the price, one enemies soul (or if desperate enough a simple stranger’s) ceasing to exist is worth the price of admission if that borrowed power will save those she’s come to love. The only thing that effects this use of it is how OFTEN she uses it, for example in Crimson Flower there is a very ‘ends justify the means’ attitude through that WHOLE route and I could see her using this not nearly constantly but maybe 5-8 times throughout the WHOLE five and a half year war (maybe once in the academy phase it depends). Where as in say an Azure Moon Route where that sort of thing may not be as ‘acceptable’ to her allies she may only use it once or twice.

This is more or less despite her reasons for it objectively evil as an action itself, someones soul CEASES to be, it is GONE, they are something worse than dead. She is WELL aware of this fact, don’t doubt that she is aware not only of this but, that each time she leans on the dragon like this, it becomes a little stronger and she damns some future generation a little bit more. She knows these things she understands them from an objective concept, she can write them on paper and explain them in words and yet-

She doesn’t FEEL them. At least not int he way most people would, she is not REMORSELESS not even close any time she uses this ability it shakes her and she may even isolate herself for a while to try and cope with the evil she commits. But she has a very ‘it had to be done I had no choice, i couldn’t let something HAPPEN to them’. Her allies are worth it, her friends are worth it, these people who would welcome her are worth any suffering, after all she was BORN a monster that is not going to change just because some people are kind enough not to see her that way.

That is what she believes that is what her ENTIRE rearing as a child has brought her to have resonate from her very core. Lillian is a very nice person, if you become friend or ally she would do anything for you to repay that kindness.

Emphasis on anything.

#❀ The Haze of Mind {Headcanons}#tw neglect #tw child abuse #tw cults

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classicdaisycalico · 7 years

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🔥 for the Sonic series as well ;)

Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion.

Hoo boy you just opened another entire can of worms here

So uhhh let’s get started shall we?

First of all, people need to stop bitching about whether or not the classic games are the best or the Adventure-era games or the modern games. All Sonic games have their ups and downs. To say that their greatness stopped after [insert Sonic game here] is really rude and puts down a lot of other people who genuinely like the series and all it has to offer.

With this in mind, I genuinely like Sonic ‘06…at least, in theory. If Sega hadn’t rushed it the way they did (and I feel awful about all the pressure that was put on them in order to put something out there), then I’m sure we would have had a genuinely excellent game and we definitely wouldn’t have as much of a divide in the fandom. Of course, I am not without my fair share of opinions on it, though.

Let’s just get right down to it, shall we? We didn’t need Elise and that awkward “romantic” subplot. It felt kinda…forced in some ways? Furthermore I don’t even think that the princess in the story should have been Elise. It should have been Blaze. She could still be the same character implemented in the exact same way and everything, but carrying all of Elise’s role in the story would have made SO much more sense. It would give her a larger reason to be a part of the storyline, too. Also…SOL Dimension? SOLeanna? SOL Emeralds? SOLaris? Sega missed out on a golden opportunity here. I think they should hire me for a remake of this game.

Speaking of Blaze, WHERE WAS SHE IN FORCES?! I know she’s gonna show up in IDW at some point, I think, but if the Phantom Ruby can mess with other dimensions, then Blaze popping up in the in-game story could have made sense. Also, where was Big in all this? Where was Cream? And her mom? And most importantly, where were all the Chao and the animal buddies? Sonic games aren’t the same without Chao :(

Now let’s change the subject here and get to the voice actors. I genuinely like this voice cast a lot. Roger’s voice still sits a little too deep for a 15 year old, I think, but he delivers the snark so well it’s grown on me.

I like that Cindy Robinson doesn’t sound too Minnie Mouse with her take on Amy, but I still like Liza Ortiz’s slightly better since her 12 year old voice is a little more believable.

Quinton Flynn makes a good Silver. His voice doesn’t bite as much as Pete Capella’s voice used to. Quinton sounds much…calmer? But he still manages to capture both the vulnerability in his voice and the strong sense of justice he maintains.

Kirk Thornton is doing an amazing job with Shadow. I know he had a little bit of trouble adjusting in earlier games but he has improved so much. I don’t like his take on Boom!Shadow, though. He didn’t have to make him sound so gruff.

Kathleen Delaney’s voice for Rouge was absolutely atrocious. Bringing Karen Strassman in was such an enormous relief. I like how she implement’s Rouge’s coy and witty nature, but Lani Minella still holds out as my #1 Rouge VA.

Speaking of Rouge, people need to understand that Rouge is not just your stereotypical “sexy female character”. Being flirty and confident is party of her personality, yes, but it’s both of those things that contribute to what is undoubtedly the biggest part of her character: her wits. Rouge can use what her mama gave to manipulate any enemy ever and later physically kick their ass in a matter of seconds. That’s pretty badass, in my book.

Speaking of female characters, Amy is more than her crush on Sonic, and the writers need to figure this out. Amy is a dedicated girl who throws her heart and soul into all that she does, and if she’s ever fighting alongside her friends, she’ll fight to the death for everyone there that she loves. Yeah, she just so happens to be more vocal and physically aggressive than most, particularly when it comes to Sonic, but she is only 12, after all. And even then, her crush has been significantly toned down, which I appreciate, since it means the writers are finally getting it.

Speaking of the writers, I notice that a lot of people complain about Pontac and Graff’s way about writing storylines for a lot of the games recently. And yes, that is true; while I do like the way they write humor, the things I don’t like are the plotholes that seem to stay empty at times, and some minor characterization things. While they do get the big picture about certain characters’ thoughts and actions, it’s the small stuff they seem to overlook, and missing all the small things can add up and make the characters overall attitude in a game seem off.

