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itsomgitsgreenblogging · 4 years

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A Never-Ending Feast

Yes, it is me again. Really we all should have expected this, but when Jester pulled out Heroes' Feast in episode 105, my friend alixcat basically said, yeah, you are writing a fic about Jester using Heroes' Feast right? And I was like....yeah, you right. I'm back on my Labor of Love bullshit 24/7. This one's for you!

Jester often shows love through acts of service, OR 5 times that Jester summoned a feast for others and the 1 time she made a feast for herself.

Bon appetit!

Read on AO3

Preview:

The trudge to the inn was a terrible one. It was one of those summer days that clung to your skin and sowed misery with the humidity. It was almost a relief for it to start raining, but as soon as it did the wind howled and shook the trees with intensity, and the sky cracked open with lightning and thunder. Yasha looked unbothered by the storm, but Beau grumbled and trudged her way through the front door of the inn looking like she had been personally insulted. It didn’t help that when they ordered food, all they received was burnt chicken and wilted vegetables coated in oil.

“I can’t believe we spent money on this shit,” Beauregard snapped, her temper hot and lashing like a whip. She cast a dirty look to the innkeeper, who plainly ignored it and continued on with their day.

“I know what will make us all feel better,” Jester said, fluttering her fingers with her excitement. “I have that new spell that makes the food! Everyone, let’s go upstairs to our room and I’ll make us a feast!”

“I’m down,” Fjord said, picking up a particularly sad looking green bean from his plate and watching it flop around in an extremely unappetizing manner, not that Jester ever believed that beans were good. They were one of those things that Mama swore were good for her, but if they were so good for her then maybe they ought to taste good too! Regardless of her feelings about green beans, the Mighty Nein all followed Jester up to their room, where she settled down on a blanket and pulled out her jewel encrusted goblet. For a moment she prayed, and then the Traveler’s energy pulsed through her.

What kind of feast shall it be today? Jester heard the Traveler ask.

I’m thinking...summer! The kind of things you would eat on a beautiful summer day, the kind of summer day that Beau would love, not whatever this shitty day is!

Magic overflowed from the goblet, and out from the ground plates patterned with flowers, and bowls of porcelain began to appear like they were sprouting flowers and tall grasses. Strawberry shortcakes with dollops of indulgent creams that were scented of vanilla and the zest of lemons, peach crumbles with layers of streusel flavored with the warming spices of ginger and cinnamon to give it just a punch of flavor. Scoops of coconut ice cream covered in toasted coconuts and topped with pineapple sauce and bright cherries. Bananas dipped in chocolate and covered in toasted nuts and strawberries, slices of banana cream pie and rhubarb pie.

Veth picked up a glass bowl containing a trifle half the size of her body, layers of cake soaked in rum, blueberry sauce, custard, berries, and jelly that was arranged like a large fruit display. Caleb began cutting slices of a pavlova, sweet toasted meringue garnished with kiwis, passionfruit, strawberries and cream. Yasha and Fjord were busy sharing a pineapple upside down cake and coconut ice cream, as Beau worked on her own plate that she stacked high with pies baked into jars.

“I’ve never had iced tea before,” Caduceus said, taking a long indulgent sip from a glass.“Would you like some?”

“Oh yes!” Jester said as she took the glass. It was iced tea as her Mama made it, the signature Nicodranas brew layered with black-citrus tea with sweetened condensed milk and coconut milk. Jester sighed as the flavors mingled on her tongue. She took a mouthful of streusel next, sighing as the tender peach melted her in mouth with the brown sugar and coconut and made the flavor of summer. She dipped forkfuls of banana cream pie in pineapple sauce, cut chocolate covered bananas to add to her slice of pavlova. She took indulgent sips of different drinks to refresh her palate and add more flavor, watermelon tea or frosted lemonade or fizzing fruity floats with scoops of ice cream that melted into foam that lapped at the edge of goblets the size of bowls.

