#he's such a fascinating character to explore and I swear I get more obsessed every time

[privilegedjester]

hey 86 fans especially Vika fans I just posted the first chapter of a (hopefully) collection of oneshots focusing on Vika's relationships with the other characters because he Fascinates me beyond explanation!! so :> if you're interested maybe you want to check it out?

[aerialflight]

fic rec list (in other words, i need a list for my neurotic brain and its obsessions, f me)

Yeah, everything said above. also, the deadpool and wolverine brainrot is real. i only watched it a week ago. nfeiwofpewafe.

-

[Deadpool and Wolverine] (i'm still desperately searching for more. i just need a list for the ones that won't leave me alone fyufivuohbjl)

How To Pay For Rent 💸 by fictionfeast

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson (i still can't believe this is the ship name, they actually put worst wolverine as a specification. it's such a unique dynamic and relationship that we NEED that differentiation. amazing.)

To pay for rent, Logan and Wade take odd jobs on Craigslist.

(listen, LISTEN. just from the fact craiglist is involved, you KNOW it's gonna be off the walls crack and hilarity. i swear, this fic went in directions i never in a million years would've predicted, it's amazing. the voices for these characters are impeccable and i, too, would like to shake deadpool like a snowglobe so some goddamn honestly will barf out. logan, you have my sympathies. please read, i'm literally going insane.)

shattered glass by anarkissed

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

At first, Wade is pretty sure it all starts with the bullet- the one Logan had held in his teeth and spit out like it was a prize. Or maybe it starts in the Honda Odyssey. Or maybe it had started way back with Logan's smile. That first sardonic one when they'd met. Or maybe it's the way Logan is always staring at him. Or maybe- "I think you're enjoying this too much." "Maybe you're not enjoying it enough." It’s more bite than kiss, more claim than caress, but it’s their mouths connecting all the same, and Wade gasps, hoarsely, as blood wells up from his lips and Logan tongues it away like it’s his god-given right. Oh, oh oh, oh- he’s crazy. He’s so crazy. Wade has never wanted anyone so badly in his entire life. Wade tries to figure out where whatever he has with Logan started. (And he's kind of hoping he never has to see how it ends.)

Part 1 of dying engine (poolverine/deadclaws)

(i'm not fucking kidding when i say this is my favorite d&w fic. i want to gnaw this in my mouth and develop vampire canines as i sharpen them every fucking reread. there are passages here that i reread like a fucking lunatic and i use the find in page option for the word 'crazy' just so i can go to my favorite part. and the fact there's a freaking part 2? that has logan's pov in it??? and it makes me feel just as unhinged??? it makes me want to go apeshit. please read. for the love of god.)

how easy you are to need by Patricia_Sage

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

Wade smiles when the doctor opens the door. "Hi, we have a vet appointment at 2:00. Please tell me he doesn't have rabies because I have been scratched and bitten plenty." *** Logan gets treatment for adamantium poisoning. Wade helps.

Part 2 of he has risen, babygirl

(i fucking CACKLED reading this, omfg. also, wade's version of helping is both sweet and freaking hilarious, i love this idiot so much. and this fic! addresses the fact logan probably has ptsd medical trauma and i love that. it's hardly ever addressed and i appreciate how it's shown here. also, it's a series! part 1 is great too, you don't need to read it to understand part 2 though, dw.)

Void by RovingOtter

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

After a week without contact, Logan leaves Wade a weird voicemail.

(i'm religiously checking in on this for updates. i know the summary doesn't say anything, so i'll say it here. logan becomes aware of the fourth wall and it's so fascinating??? a genuine look on what happens if the wolverine becomes aware that he's a fictional character and the exploration of that premise here is *chefs kiss* delicious. and how wade reacts to it and how they both deal with the aftermath of this development is so interesting and god, i NEED to know how this fic will go. genuinely one of those fics that have a premise i've never thought about before and it's GLORIOUS!)

where soul meets body by Edgebug

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

"I'll probably see you around?" "Probably not," Logan says, something in his spine still shaking even now, and Wade looks at him with those huge dark eyes that look--hurt, maybe, heartbroken, and Logan knows he has to get up and leave before he can't. Each step is agony increasing, the thing in his spine trembling ever-harder and then Wade calls his name and he stops, turns, sees those eyes again; pleading, desperate. A rush of emotion slams into his hindbrain, it feels half foreign and half his own; don't do this can't do this without you please stay please stay stay stay stay let me stay stay stay "Come home with me," Wade blurts out, and Logan finds that he's taken steps toward Wade without realizing it, closing the yawning gap between them, and the thing in his spine relaxes just a little. "Okay," he says. (In which something very interesting happens underneath the Time Ripper, and Wade and Logan deal with the aftermath.)

(they vulcan mind melded and now can't live without the other. i just love this author's writing and i read every one of their d&w fics. i'm in love with their characterization of not just d&w but the rest of the cast as well! and the banter and genuinely fun interactions between d&w has me kicking my feet and giggling like a school girl. please read, i totally recommend this fic and the rest of the author's other fics XD)

your fool in this game for two by abillionstars

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

“Have you ever lived with anyone before?” At Wade’s question, Logan pauses to think. Scratches his balls for a second, and says, “I lived at Xavier’s school for a while, before I left. Lived in a clapboard boarding house about seventy years back. A couple of times, I slept in a park with other people nearby. Do those count?” “That was a rhetorical question,” says Wade. “Some might even call it an accusatory one. Mostly because—dude. I’m a fucking mess. But you’re even worse.” (two loser loners, falling in love.)

(this is crack. the peak of romance, the very height of big squishy feelings. it's perfect. god, i am utterly trash for this fic, it's so fucking good fnewiofpew)

Love You All Over by FinelyDressedSpacemen

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

The bad guys have love spells now, apparently. Logan gets nailed. Wade tries not to. With great power over your sexiest friend comes great emotional responsibility.

(where wade tries his best to respect logan and logan makes this, so freaking hard for him lmao. lovesick logan is truly the most flirty version of wolverine and it's incredible. it's like if hugh jackman himself is trying to romance the shit out of you. wade really is the stronger person, incredible. anyway, this was a joy to read and if you like musicals, this is definitely for you <3)

I'm the worst at what I do by Thestarvedghost

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

Logan finds out from Wade after everything is said and done, universes saved and friends met, that most hims across the multiverse have some sort of memory issue, one way or another. Logan wishes he was that fucking lucky. He remembers it all.

Part 1 of No end and no beginning

(i recommend this entire series, the progression on d&w's relationship has me singing! it's so sweet and fluffy! well, as fluffy as 2 murderous, self-hating bastards can be anyway lol.)

-

[Dimension 20] (Fantasy High, A Court of Fey and Flowers, A Crown of Candy)

interchange by fangirl_squee

Fandom: Fantasy High

Oh, the Bad Kids? Yeah, in that group they have [checks notes] a pirate cleric, a goblin bard, a Helioic fighter, an elven barbarian, a tiefling rogue, and a half-orc wizard.

(it's so interesting how different yet the same the bad kids are even with their class changes. man, the idea of fabian being a freaking cleric still makes me want to cackle. he'd be so much more Exasperated by the bad kids, especially freshman fabian X'D. also barbarian adaine has my whole fucking heart.)

yeah you held me the whole way through, when i couldn’t say the words like you by zedif_y

Fandom: Fantasy High

Ship: Riz Gukgak/Fabian Aramais Seacaster

When Fabian is ten, his Papa tells him the story of how he married his mother. It’s a gory tale, one that involves a cut eye and bodies hitting the deck. He tells Fabian of a love that sent him to his knees, that leads a man like him– fearsome and powerful, the greatest pirate to ever live– to start a family. A love that gave him Fabian. --- A study on Fabian, grief, and, ultimately— love.

(an exploration on fabian's idea of what love is. god, it's so well written. i love this fic and absolutely recommend it! <3)

white knuckles by thathastu

Fandom: Fantasy High

Ships: Fabian/everyone (but all unrequited)

His ex-fling’s little sister. Two people in committed relationships who also happen to be in the same mega famous rock band. A heartbroken lesbian who doesn’t want to be involved with men in any way. And Riz fucking Gukgak. Fabian Aramais Seacaster, son of Bill Seacaster, finds himself falling for all of his friends.

(seeing the bad kids through fabian's eyes made me realize why the bad kids would be considered attractive to people who know them! it's so sweet how much fabian cares and pays attention to them and the constant feeling of 'oh no oh no' both made me want to laugh and coo at him lmao)

life in a wallflower garden with my friends by sickoflosiingsoulmates for lesbiansweetflips

Fandom: Fantasy High

Ship: Ayda Aguefort/Figueroth Faeth

This is what Ayda has spent her entire life searching after. This is what she built the friendship section in the library in hopes of, what she spent long, lonely nights dreaming of. A night with a friend, a true friend, laughing and talking about nothing in particular. [or, ayda finds friends in the bad kids]

(ayda has friends! ayda has frieeenndss!! i'm so so in love with her and this fic is so fluffy and sweet! gah, instant shot of endorphins, guarantee!)

allies and fealty, or, on finding the first knight of the new Court of Craft by fangirl_squee

Fandom: A Court of Fey and Flowers

Ship: Binx Choppley/Captain K. P. Hob

The enemy of my enemy is kind of my friend. Or something.

(i'm always a sucker for rare pairs and man, this is something i didn't even know i wanted. i love how slowly and carefully they build trust in each other, especially binx who is so secretive and initiated this relationship in the first place. by the end, i completely bought this ship and the potential for it.)

I've walked a fragile line and I've fallen down by jadeandquartz

Fandom: A Crown of Candy

Anger is burning in Lapin’s chest. It is bitter, and it is bloody, and it shines brighter than any Bulb the church might care to invent. Normally, he leaves his emotions be. He cannot afford to let feelings drive him forwards. Remaining logical is the only safe way to play the game of politics - and if you do not play it safe, you die. And if you die, then what was the point? But nothing about their predicament is normal. So, fuck playing the game safely. Fuck that. The world will not play safe with the lives of those he loves. *** In which Belizabeth Brassica is looking for a heretic, and Lapin confesses to his apostasy to protect the House of Rocks.

(one of the first crown of candy fics i read and i never looked back. lapin survive stories makes me so feral and god i love this cantankerous bunny so so much fnewiofewp)

to leave this all behind (halo round his head) by grumpyhedgehogs

Fandom: A Crown of Candy

Lapin blinks slowly at Brassica as she steps up to the bars of his cell, the guards splitting around her like so much water over a stone. He inclines his head, trying for regal and probably failing. “Heretic.” Her voice grates against his eardrums. “You have awakened.” “Zealot. You haven’t killed me.” Lapin replies, dry.

(another, much longer fic where lapin survives and i'm so in love with how much detail and fantastic characterization this fic has, not just for lapin but for the whole cast! the day i stop loving the lapin survives trope is the day i die.)

-

[The Terror] (yeah, i know, extremely random, and yet here we are. it's due to this animatic here that i was introduced to this show in the first place. def recommend both the show and this artist *thumbs up*)

I'll be Homeward Bound in Time by clandestinegardenias

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

Back in the Arctic, stuffed two to a sleeping sack and trying to keep each other alert, he and James used to name every good type of thing they would eat when they got back, knowing–as they thought–the time would never come. 'Cream puffs', James had sighed one frigid night in a partial feverish delirium. Francis could hardly see him but for the lightest starlight, yet he had heard the smile evident in his voice all the same. That close, he had nearly felt it. --- Hailed as heroes on their miraculous return to England, Francis and James fail to cope, but nonetheless manage to fall together.

(i love how warm they are here, how clearly these two depend on one another and find joy despite the fact london is trying it's best to stamp out this closeness. post-rescue is always such an interesting time where they get to reflect and be traumatized by what happened in the arctic and the lack of understanding that is found when they go home. it's done so well here and man, i just love these two together. the ship that sails their ships lmao)

death is a sailing ship by Maleann

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

"James had died knowing that his heart, the core of his very being that no biographer would ever know, would carry on in Francis Crozier. Would be protected, cherished even, because Francis deemed him worthy of such care. Oh, how he had loved Francis then. He had been at peace with this being his last living thought. It’s his only thought now. In this undead life, his love has nowhere to go."  ___ James Fitzjames wakes up in the Afterlife. It looks strangely similar to his cabin on Erebus. (Updated with amazing artwork by Marella!)

(the fic is so!! kind!!! to all its characters! and fitzjames is in full form here, i love how it's him that's trying so hard to take care of his men, despite sir john and his lack of empathy. to have fitzjames damn what is proper and trying to do his best as always even in the freaking afterlife, god. you can just see how much fitzjames changed from the beginning of the show to his end in this fic. how all the characters changed, really. every character here is given room to heal and face the consequences of their actions and there were moments that it seriously made me cry. this is my fave fic in this entire list, it just does an amazing job of showing compassion to all its characters and i love it.)

there but for the grace of- by TheGoodDoctor

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

“I wish you would stop being such a martyr,” a languid voice says quietly, drawling as well as a man can with two missing molars and a glassy, bloodshot eye, leaking all the while from open chest wounds. Francis is rather impressed with his dedication to the role, somewhere under the roil of fury and exhaustion. “You know as well as I do that you could have this bed sometimes, if it didn’t suit you to stomp about with blacked eyes and a put-upon expression.” “And what should we do with you all the while, Commander,” he says, all on a great sigh, “wrap you in sailcloth already? Come, man, you’re either well enough to cease bleeding on my sheets or too ill to get out of them, you can’t have it both ways.” “Francis,” Ross began, “I did not undertake to accept the position of second on Franklin’s expedition for you, as you asked.”

(this fic scratched a brain itch i didn't even know i had. it's so interesting to think about, the idea of crozier not being on the expedition and instead being the person who rescues them instead. fitzjames and crozier actually developing a relationship based on this premise, without the shared trauma, is so so intriguing to me and i wish i had more of this. also, the fact crozier is so much more mentally healthier than canon due to ross makes me want to laugh and cry. god, if only.)

out of the sea came he, still hid in mist by dazydaisy for shortcrust

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

You make bargains you cannot keep. You make promises you plan to break. You give things that are not yours to give.

(a haunting, magical realism fic that feels like a gothic fairy tale. exactly my kind of fic! and if it's yours? definitely a good read *thumbs up*)

At Civil Twilight by lieutenant_iceberg

“Well,” said Francis. “Jopson, will you see what you can do with this three-year-old peace offering? A cup for each of us, and one for you.” “Sir,” said Jopson, collecting one of the bags. “You’ll be up all night if you take coffee now.” “I’ll be up all night anyway. Go, Jopson, go.” When he was gone, Francis got up from the table, and they stared into the depths of the bag together. Finally, Francis cleared his throat and said, “All right, then, James. How have you fared since I hit you?” A few days after Carnivale, Crozier and Fitzjames make a faltering attempt to talk things over.

Part 1 of Civil Twilight

(oooh, the very start of their friendship! how to make peace when their entire relationship is based on animosity and contempt! the dialogue and characterization of these two in this series is so good and i absolutely recommend!)

rebuilding by wildcard_47 for 20thcenturyvole

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

Once they stepped ashore, a fey dark-haired man burst through the crowd a few heads down from Jane Franklin. When Fitzjames saw his brother, he startled, and when Will surged forward in the first press of the crowds around the returned—elfin face wet with tears as he swept James into a fierce embrace—only then did Fitzjames release his grip on Francis’s arm. Only then did Francis feel as if he could step away at last. Written for the 2023 Fall Fitzier Exchange, for the prompt: "Post-canon AU where, once they get home, Crozier and Fitzjames are riddled with guilt and trauma, and deal with their feelings by throwing themselves into caring for the surviving men..."

(i'm always so fascinated by post-rescue stories that actually deal with the aftermath, the logistics of it all. how the characters struggle to handle their own traumas, how they help one another through their experiences, all of it. and how both crozier and fitzjames step up for their men even now, even when they're no longer captains in the arctic and have to deal with london and all it's trappings. this fic handles all that so very well, i love it <3)

As Bullet Speaks to Gun by pointyshades

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames, Thomas Jopson/Edward Little

Against all odds, they are rescued. Cornelius Hickey is court-martialed for his mutiny, and the whole mess of the expedition is unfurled in front of the public. With their names being dragged through the mud, Francis Crozier and James Fitzjames reach out to each other. Meanwhile, Thomas Jopson seeks revenge for what he believes is his captain's betrayal, and Edward Little tries to come to terms with the truth.

(yes!! edward little my beloved gets to shine here! and jopson is so bitter and angry and messy, it's great! again, i love fics that tackle what would happen post-rescue and how london would react to it. the trials, both actual and mental, they have to face in order to move on and be happy (oh please oh please) is handled expertly and i love it! crozier/fitzjames ship is a little more background in this fic compared to jopson/little, but honestly? i'm so sucked into the latter ship that it doesn't matter. both ships are written very well here and again, my beloved edward little is glorious in this fic and i love it! you go edward! woohoo!!!)

Principles of Magnetism (a Comedy of Manners) by acaramelmacchiato

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

The one where they're married but it's still Victorian times and also it's an accident.

(you don't understand, this fic is so fucking funny. it's so goddamn victorian and sir john is so jane-austen-silly-characters coded. i want to both shake his hand for making this premise happen in the first place, and punch him in his punchable face. and crozier is perfectly characterized here, i can visually picture his disgruntled expressions so clearly in my mind, it's incredible.)

Thaw by orphan_account

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames, Past Captain Francis Crozier/Sophia Cracroft

Courteous, charming Fitzjames, whittled down to maturity by the North, and being there, very obviously, not as Francis's right-hand man or as his comrade, but as his mate; a soulmate. Sophia had no need to look at Francis’s face, at the discoloration that would have turned one of his blue eyes into the good-coffee brown of Fitzjames's, to know it, so blatant and luminous a thing it was.

Part 1 of A Victorian Soulmate AU

(very interesting fic where one can choose their soulmates, choose who they want to bond with for life. and the fact it's sophia's pov and how she deals with this fact is handled so carefully and full of goodwill. it makes me want to applaud. i love how clear it is that they're grown ass adults willing to discuss and make peace with one another because they're all genuinely good people who want happiness both for others and themselves. this fic feels like a flower that you hold in your hands to admire it's beauty and delicacy.)

And It Is Now, And It Is Here by 20thcenturyvole, pointyshades

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

Before the ships are trapped in the ice, James Fitzjames sees a terrible vision of the future, a harbinger of his own death. Before the ships are trapped in the ice, Francis Crozier is visited by a tender apparition, an angel wearing James Fitzjames' face. They are both seeing the same vision. Whether they can heed its warning is another matter entirely.

(when the ghost of your future haunts you, you better believe it changes to the plot. i love the dichotomy of how crozier and fitzjames reacts to ghost fitzjames! it's so interesting and i was on the edge of my seat the entire time i read this. if you want to know how it all ends, please read! i promise this fic is a ride you want to get on.)

Waistcoats! or, Life Before the Passage by sadsparties

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames, Lady Ann Ross/Sir James Clark Ross, Lt Henry T. D. Le Vesconte/Original Character

Commander James Fitzjames of the Royal Navy is the Best Man that a best friend could ever ask for. A chance meeting forces him to share his arctic expedition duties with one Captain Francis R. M. Crozier, and perhaps other duties as well.

(listen, the terror is a horror show and i both want and need lighthearted fics in order to deal with all the horrors lol. but seriously, this fic was genuinely just fun to read and i love the banter and slowly developing friendship and relationship between crozier and fitzjames! truly the romantic comedy fic in this fandom. XD)

[bluephoeniximagines]

Things Boyfriend!Dabi would do when you’re at home together

Hello i am a new Writer :) My first official Post. So be nice :) Disclaimer:English is not my first Language, I do not own the Character, This contains some 18+ content I hope your enjoy!

Things Boyfriend!Dabi would do when you’re at home together

- there is nothing better for Dabi, then coming home to his special someone, to you.  

-  craving your attention, dabi would sit with you and demand what’s his. Your touch, and full attention. But in return, you’ll always get his attention and care.

- Would ask if you had a meal while he was away. If not, he would lecture you on and on, about how important food is and that you can´t just skip meals. Orders some Take out for the two of you.

- Smalltalk isn´t his best suit. He´s more someone on the touchy side to show that he cares. So if he forgets to ask, don’t be too upset. You’re his first real relationship. Just give him time, he tries hard. Asking how your day was, what you did. If something happened.

- Dabi would definitely play with your hair, your head in his Lap. He loves to just feel your hair. His Eyes never leave your face. Waiting to see that soft smile you always give him.  

- Is obsessed with you. And I mean it. Can´t keep his hands to himself. Always has his hand on your thigh or on your Back, under your Shirt, in your pants. Sometimes just to calm himself. But to be honest mostly to tease you.

-Biggest tease you ever meet. And 24/7 horny. Would take every chance he gets. To tease you and fuck you. Loves to make his Hands Hot while you’re at it. He only leaves little marks on your thighs or butt. Never Leaves Scars tho. Nothing to Painful. Just absolutely love to mark you as his.

- He cuddles up on you. His arms around you, his big hands on your head or neck. Kissing is new for him. The other loose contacts that he had in the past, he never kissed. He explores a lot. Kissing you soft or hard, with love or with passion. With tongue. He Savours every touch and every kiss.

- Watching Tv with you is pure Bliss. To see how fascinated or excited you are. He always pulls you to his chest while watching, his fingers tangled in with yours.

- Holds you when your Upset and listen to your rants always, more patient than expected.

- Sometimes he whispers soft “I love you”. Almost to quiet to hear. You know he does. And you always whisper “Love you too” back. But he has a hard time to express what he really wants to tell you. So most of the time this soft spoken declarations of love is all you get.