Speaking of characterization, I’m still bitter about the way they handled Infinite’s backstory. SO MUCH MORE could have been done with him, and yet his motivation for becoming what he became was chalked all up to simply being bored with the current state of the world. I’m not bitter lol

Lastly, let’s get to ships. There are a few that I’m not completely on board with, and shipping Knuckles with Rouge basically tops the list. I always feel like I’m one of the only people on this hellsite that doesn’t ship the two together (anyone who knows me knows that Shadouge is my OTP for the Sonic series). I just feel like there’s a stronger bond and overall sense of closeness that Shadow and Rouge has that Knuckles and Rouge doesn’t. Most of the time, their interactions are generally negative and sometimes even played up for comic relief. I don’t see those kinds of interactions culminating into a relationship, I just don’t.

I’m not on board with Sonaze, either. Sorry guys! I feel like Blaze wouldn’t want to ruin one of her first real friendships with someone who she used to hate. Friendship has become something really special to Blaze, and trying to move beyond it, especially with someone who is not on board with romantic relationships most of the time, would probably not be the best move to make, anyway. I think it’s for the best if she left her friendship as it was.

Shadamy is a little unsettling. Shadow saw a comparison in Amy to Maria in Sonic Adventure 2, right? So at best, I think he sees her as something akin to a little sister figure, just like how Shadow saw with Maria. Also, I haven’t seen much interaction between the two of them since then (with a few minor exceptions, of course). So…how would that make any sense? (It’s through this reasoning that I can’t ship Shadow with Maria, either. Aside from the fact that she’s a literal human. Who is also currently dead.)

With all the times Sonic and Shadow have faced off against each other, I don’t see Sonadow happening. While they do harbor a mutual respect for one other, their personalities clash immensely, and pointing out their shit to each other every time that happens can turn ugly very quickly. The fact that it’s been going on for so long only justifies that reasoning further. (Sorry, guys!)

Phew. Okay. I’m done. Hopefully I don’t get crucified or burned at the stake or anything for this. (Especially that last bit. I swear I’m not homophobic, at least…I try not to be. Anyone who follows me would know that I try to educate myself on any LGBT+ issues as much as I can.)

Uhhh so that’s that. Hope you enjoy reading through all of this!

#ask me things #perla-speedofsound-adventuring #sonic

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ttransthirteen · 7 years

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okay here we go! for sol: 8, 35, 19; for hernandez: 45, 5, 13; for jericho: 3,17, 24; for nikola: 40, 43, 50; for nix, 9, 22, 29, for scott: 3, 36, 27; for hero: 34, 18, 6; for lynx: 10, 26, 44!! sorry if that's too many!!

anon i have no idea how you know all these characters enough to send me specific ones for their names, but i want you to know this is the best thing that has happened to me in weeks and you are the absolute light of my life. if you believe in a higher power i wish you blessings and happiness for years to come.

here we go!! (also this is so long im sorry, I tried to sort them if anybody is actually curious about any of them)

Sol-

8. did they have pets as a child? as an adult? do they like animals?

Dani Solis, or just Sol to her coworkers, is a mechanic who never quite understood living things. she grew up in outer space and never really had the opportunity to have a pet, although the constant traveling meant she got to see a ridiculous variety of life. When she was a little girl, she would sometimes find a cockroach or other bug on the ship and catch it, keeping it and feeding it until it died. it was never a very satisfying experience, probably adding to her obsession with immortal machines.

35. whats their guilty pleasure? what is their totally unguilty pleasure?

I’d call Eric her guilty pleasure. they would have ended up together if I hadn’t killed him off mid-breakdown. Most people live on a planet, but she doesn’t have one, so to her any sort of truly meaningful human connection is dangerous and off-limits. but she loves him deeply, although it scares her. Unguilty, I’d say shes kind of a hoarder. her bunk is full of knick-knacks from every corner of the explored universe. she spends pretty much her entire salary on it tbh

19. whats their least favorite genres?

if this is about literature, she thinks fantasy is stupid. if it’s music, she loves rap and techno but has never really been able to tolerate slow guitar pieces about how beautiful planet life is. think space-age country.

Hernandez-

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves?

this is a big one for him. Captain Eric Hernandez is a trans man, so for a lot of his life yeah there was a massive difference. but after he transitioned, I would say the main difference would be that the people around him see him as cold, kind of scary. he’s not scary, he’s scared. he sees himself as small and weak, even after he straight up murdered his abuser and took his place as captain. His friends would say he is the strongest, bravest man they’ve ever known. They would be right.

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

He has two sisters and two brothers, I don’t know any of their names. He was very close with all of them and misses them every day. Since he ran away to avoid having to pretend to be a woman his whole life, and then murdered a guy, contacting any of them would have been massively dangerous. He couldn’t even tell any of them he was leaving because he wasn’t out to them. In the version of his story where he’s executed, they all get letters from Sol explaining everything. In the version where he lives, he sends the letters himself.

13. What is their least favorite food?

fish was never available to him as a kid, and he never acquired the taste.

Jericho-

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory?

this isnt something i get to say about my ocs a lot, but he did. he had a lovely childhood. he grew up with a loving father in a huge, beautiful city where he was free to explore and learn to his hearts content. he has especially fond memories of wandering around the actual ground of the city where basically nobody ever goes, looking at bugs and mold and plants with his little junior scientist magnifying glass, looking them up on his computer-band. the worst ones were probably nights where his dad had to work and he was lonely in their apartment, bc those were the nights he wondered about his mom.

17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?

He’ll take photographs of cool specimen, but mostly he carries a journal and prefers to take notes. he takes notes on absolutely everything and has boxes and boxes of old notebooks in his closet at home.

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

my boy jericho has very little trouble sleeping and is fine with the govt issues firm mattress. he is quiet and still and sleeps deeply.

Ok! switching universes! these characters are completely disconnected from those three.

Nikola Tchaikova-

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

I’m not sure she’s ever even tried it. Nikola is a full blown alcoholic and anything that makes her feel more alert is probably not something she’s gonna enjoy. Her natural senses and awareness are absolutely through the roof, so it’s not something she really needs at all. She does like sweets though. Back when she had her family, her and her close companions use to sneak away sometimes and go out to the city for milkshakes and music, and those are probably her fondest memories.