By the time the hour was up and the feast vanished, Jester had truly eaten her fill. She sighed as she settled into bed that night. For a moment she swore she felt Beau’s eyes on her.

“Thanks Jester,” Beau said, voice rough with feeling. “That did hit the spot.”

“Of course,” Jester said with a smile that Beau couldn’t see. “Any time.”

______________________________________

They sat camped outside the dungeon, in the bubble as Caleb meticulously casted. The villagers there had complained about something coming up from the depths of the old abandoned mine. Jester wondered idly if it could be gnolls again, but based on what Fjord and Beau had discovered while snooping about it seemed to be something far more...trickey.

“We just don’t know what we are gonna be walking into,” Fjord said worriedly as he balanced the Star Razor across his knees. Yasha who had been minding the perimeter came back and settled down, looking a bit unnerved. Jester felt a quiet sense of concern for her. It really was awful how she kept getting mind-controlled all the time! Jester would need to talk to the Traveler about that some time to see if she could help.

“If we hit it hard enough, it’ll fall,” Veth said, cocking her crossbow confidently.

“It might not hurt to prepare ourselves though,” Caleb said as he sat himself down next to Veth. Caleb then caught Jester’s attention with an awkward wave. “Jester, would you be, perhaps, capable of creating that feast again? To...ah...bolster our efforts?”

“Yeah, yeah yeah yeah,” Jester said thinking about it. “I can do that today!”

“Can you include some meat?” Veth said, picking at her teeth. “Any at all?”

“I have to give Caduceus something to eat!” Jester said, reminding Veth as she pulled out her bowl.

“Aw, that’s nice,” Caduceus hummed as he fixed his sleeping bag.

Jester settled it on the ground, and as she had done before she called the Traveler’s power to her.

What kind of feast shall it be today? Jester heard the Traveler ask.

I’m thinking...warm and filling! Something crisp like an apple on a brisk fall day, and the flavors of a Harvest Close Festival.

And there on plates and bowls patterned with leaves in brilliant autumn colors was their feast. A whole roast duck glazed with orange sauce and served on a platter on a smear of plum applesauce with skin so crispy that it cracked when Caleb took his first bite. Bowls full of sunny pumpkin soup topped with crisped onion, that paired perfectly with loaves of bread that were stuffed with fennel-pork sausage that Beau downed so quickly that Jester was half sure it would be more effective to just raise the bowl to her lips. Rabbit in rosemary-wine sauce, served with sides of potatoes mixed together with a spicy savory mustard, and mushroom risotto with rice so tender it brought tears to the eyes.

And then of course dessert, which Jester was mostly concerned about and wouldn’t dare to stint on the servings. Apple pie with cinnamon-sugar dusted on crumbling crusts. Baked apples covered luxuriously thick caramel sauce and covered in peanuts, and elephant ears swirled in cinnamon and drizzled with frosting. There were slices of smooth and glossy pumpkin pie and crunchy and delicately sweet pecan pies topped with dollops of whipped cream, and sweet potato cheesecake with gingersnap streusel crumbled on top. Goblets were full of apple cider, or hot chocolate with toasted marshmallows and drizzled with salted caramel, and coffee made buttery and rich with swirls of cream and brown sugar and even pumpkin. Butterscotch cookies pressed into the edges of large glasses of milk were what caught Jester's eyes first and foremost.

"This is my favorite thing," Jester said as she dipped the warm cookie into the glass of milk that had a rim encrusted with chocolate dust and cinnamon sugar, sighing as the butter, crunchy edges of the cookie, and the sweetened warm milk melted together in perfect harmony. Veth pressed in close to her, finishing off her plate before grabbing a glass of milk and cookies.

"This reminds me of when I was a girl," Veth laughed, her eyes misty. "But my mother wasn't nearly as good of a cook as your magic is."

