#he's the only person except a one night stand i severley regret who's slept over at my house. He's the only person I trust to | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

freckleslikestars · 1 month ago

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Hi, genuine question, real serious:

What do you do when your best friend, the guy you've worked with for 3 and 1/2 of the last four years, tries to kiss you two days before he catches a flight half way across the world?

The guy you spent a year and a half crushing on and not doing anything, before realising that you loved him as a friend.

The guy who dated your closest other friend for a year, before she fucked him over?

The guy who you've slept at the foot of the bed of, you've shared a bed with, you've gotten blind drunk with and gone to concerts with and done everything that the closest of people do together with.

The guy you worked together in the most hostile workplace with.

The guy who lost his job for you.

The guy who's just given you 3 entire crates of his vinyl collection.

The guy who says "i don't share food" and "i don't like finishing drinks" but automatically shares food and drink, and automatically offers you the dregs of whatever you have left.

The guy who tells you he loves you, and has tried to kiss you four times now, and has told you you're the only person he cares about?

What do you do when he drunkenly tries to kiss you two days before he catches a flight across the world, with plans never to return?

#he offered me his bed if I ever scrape together the money to come visit him.#He tried to kiss me in front of my two bosses and my manager #he told me that i was the only person in his life that mattered #and the fact that i told him he was making a mistake when he tried to kiss me either tells you how gay i am #how cognisant i was that my boss was watching (I wasn't aware)#or how much i'm not into him (despite how gay i am i'm into him. he's the only person other than my dad who matters to me. I love him.#I want him to hold me and want me. I want his parents to like me.)#Ughhhhhhhhhh I hate that i pushed him away. I know that when I'm sober I'm not into him. I know that if I had done something I'd both #regret it and regret that he's leaving the country in two days.#why do I live in a fucking sitcom with people shipping me and my best friend #oh have i mentioned that everyone in our lives #including his ex and my collegues and my ex #thought we were dating and confused when we said we weren't. because aparently we act like we're dating.#he's the only person except a one night stand i severley regret who's slept over at my house. He's the only person I trust to #I fucking hate this #I hate that he's leaving. I love that he get's to go exactly where he wants to be I love that he gets to be exactly who he wants to be #i hate that I can't directly see this of him.#i hate that i can't be there for it #I hate that we cant go through the next however many years of life together like we have the last 3 1/2 #ugh why does my life feel like a fucking sitcom half the time.

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