- The only Time he will really talk about how he feels, and what´s in his heart is when he thinks your asleep.

Your snuggled up to him, your breath is deep and calm. The room is dark his arms are wrapped around you. Protective and surprisingly gentle. As you drift in and out of sleep. You hear his voice deep, gentle, and raw of feeling. “You are my everything, I will never let you go.” His embrace gets even tighter. “Baby I never had someone like you…” His breath catches. He needs to say it. But he is too scared you would push him away if he ever would say it when you’re awake. You love him, you always return his declarations of love. But he is so insecure inside. He just seems so confident on the outside. What if he pours his Heart out to you and you leave him? That why he lays here, in the shelter of night whispering sweet nothings in your direction. “I will always protect you and love you…I love your smile. Please never stop smiling at me…” your half-awake now listening to him. And your Heart aches for him. His Hands are clenched in your sweater. His Voice sounds so utterly desperate that he never tells you when you’re awake. You lay your hand on his cheek already half-asleep again, drifting back into sleep. He freezes. But you just mumble a soft “I love you too…” he pulls you to him kissing your Head. Sometime in the Future he swears he will tell you everything his Heart holds.

taglist: @aphroditemushroom​

[inkykeiji]

hello, bby💞💞 i absolutely ADORE everything u write, ur insanely talented!! I wanted to ask, you’ve mentioned several pieces of art, precisely songs and films, that have inspired ur work; could u give us some music and movie recommendations that have similar vibe to some of ur fics??? Thank u in advance, I hope u have an incredible day/evening, lysm💓💞💖

THIS QUESTION OOOOOOOH YES ANON YES okay okay first of all, thank you so much!!!! i appreciate that a lot <333 YES i love film so much hehehe <3 my music recommendations are pretty much the same as they always are. the films i’m recommending here; i’m not exactly sure if they have a similar vibe to my fics as i’ve found it difficult to find many films that fit that criteria, but here’s a nice huge list of films that have influenced my main series’, and how!!

beware!! very long post under the cut hehehe AND POTENTIAL SPOILERS FOR BMB IF YOU KNOW THE FILMS HEHEHEHEHE

𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬

the godfather, part 1 + part 2

AAAAAAAAH okay, literally one of my favourite films of all time, the godfather (+ the godfather pt 2) is a fucking masterpiece. tomura’s close relationship with his father was both inspired by bnha itself as well as michael corleone’s relationship with his father, vito. michael is the golden child even though he’s the youngest, and i love love love how cold and ruthless he can be!!! he’s also super smart.

goodfellas

listen. if henry hill from goodfellas and michael corleone from the godfather had a baby, it would be tomura. he’s slightly more henry than he is michael, but his characterization pulls from both of these characters!! henry is fun, he’s reckless, he’s young, he feels like a god and he loves cocaine. henry also becomes very paranoid, a path with tomura is currently speeding down (albeit much more intensely, with legitimate mental health issues, but you get it). i also love the subtle ‘mafia princess’ trope goodfellas has going on with henry’s wife, karen (that scene where she says she’s going shopping and asks him for money, and he takes out that massive wad of cash?????? brilliant, one of my faves hehehe). henry also has some difficulty dealing with his emotions!!

narcos season 1 + 2

k, i can’t say too much about how this incredible show inspired bmb; i kind of feel like listing it is already giving away too much hehehe BUT i love the pure POWER pablo exudes, and i love his relationship with his wife and how family oriented he is.

scarface (both the original 1932 version and the 1983 version)

WOOOOOOOOOO OKAY. for the 1983 film: cocaine my friends. cocaine and violence and toxic relationships!!!!!!!  i kind of love elvira hancock more than anything else; she’s so glamorous and fun and just aaaaah she’s definitely not as ‘baby’ or ‘good girl’ as bmb!reader is, but her sheer class and cute dresses and just how SPOILED she is reminds me a lot of bmb! for both 1932 + 1983: tony’s relationship with his sister, gina (which tbh borders on incest). gina’s another one of those ‘mafia princess’ types, and tony is extremely overprotective of her and spoils her like mad, too. she’s also fits that ‘good girl’ archetype a lot more!!

reservoir dogs

purely the violence. the violence the violence the violence, the crude and crass way the men talk to each other, and the fact that they’re like a lil organized crime group put together by a boss. i am IN LOVE (IN LOVEEEEEEEE) with mr blonde (aka vic vega <333). mr blonde’s extreme sadism reminds me quite a bit of both dabi and tomura, and he’s even referenced in the lil torture piece i wrote!! also, you literally cannot tell me that vic wouldn’t spoil the absolute HELL out of his good lil princess if he had one <3

(not a film, but!!!!!) hamlet

break my bones is very very very loosely based on hamlet (which is my favourite story of all time. literally. i love hamlet so much i can’t even put it into words); with tomura as hamlet, dabi as a mixture of horatio and laertes, and reader as ophelia. hamlet, my precious baby, is a spoiled fucking brat, who loved his father and was loved by his father. he’s also very intelligent, but falls prey to his indecisiveness and his inability to make decisions, in addition to the rapid decay of his mental health. that’s all i’ll say hehehe

baby driver

the relationship between baby + debora reminds me of the relationship between dabi and reader a lot <333 i also just love the aesthetic of this film, and the undercurrents of organized crime!!

the shining

just a teeny tiny bit; i cannot say anything about this or i think it’ll give something away!!!!!

burning

trios!!!!! trios!!!!!!!!!!!!and the relationship dynamic between jong-su, hae-mi and ben??????? absolutely incredible and reminds me quite a bit of the dynamic between tomura, dabi + reader!!

𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐀𝐔 (𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐞) + 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐲𝐚-𝐧𝐢𝐢

i’m grouping these two together, because a lot of their influences overlap in terms of dabi + reader’s relationship!!! (i’m pretty sure we can all agree that touya-nii is so fucking Daddy, too <3)

true romance

i fucking love this movie, so so so much. i’d go as far to say that clarence and alabama’s relationship has without a doubt inspired or influenced every single romantic relationship i’ve written in at least some way, shape, or form. i LOVE them. i love their co-dependency on each other, i love their whole ‘it’s you and me against the world’ vibe, and i love how far they’re willing to go for each other. also, again, organized crime (no surprise), and alabama is just the cutest fucking thing i swear to god. that scene of her + virgil in the hotel room will forever be one of my absolute FAVOURITE scenes in cinematic history. i would die for this woman i love her more than anything. she’s so cute yet so strong, so brave, so IN LOVE, and aaaah that is just one of my favourite characteristics ever ever ever. i love women who are soft and strong at the same time, even if that strength isn’t physical.

sid and nancy

hello to one of the most famous toxic relationships ever!!! honestly, i don’t think i have to explain this one much LMAO. obviously my readers aren’t as hardcore as nancy and almost always fall into the ‘innocent good girl’ category, but their RELATIONSHIP itself reminds me quite a bit of the relationship between touya-nii and his princess <3

bonnie and clyde (1967)

ahahaha yet again, another very toxic, very co-dependent type of love. like clarence and alabama, i love how these two are literally willing to die for each other—they’d go straight to the ends of the earth for one another, no questions asked. this type of love is extremely unhealthy, obviously, but it’s something i am extremely fascinated with and love exploring in my work! also, that whole ‘fuck the world let’s commit crimes together’????? very tag you’re it dabi x reader!!!

pulp fiction

more specifically, the relationship between mia and vincent. the sexual tension there is fucking crazy, and i love how mia is yet again one of those ‘mafia princess’ types. really, this film applies to bmb as well, but i’m putting it here because the way vincent gets so so SO soft for mia reminds me of the way touya-nii and dabi in these two series in particular get soft for their readers. also, to a lesser extent, the relationship between butch and fabienne. i know a lot of people don’t like fabienne and get annoyed with her, but i think she’s just the cutest thing and i heavily relate to her and her babie/crybaby nature <3 and of course, the relationship between pumpkin and honeybunny (for tag you’re it especially!) <33

breathless (a bout de souffle)

there’s just something about michel that reminds me of touya-nii SO much. i think it’s a combination of his attitude as well as his petty life of crime, and the way patricia hides him in her apartment...i don’t know, it’s difficult for me to put into words, but i love him a lot <3

𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤

the joker + harley quinn: i feel like this is so obvious LMAO but i’m obsessed with the idea of that all consuming voracious love that borders on serious obsession. extremely possessive socio/psychopath and his dumb lil baby????? yes <3 (**i also wanna make a note to say that harley isn’t dumb AT ALL, but J will often insult her in such a way, and sometimes the men who write her portray her as such as well >.> but harley is one of my favourite female characters ever. i LOVE how girly and fun she is while still being extremely strong and (sometimes, depending on the version) independent. she isn’t without flaws, and i love how her mr j is basically her kryptonite <3)

speaking of batman, bruce wayne: what can i say, i just love spoiled rich men who have serious issues dealing with their emotions and walk the line of good and evil <33333

anakin skywalker/darth vader: listen, anakin was seriously slighted by those prequel films. but underneath all of that bad writing, at his core, anakin is a fantastic character. he is SO strongly governed by his emotions and is extremely selfish, and his love for his wife and family is ultimately what leads him down the path to the dark side <3 his emotionally charged motivations remind me a lot of CANON dabi!!!

thelma and louise: i just love their relationship, like, a lot hehehe. their relationship and the ending of this film reminds me a lot of my snowman & me; just yet again that whole ‘it’s you and me or it’s death’ type thing.

the darjeeling limited: it should be obvious at this point that i love trios, and i love complex characters and the relationships that come along with them. the relationship between the whitman brothers, the dysfunctional family, the truama and sadness...i love it all. this film is absolutely beautiful and really doesn’t connect much to my work other than the character dynamics, but i love it so dearly.

mad men: again, those misogynistic toxic relationships and the dependency betty has on don for the first few seasons!! also my god, the aesthetic, i am obsessed.

twin peaks: this hasn’t shown up too much in the work i’ve posted on my blog just yet, but i’m head over heels in love with the dreamy unsettling feeling that saturates this entire series, as well as the drugs and crime. also dale is my baby, protect him with everything <3

blade runner (both films): for city aesthetic

suckerpunch: an absolutely awful film but also one of my guilty pleasures, purely because i love babydoll so so so so so much <33 again, more for aesthetic than story.

𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐂

honestly, my music recommendations are exactly the same as they are in this post right here. lana del rey, lil peep, chase atlantic + the neighbourhood are the four that i’d say influence my work the most tho, and have the most similar vibe to my stuff!! also, nicole dollanganger is an incredible artist and lyricist, and i’ve been told more than once that my work and her work are quite similar (which i agree!!!). her stuff is hauntingly beautiful, but i have a lot of difficulty listening to it because it hits a little too close to home and makes me cry literally every single time. so please be wary of that, i’m giving a general trigger warning for her because she can get quite dark. but her work is absolutely fantastic, i highly recommend as long as you feel that you can handle it!!! <33

AAAAAH I KNOW I’M MISSING LIKE A MILLION THINGS I SWEAR but these are the films (and tv shows) + artists that readily come to mind!! thank you again for your question anon, i love stuff like this so much and i love discussing films and art hehehe <33

[glassprism]

Since you're also in other fandoms, are there any ships/pairings you like? Who's your favourite pairing in POTO? Who are your favourite characters (from POTO to all your other fandoms) and why? Ooh, here's a rather unusual one: who's your favourite side character (name one for all your fandoms!) and why?

Yeah, definitely! Though whether some can be counted as actual “ships” is debatable, as you’ll see in a bit.

For Phantom, my favorite “ship” is the love triangle - E/C/R. Not in a polyamorous, threesome way, but one where I love the dynamics of the characters, the way they affect one another, the ways Erik and Raoul are similar and different. So it’s not quite a “ship” in a traditional sense where I want characters to end up with each other, but more in the sense that I like to explore and analyze them.

As for other “ships” or pairings, I’m just going to list, like, every fandom or random-ass thing I’ve ever loved in semi-chronological order (time to go back to my middle school fandoms!). Under the cut for length.

Harry Potter: Sirius Black and Harry Potter. I adored the godfather-godson bond between the two (absolutely no romance; I clicked on an mpreg fic of the two when I was but a wee lass of twelve and it scarred me): how Harry was the last living reminder of Sirius’s best friend, whose death he still feels responsible for; how Sirius is the parental figure Harry wanted, how they were never able to be happy god damn it Rowling. (You can imagine how much my eleven year old self cried when I read the fifth book. Oh boy, the tears.)

Star Wars: Vader and Luke. Again, totally familial, father-son relationship only. (Speaking of scarring experiences, I once stumbled on a romance fic between the two, where yes, both of them were still father and son, and I have that summary etched into my brain permanently.) The way Vader obsessively hunts down Luke, the first emotional connection he has had with a person in literal decades! The way Luke has just ached all his life for a father figure, to the point where he will take a homicidal Sith lord if that’s who he is! How he never gives up on trying to redeem him! How Luke is right. Loud screeching.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Will Turner and Bootstrap Bill and Will Turner and Henry Turner. More sad father-son dynamics (you may be noticing a pattern here). Repeat what I said with the Star Wars relationships, only with more pirates and less homicide. (And way more parental abandonment guilt.)

Halloween: Michael Myers and Laurie Strode,  remake universe. Yet again, no romance, just a severely messed-up brother-sister relationship. I can’t begin to tell you why I like the horrific relationship between a serial killer and the little sister he was so obsessed with he ruined her life, completely traumatized her, and ended up leading to her death, but I do. Maybe it’s the dark obsession aspect of it, that in the midst of all his murders, there’s still one person Michael Myers longs to have a connection with, the baby sister who represented total innocence in his mind. Maybe it’s the “what could have been” aspect too, as Laurie never recognizes him or realizes their connection until it’s far too late. Maybe I need to re-examine my life choices. I’ll figure it out someday.

Bat Boy The Musical: Bat Boy/Shelley. Yes, this is a romance; yes, they are half-brother and half-sister, yes, you can get on me about this, but in my defense how about you watch the musical and NOT come out of it shipping these two against all your better instincts.

POTO: E/C/R, as stated above and for all those reasons. Oh, and you know what - The Phantom and Gustave from Love Never Dies. Can’t get away from those father-son ships. I actually care about that relationship than E/C or R/C in LND (maybe because both E/C and R/C suck in the sequel so what else am I going to latch onto).

Batman: Listed here, but my heart really lies with three ships. Jaytim is the first: it’s the whole “angry woobie destroyer of worlds who hates everyone meets seemingly well-adjusted and cheerful individual who is secretly hiding their own issues” dynamic. Bane/Talia from The Dark Knight Rises is the second. Doesn’t matter if it’s familial, friendship, protector and protectee, or romantic, I eat it up, and to be fair, it’s never explicitly stated what the relationship is in the movie. All we know is that the two grew up together in a hellhole prison, probably dependent on and solely trusting only one another, and that bond continues even after they leave, and not even death will make them leave one another. Finally, we have Jason Todd/therapy from the Arkham games. Because the poor guy needs it.

MCU: STEVE/BUCKY (aka Stucky). This ship (again, could be friendship or romantic) dominated my thoughts for four years. Steve’s fish-out-of-water status! Bucky’s horrific imprisonment under Hydra. The way the two find each other after and the angst. The fact that Steve refuses to kill Bucky and, even after seventy years, succeeds in breakthing through to him because their connection runs that deep. The fact that Marvel just ruined this relationship so now I have to rely on fanfic. Oh yes, and I also slowly fell into the Kastle ship (Frank Castle aka The Punisher and Karen Page). Another “hardened killer with sad backstory who connects to idealistic young woman with hidden darkness” dynamic.

Terminator: T-800 aka “Uncle Bob” and John Connor. Returning to sad father-son dynamics, I have this from Terminator 2. A robot learning emotions! A boy learning to take his place as a leader and all-loving hero. The bond they form, partially because the T-800 will do nothing else but protect John and partially because John has no father-figure of his own, so his robot bodyguard will do. THE ENDING.

ASOIAF/GOT: I actually have very few ships from here other than Arya/Gendry (and only when they’re older) and, weirdly, Theon/Sansa from the show. The Gendrya ship is just cute, it may well be the most wholesome ship on here, while Theonsa has shades of Stucky in it, I suppose, given that Theon has been tortured so badly he can barely remember his own name, until Sansa turns up and reminds him enough that he breaks out of it to help her.

Favorite characters from each of those:

Harry Potter: My favorite characters from here are probably more side characters, so I’ll just say Hermione Granger. Her focus on academics, fear of failure, and conviction that the library holds all the answers, felt all too reminiscent of myself.

Star Wars: Darth Vader,  no contest whatsoever. Cool mask, cool cape, cool lightsaber, and the absolute worst life one can imagine.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Interestingly, Will Turner. Yeah, I guess Jack Sparrow is cool and Elizabeth is absolutely awesome to watch and has the greatest change in the series, but oh-so-serious Will, with his deep loyalties and slow slide into moral ambiguity because of those loyalties, fascinates me.

Halloween: Laurie Strode, all versions. My favorite final girl, my survivor of trauma (except in the remake, where, well, she doesn’t survive). Also, her daughter in the Thorn trilogy, Jamie Lloyd, the most tragic little girl to walk across a horror movie screen.

Bat Boy The Musical: Ah, wow, haven’t thought about this. I guess Bat Boy and Shelley, more by default than anything.

POTO: Christine Daae, no contest. Love her character, love her arc, love her songs, love her costumes.

Batman: Listed here.

MCU: Bucky Barnes (unless he counts as a side character), but I also love Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Karen Page, Elektra Natchios... and I’ll leave it at that.

Terminator: John Connor. (There’s a reason I haven’t watched Dark Fate yet... or ever.)

ASOIAF/GOT: Three of them! Daenerys Targaryen, who I love because she tries so hard to rule well, who is so observant and cognizant of the things going on around her. Then Sansa Stark, who makes such astounding growth, who retains her empathy and compassion throughout, who is capable of startling perception and insight which most others underestimate. And finally, Cersei Lannister. She’s terrible. I love her.

And favorite side characters from each of those:

Harry Potter: Sirius Black may well have been my first fictional crush. But Remus Lupin is the kind of person (and teacher) I aspire to be.

Batman: I swear, depending on the comic series or movie, everyone is a side character. I’ll just link to my old ask again.

Star Wars: Batman syndrome all over again; every character in Star Wars might be a side character elsewhere, and every side character gets to be the main character of their own comic, book, movie, etc. Erm... I really liked Rose from the sequel trilogy and Chirrut Imwe from Rogue One. I find Mara Jade from the Legends universe fun to read. WAIT I GOT IT - Queen Amidala’s handmaidens from Episode I (Sabe, Rabe, Eirtae, Yane, Sache). Highly trained in both politics, decorum, and weaponry, able to be utterly nondescript or the Queen’s decoy at the drop of a hat? I love.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Hmm... you know what, I thought Syrena the mermaid was pretty cute.

Halloween: Rachel Carruthers! Your typical girl-next-door but well done and with a touching relationship with her foster sister. I will die mad about her death in the fifth movie.

Bat Boy The Musical: Uh.... I’ll get back to you on this...

POTO: Carlotta is super fun.

MCU: Oh heck, Dottie Underwood. (My taste in female characters goes like this: a) intelligent and observant, 2) sweet and compassionate, 3) batsh*t insane. She’s the third.)

Terminator: Not sure how much of a side character she is, but Kate Connor. Wife and second-in-command to John Connor, able to heal wounds and kick butt depending on what the movie requires.

ASOIAF/GOT: I’ll probably think of someone else, but you know what? Queen Rhaenys Targaryen, younger sister and wife to Aegon the Conqueror, whom he wed out of desire. Playful, spirited, loved to fly, sponsored musicians, initiated reforms for the smallfolk, what’s not to love? (Apart from one possibility of her death... but we don’t talk about that.)

[kewltie]

YEAR END FIC REVIEW 2019

This year I wrote:

The Dumpster Fire - a bunch of random ‘verses 

to catch the golden snitch 

we're young gods 

all these delicate things 

no peace, no quiet in your eyes 

rip out those wings, darling 

the little prince 

interlude: world's okayest dad 

—to the moon and back 

as the moon bears witness (i swear to you) 

ao3 tells me that’s 95k wc if we discount random teasers/snippets i only wrote on tumblr & twitter than we’re well over 100k. 

Overall thoughts

I honestly thought I wrote less this year giving how many actual new stories I have up on ao3, but over 100k is still a pretty admirable job so far so I can’t be all that disappointed in myself. I don’t have an actual estimate wc on everything bc I post random snippets/teasers on twitter and than move the more edit and polish version on tumblr AND THAN i move it to my dumpstire fire collection if it fit. so like, i don’t know exactly how much wc i did but still moderately impressive given how profoundly lazy i can be lol /o\. 

there were a lot of things i wanted to do but i didn’t get around to it bc i held myself back from committing to various big projects due to my promise/obligation to updating social media au :S. which i guess is good bc i didn’t add on to MORE WIPs but also depressing bc im stuck in a rut bc of it. i hope to explore more projects next year!

My best story of the year

“we’re young gods” prob my psuedo mad max post-apocalyptic wasteland abo au... GOD WHAT A MOUTHFUL. outside!pov has always been one of my fav narrative piece to write esp when im building a evolving world that come with it. i love a post-apocalyptic landscape, the fight and survive theme has always been a deep fascination for me plus w/ abo which makes it even more interesting. i talk a lot about the idea of kingmaker and the person behind the seat of power/throne a lot and i wanted that deeply in a lot of my ‘verses bc stories of movers and shakers of the world are always fun bc their actions have such HUGE RAMIFICATION and i always like politics and wars a little too much lol /o\. 