43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

When she was a very young girl she might have worshipped the christian/jewish/muslim god, or at least attempted to. For a young shifter where she grew up, life was rough, and she would have had a hard time finding the meaning in it all. but later in life, after the war, the major religion worshipped shifters and obviously that was ridiculous to her, so she kind of looks down on the whole thing. She might still be a little envious of the purpose and comfort that the worshippers get and that is missing so much from her life, but one of the main gods in their pantheon is based on her kid brother’s best friend. its hard to take that seriously. (the idea is that there were 5 original all powerful shifters who made the real world ones. this is wrong. shifters were a science experiment gotten out of control, and Nikola knows that.)

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

She would pack her knife, which her long dead brother gave her about 1500 years ago. she would take the pendant she wears, which was symbolic of the leadership position she used to hold before the people she was leading were all killed. She has a photo collection that she says never looks at out of fear of the light ruining them. Her best friend made her some copies, but she doesn’t look at those either. I think it hurts her to see the faces of the people she misses. She has a small bag of things tucked into the back of her closet that she never, ever touches or looks at. After the massacre that took her family, Angelo (the only survivor, her best friend) went through the carnage and collected the possessions of their friends. Nikola helped him bury them, but she couldn’t stand to take their things. he gave them to her afterwards, and she’s only every managed to take them out and look at them when she’s so drunk she knows she won’t remember the next day. But she would never leave them behind.

Nix-

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals?

Domenico “Nix” Tchaikova is Nikola’s son, so half-shifter. Shifters are, by necessity, a bit closer to nature than the rest of us, and even though he has almost no actual form changing abilities animals have always seemed to like him a bit more than his friends. He’s always assumed that it’s because of his prosthetic leg, that they realize he couldn’t chase them if he wanted to, but animals know things, and they can sense that he’s not quite the same as the other humans.

22. What are their favorite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

Nix would never insult someone behind their back- he has a temper, and if you piss him off he’s gonna confront you on the spot. His insults tend not to be physical. he might call you ugly if hes real mad, but hes much more likely to call you a coward or an idiot. He gets hit a lot for this.

29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective?

No, he’d never tease someone for being genuinely afraid. He knows fear too well to try and use it against people. If somebody he cared about was afraid of something, he would plant his tiny self between them and whatever it was no matter what. hes used to being seen as small and weak and incapable, and its resulted in a stupidly brave boy who gets himself into trouble a lot because he doesnt know when to back down.

Scott-

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory?

My boy!!! This is another one of Nikola’s children, one of the triplets. if you just read her thing, you can probably guess that she wouldn’t be a very good mother. Angelo, his father, was always loving and supportive, but both of his parents were just sad people who weren’t really prepared to raise three children. They grew up in the century before the war broke out, in a political climate that feared and hated them, among countless news stories of people like them being murdered and hunted. but Nikola still managed to give them a reasonably normal childhood. She found a place to settle down, near enough to a city that they could socialize and explore but far enough away they they grew up in the woods and could explore their natural abilities without being hunted down by hate groups.

He has a lot of good memories! pretty much all of them are him doing dumb shit with his siblings. they used to use their shifting to break into concerts or fly up to the roofs of tall buildings.

As for bad ones. definitely most of his bad memories are on Nikola’s head. He was the shifter equivalent of about eight years old when he saw her kill somebody for the first time. she didn’t know he was there, but im not sure if knowing would have changed anything. she’s been on a very long, very complicated vengeance quest since before he was born. She had tracked somebody down, and he watched while she slowly cornered him. You could practically smell the terror coming off the man as she drew her blade, moving towards him as she spoke. He had never heard her talk about the deaths of her family before, and as she told her prey all about how she had come home to find her kid brother on the floor with his throat slit open, there was something in her voice that he would never forget for the rest of his life. then he watched his mother put a knife through the bottom of the man’s jaw into his brain. he saw the light go out of his eyes, and he saw the absolute emptiness in his mother’s when she turned around. He ran as fast as he could back to his siblings and cried, but never told them what he saw.

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

He can sing!!! he has a voice like an angel and he loves to use it. he plays about twenty instruments- hes had a long time to learn- and he always carries at least one on him. he can use weaponry and is good at it, but doesnt enjoy it.

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

He doesn’t cry often. He doesn’t care if his siblings see him cry- theyre all so close its like crying in private- but with other people he doesnt like it. He just gets quiet when he’s sad. He’s not the moodiest of his siblings(that title goes to Lynx) but they all inherited something from their parents that makes them quiet, serious people on the whole. He feels deeply and thinks about things. Hes bisexual. I know that doesn’t go here but its important. He cried after he slept with a man for the first time, not because he was upset with himself about the gay thing but because he’d let himself fall for a human. The boy’s name was Jacob, and he didn’t understand but tried to comfort him anyways because he cared about Scott. They dated for a while, but Scott couldn’t handle knowing he would age and die so quickly and broke it off. Jacob was 43 when he was killed in a bombing during the war. Funerals had stopped happening at that time, people unable to keep up with all the dead. But there were still graves, and Scott visited Jacob’s for years afterwards.

Hero-

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

She looks a lot like her mom. about 5′7, muscular, strong features. She got her dads eyes though, the only one of her siblings to have them. Scott and Lynx and Nix all have Nikki’s distinctive golden-ringed brown. She likes her body fine, its a good and strong body. she likes that shes not the shortest of her siblings(lynx is tied and nix is smaller) but other than that she doesnt really care.

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

She was never much of a reader, and the only tv she ever got to see was when there was one on in a restaurant. She did enjoy films though, and her favorites were action. She got a certain something from Nikola that neither Scott or Lynx has, something kind of cold and fierce. Whatever it was that Scott saw in his mom’s eyes when she killed that man, exists in Hero too. Nix too, but less so. She would have liked video games a lot if she’d ever had the chance to really get into them.