“Aw, thank you,” Jester chirped, trading her now empty glass for a new plate and taking bites from pecan pie and long sips from cream-pumpkin-coffee. She gave Veth a side hug that Veth gladly leaned in to.

"It really is lovely," Caleb said, with a soft reflective look of his own as he stopped up soup with a piece of bread. His dark fingers sweeping around in a well practiced movement before popping the last piece of bread in his mouth.

“Hey, save some for the rest of us,” Beauregard teased as she elbowed Caleb.

“There’s plenty to share,” Veth argued with no heat. “I’ll make you a plate.”

Jester said nothing, but cuddled more firmly against Veth's side as she enjoyed her cookies in milk, thinking of a time with her own mother and perhaps something like this.

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The ship rocked them back and forth as they gathered in the captain’s quarters. Jester had been full of energy ever since she learned that today was Fjord’s birthday. He had asked for nothing big or special, trying to argue that he couldn’t know his actual birthday and that he was getting too old for celebrations, but all of them had gotten him gifts regardless. Small little useful things, because Fjord would have surely refused anything more than that. Once the others had finish gifting things to Fjord, which he took with an increasingly tender and misty-eyed expression, Jester pulled out her jeweled goblet and set it upon the table. She casted the spell as she usually did, feeling her chest fill with the energy of her god.

What kind of feast are we having today? The Traveler asked curiously.

A celebration! Jester responded exuberantly. A fancy dinner party!

Upon the table that Fjord had set up, the plates and bowls and trays appeared, bubbling up from the spell like little boats buoyed on the water. A sweet and creamy lobster bisque, besides a tray of mussels steamed in white wine garlic and lemon juice, and nestled between buckwheat galettes made of salmon, capers, and dill. Mashed potatoes that were made smooth and rich with exorbitant amounts of butter found a place next to plates of mushrooms and gnocchi in a tomato cream sauce, and spicy butternut squash soup. Crispy crab cakes with a rainbow of dipping sauces in bowls shaped like shells and baked oysters dusted with spices and cheese. There was even a whole braised octopus in the center of the table, arranged among slices of lemon.

“I’ve never had anything like this,” Caleb admitted as he looked at the perfect slices of raw tuna in a loose approximation of a raw bar. “Is this supposed to be raw?”

“It tastes pretty good,” Veth said, scooping up her own serving of the ceviche of raw tuna marinated in lime juice and tossed with onions, tomatoes, avocados, and cilantro. She slurped down mussels at an alarming rate and did her best to encourage Caleb to cry the crispy calamari with the garlic aioli and the steamer swimming in butter.

"Look, our favorite!" Fjord said, sharing a knowing look with Beau and Yasha as he motioned to the plate full of fried fish and potatoes with tartar sauce. Beau and Yasha laughed as they loaded up their plates, pressing the flaky white fish into sandwiches made from the warm fresh white bread.

“What’s for dessert?” Caduceus asked curiously.

“Chocolate! You can’t really have a birthday without a chocolate cake,” Jester said excitedly as she moved to cut slices of a decadent chocolate cake, moist and sweet and filled with chocolate cream and raspberry sauce, settled besides saucers of chocolate mousse, and crisp cannolis filled with sweetened ricotta and chocolate chips. Chocolate covered strawberries were gathered in a luxurious array of white, milk, and dark and covered with nuts and candies. Stacks of salted caramel millionaire’s shortbread with crisp butter-cookie sandwiching layers of caramel and covered in chocolate, even bubbling pots of chocolate and caramel fondue with a wide array of fruits and snacks to dip into the heavenly smelling liquid.

“Thank you, Jester,” Fjord said with a wide smile that had lantern-light glinting off his tusk. “Thank you all of you. This has really been the best birthday I have ever had.”

“Don’t forget to blow out your candles!” Jester said, offering him a slice of his cake. Beauregard reached over to the goblet and pulled out a candle, passing it to Veth who planted it on his cake. Caleb reached out to punch the candle and it lit and began to glow.