My favorite story of the year

“to catch the golden snitch” bc i really like my veela!katsuki fic the most. prob bc it plays into adapting some familiar concept/theme/source (HPverse) and putting my fav spin on them with bkdk. i have always been fond of creaturefics in hp fandom so i knew i wanted to make another VEELAFIC bc why the fuck not. it also play into my fav trope of katsuki being something inhuman, dangerous, and beautiful and also SO COMPLETELY WHIPPED FOR THS HUMAN BOY ;D. 

Most fun story to write

“to the moon and back” aka DRUNK!IZUKU FIC!!!! bc HELLO DRUNK IZUKU IS THE ABSOLUTELY BEST.

Story with the single sexiest moment

“all these delicate things’ or aka the panties fic bc unf i really like see man indulge in feminine things esp when they’re someone who had such a history of violence like izuku who had suffer so much hurt in his life; AND ON HIS BODY which are riddled with scars and i think should allow yourself to be kind/softer to yourself and things like panties are so DELICATE that idk i really dig that juxtaposition??? A LOT. 

Most "holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story

“rip out those wings darling” aka mutual yandere fic i was originally given a prompt by someone but my giftee dropped out so I RAN WILD AND CAME UP WITH THIS BULLSHIT. idk i always like fucked up relationship esp when it’s mutually assured destruction kind of fucked up where they both equally crazy about each other and im all for that. fandom has a habit of making izuku being super creepy stalker but they make him violent rapist and that doesn’t sit well with me. you can make izuku creepy and stalkerish w/o playing into that kind of things :S. i hate how darkfics these days are like fall under that purview when you can have darkfic w/o necessitating sexual violence... like pls explore mindgames and emotional/mental manipulation more like man i think that’s much more interesting so i tried that with this fic. izuku doesn’t hurt others or hurt katsuki BUT HURT HIMSELF to manipulate katsuki to care for him and im like SO ABOUT THAT bc it play into his self sacrificing nature w/o me bending his characterization to make him into something recognizable and katsuki violent obsession and possession with izuku is ramped up but it isn’t sexualized but about ownership and wanting to izuku enough to to kill and idk i dig their mutual destructive habits about each other lol. 

Story that shifted my own perception of the characters

i swear to god i don’t like the villain!deku trope. im more indiff to it than anything but the trope tend to twist him into something unrecognizable to me but when i was coming up about this ‘verse i wanted izuku to be a bit jaded and betrayed by the world/society but still SO EARNEST AND HOPEFUL about it even though his goals has twisted in a way that by saving it he has to break it first. somehow trying to true to himself as he slip further and further in darkness and i just find that kind of duality fascinating????? like how do i keep in character but make him fall and see his struggles b/t both sides and i find myself liking villain!deku just a tiny, A TINY more and open so much potential. 

Hardest story to write

“as the moon bears witness” bc i did a rushed job on it and I HATE IT W/ THE FIRE OF TEN THOUSANDS SUNS. there’s so much i wanted to include but i fucked up and i hate how much I FUCKED UP ON IT. this is def the fic i regretted the most bc i knew what i wanted but i couldn’t exactly execute it correctly but instead of trying to think of a way to fix it i just let it go and i hate it and myself ever since than. UGH. 

Biggest disappointment

"AS THE MOON BEARS WITNESS” for the exact same reason as above. i want to rewrite this so SO BAD and i will. 

Biggest surprise

i didn’t have any surprise fics tbh. everything that i wrote is pretty much under my purview LOL but i found myself being more active on twitter the last half of the year and writing more threads (i.e. live writing) than moving it on tumblr. a lot of pieces i written on twitter was sudden for me and took me hostage but ya know what i go with the flow anyway bc what can i say im just a weak, weak girl w/ zero self control. 

Most unintentionally telling story

maybe “no peac, no quiet in your eyes”? I think that idea slapped me across the face bc i spent a week getting really obsessed with asoiaf fics on ao3 and man I LOVE POLITICS AND WARS?? did i mention that??? i love dynastic rules, warring kingdoms, and a love earth shattering enough to move mountains and i wanted to see that so much so that ‘verse kind of happened. 

Story I haven't written yet, but intend to

omfg SO MANY JUST SOOO SOOO MANY. i would really to get around to writing a full fledged fic of either surrogate au or sperm donor au bc i love that kind of unconventional family and romcom are like YA KNOW MY WEAKNESS. 

Goals for this year:

like every year i keep saying i want to do tododekubaku fic and maybe 2020 WILL BE MY YEAR??

finish social media ch 2 before/around my bday of this month as a gift to myself a;sjdf;alsjdf lol 

take on more projects that won’t land in the dumpstire fire collections

explore new fic avenues bc i always like trying new things and breaking in new genre/tropes bc why the fuck not

write all THE CLICHES and don’t let anyone tell me otherwise about my omega!deku loving ways

[lululawrence]

Hey! Have you read any good abo fics recently?

ahehehehehe okay, so, i put this off until now because i needed to be able to look at a few things. so, by recently i am taking that to mean since i last did an a/b/o fic rec, which apparently was june of last year (and january before that). that’s far too long ago, meaning this rec is going to have about 30 fics on it. hahahaha i’m putting them in no particular order other than the order i bookmarked them in, meaning most recent bookmarks will be last, so if june of last year wasn’t recent enough, you’ll wanna scroll a bit. :D

I have also written two more a/b/o fics since my last rec, so i’ll start with a bit of self promo and then start lauding the work of others (hope you don’t mind)

The World Will Open Its Arms - this one is actually one of my more popular fics from last year, which i wasn’t expecting at all. haha my entire goal for this fic was to take a feeling i got while listening to a song on a random drive to take my daughter to her ice skating camp and capture it in a fic. i think i did, and i love the little bit of insight we get into their lives with this one. pregnant and unbonded omega harry, alpha louis. :)

How I Feel Inside - i wrote this one also for wordplay, and while there’s omega harry and alpha louis in there, the real focus of the fic is the fact that niall is missing. you find out why at the end, so i’ll try not to give it away, but i did it kinda as a gag and a joke and loved it so i hope you enjoy it too hahaha

okay! and now to the rest. Let’s do this.

Take What's Mine by @jaerie / jaerieall i’m really gonna say about this one is i first read it as a dark fic read and then she took it off anon so i figured if she was brave enough to say she wrote it then i was brave enough to say i loved it haha so here we are. it’s a bit of a dark fic but is ultimately healing and beautiful imo.

was it all a fake? by @jaerie / jaerieso this is a fic i didn’t realize she was gonna publicly gift to me and i asked for it, so fair enough, but i love it. i love it and it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, so please, like with the fic before, check the tags (i feel like this rec isn’t starting well with me warning about things before people read them, but i really do love these hahaha)

These Lover's Eyes by chasingxrabbitswhat i love most about this fic is it’s a pack fic. i feel like packs are something that used to be explored more in older a/b/o fics in the fandom but that it is often ignored unless it’s in the almost tribal sense of packs, and this is very different. like the summary literally reads “A/B/O verse where Liam is an alpha, Josh, Niall, Louis, and Harry are his betas and an unlikely little omega stumbles into the picture.” and i can’t really say much more than that, but i love it so much. haha so if you’re looking for a totally different dynamic to this verse, this older fic will defo give you that. (if someone also wants to kind of explore this idea and dynamic in their own ways as well, please tag me when you post lol)

hard to confess by @hereforlou / hereforlouACCIDENTAL MPREG! gosh i love fics like this so much and they did this one really well. accidental mpreg with assumptions made that might not be entirely correct and friends to lovers and just SO MUCH GOODNESS OKAY

Desire A/B/o series by @reminiscingintherain / reminiscingintherainthis series is an established relationship, somewhat canon compliant a/b/o series that was such fun to read. super fluffy, super sweet, super cute. basically, if the dark fics i kinda started this rec with aren’t your thing, this probably is. lol

I'm Sure It Happens To All Alphas by @jaerie / jaerieALPHA. LOUIS. HAS TROUBLE. POPPING A KNOT. gosh i died reading this fic. i love it so much. she works her magic, as usual, and does it in style.

The Wilds by @jaerie / jaerieThis fic was just. it was wow. it was such an interesting world for things to take place in and fascinating how it all played out. there are quite a few sensitive subjects that this does broach, so while i wouldn’t necessarily say it is a dark fic, you do need to be sensitive to the tags, so please be careful with those!

You Gotta Swim, Swim For Your Life series by @jaerie / jaeriei swear i do read a/b/o that isn’t done by jenna. lollll but this series is so good. it’s a really incredible fic that takes you through harry’s journey with grief and illness and all sorts of things, so if that’s triggering for you, then please don’t read this, but it’s so so so beautifully done. the emotions in this series are gorgeous.

Where You Lay by @ham-palpert / HamPalpertTHIS FIIIIIIC! gosh it’s a perceived enemies to friends with benefits to lovers fic but there’s such a journey along the way. it’s so so so amazing. it ended and i just felt so complete. hahaha it’s one of those fics. so yeah, love love love.

The Nearness of You by @louisalbumnow / theweightofmywordsTHIS FIC. the nesting in this fic! the description and emotions and just ALL OF IT. it’s just gold. in a 2k wrapper. it’s amazing. i don’t even have words just read it.

One Love by @13ways-of-looking / 13waysthis fic is SO EMOTIONAL. it hit me hard and was another one of those that packs a lot into few words. it was so interesting and a really fascinating world and just. yeah. it’s a great read!

I'll Take Care Of You by @dimpled-halo / dimpled_halojacky wrote me a part 2 of my fic for my birthday! she wrote the part 1 for my birthday too, so i guess she loves me a lot if she was willing to revisit it and write me some more. i love this ‘verse so much, though. the throw back to high school/college like it’s done here is so pure and complex and i love it.

I Know How To Whisk (But Teach Me Anyway) by @2tiedships2 / 2tiedships2mel comes and delivers another great a/b/o fic! i love how she always ties in the idea of soulmates with her fics. and this one is so fun and i love that it entirely revolves around an obsession with a bakery hahaha a great read, as always!

Alpha Seeking Alpha by @jaerie / jaerieOKAY OKAY OKAY. i love this one too. gosh i say that about everyone of these, don’t i? i suppose it’s a fic rec so i would hope i love them all but i’m not thinking well tonight so all you’re getting is read this cause i love it but like ALPHA/ALPHA THROUGH A SERVICE AND JUST AAAHHHHHHH

I Wanna Be More Than Friends by @2tiedships2 / 2tiedships2this is my fav mel fic yet. i kept throwing ideas at her hoping something would stick and then she came up with something completely unique that i’d never heard of before and I LOVE IT SO MUCH. alpha harry does not have a sense of smell. OMGGGGGGGG anyway. toooootally amazing twist on the a/b/o verse.

If I Loved You Less by @allwaswell16 / allwaswell16REGENCY A/B/O!!!! did you hear me? I SAID REGENCY A/B/O!!! With side shiall! i adored this fic because even through the end i was like HOW ARE THEY GONNA MAKE THIS WORK but it does and it’s magical and so great. gosh. so so great.

The Unsuccessful Promise by trysomecatsthis fic actually just got a part 2 added recently and i only just read that part 2 last night! lol good timing, i suppose! anyway, this one is sooooo fun because it’s got feisty didn’t think he’d be an omega louis with super sweet and obviously misunderstood harry with louis’ parents being ZIAM!!! it was a fun story that i really enjoyed reading lol my fav part might have actually been zayn and liam, i loved how they were written

Moments Like These Are To Die For by @fourdrunksluts / alienharrythis is one of those fics that sucked me in and spat me out afterwards and i keep thinking about it! months later i still think about this fic. it stayed with me and i love it. it’s an arranged marriage royalty au where harry and louis are from different packs and AHHHHHHHHH i love it so so so much. PLUS!!! THERE’S AN ACE CHARACTER!!! AN ACE CHARACTER IN AN A/B/O!?!?! I LOVE IT SO MUCH! so yeah this fic means a lot to me and i love it so much so please read it.

Your Touch Is The Only Thing I Feel by @2tiedships2 / 2tiedships2mel delves into touch depri here and i love that being explored! i felt like she did it in a different way than i’d seen it in other fics too, so i really like that as well. as usual, the relationship dynamics in her fics are spot on and hysterical while also making you just love every second. 

The light is coming by @pocketsunshineharry / ishiplouislisten. i have a soft spot for hurt/comfort, especially in a/b/o, and this fic just harnesses ALL OF THAT and makes it just. i can’t. i can’t say much more but i just loved this dynamic and how much louis just needed help and the war within himself and frustration with that but harry was patient and did what he could to help and it was just so great.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year series by @2tiedships2 / 2tiedships2louis and harry didn’t exactly have the best first meeting hahaha it’s okay, though, because niall is there to force them to be friends. this is a super fun christmassy/birthday style two part series that not only explores the up to the point of finding louis’ alpha, but also what comes after that. it’s a lot of fun and i loved it hehe

Do Not Falter (There's a Star Ahead) by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderryNESTING HARRY. NESTING OMEGA HARRY. NESTING OMEGA HARRY NEEDING A SAFE PLACE. MUTUAL PINING. CHRISTMAS EVE. AHHHHHH this fic is short and sweet and i want to sit and sink into harry’s nest. it evokes the same warmth and almost magical feel all of emmu’s fics do. i love it.

You Should Be Here With Me by @dimpled-halo / dimpled_haloexes to lovers at christmas with pining and miscommunication and bonding and ahhhhhhhhh. i don’t even know what more to say, other than jacky is queen of exes to lovers, so make it a/b/o and christmas themed and you know you’ve got gold on your hands.

Merry Birthday by @jaerie / jaerieSOULMARK A/B/O. where they don’t even realize they’ve met until afterwards so then they’ve gotta find each other again and it’s just. gosh it’s so great and it’s so much more than just a christmas fic, even though it’s that too, it extends beyond and i love it.

Let Me Feel Your Heartbeat by @angelichl / angelichli love that “louis tomlinson wears harry styles’ clothes” is a legit tag in ao3. anyway. this is another one of those tentative enemies to friends to lovers with heaps of miscommunication and pining and confusion and everything are thrown together when mating cycles come into play and i love it. gosh i love it so so much. it was a great way to kick off the new year with a/b/o haha

Leave Your Mark On Me by @fullonlarrie / FullOnLarriespeaking of kicking off the new year with some amazing a/b/o, lauren tried her hand at it and I LOVED IT. it had so many twists i did not anticipate and i loved it so much. it was as wonderfully written as hers always are and with her signature humor and feelings and development and i adored it.

so that’s what i’ve got for you! i hope you find some on here that you haven’t read yet and that you like them as much as i did! hit me up again in another six months and i’ll see what i can do with another a/b/o rec update hehehe

[cosmi-trashbin]

My Top 5 Favorite Ducktales 2017 Episodes (So Far)

I’m pretty new to DuckTales as a whole.

The reboot has been my official introduction to Scrooge McDuck, Duckburg, and otherwise. So, it may be awhile before I’m familiar with or better acquainted with the original comics and the first cartoon series, as well as other series referenced such as Darkwing Duck and Talespin. After getting caught up with this series, I’m definitely curious about the source material that bits and pieces of the toon makes loving references and homages to. Regardless, these picks are based on what I’ve personally liked and enjoyed about DuckTales 2017 so far.

5.) "The Golden Lagoon of White Agony Plains!"

Golden Lagoon is the reboot’s introduction to Scrooge’s old flame Goldie O’ Gilt. She’s cunning, she’s devious, she’s beautiful, and she’s one of the few ducks that can really give Scrooge the proverbial run for his money. It’s kind of fun to see how dramatic, complicated, and dysfunctional her relationship with Scrooge is. Scrooge and Goldie definitely gives off vibes of ‘This is the only man/woman I have genuine feelings for’ but it’s tempered by the idea of a perpetual cat-and-mouse chase.

Goldie and Scrooge sync up on so many things, but their attraction towards each other and the big deal-breaker are their respective obsessions with and opinions on treasure-hunting. For Goldie, treasure is the ultimate objective, she will go to any length to get it, and she’ll do whatever she thinks she needs to do to keep it. For Scrooge, he’s obsessed with gold and hoards treasure like a true miser, but he’ll pick a loved one over treasure every time if it comes down to those rough circumstances. It’s a bit of a toss-up as to how Goldie will react to or behave in certain situations. The ideal meeting for Scrooge and Goldie is a fairweather Indiana Jones venture with low stakes and only the other as their worst enemy. It’s more fun and the focus is on being both enchanted by and disgusted by what the other will do next.

Scrooge and Goldie had the spotlight for this episode, but Glomgold is a ridiculously welcome third wheel. Apparently, his jealousy of Scrooge’s love life is the kind of kicker to give him “Grade A Villain” casting for at least an episode. It was unexpectedly grim when Goldie slipped into that river of molten gold.

4.) "Who is Gizmoduck?!"

I love episodes of cartoons that focus on and follow another character of the cast for at least that one story.

This episode is pretty much the underdog story of how Fenton, the humble and starry-eyed intern, became the hero Gizmoduck. Previous episodes set up Fenton as an awkward, kind of over-compensating, but sympathetic figure. All he wants is to earn his boss and personal hero Gyro’s respect and get a few words of encouragement. Viewers learn that Gyro isn’t the only one Fenton’s trying to impress. His M’Ma, Officer Cabrera, is skeptic of Fenton’s role as an unpaid intern and his insistence that “it will lead to bigger, better things, I swear!” In short, Fenton is caught between his personal hopes and the expectations of others.

With how much respect Fenton holds for Gyro, the expected story was that he’d be let down by how the man doesn’t live up to the idealized image in Fenton’s mind. Instead, Fenton has been losing respect for and blind admiration of Gyro for awhile. Fenton’s attention shifted to Gyro’s highly experimental prototype suit of armor and what kind of potential said suit has. It’s no longer about gaining Gyro’s approval. It’s about figuring out who Gizmoduck is and what he can do. Whether he expected it or not, Fenton unexpectedly stumbled into his life’s purpose. Suddenly, Gizmoduck isn’t just an abstract idea or an idealized concept, Fenton is Gizmoduck. Since the episode shows things from Fenton’s perspective, Gizmoduck can be considered a key part of his own journey towards self-actualization.

Honestly, I consider “Gizmoduck” an example for why this toon has something for everybody. Kids have the triplets, Webby, and Lena. Older adults have Donald, Scrooge, and Beakley. And personally, as a twenty-something on a self-discovery journey, I relate to and empathize with Fenton.

3.) "From the Confidential Case Files of Agent 22!"

There was a scene in the very first episode where Webby posed dramatically in front of a Scrooge statuette. Part of me was pointing excitedly at the screen thinking “She’s Scrooge McDuck’s thematic echo for the current generation!”

I was a bit off. Arguably, both Louie and Webby have traits, goals, and motivations in common with Scrooge. In Webby’s case, she shares Scrooge’s intense enthusiasm and zeal for adventuring and the history attached to the relic/site they’re about to visit. The reason why she’s so drawn to and utterly fascinated by Scrooge is that she’s Scrooge’s kindred spirit for lack of a better description. “Confidential Case Files” is the most significant episode so far for fleshing out this particular idea and Webby’s specific bonding-with-Uncle-Scrooge episode.

Viewers are treated to a fun James Bond parody, the official reveal and confirmation of Mrs. Beakley’s background as a spy, and direct focus on Scrooge and Webby’s dynamic. It’s fun to see Webby’s and Scrooge’s vie to rescue Mrs. Beakley compared/contrasted with the first time Scrooge teamed up with Agent 22. Webby naturally goes for similar conclusions and approaches to island threats that Scrooge originally had, but her actions are tempered by Beakley’s shrewd instincts. Scrooge and Webby’s team-up is a showcase for what kind of impact Beakley had on both of them: Scrooge tries to be more conscientious and responsible of his actions and Webby’s reckless adventuring spirit is teamed up with thorough training from Beakley. In short, Webby benefits greatly from having both Scrooge and Beakley as her mentors and guardians.

Scrooge and the triplets have been a driving force in Webby opening up and exploring how to be more comfortable her strange, eccentric self. When Scrooge acknowledges how important bonding with her is, it’s pretty much on-screen confirmation that Webby and Beakley are extended members of his family.

2.) "The Other Bin of Scrooge McDuck!"

Throughout the series, Lena kept trying to convince herself and her aunt Magica that she was just ‘using’ Webby and that she’s locked away all of her ‘weak’ emotions. But it was just lip service the entire time.

I’ve loved her character writing over the course of the entire first season. Viewers can see Lena’s struggle and empathize with how difficult it’d be to act against her aunt, but root her on that much more the bigger and more significant her defiance becomes. It starts with how ambiguous her reasons for saving Beakley were and grows into signs that she sincerely cares about her friendship with Webby, if not the McDuck family at large, when she uses her magic to destroy Magica’s money shark. Lena’s personal dilemma has been gaining her freedom vs the possibility of hurting someone completely innocent. Despite her position, when things get dire, Lena opts for the decision that helps/protects others from Magica.

Lena’s freedom was the most powerful incentive Magica had to keep the girl under her control. The nightmare is Lena’s bucket of cold water. It’s one thing for the McDucks to find out about how she was part of Magica’s plot, but the bigger realization is that Magica can and will hurt the people Lena cares about no matter what she does. Even worse, Lena was always just a tool for Magica and that if she can, Magica will use Lena to destroy the people Lena cares about and revel in it.