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

She never went to school. Her father taught her to read and write, as well as everything he thought she needed to know about the world. She spent her childhood wandering with her siblings, and most things she needed to know she got from that. All three of them had been planning on going to college, but the war came before they got the chance. But I think if she’d gotten the chance she would have had an interest in something technical. Engineering or architecture maybe.

Lynx-

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

God I love Lynx. He would never, ever become a parent, but I think he would be a good one. Out of all of her children, Lynx inherited the most of Nikola’s sadness. In non dramatic terms she gave him her tendencies towards mental illness and its something hes struggled with his whole life. His siblings are a wonderful support system but he knows that any child of his would struggle like he has, and he has so many unhappy memories of Nikola’s misery that he would be too afraid. But children do like him, and he likes them. He’s a fun, playful person when he’s feeling good, and is absolutely delighted to discover he has a little brother. obviously hes got the same terror of losing him, but he has pushed those feelings tf down. he just wants to enjoy their relationship while he can. hes a wonderful, sweet, caring boy whos full of love and good times, but too scared of himself to ever be a parent.

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

When he’s happy, everybody knows it. He is an absolute delight. he does dance, actually. when hes happy he does it more but also its just a thing hes good at and loves to do. humans who see it know theres something not quite natural about the way he moves, and hes beautiful to watch when hes using it to express joy. He has bright eyes and a smile that makes you feel like you are safe and loved and that everything in the entire world is gonna be ok.

44. What is their favorite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most?

He loves any time of the year where it’s warm enough to wear skirts and loose, light shirts. The wintertime makes his depression worse, and a lot of years he and his siblings will head south to avoid it. but he loves warm breezes and cool nights by a fire, loves seeing the flowers in the spring and all the new baby animals. he isn’t at all a complainer, but when the weather is affecting him badly it’s easy to tell. he gets quiet, which is not something he is a lot.

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mittensmorgul · 7 years

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5.11: or, hey this pairs up interestingly with 12.11, doesn’t it?

And 12.15, come to think of it, since one of the three monsters Dean had killed at the beginning of the episode was a wraith, and we haven’t really heard much about wraiths in the intervening years, aside from that time in s6 when Eve was trying to make the perfect hybrid monster...

And speaking of perfect hybrids and monsters, have I mentioned s12?

*waves hello at Dabb screaming at me from the past again*

(not to mention the three monsters in 12.15 were El Sol creatures-- who either present a false version of reality themselves (ghouls taking on the identity of the last person they consumed), or have the ability to alter their victim’s perceptions of reality (djinn and wraith). Loss of identity is central to all three of these particular monsters.)

(and I’ll say it right here at the top of this post, loss of identity is my own personal biggest fear, and the thing I personally find most horrifying)

(and I think Dean feels the same, and not just in the sense of the “legacy” he’s wondered about leaving behind, but in a very real and present sense as the potential vessel for the archangel Michael, who was bred to be nothing more than an “angel condom.”)

And this entire episode bends reality right around, the one time Sam and Dean were entirely honest and open about their lives... and used that honesty to have themselves committed to a mental hospital.

SAM: Okay. Look...um...last few weeks, you've kind of been worrying me. DEAN: (rolls his eyes) Oh, come on, Sam. Stop. Look, just because we're in the loony bin doesn't give you the right to head-shrink me. SAM: Dean-- DEAN: Ellen and Jo dying--Yeah, it was a friggin' tragedy, okay? But I'm not gonna wallow in it. SAM: Dean, you always do this. You can't just keep this crap in. DEAN: (chuckles) Watch me.

Dabb loves to pick at this aspect of Sam and Dean’s relationship: Dean internalizes and Sam demands that Dean deal with his feelings by externalizing and discussing them. But Sam never really opens up about his OWN feelings, and instead spends most of his time trying to pressure Dean into talking. And round and round we go.

Dean DOES open up here, to a shocking degree... too bad he’s literally talking to himself here, to a figment of his own imagination, like his vision of “Benny” in 10.19.

Because from the moment the wraith examined them and infected them with her touch, they’ve been unwittingly manipulated to her will. Like Dean in 2.20 was under the djinn’s spell without realizing it, or under the siren’s spell in 4.14, or jerked around by the trickster in 2.15.

DR. CARTWRIGHT: Why do you have to hunt monsters? Why not let someone else do it? DEAN: (shrugs, smiles) Can't find anybody else that dumb. (thinks for a moment) It's my job. Somebody's gotta save people's asses, yours included. DR. CARTWRIGHT: So, is there a quota? How many people do you have to save? DEAN: All of them.

But Dean’s already been forced to “see” things that aren’t true and has been misled into believing that Dr. Fuller is the wraith, which leads to increasing mental instability for Sam and Dean, which leads to increasing limitations on their movement and ability to function. Because mental hospital where they seem to be getting mentally more and more unstable, because of the wraith’s influence provoking them into it...

What we do get a very good look at is some of these fundamental differences between Sam and Dean... Sam’s inherent underlying anger and his occasional disconnect from reality...

DEAN: I'm not crazy. SAM: Well...come on. I mean, you've been at least...half crazy for a long time, and since you got back from hell, or since before that, even. I mean, we're in a--we're in a mental hospital. (laughs) Maybe-Maybe you finally cracked! You know, maybe now you are really...for real...crazy... DEAN: I made a mistake, that's all. I'll find the thing. SAM: Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I know. SAM puts a hand on DEAN'S shoulder. DEAN looks down at SAM'S hand. SAM: It's okay. Hey, hey. Look at me. DEAN looks at SAM. SAM: It's okay...because you're my brother...and I still love ya. DEAN nods. SAM pokes at DEAN'S nose. SAM: Boop!