Fjord blew out his candle, and closed his eyes to make a wish. As she took a bite of her own slice of cake and then dipping a forkful in the chocolate fondue, she wondered if any wish could top this simple pleasure as she pressed it against the top of her mouth so it could just melt away bit by bit and she could savor it. She would try to savor it all, for as long as she could.

____________________________

No one enjoyed trudging through a swamp, especially not Caduceus. Jester knew the Wildmother was a powerful god god, but it seemed to her that she could look out for Caduceus a little better. Jester found that the task often went to her, and of course she didn’t mind. Caduceus was steady as a rock, let Jester braid his hair, and listened intently whenever Jester rambled. The least Jester could do was yank Caduceus out of muck puddles whenever he fell in them, in return for being such a good friend. Jester could tell though that Caduceus was relieved when they stopped for the night, and Yasha who had fallen into a bush of prickers was just as excited to be bedding down. They would have a hard day ahead of them the next day, this Jester knew. So when Yasha quietly asked her if she could cast Heroes’ Feast to aid them, Jester already knew what was on the menu.

What sort of feast tickles your fancy, my dear Jester? The Traveler asked her.

Now seems as good a time as any to have an afternoon tea!

At night?

Of course, duh!

I do love the way you think. The Traveler chuckled as the goblet summoned for them their feast, spreading it about the dome.

Their afternoon tea was spread out on three tier and four tier porcelain stands decorated in flowering vines, kettles appeared and whistled merrily as they did as did beautiful tea sets in a variety of flowering colors and painted with rabbits and ducklings. Nestled among the kettles and tea cups were pots of toppings, from sunshine yellow lemon curd to vibrant marmalade and a treasure trove of jams to clotted cream and thick yellow custard. There was a stand of finger sandwiches all cut in diagonals, like cucumber and herbal butter, watercress and fluffy egg salad, prosciutto and goat cheese, and smoked salmon and cream cheese. One that Jester scooped up was a fluffernutter that made Jester smile. The next stand was a twisting array of scones filled with fruit or berries or nuts or spiced with cinnamon in turn, hearty spiced pumpkin muffins, blueberry muffins, lemon-poppy seed muffins, and danishes filled with jams or sweet cheeses and dusted with sugar or drizzled with vanilla frosting. And then of course, the cookies. Trays of cookies from madeleines with their shell-like filigree edges to smooth as button macarons to stacks of simple butter cookies and shortbread surrounded them like patches of wildflowers.

“Oh Jester, this is wonderful,” Caduceus sighed into his cup of tea. “Let me pour you a cup?”

Jester nodded enthusiastically as Caduceus poured her a cup of ruby-red tea. Jester took a sip and was immediately struck by the gorgeous strawberry almost malty note of it. Dipping in a shortbread cookie and eating it made her whimper with the sublime pleasure. The shortbread simply melted into her mouth like a dream, like it was meant to be together.

“It’s too bad we can’t stop for an afternoon tea every day,” Jester sighed as she excitedly cut open a scone to layer it with clotted cream and blueberry jam and lemon curd. Caleb watched her do this and mirrored it, though adding far less then she did of all three toppings except the lemon curd. Jester didn’t understand why he was being so stingy, but not everyone could truly appreciate sweets as she did.

“I can’t eat rich food too often,” Beauregard admitted as she cornered the market on tiny finger sandwiches. “It’s a nice once in a while thing, but otherwise it screws up my workout routine.”

“This is magic food though,” Veth pointed out. “Does it really count?”

“Tastes the same, and feels the same in my stomach,” Beauregard said with a shrug.

“What are these tiny orange things?” Yasha asked as she eyed a canape.

“That would be salmon roe,” Fjord explained and when seeing Yasha’s befuddled reaction further explained, “fish eggs.”

“Tasty,” Yasha said, offering no more explanation on that as she popped it in her mouth.