Watching Lena inadvertently destroy Webby permanently left a bigger impact than anything else Magica did. The build-up and execution of that scene, in addition to Lena’s relief at it all just being a dream, is hands-down one of the strongest scenes in this series. It’s satisfying to see Lena try to reach out to Scrooge for help. It adds to how fantastic a twist the Magica possession is and gives ample weight to how tragic Lena’s death is.

After “Shadow Wars,” I’m really hoping Lena returns at a later point in the series. While there’s a certain kind of narrative closure and gravity to the idea of Lena as Webby’s guardian spirit, the sappy part of me wants her to come back. I want the happy, fairytale ending of Scrooge adopting Lena, okay?

On a side note: It’s kind of interesting that plush doll Webby partly resembles her original character design from the 1987 DuckTales series. Maybe this scene could be interpreted as having a double meaning or something?

1.) "The Last Crash of the Sunchaser!"

This episode is an emotional gut-punch because of the ending montage. The entire season kept dropping bread crumbs about the missing Della subplot. As the story keeps building, it’s like a rubberband is slowly getting pulled to the point of snapping with Scrooge’s confession about the Spear of Selene. In the heat of the moment, the triplets directly blame Scrooge for losing their mom and old wounds are ripped open for Donald. It’s understandable why everyone is so emotional and the big fallout that follows. As if seeing the triplets’ hearts break wasn’t enough, viewers see Scrooge’s side of the story: He was getting used to the idea of having family join him on adventures, building the Spear was a gesture of goodwill and hopes for how grand future adventures would be, how everything went wrong when Della took off against his warnings, and how desperately he tried to get Della back home safely.

Losing Della broke and devastated Scrooge just as much as it did everyone else. Over the course of adventuring with his niece and nephew, he was starting to become more open-minded and open to others in general. He already took people under his wing if they had interesting ideas and rebellious ideas that stuck out to him, but even then, they were just colleagues or employees. Della and Donald started to convince him to consider others, family especially, as someone he could trust, confide in, and learn from just as much as he could teach them. Seeing Scrooge sink back down into that big arm chair was the dramatic climax of his character arc in this series; a weighty echo of this series’ fantastic take on the classic ‘curmudgeonly Scrooge’ story.

In short: This episode’s writing tugged at my heartstrings and made me feel things.

[aerialflight]

One Piece Fic Recs

Okay I’ve been obsessing over One Piece lately and I have a need to spread the One Piece love with these fics that I recently found and can’t stop thinking about now. Hope you all enjoy!

-

Sleeping Arrangements by Altiria 

Ship: Law/Luffy

Nightmares plaguing Law keep him awake most nights, an unusual arrangement keeps him blissfully dream free. Some miscommunications form from the result.

(listen, LISTEN, this summary doesn’t do this story justice when it comes to showing the sheer hilarity and chaos that happens in this fic. this is basically a story of Luffy doing his best to try and marry Law and everybody gets dragged into it. and when i say everybody, i mean EVERYBODY. this is the funniest fic i’ve read in ages and i guarantee you won’t be able to breathe at some points when reading this fic.)

True Love's Kiss by Altiria

Ship: Law/Luffy, Marco/Ace

The Whitebeard crew converge upon Marineford to rescue one of their own. As they arrive, they and everyone nearby is cursed by the powers of the fairy-tale fruit. Luffy, the only one with his memories intact, now needs to find a way to break them all out of the story with the aid of almost stranger; who deeply regrets his involvement.

Starring: 'spontaneous singing', 'definitely not a princess,’ 'I'm too old for this,' and a group of pirates who are never ever going to live this down.

(discovering this author was the best thing that happened to me this week, so i had to rec two of her fics in a row. i swear there are some scenes in here that i can’t unsee and it’s burned into my memory now. and i absolutely do not regret it cause just thinking about it has me cackling like a mad man.)

A Test of Endurance by RememberThePetrichor

Ship: Doflamingo/Crocodile

It’s strange the things that tie people back together. A backwards glance. A rash decision. Or in Crocodile and Doflamingo’s case, a severe psychotic episode in a dank alleyway at three in the morning. [Dofladile anthology with a tiny dollop of smut, now also with plot]

(never in a million years did i think i would ever like this ship, yet here we are. the fic explores these two unexpected, jagged people together and it’s amazing how well they fit. and crocodile is so emotionally constipated and i’m laughing at him the entire way. a smitten doflamingo is an image i didn’t know could exist, yet the author somehow managed to bring it into the world. it’s brilliant and i definitely rec this if you like complicated, stretched out timeless romances. will continue to keep an eye on this.)

Prospects by BrambleFuzz

“I might end up having to kill you. That makes me an enemy, don’t you understand?” “But enemies are supposed to hate each other, right?” Straw Hat questioned, drawing his eyes back to Katakuri’s face. “Do you?”

(Luffy is insistent that he and Katakuri are friends, and Katakuri is insistent that they are not. One of them is very much in denial, but perhaps for good reason.)

(no one is safe when it comes to luffy’s unending charisma and stubborn insistence of friendship. it’s beautiful and i love this.)

Heed the Siren's Call by missmungoe

Ship: Shanks/Makino

Rumours on the tide say he's got a girl in every port, but sea-sayings tend to exaggerate. There was only ever one port—and the one girl.

Pre-series. Bookish and wilful, Makino is not even twenty when her legal guardian leaves her on her own, and with a bar to boot. And it figures he'd choose the greatest personal upheaval in her life to make his entrance. After all, he's that kind of guy.

Part 1 of Shanties for the Weary Voyager

(i don’t know what’s up with me reading shipping fics, i usually go to gen when it comes to one piece but i definitely don’t regret it. wow, this fic was honestly a journey and it’s stunning. i honestly can’t unsee the potential of this ship now and god, i wish this is canon. i really, really do. also, this is part of a series and i’m going to be honest, it’s Sea Songs that completely won me over. it’s the sequel to this story and it’s what made me completely fall in love with this series and this ship. But, reading the first of the series definitely adds more depth to their relationship and is the beginning of everything, if i have to be dramatic about it. which i do, cause it deserves it.)

Unwritten by missmungoe

Ship: Mihawk/Hancock

She's used to flattery and pretty words.

What she gets from him is...not that.

(bet your didn’t expect this, cause i sure didn’t. but man, this ship just works and i love it so much. you have no idea how much i digged for more fics on this pairing and it’s disappointingly low to say the least. can’t regret it though. honestly, the author is just so good at shipping two characters i don’t expect to work, yet it does.)

sic itur ad astra by donutsandcoffee

Humans can make out patterns out of nothing. Like discovering shapes in the cloud, or images between the stars. If you listen to static noise long enough they start to form meaningful words, even when there isn’t any.

This is the closest approximation to how Ichiji feels things.

It is almost fascinating, then, for him, to watch Sanji, who seems to feel everything with his entire being, so visceral and open and raw.

(such a fantastic character study on a character that isn’t explored much. ichiji is so complex here and the author gives him more nuance in how he rationalizes emotions and who he is as a person. his relationship with sanji is given more depth and i’m so happy! definitely read this!)

Memoirs of a Suicidal Pirate by alkhale

Getting murdered while trying to kill yourself is bad luck. Getting reincarnated after that is just a bad joke. But Toonami reruns and cheap commissions info have taught her this world has plenty of chances to get yourself killed. It can't be that hard.

"So you're actually trying to die?"

"Yes."

"You know you're his nakama now, right?"

"So?"

"...Good luck with that."

(this is a fic that i’m literally waiting at the edge of my seat for to update. every time it does, my heart soars and my day, no, week improves instantly. i swear, the worldbuilding in this is top notch and if i didn’t know one piece at the back of my hand, i would absolutely believe the OC self-insert character was a real character in One Piece, i am not kidding. the author hits the tone, the WORLDBUILDING, the characters, literally everything that makes One Piece what it is, right on the nail. i laughed, i cried, i felt incessant rage at the very One Piece existing cruelty of the world, i really felt like i was reading canon One Piece, and that’s no easy accomplishment. seriously, please for the love of god read this. @adelmortescryche and i freak over this all the time and i need to spread this fic like a wildfire to other people, god.)

[kimmysfandomblog]

Ohh, 6, 9, 11, 19 and 25. For all the games, but if it's too hard to pick, you can have one by game :p

Thank you, Serahne!!! ^ v ^

From here: https://kimmysfandomblog.tumblr.com/post/170470327942/lafumiko-hi-people-i-was-searching-for-a-good

Spoilers for V3, so these are under the cut!

6. Favorite plot twist?

DR1: Gosh, it’s a tie between Sayaka being the one killed and even planning to kill to escape the game and Naegi escaping execution!!! Bot of them realy threw me for a loop! I will say that discovering Sayaka was murdered left the greater impact, though, and was the reason I stuck to Danganronpa early on. It blew my mind at the time!

DR2: Hajime being Izuru/the “mastermind” was the most shocking thing to me! I really wasn’t expecting that??? I really came to love Hajime a lot by this point, and was feeling incredibly sorry for him already. When we were exploring the school for the last trial’s investigation and the Hope Cultivation Plan came up, I kinda figured it out. I don’t think I connected the dots completely though, ahaha. Also, just the fact that all of them were evil and responsible for spreading Despair worldwide was such a great plot twist, in my opinion!

DRAE: There weren’t many plot twists in this game, but I guess the most shocking was that Monaca was not an invalid. Like, she was pretty obviously the one running the show, and she was obsessed with Junko, but her faking being handicapped to control both her family and friends for sympathy and to get what she wanted was a genius plan on her part!

V3: I honestly didn’t like them all that much, especially Kaede not being the protag. The ending one where Tsumugi reveals everything is a lie (literally) wasn’t bad or good in my opinion. Like, I wasn’t necessarily disappointed by the ending like I thought I would be (that one was spoiled even before the game released in Japan because I couldn’t blacklist on PC and thought going through Hajime’s tag would be okay :( Damn you, dataminers!!!), I kinda just accepted that this was it. Also the trio being alive was not an exciting plot twist in the least (I love you Himiko and Maki, but your survival kinda makes me go ehhh with how the game ended). I guess that only leaves Kaito being ill and dying before his execution killed him as my favorite! I really liked how that last execution (not counting Danganronpa’s execution) was the reverse of the very first execution we see (Jin Kirigiri’s), and I already loved Kaito. It was nice that Kaito’s final goodbye was a middle finger to Danganronpa’s theme of killing the blackened with an over-the-top execution!

9. Favorite Ultimate Talent?

These are all very tough decisions…

DR1: Ultimate Biker Gang Leader! I honestly would never expect such a talent to exist, and I gotta wonder how HPA was able to gather data for that talent, hahaha. It helps that I found Mondo endearing even if he swears a bit and reacts with violence. He hast a golden heart full of regrets, and I liked his backstory! Also the talent itself is just… really cool.

DR2: Ok, so this is kinda weird, but Ultimate Lucky Student. Makoto was a totally different kind of Ultimate Lucky Student than Komaeda’s, where all-in-all he is an average guy and his luck only affects him sometimes. While that is an interesting talent, it’s not as interesting as Komaeda’s. Komaeda is probably the truest definition of Ultimate Luckster! His luck is tragic. It takes away any personal relationships and turns it into materialistic fortune. It is so powerful it warped Komaeda and his view of the world drastically. Gosh, it is very interesting and gets me wondering what could possibly happen around Komaeda because of his luck in different situations and with different people. Truly, a fascinating talent that I wouldn’t bestow on anyone!

DRAE: There were only a few people with an Ultimate Talent here, haha. I liked that Kotoko was the Ultimate Li’l Drama who actually will not perform for anyone (understandably) and the Fighter of the Group! If that counts, haha. Otherwise we only have Byakuya, Fukawa/Syo, Makoto, and Komaeda (and technically Izuru but he is on the screen for, like, 5 seconds and has every talent, so that would be boring anyways). If I had to choose between the four talents without Komaeda repeated, I think the most interesting would be Syo’s Ultimate Murderous Fiend! It’s really interesting to me that she’s a split personality of Toko. I kinda have to wonder how Toko can get exhausted easily, but Syo can slash and dash, even hurling herself several feet in the air, without breaking a sweat!

V3: It is a tie between Ultimate Anthropolgist and Ultimate Mage Magician! Unlike with the previous installments of the series, I was able to just see the talents before knowing the characters, though, so Ultimate Magician was the one that really caught my eye since I’m obsessed with Fantasy AUs, especially of the RPG kind with that class system! I’ve also always been really fasinated by Magic and magicians in general, haha. After playing the game, though, Kiyo really sold me on the Ultimate Anthropologist talent! I was a Cognitive Science major in the school within the university that focuses on the humanities, so not only am I very interested in human cognitive thinking as individuals and as a group, but I took a lot of history and some anthropology courses. I really nerded out with Kiyo and Shuichi during those FTEs! History/Folklore is truly fascinating! 

11. A character you’d revive?

Alright, this is a tough one for some of these because most of the ones I liked who died died “well,” as in their story was finished and satisfying. I’d surely love to see them alive again, true, but if we are going by canon and I could only bring back one, then it almost feels cheap. Kinda like “DR3 cheap.” That makes most of these characters not my favorites, but ones i felt deserve a second chance/should have survived.

DR1: Ishimaru. He isn’t my favorite character (I’m honestly gonna place him in the “he’s ok!” range), but he clearly didn’t have any satisfying development. You can’t get FTEs from his Kiyondo form, and he dies having done very little as Kiyondo other then some inconvenience regarding Alter Ego! It would probably be super interesting to see what he would do in later chapters, and if he ever snaps out of it in the chapters after.

DR2 (assuming the DR3 anime never happened): Saionji died for nothing, let’s be real here, lol. She was just barely going to reform herself and become a better person, and then she dies, offscreen, on accident. A friend also helped me realize that we never come across her murder weapon. I think that what would have been the best solution was not having a double murder. Plus, it would make it interesting to see whether she is able to forgive Kuzuryuu at all or not, how that affects the groups trust in each other in later parts of the game (since it is really hard to get close to her since she doesn’t trust people easily), and especially her reaction to being Ultimate Despair, as well as her growth spurt.

DRAE: Chihiro’s dad Taichi. He and Yuta died for shock, but how sad would it be if he was alive and found out his son was killed? And that his son’s legacy, Alter Ego, survived? Man, what a tragedy! It would have been nice to see him tag along with Toko and Komaru to the adult’s base and maybe try to hack into devices, or slowly give upgrades to Komaru making her life a little easier. He could also join Togami and leave Towa City.  He’d be an incredible asset to Future Foundation, but he would either refuse out of grief, or he’d take time to warm up to the idea, before accepting and becoming the head of any project regarding the Neo World Program/Alter Ego Chihiro, working closely with Miaya, and keeping close to those who had been Chihiro’s friends.

V3: hmmmm, this one I don’t know for sure. It’s between Hoshi, Miu, Kiibo, and… this may surprise you, but Angie as well.

*** Angie Negativity, you can skip it ***

I hate Angie, but she honestly needs the story development. She got the most abrupt ending, another offscreen death, and no resolution. Honestly speaking, if she had a better story and some form of redemption/questioning of her actions, I would like her a lot more. She just never learned that what she did was wrong, and unlike in her FTEs, telling her “no” made her stick more to her own opinion. Like, initially I didn’t like Celeste in CH3, but I actually grew to like her because she had that backstory that made her want to be more than she was, and she anyways accepted her death in the end without being spiteful and ruining the secret of Alter Ego, even giving the others a hint of where she kept him. She was leagues a better character than Angie. Angie, I was starting to kinda accept her after finishing her FTEs when I was still in CH2 (even if I hate the racial stereotypes, what with orgies, sacrifices, etc). She really made me mad when she refused to listen to anyone else and manipulated others to agree with her (I have an extremely soft spot for Himiko and Gonta, so my bias didn’t help her at all). I’ll give her that she’s really sly and a lot smarter than she tries to let on, but  her cutesy personality combined with manipulation to convert to a religion, suggested by light brainwashing using her paintings (and the fact the others were converted overnight), all so that she can get whatever she wants, and then not seeing any kind of downfall: no backlash or consequences because of what she did? It makes me mad. I’m sorry. I hate her and yet, she is one of the people I’d revive, hahaha. Geez, I honestly tried to like her despite my initial feelings I would dislike her, lol.

*** End of Angie Negativity ***

Kiibo dying while the other three survived is something that rubs me the wrong way since he almost never got respect until he was destroying the school, even when he was one of the few character that were actually helpful during the trials. Honestly, if the others survived, which, given the ending, was kinda pointless, then him surviving as well wouldn’t detract from the impact. Seriously, if anyone deserved to survive, it would be him or Maki.

As for Miu, her death felt like a cop out, for some reason. I can’t explain it exactly… I know that her being killed was because they needed her to go after Kokichi, so that they could get him to trick Gonta to kill her, but it feels wrong somehow? Like there was unfinished business? She had the electrohammers, electrobombs, a remote control, and a bug catcher, her more amazing inventions, made after her death. All her upgrades to Kiibo were very useful, but not as amazing. A drone and the camera set up are really simple, too. Her working with Kokichi on these amazing inventions feels like a plothole instead of plausible. It would be really nice to see her survive since, despite being vulgar, she’s really entertaining! And I wonder how she’d react to being told she wasn’t real, nor was she actually a genius inventor.

And I can’t forget Hoshi! He died horribly for no reason. Kirumi could have bashed him in the head with a tennis racket, or against the wall or something, after she knocked him out. There was no need to pin the blame on anyone. The second trial p*ssed me off so much because it was unnecessarily convoluted and cruel for no reason and anyways made no sense. My heart truly goes out for Hoshi. He had a horrible life! He was imprisoned for killing the Mafiai, was a true hero, and I wish he could have learned that he could find something to live for.

So yeah, V3 was the hardest for me this question, hahaha. I honestly can’t choose between these four. BIG SIGH

If this was bot the answer you were hoping for and you just wanted to get a list of my faves who dued, it would go like this: Sakura, Komaeda, Taichi, and Kaito! Priority goes to Sakura since Ko lives post-canon, hahaha

19. Favorite Free Time Events

DR1: Alright, honestly I need to actually play this game myself. I’ve only seen LPs of the game, and the anime does not have FTEs. The only FTEs I recall are Sayaka’s, Chihiro’s, Ishimaru’s, Kyoko’s, Sakura’s, and Asahina’s. I don’t think I can really say which is my favorite, but I really like Sakura’s and Kyoko’s. I just… can’t remember most of their backstories ^^

DR2: DR2 had too many good FTEs. Komaeda’s are probably the ones I liked the most, though? I didn’t care much for Komaeda initially. He was an interesting character, and I didn’t hate him (I was very neutral). I felt like there was more to him, so when I played the game myself after abandoning the LP I was watching, I went after him first and it changed my mind completely! I like it when a character’s background is explained and matches consequences and actions the character makes during the main story, and DR2 did this really well for my taste. Komaeda’s helped explain everything and made him a sympathetic character and helped me to understand him. Of course, it also sparked the Koma/Hina shipping, hahaha. If I had to come up with a runner up, it would be Souda’s for a similar reason! His also ties really well to the main story, especially with not being able to finish his FTEs until like after CH4, after he is done doubting Hajime.

V3: I’m stuck between Kiyo and Maki’s. Kiyo’s had more of an impact on me, though, because it flipped my initial suspicion I would hate him. Him being fascinated with anthropology and teaching Shuichi about it made me seriously love him as a character even though I was sure at the time I would hate him since I was spoiled about the incest plot twist. Maki’s was really well explained and tied nicely to the game’s story. She is kinda like Komaeda, in a way, hahaha. She had a tragic backstory because of her talent, been through hell, lost someone very precious to her, and her talent makes her actively try to avoid people and trust them. And, like I said before, I like FTEs that help explain why a character reacts the way they do (although in her case, a small part of her FTEs do land up in the main story, so I say they were slightly less effective, but tied better to the story)

DRAE doesn’t have FTEs, but there are explained backstories of the kids, and I loved Nagisa. His was the most relatable, with all of that pressure to succeed, never feeling good enough.

25. Saddest Death

DR1: 100% Sakura’s!!! She’s a real gem of a character, and I wish Danganronpa had more female characters that were like her! Anyways, she was so interesting, and not just for how she looks or her talent, but that she was the traitor torn by family duty and her loyalty to her friends. She thought that the best way to end this killing game was by sacrificing herself so that the group would not be split. She was so selfless and loved so much, yet she was treated horribly in her last hours because Monokuma made sure to make her as disliked as possible. And then he spits on her death further by stealing her last letter and will so he could use Hina to make the trial more interesting. My heart goes out to her more than anyone in DR1.

DR2: My gut instinct was to say “Komaeda” or “Nanami”, but truth be told, CH2 wrecked me! Peko’s execution really got to me because, firstly, I never suspected her, and secondly, her backstory with Fuyuhiko and the fact she killed and died to save him made the execution 10 times worse to endure! I hadn’t seen her FTE’s all the way through the first time, but I saw most of them and while she hadn’t been a favorite, she had a cute personality! I really did like her!. What made her death worse was Fuyuhiko’s reaction and him trying to intervene. I’m getting shills remembering it ^^;

DRAE: Most probably Taichi! Though it is hard to choose between him and Yuta, Taichi’s was the one that was most tragic, because up to his dying breath he was so excited to be able to have the chance to meet his son again. I mean, even if he did survive, his son would still be dead, but somehow it just felt worse than Yuta’s since we seemed to get to know Taichi better (he worked at Towa for the company, we talked to him more and his love for his son).