Just when Dean lets himself believe he’s not crazy, his own subconscious succumbs to the wraith’s venom and he completely loses touch with reality. He learns the “doctor” he’s been talking to all this time was never real, when she hurls every wrong thing he’s ever done back in his face from breaking the first seal all the way up to getting Jo and Ellen killed... all those things he keeps buried just so he can get through the day rise up to the surface to assault him all at once. All that guilt and horror is only magnified by the wraith venom and twisted back on him in a vicious loop that leaves him practically catatonic, trapped in this sick cycle of failure within his own mind.

*hi there, psychosis, my archnemesis*

All those protective measures Dean’s constructed for himself, hell half the Performing Dean persona he wears so often, is basically one long string of coping mechanisms to deal with all this shit. Granted by s12 he’s truly come to accept a lot of the things he used to blame himself for, making that Performing Dean mask less personally necessary for him a lot of the time. But all that guilt does often rear its ugly head no matter how tight a control Dean might try to keep over it. In 12.18 that came blatantly to the surface, manifested because of his guilt and worry over Cas.

Sam, meanwhile, after the drugs used to sedate him after his attack on Dr. Fuller, seems entirely sane and rational. He apologizes, asks for a second chance, and is genuinely regretful of his actions. So the doctor relents... with conditions.

And under the wraith’s influence, he hallucinates Dean accusing him of everything HE fears the most:

DEAN: (faces SAM) It's not the demon blood, Sam. It never was. SAM: What? DEAN: The problem was you. It was always you. The lies...your arrogance...the black spot on your soul.

EVERYONE appears to attack Sam at once, and he lashes out at them, fighting off all these invisible attackers... because that’s what they are. As much a figment of his imagination as the doctor laying on all the guilt.

Dean’s reflex reaction to that vulnerability is catatonia, Sam’s is violent anger.

But Dean sees Sam’s outburst, that he’s literally fighting against nothing, and despite being completely under the influence of the wraith, not to mention whatever psychotropic drugs they’ve put him on to control his “symptoms,” he still manages to put the pieces together. Crazy is the clue.

DEAN: (crouching next to MARTIN'S bed) Okay. What if this thing doesn't just feed on the insane? What if it makes people insane? (begging for clarification from MARTIN) Is it possible? Does that seem real?

Despite still being froot loops, Dean (like in 12.11 sans memories) still manages to track down the wraith...

WRAITH: Crazy brains. They get soaked in dopamine and adrenaline and all sorts of hormones and chemicals that make them...delicious. And the crazier they are, the better they taste. SAM: You did this to me! WRAITH: Well, I helped. But that rage? No, no, no. That's all you. I don't make crazy. I just crank up what's already there. You build your own hell, but I give you the Legos.

Dean fights her off and kills her, but the message sank home for Sam:

SAM: Most of the time, I can hide it, but...I am angry. I'm mad at everything. I used to be mad at you and Dad, then Lilith, now it's Lucifer, and I make excuses. I blame Ruby or the demon blood, but it's not their fault. It's not them. It's me. It's inside me. I'm mad...all the time...and I don't know why. SAM is very anguished and exasperated. DEAN steps closer. DEAN: Stop. Stop it. So what if you are? What are you gonna do? You gonna take a leave of absence? You gonna say yes to Lucifer? What? SAM: No, of course not. I-- DEAN: Exactly. And that's exactly what you're gonna do. You're gonna take all that crap and you're gonna bury it. You're gonna forget about it, because that's how we keep going! That's how we don't end up like Martin! Are you with me?

Because Dean’s still burying a kernel of the guilt and fear and worry about all of this ^^, and Sam’s definitely still burying some of that anger. But they’ve found better ways to deal with it than just burying it. It’s the fuel that keeps them fighting now.

And these issues might be things that are still underpinning who they are as people, but hell if coming to an understanding and acceptance of everything that made them those people they are today, that finally defeating some of those inner (and external) demons has been able to bring them a little bit of peace over the sacrifices they’ve made, and the cosmic forces that they’ve finally gotten out ahead of for once in their lives.

#spn 5.11 #s12 meta rewatch #spn 12.11 #performing dean #sam vs reality #sam sympathizes and dean empathizes #spn 12.15 #spn 10.19 #spn 2.20 #spn 4.14 #spn 12.18

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gwynne-fics · 7 years

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wei50-blog replied to your post “A Hot Mess – Ye-Sol and Myung-Soo instinct [a few years later] “Is...”

Yays, we see the happy ending for our couple! I was wondering why he felt so twitchy! Haha makes total sense! Myung-Soo was restless for 6 weeks but Ye-Sol only knew for 2? Does that mean that technically, he knew Ye-Sol was pregnant before she did? Sounds like this is a total surprise to Myung-Soo, but maybe not as much for Ye-Soo? Was she planning on getting pregnant?

Technically, he did know, so something about this change hit him in the place where his wolf is supposed to be. *waves hands at the supernatural*

In wolf culture, the man is supposed to be responsible for the protection or making sure not to have unprotected sex with a woman who is fertile. (Implications for Eun-Sang and Young-Do’s relationship here) Myung-Soo can’t do that so he relies on Ye-Sol to tell him. She decided they were ready so she wasn’t as careful about telling him when he absolutely needed to wear a condom.

Like the short hair with her new life Ye-Sol built with Myung-Soo! These few years with Ye-Sol probably went a long way to building up his self esteem. (Was Yoo-Ra still fluffing her tail at Myung-Soo?) A little surprised our couple didn’t mate already? Was it Myung-Soo or Ye-Sol? Or did they just not see the need to formalize their relationship? Did he feel some lack, and now will feel wolf enough to mate Ye-Sol?

They had been talking about a formal mating and that’s usually the conversation that means making a puppy is on the table. Even though the mark on Myung-Soo had faded, things were still really complicated. They were technically in an open relationship (allowing Yoo-Ra or whatever male had his eye on Ye-Sol to do tail fluffing) but both of them needed time to grow together.