“All we need now is a fancy place to sleep,” Jester said excitedly as she poured another cup of tea and tried that one. This tea was bright and citrus and with a strong floral note, that perfectly matched the lemon-poppy seed muffin and was smoothed by the lemon-vanilla frosting on top. “You guys have got to try this tea! I’ll get everyone a cup!”

“It tastes like flowers,” Veth said, doing that thing where it sounded like she was complaining but she really wasn’t.

“It does, doesn’t it?” Caduceus asked, smile sweet on his face. Yasha smiled too, but didn’t say a word.

_____________________________________________

In Jester’s nightmares, there was a different kind of feast.

The room itself was familiar, and Jester could almost feel like she shouldn’t be there but couldn’t remember why in the haze of the dream. There was a single window above the door, casting the glow of a red and violet twilight across the room that was cluttered with bottles and jars and strange books and drying herbs. The only other light was fat candles of yellow-beeswax, choked by glass and made dim, and the dying embers of a hearth. The table was set for two, and yet as Jester looked around she was the only one in the cramped little home. Even the ceiling cages swung empty and creaking amongst the wooden slots. Jester took a seat, and just as she did she saw her goblet sat in the center of the empty table.

Her goblet overflowed, and out of the spreading liquid came a menagerie of sweets. Jester set herself upon them all with a reckless abandon. A strange sludge in a crusty bowl ended up being blueberry soups with dollops of sweet cream, overturned cups ended up being creme brulee with glistening caramel crusted on the tops, casseroles full of bread pudding steaming with cinnamon and drizzled with butterscotch and topped with ice cream flecked with ice cream. There was a bouquet of flowers that filled the air with their sugary scent, that as Jester plucked a beautiful pink bloom melted into her mouth with the flavor of rosehip and fairy floss. Forks melted in between her fingers and she realized they were made of chocolate, and the placemats were now made of crunchy honeycomb. She bit into her glass only to realize it was made of shards of sugar flavored with mint and the liquid within like pressed and sweetened lemons and melons. She took more ravenous bites, filled her plate high and yet somehow treats continued to spring from that never-ending goblet-

The liquid from her goblet splashed and overflowed as it turned over under the weight and gushed out like a strange pulsing wound, dripping off the edges of the tables and onto Jester’s skirt and seeped in. She recoiled from the sensation, scurrying away as she swiped at it with her fingers. With her vision and the dim light she could see that the liquid was a oily black. The candles all flickered as if shuddered by a breeze, the smoke hazy and twisting as it tickled the low-hanging herbs that were drying from the ceiling. The liquid began to splatter onto the scratched and dusty floor, pitter-pattering at an ever-increasing rate.

“Now, now my dear,” a familiar croaking voice said as a large hand settled upon her shoulder, fingernails slicing past layers of her cloak. Jester could hear the cracking of dusty-joints and the lumbering crunch of her footsteps. “You have prepared such a feast for me.”

“I...uh…” Jester squeaked as she felt a too long finger mind her neck. She didn’t dare to move, afraid that such a movement would slit her own throat, but let Isharnai tip her chin up and back so Jester could see the witch hunched over her.

“Such a precious giving girl,” Isharnai cooed, and her strange face came into focus, dull green eyes searching Jester for some truth that Jester desperately didn’t want to admit. “So full of misery. What a treat you are.”

“I’m not,” Jester said, her heart pulsing quick and fast in her ears. Her fingers were slick with the black liquid now, it was up to her thighs now bunching and collecting her skirts and glueing them to her legs. But it was her fingers-suddenly she couldn’t move them, as if she had gone numb at the wrist. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t breathe as suddenly the panic overtook her. Where were her friends? Where had everyone gone-?

“We are friends. Friends don’t lie to each other,” Isharnai said, voice cruel with softness. “Now come, don’t you want your last cupcake?”