V3: Another hard one, and it is between Kaede, Hoshi, and Gonta… I feel like none of these three should have died, or at least for Gonta and Hoshi, not the way that they did. Gonta’s was the one I felt the most emotional over leading up to his death because of the present feeling of how Kokichi betrayed him and the feeling of how it wasn’t even his fault, really. Kaede’s I felt the angriest at because she was 100 times a better protag than Shuichi and I loved her. It doesn’t help that her death was especially tragic and her execution was gruesome (not that Gonta’s wasn’t gruesome, but it was too weird for me to feel much). Hoshi’s I felt the saddest over during the trial because of just how not-fair this was. I don’t even hate Kirumi, I really hate the writers for the trial because of all the pointless and illogical parts of the case and how Hoshi was murdered, but I ranted enough about it.

[legendarynightmaresandwich]

My 17 Books of 2017

I swear to Glob, I’m gonna have to make this a monthly thing bc my dumb ass didn’t write down what I read every month so I sat for 30 mins straight thinking “what did I read this year?????” Then I kept confusing this year with 2016, relived the fact that I didn’t read a single book this Summer bc I had a stupid boyfriend instead, and that I won’t have any pictures of the books bc most of them were from the library and I’m lazy. 

2017. While I was still in school I exclusively read stuff for class and not pleasure. I still enjoyed the books I read, so I included them. After graduation, like I said, I acquired a dumb boyfriend, so instead of reading I wasted my life with him for three months. (Pro-Tip: Reading is always more satisfying than boys.) Moving back home, and working at a library, I read 11 books, a graphic novel, and almost half of a graphic novel series. (I’ll explain.)  It feels so good to read again! 

So the total for the year is 17. Not bad at all! So, here we go. 

Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neal Hurston 

Hooooo boy it was so good to read this book again. This book was first presented to me in high school, by a teacher I didn’t like, who treated everything we read like it was stupid. I guess that was her sense of humor. What I remember from high school is that everyone hated this book and especially hated the main character, Janie. The consensus was that Janie makes horrible decisions, relies on men too much, and is irresponsible. Talk about an anti-feminist reading. Reading the book again, being older and slightly wiser, I’ve realized that the book outlines the ways that society makes it almost impossible for a character like Janie (a woman of color, uneducated, and poor) to thrive. Her life is about survival, despite her missteps and trials she survives. My one problem with the book is that I wish Hurston explored Janie’s inner thoughts more. Other than that, this book is beautiful. 

Quote: “There is a basin in the mind where words float around on thought and thought on sound and sight. Then there is a depth of thought untouched by words, and deeper still a gulf of formless feelings untouched by thought.”

I love this quote bc instead of seeing Janie as a lost cause we should view her as untapped potential, she is so much deeper than the surface layer that I was unfortunately taught in high school. 

Native Son by Richard Wright

Here’s another book that was good to revisit in a sense. I didn’t read this in high school, but my sister’s grade and the grade before me did. And everyone hated it. Reading it in college, I am so glad that I didn’t read it in high school. Generations younger than me might be ready to read this book in high school, but my generation was not. (I am so glad that it seems like younger generations are more informed about inequality, feminism, etc.) For my grade and the kids older than me I think it was impossible for white kids, in a white high school, with white teachers, to fully understand this book. It is so EASY to read this book and view Bigger as a murderer. (It is important that he doesn’t kill on accident either. He smothers a woman, chops her up, and incinerates her.) And he is a murderer, but not exclusively. He is oppressed every way he turns, by his employers, the police, the media, his friends, his family, etc. And Bigger responds to the world’s anticipations. This book is fascinating to me in that Wright wanted to create an “Anti-Uncle Tom” character. Bigger is a bad person, and a criminal. But he also represents the inevitability of an oppressive society to fail its citizens and create monsters. 

Quote: “Men can starve from a lack of self-realization as much as they can from a lack of bread.”

Go Down, Moses by William Faulkner 

This book was HARD. Faulkner is impossible, especially when you have other classes to focus on. I survived by reading a Cliffs Notes synopsis of each chapter before and after reading it. But this book was worth the read. It’s a brief, but deep look into the practices of the antebellum South. I really liked the format of this book being a series of short stories. (But in Faulkner fashion he never tells the reader who is speaking and what time period we’re in.) 

Quote: “But you cant be alive forever, and you always wear out life long before you have exhausted the possibilities of living. And all that must be somewhere; all that could not have been invented and created just to be thrown away. And the earth is shallow; there is not a great deal of it before you come to the rock. And the earth don’t want to just keep things, hoard them; it wants to use them again.”

Counterlife by Philip Roth 

This book is extremely interesting. It’s broken into five parts and each part is an alternate version of the same awkward story. Henry has a serious heart condition. BUT the medicine that is keeping him alive makes him impotent. The only other option is to undergo an extremely dangerous surgery. In one version he dies of the surgery, in one he survives and moves to Israel, then in another his brother Nathan is impotent instead of him. The whole book is framed by Nathan who is an author. It shows how fiction can be unreliable, how authors twist the truth. We never know the “true” story. This is a structurally brilliant book, even though I’m not a huge fan of the characters. Their problems are worthy of eye-rolls. 

Quote: “And as he spoke, I was thinking, 'the kind of stories that people turn life into, the kind of lives people turn stories into.”

Attachments by Rainbow Rowell 

I read this book bc I read Fangirl and really enjoyed it. This book was just as cute and fun to read if you can get over the creepiness of the plot. Lincoln’s job is to read company emails to make sure everyone is following email policy. Emails get flagged for swearing, other code words, and anything that doesn’t seem like work to the computer system. Two women that work at the company chit-chat through email all day, not following the email rules. Lincoln reads their emails and falls in love with one of them. Like Sleepless in Seattle, the two don’t meet until the end. Again, if you can get over the lack of privacy in the plot, this book is enjoyable. I love Lincoln as a character. He’s a big, tall, lumber-jack type man who is really sweet. I also enjoyed how the book portrays working the night-shift. It’s a world I don’t think most people really know about. Lincoln is lonely and in a rut and these two hilarious women are the only bright spot in his life. 

This book is cute, and it was a good break from reading heavy stuff for class. 

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

I have always wanted to read this book. The cover is beautiful. (That shouldn’t matter...but it does.) It seems like the general consensus of this book is that it is life changing. This book will inspire you! This book will make you take the initiative to follow your dream! Snake oil. Maybe I’m cynical, but I HATED this book. It’s preachy, it’s chock full of cliches, and worst of all I cannot get over how sexist this book is. The boy character is allowed to have a dream and pursue it. But the girl’s dream is to STAY BEHIND AND WAIT FOR HIM TO COME HOME????? That’s her dream!?!? That sucks!!!!!!! That’s unacceptable to me. Every nice thought or potential mantra to be gleaned from this book is completely overshadowed by the mistreatment of the female characters. LAME. 

It by Stephen King

I read this book bc I wanted something really long to read at jury duty. This book is so long, but I honestly loved every second of it. I was borderline obsessed for two weeks of my life. I completely fell in love with the characters, my precious babies. I was always weirdly fascinated by the mini-series when I was little. I really liked getting to know the kids and then the adults. I was surprised that the book is not split half in half, but the adult scenes are mixed in with the childhood memories. I really enjoyed this book that my first reaction to seeing the new It movie was to be MAD at what they changed. That hasn’t happened in a while. (Harry Potter anyone?) I thought the tumblr love for Pennywise was funny to a certain extent, he’s pretty hilarious in the movie. But in the book...real life nightmares were had. Nothing in particular gave me a nightmare, just the overall vibe and tone of the book stressed me out and kept me awake. This book really transported me. When I was reading it, for better or for worse,  I was in the town of Derry. 

Quote: “Maybe there aren't any such things as good friends or bad friends - maybe there are just friends, people who stand by you when you're hurt and who help you feel not so lonely. Maybe they're always worth being scared for, and hoping for, and living for. Maybe worth dying for too, if that's what has to be. No good friends. No bad friends. Only people you want, need to be with; people who build their houses in your heart.”

Fair Play by Tove Jansson 

I love this book. Tove Jansson is the creator of Moomin and I only recently found out that she wrote a few books too. Fair Play was the only one my library had so I checked it out. And it was amazing. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

The more I learn about Tove, the more obviously autobiographical her books seem. This book is a series of short stories about two women who live together and learn to work around and with each other in every way. Mari is sensitive where Jonna is gruff. They are both stubborn about different things and have a beautiful symbiotic relationship. In some reviews I’ve read of this book people go out of their way to make sure it’s known that Mari and Jonna’s “sisterhood” is strictly “platonic.” I roll my eyes, bc CLEARLY they are not. They are life partners and have a deep love for each other that goes beyond just being roommates. Plus, it’s pretty obvious that Mari, a writer, is Tove Jansson, and Jonna, an artist, is her life partner and graphic designer Tuulikki Pietila. 

But back to the book. It is an absolutely beautiful series of short stories. I wouldn’t even call them stories. They are more like little snippets of daily life. They are full of subtle emotion and are written in such a straight forward but artistic way. Simple prose carries deep meaning in this book. 

Quote:  “It is simply this: do not tire, never lose interest, never grow indifferent—lose your invaluable curiosity and you let yourself die. It's as simple as that.”

The Artist of Disappearance by Anita Desai

I originally read this book for a class (Landscape Architecture of India) and to be honest I skimmed through it and wrote a bullshit book report. When I saw it in the library I wanted to try it again. This book is just three short stories I can’t believe I didn’t find time to read it before. I didn’t really like the third story, about man living in the mountains, but the first two are great. The first is about a man trying to figure out how to insure a dusty mansion full of treasures. The second is about a woman translating a work of fiction, on the brink of madness as she becomes more of a creator than strictly a translator. These two are among the best short stories I’ve read. The writing is so beautiful. 

Quote: “Everything in the house turned damp; the blue fur of mildew crept furtively over any object left standing for the briefest length of time: shoes, bags, boxes, it consumed them all. The sheets on the bed were clammy when he got between them at night, and the darkness rang with the strident cacophony of the big tree crickets that had been waiting for this, their season.”

Murder in Mesopotamia by Agatha Christie 

I’ve been meaning to read some Agatha Christie for some time now. I read And Then There Were None in high school and absolutely hated it. I was interested in this one bc I know Christie went on many archaeological digs. So I thought this book would contain interesting historical elements about archaeology in the Middle East and ancient Mesopotamian culture. Not at all. Lapis lazuli is mentioned once, cylinder seals are briefly mentioned, everything else mentioned are just “tablet fragments” and “vases.” I was disappointed. I was also really disappointed by how BORING this book is. The mystery is slightly compelling, but nothing exciting really happens. This is a Poirot mystery, another reason I picked it, but he doesn’t show up until halfway through the book! The book is narrated by a nurse. She’s tough and straightforward. I really liked her at first, but throughout the book she is straight up racist. The Middle East is a “primitive” land to her. The natives speak in a “funny, sing-song” language. She is suspicious of the native men around the dig being thieves. She’s even prejudiced against Poirot, showing much disdain toward his accent. 

At least Poirot is nice. And he solves the stupid mystery. How does a woman drink a WHOLE GLASS of acid without noticing??? This book was dumb. I don’t think I’ll read Christie again. In this instance my high school self was right. 

Norse Mythology by Neil Gaiman

I was really excited to read this book, Neil Gaiman has yet to disappoint me. I love the way this book was written. I especially loved how in the introduction Gaiman outlines all the female Norse gods whose stories have unfortunately not survived. (Makes me want to write some Norse mythology fanfiction. Nerd alert.) I love these characters, the stories are so interesting. A very good read. 

Quote: “The Norse myths are the myths of a chilly place, with long, long winter nights and endless summer days, myths of a people who did not entirely trust or even like their gods, although they respected and feared them.”

Me Before You by Jojo Moyes

Jumped on the bandwagon with this one. This was a really popular book at the library so I checked it out. It’s cute. (Bridget Jones is better.) The book promised to make me cry, but I didn’t. I really liked the main character, Lou. She’s funny and just trying to figure out her life which I related to. A quick read, VERY predictable.

After You by Jojo Moyes

I liked the Louisa character from Me Before You, so I thought I would read the sequel. It was disappointing. Everything fun and admirable about Lou is lost. The story-line where Will’s conveniently long-lost teenage daughter shows up is stupid. The love interest is boring. Really, a terrible sequel. I’m sure there’s better fan fiction out there. 

The Whispering Muse by Sjon

This book is plain weird and not my favorite. Luckily, it’s short. I like the mythological/folkloric aspects of the story. My main issue is that the main character is so unlikable. He’s pompous, annoying, and rude. Not endearing in any way. The ending is very strange. 

Autumn by Karl Ove Knaussgard

I LOVED this one. The author is writing letters to his unborn daughter. They’re not really letters though, more like small essays on completely random topics: frogs, sunset, plastic bags, embarrassment. The author has a fascinating way of thinking, and the connection to his daughter made the book sweeter. This will be the first of three, I think a book will be published for each trimester? Not sure. But I can’t wait to read the rest. 

The Fables Series by Bill Cunningham 

Fables starts out great. Fairy Tale characters in NYC, trying to survive. The premise was intriguing and the first few volumes are awesome. It was everything I wanted Once Upon A Time to be. Where OUAT is over-dramatic and embarrassing, Fables is gritty and clever. It started falling apart for me about halfway through the series.I wound up only liking a few characters that the series kept straying away from. Sitting and reading a whole, long-winded story about Little Boy Blue, when Snow White and the Big Bad Wolf are so much more interesting, got tedious. To be honest, I just skimmed through the later issues. 

Origin by Dan Brown

Dan Brown’s worst book, in my opinion. I’ll have to read some of his others again to make sure this theory pans out, but the writing in this one is so condescending. It was really annoying. It’s as if Dan Brown thinks his audience is stupid. Instead of saying “Beethoven was playing on the radio” he’ll write “18th century composer, known for works such as this and that, emitted from the iHome music player that was invented in 2005.” Every little detail has some shitty explanation. He explains what Uber is, what William Blake’s most famous poem is, "Nicolaus Copernicus … the father of the heliocentric model — the belief that the planets revolve around the sun — which ignited a scientific revolution in the 1500s"; "Friedrich Nietzsche, the renowned 19th-century German philosopher and atheist"; and "Winston Churchill himself, the celebrated British statesman who, in addition to being a military hero, historian, orator, and Nobel Prize-winning author, was an artist of remarkable talent." WE KNOW. Or you could google it! 

Honestly, the writing made this book hard to read and not be insulted by. I did like the story. It’s interesting, very contrived but it’s Dan Brown. Contrived is his middle name. This book read like a shit mystery with sentences from wikipedia copied and pasted in. 

Quote: "'Robert,' Ambra whispered, 'just remember the wise words of Disney's Princess Elsa.' Langdon turned. 'I'm sorry?' Ambra smiled softly. 'Let it go.'" (The "it" in question is Langdon's cellphone.)

I can’t believe I had to read that with my own eyes. 

Annihilation by Jeff VanderMeer

My last read of 2017. I was intrigued by the movie trailer and the cover of the book is beautiful. This book will stick with me for a while. One review describes it perfectly. 

“It’s been a long time since a book filled me with this kind of palpable, wondrous, disquiet, a feeling that started on the first page and that I’m not sure I’ve yet shaken.” -Matt Bell

This book is beautifully disturbing. And the ending is perfect! It’s a trilogy, but I don’t know if I even want to read the other two yet. I think I have to let this one marinate for a while. 

A stunning read, a great way to end the year. 

Quote:  “I am walking forever on the path from the border to base camp. It is taking a long time, and I know it will take even longer to get back. There is no one with me. I am all by myself. The trees are not trees the birds are not birds and I am not me but just something that has been walking for a very long time…”

And there you have it! My year in books. Here’s to next year!   

[hermessy]

Thoughts on SKAM

 Disclaimer : English is NOT my first language, please bear with me

Now that SKAM is over, these past few days, I couldn’t stop thinking about what made this show so good, about what made me feel so much about these characters. It might be, in my opinion, one of the best shows out there that portrays adolescence.

 What we usually in television is far from the subtlety and the rawness that we saw in SKAM. American productions such as One Tree Hill, Gossip Girl, Riverdale, Pretty Little Liars, Glee, etc. portray teens in stories where they’re often not allowed to live the lives and have the problems of average teenagers. These high school dramas, or more accurately, dramas set in high school, seek to shock, to awe, to entertain and hook us in every possible way – and that’s alright.

 The emotion that SKAM aims at is deeper; its strength derives from the fact that it’s not treated as a tool to advance the story, but that the story itself takes the time to delve into the main character’s feelings and perspective. We see and we feel through the character’s eyes and heart, the story follows his/her inner journey.

 Teens make good characters, because they feel so intensely: everything is new, everything has yet to be discovered, they get to start shaping their own view of the world. These stories are so fascinating, because the characters are in a key period of change, growth, maturing, in short, transitioning into adulthood. They are an identity in progress: they figure out how to adapt, how to adjust in their world, and search who they really are. This time of change and identity flexibility makes for compelling and rich drama.

 But whereas these other shows meddle those relations- and identity crisis on exterior conflicts, SKAM chooses to strip its stories of all these garments and present them naked in a way, to us the viewers: it is not an Upper East Side drama, it is not a vampire show, it is not a zombie show, it is not a mystery thriller… We just follow the lives, hopes, fears and heartbreaks of a group of Norwegian teenagers. And if those genre-references intervene in the story, it’s because they are integrated by the characters themselves, into the filter through which they see the world.

 SKAM touches a place of rawness and vulnerability, through the point of view of each character. The show dives into our day-to-day level, and deploys in an ordinary life story the full impact of an emotional crisis and its breakthrough.

 We are invited to follow the point of view of one character, and to empathize with it. We are invited to take part in what is possibly the greatest challenge of adolescence, and maybe our life as a whole: to transcend our shame, to transcend what makes us small, ugly, insignificant, in our own eyes and in the eyes of others.

Which each season, we witness a sort of “birth to oneself”. Each character gets to grow, overcome his/her shame, and clear the path for being the best person he/she can be.

  SKAM invites us to explore each and everyone’s shame, not as something that we, the viewers, have to distance and separate ourselves from, but as a trial we get to live through together. Because shame, being ashamed of oneself, is an experience we all live through in one form or another. The brilliance of SKAM was to offer a different experience of adolescent shame with each season; by changing its formula and opening us to new points of view, the show enabled our empathy potential and our capacity to comprehend others.

 That leads to an even stronger identification and an even stronger investment with the characters and their conflicts. The vulnerability, the naked intimacy of the characters allows a stronger projection by the viewers, responding to an urgent thirst of being recognized, being seen, to find oneself in the stories portrayed on screen.

 And, as amazed as I was by the show, I was shocked by the violence of certain reactions to some relationships and characters. It is ironic, for a show that calls to compassion, that it provokes such harsh judgement and intolerance. We stay obsessed with certain characters, but reject others without a second thought. We pick our “shames”, we accept some, and reject others and their problematic. We judge and forgive nothing, even when character development is shown.

Shame expresses itself in different forms, and its resolution can come in different forms.

It’s not because the story being told doesn’t correspond to your standards, to your expectations, to the form that you wanted it to take, that is it automatically trash.

 The hate we crystallize on some characters maybe reflects the suffering some of us had to endure in real life. But the message of SKAM is precisely to not trap anyone in the prison of judgement, to restrict the character and ourselves to the sentence we have given. Because the deep flaws and sometimes the toxic behavior of characters like William, Sara, Ingrid, even Vilde, all find their source in the way the society we live in shaped them. We are not asked to excuse them, but to understand them.

 As Sana said herself :

And as ignorant as Isak might have been when he talked with Sana about Islamophobia, he did have a point: we have to communicate and dialog with people. We are responsible for the walls that stay up and are not being brought down.

 Credits to @milakuniis for the gif I used

http://milakuniis.tumblr.com/post/161362042787/i-swear-you-sound-like-my-imam-or-something

Reconciliation goes through understanding first. Sana doesn’t have to convince herself that prejudice against Islam doesn’t exist, but she can show what Islam really is. That doesn’t take her down to the level of the Saras of this world, it is not a demonstration of good faith, to prove that she is a good person.

 It is about not letting oneself being imprisoned and limited by hate: through dialog and understanding, we can change prejudice, and become the best version of oneself we can be.

 By the way, it’s what Wonder Woman is about: she does not save the world, because the world deserves to be saved. She does it because SHE is a good person.

 And by doing so, she does make the world better.

 The suffering that minorities and oppressed of any kind experience has to be expressed, and had to imperatively be recognized. But it cannot be the last word, if we want to create room for change.

 Labels are important to articulate one’s identity. But when they become prejudices and stereotypes, they become toxic and reductive. We must not let a certain identity confine a person, and to exclude her for it. And we don’t have to decide over the legitimacy of one experience, one journey over another. We cannot defend some et exclude the others in this process of understanding and reconciliation, that the show proposes.

 Yes, empathy can also apply to those we despise, at first. It’s always a difficult message to hear, but it is an important one that the show tries to get through.

  I find here some parallels between season 2 and season 4: to find and recognize each other in spite of the differences. It’s a difficult thing to grasp, because we always feel that our suffering is not being taken seriously, that in the end, one always tries to excuse and comfort the privileged ones.

Newsflash: it doesn’t matter where we came from, our identity will always be a blending of different labels, and some will inevitably overlap with a “privileged” facet of our identity. To give legitimacy to each and everyone’s experience, is not a question of merit. It is a question of survival, of living together.

  Sexism, islamophobia, xenophobia, are real problems; but to refuse to see the person before us, who is not directly concerned by this matter, refusing to let him speak, refuse to give him the chance to evolve, it’s to trap him, and it is also an act of violence. A man cannot be anything else if we do not let him be. Refusing dialog is contributing to society’s divisions, whether we want to or not.

 You cannot out-bully the bully.