Myung-Soo did feel lacking. Very powerful men were tail fluffing at Ye-Sol during this time but she never once wavered from him. Being a father is very important to male wolves, so this was an important thing to realize for Myung-Soo.

Myung-Soo hadn’t wanted to move out because of his mother? Was it something more than filial duty since he was gone for years in the military? Also, fun to see how Myung-Soo is so much a wolf even if he doesn’t have one inside. Haha, love all the wolfy stuff, and (almost) peacocking! Huh, interesting tradition. What would be the purpose of it? And it would be done only if an unmated woman got pregnant and wanted to formally name the father?

Wolf packs don’t like unnamed fathers. Taking responsibility for a litter or puppy is wrapped up in being a good man. If you are a father and not living up to being a good provider, the pack might run you out. Since there is no shame in casual coupling, this process allows the woman to get what they see as the right kind of support. There is no pressure to mate, but fulfilling your obligation as a father is paramount.

Myung-Soo is nervous because there have been men in the past who have used this tradition to their own advantage. He doesn’t want someone to claim he’s a cuckold because he’s not strong enough for Ye-Sol. Ye-Sol just wants to throw it in the haters faces that Myung-Soo is her choice above anyone else because he is strong enough for her.

She also grew up without a father and doesn’t want that for her puppy.

Chang-Yi had Ye-Sol a long time ago, way before Jae-Kyung had Myung-Soo. Were they together yet? What happened to their relationship when Jae-Kyung mated Myung-Soo’s father (who happened to be best friends and in love with each other?)? Where Chang-Yi and Jae-Kyung still together? What did the father (forgot if he was named…) think of the situation?

Chang-Yi had Ye-Sol before she and Jae-Kyung got together. Jae-Kyung is originally from another pack. But Jae-Kyung always wanted a child and in a culture that values biological children, Chang-Yi knew that the only way Jae-Kyung could happy was if she found a man she cared about to mate. I didn’t give the father a name but Chang-Yi suggested him as an option because he was already close to the two of them.

I think it is important to note that here, unlike Becoming Royals, Jae-Kyung and Chang-Yi are bisexual because that makes this story less problematic. Myung-Soo’s father decided that an open relationship was best and that Jae-Kyung would be happiest if she could be with them both.

She lost the two great loves of her life very close together. Myung-Soo caught her crying about it shortly after Ye-Sol asked to be punished. She shared with him the details and he decided to stay so she wouldn’t be lonely.

Holiday AU

Backstory! If Tan willingly made this (disgusting…) bet with Young-Do, why is he so upset at him? He should never have taken the bet… He’s a sore loser and never thought Young-Do would succeed? Possessive because Hyun-Joo was his brother’s mistress? Also, his anger at Hyun-Joo! Who made Tan the avenger of all who he sees as crossing his family? He doesn’t stop at just punishing in the present, but ruin all future too.

Tan even proposed the bet because he has always been a little shit and jealous of the way that girls, even in high school, would flock to Young-Do. The impetus of it was basically this:

Tan: You’re just playing with little girls. You couldn’t get a real woman like our teacher. Young-Do: Watch me.

Tan is the worst. His pride couldn’t take the hit and he discovered how good he was at revenge. Like, Won didn’t encourage this at all. He was willing to just break up with her, cancel her credit cards, and even give her time to find a new place. Tan is the one who blew it up (but Won didn’t exactly stop him either.)

So Young-Do, who has been so awesome, and exactly what Eun-Sang needs, is showing another side of himself. It’s funny how with certain people, no matter how much time as passed or how much you’ve matured, old emotions and reactions will just kick in… Will have to see how he explains things to Eun-Sang and if it is enough to keep her from running. How much detail did she know about what happened with Hyun-Joo?

Young-Do has come a very long way from the teenage boy who would do stuff like that for his own amusement. The fallout taught him that he wasn’t a god who could do anything he wanted with no consequences. He’s completely changed his attitude and done his best to be a better man despite his wealth. It was exactly what Eun-Sang needed until old habits got the better of him.

It might not be enough of a change for Eun-Sang.

Eun-Sang knows Tan’s side of things. She thinks it’s really weird that he cares so much and she doesn’t have a high opinion of Hyun-Joo either. But she rightly saw it as a Red Flag, so when she realized she wanted out, she put it on her list of reasons why Tan is a bad person >.>

#wei50-blog #gwynne replies #holiday answers #hot mess answers

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holy-mountaineering · 5 years

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This spread is for the homie @-ziggans-

This card screams that in the material world, if you build from what you know you will reap 3 fold rewards. The first formulation of a shape or 2-dimensions (the triangle, the 3 card) has in this card, been multiplied by itself. If you use methods you have already mastered, you have a much better chance of Gain-ing. Here Venus, Love, beauty, personal growth is in the fertile soil or possibility of Virgo.

Build from what you know and put yer Venusian focus in the best possible options you have available in practical, familiar way.

In Chokmah, which is like your freeway getting you out onto the road out of your hometown is XIX The Sun, Resh, Sol.

The Sun is The Lord of Light and Life, the center of our little Solar System. Everything in the fairly large gravitational pull of the Sun is affected by it which pulls everything to it. If it weren’t for The Sun, nothing in our Solar System (named after Sol, The Sun Himself) would be where it is or nearly as well lit or full of life.

This more or less self sufficient little nuclear reactor in space gives life and light but also pulls small things which cannot maintain an orbit around it in for the final burn. bright and full of life and light but deal not with bullshit trifles.

Center yourself but be aware of what you effect and how. Keep pumping out the power but make sure it’s that good good renewable energy.

Like all the 3s, this is the first formulation of the suit, Earth or material world things. The 3 sided pyramid pictured on this Tarot card sits on water propelled by Dharma Wheels, spinning and causing waves. The drive and energy of the warrior Mars has become stubborn and resolute in the goat-fish Capricorn.