-Jester looked up to the table again and saw wilted flowers and cracked bowls and something bleeding-it was a heart and it was still beating and the whole home contracted and pulsed like it was a thing alive and in the center of it all there was a single cupcake that glistened with gold and-

What a horrible dream! The Traveler’s voice swept across her mind like the wind on a winding path. For a moment she felt like she was falling and yet she didn’t fear as the wind carried the scent of autumn. No need for this, sleep now Jester and know I am with you.

And so the color of her dreams changed, and she slipped into something safe.

____________________________

The girl behind the counter was a teenager, fresh faced and with her hair in twin braids. She had a dusting of freckles across her thin nose and smiled happily when Jester walked through the door of the little bakery in the nowhere town that they had stopped in for the night. It was bright and early the next morning, and Jester had snuck out apart from her friends in hopes of finding something that answered her prayers. The Traveler truly was with her in this endeavour.

"What can I get you this morning?"

"What do you have?"

"Would you like savory or sweet?"

"Sweet, always sweet," Jester said seriously, because sweets were no laughing matter at all.

"We have muffins, blueberry, cinnamon swirl, and cornbread. We also have cinnamon rolls, and we do have cupcakes."

"What kind of cupcakes?" Jester asked excitedly.

"We have a honey-apple cupcake, gingerbread cupcake, and a carrot cake cupcake. The carrot cake is our topseller."

"Carrot cake," Jester grumbled, feeling her nose scrunch. She knew that it was a popular flavor, but she just couldn't wrap her mind around a vegetable in a cake. But she did know from Beau's grumbles that she enjoyed carrot cake even though, as Caleb had pointed out, it was rather nerdy and old-fashioned of her. Beau had given him a solid punch in the arm at the teasing and had disagreed in the way she did where she wasn't really disagreeing but more arguing for the sake of arguing. "Alright, I'll take a dozen, but like a mixed dozen. Four of each flavor?"

"Absolutely, that'll be four silver."

Jester slid the girl six silver and smiled.

"You keep the change," Jester told her and watched as the girl's eyes widened and she nodded vigorously. The girl quickly packed up the cupcakes and tied the box with a string before handing it off to Jester. She smiled and thanked her again before heading off. Jester walked for a little bit, finding the apple tree just outside of the inn that they were saying. Carefully she set her box on the ground as she pulled out her own handkerchief and settled it amongst the roots. She carefully opened the box of cupcakes, careful not to jostle any of them. She lifted one out from the box, the honey-apple cupcake Jester assumed based off of the drizzle of honey that covered the swirl of vanilla buttercream.

“I thought we might share this,” Jester said as she crossed her legs, feeling the morning dew and the sunshine dappling her face as the trees shifted with a breeze. She lifted the cupcake to her lips and took a bite. She sighed at the flavor of the sweet floral honey infusing the cake with its buttery undertones and mellow vanilla crumble, the sharp flavor of the apple-filling that was syrupy and made decadent with brown sugar and cinnamon and the tang of lemon, and of course the melting buttercream frosting that dissipated like a vanilla cloud. Jester felt a hand touch hers, and a shoulder bump against her own.

“Thank you, Jester,” the Traveler said whispered and when Jester blinked there was a second bite taken out of her cupcake.

Jester laughed, and went to take another bite.

#critical role #critical role fanfiction #jester lavorre #5+1 fic #food descriptions galore #read with a snack

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thesixweekseeker · 8 years

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Kauai: The Garden Isle (South Shore)

(January 2017)

I just wrapped up my time in Kauai and I could not have imagined a better place to spend the New Year and launch our January Six Week groups: A+++. We decided to start our Kauai adventure on the South Shore “the sunny side of the island” and had the good fortune to have Steve from Steve’s Taxis, who grabbed us from Lihue Airport on day one. He became our super helpful “hey – what’s the best place for…” guy over the next few days as he was taking us to/from excursions. (Side note on getting around in the South Shore: if you go over the holidays, and get quoted a ridiculous amount for car rentals like we did, using a taxi is totally do-able and you’ll likely come out positive vs the rental price.)