 To take a historic example: last time Europe tried to crush and humiliate its bully without giving the country in question a chance to be anything else, by taking its legitimacy and marks of respect away, Europe actively participated to the birth of the Nazi monster, and its greatest nightmare.

 We do not like to open ourselves to those in which we do not recognize ourselves. And yet, we complain of the daily divisions we are subjected to in our society. We refuse to let the one we despise speak, we refuse dialog, but by doing so, we are straying more and more from a reality where we are all reconciled.

 We create our own monsters. And worse, we prefer to maintain our monsters than to conceive and to give them the possibility of change. We prefer to actively rekindle the fires of war than to work for peace: because that does not require to question ourselves. In the end, everyone chooses to go on with his own war, rather to give room to a person one doesn’t have esteem for.

 The thing is, and we cannot cut through it: the biggest thing we are called to, as humans (and that is exactly what SKAM hints to), is to give and recognize the dignity of everyone.

 It is not to erase our differences, it is not to ignore the societal structures within which each and every one of us evolves, those structures that form our identity and our perception. It is not to ignore the blatant injustice. It is of course necessary to create a space of protest, a space where those injustices are recognized without any ambiguity.

But we also have to recognize that one injustice intersects with a thousand others that we don’t even know of.

 Lauryn Hill said “It could all be so simple, but you'd rather make it hard”. There is some obvious truth to that, but I will add to it: in reality, the situation is actually hard, and complex. But the fact that you are trying to reduce it, to simplify it by putting it into a binary perspective, is making it indeed way harder that it needs to be.

In short, we need to get over our simplistic, black and white views of the people and the world we live in.

First, we do have to recognize and to fight injustice. Of course. But to defeat injustice, it is necessary to not let her have the last word. We have to stop to hang onto her and the suffering she represents, because we identify with it. We have to stop defining ourselves and others through confrontation and division.

 In this dialog, it’s urgent to first recognize the suffering and the injustice that are being shown to us, without relativism, without compromise. And, as our identity inevitably intersects with a “privileged” label, we have to be ready to question ourselves, in one way or another.

 But then, we also have to create a space where we can recognize each other: Sana says to Isak that Islam represents the idea that all men have the same worth.

 And yes, that does apply to the Williams, the Saras and the Vildes of this world. It does only not apply to Isak and shut out the rest.

 Everyone is invited to surmount his own ignorance, to surmount his shame, to find his own dignity and to give it back to others.

 We need to give everyone a chance to redeem himself, and we need not to reduce them at their worst.

 SKAM does not say anything else than that.

 And yet, I am stunned by the outpouring of hate and bitterness in this fandom. SKAM works to show us identity as a moving thing, an evolving thing, and yet, I see nothing but people striving to pin everyone in their “shame”. SKAM calls out to surmount what attaches us to shame, to self-judgement, to widen our limited perception of others, change our gaze that traps them into what makes them “shameful”, to rather bring them to the best of themselves.

I only see a continuous and violent judgement. I have seen numerous attacks on the relationship between Noora and William, long rants on the 25 ways the relationship is toxic and abusive.

 Have we seen the same show? Has anyone heard of something called character development?

 No one in Skam, and I mean no one, is an unproblematic fave. It’s in the freakin’ title of the show : “Shame”.

The worst of us is defined by our personal shame, but the best of us is in how we surmount it.

 For example, “Willhell” changes during the course of his relationship with Noora. He changes.

 Now, the road to redemption is not a smooth ride, and I’m glad they did not portray it as such. Because, in my experience, even when we try our hardest, sometimes we fail, and sometimes we regress to our worst. But we can then be given the chance to try again.

William changes, and he changes for the better. He may never be perfect, but truthfully, who is in this show, and who is in this world?

 We, as humans, are not fixed points. We are a moving current. So, let us flow towards the best.

 And I dare say, the relationship between Noora and William portrayed in SKAM is problematic like all the rest, but engaging, rich, and beautiful nonetheless.

 And I dare add that Noora also changes for the better, through her relationship with William. Yes, I do.

 Because she, like many people on this site, including me, fights against injustice and inequality, but sometimes fails to adopt another point of view, and empathize with what she doesn’t identify with. She learns during her season not to “judge a book by its cover” -- and even if the inside does match the cover at first, there still may be room for change.

She judges William, she judges Mari, and she judges Vilde, constantly. She’s precisely a great character because she tries her best, and still sometimes falls into reductive and ignorant views – like the rest of us.

 That goes for Vilde too. How much hate have we thrown towards what was just a naïve and ignorant girl?

Again, there is no question that she is deeply ignorant on so many matters. There is no debate that on some occasion, she let herself judge others without regards to her own situation and considering her own problematic self. But are we so much better ourselves, on matters that we don’t fully comprehend? Honestly, I don’t think so.

 And it makes me laugh to see how many trash William, the manipulative fuckboy, and talk of Isak like a small ball of pure innocent sunshine. If we can forgive and empathize with one, we can do so with the other. If we can allow one to grow and mature, we can do so with the other, even if he is a cis white straight privileged male.

 Injustice is to be defeated. But that does not necessarily mean to defeat our adversaries. Or, to put it in another way, to defeat our adversary, is sometimes to make it our ally.

 My father has this saying: “Your biggest fear, can potentially become your greatest friend”.

 We can transform our adversary into our ally.

We can transform our fear into compassion.

We can transform our hate into love.

 There lies our true victory, and the goal of our greatest self.

  And last, but not least.

 We identify so much in these stories, that we forget they are not our own in the end.

 Julie Andem has written her own stories, let’s stop harassing her because she did not write what each and every one of us wanted her to write. Instead of mulling over all the things she did not do, let’s look at what she did try to convey instead. Again, for a show that tried so hard to convey the importance of having a dialog with what doesn’t necessarily represent “me”, it is sad to see that it has a pretty self-absorbed, intransigent and inflexible fandom.

 Really, I’ve sometimes come to feel like the true toxic relationship is not Noora x William, it is the one between the show and its fandom.

 No show is perfect, and Skam has certainly its flaws. But really, I must admit, now it’s over, that it was pretty damn good in so many ways. Not perfect. But for me, it stands as one of the greatest in its genre, and maybe simply one of greatest.

 So, can we stop complaining that it did not tell the story we wanted it to tell? Because that is the point of the show: to open our minds to what we don’t understand at first. Let us be surprised, by what isn’t a reflection of our identity. Who knows, maybe we can discover some new facet of ourselves within what seemed alien at first.

 A story is not trash, because it took a different route than YOU wanted to take. 

And about Sana: her story does not have to tackle every aspect of immigration, islamophobia, cultural differences, etc. Every time a show tried to encompass every possible cause, every possible aspect, every possible angle of a problem, it becomes paradoxically superficial, unsubstantial, and fake.

(This is the reason I can’t stand “13 Reasons Why”, because it tried to resume and stuff every possible reason they could find for suicide into a single storyline. Result: the protagonist greatly suffered from it, as she had no personality of her own: she was only intended and constructed to be an illustration of those aforementioned reasons. “13 Reasons Why” is less a story, and more of a demonstration. And the more exhaustive it wanted to be, the more simplistic it became. Because, truth is, you cannot pin point 13 reasons for a suicide. The reality is, and always will be, something that we cannot fully comprehend. And like no one kills himself for the same set of reasons, no one can impose in a single storyline the whole spectrum of causes.)

 One show, or one character, cannot carry the whole weight of the world on its shoulders. It cannot be a spokesperson for every problem in our society.

 I’ve seen that the last season of SKAM divided a lot of people; some say it did not have a story; some say it had too many; some say it had no focus, and did not go anywhere.

 I, personally, don’t agree with those statements. While I do think the season deserved at least one more episode centered around Sana, to tie up loose ends and give us scenes with actual resolutions, instead of just hinting at it, I was moved and satisfied with this season.

 So, if Sana’s story doesn’t comprehend every aspect that every one, everywhere, wanted it to comprehend, it’s perfectly normal. Because she can only tell her own story, complex enough in her own right. Sana’s season told the story of a muslim girl brought up in Norway. It’s a specific story, in a specific setting, so again, don’t freak out because it did not include everything you wanted it to include.

And stop saying she was portrayed as a victim. Or as a bully. Because it actually showed how she surmounted both, and found real strength in forgiveness.

 No story is unproblematic, because without problematic, there would be no stories. So, let us not expect nothing but perfect balls of sunshine everywhere. Let us appreciate how each of these characters surmounts their own restrictions, resolves their conflict, to be a better person. And this battle is never over, and is never done once and for all: it is a lifelong struggle.

And the resolution of a conflict does not always come as we intended it to be. Asking for forgiveness, and to forgive, are acts that can come in different forms. I found in my experience, that reconciliations can sometimes emerge in the most unexpected ways. So maybe let us pay more attention to that.

 But, in the end, if I had to resume the flaws of this show, it would be that it did not explore some stuff as far as I would have, especially in the last season who did deserve at least one more episode, to have a more substantial closure on some plot points. I am more than happy that it ended on a high note, I only wish we would have had more time to see how these various reconciliations came to be.

 But overall, thank you SKAM. You manage to have a more subtle, complex and rich story through the daily lives of these teenagers, than a great many shows out there.

 Alt er love.

 Takk for alt.

[thekindmagic]

7 deadly sins and FFXV male characters (main4+Ardyn, Ravus, Cor)

Alright, Anon, yeah, this ask is super cool??! Let’s dothis…

(I’m doing the paired-up deadly sins andheavenly virtues, because I like to think about strengths and weaknesses andhow those things correlate and contradict each other, because I’m a big damnnerd)

Cor: Pride/Humility

Not so much from anything in-game as somethingI’d like to see explored with him?? (I’m putting him first because he’sthe only one I wasn’t particularly inspired over and I’m kinda… getting him outof the way…)He was entrusted with King Regis’s protection at age fifteen. He has an incredible reputation, he’sobviously a phenomenally skilled warrior, and people talk about him like death can’t touch him. How do you sustain thatlevel of success and praise from such a young age and not develop some sort ofcomplex, how do you not start buying into your own myth? (These are my CrisisCore feelings bleeding through…)I mean, when he apologizes for Regisdying, he says it like he assumes he would have been able to stop it all byhimself?? That’s fascinating, it’s a level of self-assurance and responsibilitythat would go to anybody’s head and change the way they see the world.I’d like to think that Cor works very hard not to take his abilities andstatus for granted, because he just never fails,but he knows how dangerous it is to fall into complacency… For the short timehe’s in the party, he defers to Ignis for making a plan and constantly keeps aneye out for Prompto, he makes a concerted effort to work with the team. That’san interesting show of humility for a war hero. …But then again, he’s willing to split the three guys off and send them torisk their lives as a diversion because he’s unilaterally decided it’s the bestway to achieve the goal. He balances everything really well, he seemslike a pretty healthy character, but I’d like to see more of how this works inhis head, and the struggle it must have been for him when he was younger…

Noctis: Sloth/Diligence

Yeah, yeah, he sleeps a lot, pfft, obvious Iknow… Just stay with me, okay??Noctis spends the whole game fighting for the “never say die”motivation he needs to play his role in this story. Hell, he spends all ofBrotherhood looking for it, too. For the longest time, he doesn’t feel it. He’s depressed and almost hopelessand can’t see a way forward, so he mentally retreats. I’m not blaming him forit at all, but the sort of… stagnationhe falls into goes pretty neatly under what people usually mean when they talkabout sloth as a sin. He’s unmotivated. He’s young. He’s lost. He’d rather hide and sleep and playvideo games and fish.But he also knows that’s not an option, at least notlong-term.He knows he had responsibilities the second he was born, that people areliving and dying for him, that he has a place written out for him in the cosmoswhether he wants it or not. So he tries.It’s shaky and it’s miserable and it’s hard, but he pulls himself forward andgets his friends to help him push, he holds on to Luna and his father as theserole models for the life and duties he has to accept, and he keeps going. I love this poor little guy so much, he deserved so much better: he ranhimself into the ground until he thought he had nothing left, and then the godsasked for more. If for no other reason, I love the after-credits scene because he finally getsto rest.

Prompto: Envy/Kindness

This one was the easiest for me, I thought ofit even before the really obvious one with “sloth” and Noctissleeping all the time.Because this is the disparity that drives pretty much everything aboutPrompto?? (Ugh, this feels so self-explanatory to me that it’s hard toput it into words…)Just: “All thatpain, and misery, and loneliness, and it just made him kind”But it also left him reeling, and without any realsense of self?? As forgiving and understanding as he is of others, as much ashe believes they deserve support and always jumps to be the first to supportthem, he has incredibly highexpectations for himself, and he hates itwhen he doesn’t meet them. He literally tells Noctis on the hotel roof thathe’s jealous of Ignis and Gladio, he talks about how he feels like an outcastand wants to belong. Since he was a kid, he’s wanted all the things that seemedto come so easily to the people around him, the way they could walk into a roomand feel like they deserved to be there.But instead of that envy making him bitter, it just makes him hyper-aware ofpeople who might feel the same?? He’s so good and respectful with kids, he’s socareful to help and support Ignis after he’s been blinded, he even reaffirms toGladio that they missed him while he was gone after he rejoins the party.Whenever anybody might be in a vulnerable position, Prompto is right there, because he knows how awful itfeels and genuinely wants to help.(Sunshine boy

Ignis: Greed/Charity

I’m wincing at having to put the word“greed” anywhere near thisselfless angel… But at the same time??The knots he ties himself in are all tangled up in the fact that he wantsthings on behalf of other people, (specifically Noctis,) but god, he still wants them. Enough that his good wishes andgenerosity and honest desire to help are strong enough and mean enough to himthat he’s actually willing to potentially compromise his own goals.I can’t tell where the line is anymore between shipping and characteranalysis, but listen: genuinely, what Ignis wants is to be with Noctis. I wrote a whole thing about this, I’m notgonna reiterate it, but… Even their fight in Brotherhood came down to Ignis notknowing how to deal with the communication breakdown between them, and tryingto pull Noctis forward to him instead of acknowledging the distance. He wantsthem on the same page so hard that he sabotages their relationship. (I mean,it’s not entirely his fault obviously -Noctis’s shitty coping mechanisms certainly play their part…) Ignis wants everythingto work, he wants Noctis to succeed, he wants to be there for it and to play apart - he wants all of that so bad that he accidentally misses all the ways hecould actually be helping. He getsbetter at dealing with it by the time the game rolls around, he’s careful toonly ever offer to talk or spend time making breakfast, not to overstep, not tohold too tight… He’s always very conscious of what he’s giving and what he’sgetting back.I said I wouldn’t repeat that other meta, but damn, in Chapter 10, Ignis iswilling to die if it means he gets moretime with the group, that’s how deeply it runs, that’s how badly he wants. He’swilling to die even though Noctis and his friends so desperately want him to besafe. He’s willing to make that incredibly selfish sacrifice, he’s an enigmawrapped inside a riddle wrapped inside a taco, he can’t carve out his love andwanting even for the sake of the very person he loves and wants to be with.

Gladio: Gluttony/Temperance

Okay no wait let me explain?? It’s not just acup noodle joke, I swear!!“Gluttony” as a deadly sin is something I’ve always interpreted as… indulgence, I guess? Gladio does not have self-control. He does not regulate his impulses. He saysand does what he feels like, the second he feels like saying or doing it. He’sapparently socially outgoing, (though I tend to doubt he’s really as successfulat maintaining relationships as he’d like us to believe,) he apparently makestime for sex and flirting and all the rest. He makes jokes without thinkingabout their impact, and when he’s angry he yells and even gets physical. Hedoesn’t appear know how to restrain himself from committing 110% all the timeto every emotion and instinct he has. …At the same time, he’s an impeccably trained warrior, and a bookworm, andgives constant lectures about duty and control. We know from his backstory thathe got a scar that he could have avoided because he’d rather get hurt than hurta citizen in his capacity as the King’s Shield. I think he knows exactly wherehis weak points are, and he tries to compensate with his “knowthyself” routine and the way he kind of lets his job rewrite his identity.To a certain extent, he wants his world put in order for him; he wants to betold where the rules and limits are so he can stick to them. It’s when thingsgo off-book and he loses those guidelines for what is and isn’t allowed that hereally loses track of himself. He doesn’t want to lose control - he just has no coping mechanisms, he’s neverbeen made to confront the idea that he’s outof control.I wrote a whole thing about that too, I don’t want to getrepetitive…(And yes: there’s also his borderline fetish for cup noodles.)

Ardyn: Lust/Chastity

A fairly easy match, actually?? I’m not using “lust” so much in the sexual sense here, (none of theboys really fit that,) but more in the “lustfor power” way… The difference I see between greed and lust is that greed is a desire to have something, and it’s the thing you wantthat perpetuates the problem for you - whether you deserve it, whether you needit, whether you should be grateful for what you already have… With lust, thething itself doesn’t actually matter: it’s the way you feel about it that’s the issue, the obsessiveness, the way itconsumes you. It’s addictive and self-fulfilling, you want to want it, to revel in the desire: that’s what we see inArdyn the whole damn way. Whatever your read on him is, there’s really no end-goal here?? Whether hegenuinely wants to kill Noctis for revenge on the gods, or is secretly hopingto die in the process and put an end to everything… it almost doesn’t matter.Because Ardyn is too caught up in his own story to think that rationally, he’sempty and addicted to whatever makes him feel real and alive. Most of the time, that seems to be spite. But his angerisn’t an impulse like Gladio’s or a coping mechanism like Ravus’s - his angeris sensual. He loves being petty and bitter and spiteful, he loves the way it feels. He loves it almost ironically I think: it’s just so far from anything he ever felt before. The story of him as a king is self-sacrificial, he was a saint and a healerand every “pure white mage” trope character Final Fantasy has everproduced. He didn’t think of or gratify himself, he sort of sacrificed himselfat the altar of other people’s darkness and corruption. And now that darkness and corruption is all that’s been left to him.And in a twisted sort of way, he’s still being a martyr: he’splaying the part designed for him by the gods.The difference is that he’s got nothing pure or honest left in him anymore,and if this is what he’s been driven to, he’s going to enjoy every second ofit.(Honestly the sort of… perversion of him arranging the bodies in thethrone room played a big role in this decision too, as did his constant bedroomeyes and seduction voice. Ardyn lovesmaking a mockery of intimacy, but that’s a whole different post…)

Ravus: Wrath/Patience

What this boy does with his glorified walk-onrole is amazing to me, I’m low key thinking about Ravus a lot lately??He is so mad all the time about everything, and honestly he has the right tobe - what happened to Noctis at the beginning of the game happened to Ravuswhen he was sixteen, except Ravus didn’t have the luxury of best friends and aprophecy to go start a story of his own. What he had was a sister who wasseverely at risk from the same Empire that killed their mother, a country thatwas almost fully occupied, and a shitload of anger that he had to tamp down andchannel and find a way to live with. If we’re talking survival, Ravus really had no choice but to cooperate withthe Empire - I sort of view his grudge against Regis and Noctis as a copingmechanism, him displacing all the hatred he has for his place in the Empire,(all his resentment toward himself,) andprojecting it back on the people he’s made himself believe could have preventedhim from ever having to be in this situation. He’s so mad, it burns him up, but he’s gotten so good at saying “no, Ican’t, not today.” He’s so good at being quiet, for Luna’s sake and for his own, at turning away even whenhe’s humiliated and furious, at holding himself back when he knows it wouldn’thelp.And then obviously, when he doeslet himself get angry, he’s terrifying and unpredictable and does things likesend Gladio flying into a car or rebel against the Empire and get himselfkilled.His death as a daemon is the worst, because even though his instinct hasalways been to fight… Not like this, youknow? He spent so long trying to handle all the violence warring in him, andthen at the end Ardyn doesn’t leave him any choice: he’s made to succumb toit.(Again, compare him with Gladio please, they’re fascinating foils??)

…That’s probably more than you wanted, but it was really fun to do, so??