This idea of work is not mindless toil. This is doing the very necessary things in your life so you don’t fuck yourself over on the basic things everyone needs to survive. This is formulating the most simple workable “shape of things” that gets your at least basic needs met so you can expand and become more than basic.

Put together a simple way of dealing with the material world, something that can be expanded on. Keep your wheels turning even if they feel like they’re just spinning. Make waves, they’ll go further and affect more than you think!

In Chesed which is ruled by Jupiter and again for the sake of this experiment we’ll say involves your influence and benevolence in your current trip is the Prince of Wands, the airy part of Fire.

This is thinking about what you’re doing while you’re doing it. This is an “on the job training” experience. You’re in the midst of or have hurled yourself into an action that you have to be mindful of while you’re doing it.

Learn about what is going on in your life and your actions by paying attention while you’re moving along and accomplishing things. You might not have time to take it all in right now, but it is time to do the damn thing while the damn thing is happening.

Across the Tree in Geburah, which is Mars Town, where you find your drive and what you’re trying to accomplish/conquer is the Princess of Wands, the earthy part of Fire.

This is the material substance that comes from fuels action. Think of this: you have to make a fire because it is cold. You have a set amount of wood. You can make a big ass, bright ass fire that will leave you cold later that night when you’re out of wood, but jazzed while it’s happening. Or you can make a smaller, less exciting fire that will keep you warm all night.

There is also a message about the last step in any action is really to become the actions and to let them become you. When your very Earthly substance is in it, you are no longer doing you just are.

Don’t burn yourself out and exhaust your resources on what you’re tackling in life right now. Do this and you shall live to dance and party another night.

In Tiphareth, the Sun and center of gravity holding all this in place, the heart pumping the blood through this, your heart is the thing you MUST focus on, XVII The Star, Heh, Aquarius.

Despite its name making me think of water, Aquarius is an air sign. Aquarius the water-bearer is the vehicle for the water she is baring. The life giving water flows through her. It has been said that “Tzaddi is not the Star” and Crowley made it so in the Thoth deck. There is a mystery in this attribution of the Hebrew letter to this Tarot card that I will not go into.

I read this card called the “Universal Principle of Self-Worth” or trusting yourself as the vehicle of transmission. Her gaze is toward her reflection in the cup above her and she is pouring through herself to the areas below herself.

Trust that you’re a worthy conduit to transmit what nourishes life. Trust that your shit is real and who you are makes you capable. That which is above wishes to come below through you.

In Netzach, Venus town, where you have the realization about how this is going to change you as a person with a personality is the 2 of Disks, Change.

In Mercury Town Hod-ville, where all the Universities are and everyone has real intellectual shit going on is the 6 of Wands, Victory.

This is organizing each action to interact with another to create friction at the intersections. 6s are like the idealized form of each of the suits, in this case FIRE or action, movement. Victory is achieved through strong organization. Here the strands come together to form the rope you pull yourself up with. Each piece is strong on it’s own but when you twist them together correctly you have a much better tool.

Don’t do isolated things, use each action to build on your goals.

On the Moon in Yesod, the receptive and reflective place that is alot about the feelings that you’re picking up from all this is the 8 of Cups, Indolence.

This is emotional stagnancy and “half fulfilled” desires. The structure and order of Saturn is pulled in two directions by Pieces. The waters have become still and a storm is on the horizon. It has been noted that the cups pictured in the card look an awful lot like ashtrays. It’s that shitty.

Try to begin to focus on emotional areas that haven’t received much attention lately unless you want them getting washed out in the storms coming. You must choose what to do in regards to moving forward emotionally or in a relationship that has become stagnant.

Down here in Malkuth-istan, the everyday life mundane, waking up pooping, and going to work world is the ever opening, III The Empress, Daleth, Venus.

Daleth is the open door, like you’d leave your bedroom door unlocked if your lover were coming over, you want them inside (pun sort of intended). This is not passivity but waiting for the spring (or Aries her partner IV The Emperor) to energize what you have. Like the symbolic Pelican (phoenix also) spitting its breast open to feed its young, or like a pregnant person, the brunt of the responsibility for your future growth lies in you.

Be ready and prepared for new growth like springtime, but remember, this all hinges on you and your openness to growth.

So, we’re starting from a place of having multiplied what you know how to do in your regular money making life, with good-ass results. Doing this has put you in a place where you can finally take some time and focus on number 1 (not that you should think of yourself as more important than those in your orbit, it’s just that you are you and they are not, so gas up your car not theirs?) and study those celestial bodies sataliting about you, exemplifying, juxtaposing and uniting you with your cosmic neighborhood, so to speak. And the news is that you should stick with what you know because apparently that skill is well formulated and consistently produces good results that benefit you and that community around you.

Now, as far as you influencing your world, uh, well, you’re not very used to having a say in what goes on around you, but as you’re given more responsibility, you’re going to have to really learn on the fly and learn to pace yourself so you don’t just burn up and out. And that’s ‘cause ya need to be focusing on how cool you are and how you are totally trustworthy and can deal with all this stuff your way (since it is coming through you anyway) and all this new responsibility is something you can handle.

While you change and grow as a person, just realize that you’re always slowly shifting that, right now it is noticeable because that change is extra pronounced, but again, it’s not anything “new” or unmanageable. Part of the ”new new” is thinking about your actions/the tasks you’re responsible for are all building on each other to make one big whole thing. The sum being greater than the whole of its parts. Speaking of sums and parts, you need to work on surrounding yourself with people and energy that are fulfilling emotional and “connective” areas of your life you’ve been neglecting, these higher connections and emotions have been wholesale left to rot on the vine and it is time to pick those fruits, they are done ripening, now you gotta do something with them and ignoring those Watery areas will just leave you all dry and dusty. That being said, the answer to “HOW I DO THAT” is just being open to the experience/possibility/persons as they arrive into your life. Don’t seek after it, it will come to you and know exactly how to activate you and get the blood pumping again and everywhere!