We picked Koloa Landing for our hotel option, and this turned out to be a great choice for the no-car situation. We were a five-minute walk to the beach and within easy walking distance to all of the little village centers. It was a large property with good pools, hot tubs, a practice putting green and the rooms are big and recently updated. The big winner for me was the washing and drying machines IN THE ROOM. Coming from 2.5 years of needing to schlep my laundry a few blocks to the wash and fold, I felt like a big time baller. If traveling to the area, especially if you don’t have kids (fine if you do – just less “kid crowded” than the other nearby hotels) this is a great option without breaking the bank.

Once lodging was situated, I of course needed to find and become friends with a local barista (me caffeinated = everyone benefits). I was excited to find my new local coffee shop in Koloa: Cortado Coffee Bar. I met the owner Schuyler, who decided to pack up life and relocate to Kauai (good choice) three years ago and set up this small fabulous coffee shop. There were several drinks on the menu that I wanted to try, but this cute bubbly girl in front me told me to get the CocoLoco since that’s what she had every morning for the past two weeks, and I of course wanted to be cool like her, so I got the CocoLoco… and proceeded to come back for that drink every morning during my time there. The CocoLoco included a delicious blend of espresso, cayenne, coconut milk, local raw honey and coffee ice cubes. For my Six Weekers, I’m now throwing in some cayenne with my coffee, coconut oil and cinnamon blend and it gives it a nice little kick. From someone who usually doesn’t like the kick – this is a big deal. Five stars to you Schulyer for making my morning java jolt fantastic!

Now that coffee was covered, I had a goal to eat fish tacos for every meal. Luckily I didn’t accomplish that goal, but I did find Savage Shrimp in the Kukulu'ula Village shopping center (just a few minutes’ walk from Cortado). It’s a little hole in the wall but please do yourself a favor and get one order of the Garlic Shrimp Tacos and one order of the Fish Tacos. The service is definitely on Hawaiian time, but well worth the wait brah. Another winner for fish tacos was Duke’s in Lihue, which also happens to serve a gigantic complimentary macadamia nut ice cream chocolate something for birthdays, so they clearly won my heart. (This happened in between Six Week programs so don’t judge.)

One of my favorite dining experiences of the trip was dinner at The Beach House. Look ahead to see what time the sunset is on the night you want to go, then make your reservation for about 30 minutes before that. In addition to amazingly fresh fish dishes, you will have a front row seat to an epic sunset. They have a professional photographer there if you want a legit pic and you can go to/from your table during the sunset to take it all in if/as much as you want. Another bonus - if you have a celebratory bottle of wine that you want to bring with you, which we did, they only charge you a small corkage fee. Double bonus, since we had a special birthday that night, they waived the fee. High five.

Two additional favorites that are well worth the mention: Kauai Juice Company and Anuenue Café. Kauai Juice Company has a great story as the owner got her start by making homemade Kombucha on the side. Through the support of her community who helped her raise funds through a Kickstarter, she has successfully started her business and is now in three locations on the island using 100% organic and locally-sourced ingredients. The girls behind the bar (who all happen to be beautiful, friendly and helpful – so I’m guessing the juice works, right?) anyway, they introduced me to the benefits of Blue Magik Algae and Moringa. Since I hadn’t tried either in my previous juice concoctions, I went with the Avatar, Shine On and Sexy Baby Maker (because why not) and all three were super.

Anuenue Café was right next door, and was the only spot open for breakfast on New Year’s Day, so we gave it a shot. I’m not sure if it was that crowded because of New Year’s or if it’s always that packed (assuming the latter) but it was worth the hour wait. I was greeted by the friendly owner who rocked my world when she had me order the Rip Tide (Eggs Benedict with Kalua Pork) and also had me get some Haupia Macadamia Nut French Toast on the side (twist my arm but again, in between Six Week courses, so game on).