[dazzledbybooks]

As a young ballerina in Paris, young adult novelist A. K. Small studied at the famous Académie Chaptal and later danced with companies across the US. Inspired by the dancers from her childhood, Small weaves a vivid story of a fiercely competitive female friendship in her dazzling debut, Bright Burning Stars (Publication Date: May 21, 2019; $17.95). Following two teens fighting for center stage and a spot in the Opera’s prestigious corps de ballet, this page-turning novel explores the lengths it takes to turn talent into a career. A gifted new writer, Small brings the reader into the passionate world of ballet all while telling an engrossing story of female friendship. Kate and Marine have trained since childhood at the Paris Opera Ballet School where they formed an intense bond after respective family tragedies. Their friendship seems unshakeable until their final year when only one girl can be selected for a place in the Opera’s company. The physically demanding competition takes an emotional toll, and their support for each other starts to crumble. Marine’s eating disorder begins to control her life as she consumes less and dances more, and Kate discovers the depths of depression and the highs of first love as she falls for the school heartthrob—who also happens to be Marine’s dance partner. As rankings tighten and each day is one step closer to the final selection, neither girl is sure just how far she’ll go to win. With nuance and empathy, the intense emotions of teenage years are amplified in Small’s debut as the girls struggle with grief, mental health issues, and relationships, all set against the glamorous backdrop of Paris. With the incredible success of the film Black Swan and dance reality TV shows today, dance seems to be more popular than ever. Kirkus Reviews praises the debut as “addictive, angst-y, and heartfelt” while Entertainment Weekly.com calls out that Bright Burning Stars is “notable for the way it tackles sensitive topics such as mental illness and eating disorders”. In Bright Burning Stars, debut author A. K. Small pens a stunning, propulsive story about girls at their physical and emotional extremes, the gutting power of first love, and what it means to fight for your dreams. Praise: “Bright Burning Stars is the compulsively readable story. I was breathless and battling tears up until the very last stunning turns onstage and beyond. A dazzling, heart-wrenching debut.” — Nova Ren Suma, #1 New York Times bestselling author of A Room Away from the Wolves “The fascinating, competitive ballet world may get the YA novel it deserves with Bright Burning Stars...Pitched as an immersive, propulsive story into the world of ballet, Bright Burning Stars is also notable for the way it tackles sensitive topics such as mental illness and eating disorders.” —EntertainmentWeekly.com Review: Normally I don't put a warning on books but I felt like this one needed it. This book has a lot of dark themes. They aren't all handled well. Proceed with caution. Bright Burning Stars by A.K. Small is told in a dual POV.  Kate and Marine are best friends. They became instant friends their first year of training together. Due to the ruthless and cutthroat nature of the ballet school, these two deal with a lot of insecurities and disorders. Then of course you have to have a male student that they both crush on. There are a lot of difficulties to this friendship. I felt like the plot was a little all over the place. I felt that thee was a lot of story arcs that weren't wrapped up so cleanly. I felt like the characters were extremely shallow. Here are my thoughts. It is great that A.K. Small wanted to tack all of these dark subjects but it would have been nice if we only have a couple vs the sixteen different dark themes. I also thought that the dark themes could have been handled better. Things magically being fixed and going away isn't practical so it would have been nicer to have a more realistic process for the issues. A.K. Small definitely brought issues to the for front of readers minds. I just don't feel like she did anything but glorify the issues. The book itself is a pretty fast read and the characters are easy to get to know as they are pretty shallow. I do like dark themes being address just wish there was more substance and resolutions for them. Excerpt: 1. Marine We stood outside the circular studio in the apex of the dance annex. Some of us obsessively rose up and down in first position to break the soles of our shoes, while others, like the boys, tucked their t-shirts into their tights and cracked their necks for luck. I didn’t do anything but clutch Kate’s hand. Kate and I always held hands before the weekly générales. But before I could ask her what she thought the new ratings would be, who would outshine whom on The Boards after only a week and four days of ballet classes and rehearsals in our final year at Nanterre, my name was called first. A bad omen: in six years of dancing here, the faculty had never switched us out of alphabetical order before. Isabelle The Brooder always started. I danced third. “Break a leg,” Kate said in English before I stepped into the studio, which made me smile because saying things in her mother tongue was Kate’s way of showing love. Inside the vast round room, three judges—judging deities really—sat erect behind a long folding table. Valentine Louvet, the director, was on the left, her dark hair twisted into a loose knot and rings adorning her fingers. She would sometimes look up at the giant skylight and I would swear that her lips moved, that she discussed students with Nijinsky’s ghost through the thick glass. Francis Chevalier, the ballet master, an older man with sweat stains radiating from under his arms, was on the right. While you danced, he rhythmically jabbed the tip of his cane into the floor. In the middle sat The Witch, aka Madame Brunelle, in glasses and a tight bun. When she disliked a student’s movement, which was almost always, we all whispered that worm-like silver smoke seeped from her nostrils and her ears. I didn’t look them in the eyes for fear of turning to salt. Instead, I hurried to the yellow X that demarked center, taking note of all the mirrors that wrapped around me like gauze. I tried not to criticize my reflection, how I was one kilogram fatter than when I’d last performed in May. I’d found out earlier this morning, courtesy of Mademoiselle Fabienne, the school nutritionist. Weigh-ins here were like random drug tests. You were called and asked to step onto the beastly scale whenever faculty felt like it. Now, all I could do was suck my stomach in and pray it didn’t affect my score. I placed my right foot on the tape, my left in tendu behind, then waited for the pianist’s introduction. As I offered the judges my most heartfelt port de bras, I concentrated on the ivory of my leotard, an atrocious color on me, yet a coveted symbol of my new elite rank. Seven other sixteen year-old rat-girls and I had risen to First Division. The variation we were to perform today was obscure, from The Three Musketeers, but I didn’t mind. Actually, I preferred low profile dances. The pressure somehow felt less. I also liked the three-count waltz, the way the notes filled up inside me, the rush of the C major melody, all making me zigzag across the studio. Music was why I kept going, my ticking heart. As the piano filled the air, my arms felt fluid, my balances sharp, and my leaps explosive. Even my hunger diminished. I steered myself from left to right then from front to back. My spirits lifted and my nerves calmed. Vas-y. I can do this, I thought. And then I remembered to give the judges my stage smile. Maybe I’ll rise from Number 3 to Number 2. During a slow triple pirouette, I held my foot above my knee, balanced, and stuck my landing in perfect fourth position, the number 2 floating like an angel’s halo above my head. But then I forgot to anticipate the piano’s shift in keys, the sudden acceleration. Realizing I was an eighth of a note off, I skipped a glissade to catch up to my saut de chat. Ne t’en fais pas, I told myself. Adjust. Yet, at once, The Witch stood up and snapped her fingers, silencing the music. “I thought you were here because of your auditory gift, Duval,” Madame Brunelle said. “Don’t students call you The Pulse?” I looked down at my feet. I hadn’t gone through three fourths of the variation. “They must be wrong. Would you like to have someone else come in and demonstrate? Teach you whole notes from half notes?” “No,” I whispered. “Miss Sanders,” Madame Brunelle yelled. Kate poked her head inside the studio. A joke, I thought. Kate was a dynamic ballet dancer but well known for her lack of rhythm. “Mademoiselle Duval needs help with her waltz tempo. Would you run the variation through for her?” What? Kate nodded. She tiptoed into the studio, setting herself on the X the way I had done earlier. “Shadow her, Duval,” Madame Brunelle ordered. She snapped her fingers and the pianist began again. I danced behind Kate. We moved in unison, gliding into long pas de basques, arms extended. Kate seemed weightless, her heels barely touching the ground. A genuine smile fluttered on her lips. Her ivory leotard fitted her long narrow frame like skin. Blue crystal teardrops dangled from her ears as she spun. They glittered like fireflies. All of Kate glittered. The afternoon sun poured in from the skylight, lighting her up like a flame. The variation lasted a million years. At every step, my face grew hotter. The studio door had been left wide open, so I saw in the mirror’s reflection that other First Division dancers were peering inside and watching our odd duo. A wave of humiliation nearly toppled me. Madame Brunelle did not stop the music this time. She waited for Kate and me to finish with our révérence, then she dismissed us with a flick of the finger. I ducked out of the studio into the stairwell and didn’t wait for Kate. I could have sought refuge in the First Division dressing rooms but that was too obvious a hiding place so I rushed down three flights of stairs and into the courtyard. A mild September breeze blew. I fought back tears. It would have been easier, I thought, if The Witch had picked someone else. Anyone else. But Kate? Pitting me against my best friend? I wished I could keep walking past the trees, alongside the fence, out of the gates, down L’Allée de La Danse, to the metro, all the way home to the center of Paris and my mother’s boulangerie. There, inside with the warmth and the sugary smells, I would find a tight hug, an, “It’s okay, Chérie. You don’t have to do this unless you want to.” But I knew I wouldn’t. I’d have to go back to the dorms to change into street clothes or at least take off my pointe shoes and then I’d see Oli’s battered demi pointes on my bed. Plus, I’d come this far. Hadn’t I? Only 274 days until the final Grand Défilé. Judgment Day: when everyone, except for two strikingly gifted students—one female, one male—got fired in the top division. I plopped down into the middle of the courtyard and found the sky. How could I have messed up on tempo? I closed my eyes and inhaled. “Hey!” Kate yelled a minute later. I started. She stood at the entrance of the courtyard, breathing hard. “Do you think you could have gone a little faster?” she said, crossing her arms. She was still in her leotard, tights, and pointe shoes. Her neck flushed bright red from running. Wisps of blond hair framed her face. “You hurtled down the stairs like a bat out of hell, M. I thought you were going to tumble and fall.” Bat out of hell? I nearly corrected her and said that here we used comme un bolide—like a rocket—but instead I replied, voice sharp, “Too bad I didn’t.” “You don’t mean it,” she said. “Mistakes happen. You’re only human.” Kate sat down beside me. She smelled woodsy, even after she danced. We watched as pigeons flittered around the bright white buildings. On our left were the dorms with their common rooms at the bottom. In front, the dance annex loomed. It was known for its grand staircase, bay windows, cafeteria, and Board Room where all big decisions were made. On the right was the academic wing with classrooms and faculty offices. Little pathways led from one building to the others with awnings in case of rain. If I turned around, I could peek at the high concrete wall hidden between oak trees. Sometimes I wondered if the barrier was there to keep rats from fleeing or strangers from trespassing. Kate squeezed my ankle then flashed me her best smile. “The Witch is an asshole. Seriously. Don’t sweat it.” At her touch, my eyes filled. The tempo mix up hadn’t been Kate’s fault. Only mine. I quickly wiped the tears with the back of my hand. “Have I told you that I dig wearing ivory?” Kate said. “Last night, I called my dad and tried to explain it to him. How good it felt to parade around in this sublime color. I said it was like receiving the freaking Medal of Honor but he didn’t get it.” “Of course not.” I shook my head. And just like that, the weird moment between us, the resentment I’d felt at having to dance behind her, passed. I was about to tell her that after what had happened in the circular studio I would probably never wear ivory again, when younger rats came out into the courtyard, disturbing our privacy. Everyone always whispered about everyone else while waiting for ratings. Within the hour, the Board Room would open. Rankings would be posted on the wall. Rats who were rated below fifth place might be sent home. Now and again, I’d see a parent waiting by the school entrance and the wretched sight would make me flinch. But Kate, who was always at my side, would loop an arm around me and say, “Face it, M. Not everyone is cut out for this.” Her thick skin soothed me today. “God, I can’t stand the sitting around,” Kate said. “Let’s play Would You.” “I thought you and I banned that game,” I replied. Kate laughed. “Things don’t go away just because you want them to, Miss Goody Two-Shoes. Or because the stupid rules say so.” I slapped her shoulder. “Ouch. Loosen up. I go first,” she said. “Would you die for The Prize?” The Prize. What every rat girl and boy was after: the large envelope with a red wax stamp on the back, a single invitation to become part of the Paris Opera’s corps de ballet. The thought of seeing that envelope made me dizzy with possibility. I almost said yes but she cut me off. “If I close my eyes,” Kate said. “I feel the envelope’s weight in my hands, the warm wax beneath my thumbs. It’s damn near euphoric.” I looked away. Kate’s hunger for success, for being the Chosen One was sometimes so acute that it frightened me. “Are you asking because of Yaëlle?” The Number 3 rat from last year, a sweet girl from Brittany, once our roommate, had been found in her tiny single, lying atop her twin bed, in her ballet clothes, bones protruding at strange angles, eyes sunk deep in their sockets, dead a few days before Le Grand Défilé last May. She’d starved herself in the name of The Prize. Ever since, we’d all been on edge. Summer hadn’t changed the mood. If anything, getting back together after a few months away had heightened the sense of dread. “You’re not answering my question.” “No,” I decided. “I wouldn’t die for The Prize. Would you?” “Yes,” Kate said. “Absolutely.” There was no hesitation in her voice. “I’ve got another,” she said. “Would you hurt The Ruler for The Prize?” Gia Delmar, the Ruler. Always Number 1 on the boards, she was our biggest rival but this wasn’t the time to think about her. Not before rankings. “I wouldn’t hurt anyone,” I said, then I added, “Would you rehearse night and day?” “Yes. But would you do drugs?” “Would you?” “Rehearse night and day, sure. Drugs? Maybe.” “Kate!” I said. “Would you try to suck up to Monsieur Chevalier?” “No. But maybe Louvet.” Kate laughed. “I know. Would you sleep with The Demigod?” The Demigod? I shivered. Like The Ruler, The Demigod was off limits. As a rare conservatory transfer, he’d magically appeared in Second Division one sunny day last February and had outdone everyone. I didn’t want to think about the leaders, the rats most likely to succeed, even if they were supremely sexy. “No,” I answered. “Of course not. Would you?” “Maybe.” “That’s sick,” I said. “Sleeping with someone to climb the ladder?” Kate lowered her voice. “The Demigod is different, M. You know. Everybody knows. Even faculty. Look how they gawk at him. His talent is greater than the sun and the stars combined. Proximity to him is—” she paused, searching for her words. “The key to everything. Think of it as Lee Krasner, Jackson Pollock’s lover, collaborating with him on a canvas. Except that our canvas is four dimensional, made up of flesh, of bodies. Lee’s paint strokes had to intensify, right? The Demigod’s balletic gift, his glow, rubs off like glitter on his partners. Haven’t you noticed? Anyone who spends time with him in and out of the studio shoots up on The Boards. M, he is The King. You know what dance is? The art of the sensual. Electricity, entanglement, ease. You partner with him and you will blow the roof off this effing place. Plus,” she sucked in her breath, kept me in suspense. “He’s got the hottest quads in the universe.” I imagined Cyrille flying into splits, his thighs stiffening under silver tights, what his hands might feel like clasping mine if I was ever asked to partner with him. My whole body warmed. Kate was right. The Demigod was like food, like one of my mother’s pastries. You knew that eating it was bad for you, but you just couldn’t help yourself. I was about to warn Kate that the Greek demigods, as attractive as they were, ate their young and their lovers when Monsieur Arnaud, the groundkeeper, walked over to the old fashioned bell and rang it. The wooden doors creaked open and all the dancers scurried inside the Board Room. I still sat outside, frozen. What if I was ranked fifth or lower and got sent home? I thought of Oli. My promise to dance for him no matter what. Failing was not an option. Kate snagged my hand and pulled me up. “Come on, sweetie,” she said. I reluctantly followed her in. About the Author: A.K. Small was born in Paris. At five years old, she began studying classical dance with the legendary Max Bozzoni, then later with Daniel Franck and Monique Arabian at the famous Académie Chaptal. At thirteen, she moved to the United States where she danced with the Pacific Northwest Ballet for one summer in Seattle and with the Richmond Ballet Student Company for several years. She’s a graduate of the College of William and Mary and has an MFA in fiction from Vermont College of Fine Arts. When she’s not writing, she spends time with her husband, her puppy, and her three daughters, and practices yoga. Bright Burning Stars is her first novel.

http://www.dazzledbybooks.com/2019/05/brightburningstarsblogtour.html

[ohmontague]

❝ ❀ ☕ ✎ *.:｡ Belle Desrosiers + 100 Questions

Basic Character Questions First name? Isabelle Surname? Desrosiers Middle names? Christine Nicknames? Belle, worm (by Maurice), Beauty Date of birth? September 4, 1993 Age? 23

Physical / Appearance Height? 5’4” Weight? Average Build? Slender Hair colour? Medium brown Hair style? Mid-length Eye colour? Brown Eye Shape? Wide Glasses or contact lenses? Glasses for driving (too many years of reading below the cover with a flashlight shot her eyesight) Distinguishing facial features? Large brown eyes Which facial feature is most prominent? Eyes Which bodily feature is most prominent? Hair Other distinguishing features? Wide smile Skin? Pale, clear Hands? Small, lithe fingers. Usually sans nail polish or rings (they get in the way, and frankly, she gets frustrated by constantly having to reapply nail polish) Make up? Simple Scars? None Birthmarks? None Tattoos? None Physical handicaps? Nearsighted Type of clothes? Vintage and French inspired How do they wear their clothes? Neatly, though she doesn’t have time to iron/press What are their feet like? (type of shoes, state of shoes, socks, feet, pristine, dirty, worn, etc): Wears clean flat shoes (boots or flats) Race / Ethnicity? White, Jewish Mannerisms?: bits lip, fidgets, plays with hair, picks at nail polish Are they in good health? Yes Do they have any disabilities? No

Personality What words or phrases do they overuse? “Beautiful”, “classic”, “ridiculous”, “I was reading”/”I saw this documentary”/”I heard about” Do they have a catchphrase? See above (she’s constantly reading wikipedia articles or reading useless trivia websites and can’t help but find everything fascinating) Are they more optimistic or pessimistic? Optimistic Are they introverted or extroverted? Introverted Do they ever put on airs? Not really What bad habits do they have? See mannerisms What makes them laugh out loud? Bad jokes, physical comedy, satire How do they display affection? Lots of physical contact, looking after people when they’re sad, buying little gifts, “I saw this thing online and thought of you”, saying she loves people Mental handicaps? Socially anxious How do they want to be seen by others? Smart, witty feminist How do they see themselves? Anxious bookish nerd How are they seen by others? Passionate feminist nerd Strongest character trait? Imaginative Weakest character trait? Headstrong How competitive are they? She can be in the right situations Do they make snap judgements or take time to consider? She can make snap judgments about people’s character How do they react to praise? Depending on the person giving, either blushing or a heart “Thank you!” How do they react to criticism? Depending on the person, she either snaps or sulks (harsh criticism); genuine criticism has fairly varied reactions, depending on what the person’s criticizing and how touchy she is about the subject. What is their greatest fear? It was losing her father; now, she doesn’t know. What are their biggest secrets? She’s socially anxious, she misses her mother even though she doesn’t remember her, and sometimes she doubts the existence of God. What is their philosophy of life? Be kind to those less fortunate to make their lives a little easier and hopefully make the world a better place for the next generation When was the last time they cried? A few nights ago, thinking about her father What haunts them? The spyglass her father gave to her at her graduation What are their political views? Staunchly liberal What will they stand up for? The underdog, her family, her opinions about books, most things to be honest Who do they quote? Lots of poets and writers as well as artists and stand up comedians Are they indoorsy or outdoorsy? Indoorsy, but she likes the outdoors What is their sinful little habit? Sometimes she’ll go through an entire box of mini cupcakes in one sitting What sense do they most rely on? Sight How do they treat people better than them? With as much respect as she’s given How do they treat people worse than them? With more kindness than they deserve What quality do they most value in a friend? Loyalty and kindness What do they consider an overrated virtue? Chastity If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be? Her temper What is their obsession? Books, books, and more books. (Also, travel, making the world a better place, and being kind) What are their pet peeves? Ignorance, people who share memes on Facebook, people who say the movie was better, people who don’t appreciate what they’ve been given, people who assume she wants to get/is married, people who misinterpret classic literature What are their idiosyncrasies? Hates clocks but keeps one of her father’s by her bed; claims to hate Adam but would protect him with her life; self-assured but also incredibly anxious

Friends and Family Is their family big or small? Who does it consist of? Very small, now. She’s an orphan because of her father’s death. What is their perception of family? Family is your blood (though this will change_ Do they have siblings? Older or younger? Only child Describe their best friend. (TBD) Ideal best friend? Kind, forgiving, a good sense of humor, passionate about something Describe their other friends. (TBD) Describe their acquaintances. (TBD) Do they have any pets? Two cats, Billy and Charlie Who are their natural allies? Book lovers, social justice enthusiasts, travel bloggers, liberal arts students Who are their surprising allies? Adam

Past and Future What was your character like as a baby? As a child? As a baby, she was fussy and colicky. As a toddler, she loved to explore and often wound up in scraps. Did they grow up rich or poor? Solidly middle class Did they grow up nurtured or neglected? Nurtured What is the most offensive thing they ever said? Once accidentally said “Fuck” at age three after hearing Maurice swear after dropping a wrench on his foot. It took him a week to shake the habit from her. What is their greatest achievement? Getting accepted to a school she loved. What was their first kiss like? Hasn’t happened yet What is the worst thing they did to someone they loved? Called her father an absent-minded tyrant dwelling on the past once in anger What are their ambitions? To be published What advice would they give their younger self? Keep reading. It’ll keep you sane. What smells remind them of their childhood? Grease, fresh paint, lilacs, library books, new car smell, paper towels, the seaside, vinyl couch What was their childhood ambition? To be a spy or else an adventurer What is their best childhood memory? Papa watching old movies with her while they made brownies What is their worst childhood memory? Being bullied as a child Did they have an imaginary childhood friend? Yes. Her name was Violetta and she was a princess-turned-spy in a kingdom where every street had a library. When was the last time they were crushed with disappointment? Her novel being rejected from a publisher What past act are they most ashamed of? Being cruel to one of her friends because they’d made a separate friend other than her What past act are they most proud of? Throwing cold soup in a bully’s face because he was being cruel to one of her friends Has anyone ever saved their life? Yes, Adam Strongest childhood memory? Her father working overtime so he could afford to buy her a new bike

Love Do they believe in love at first sight? Yes Are they in a relationship? No How do they behave in a relationship? Generally the same as with a friendship, but with more kissing. When did you character last have sex? TBD What sort of sex do they have? TBD Has your character ever been in love? No Have they ever had their heart broken? No

Conflict How do they respond to a threat? Depending on the threat, she either lashes back or remains quiet Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? Tongue What is your character’s kryptonite? Threatening her loved ones If your character could only save one thing from their burning house, what would it be? Her first edition of The Great Gatsby How do they perceive strangers? Wonderful creatures of humanity What do they love to hate? Reality TV, vapidness, ignorance What are their phobias? Fire, spiders What is their choice of weapon? A well-aimed dictionary What living person do they most despise? Gaston Have they ever been bullied or teased? Yes Where do they go when they’re angry? Her mother’s grave, just to talk to her mother Who are their enemies and why? None at present

Work, Education and Hobbies What is their current job? French tutor What do they think about their current job? She likes it well enough, but it’s tedious What are some of their past jobs? Bookstore clerk, summer camp counselor, babysitter What are their hobbies? Reading, writing, going for walks, painting, watching old movies Educational background? BA in English Intelligence level? High Do they have any specialist training? No Do they have a natural talent for something? She has a strong memory and can remember almost all she reads Do they play a sport? Are they any good? Ha. No. What is their socioeconomic status? Middle class