Ta Da another successful Tarot reading for you. Let me know how you wanna proceed with the further readings.

Hit me up with any questions, of course!

-Frater N0vght

#tarot spreads #divination #cartomancy #occult #magick

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holy-mountaineering · 5 years

Text

This spread is for @coldestcaress

Where we’re starting the journey from is Kether, the monad, the first sign of creation. We’ll call this your hometown, since it is where you’re from originally. Here we have the 2 of Disks, Change.

In Chokmah, which is like your freeway getting you out onto the road out of your hometown is the 8 of Wands, Swiftness.

This is the idea that a huge fire can burn a city down but harnessed it can power a city. The idea here is of the atom harnessed not to destroy but to produce great and beneficial energy, like a power plant. The wands on the 8 have turned to electricity, the light a rainbow.

Harness your actions into the most efficient and useful manner, energize (Sagittarius) your intellect (Mercury).  If you’re having trouble with what you’re trying to accomplish, look at it through a ”new lense” that splits the light and makes it more visible.

In Chesed which is ruled by Jupiter and again for the sake of this experiment we’ll say involves your influence and benevolence in your current trip is a previously discussed card this evening, XVII The Star, Heh, Aquarius.

Trust that you’re a worthy conduit to transmit what nourishes life. Trust that your shit is real and who you are makes you capable. That which is above wishes to come below through you.

Across the Tree in Geburah, which is Mars Town, where you find your drive and what you’re trying to accomplish/conquer is the seat of your pants, the Prince of Wands, the airy part of Fire.

In Tiphareth, the Sun and center of gravity holding all this in place, the heart pumping the blood through this, your heart is the 6 of Wands, Victory.

Don’t do isolated things, use each action to build on your goals.

In Netzach, Venus town, where you have the realization about how this is going to change you as a person with a personality is VI The Lovers.

These Lovers aren’t about romantic love as much as it is the ‘Love unites the divided.’ This is the ceremony part of the alchemical wedding or the announcement of the intention to dissolve duality. Coagula.

All inverse and adverse elements of the card are brought together under the blessing of the Initiator who is giving the sign of the enterer. This is to say he is blessing your entering into this union of your shadow and conscious self.

You have some work to do on making a more unified you. There are issues that once brought together and balanced make more sense. Bring opposites or aspects of yourself you’re not familiar with/comfortable with together in your life to make a more complete whole. Set intention to do this, maybe even formally.

In Mercury Town Hod-ville, where all the Universities are and everyone has real intellectual shit going on is the Ace of Wands, The root power or source of Fire, action, motion.

The Ace of Wands or Fire is the big bang of impetus to action, every other motion afterward is spawned from that moment. In practical terms this is the initial event or action that in it’s uncontrolled state causes a series of reactions. The first drive toward an end or event, the force that sets things in motion. The explosion that brings things to life might be a really messy ordeal. This is all the subtlety of a burning baseball bat with ten flames for nails. Regardless of the problem of stagnant things getting burnt, the Ace of Wands causes shit to happen and Will to drive forward. Remember that this is a tool, the Wand of the Magus and should only be profaned in useful and/or hilarious ways. You wouldn’t use a flaming baseball bat to get a moth off of your curtains (probably) and so the Ace of Fire can also be related to brute force or overreaching the necessary force.

On the Moon in Yesod, the receptive and reflective place that is alot about the feelings that you’re picking up from all this is the 3 of Cups, Abundance.

Like all 3s this is the first shape (triangle) the suit takes, in this case Water or emotion, intuition, and connectedness to life. This card is about taking care of your basic emotional shit that connects you to other people in your relationships so that you might build and move on intelligently. The intelligence and communicative abilities of Mercury are in the maternal and intuitive Cancer.

Try to put some basic form to how you’re feeling right now. Don’t focus on a finished product like healing every relationship you’ve ever had, just start putting it together the most basic way you can so you can move forward in a new and more complete place.

Down here in Malkuth-istan, the everyday life mundane, waking up pooping, and going to work world is the 9 of Cups, Happiness.

Cultivate relationships and connective feelings that aren’t lopsided or just giving/taking. Keep building you’re not done yet.

SO, short version is, you’re going through an undeniable real life “shit’s getting different” change and you have the opportunity to use the energy collected from this change to really get shit done and power those projects you’re working on. Here’s a piece of advice: instead of organizing your mind around the ruin and everything that’s gone wrong lately, get you mind ready for the come down from all the fuckery. The dumb shit has reached its end and now it’s time to trust yourself and that you’ve pulled through.

Now, what you’re going to be doing from here on out is figuring it the fuck out while it happens. You again are going to have some great opportunities arise to power through what you’re trying to accomplish but it is crucial that everything you do, each action you take is building into the “master plan” which you’re gunna both need and figure out if you just take your foot off the brakes and trust that you know what you’re doing.

None of this is just for the sake of you doing it, by the way. You’re working on a more complete you and that’s going to require a bit of dedication to yourself and to this whole you. The parts of you that you’re trying to maybe get away from really just need to be accepted and integrated into you. Ya are who ya are and no amount of ignoring it will change it. Marry yourself, love that uncomfortable place and bring it in.

And to further a point, DOOOOOO. Your thought process as well as what you’re communicating to the world should be focused on WHAT you’re DOING, not anything else. This period of your life is for acting, doing, and going. That being said, you’re gunna have some feelings and need to be around folks that make you feel at least basically emotionally secure. Nothing is going to get in your way more than disrupted feelings and being around dysfunctional people and interpersonal relationships with that mess. You should work on cultivating relationships that are reciprocal right now, especially networking with folks to help you accomplish all this cool shit you’re about to do!

Ta Da! Hit me up with any questions, comments, or concerns!

-Frater N0ught

#tarot card spreads #magick #divination #cartomancy #occult #altars

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