Since my life isn’t JUST about finding great food, I wanted to get out there and explore everything that the South Shore had to offer. We went big on day two and set out with Mauna Loa Helicopters to see the island. Bruno, our happy Brazilian pilot, took us all over beautiful Kauai and kept us entertained with his music and commentary for the entire hour. We decided to go “doors off” and I would HIGHLY recommend it as you get more of an adventure, the best unobstructed views and most importantly there is no glare in your selfie game.

There were tons of great options for helicopter tours in Kauai, but I picked Mauna Loa because they were the only ones that offered the two seater planes/private ride – and let’s be real, I don’t like to share my toys. Since 90% of the island is only visible by air, and you definitely don’t want to miss Na Pali Coast, Jurassic Falls, Waimea Canyon and Mt. Waiale’ale Crater from up top, make this a top priority if you are visiting the island. It was unbelievable and hands down my favorite experience in Kauai.

A close second was the kayak/hike/waterfall swim that I did with Ancient River Kayaks. You do a tandem 2-mile kayak ride on the Wailua River. (Fun fact: Wailua River is the original home to the very first Hawaiians.) After the beautiful 2-mile kayak, you have about 1.2(ish) miles of hiking through the rain forest in search of your half-way point destination: Secret Falls. This is a 120-foot waterfall into a natural pool, and though it was on the “brisk” side, taking a dip in and behind the waterfall was such a cool experience. We took a break at the falls for some lunch (provided by them) and we got to learn more about our awesome tour guide Annie. Huffington Post featured her in an article and my favorite quote from that (which rings true for most people that I met in Kauai) “I’m so rich here. I mean, I don’t have a lot of money but my quality of life is abundant. I get to do what I love every day and my heart is so full.”

Side note: once you finish the return hike and kayak back, you should definitely head over next door to Lava Lava Beach Club on Waikoloa Beach. This is the perfect spot to grab some beers (I was hooked on Wailua Wheat– great golden ale with a passionfruit flavor) and you can even watch some highlights of your favorite sports team losing to USC ...sigh.

We did the obligatory luau and chose the Grand Hyatt Luau on NYE. I was told the Hyatt and Smith’s were the two best luaus on the island and this one did not disappoint (though I’ve never been to any other luaus so I can’t compare). It was neat to see the rich history of the island and its local people, and they had performances/tributes for all of the “relative” islands (Samoa, New Zealand, Tahiti). Since we had a birthday in the house, we were selected to go up with a few people to learn how to hula in front of everyone. I failed pretty miserably at this. However, where I didn’t fail is the all-you-can-eat buffet. Our host told us that we would fall in love at a luau …and I did …. with Kalua Pork. As I mentioned with my world being rocked at Anuenue (the day after this luau happened) this pork tasted beyond delish. Click here for a recipe (Six Week allowed) which includes three ingredients: pork butt, natural liquid smoke (make sure no molasses added) and Hawaiian sea salt. Pop those bad boys into a slow cooker for 7-12 hours and you will fall in love too.

Once I was done eating all of their food, I of course wanted to see some fireworks on NYE. I was laughed at when I asked if the fireworks went off at midnight, to which the reply was “oh honey, the entire island is asleep by 9 – fireworks are at 8.” So we capped off NYE with some early fireworks over Poipu Beach and went to bed like the rest of the island … at 9pm. Cue 2017.

To cap off the South Shore adventure, we decided to go surfing on the last day. There is no shortage of surf schools in Kauai but we stumbled upon Kauai Surf School. It was a picture perfect day in Poipu and the baby waves by the surf school were perfect for my beginner skills. Asher was our instructor for the day, and he obliged when I asked him to pretty please just push me right into each wave for two hours so I could easily stand up and feel like a stud on my board - thanks Asher. I was gaining major confidence with my surfing ability and felt ready to try out the North Shore surf as we were heading to Hanalei the following day. FAIL. To read more on the episode of Susie vs Surf Board, check out Part II of my Kauai blog.

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