Favourites What is their favourite animal? Cat Which animal to they dislike the most? Wolf What place would they most like to visit? Italy What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen? The sunrise from the top of a mountain What is their favourite song? “Circle Game” - Joni Mitchell Music, art, reading preferred? Classical/jazz/rap, pre-raphaelite and post-modern, literally everything under the sun What is their favourite colour? Yellow What is their password? She uses the same one for every website. It’s usually a variation on the first letters of words in sentence, with random letters capitalized throughout Favourite food: Pancakes What is their favourite work of art? Van Gogh’s “Sunflowers” Who is their favourite artist? John Williams Waterhouse What is their favourite day of the week? Saturday

Possessions What is in their fridge: Typical foodstuffs + iced tea + lots of cream cheese + french pastries + ingredients to bake What is on their bedside table? A stack of books, a water bottle, a journal, her keys What is in their car? Nothing, really. She keeps it clean. What is in their bin? Lots of receipts, letters from nonprofits, Smithsonian Magazine tear-outs, advertisements for cruise ships, packaging from books ordered online, PBS catalogs, eggshells from baking, lots of hair pulled out from her hairbrush, pill bottles for antidepressants What is in their purse or wallet? Gift cards to bookstores (~5, each with about $2 left), her library card, $15 in cash, two credit cards, lots of random pink/nude lipsticks, a hair tie, a mini notebook for sketching, a book if she can fit it in What is in their pockets? A lipstick, a receipt, a random $10 bill What is their most treasured possession? Her father’s spyglass

Spirituality Who or what is your character’s guardian angel? TBD Do they believe in the afterlife? Yes What are their religious views? Jewish What do they think heaven is? She’s not entirely sure, but she thinks for her it’d be like a library What do they think hell is? A place of nothingness and emptiness and no hope Are they superstitious? Mildly, but mostly for fun What would they like to be reincarnated as? A bird, so she could fly away How would they like to die? Either peacefully or standing up for what’s right What is your character’s spirit animal? What is their zodiac sign? Virgo

Values What do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? Take away their basic human dignity What is their view of ‘freedom’? The ability to make your own choices without fear of retribution or embarrassment, so long as another person isn’t harmed When did they last lie? A white lie to a friend What’s their view of lying? White lies are different than black lies When did they last make a promise? Does promising to return library books count? Did they keep or break their last promise? Keep

Daily life What are their eating habits? Two or three meals + a few snacks throughout the day Do they have any allergies? Yes, mildly allergic to nuts Describe their home. Very comfortable and cozy, with hundreds of books, ornaments from around the world, maps of places she’d like to visit, two cats, loads of plants (roses are a favorite), a small piano, lots of warm browns and soft yellows Are they minimalist or a clutter hoarder? Clutter hoarder What do they do first thing on a weekday morning? Shower What do they do on a Sunday afternoon? Watch a period drama and drink tea What do they do on a Friday night? Possibly see a show or go to the movies What is the soft drink of choice? She doesn’t drink soda What is their alcoholic drink of choice? Aperol spritz

Miscellaneous What is their character archetype? (Innocent, Orphan, Hero, Caregiver, Explorer, Rebel, Lover, Creator, Jester, Sage, Magician, Ruler): Sage Who is their hero?: Jane Austen; her father. What or who would your character dress up as for Halloween?: Ruth Bader Ginsburg Are they comfortable with technology?: Yes, but not super savvy If they could save one person, who would it be?: She can’t answer this question (Adam) If they could call one person for help, who would it be? Her father, but he can’t answer. What is their favourite proverb? A little knowledge is a dangerous thing What is their greatest extravagance? Books. What is their greatest regret? Not telling her father she loved him the day he “died” What is their perception of redemption? Being kind to those who hurt you. What would they do if they won the lottery? Buy tons of books, book a ticket around the world, and put the rest up in a savings account What is their favourite fairytale? Psyche and Eros What fairy tale do they hate? Snow White. Belle has a lot of feelings about internalized misogyny. Do they believe in happy endings? Yes What is their idea of perfect happiness? Lots of people who love them, a significant other, lots of animals to keep them company, and the ability to travel whenever they want What would they ask a fortune teller? Will I make a difference? If your character could travel through time, where would they go? Probably 1960s Woodstock What sport do they excel at? Heh. Belle, sports? She’s decent at archery What sport do they suck at? Anything with a lot of coordination (especially basketball) If they could have a superpower, what would they choose? Flight, so she could see the world.

[brokenwandsrpg]

Welcome to Broken Wands Roleplay, Gabe! The background you’ve concocted for Remus is fascinating and I’m so glad you’ve decided to explore this take on the werewolf myth here with us. Check out this page for what to do next and let us know if you have any questions. We’re thrilled to have you come play with us!

OOC INFORMATION:

NAME & PRONOUNS: Gabe, she/her/hers!

AGE: 19

LANGUAGE: My first language is (Brazilian) Portuguese and sleepy grammar mistakes are a real struggle occasionally, but I’ve been writing in English for a really long time now.

EXPERIENCE: melancolialunxr is a little bit of an oldie because I went into hiatus for a long time here but, it still has some of my favorite pieces I’ve written in the hp verse, so it’s what I have to offer. I’ve been writing in tumblr rp groups for over five years now, but I have a habit of deleting my character accounts (because I’m lame and paranoid).

ACTIVITY LEVEL: Right now I’m on break and at my parents’ house, which means I can come online only at night when I’m left alone, but I’m usually lurking on my phone obsessively all day every day. School starts on February 20 for me, so while that means I’ll have papers and projects to do as classes pick up, I’ll also be back in the comfy loneliness of my apartment, so I’ll probably write more then.

ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO TELL US: Sometimes the millennial fetus in me comes out and I type like an asshole but I swear I mean well. And also, of course, if at any point there were any headcanons that don’t make sense or just don’t apply to this world, just hit me up and I’ll be glad to change them!

DESIRED CHANGES:

About the character? Some tweaks were made here and there regarding his past history, but your part of the bio was kept intact!

About the world-building? Nope!

About the game? Nope!

Alternative faceclaim? Okay, so honestly I was thinking of Reece King. I know there’s like a joke about him being in every fancast of every fandom ever, but I genuinely had forgotten about him until halfway writing this bio and everything sort of clicked so nicely for me when I put it together. I also know he doesn’t have that naïve boyish look, but if I’m correct he’s 22 currently, which isn’t that far from Remus’ age of 16/17, and in my defense he does look generally older in photo shoots and professional pictures, but he looks younger when he’s more natural. So I don’t know, I’ll let you be the judge of that, I know everyone has different views for different characters, I just think he’d be a really interesting addition to the part. But anyway! I also had in my list Dajé Barbour, who has less resources but still could make do. I also had picked up Jackson Hale’s name, but I wasn’t able to find any resources of icon or gifs of him, so that’s just upsetting. Let me know any thoughts? I’m always open for suggestions, too! [I think you’ll probably have the best luck with Reece King due to resources, and while he looks a little old for this Remus he also has a delightful face and a viable range of imagery -- and anyway, the books talk about Remus looking prematurely aged anyway, so why not? All joking aside though, he seems like he’ll make a fine fc and we’re happy to accept that change.]

CHARACTER BASICS:

NAME: Remus John Lupin, originally named at birth Remo João and changed eventually for convenience – a request from Lyall once they took the baby in. Hope always has and continues to call him Remo, as an attempt to maintain alive his origins. Currently, after the incident and ever since he’s been hiding from the Witch Hunters, if anyone dares ask he’ll introduce himself as John, just to play it safe. “Remus” isn’t exactly a common name, and he’s afraid if it falls on wrong ears, he might get taken back to them and punished for what he’s done.

BIRTHDATE/AGE: I believe he’d be 16/17? I’ll keep his birthdate as the canon one, March 10th.

BLOOD-STATUS: Muggleborn, werewolf.

GENDER & SEXUALITY: Remus hasn’t had a lot of time to think about affection. He grew up always feeling like the odd one out of the bunch, and while his parents taught him all love was equal, they also taught him to stay guarded and be cautious around other people. What he should or shouldn’t say, what he could or couldn’t show, his emotions were always very restrained. Lyall and Hope meant well, of course, it wasn’t an easy world out there for a werewolf who not even wixes understood, and it was only a matter of safety that he kept his walls up high. He is very much bisexual and cis-gender male, and while deep down he knows that, if anyone really cared enough to ask, they’d be met with a babbling, blushing mess of a boy who couldn’t quite put into words how he felt about people.

WAND/ETC: Hope let the boy keep his father’s wand once Lyall passed away, but Remus doesn’t know what to do with it. In fact, most of the time, he feels like the thing doesn’t even want to be with him at all. His mother was never able to teach him any magic, and so he carries the thing around like an amulet, tucked into his waistbands or shoved into his socks. The Hunters only wanted to use his wolf side as a weapon of mass destruction, as otherwise the slim, frail boy wouldn’t be of much use to them, so they never gave him any other weapons. Remus is not much of a fighter, and since he’s trying to go by unnoticed for the moment, he doesn’t see the need in carrying anything of the sort around.

APPEARANCE: Standing at 6’2” after a growth spurt that didn’t quite come with a manual, Remus still finds himself unable to fit into awkwardly long limbs ever since puberty hit him. He can often be seen running into doorframes with his shoulders or knocking things over with his pointy elbows. He’s slim in nature, his skin is dark, and he’s given up on taming his hair by now, it just does what it does. His eyes are a light hazel color, but you wouldn’t be able to tell, as they’re always either hidden by thick black sunglasses, or squinting in discomfort at the presence of light. Remus was raised wearing muggle clothing; he doesn’t think of style so much as simplicity and comfort, so his closet consists of many piles of almost identical gray sweaters, with the exception of one or two colorful T-shirts, and three of the same pair of jeans.

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

FAMILY: Lyall Lupin (Father): Passed away when the Ministry fell, Remus only knew so much of his father before losing him. He was six, and although he didn’t quite understand death just then, he felt the pain of his mother, who would cry when she thought he wasn’t listening. Despite only having very few memories, Remus holds the image of his father very dear to his heart, knowing he owes his life to the man. Hope Lupin (Mother): Ever since the tragedy, Remus grew very close to Hope, as she was the last piece of family he could hold onto. They only had each other, and they got by precariously for a while before she had to reach out to the Witch Hunters and ask for their help. Now that he knows she could be in danger, he feels protective, and he wants to find a way to keep her as safe as she kept him all these years.

ASSOCIATES: I’d love to talk to the members about any potential association Remus might have with any existing characters, I’m open for plotting always! But right now, I think it’s important to mention the hoard of stray dogs that would constantly follow the werewolf around town, wherever he goes.

LIFESTYLE: Remus is currently hiding from the Hunters, as he’s positive no good things will come his way when they find out what he’s done, so his living situation is complicated, to put it lightly. He’s comfortable blending into the muggle world, as he was raised on it anyway, so he’ll spend most of his nights on different homeless shelters, sleeping on sleeping bags and eating canned soup. He’s not the friendliest and is hardly ever charming enough to talk his way into jobs, but people will sometimes spare him a few coins here and there, out of pity or charity (he suspects it’s actually only because people feel bad for the pack of dogs following him). However, with the full moon approaching, he’s started to grow more distant, to wander around looking for somewhere he might be able to isolate himself in peace and not bring any more harm to anyone.

PERSONALITY: RETICENT: from the moment his biological mother got pregnant to the moment the Lupins took him home, there had always been one very clear warning label clouding above his head or hanging from his neck: caution – werewolf. The muggle world was terrified of the beast, while the wixes from England didn’t quite understand his peculiarities either, due to his origins. Hope and Lyall only had the best intentions for their son in mind when they sheltered him, over-protected, taught him to be discreet. Remus was told stories of a horrible world out there, a world filled with people who would look at him with cold eyes, people who would spare him no thought, people who would flinch and cower away if he ever spoke of who and what he was. From a young age he’s learned to keep his emotions and thoughts well guarded. If he keeps them locked up inside of him, then no one can take it away, right? DISTRUSTFUL: a childhood of learning to be careful and an adolescence of learning he was only good for destruction. Lyall passed away and Hope’s only choice was to reach out to the Witch Hunters, exposing their most precious secret (his most precious secret), and what she got in return was exactly what she never wanted. The Hunters only cared for him if he killed for them; a young Remus learned quickly that he couldn’t trust people so easily – or perhaps at all. He only trusts his mother and the always loyal pack of dogs that insist on tagging along, and doesn’t dare open his mouth to anyone else about his monthly transformations. GAUCHE: Remus is clearly not a people’s person. In fact, more than once his mother had tried to work on his tact and gotten no result. Being raised as he was, he grew cold towards the world and retreated further into himself; his mother’s friends would always say that “he’s just a shy boy” and “he’ll grow out of it eventually”, but that isn’t quite the case for this Lupin. He’s not necessarily nervous or timid around people – he just doesn’t know how to connect with them. Even something as trivial as small talk and discussing the weather to him can feel like a puzzle he has yet to decipher. Communicating and socializing just exhaust him. SOFTHEARTED: however socially inept the boy may be, Remus was still brought up in a household where kindness and respect were as important as breathing. Even in his darkest days, when all he felt for the world was bitterness and loathing, Hope was there with gentle hands and sweet eyes to soothe his pain away, to remind him not all of it is bad. His own skepticism is engraved into his core, but he knows he has some of his mother in him. Remus may be tactless and distant to strangers, but he’s still humane and caring in nature. STRONG-WILLED: although detached and reserved, Remus is not, by any chance, spineless. Sure, he doesn’t often speak up in groups where he’s not comfortable to do so, and he conforms to other’s rules when he believes it’s for the best, but he is stubborn and sharp if he believes otherwise. He agreed to fitting into the Witch Hunters because he knows he’s helping his mother by doing so, but he has his own firm viewpoints that don’t exactly match theirs. His voice is not loud and his words are habitually mumbled under his breath, but Remus can be all curt disputes and sharp edges if confronted. SELF-LOATHING: assured as he might be in his beliefs, the boy doesn’t do so well in the confidence department. Perhaps if it came down only to society’s intolerance towards werewolves, he’d get by just fine – after all, he had his family. But his family was the real blow on him. He knows his father loved him, and he knows they so generously took him in when he was a baby, but he also knows his condition isn’t adding good reputation to the Lupin name. He knows his mother loves him, as she’s never looked at him with the kind of tired eyes he sometimes sees in the mirror, but he knows he’s a burden she carries. Raising a six-year-old alone mustn’t be an easy job, but raising a six-year-old werewolf when the world they know is collapsing and your husband just passed? Remus’ admiration for Hope is as vast as his self-loathing is deep. He knows her life would be easier if they had never taken him in, and he thinks she’ll always be the only one who will accept him. He’s certain keeping his distance from anyone else is the rightful thing to do, though in reality it is only fueling his hatred inside of his chest.

SKILLS/WEAKNESSES: Despite not being the most charming nor the best in fistfights, Remus relies a lot on the fact that he’s simply BOOK SMART. Not being one to go out and socialize, whenever he could the werewolf took to books. He read all the novels in the Lupin household, and when he grew up to realize what kind of world he’d face out there, he read about tactics and schemes and maneuvers, everything that could help his poor survival skills (but of course, theory and practice are very different things). Quiet and introspective, Remus may not be good at quick reactions, but he’s CAUTIOUS.  Always alert, everything he says or does is well thought out, and he hardly ever acts on impulse. No amount of stealth could make up for the pack of dogs often following him. Remus seems to attract every stray dog in the neighborhood and, seeing as they think he’s the alpha, they’re insistent on tagging along wherever he goes. They’re loyal to him, and great blankets when it’s cold at night, but they’re not of much use otherwise – therefor, they can sometimes be the cause for unwanted attention, making it harder for him to blend in unnoticed. And as the lore from his origins also say, Remus is exceptionally PHOTOPHOBIC; if he doesn’t have a pair of sunglasses with him, he’s left to squint at every light source he has to face, doomed to have painful headaches in response to it.

HISTORY: Remo was born in a very small town in the north of Brazil, and his life had been condemned even before he was opening his eyes for the first time. In his country of origin, a common legend says that the seventh boy to be born after six girls is cursed to become a lobisomem: part wolf, part man. The transformation will occur in every full moon, and this werewolf will kill whoever crosses his path as he stalks around its village. It will rile up home dogs and make lights flicker and go off wherever he passes, always angry and thirsty for blood, his mind completely taken by an animalistic instinct to kill. Remo was born on March 10th, the seventh brother to six sisters. At the time, perhaps by sheer twist of fate or simply luck, Lyall Lupin was walking through the cities of South America to study the different variations of the werewolf lore and how factual or not they were. He found that nearly all of these “seventh sons” either mysteriously disappeared when very young or were filed as victims of “natural miscarriages” when still in the womb – until he found one humble family in a small town who had just had their child. He befriended them, asked to know more about the legends, and they begged him to take the child away. Remo was two weeks old when Lyall met him, and in a small town like that where religion and folklore ruled, the citizens were already planning to have the innocent boy killed. The family already had a lot in their hands taking care of six little girls, not only they couldn’t afford to have another mouth to feed, they would rather have their baby taken by a stranger into a possibly better life than have to watch him die in the hands of the intolerant population. Lyall and Hope at this time had been married for nearly two years. They were young, they had no children, Lyall couldn’t simply let this little boy behind; besides, he didn’t even know if this legend was real or if it was all this people’s mythology. He took a chance and he and Hope had always loved Remus as their own. They never once hid from him the fact that he’s adopted, and he’s never felt any resentment towards the family who gave him away, only gratitude that his father was there to take him in.

GOALS: Despite always being well aware of his history, Remus has never looked too much into the folklore of his condition – something he wants to explore. He thinks maybe if gets to the root of his very existence, he could find a cure, or maybe some kind of temporary antidote, something to help him with the transformations. He yearns to learn more about this part of himself, because he believes looking into the past will give him the answers he needs. On a more immediate level, Remus is concerned about being as incognito as he can while also trying to find a safe space to turn. He barely manages to get by on his own, but he wants to makes things right. He wants to make sure his mother is safe, he wants to keep the Hunters from hurting her at any cost, even if it means he has to risk his own safety at some point. He’s curious and he longs to learn more about this world, about his father’s work from before he passed, about this war he was dragged into, about wixes and their resistance, about everything.

WHERE ARE THEY NOW AND WHERE ARE THEY GOING?

PLANS: I’m really excited to just play this character out wherever he goes, because I think it’ll be incredibly interesting to play a Remus that may be a little bit sharper than the canon one. This Remus never had Hogwarts or the Marauders to show him that he could have friends, this is a world that hasn’t shown him compassion just yet, at least not outside of his home. I’m thrilled to write him and I hope others will like him, too, maybe? I’m curious to explore his relationship with Hope, I think he’d go a great deal of distances to keep her safe, and I think the Hunters will probably find out about that quickly. Surely they won’t let him go easy after killing one of them, so I want to see how that goes – will they find him at some point? Will they go for Hope instead? Obviously, due to Remus’ unsociable nature, I want to see who he’ll let himself communicate with. I want to see some of his walls break down and I want to see how he’ll deal with that, if he’ll feel comfortable growing attached to someone, or if it will throw him off completely. On that note, he’ll be spending this next full moon alone – how will he deal with it? Is someone, by any chance, going to see him turning and find out his secret? That could be interesting, as I don’t think he would willingly tell anyone he met, otherwise. And how would his relationship with Sirius and James be? Would they ever get along in this world? There’s also his relationship with magic in general! Lyall passed away when he was only six, so there likely wasn’t that much he could’ve taught Remus then. And Hope is a Muggle, so even if she wanted to, she wouldn’t be able to pass onto him any helpful spells or tricks. I want him to explore this more, to try and teach himself wandless spells or maybe to try to use Lyall’s wand (which would not work out, probably). Certainly he’s read a lot about magic, but I would assume he’s a little rusty when it comes to practicing it. With him running away from the Hunters and spending most of his time roaming the streets, I really want him to see a different kind of world than the one he’s been living in for so long. I want him to meet the rebels, the wixes who are fighting against the oppression, and the wixes who are quiet about it too, the ones who keep their magic hidden like he does. I want him to find comfort, but I’m also really interested to see how other characters will take to a werewolf. This Remus is not soft or easy to be friends with, he’s comfortable in his loneliness and he is not going to reach out to change this, as he assumes everyone will only turn their back on him when they find out about his condition. That being said, I’m also not opposed to the idea of everyone already knowing that he’s a werewolf – or maybe everyone quickly finding out? I think it can go either way, it would also be interesting to see him interact if everyone knew; I think he’d be a lot more wary and even harder to reach. A loose werewolf in town clearly is no good news for anyone, so I’m excited to see how his transformation can impact other characters. If he doesn’t find a place to transform where he can be locked up or isolated, there might be some havoc coming.

INTEREST: I haven’t ventured into HP group roleplays in a while now, to be honest, usually because I can’t find one that meets all my criteria, but this one is definitely more than I can even ask for. Remus has always been a favorite of mine and last year I’ve developed this AU for him that plays on my country’s folklore and urban legends, and I’m going to be incredibly stoked if I’m able to write him for more people. A (talented and awesome) friend of mine is in this game and recommended it to me, and of course I couldn’t help myself at the opportunity to bring my beloved AU to life inside this freakishly splendid plot.

OPTIONAL WRITING SAMPLE: I feel like I’m super late with this app already and because it’s already 4am, I’m just too excited to submit it in (and too tired) to add a writing sample. I hope the app can already give you an idea of how I write? But if your heart so desires, I completely understand, just please send me a message and I’ll write it up asap!